Author's Note: Ok, the guys in the chat are making me post this... if
you think it sucks, go yell at them... if you think it's good... e-mail
By the way: Hi, I'm Willow.
"Justin? Justin? Yo JuJu-bee!"
Justin shook his head suddenly. "What?" he asked in surprise.
The other four members of the group, as well as the studio audience began
to laugh as the young man attempted to appear cool, while in reality he
had no idea what he'd just been asked.
Carson Daly grinned in his annoying way. "Missing your mommy over there little buddy?" he asked.
Justin laughed uneasily. "Pretty much, I kinda tuned out there. What'd I miss?"
"Well," Carson said, "Chris from Georgia was in the middle of about to ask you a question- you still there Chris?"
'Chris. That name again. Is everyone in the country named Chris?' Justin wondered.
"Oh, what's the question?" he asked pleasantly.
"Oh, hi. Ohmigosh I can't believe I'm talking to you!" the boy on the other end of the phone line gushed. Justin smiled, not unkindly, and waved at the camera.
"Hey Chris," he called out into his microphone. "How's it going man?"
Carson snickered almost imperceptibly and Justin fought to keep from shooting the VJ a dirty look. He was used to dealing with the catty nature of the TRL host, and only hoped he would still be on MTV long enough to see the day when Daly went off of the air for good.
"Anyway," Chris continued. "My question is- if you guys could have any question, you know, to not be asked by a reporter ever again... what would it be?"
Justin's grin widened in surprise. It wasn't often that he received a question that wasn't incredibly stupid. This one was only risky. He had to word his response carefully to avoid controversy.
"Well..." he began to say, but was interrupted by Chris's hyper babble.
"I know!" the older man cut in. "Justin's really sick of being asked if he's Michael Jackson and Puff Daddy's love child!"
"Oh hush old man," Justin sighed, rolling his eyes. "I guess, well there are a lot of questions I wouldn't mind not being asked again. I mean, how many times can a fella say his favorite color is blue?"
"Baby blue!" someone in the audience corrected, and the guys all laughed.
"See what I mean? Everyone knows this stuff."
"I know!" someone cut in excitedly.
"Chris get over it," Justin joked, semi-annoyed, then did a double take. "Lance?"
Lance stuck his tongue out at his younger friend. "I pay attention too sometimes ya know," he said. Someone off camera made the wrap-up motion at him, and he acknowledged it with a slight nod.
"Anyway," he continued. "I seem to remember one question that brings a louder groan from you than any other," he said pointedly, then mimicked, "Stop askin' me this!"
"Oh! Oh! I know," Justin said, catching on. "How the group got together! Dude! I am so sick of answering that question. We used to joke that we we're going to just say that we were all just magically formed."
"Well there's your answer Chris," Carson said. "With a little help from Lance. That okay?"
"Yeah sure! Thanks so much you guys. I love you Justin!"
Justin blushed. "Uh, thanks man," he said, trying, as always, to not appear just a little freaked that someone who would probably never know him thought they were his soul-mate.
"Bye dude!" Chris said suddenly, sensing Justin's discomfort.
"Bye Chris," the guys all chorused.
"Bye Chris," Carson finished, ending the phone call. "We've got to go on break now, but we'll be right back with your number one video, here on Wednesday's TRL."
As soon as the camera light was off, Carson began to snicker loudly.
"Jesus, what a Twink," he said, laughing.
Justin's head snapped over to the VJ and he looked at him incredulously for a few seconds before simply shaking his head and starting to take his mic off.
"Seriously," Carson pressed. "Doesn't it ever freak you out that all those queens want you?" Justin sneered and tried to ignore the other man. 'What kind of a moron is he?' Justin wondered. 'He may not be on camera, and his mic's off, but people can fucking hear him still.'
Chris on the other hand, was quick to rescue his friend from the awkward situation. "Dude," he said warningly to Carson. "You're out of line man."
