Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2001 10:23:10 -0800 (PST) From: aj says youre fired Subject: The Sixth Backstreet Boy...is it like 13 now? Wanta know why this is taking so long?? I hate school! No, really. Too many exams and finals and yak yak yak. And then i have absolutely no time for anything else. Don't you just hate that? Anyway, here's the story you all love so very very much. As always, I'm not implying anything about the lives or sexualities of any of the persons included in this story. Y'all can write me at the address above, I don't mind and love feedback. Also email me if you want the URL to my lovely website. (hehe!). Well...onwards!! ~*~ "Wake up!" someone yelled at me and dumped ice water on me. I sat up fast and shook my hair out. I looked up warily. JC and Joey were there. Joey held a glass in his hand. "Get up." He repeated. "We have to leave in ten minutes." I nodded wearily and tried to drag myself up. I looked around for my suitcase and backpack and stuff, and saw them packed neatly on my bed. I looked around. When I saw JC, my heart sank, and I remembered how he'd hit me (and it'd broke my heart.) He glanced at me quizzically. I pointed to my stuff, puzzled. He nodded. "Thank you." I said very quietly, not looking at him. "Welcome." He said quietly also. I sensed that something was bothering him. But I didn't want to look at him or say anything to him so I wouldn't make him more angry at me. What had I do to make him hit me? Was it the 'go to hell' remark? I told him I was sorry, and I really truly was. Was it telling Lance 'go fuck yourself'? I'd smarted off to JC before and he'd never hit me. I honestly couldn't think of anything that I'd done to make him hate me and want to hit me. And I hurt me, it really did. Just thinking about it made me want to cry again. I loved him (as a friend, mind you) and it hurt me do much that he'd hit me. I didn't hate him (I actually didn't hate him-or any of the guys-I wasn't exactly happy with Lance or Chris or Joey, but I didn't *hate* them) and I never would. He and I used to be so close, he always acted like I was his little brother and he wanted to protect (and care for) me. What had I done to ruin that? I felt like crying, I really did. I sat on the edge of my bed, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, miserable. I haven't felt this lonely, heartbroken and desolated since they first started hitting me and hating me (but even then JC didn't) but I'm used to that now. It's just the hope. Ever since I realized JC didn't hate me and didn't want to hit me and treated me halfway normal, I had hope, hope that he'd want to be my friend again, and I hoped he'd help me, stick up for me, convince the others I wasn't bad. But now that he'd hit me, the hope was gone. I didn't believe now that he would ever be nice to me, ever again. And that made me so sad...it really did. Like now it was completely hopeless. It was pretty quiet. JC was sitting on his bed, staring out the window, and Joey was looking at him worriedly. Maybe he was concerned that something was wrong with him, too. The door opened. "Let's go." Chris said. JC and Joey got up quickly and grabbed their stuff. I slowly (cause my body and heart ached) stood and gathered my things. I followed the others out and got on the bus, while JC and Lance took care of our hotel stuff (like the bills and stuff). I put my stuff under my bunk and got in the bunk with my cd player and my Backstreet boys "Black and Blue" cd and headphones. I drew the curtain across and curled up into a ball in the fetal position, not ever wanting to come out. I wished I could see Brian. I sure needed someone to put an arm around me and tell me I wasn't a loser, that it wasn't completely hopeless, and that I still had at least one person. I wished so badly that I had someone. Someone to hold me and wipe away my tears and let me know they loved me. I felt tears prick at my eyes when I thought of how many people loved (actually *loved*) me and cared for me (not my face or body or voice-fans). No one. My mom and dad hated me, the guys (all of them now) hated me, and the BSB (well, Brian and Nick anyway-I didn't think I could count the others as friends) were just friends. And even Brian had said we didn't know each other that well. I sighed and gripped my pillow tightly, turning up the volume a