Date: Tue, 26 Sep 2000 18:43:18 -0400 From: Lightwind Subject: Taken for Granted 4 I am SO sorry! This has taken me longer than I planned. I do apologize, though I do have school and work, I have a computer at home, and I spend like a bazillion hours on it on the net. If there is anyone out there that is still reading this, thank you! Now, if you are still reading this, bless your soul, and you would like to yell at me, or tell me that I'm forgiven, please do so at lightwind20@adelphia.net. I no longer have my Mindspring account, so if you have sent an email to there, than I apologize. I do still have my AOL Imer name of firesong18, or lightwind20. Now, the legal sh...shtuff *grins*. This is completely from my own imagination. Please read "I made this up." It has no basis in reality save that the characters mentioned, well, those of N'sync, are real, however the situations that I have put them in are completely made up. Further, I have no knowledge as to the sexuality of any of the members contained herein, or of anyone else that may grace the story with their presence. Also, if you are not of legal age, within your own country/state (region, etc)/county/city/whatever, please don't get caught reading this and blame me. You shouldn't be reading this legally, but since you probably are anyway, just don't get caught or in trouble. Oh, and if you are reading this, and are gay/bi (cause I had a straight lady email me which I thought was cool) than make sure you clear the history, the location bar, and see if you can find the file in your computer, so your parents don't find it *blushes*. Up on the rooftop Fear, the most primal of emotions, can reach out for you no matter where you are, and no matter what you are doing, and can catapult you into action, no matter the consequence you may face, as it rarely give you the time to think about the course of events that you are about to undergo. There are many types of fear; some are holdovers from childhood such as fear of the dark. Other fears are those that have been passed down through the generations, such as fear of snakes, or of spiders. Still others are more personal fears such as fear of heights or fear of closed spaces. All these fears reside inside an individual, and are focused upon oneself. However there are those fears that are focused on the world around you, or more specifically focused on those around you. To a parent, the world of their child is full of many frightening things, and there fear is that they won't be able to protect their child from those things that can scare or even harm their child. Along this line is the fear for someone else. This is often felt by friends who know that what their friend is doing is stupid, but they feel that they can't or shouldn't' interfere. Some things like promiscuity, and drugs may place a strong strain on the friendship, but the friendship, if it is strong enough should endure. But what about those fears that aren't any of these? The fear for another that pulls a cord in your heart, and sends a scream echoing throughout your consciousness, leaving no room for anything else to exist. It is this type of fear that awoke one Joshua Chasez from his dream of a forest and of a beach, and of Lance. Though a portion of his mind still wondered at Lance's presence in the dream, the majority of his consciousness was filled with an indescribable fear. Fear from an image that had appeared in his dream. An image of one of his closest, and most dear friends, standing atop the roof of the hotel, close to the edge, with a look of inhuman pain on his face. It was that image, the look of pain on Justin's face, that had catapulted Jc, not only out of the dream, and out of his bed, but up the stairs because the elevator would take to long. It was that image that spurred his flight up the stairs at a speed he knew he would never again be able to duplicate under conscious control. He burst on to the rooftop like an avenging angel, sent from God's hand to strike fear into the hearts of mortals, or in this case, to save the life of an innocent soul, before he did something whose repercussions would send ripples of pain throughout the lives of his friends and family, for the rest of their lives. "Justin?" Jc's voice carried easily over the rooftop to where his friend stood. Yet though Jc knew that his voice had reached Justin's ears, Justin gave no sign of acknowledgement. Jc hesitantly stepped closer, calling out Justin's name, a bit louder this time. "Justin?" Jc heard his voice echo across the rooftop, so he was absolutely certain that Justin's ears were in range of his voice, and should have picked up his voice. Yet Justin stood there, overlooking the roof, as still as a statue, and just as unresponsive. Fear once again filled Jc's heart. Justin was so 'tuned out' that he was not responding to Jc's overtures. Justin was never that out of it. While his ability to focus on something sometimes left Jc in awe, he had never been so out of it that the simple act of calling his name, failed to break that concentration. Jc stepped even closer, so that he was standing along side Justin's statuesque form. He was about to reach out his hand and touch his friend's shoulder when he saw something that stilled his hand. Gracing his friend's handsome face, glittering like diamonds, were twin rivers of tears streaking in their meandering way, across his cheekbones, and around his jaw. That image alone almost stopped Jc's heart from beating. A glistening river of endless tears that ran freely from Justin's eyes, tears such as Jc hadn't seen since Justin had told him about how his parent's were going to get a divorce. One shock after the next, blow after blow to Jc's heart and mind. For he had followed the river to it's source, and there he found the biggest shock of all. Where Justin's normally shining eyes were supposed to be, there were two orbs that could have been mistaken for eyes. However, to