J o n a t h a n   A n d r e w   Y b a n e z

A U T H O R ' S B A B B L I N G

Okay, I know there are a lot of BACKSTREET BOYS story out there and most of them are centered on people having with crushes either BRIAN LITTREL, NICK CARTER or KEVIN RICHARDSON. I try to make this a little bit different from the usual with the celebrities themselves falling for the fictional character.

I admit that I am not a BACKSTREET BOYS fan although some of their songs really caught my attention. But I am, indeed, a very big fan of BRIAN LITTREL and KEVIN RICHARDSON, but since it was BRIAN LITTREL who had a heart problem, I think it was best to center this story around him. No, I don't think that he is gay, but it would certainly be interesting if he is.

D I S C L A I M E R :

I would like to remind you that this is just a part of the imagination of the author and none of these events ever happen. Any similarity between events in the story and situations in somebody else's life is purely and absolutely coincidental, accidental or, just simply, impossible. This story doesn't state anything about BRIAN LITTREL's sexuality or choice of lifestyle, implicitly or explicitly. Remember this is just a composition based totally on the imagination of the author.

This story contains a homosexual premise and has homosexual undertones. If you are a minor, you know the rules. Please don't read this and find something more suitable for you age. But if you reach the age of majority, you can come back. If you're a bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay. I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open mind.

Please enjoy!!!

Jonathan Andrew Ybanez

T E N   T H I N G S

	See a rainbow at dawn
X	Taste the first snowflake of winter
X	Go to Disney World
	Flash someone from a car
	See the dawn
	Be a star
X	Touch a snake
X	Make someone smile
	Talk to God
	Kiss my soulmate

C h a p t e r 1

"Okay, tell me again! Could someone PLEASE explain to me why I have to be bound in this inhuman prison one more time?" I asked as I waved my arms, flabbergasted.

My body was wrapped in cast for the second time around. Uncomfortable prosthetics once again hugged my arms and my legs. We were re-shooting a clip of our video "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely". This was supposedly one of the first clips in our video, after the gurney shot. Ironically, now, however, we are shooting it last.

"Brian, don't be such a crappy asshole. And just follow instructions. You know why we have to do this all over again." Kevin scolded and warned me. "If you hadn't been such an air-headed prick in the first day of shooting, we would have been in vacation right now. I would have already hit the snowy slopes of Aspen yesterday!"

As he began to walk away, he looked back at me and snickered wildly. "By the way, do you know you look so pathetic and stupid in that cast right now?"

"OH THIS IS THE PART WHEN I LAUGH, RIGHT?" I said in dry sarcasm. "OKAY HERE IT IS, HAHAHAHA!!! THAT'S SO FUNNY!!! I COULD JUST DIE LAUGHING" I gave him a bitter, ridiculing laugh.

"Oh, so it's my fault now!" Then, I asked in mixed indignation and amusement. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. "Shouldn't Nick be in my place? I mean, he used to be the mummy in our 'Backstreet's Back!' video. He looks much better under wraps. And besides it was because of him I had laughed during the initial taping of the hospital sequence."

"Oh, no! You can't wrap me in tissue again, I don't like to feel like a sausage anymore." He whined. Then he blurted "Besides, you do look great in white. Which reminds me when you get married, you should wear the gown."

I threw him my pillow as I shouted in mocked anger. "Nick!!! I hate you!!!"

"Yeah, and I hate you even more!" He threw the pillow back, laughing and sticking his tongue out at me.

"Okay guys! Let's just get this thing on the road. The sooner we get this done, the better." The director ordered, clapped his hands as glanced at his wristwatch, impatiently and restlessly. He went over his seat and called Nick. "And, by the way Blondie,.."

"The name is Nick!"

"Blondie, Nick, idiot... whatever,... who cares,... and all those crappy, shitty politically incorrect words." The director waved his hand in front of Nick's face, as if belittling him. "Another wisecrack out from your big whiny yap and you'll be the one wearing a cast for the rest of the spring break."

"OHHHHHhhhh!!!" Nick whined and complained. "But he looked so good to be teased right now."

"Nick, not another peep from you, or else." The director glared at him, with nothing but total disdain, irritation and contempt. "And I'm not kidding."

"Yeah, Nick, don't whine!" I shot back, laughing. "Don't tell me you haven't over the 'voice' thing yet, hahahah."