bit. Eventually I fell asleep. ~ "Yo! Wake up!" someone yelled. I opened my eyes and took off my headphones. "Get up, we're in New Orleans. Get up and get your stuff together, we're at the hotel." Chris said. I nodded wearily and gathered my things. We went up to our rooms and got situated. "What are we doing today?" Joey asked Chris. "Um...let's see...it's eight o'clock now...our show is at 7pm. We have to be there at 5 o'clock. Other than that, we're on our own. Our flight back to Orlando is at 11:45pm. Show's over at 10pm, we go straight from there to the hotel, grab our stuff, and run to the airport. Then go home. "Should we all go somewhere or chill separately?" Joey asked. "Separately." JC piped up. "I don't feel like being around a bunch of people. No offence, but..." "Sure." Lance said. "That sounds good." The others emptied out, and JC picked up the phone. "I'm ordering breakfast." He announced to me. "What do you want?" "I'm not hungry." I mumbled very quietly, not looking at him. I set my stuff down and sat on my bed, staring at my hands. "You sure?" he asked, surprised. I nodded sadly. He shrugged and ordered some for himself. At about ten-thirty, I decided I wanted to go out. I put on my shoes and got a jacket. "Where are you going?" JC asked. "Out." I said quietly. "Where?" "Around." "Why?" I shrugged. "Look around. Maybe buy a cellphone." "Oh. Well, I gotta go with you." He said, and got up. I sat down in a chair and waited for him to get his shoes, money and jacket. He looked at me after he did. "Makeup." He reminded. I reached for my backpack and got out the tube. For some reason, even though they have been doing this to me for more than a year, I always forget the makeup crap. In a minute I finished it and put it away. JC opened the door and I walked out. I lingered in the hallway, waiting for him to lock the door and join me. He started walking and I followed him. We walked downtown, and he led me to a RadioShak. I went to the counter while he browsed through the electronics. I found a saleslady and she helped me set up a cellphone. She also recognized me. I signed her t-shirt and hand, and took a picture with her. She said since I was so nice and cute (hehe!) she could get my cellphone plan active right away. "Sweet!" I said. "Thanks...hey, what's your name again?" "Saelir. You're so welcome Justin." She smiled. (She pronounced her name 'sailor') "See ya. Hey, are you coming to the concert tonight?" Her face fell. "No. It was sold out before I could get through." She grinned. "But getting to meet you now was worth, like, five concerts." I grinned. Compliments like that are so moving. "Well, thank you so much. Here." I pulled an *Nsync ticket out of my pocket (I just so happened to have an extra few for the tour for friends or something) and handed it to her. "Here. Come. And have a great time." Her eyes lit up. "Oh my god!" she said. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" I smiled. "You're welcome. Hey, want another one? To bring a friend?" "Oh, yes! My best friend Dandy! She'll want to come!" I paused. "Dandy?" "Yeah. It's actually Daniale, but we call her Dandy. She went to your concert in Montgomery...yesterday, I think it was." "Lemme guess." I sighed. "Blue hair, tie dyed clothes, no shoes, totes 21 Backstreet boys cds around in her backpack." Saelir nodded. "Yeah. Did you see her?" "Yeah. But that's a totally different story." I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Is she around?" "Um...probably. She's probably...knowing her, hoppin' around town, freaking people out and being In Your Face. That's Dandy, she's really funny." "Does she live here in New Orleans?" "Naw. She lives wherever she wants to. Her parents are dead, and she doesn't live anywhere." Saelir said sadly. "She's homeless?" I said, shocked. "Yeah, but she hates that term. She calls herself free. Free Girly. We also call her Girly. No one knows her last name." "How does she eat?" "Friends. She comes to dinner with me all the time. Some other friends give her money and food and clothes all the time. She has friends like us all over the whole damned country. She's a tough little chick, let me tell you." "Hey!" a female voice yelled. "Watch it, Block Face!" "Dandy." I said to myself, then turned. Sure enough, there she was. Blue hair and all. Her backpack was on the ground, and JC was apologizing for