Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2000 13:34:53 -0800 From: Rich Henderson Subject: Tell Me Why part 1 This story is completely fictional. Rich is a made up character and Kevin and the rest of the BSB are not neccesarily homosexual. And yata yata yata, dont read this if your under 18 or 21, lol, I'm not sure. Ok, this is my first real attempt at a story so dont rip it apart. The narrator of this story is Rich, a made up character. He's 6', well built, bright blue eyes and has brown/blonde hair. Hmm..Lets get on with the story I guess. :) "God...I've never..been so...I mean..happy doesn't even begin to describe this..This must be love...I'm 17...and I have love..", so many thoughts at once raced through my head that starlit friday night. It was probably the best moment of my naive life. It was the day when I first experienced love in its truest form...I made love to my best friend...my boyfriend.. my hero..the apple of my eye..I gave my virginity to Kevin..I know it may sound like a whole bunch of b/s to romantisize horniness..but it was..well...for me at least it was love. I loved Kevin. Kevin loved me. (As far as I knew) And no matter what tommorow holds, tonight was worth it all. Kevin - "Are you ok?" Rich (me) - (smiling)"I've never felt better babe" Kevin - "Ok..I'm gonna go..you know..*He smiles sheepishly*..faster..so brace yourself.." I gritted my teeth..not in pain..but in extreme pleasure. I gripped to sheets to keep from screaming. This made Kevin smile. Kevin - "I...mmm....close" I reached up and pulled him into a kiss as he released his...love..into me. I broke this kiss. Rich - "Kevin?" Kevin - "Yeah babe?" He moves out of me and pulls me into his embrace. Rich - "If it were possible.....I mean..I would" Kevin - "Spit it out....No pun intended" He smiled his million dollar smile Rich - "I dont know..I was just thinking..How...I'd love to be yours..you know..as in forever?" Kevin - "Umm...Your not asking me to marry you are you?" I couldn't figure whether he was entertained by the idea or shocked..in a bad way. Rich - "No..I mean..No not at all..I was just..thinking, thats all. Dont worry, I think a lot of weird things" I was so worried, I didn't even know what I was saying. I didn't even know if what I was saying made any sence or if Kevin was buying it. He didn't say anything, he kept his arm around me until I fell asleep. Until I fell asleep. Then it was gone. When I woke up I was alone. I checked the kitchen, maybe he was making breakfast, he was always doing that kind of thing. No, not in the kitchen...maybe he was at... He wasn't anywhere. He was gone. For the first few weeks I could do nothing but cry and lie in bed awake. I couldn't eat. Food made me sick. I couldn't watch tv. Tv made me sick. I couldn't talk to people. People made me sick. ~5 years later~ (I'm 23) "-But we are two words apart, cant re-" I clicked off the radio. Ashley - "HEY!" Ashley was by best friend for the last few years. She had helped me through my dark stage. She was the first person since Brian and Kevin that I had come out to. She helped me get my life in order and to stop worrying about that asshole. Although, she didn't know the asshole was one of the guys she admired most. Kevin Scott Richardson of the Backstreet Boys. She cliked the radio back on just as Kevins line came up. Rich - "Ugh, dont you get tired of this after a while? I mean...Really. Its kinda pathetic." Ashley - "Shut up! You know you love them. And...you have to love them..Because I'll kill you if..umm.." She looked nervous. Rich - "Spit it out." I flinched at Kevins lines coming out of my mouth. She didn't notice. Ashley - "Well, you know how it was my birthday last week?" Rich - "Hmm...no..no recollection at all." She pushed me playfully. Rich - "What about it?" Ashely - "Well......I HAVE 2 BACKSTREET TICKETS FOR THE MILLENIUM TOUR AND YOUR COMING WITH ME!!!" She was practically jumping up and down. Rich - "Sweetie...I hate to tell you but I have--" Ashley - "NO! Shut up! I did my research, I called your work, and your off for the next two weeks." Rich - "Ya right, I'm lucky if I'm off 2 days in a row." Ashley - "Ya, but not when your great aunt just died!" Rich - "I dont have a great-...Hey! You cant do that! They'll find out." Ashley - "Come on, just because you dont eat it doesn't mean you have to be a pussy!" I was shocked. Rich - "Ok..first of all...Eeeww..and I dont have a second of all, but I'm pretty sure its gonna be Eeeew. Anyways, you know I dont like that type of music and I'm not in the habit of surrounding myself with 13 year old girls who's rather knock me down than walk around me." Ashley - "I'll protect you, it'll be fun. Please, your my best friend and this is gonna be one of the most wonderful times in my life and I want you to be there. Please?" Rich - "Ugh, dont cry about it." She smiled. Ashley - "Is that a yes?" Rich - "No." She looked ready to burst into tears. Rich - "Its a 'I give in'." She gave me a big bonecrushing hug. Ashley - "Ok, the concerts in 3 days, I'm going with my cousin Kara on a cruise, so I'll just have to