"Brian, I hate you!!!" Nick was angry now. He just hated to be teased because of his rather shrieking, high and whining voice.

"If you hadn't made me laugh during the original shoot," I glared at him. "I wouldn't be here right now."

"Hey!!!" Nick cried out. "It wasn't my fault, if Howie didn't dare me to do that funny face, you wouldn't have smiled during the hospital scene! Blame him, not me!"

"God, could somebody throw Nick out of this room!" I rolled my eyes upward. "I can't concentrate with a noisy, chattering dumb blonde idiot running around the place."

"Looks who's talking!!!" Nick retaliated. "You're also a dumb blonde, moron!!!

"Idiot!!!" I retorted back

"Okay guys, cool it." Kevin interfered. "Nick, quit whining and just stay in the sidelines. Brian, just do what you're told and, like I said, don't such a crappy asshole. I have a plane to catch, so let's get this show on the road."

"Hey! I don't like this place." I answered. "Hospitals make me sick. It reminds me of my operation."

"WELL, TOUGH LUCK, BRIAN!!! You know that it is your fault why WE have to be in here in the first place." Kevin pointed his finger at me in accusation, his eyebrows are starting to knit together now. "If you hadn't crack a smile on the sound stage, the hospital scene would have been way over before they deconstruct the place!"

"Kevin, don't YOU DARE point your finger at me!!! And don't give me that "eye-brow" knitting thing either. You'll look like Frankenstein if you keep on doing that." I told him in a warning tone then said as I glared at Nick. "It's not that easy, you know. I mean with a blonde idiot running around the place, who can concentrate!"

"HEY!!! I RESENT THAT STATEMENT!!!" Nick gave me one of his horrendously high pitched whine.

"Nick, stop whining." Kevin ordered Nick and sarcastically added. "And just get out of this room so the STAR can concentrate."

Nick's face suddenly crumpled as he stood up to go to the door.

"Adolescent!!!" I laughed scornfully

"Rat boy!!!" Nick snorted as he left the room.

"Whiner!!!" I retorted.





"DUMB BLOND!!!" Nick screamed.

"EVEN DUMBER BLOND!!!" I shot back.


Kevin came closer to me and requested in the softest voice that he can possibly create, without begging. "Now Brian, let's just get this over okay? I am tired. I know that you are tired. I mean everybody in this set is dead tired. Look at the director! Even the director is getting tired and he is running out of patience! Believe me, that's not a good thing. " He pointed out. Then taking a deep breath, he gave me a really pathetic sigh. "I don't think I can handle this anymore. Let's just get this over with, okay"

Then, Kevin turned away from me and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He continued his 'oh so' boring and tiring sermon in an exhausted and hoarse voice. "All you have to do his just lie down and sleep, you don't have to do anything, you can just act like a vegetable,... and well,... vegetate. You don't have to over work yourself with the emotions. All you have to do is lie down and act as if you are comatose, do you get that? Do you think you can handle that?"

He walked away from the bed and spoke to himself, in a voice so small that I may not hear it. "Don't tell me that you can't do that. Because if you can't do that very simple task, then you'll even be a dumber blond than Nick!"

"I HEARD THAT!!!" I shouted at him

"YEAH, I HEARD THAT, TOO!!!" Nick shouted from the hallway.

"NICK, PLEASE LEAVE THIS HOSPITAL!!!" Kevin screamed to the top of his lungs, as the nurses in the corridors shockingly peered into my room.

"Now, where were we?" Kevin asked, a little bit more irked than before. "Oh yes, do you think that's easy for you to handle?"

"Easy for you to say." I replied, in insolence and disrespect. I was already waving my arms up in the air. "All you had done in this video is get drunk with some beer, and act insincerely emotional and melodramatic, then you're done with your stupid piece! I mean you don't have to be locked up in this hospital and be stitched up in these uncomfortable cast and prosthetics!"

"DAMNED IT, I should have followed Howie's advice and missed this tedious video shoot. But noooo!!! I had to listen A.J.'s suggestion and become a glorified babysitter for you two morons. I have to listen to the shit heads!!!" Kevin shouted angrily as he waved his arms in the air. "Why did I have to listen to Dumbo, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb!!!"

"Who?" I asked, confused.

"A.J., Nick and you." Kevin replied in exasperation. "Dumbo, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb?"