"Geez, sorry," Carson said. "There's nothing wrong with the guy. I'm just glad I'm taken so some of them leave me alone now." The same stagehand waved at Nsync to hurry up and they exited the stage without further exchange.
In the van on the way back to the hotel, Justin was uncomfortably silent. Chris, with his usual excess energy, tried to cover for the blond man's silence, but it was to no avail.
Once inside the hotel suite that he and Chris were sharing however, Justin let loose.
"Where the FUCK does that jackass get off?" he growled angrily. "He's such a fucking prick. We KNOW we have gay fans. We're OKAY with it! Jesus!"
Chris shook his head, trying to soothe his friend. 'At least I know he's not a homophobe,' he thought guiltily. 'I could tell him.'
'You will not!' Chris's inner self maintained. 'You're a wimp and you know it.'
"Jus," he said finally. "We've known the guys an ass for what...five years? He's harmless."
"He's a fucking hypocrite. Every time we're on he obsesses about how we're the biggest crowd draw. Two days later he'll say the same thing about BSB! He makes fun of all of his fans. He's a bastard!"
"And Rosie O'Donnell claims all her kid listens to is us and Ricky Martin," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "It's the business we're in Jus."
"I know," Justin sighed. "It just gets to me some times." 'Especially when I realize the shit I'd get if people knew I loved you,' he thought bitterly.
"C'mon," Chris coaxed. "Let's watch some TV. We have a whole NIGHT off!"
Justin giggled despite his attempt to remain bitter. "Fine," he allowed. "But NO MTV!"
"All right," Chris agreed, finding the hotel's TV Guide channel. "oOoOoOo!" He crowed.
"What?" Justin asked warily.
"We get MuchMusic here!!!" Chris cried excitedly.
"Joy," Justin laughed. They settled down to watch.
Chris lay uncomfortably next to Justin on the big bed. 'Jesus!' he thought guiltily. 'You need not be thinking these things about him. He may be an adult now, but he's not a piece of meat. Enough men and women fantasize about him without throwing his friends into the mix. He sighed and watched as the video ended and the screen went back to Rick Campanelli, the Much Music VJ. It had been an hour since he had gotten up to "go to the bathroom," and had taken his pill. He was amazingly relaxed now, unable to move off of the bed, but not willing to allow himself to indulge in his fantasies.
Justin stiffened at Chris's sigh, refusing to wonder what a passion induced moan would sound like coming from the older man. Instead, he focused on cleaner thoughts. "What are you thinking about?" He asked.
"How hot Rick is, and how much I'd like to fuck him," Chris thought.
"What?" Justin cried out, sitting up straight in an instant. "Oh- you're joking," he said, laughing nervously.
"Fuck did I say that out loud?" Chris asked, trying not to pass out so he could run away. He backed up, but Justin caught his arm before he could bolt.
Justin's brow furrowed. "You're *not* Joking," he said, the question evident in his voice.
Chris choked out a laugh. "Of course I am!" He snickered. "Me, Chris? I'm always joking!" he pleaded, trying to convince Justin.
When Justin saw the fear in Chris's eyes, his jaw dropped. "No. No you aren't," he insisted. "Chris?" he asked, his voice small. "What's going on here?"
"I- I," Chris stuttered. He couldn't say it. Not now. Not like this. He didn't want to make Justin uncomfortable. He didn't want to make himself vulnerable like this. Shit. He had no choice now, did he? He couldn't lie, could he? "Justin," he began shakily. "I-I'm"
"I'm gay," Justin interrupted him. Chris let out the breath he'd been holding in a woosh.
"Yeah," he said shakily. "I guess you figured out what I couldn't say..."
"No Chris. I mean it. I- *I'm* gay," Justin repeated.
Chris's mind reeled. Nothing seemed to be making sense to him, the world was spinning before his eyes and he was hallucinating that Justin said he was gay. None of this was registering to him, so he did the only thing that registered To do... he passed out.