knocking her down, picking it up. "Watch it next time, and learn how to shave." She said, pointing to his face. JC decided he had wanted to grow a little facial hair for the rugged look. He turned red at her remark. "Howdy Dandy wassup?" Saelir called. "WAZZZZUPP!" Dandy called, like the dude on Scary Movie (which was anything BUT scary, for those of you who haven't seen it-My advice, don't eat while watching it). I laughed. "Hey, howdy Bush Head!" she called. I grinned. "Ah ha, so we meet again," I said in a funky French accent. "Yeah, I guesso. Whatcha buyin' a cellphone for?" "To call my friends and stuff." "Can I use it a sec?" "Um..." "Oh, let her." Saelir said. I reluctantly handed it over. "Who do you want to call?" "Santa Claus." She said. She dialed. "Yello, is bleach blonde around? Hiya Tallso! Where's Bleach Blonde? Ah, okay...thought you'd get away from me, eh?...Hiya. yep it's me, 'the blue haired weird girl'." "Who are you talking to?" I said, confused. "Bleach Blonde." She said matter of factly. "That's what she calls Brian Littrell of BSB." Saelir explained. "She has weird nicknames for all of BSB and *NSYNC." "I know." I said. Jc finally got his bearings and came over. "And I do not have a Block Face." He said. "Sure you do. And girlyman over there has a Bush Head." "I am not girly." I rolled my eyes. "Huh?" she said into the phone. "Oh...Bush Head who else? This is his phone...no, he just bought it two minutes ago. Here." She handed me my phone. "Brok wantsa talk to ya." "Yello, Bush Head here." I said, smiling. "Justin?" "Bleach Blonde?" He snorted. "Oh can it. Weird girl, huh? Wanted me to sign all of your cds." "I know. She made me sign 21 BSB cds." I said. "I've been wanting to talk to you. Are you busy later so I can't call you? I'm in a RadioShak now, and I need to speak with you privately." "Uh, sure. You're not flyin' out on me, are you? You're still coming?" "As far as I know, yes." "Okay." He sounded relieved. "No, I'm not busy. I'll be in my hotel room in Tallahassee. We're leaving first thing tomorrow for home. Concert in 45 minutes." "Ah. Cool. Well, I have to let you go now, but talk later." I said. "Sure Justin. Is what you need me for very important? About the others or something?" "It's exactly that." I said. "Bye." "Bye Justin. Stay strong." "If only I could." I sighed, and pressed the end button. I put my phone in my pocket, and looked up. Jc was signing an autograph for Saelir and Dandy was mocking him and making fun of his facial hair. "...you look like a bunch of gnats are mating on your upper lip." She mused. "ALL RIGHT!" he said. "I'll go back to my hotel *right now* and shave it off. For you, okay?" "Oh, for me? You're too sweet. Now get hopping before I see a resemblance to pubic hair on your chin." "I'm going." JC said, pale. I stifled laughter. JC marched outside and put his hands on his hips, waiting for me. "Bye Saelir." I said. "See you around Dandy. Hope I see you at our concert." "We'll be there." Saelir said, grinning. "Although if there's no seats left I'll be leaving Dandy at home." "I'll sit in the aisle." Dandy retorted. "That's a fire hazard." I said. "So I'll sit on the blinking *stage*." Dandy rolled her eyes. Saelir laughed. I started to walk out. "No!" Dandy yelled. "Don't leave! For if you shall leave moi, I would forever die inside, and whenever the wind doth echo through the ages, it shall internally whisper...Bush Head...Bush Head..." she whispered. I cracked up. "Bye Dandy." I walked out. "What a strange girl." JC shook his head while we walked. I nodded. "Yeah." "She seems to have cheered you up." He said, sideglancing at me. "You didn't say barely a word today. You seemed really depressed." I didn't say anything. "Are you okay?" he looked at me. I kept my eyes on the ground and shrugged. I started feeling sad again that he'd hit me. I looked up and saw something bad. "Uh-oh." I said. "Uh, Josh, I'll race you back to the hotel." I offered. He glanced up, and saw what looked like (to us) several hundred girls staring at us, looking like they were going to run. "You're on." He uttered. The girls started for us, and we took off like bullets. I won the race. I bolted across town to the hotel and darted into the hotel. JC was a block behind and coming, and the girls were catching up. I was holding the door open and calling to him. He jumped up the