MDate: Sat, 24 Aug 2002 16:33:54 +0100 (BST)
From: Jezebel <eh_oh_po@yahoo.com>
Subject: Set Adrift Chapter 6

Title: Set Adrift
Author: Jezebel the Temptress
Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything
about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal
knowledge about their private lives.  If you are underage for your area or
if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else, if you
don't like the thought of two men together in a loving, sexual way this
isn't for you either.

Summary: Nick finds out that one small act can have severe repercussions
for a long time to come.  Who would have thought that one kiss could cause
so much pain?

Notes: This is my first story to the archive, I've written a little before
but no real slash in this arena.  Please send feedback so I know if you
like it and where you think this ought to go.  I know that sex isn't the be
all and end all of a relationship so it might not feature too strongly in
the main story but there will be some of it along the way.

The dates might be a little messed up but I wanted this to fit into a
specific timeline and all of the major events will still happen, just in a
shorter space of time.

Check out the following stories by the authors that inspire me:
On the Streets (BSB - Kevin) 
Under Management (Nsync - Lance) 
Brian and Me (BSB) 
JC's Hitchhiker (Nsync)
Double Take (BSB)
My New Life (Nsync)

-----------------------

The club was busy.  It had been a while since he had actually been there,
prefering instead to have a manager run the place as Drew had done and
spending his time with the accounts and other business that he had to take
care of.  The last thing he wanted was to rehash the memories of his former
relationship but Steve had suggested that they go out and this was
apparently the bar to be seen in at the moment.  Steve mentioned it to
Sully and he had stupidly said that he could get them in.  Watching the
other man's face light up when he had spoken those words was almost worth
reliving the pain of being with Drew.

It had been a long time since Sully had cared about a friend as much as he
did with Steve, the other man was kind, generous and amiable and made Sully
smile again.  Making him happy for the first time in six months.

Since their fateful meeting at the corner of whatever street they had been
on the pair had become friends, at least they had been out twice since for
coffee.  If he was not still grieving for his lover and nursing the five
year old wounds over the man he hopelessly loved Sully would have labelled
this night out as he and Steve's first official date.  Of course he did not
know that Steve was gay but the other man had suggested "Home", a bar
frequented by many gay people with anything goes atmosphere as their
destination.  That had to say something about him.

As it turned out it was also to do with the fact that "Home" was one of the
largest and more exclusive clubs in New York, of course that had slipped
Sully's attention for the most part, he had not noticed the growing queues
or increased popularity as it was months since he had actually been there,
he had seen the increase in profits but put it down to good management.
How was he to know that the club regularly turned away custom after 11pm as
the bar was full?

Steve met him outside, slightly worried that the line was already three
deep and a few feet long, he hoped that whatever Sully had planned was
going to work or else they would end up at the diner around the corner -
not that it mattered but he would prefer to spend some time in the club.
Maybe they should have arrived earlier.

"Hi." Sully said smoothly as he saw the well dressed Steve who stood out in
his relatively plain blue jeans and dark blue shirt.  There was something
distinctly ordinary about the other man and yet Sully saw something in him
that made him stand out, he just didn't know what it was.  "You ready?"

"Are you sure you can get us in?" Steve asked, looking uncertain as he saw
another group join the end of the line.  "We can always try somewhere
else."

"Nonsense." Sully said, as if it was easy to get in to the exclusive club.
He held out a hand for Steve and smiled when it was taken.  Without
thinking Sully manouvered them past the red rope that held in the crowd and
to the front of the line.

"I'm sorry sir, there is a..." The bouncer began, at least until he saw
the face of the customer that was pushing in.  "Please go in Mr. Sullivan."
He said, automatically opening the barrier for his boss, a little surprised
to see him there and with a guest but he was not one to gossip.  Especially
not when his boss slipped him a few dollars and then smiled.

The crowd seemed a little annoyed that someone who was not a celebrity
could get in with no hassles, they had waited for a while and were still
waiting to be let in, hoping that someone would leave so that they could
take their place.

Steve was in the corridor and following Sully for a moment before he pulled
his hand away and caused Sully to turn to face him.

"Why is there a picture of you behind the bar?" Steve asked as he pointed
to a photograph that took pride of place amongst a number of others on the
back wall.  Sully blanched a little as he looked up, seeing the candid shot
of himself and Drew when his lover had been alive and the pair had been
very much in love.

"It's his bar." A voice from behind him said and they both turned to see
the barman holding out a bottle of Tequila and two shot glasses.  "The
usual?" He asked, ignoring Steve in favour of the man that paid his wages,
or at least signed the check.