"Okay, okay. I know A.J. looks like Dumbo." I asked him. "So, tell me again. Between me and Nick, who's Dumb again?"

"Lord give me strength, forgive me for my sins and spare me from hell for what I am about to do this fucking bastard!!!" Kevin looked up the ceiling and cursed under his breath. Clutching his tightened fist and lowering his head, Kevin bit his lips as he as said in a tired whispered. "Lord, I ask for strength and your forgiveness."

"Kevin, you're absolutely not making any sense here." I laughed at him mockingly. "Maybe you SHOULD dye your hair BLONDE."

He, then, went near the bed and grabbed me by the collar. Breathing deeply and erratically, he shouted explosively like a spewing volcano. "LOOK HERE, LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME WELL, RAT BOY. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN A REAL CAST, DON'T DARE ME TO PUNCH YOU, RAT BOY!!! BECAUSE I AM REALLY LOSING MY PATIENCE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU HEAR ME, RAT BOY???!!! DON'T DARE ME, RAT BOY!!! DON'T YOU EVER DARE ME!!! YOU HEAR ME???!!!"


"Just punch him and be done with it." The director said in exasperation. "This may be the only thing that would shut him up! And besides we just need him to be comatose for the whole scene. If he's out cold, then he doesn't need to act comatose!""

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Later after the shoot, Nick met me on the staircase. "So, how did you do?"

"I think I did pretty well." I smiled as I walked down the hallway. "But they decided that it was best to remove the cast and the prosthetics, since I was already raving like a mad man in there. But still I really did my best in there."

"You know, your plan to tease Kevin was sheer genius, hahahaha." Nick laughed out loud.

"Exactly what I had intended to do." I gave Nick a devilishly wide and evil grin.

"I couldn't believe that you were able to crack Mr. 'I'm so Cool and Mature.' I mean that takes great talent!" Nick, gushing with sincere admiration, was now laughing his head off. "I wish I have your talents. I wish I could give Kevin a run for his money."

"Well... Yes, I still got it. I am still the king!!!" I laughed smugly, raising my fist in the air in a victorious pose. "I mean look at Kevin, the nurses nearly had to sedate him after I called him a deranged old man. They almost had to check his blood pressure, just to make sure he won't die of a stroke!"

"You're just pure evil, man." Nick laughed his head-off. "Just pure cold, soulless evil. I wish I was there to see him."

"You missed the show?" I looked at him. "Boy, did you missed I half of your life!"

"You know you should thank A.J. for this." Nick grinned. "He was the one who urged Kevin to supervise the video shoot."

"Well, too bad for A.J." I shrugged. "He would have loved to be here."

Nick replied. "Well, bully for him."

"Where's he right now anyway?"

"He had to go to Prince Edward Island with his parents."

I stopped dead on my tracks. The words Prince Edward Island hit me like a ton of bricks. "Prince Edward Island, have I heard that place before?" I thought to myself. "Why does that place sound so familiar?.." I thought intensely for a moment and realized it. "Of course, my dream!"

"Brian..." Nick waved his hand in front of my face. "Earth to Brian, earth to Brian... Calling for Space Cadet Brian Littrel, are you there?"

I was able to regain my thoughts. "Did you say something, Nick?"

"Well, you space out for a while, I was wondering if anything was wrong with you?" Nick looked at me with concern.

"I was just thinking what I would do this spring break." I lied.

"Brian, don't lie to me." He rolled his eyes. "You're not a very good liar, you know."

"I guess it's true." I looked at him, creased my forehead and thought. "Damned, I can really play practical jokes on people but why am I such a incompetent liar."

"So what were you REALLY thinking anyway?" Nick inquired.

"You know for a dumb blonde, you're not so dumb after all. Just kidding." I jabbed him in the rib cage and became silent for a while. I decided to tell him everything. "Okay, I have just been so tired lately because of some recurring dream that I had since I was twelve."

"Would you like to tell me about it?" He asked in earnest.

"You wouldn't understand." I told him

"Try me."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Do you believe in soul mates?"

"Well, it's kind of romantic to believe in it." Nick answered. "But it's not too realistic to dream of those stuff anymore. It's like wishing for Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny or, even, an honest politician to be real, I mean they're all just fictional characters. It really difficult to get your hopes up, you'd just be disappointed in the end."