meet you then. Uh..I'll pick you up. Yeah, ok, gotta jet now hon, its 1 am, you kept me here all night." Rich - "Well, if I thought you'd leave sooner I would've gladly shown you the door." She gave me a kiss on the forehead than raced out the door. "This is gonna be weird", I thought to myself, "I mean, I dont want to see him. It might bring up old issues. I mean, I may have gotten over him, but I was still hurt by what he did to me. And what if he happens to glance my way, what then? Will he think I'm stalking him? No. Well, no because the chances of him seeing me were one in a million. Still, I'd be close to him, I'd hear his voice in person, I'd see him moving. Oh god, what have I gotten myself into? Well, I couldn't back down now. I'd just have to bear it." That was my last thought before drifting off to sleep. ~Day of the concert~ I started tonguing his nipple through his thin t-shirt Kevin - "Richy, stop moving so fast you hornytoad." He giggled at his comment. Rich - "Ok, fine. I'm sorry." I pretended to be offended and walked away I was just about to turn the door handle when-- Whoosh, I was 4 feet off the ground in Kevins arms. Rich - "Hey! Put me down! You know how much I hate this! Ugh!" I didn't really hate it, but the thing I did hate was being treated like a lady. I was 100% masculine manliness. I mean, I could bench press more he could anyways, I should be picking him up. He set me down on the bed and cuddled next to me. I loved that. That was his thing, he cuddled with me whenever he had the chance. I was like his personal pillow. Kevin - "Rich, wake up hon." Rich - "What? I am up silly!" Kevin - "Rich common we're gonna--" ____________________________________ Ashley - "--be late for the concert!" I was now fully awake. Ugh! Damn, I was dreaming. I was so mad at myself. How could I be fanstasizing about him of all people!? But then I realized it wasn't a dream, I mean it was, but it wasn't a fantasy dream. It was a flashback. That all had happened. I didn't know how I had remembered that I mean..I usually remembered things like that but..Not things involving Kevin. I mean..I thought that I forgot about him. Or at least what we had. It was the hardest thing to forget, but I guess that was a lie, I remembered everything although I chose not to think about it. What was happening to me?-- Ashley - "HELLO!, common!, NOW!" She threw what I assumed was my clothes for the concert at me and left the room. She was all giddy throughout the entire car ride. She wasn't normally so flashy with her teeny-bopper'esque but I guess I can understand. I felt a similar feeling. I was so anxious. Not anxious to get there, but anxious to get this thing over with. After hours of playing parking spot safari, shuffling through a maze of girl power adolesence, and getting past the ticket police, we were in what I guess was the waiting room. There was only like 50 girls and maybe 1 or 2 other guys here. Rich - "Are we early?" Ashley - "Only about 2 hours." She smiled. Rich - "Umm...May I ask why?" I was aggitated. I could've used the sleep. She flashed me this shiny gold card. I glanced it over. Rich - "Your kidding me?" Now I was worried, so much that I had to glance away to keep her from noticing. Ashley - "No way, I mean, this is why I was so excited! Do I look ok? Is my hair frumpy? Does my lipstick clash with my shirt buttons?" No way was I gonna go backstage with her. Rich - "Thats great, umm--", I pointed to a cafeteria area, "I'll wait there." Ashley -"No way! I mean..I know your not as fond of them as me..but damn, their still celebrities!" Rich -"Really, its ok, I'll just sit in there and when you come back you can tell me all about it." Ashley -"Umm...If your sure..OK!" She wasn't about to let me spoil her mood. I walked inside the cafeteria place, it was smaller than it looked. But it had vending machines. I got myself a diet sprite and a Mounds chocolate bar and sat down. I picked up a paper off the table and started to skim through. I was annoyed but not surprised that I couldn't read the paper. I mean I could see the words but I couldn't really think. I put my head down on the table. "Get out of my head Kevin..please". The words came out, but they were so weak that even I had trouble hearing them. I sat there with my head down for a while. Until I fell asleep. I awoke to someone clearing their throat loudly. Startled I jumped up. "Oh uh, sorry to wake you, but umm..", he smiled shyly, "Your kinda not supposed to be here." He was a blonde guy, tall as me, and...Oh god...ugh..as if things weren't screwed up enough. Nick - "Anyways, how did you get passed security?" Rich - "Oh umm...I'm so sorry..I was just waiting for my friend.." Nick - "Oh, was she at the concert?" Rich - "Huh? I mean, she's...uh..she went to the backstage signing thing." Nick looked just as confused as me. Nick - "Umm...that must be how you got in.." I looked at him questioningly. Nick - "Security stood by that door throughout the concert, you must have got here before them and they didn't notice you." He smiled. He seemed to be proud of his detective skills. "Oh