steps and in the safety of the building while I shut the door. Well, no such luck. They yanked on the doors and almost pulled me outside! JC caught his breath and pulled with me. "Will someone get security!" JC yelled. They came running up and took care of that. Humph. "Whew!" JC said. "What a run!" "I...win..." I panted. He laughed. "What's going on?" Lance came downstairs. "Fans." JC said simply. "And lots of them." A security guard remarked. "What time is it?" JC asked me. "12:47." I said. "Let's gets some lunch." Joey suggested. "Um...we'll have to order in." Chris said, eyeing the mobbed door. "How about the restaurant?" "Sure." JC and Lance said. We went and changed our clothes (me in the bathroom) and went to lunch. Then we went to the concert hall and signed autographs until the show, which was one of our best so far this year. We went back to our hotel rooms, to grab our stuff. "Uh oh." Lance said. "Our plane's delayed." He was talking on the hotel phone. "It's not until 12:30 now." We groaned and put our stuff back. It was about ten-thirty. The others got out a bored game and started playing in one corner of the room, ignoring me. I remembered I'd wanted to call Brian. I pulled out my cellphone and dialed his number. "Hello?" "Hi Brian." I sighed. "Justin, what's up? You sound major depressed, dude." He sounded concerned. "Are you busy?" "Oh no, I can talk. Just chillin' in my room. What happened?" I started to whimper, not being able to help it. Luckily, the others were fully ignoring me, and weren't listening. "JC hit me last night." I said. "He's *never* hit me before." "Oh...damn." he sounded awed. "Well...okay, tell me all of what happened." I took a deep breath. "It started with a joke. JC had heard the joke where you put girls in your hand and shake them up, and he showed me so we could show the others. Lance made some smart-ass remark to me about the hand motion, and I told him he had a dickfor on his face. So he started hitting me right after he got it, and I told him to fuck off or something. Then JC said, like, that was uncalled for, so I told him to go to hell. But I really didn't mean that, I was just hurting and frustrated. I told him 'I'm sorry' and he really didn't say 'forgive you' or 'still mad' one way or the other. Lance kept hitting me, then Chris did, then Joey, then Lance told JC to hit me. And I didn't think he would, but..." "He did." Brian said flatly. I swallowed. "Yeah." He sighed. "You need to turn them in." "I cant Brian I just cant." I said. "Well, what do you expect me to do about it? Do you think it's just going to go away? Think again Justin, cause it wont. It's just going to get worst instead of better. And it probably will stay that way." He said. "That's the best advice I can come up with. Turn them in. *You* take charge, *you* make them stop. Threaten them. Get the law on your side." "That will just cause more problems. " I whined. "Well for crying out loud! " he exploded. "I don't know what you want from me! Talk to me Justin, what do you want me to tell you, what do you want to hear? Cause I'm completely clueless. You're the deepest and tormented person I have ever met. I don't know what to do. And I don't know what to tell you to do. If it was me, I would threaten to turn them in. And if they were smart, they'd stop, cause not only do they get busted, they'll be humiliated. And they'll be arrested. Then it's up to you to press charges. Maybe you could have them arrested once as a warning and not press charges, then they'll know you're serious. If they do it again, it'll be the second offence, and you'd press charges. If you're truly unhappy and want so badly for it to stop, make it stop. It's legally and morally wrong, and it should never take place in the first place." I sighed. "Thanks Brian, but I just can't. And I'm truly sorry for causing you so much frustration. You don't have to worry about me anyway. I don't mean to worry you. It's just that I need someone to talk to and comfort me. I'm not a very secure person, and I desperately wish to have the comfort and security of being loved. Cause I'm not. "" "Oh Justin, sure you are, " he said desperately. "Your parents." "My dad hates me because I'm gay and my mom couldn't care less if I lived or died." "Siblings?" "My dad's sons. He's probably given them a mouthful about me. And they'll believe whatever he