those that knew Justin, shared their lives with him, as he and the guys had for the past few years, the orbs that were in the sockets were no more Justin's eyes, than Joey's hair was it's natural color. They seemed empty and hollow, devoid of anything even remotely resembling emotion or thought. Yet what scared Jc the most was that they seemed devoid of anything even remotely resembling life. This was a life that had always shined out of Justin's eyes, to set the world around him glowing with the vitality that had radiated out of those normally shining orbs. Those very same eyes, right now, seemed to be doing just the opposite. Instead of burning with life, they seemed to be tight and closed, like the shutters of a house, you could faintly see the light from inside, but you couldn't see anything else. Justin's eyes were so tightly closed that Jc wasn't sure what to do. Justin's eyes were always the windows into his mind, and into his soul. They always showed his emotions, whether joy, or sorrow. Yet here Jc was, staring into the normally expressive eyes of his best friend, yet now those eyes were as hard as stone. "Justin? Justin please talk to me. What is going on? Please?" Maybe it was the frantic tone in Jc's words. Maybe it was the tone of pure love, and also the rather strong note of fear as well. Whatever it was, Justin slowly turned towards Jc, his eyes not altering in the slightest. Though Jc knew that Justin was now looking at him, he almost shuddered at the still completely vacant look in Justin's eyes. "I'm fine Jc. I'm just thinking. I just wanted to be alone right now. So if you don't mind..." Now Jc was truly scared. This was the final blow to an already tense situation. Justin's voice was dead. There was no hint of emotion, no ember of life. There wasn't a single hint in those words of the person that was Justin. A voice that had thousands of girls, and guys, willing to do anything for him, was now nothing more than a pale shadow, a cold imitation of what should be a warm, gentle voice. "Justin, what's going on? You don't normally just sit on top of a roof, while it's freezing, especially not in just a t-shirt and boxers." Justin turned his head from Jc, and looked out at the city once again. He couldn't tell Jc what had happened. He knew Jc cared, and would comfort him, but he didn't want comfort. To need comfort, was to admit that there was pain, and even though the pain had been extraordinary, it was now just a dull ache, a void into which nothing came back out of. "Just leave me alone Jc." "Justin I..." Justin's head snapped back to Jc in a flash. In those dead and lifeless eyes a spark appeared. This was a spark born of anger and rage, not at Jc, but at the source of his pain. Kyle. Yet Kyle wasn't here, and Jc was. Justin needed an outlet, any outlet, and Jc had presented himself as a target. "I said get out! I do not need you here Jc! I don't need you hanging around me like a little chick, or a male dog in heat. I don't need you treating me like a child, like some sort of mentally retarded child that can't take care of itself! I do not need you to hang around me like my mother, and I most definitely do not need you! Now get out of here!" An old axiom persists in the world of mortal men and women. A child's singsong, used to bolster courage in the face of playground bullies. The axiom went "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!" The author of that axiom, had he or she seen the look on Jc's face at that instant would have immediately scrapped the singsong as a lie. The look on Jc's face was the look of one who had just lost something that was more precious to him, than anything in the world, and something more precious to him than he ever realized. In his chest, he could feel his heart shattering into a thousand pieces at the hate filled words that spewed from Justin's mouth. He shook his head back and forth as if to deny Justin's words any power, as if to deny them any truth, or any power. The look in Justin's eyes though, caused him to realize that Justin, if only in this single instant, meant every single thing he said. He neither needed, nor wanted Jc. At all. Jc's gorgeous eyes, whose color now lay shattered by the tears that swiftly filled them, looked at Justin one last time, before turning, and stiffly walking away. Jc's voice, normally as expressive as Justin's, was now colder than the arctic winds, for as he walked away, he tossed one more comment over his shoulder. "Far be it from me to bother you. Wouldn't want you to actually think that for some reason, I cared about your sorry ass. Next time I come running anywhere to save a 'friend' I'll check and make sure that the 'friend' is really a true one." With those parting words, Jc made his way off of the rooftop and back down to his room. He kept expecting Justin to follow him, but there was no hint of motion from above. He quickly reached his room, and walked through the still open door, closing it behind him. He threw himself on the bed, and fresh tears started. He couldn't believe how hateful Justin had been. Those words just kept echoing in his mind, increasing the pain each moment... He never sensed the bare whisper of motion, nor felt the smooth lips up on his cheek. Nor did he hear a soft whisper as it left the room say, "No offense Jc, but I do hope this is the last time we meet tonight. May your sleep be restful, no more dreams of Lance for tonight...sleep well mortal man..." Back up on the rooftop, Justin barely heard Jc's final remarks. In fact he was barely aware of his own words. It was as if some automatic response, an uncontrolled defense had sprung up and lashed out at Jc, at anyone that was around him. Unaware to the young singer, in his heart, one of those single strands of love and friendship, that had remained in the wake of the flood of pain following Kyle's bitter words. One strand, a little brighter than the rest, shuddered