"No, just two beers." He answered, Steve looked up at him questioningly.
"Beer okay?" Sully asked belatedly.  Steve nodded but did not let up with
his gaze, there were questions to be answered and he wanted to know what
those answers were.

So much for a quiet night.

"Will you bring the drinks through to the office?" Sully asked and the
barman nodded an affirmative to his boss.

Sully wondered if he would get out of this unscathed or if he was again
about to lose a friend.  He wondered how many more he would lose before he
got his shot at happiness.  He hoped that he would not lose Steve at all
and that maybe this time he would find that light that was at the end of
his five year long tunnel.

--------------------------

Nick had been in the city two days just looking around, checking out a few
places and catching up with a few old friends, it was really the only way
that he would make it in the city without being spotted.  If he got those
visits and favours out of the way he could guarantee some privacy. That was
why on his third night in the city he was finally at the club that he
wanted to be in, the club owned, at least as far as he had found out, by
one Andrew Fitzpatrick.  A man that was now dead.

The obituary had named Sully as his lover, and Nick was here to see if he
could find that man, he hoped that he had better luck than his investigator
and armed with a few pictures that he had covertly taken from AJ and Howie
and with a few hundred dollars to sweeten the deal he was in search of
someone that knew the whereabouts of Alexander Sullivan.

It was proving harder than he thought possible.  People were either not
telling him everything or the man that he showed them in the pictures did
not exist, at least not to these people, even at the bar there was no
answers.  He saw the barman fiddling with a few things behind the bar and
adjusting the pictures that hung there but when asked what he was doing the
barman replied cleaning and then got Nick a drink.  There was definitely
something odd going on here but Nick could not for the life of him work out
what it was.  With a sigh he headed off back to his hotel to consider
further leads.  No wonder the investigator had wanted him out here to look,
he was sure that the other man had no luck, he certainly had not.

Meanwhile in the office at the back of the bar Sully was just finishing his
story, one that left out any mention of the Backstreet Boys but that had
explained to Steve how a 23 year old ended up with a bar, an apartment and
a dead lover to mourn.

"So Drew left everything to you?" Steve asked, almost as if he did not
believe that the pair had been together a little over two years and that
Sully was Drew's sole beneficiary.

"Yeah." He replied, a little guilty.  "Drew knew that he was dying, and he
changed his will a few months before he died and left it all to me but
there is not a day that goes by that I wouldn't trade it in to be with
him."  Sully knew that it was the type of thing that people always said but
as with most cliches that was because it was true, he may not have loved
Drew as much as he would have liked to but that did not mean that he did
not love him.

"I know what you mean." Steve said, he had lost friends and could only
begin to imagine what it would mean to lose someone who meant more to him
than that.  He had only been in love once and that was enough to swear him
off love for a lifetime.  "What did your family think about you suddenly
getting all of this inheritance?"

Sully's face clouded and Steve wondered if he had asked the wrong question,
maybe they had not accepted the fact that he was gay and had disowned him.
Steve had never really thought of it that way before, had never really had
to think of it in that way.

"I'm sorry..." Steve began but Sully shook his head.

"No, it's just that I don't really see them anymore." Sully replied but his
face was closed and blank as if he did not want to show any emotion.  Steve
wondered if there was bad blood there or if it was just something that
Sully regretted, either way it was clear that it was not something that the
other man wanted to talk about.

"Yeah.  I wish I saw my family more often too." Steve agreed, trying to
take some of the pain out of the words that Sully had spoken but really
Steve was planning how he could give his new friend the taste of home that
he so clearly missed.  He wondered if his Mom would mind an extra mouth to
feed at dinner that Sunday, usually she didn't mind and it was not like it
would be the first time that he had brought someone home.

"Anyway, we came here to dance and party.  I think that we ought to do some
of that before it's too late." Sully said, clearly changing the subject
completely.  This only made Steve more determined to take his friend to
Sunday dinner, family was clearly a big issue for the other man and Steve
wanted him to experience it from the other view.  Not all families had
issues and maybe Sully needed a loving family around him to help him get
over whatever problems he had with his own.  A loving family was one thing
that Steve had an abundance of and he was quite willing to share.

--------------------

"I can't come out there at the moment Howard I'm busy." Nick said,
admonishing his friend as he sat in the bar/café and spoke over the
phone.  He was trying to remain incognito but it was not helping his
disguise when he was caught talking to a 'Howie' on the phone while he
looked like a 'Nick'.  He wasn't really sure that he would be recognised
anyway but the last thing he wanted was some fans mobbing him and it
appearing in the local tabloids, that would seriously diminish the small
amount of hope that he had in finding Sully.