says." "Aunts, uncles, cousins?" "They don't really know me." "Close friends?" "Don't have any. Well... the guys, but they hate me. And you guys... I probably shouldn't count AJ, Howie, or Kevin as friends... but you and Nick I do..." "Yeah." he said. "We're your friends." "Well, you don't love me. " I pointed out. Brian sighed. "There are many different kinds of love, Justin. You're right, we don't love you as a... well, lover, or a family member. Probably not even as a friend yet. Caring... I *care* about you. Nick cares about you. I care about you and don't want you to get hurt, physically or emotionally. Caring is different than love. And so is affection. They're all different from each other. Each person feels one or two or all three or none for different people. Take me and you. I care about you. But I don't feel affection towards you. Me and Nick. I care for him and love him. I have affection for him. We're much closer and know each other better than you and me. Me and my cousin Kevin. I care about him and love him, but no affection. And the way I love him is different than the way I love Nick. Kevin is a cousin and a friend. Nick is a friend, a brother, a best friend... there are even periods of intimacy between him and I because we're so close and have the 3 factors; love, caring, and affection for each other." "I get what you mean." I said. "Well, I... you know, as we get closer as friends and everything, I probably will develop that kind of love for you. I always do. And you know that I honestly care about you and *want* to get closer and know each other better and I want to develop that kind of closeness and friendship. I love having friends that I'm extra close to. It makes me feel secure and loved." "Yeah." I said. "And that's what I want." He sighed. "Don't worry Justin, you'll find someone eventually. Who would not want you. You're good-looking, honest, kind, *very* sweet...just...who'd not want you?" "You." Pause. "What do you mean by that?" I sighed. "I don't know." I said sadly. "JUSTIN!" "What?" I looked up as the others yelled at me. "Uh-oh, should I go?" Brian asked. "Uh, yeah Bri, I better let you go." I said. "Okay." He said reluctantly. "Bye Justin. Stay strong." "Bye." I said, and pressed end. I looked up to the other guys. "What's up?" "Who were you talking to?" Lance demanded. "Brian Littrell." "Why? So you can seduce him and molest him?" Chris said. "no." Lance hit me. "Don't you lie about it." I stood up and shoved him down hard. I guess that burst of adrenaline made me. "Don't you hit me!" I yelled. "I didn't do anything, don't you hit me!" "What the hell!" Chris said. He pulled Lance up. "Get him!" Lance said. All four of them ran towards me. JC pulled my arms back and for the first (and only) time, I fought it. Joey had to help JC; both of them grabbed one of my arms to hold me down so Chris and Lance could hit me. Which they did. A lot. They kept hitting me and I quit fighting it. But Lance was plenty mad and he kept hitting me. I felt like I was going to either pass out or puke. "And...don't...you...shove...me!" he said, hitting me harder with each word. After what seemed like hours of pain (all four of them hit me) they dropped me on the floor. "Is he unconscious?" Joey asked. "I think so." JC said. "Damn man, what's his problem?" Lance said. "He's been real fresh lately, and talking back a whole lot. And where's he get the balls to shove me? How long has he been doing this? Cause it's got to stop." "Um...about a week and a half ago." Joey said. "What happened to him a week and a half ago?" Chris said thoughtfully. Pause. "He met Brian Littrell." JC said dryly. Silence. "He's becoming awful close to him." Lance said. "Went to his concert, brought him to ours...swimming and out to dinner...I'll just bet what that 'dinner' was...and he keeps calling him. Hmm...Josh, what's Brian Littrell like?" JC was quiet a moment. "He's...he's the kind of guy who won't let you push him around. He's pretty tough. If you were to give him crap cause he's gay he'd give you a mouthful back without any hesitation." He said slowly. "He's full of energy. He's really funny, and *very* nice and pretty cool. Why, do you think he's the reason Justin's so snappy lately?" "I think exactly that." Lance said. JC paused. "Justin threatened me the other day." "What!" Lance exploded. "What'd the little