for a moment, and than pulled taught. This glistening strand was pulled so tight that the strings that made it up began to unwind, making it more fragile as time went by... Hall of the Gods Mortals often stare at the sky and whimsically wonder what it would be like to have the power of flight. They often stare at there fellow mortals and wonder what it would be like to be able to see into the minds and the hearts of those around them. Often times a mortal will wish with all their heart to be able to be another, if even for a few precious moments. There are moments in a mortal's life that they desire nothing more than to hear the voice of a loved one long since dead. To be able to tell those people how much they cared about them. Mortals however are easily amused. Such a simple thing as dropping a single stone in to a still pond, and watching the ripples, can bring a smile to a mortal face. Watching a child, any child, not just one of their own, laugh and play in the sun, can make a mortal, for a time, forget their troubles and remember back to a simpler time, when they to, were a child. On the flip side of this, is that mortals are often easily frightened. A quick sound, a flash of motion, all can make the hairs on the back of a mortal's neck stand up in terror. A mortal fear, that seems to be almost universal, is the fear of loneliness. Arm in arm with this fear of being alone, is the fear of silence. Some mortals revel in silence, feeling no more secure at any point of the day, than when they are enwrapped in a cloak of gorgeous silence. To others, that very same silence that brings one joy can reduce another to the level of a crying child, filled with fear at the absence of sound. It is these mortals that, if they stood in the Hall of the Gods that afternoon, would have stared around in shock as the cacophony that normally permeated the air of the citadel, became so low that a falling feather would have caused a sound so loud that those assembled would have turned in shock as the echoing reverberation filled the hall. The reason for this sudden lack of any type of noise was the announcement of the young man that stood before the dais upon which the King and the Queen of the gods sat. This young man, clad in a white tunic that stopped at mid calf, with wings of an angel sprouting from his shoulders, stood defiantly before the dais. His sapphire eyes were as hard as stone, and his body language of one that was not going to back down from his stand. Those that sat upon the dais however, were not so still. "Cupid, what means you by this statement? Hast thou lost thine immortal mind? Thou canst not simply remove the Power of Love from the breasts of mortals!" "Thou art wrong oh noble Zeus. I can. Love is under my power, my control. It is my gift to the world, much as fair Demeter gives life to the world, yet only during those times that her daughter, Persephone, is not within the domain of thine brother, Hades." "That is a different situation Cupid. Demeter, in her grief, canst not give life to the world, but has sworn, that with the return of her daughter to her, she shall again feel the ability to grant life to the mortal earth." Cupid shook his head, and a smile split his face. This smile however was not one of joy, or of mirth, but of scorn. Zeus himself was held in shock, that a god would dare to show scorn to him. "Fair Demeter, removes her gift in grief. I am removing my gift in rage. There is no longer love of the mortal world in my heart, only pity, scorn, and anger. Though pity can often lead to love, the presence of the other two, do remove the possibility of love for this race returning to my heart." Hera decided that Zeus, for all his wisdom and power, was gaining no ground in the argument with Cupid. He was in fact losing quite badly. "Cupid, even those in love, often feel a time of separation. They will often feel at one point that the other holds them in contempt, and that the love has gone out of the relationship. However, if that same couple works at it, tries to reestablish the bonds of love, than often they will find that they can indeed rekindle the flame they had thought that they had lost." Cupid stared at Hera. Had she not listened to a word she said? Had she simply dismissed it as soon as she heard it revolved around a mortal life, and thus was not of immortal, eternal, galactic, or even 'practical' concern? "That is a valid argument m'lady, however the reason I am here today, is not because I am not in love, nor is it because the one I spoke of, feels that the other has fallen out of love with him. It is because the one he loved did their best to ensure that the words that were used to split the relation ship would be the most hurtful of all that could possibly be used. With no thought whatsoever to the feelings of the one to whom he had professed love to in the past, the one with whom he had shared many secrets of the heart, the one who he shared his dreams with, his strengths and his weaknesses. "That is the reason I am here. I could overlook this if this was the exception to the rule, but rather this seems more and more to be the rule rather than the exception. Furthermore, at the instant that this occurred, the mortal did, unknowingly albeit, rip from his heart the capacity to love. In his pain a storm of anger, fear, remorse, depression, pain, and sadness ripped through his body, heart and soul, leaving nothing standing in its wake. Of those that were able to survive that storm, only a few of the once many bonds remained: those to his family, and those of his band mates. "Yet still would I have gone on in ignorance not knowing the events that had occurred, were it not for the fact that in doing so, the shattering of those bonds of love reached out to me here in Greece, and caused me such pain, that I faltered while aloft in the sky, and fell towards the ground." During his speech Cupid's voice became harder, stronger, more