Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 11:56:01 -0700 (PDT) From: Really Bigdreamer Subject: Searching for Lost Souls Chapter 4 Hey everyone, you know what I'm about to say: don't read this if you're underage, if M/M stuff is offensive to you, or this is illegal wherever you are. Plus, I don't know NSync in any way and this is not meant to imply anything about any of their sexualities. Write me with comments at reallybigdreamer@yahoo.com Chapter 4: Aftershock JC and Justin sat around the table in JC's kitchen awkwardly taking glances at one another as they talked. "Alright," JC said, "we agree that we can't ignore the fact we have feelings for each other...more than just friendly feelings that is..." "What do you wanna do about it?" Justin asked as he looked at the table and away from JC, he felt ashamed for acting on his lust and for being untrue to Britney. "Well," JC said as he took a quick glimpse at Justin, still not looking at him, "we have a couple of options. One, we can try to ignore it again, though it didn't work the first time. Two, we can talk about it openly, but try not to act on it. Or..." Justin tried to read JC's mind, something that he had become somewhat good at since they had known each other for so long. "Or?" Justin asked as he truly looked at JC for the first time since their...exercise. "Or..." JC had trouble saying what he was thinking, "or we can keep on going and see how it works out..." Fear overtook JC's body as he said it, how would Justin react? Would he be offended? That was the last thing that JC ever wanted. "Um, well, I..." Justin had trouble contemplating what JC was saying. "I'm sorry, Justin, I shouldn't have..." JC stood up and turned around, "...I know that you must be offended so..." JC was interrupted as he was spun around and Justin kissed him more passionately than had ever kissed in either of their previous, forbidden escapades. Justin's tongue snaked its way into JC's mouth and massaged the inside of JC's mouth. JC closed his eyes and was overtaken by several emotions, each one flooding his mind with different thoughts: Apprehension: `What if someone finds out?' Tenderness: `I wish this would never end...' Fear: `The press would butcher us...' Lust: `I want more of him...' Anxiety: `I should pull away and stop this before it gets out of hand...' Affection: `His mouth is so soft, so delicate...' Guilt: `Justin is my best friend...I can't do this...' Love: `Justin can be more than my best friend, we can make this work out...' After nearly a minute Justin stopped and pulled away, looking into JC's eyes. He knew that JC was thinking it over and trusted JC more than Justin trusted himself. Justin knew that JC would choose not only what was best for the band, but what was best for the two of them as well. "JC?" Justin asked worriedly after moment of silence. He felt as though JC was mad at him for being so bold. JC answered by leaning in and slowly parting Justin's lips with his tongue. He kneaded Justin's tongue with his own and sucked on his lower lip. This kiss was much shorter, but no less passionate. "I think we should try this..." JC whispered into Justin's ear. Tears welled up in Justin's eyes, maybe from love, maybe from shock, or maybe from the fear of what might happen. What would happen if the press found out? Or, even worse, what if it didn't work and the band suffered the consequences? Justin pushed them from his mind as he looked at JC's flawless complexion and placed his hand on his chest, tracing his finger down JC's torso. "I think...I know that whatever you say is what's best for us..." Justin said as he dropped his hand from JC's chest to his hand. "Good," JC said with a warm smile. "Well," Justin said as JC pulled the two closer together, "I gotta get back home so I can pack my stuff, our flight to Pennsylvania is only two hours away." "You're right," JC said as he glanced at his watch, "I need to pack too. So...I guess, we'll be talking more about this later?" "Of course," Justin said as he began to walk away, "we need to figure if, when, and how we're gonna tell the rest of the guys." "Oh, yeah..." JC said to himself as Justin blew him a kiss and walked out the door. Justin and JC had seats next to each other on the plane, Lance and Chris were sitting next to each other across the aisle, and Joey was flying to Hershey, Pennsylvania (the city on the tour) from Los Angeles. Almost immediately after takeoff it seemed that Chris was asleep, though Lance was reading a book. JC looked at Justin, who peered out the window. He slowly slipped his hand next to Justin's without anyone noticing, Justin looked at him with dismay, as if they were doing something drastically wrong. And, in a way, they were. If anyone caught them then it could blow up into a tabloid firestorm. "Is there anything I can get you?" the stewardess and asked JC as she walked up to him. JC was startled and jumped a little and he quickly pulled his hand from Justin's. "Um...no..." JC replied worriedly. She smiled again and walked away as Lance looked on confusedly. "Justin," JC whispered, "what are you gonna do about Britney? We can't do this behind her back, it wouldn't be fair." JC tried to get Justin to end their secret love escapade before it ever began, not wanting it to get out of hand or for anyone to find out. "Don't worry," Justin said, "we talk on the phone and through e-mail, she'll never even suspect it. We're just experimenting, trying something new, what's so wrong about that? Besides, if I dump Britney the press will swarm me, her, and the tour trying to find out everything. If they think we're still together then they'll leave us alone..." JC stared at the ceiling of the plane nervously...were they doing the right thing? That's it, write me at reallybigdreamer@yahoo.com with comments, suggestions, or questions...hell just write me for any reason.