bastard say?" Chris demanded. "He told me he could turn us in. for assault and battery, and discrimination." JC said. He paused. "He's right though, and that's the scary part. There was a law passed a few years ago, the gay rights thing. We're not allowed to prejudge him. Just like when it was women's rights, and black people. Now it's the gays. And he's right, he could definitely turn us in. There's plenty of proof-marks and scars on him-that *we* did. We could get arrested-and that would be public. Talk about no one liking *NSync then. And if he pressed charges...we would have no defense. Especially if he sued us. He'd win. For assault and battery and discrimination. And we all know Justin told Brian he's gay. I have a feeling he told Brian we hit him, too. You never know what that Brian will do. I think he's told Justin he could turn us in. and since Justin won't, Brian might." Silence. "He's going to? Justin's going to turn us in?" Lance said weakly. JC sighed. (They'd thought they'd beaten me unconscious, but I was only on the verge of it. I had my eyes closed and was listening...hehe, sneaky me...) "No. See, he was saying it after I went out once...it was a couple of days ago. When I came back he was staring into the mirror at all the bruises and marks we'd down to him. Then he started tellin' me about what he could do. And I said 'And you would, wouldn't you?' And he started to cry, saying how he didn't hate us and it hurt him so much what we were doing...I didn't say anything cause he was crying-and hard-and I aint never seen him cry before... He's so tough. I don't think any of us have seen him cry. Then I asked him if he was really going to turn us in, and he said 'no, of course not.' Like he was never really considering in the first place. It was all just talk...But I'm telling you guys, when I saw him cry, I realized we're hurting him pretty badly. I mean, I'm telling you, he's all shook up and hurting inside like hell." "Who gives a damn?" Lance said dryly. Josh ignored him. "I mean...I just felt terrible. "To tell the honest truth...he doesn't do anything wrong. He doesn't act gay. He acts like a normal guy." "Yeah, cause we're all around to crack him when he doesn't." Chris snorted. "No." it sounded like JC was shaking his head. "He acts like a nice normal guy when we're all not. Like when it's just me and him. Or when we went with the Backstreet Boys swimming." "Well, you were with him." Joey pointed out. "True, but I know Justin. I know what he's like when you guys aren't around. He's like the old Justin. He'll talk to me, we'll have half-assed normal conversations. He hasn't talked to me since yesterday though, don't know why. But...he'd be normal if we just gave him a chance." A pause. "You're talkin' like you want us all to stop hitting him." Lance said. "Well...I kinda sorta do." "Well, that'll 'kinda sorta' do no good." Lance mimicked him. "Cause then he'll *really* act like a fag." "You don't know that." JC said quietly. "Yes I do." Lance argued. JC sighed. "It's time to leave for our flight home." Joey announced. "Well, wake the Bastard up and let's go." Lance sighed. "I'll get some water." Chris's footsteps headed for the bathroom. Pause. "So are we still hitting him then?" Joey asked. "Yes." Lance said loudly. JC didn't say anything. Someone threw cold water on me. "Wake up." Chris said, and poked me in my sore ribs with his shoe. I opened my sore eyes and looked at them and sighed. I (with difficulty) got up and got my stuff. We all went wordlessly to the limo and to the airport. I put my makeup on in the limo before any of them yelled at me to. I didn't say anything and I didn't look at them. Neither of them said anything either. They all looked like they were thinking. We got on the plane. It was 12.17 am. Lance was sitting to my left and JC to my right. Lance must have still been pretty pissed that I pushed him, cause he kept saying really mean things to me in a low voice, and every time I would doze off, intentionally or because I was just so damned tired, he would kick me to keep me awake. In a few hours, we were in Orlando. Ah, home sweet home. I wearily got my stuff, and JC, Lance and I got a taxi to our house. (We were still sharing a place to live, need I remind you?) they jumped out so I paid the taxidriver and went in. I started climbing stairs to go to my room. I was almost