yah, I'm Nick" He reached out his hand to me for a handshake. He was so cute, not that I had an interest in him, just..cute like a baby, or a puppy. I shook his hand. Rich - "I'm Richard..." I was still confused. "My friend was supposed to meet me before the concert." Nick - "I guess security thought she was using a story. We get a lot of that." Rich - "Yah, I can imagine." "Hey, whose your 'friend' ", the brown haired guy--NO--NO--Brian! He moved closer to us. I turned away swiftly. Nick - "Yah, I know he's kinda ugly, but its kinda rude to be repulsed at someone you just met." he joked. "Hey Bri, this is Rich. He kinda accidentally fell asleep in here during the backstage signing thing." Brian - "Accidentally huh?" After I had pulled my hat down a little and put my dark ray ban sunglasses on I turned to him. Rich - "No, I mean, my plan was to lewer you guys in here, steal your underwear, and sell them on the black market." Nick bursted out laughing. Brian - "Well, dont bother with Nick, he doesn't wear any." Nick playfully pushed Brian into the wall. Nick - "Yah, and whose fault is that? I mean, its kinda weird that you keep taking my boxers Bri, I mean..Dont think I dont know" Rich - "Umm...I guess I'll be going now." Brian - "Oh hey, you like Limp Bizkit?" Rich - "What? Umm...I guess why?" Brian - "Your hat." I was wearing a red yankees hat. Rich - "Oh, I just like the hat, thats all. I dont really follow up on celebrity trends." Nick - "Than why are you wearing Aj Mclean glasses?" Rich - "What? These are mine." Nick - "Hmm...Right over your head.." Rich - "Umm..ok...It must be that new disease thats going around" Nick - "What disease?" Rich - "I dont know, but its something to do with blondes, the more you hang around them, the more you think like them." (My hair was more brown than blonde) Nick - "Hey! I am so sick of blonde jokes!" Rich - "What are you gonna do about it?" Nick - "Well...I'll take those fancy smancy glasses" Rich - "Like hell you wi--" I would've finished the sentence if he didn't take my glasses as I was saying it. He threw them to Brian. Rich - "Hey! Careful! Those were specially made for me!" Brian - "Well excuse me, but even if I did break them, I could probably buy you like 50 ones just like i--" He froze as he looked at me. Oh shit...He recognizes me..I let myself go and I forgot hide my identity. Brian - "I...umm..no..right? I dont..Richy?" I was so panicked, I didn't even realize it but I was walking fast strait toward the door. I would've gone and not turned back but-- Brian - "Wait please." I turned around. Rich - "I know what this seems like but I can assure you its not what you think, my friend begged me to come and I would have said no but she made me come and I was only in that room just now because I was waiting for her to come back and I fell asleep and I...I dont know...But thats all I have to say. Believe what you want. Brian - "Whoa...Umm...No, I wouldn't think that. After what happened, I dont think you've come back to re-hook up with Kevin. But..now that your here, you cant just leave again." He seemed to be pleading with me. Rich - "Brian....I cant..I mean..I'm sorry..I know that you were--" Brian - "Am..Richard, I am your friend." Rich - "Ok, whatever, I know that your my friend and all but, you have to understand...I cant see him." Brian - "Running away from your problems doesn't make them go away, it just gives them time to become bigger and stronger. I should know." Rich - "How would you know?" Brian - "I see it in Kevin every day for the last 5 years." I was overwhelmed. With emotions, with thoughts, with confusion, with everything. I was almost trembling. Brian - "I know its a hard decision to make..but..I dont know...I'd just like to help you with it, I've know you for most of your life and you owe it to me. I mean, you shut me out of your life just like Kevin did to you." I was hurt. It was the truth. And it hurt me. Rich - "It wasn't because of--" Brian - "Dont bother, I understand all that, I havn't once hated you because of it. But I'm saying, you owe it to me not to walk away again. Even more than that you owe it to yourself. After I stood speachless for maybe 5 minutes, he spoke again. Brian - "Look, even if you dont see Kevin, I want us to be friends again." Rich - "I dont...I mean.." Brian - "Dont take this personaly, but I have to go." Rich - "Ya, I got to find Ashley now" Brian reached out and gave me a card with his number on it. "If you dont call me, I'll be very upset." He smiled. I dont know what made me do it, I'm not usually so emotional, but..I hugged him. He seemed pleased. I dont know what effect this is gonna have on my life, on Brians life, or on Kevins life..But..I think I'm going to listen to Brian. He's always been there for me, and I'm not gonna betray him again. ---Thats it for now, it might not be too good, but, I think I can do better next time. Its just I think the introductory story is the hardest one to do. Feedback would be appreciated if you want at richy@onebox.com lol, ya, my name is Rich, but hey, its my fantasy..so I get to be in it, lol.