"Nickolas, Alex really needs us all around him right now, and you
especially have some work to do."  Howie argued, knowing that they needed
some sort of reconciliation before they went back on the road or else they
would never get anywhere.  Howie had always been the mediator of the group
so with this latest spat he felt the need to get into the middle of it, not
only for the band but for the sake of his friends.

"He won't forget this one in a hurry." Nick said.  "It's not like the time
I put Nair in his soap or switched his dyes over from black to bleach.
This was serious."

"All the more reason for you to apologise.  The sooner you get it over with
the sooner the pair of you can start to mend your broken friendship." Howie
said arbitrarily "Don't you think that you've done enough damage to your
relationship already without adding the agony of an extended period of
silence?"

"I'm dealing with this in my own way." Nick said with a sigh, knowing that
the others would think that his plan was flawed but that this was the only
way he could make it up to AJ, as if he was realigning some karmic balance
or other.  "Tell him I sent my love and my best wishes.  I wish I could be
there with him." Nick said.

"You could if you really wanted to but maybe Alex was right, maybe you were
never really his friend in the first place." Howie said angrily before Nick
heard the dial tone.

Nick knew that it was bad, Howie Dorrough was not known as Sweet D because
of a prediliction for sugar, it was because he was kind and caring, for him
to hang up on someone meant that they had done a very bad thing.  He could
only begin to wonder how much damage his absence was causing but Nick
wanted to find Sully and send him back to AJ so that all would be forgiven
or at least so that the pair would be friends again.  Nick was not sure
that AJ or Sully would ever forgive him totally, he could not blame them
either but if nothing else it would alleviate his own guilt.

Nick took a sip of his luke warm coffee and looked over the notes that he
had made.  They were not very extensive, only a bare skeleton of what he
knew about Sully's life and yet as he looked at it he could see the life of
the man that he had ruined, that he had forced to leave his best friend and
move away from his home.  Nick didn't know the reasons behind the move but
he was sure that he was responsible for the changes that Sully had made;
the main one being leaving AJ behind.

There was a whole bunch of dead ends when it came to finding Sully, he was
either Harry Houdini and good at escaping or he was being hidden, either
way Nick was not sure that he had any way of tracing Alexander Sullivan, at
least not until the other man wanted to be found.  At first Nick had
wondered if he could bribe someone into telling him what he wanted to know
but so far that had not worked, neither had asking questions or just
waiting for people to talk to him.

Nick wanted to give up but this was his pennance, there was the physical
part of course, his hand still bound in bandages ached each time he flexed
his fingers but he needed to clean his conscience too.  Finding Sully was
the only way to do that and so far he was failing, he wondered if that
meant he was failing at life in general too.

As he was about to order a second cup of coffee to replace the now cold
one, Nick saw a face he thought he recognised, it was a little older than
before, a few days of designer stubble marred the naturally youthful looks
but Nick would recognise that face anywhere.  The boy had not changed much
in those two years, he was still wearing leather trousers that cupped his
fuckable ass and showed off what was one of his best assets and he was
still surrounded by a small group of friends; ones that Nick assumed looked
out for him in the way that his band mates had always looked out for him.
Ben's friends all had the same look of protectiveness that Kevin, Brian,
Howie and at one time AJ had displayed.

Nick remembered the one night of passion he had shared with the man, not
only because it was one of his hottest but because it was onle of his last.
The morning after their session when Ben had gone to leave Nick had felt as
used and neglected as any number of men that he had taken home for a night
of carnal pleasure and then unceremoniously dumped in the cold light of
day.  It was as if he had been shown a mirror image of himself and after
studying his reflection had been left wanting.  Now he barely had sex with
anyone and felt the better for it, he would rather be stuck with his own
hand than the feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was dumping some
guy just as he had once been dumped.

Nick wondered if Ben would remember him and if he would have any ideas
about people to ask about to see if they knew Sully.  Nick supposed that it
was worth a shot, as desperate as he was anything was worth a shot.  So,
instead of ordering another cup of coffee Nick grabbed up the few
possessions he had with him, threw down a few bills for what he had eaten
and drunk and then moved over to the table where Ben was holding court with
his entourage of friends.  If nothing else Nick wondered if he would end up
with another night of carnal pleasure, just because he rarely indulged in
sex these days it did not mean that he did not think about it.

"Hi." Nick said softly as he approached the table, feeling a little out of
place amongst these obviously loud and proud gay men.  He could not count
the number of pins, triangles, rainbows and other assorted paraphenalia
that these men had with them that stated they were gay, Nick could never be
like that.  If the record company could even see him associating with these
men they would blow a gasket.