full of steel, and totally devoid of life. It was a voice that could strip paint off the walls, and cause a child that heard it to begin to cry tears that would be unrelenting. This voice held in it such contained rage and anger, that an adult having heard it, would have run in terror, for fear that the rage and anger would focus upon them, and cost them there very lives. "Cupid I fail to understand how it is that you think that you have the power to remove love from mortal hearts." Zeus stated calmly. "We have all suffered a loss of power as time has gone by and mortals have begun to believe in their 'science.'" "Quite simple lord Zeus. Each year as St Valentine's Day approaches, my power grows. The figures of myself on windows, cards, candies, and in flowers on sticks appear more and more frequently the closer we get to that day. My name is mentioned far more during this period than the rest of the year. During this period I am almost back at the power levels I enjoyed during the period of the Golden age of Greece or Rome. During this time, I DO have the power to reach out and rip the power of love from every mortal breast!" Zeus could hardly believe the way Cupid was acting. Never once in the history of the gods had cupid had anything other than a sunny disposition, and a ready smile. Yet here he was issuing edicts as if he were the King of the Gods. It was time to remind him who it was that was in power. Zeus's eyes seemed suddenly filled with the power of lightening, and a tornado force wind ripped through the hall, while a blast of thunder shook the deities gathered. His voice took on a tone harsher than Cupid's had been, and became filled with an authority that was used to getting it's own way. "You shall not raise your hand against any mortal from this day forth unless thou art doing so at the request of one who is higher in station that thou art. As such, thine power is hereby limited and chained, so that it may not be used unless within the confines of the rules I have stated!" Cupid stared defiantly at Zeus as a rage filled his eyes. Lightning gathered at Zeus's hand and arched out to strike Cupid where he stood, and make Zeus's edict come true. Cupid tossed back his head and screamed into the howling winds, "Oh ye Mistresses of Fate. I summon thee. If I have moved beyond my power, than let Zeus's bolt strike me where I stand. Otherwise, halt it where it flies!" To those that have seen everything in the world, nothing is new. To those that have lived for centuries, all things have been done, immortal and mortal. To those that nothing was new, and where they were nothing left but a holdover from the past, life was hardly worth anything. Yet every now and than something will happen that is new, even for those that have seen it all. Something that will give them the ability to, for a few more centuries, endure in that which others, call life. Here on that day, in that place, and at that time, such an event occurred. Cupid's cry echoed through the hall and beyond, cutting through time and space. And in the wake of that cry, something that had never before been seen by any of those here gathered occurred. Zeus's lightning bolt, charged with his edict to limit Cupid's powers, froze in mid flight. Darkness at the Edge of Time Children, when presented with a dime and a nickel, and asked to pick the one of greater value, will almost always pick the nickel. They assume that the nickel, which is larger than the dime, must be more valuable. The dime however, though smaller, is worth twice the nickel. Yet, size is not always one of the key factors in value or in usability, ask a man, he'll probably agree. Also, size is relative to the one that is looking at it. To us, the Earth is a large massive object floating in space, yet to someone viewing the Milky Way galaxy, it is barely even a speck, thus giving credit to 'good things to come in small packages.' However, not everything in a small package is good, and sometimes smaller, is worse than the large. At the edge of the galaxy, in a location that borders on the planes of reality and illusion, and bends the barriers of time, to exist in a spot that neither space nor time can touch, lays the pocket. A pocket of such small magnitude that an eye, either mortal or immortal, would pass over it even if it was a single black dot in a field of white. A pocket however of such density, that a black hole would be swallowed by the gravitational pull of the pocket. This pocket was millennia old, and contained within it the full sum of reality, and the vast emptiness of the void. It contained the intense light of life, and the overwhelming darkness of death. All the power of the multiverse was contained within, yet it was weak as a newborn kitten. This twisted amalgamation of all that was, all that is, all that could be, and all that that never would be, and never was, had never born. It had simply existed forever. From this were all things born, and to this would all things return. It was full, yet it hungered for more. Yet this isn't the worst part of all. For within this pocket, was a living entity, full of consciousness, and awareness. There was no spot in the galaxy it couldn't turn its attention to, and see all that transpired. At the moment, its attention was concentrated the planet of earth, and the actions of one of the self styled "Gods of Olympus." He sneered at the memories of these beings, and his children, all of which claimed to have created the universe. Fools! To think that they had actually had the audacity, or the ability to shape and form all of creation, the idea was laughable. Yet at the moment, the situation was to intriguing to be laughed at. The being, Cupid, within whom the Power of Love resided, had just stirred up a bee's nest. If this played out as he thought it would, the resulting chaos would destroy that world. And after all, what else would Chaos do, but desire more chaos?