"Well, somebody didn't get what was on his Christmas Wish List last Christmas." I said dripping with sarcasm as I jabbed Nick in the ribs.

"Well, haven't you tried to be so good all year round only to get nothing from Santa but a lump of coal?" he said defensively.

"I'm sorry, I was only joking, Nick." I apologized, then quipped. "But aren't you old enough to stop believing in Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy?"

"BRIAN!!!" Nick whined.

"Sorry, Nick, I just couldn't resist it. Oh and I am sorry about the lump of coal, too. I was the one who placed it in your sock, hehehe" I snickered.

I thought to myself. "Nick, though is a good kid, is still a kid nevertheless. I guess there are still immaturity issues this guy needs to straighten out, I think I should have a talk with this guy in the very near future."

I smiled and then it faded as my facial expression changed to a more serious tone now. "I know it's difficult to believe in soul mates but if you have a dream more than once since you were twelve, you'd really think otherwise. I guess, I try not to believe in soul mates it does give you a feeling of security that someone out there is waiting for you, somehow, never giving up on hope that you will eventually come someday."

I looked at Nick. By now the expression on his face was just a big question mark, and not just that particularly dumb blonde look. He really didn't get what I was talking about. So, I decided to change the subject. "So where you heading this spring break? A.J has already gone to Prince Edward Island. Kevin had decided to go skiing at Aspen. Howie is looking forward for Mexico."

"Well, not really sure where I am heading right now." Nick answered. "But my mom said that she's taking me to the Caribbean for a week or so. And after that I am scotch-free and on my own, probably leave for Europe for the remains of the spring break. How about you, what are your plans this coming vacation? Are you going somewhere or just going to stay in Florida?"

"Me? I haven't really mapped out my plans for a spring break vacation. But if nothing ever comes out, I think I will just vege out on the couch and rot." I giggled hysterically. "I guess that's the best way to be lazy this vacation."

"Aren't you the lazy one!" Nick said. "At least do something useful. Or just go to Fort Lauderdale, and do something aside from being a couch potato."

"Hey, I'm tired." I said as I rolled my eyes. "I should have the right to be lazy."

"Think of your time well-spent." Nick argued. "If you don't want to do something productive, at least see the world or something. Don't take anything for granted, Brian! This chance will never come back again."

"No way!" I said.

"Well, suit yourself! Anyway, I have to go now. Mom's probably waiting for me. We have to leave for the Bahamas tomorrow." Nick started to run towards the exit. "And I still have to do my packing."


"Shhhh!!! Sir, do you know that this is a noise-free zone?" A passing orderly hushed me. She was about thirty-five years old, not so tall and had brown hair. She continued. "This is a hospital. I would like to ask you to lower your voice."

"I'm so sorry." I apologized.

"Hey, you're Brian Littrel, aren't you?" She said as she looked closer at my face. "You ARE Brian Littrel. Mr. Littrel, I am so sorry for being so uncouth to you." she started her litany of apologies. "I swear, if I have know that it was you,..."

I interrupted her, raising my hand as a signal that it was certainly no problem. "Absolutely no biggie. Hey you were just doing your job."

"Mr. Littrel, would you be so kind to give my daughter an autographed picture of yourself?" She asked me. "My young daughter, Laney is such a big fan of yours, since you first came out with your first song! By the way, I am Mrs. Lawrence."

"Sure, but I don't usually carry a picture of myself everywhere." I told her.

"That's okay." She smiled but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. "Maybe next time, perhaps."

She started to walk away and left me standing on the hallway. "Wait, Mrs. Lawrence!!!" I called out to her. "If you could give me your address, I could send the picture to your house."

"That's a splendid plan!" Her eyes were positively gleaming now. As she reached inside her pocket, she told me "Wait, let me get a pen and a piece of paper. Would you be so kind to hold these notebooks for me?"

"Sure, no problem." I said as I received the notebooks, trying to balance them on my arms. "You know these sure look so heavy and, opps!!!

With a very loud and tremendous crash, her notebooks toppled from shaking arms and impacted down on the gleaming hospital floor. I immediately stooped down to pick-up the large notebooks. As I reached notes and papers scattered on the floor, I noticed a piece of loose leaf neatly typed with the name "TEVYN WINTERS" in bold letters.

I was dumbfounded and shocked. "Tevyn Winters..." I thought in awe and fear. "TEVYN WINTERS...

"My dream..."


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