"Can we help you?" One of the other men said, rather rudely, obviously not
taking Nick interruption as a good thing.  He seemed hostile and Nick
thought maybe that was to do with the fact that they faced antagonism a
lot, of course it could also just be to do with the fact that the man was
mean.

"It's Ben, right?" Nick asked uncertainly as he made eye contact with the
ring leader of the group.  Ben smiled slightly and nodded but did not
speak, apparently he wanted to know what Nick was after just as much as the
mean guy.  "Look, I don't know if you remember me but I wanted to ask a
favour, I know I have no right and..."

"Sure." Ben said, cutting off Nick's babbling.  "Take a seat."

No one moved and Nick looked around a moment for a chair before after some
cajoling someone shifted over and Nick could sit in the booth with Ben and
his physically closest friend.  Nick hesitated and Ben rolled his eyes.

"Do you want to maybe go outside for a minute or something?" He asked, Nick
let out a breath and nodded thankfully.  When Ben stood up the others let
them out and then turned back to their own conversations while Nick
followed the other man outside to talk.

"Well, what can I do for you?" Ben asked once they were settled outside in
the alley behind the café.  "I assume that this is more than a sexual
favour you're after because you could get that anywhere and from what I
hear you never piss in the same pot twice."  There was no tone of
bitterness in Ben's voice, if anything he sounded more jaded than
embittered but to Nick that was just as sad.

"I guess it's a waste of time telling you that those rumours are
exaggerated, besides you were right, it's not sexual.  I wanted to ask you
about this guy." Nick said.

He reached for a picture of Sully that he had enhanced and blown up on his
computer.  It was now on a piece of A4 paper with the one from the obituary
along side it.  Nick had xeroxed dozens of copies of the pictures so that
he could show them around, leaving them with barstaff or waiters at various
clubs with his telephone number and a number for an answer service that he
checked daily.  He knew that giving out his cell number was risky but it
was the only way he could be contacted.

"What do you want with him?" Ben asked suspiciously and Nick could almost
see the barriers going up around Alexander Sullivan again, he did not know
why but he was being protected.  He was almost certain that Ben knew
something but he could see that there was little chance of getting the
direct answer that he had hoped for.

"Well it's not likely that he got me pregnant but he did run out on a
friend of mine." Nick said, knowing that it sounded as if he was implying
that Sully had gotten someone else pregnant.  He could see the sparkle of
amusement in Ben's eyes and wondered if that meant the other man knew
Sully.  If he knew that Sully were gay then he would not believe the
pregnancy story for a moment but then Nick had not actually mentioned that
Sully had gotten anyone pregnant, just that he had not.

"I might have seen him around.  Does he know that you're out looking?" Ben
asked suspiciously.  "Maybe this guy doesn't want to be found."

"I just want to talk to him." Nick said, not bothering to mention that the
talk he wanted involved him begging and grovelling until Sully agreed to go
back with him and helped him to make AJ happy again.  At the very least he
would ask Sully to go for a brief visit to his friend, just until AJ was
better and was speaking to him again.

"Well, maybe I can put out the word that you want to speak to him." Ben
said.  "You got a number where he can reach you?"

Nick thought for a moment, a little sceptical about trusting this man and
wondering why he had ever thought that a one night stand a long time ago
would make Ben the right man to help him.  Nick decided that this was the
only lead he had at the moment and however basic it was what he had to do.
Taking out a card and pen he wrote his cell number on the back of the piece
of card that already had the details for contacting him through the Firm.
He handed it over and hoped that he could trust Ben not to sell the details
on, it was mad he knew because he had handed out the information to a dozen
strangers in the last few days but giving it to someone that he had fucked
and that had fucked him seemed more dangerous somehow.

"I'll be in the city at least for a few more days." Nick said.  "Then I'll
be off work for another week or two so I can fly out anytime to meet him."
He did not want to sound too eager but maybe this was a start.  It was
certainly further than he had been in the last few days.

"Okay." Ben said.  "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks." Nick said with a gentle smile.  Ben leaned over and placed a
gentle kiss on Nick's lips.

"Anytime." Came the casual reply as Ben headed back inside to his friends.
As he watched the back of the retreating figure Nick was almost glad that
he had given up that lifestyle, he wanted to actually care about things and
more importantly about people and apathy did not allow him that, neither
did casual sex.  Nick had once believed that all of those one night stands
would lead to him finding true love, or at least it had been a distant
dream, now all that mattered was finding someone else's man and getting the
pair back together.  Nick was fully aware that he was just not the type to
settle down, after all who would want him anyway?