asleep while walking. I trudged to my room, dropped my stuff on my floor, thinking, I'll unpack tomorrow. I plopped down on my bed and fell dead asleep. ~ I woke up at noon the next day. Hooray, a whole week of vacation and a week with Brian! I yawned, threw on some clothes after a shower and grabbed the telephone in my room (I had my own line). I dialed Brian's home number. No answer. I dialed his cellphone. "Hello?" he chirped. "Hi B-Rok." "Oh hey Justin. How's it going?" "Not so good. Where are you?" "Airport. We're almost home. Will be in about...oh, half an hour at least. Maybe an hour. Where are you?" "Home." "Your pals acting up?" "Like hell." I sighed. "Well...Like I said, I'm not home yet. But if you want to, you can go over there. There's a security thingy on the fence, and the code is-now write this down-red, blue, two, three, green, four, red, one, red, red, six. Okay?" "Okay." I said, writing it down. "And the spare housekey is on top of the doorframe." "Alright." I said. "If I'm not there when you come home, I'm probably just held up. But I'll be there, count on it. Am I staying over as in sleeping in a guest room?" "Yep." "Okay, so what should I bring?" "Um...like, six or seven day's change of clothing, for sure. Maybe some cds that you like. A favorite movie...video game. I dunno, what do you usually bring to a sleep-over." "I dunno, I never been to one." "Huh. Well, anyway, bring clothes and whatever. Okay?" "Sure. I'm going to unpack, then pack a backpack or whatever. You know, directions to your house might help a whole lot, bud." He gave them to me. "See you then." He said. "Okay. Bye Bri. Hey, is Nick coming over with you?" "Not as now, but would you like to see him? I can invite him over for awhile." "No, actually. I'd like some time with just you so I can talk to you about what the others said after they beat me, and thought I was unconscious. But I wasn't.' "Ah, sounds interesting. One inquiring mind desperately wants to know?" I laughed. "Not now bud. Tell ya later." "Okay. See you then, Bush Head." "Bye bye bye, Bleach Blonde." I hung up. I pulled my extra backpack and duffelbag out of my closet and looked at my wardrobe. I put 7 shirts, 7 pants (jeans), and seven changes of boxers and socks into my duffelbag. I put an extra pair of sneakers in my backpack along with a couple videogames and got a hat and sunglasses. There. I should be set. I put my car keys and my cellphone in my pocket. I also threw 'my' tube of foundation in my backpack, in case we went out in public. There. *Now* I'm ready. I went downstairs. "Where do you think you're going?" Lance's voice snarled. "Out. Obviously." I rolled my eyes. "Don't you get snappy with me." He said angrily. I didn't say anything. "So where the hell are you going?" he demanded again. "To Brian's house." "Brian Littrell?" "Yes." "No." "Yes." I looked at him. "No." he narrowed his eyes. "You're not seeing him anymore. He's putting idiotic ideas in your head. You're not going. You're going to stay away from him." "No, I'm not." I said, a hint of anger in my voice. "He's my friend and I'm going to visit him." "He's putting dumb and ridiculous ideas in your head, and you're going to get in trouble." "What do you care?" "Don't get fresh." He said, unusually calm. Maybe the guys had all talked about it and none of them were going to allow me to see Brian anymore. "Put your stuff back and stay in the house. We'll be checking on you." He turned on his heels and went into the den. I just stood there at the front door, pondering my next move. I finally decided. I gathered all my possessions around the house, and put them in my bedroom. I locked and padlocked my room. There. Now they can't do anything to any of my stuff. I grabbed my duffelbag and backpack and went out the door. I jumped in my car, and drove to Brian's house. Ha ha ha, I did it anyway. And I felt *so* good to disobey them! (Lance anyway.) I pulled into Brian's driveway, and saw his BMW already in the driveway. I leisurely hopped out and went to his door, and rang the doorbell. ~*~ dun dun dun... email me! ajsaysyourefired@yahoo.com for feedback and a neaty URL for my one and only website. It's pretty groovey if I do say so myself. ===== you have just recieved mail from aj. consider yourself lucky! *laugh and the world laughs with you. fart and you stand alone.* *never eat yellow snow*