It was late and he was tired, he mused as he headed back to the hotel, it
was probably too late to hit "Home" anyway, the club would be getting busy
by the time he had washed up and changed into more suitable clubbing gear.
Nick decided to stay in that night and buy a movie instead.

He wondered if Sully was really out there and if so what he was doing.
Nick knew that he had to find the other man but his question was how, it
was not as if the other man was just going to fall into his lap.

---------------------

Sully woke with a start, not realising until he was fully awake where he
was.  It had been a long time since he had slept in another man's bed and
to wake up in the unfamiliar apartment only increased his anxiety at having
stayed.  He should have left the night before, there was nothing that had
forced him to stay and yet here he was, the next morning with the guilt in
his mind and the heaviness of his heart.

He could smell the coffee in the next room and pulling on his pants he
walked out into the next room, pausing only to pull on his T-shirt, he left
his feet bare and felt the coolness of the shiny polished boards beneath
his feet.  This was definitely not his apartment, not the one that he had
shared with Drew.

"Hi." Steve said with a smile as he held out a cup of steaming black
coffee, when he took a small experimental sip Sully was surprised to taste
the two sugars that he took already added.  It was a testament to just how
much time the pair had spent together and how often they drank coffee.
"Did you sleep well?"

Sully blushed a little at the question and then nodded.

"Yeah, thanks.  Your bed is really comfortable." Sully said, not really
sure what else he could say.

"Well, it's only a spare room but you were pretty out of it last night.
The last thing I wanted was you driving home alone." Steve said.  "I'm
surprised that you aren't more hungover this morning." It was a comment, no
real question and yet Sully was sure that he ought to dignify it with a
response.

"I never really do get hangovers, I guess it's some sort of apology for the
fact that I can't take so much as a Tylenol without reacting really badly.
Any drugs knock me completely out, drink doesn't affect me."

"Cool." Steve said, apparently that was explanation enough for whatever it
was that he was seeking from Sully.  He moved back into the Kitchen then
and Sully could smell something cooking.  "I hope that Bacon and eggs is
okay, I didn't have much else."

"That's fine." Sully said.  "Usually I only get cereal or something."

"Well, as long as you're not one of these people that swears by their
cereal we ought to be fine." Steve said as if it was some kind of private
joke, Sully didn't get it but supposed that he wasn't supposed to.  He
contented himself with watching the other man cook in the small kitchen and
poured himself another coffee as soon as the first one was gone.

A few minutes later Steve put a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him and
took the seat on the other side of the counter.  Steve's apartment was
small, a kitchen with breakfast bar that led into a larger lounge area and
then a hall off of which came two bedrooms and a bathroom.  A final room at
the end of the hall that Sully supposed was Steve's studio finished it off.
It was large enough for a single guy, too small for a family but then again
Steve was alone and it was probably enough for him.

"So..." Steve said around a mouthful of scrambled eggs.  "I've kind of
got this thing to go to today.  It's a family thing and I was
wondering..."

Sully could see where this was going, Steve was angling for him to go with
him, he knew that Steve worried that Sully did not get out enough but the
last thing he needed was a million and one people that he didn't know
trying to make small talk with him as they were really wondering what their
beloved son/nephew/grandson Steven was doing with this moron.

"I ought to go by the club." Sully said, wanting to avoid the question that
he could feel was coming.

"You haven't been there in months." Steve said.  "Or at least you hadn't
before the other night.  What will one more day matter?  You said yourself
that the manager runs it perfectly well without you."

"I..." Sully tried but Steve was persistent, wanting nothing more than to
get his friend to spend time around people and try to reenter the real
world.  Granted his own family were not all that normal but it would be a
start and would be less daunting than the club.

"Nonsense." Steve said.  "You're coming with me."

Sully could not help but agree, he was not really one for a confrontation
and would rather avoid any argument if it were possible.  He graciously
acquiesced to Steve's suggestion and after they had cleared the breakfast
dishes he found himself dressed in a borrowed shirt and his pants from the
day before.  Apparently he was going to be meeting some of Steve's family
and they were having a small gathering.  His friend was a little shady on
the details of why exactly the gathering was taking place, Sully assumed
visiting relatives or something but Sully had no idea what he would face
when they got there nor what it would mean for he and Steve.  At that
moment his only real apprehension was about the people that would be there
and meeting them, he was not really a people person and he was worried that
they would not accept him.  Steve did not seem to care about that he wanted
to help his friend, he did not know either how significant the meeting
would be.

-------------------