J o n a t h a n   A n d r e w   Y b a n e z

A U T H O R ' S B A B B L I N G

Okay, I know there are a lot of BACKSTREET BOYS story out there and most of them are centered on people having with crushes either BRIAN LITTREL, NICK CARTER or KEVIN RICHARDSON. I try to make this a little bit different from the usual with the celebrities themselves falling for the fictional character.

I admit that I am not a BACKSTREET BOYS fan although some of their songs really caught my attention. But I am, indeed, a very big fan of BRIAN LITTREL and KEVIN RICHARDSON, but since it was BRIAN LITTREL who had a heart problem, I think it was best to center this story around him. No, I don't think that he is gay, but it would certainly be interesting if he is.

D I S C L A I M E R :

I would like to remind you that this is just a part of the imagination of the author and none of these events ever happen. Any similarity between events in the story and situations in somebody else's life is purely and absolutely coincidental, accidental or, just simply, impossible. This story doesn't state anything about BRIAN LITTREL'S sexuality or choice of lifestyle, implicitly or explicitly. Remember this is just a composition based totally on the imagination of the author.

This story contains a homosexual premise and has homosexual undertones. If you are a minor, you know the rules. Please don't read this and find something more suitable for you age. But if you reach the age of majority, you can come back. If you're a bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay. I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open mind.

Please enjoy!!!

Jonathan Andrew Ybanez

T E N   T H I N G S

	See a rainbow at dawn
X	Taste the first snowflake of winter
X	Go to Disney World
	Flash someone from a car
	See the dawn
	Be a star
X	Touch a snake
X	Make someone smile
	Talk to God
	Kiss my soulmate

C h a p t e r 2

Still, staring at the piece of loose-leaf like it was some kind of relic, I was dumbfounded and shocked. I thought in awe and fear. "Tevyn Winters..."


"My dream..."


"Mr. Littrel, this is my home address." She gave me a piece of paper. "But if you find it too difficult to find my house, you can just send it here at the hospital. I would be eternally grateful."

"Mrs. Lawrence..."

"Yes, dear." She answered, then carefully looked at my face. "What's wrong, you looked like you've seen a ghost."

"Oh?..." I said as I regained my composure. I wondered how bizarre my facial expression must have looked a while earlier. I asked the orderly. "Is there a certain Tevyn Winters confined in this hospital right now?"

"I shouldn't talk about any of the patients' condition with anyone." She said in hushed voice. "After all, it's hospital policy to keep everything, from the patients' names to their conditions, highly confidential. This might..."

"But I think I know this guy." I interrupted her. Then using gestures with my hand, I started describing his looks frantically. "Is he around my age, having straight dirty blond hair and green eyes?"

"I don't know, there are a lot of patients here." She looked in concern. "This person must be really be important to you. You looked positively worried about this guy. I don't know but,..."

"DOES HE HAVE LEUKEMIA???!!!" I interrupted her frenetically, already shouting.

"Wait, let me check with the nurse's station." She said as she went towards a small group of nurses.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Lawrence came back with a face full of mixed emotions, I couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad. "I have good news and bad news." She said as she bit her lip.

"The good news, please."

"The good news is he may well be the blond, green-eyed person you were looking for. And he's also about your age, which means,..."

"And the bad news??" I was full of suspense, interrupting Mrs. Lawrence once again.

"The bad news is,... well,.." She said in hesitation.

"Well, the bad news is?" I urged her. I could barely hide my excitement and tension.

She bowed her head down as she said. "You are right about his condition too. Tevyn Winters has leukemia... and, at present, it's already in stage four of his cancer condition. He has also rejected treatment, but that's all the information I could give you."

"Why is that?"

"For one thing, he's out from this city. He's not even from Florida." Mrs. Lawrence looked at me silently. "From what I could gather, I think he's on vacation right now. If my sources are right, he came from the Canada. To be precise, I think from Toronto, Ontario. Would you believe he had an attack when he went to Disney World? Poor kid!!!"

"Toronto!!! Same as my dream." I thought excitedly. I asked Mrs. Lawrence in an eager yet earnest voice. "Could I see him?"

"I could accompany you to his room, but it may not going to be a pretty sight." She continued to look down as we started walking along the hallway. "After all, people with terminal cases are not the best picture of health."

"That's okay." I took a deep breath. "I think I can take it.

With Mrs. Lawrence accompanying me to Tevyn's room, a cocktail of emotion flooded me. I was happy to finally be able to get some answers. To able to know if we had the same dreams hitting our minds for quite sometime now, to be able to have a sigh of relief of some sort. But I was also in fear, what if... I don't even want to think about it.

"Here we are." Mrs. Lawrence said as she stopped in front of room 552. "I hope you are ready for this."

"I am." I took a deep breath and thought. "Or at least I hope I am."

"Hey, Terry!!!" another orderly called out to Mrs. Lawrence. "Could you come here for a moment, I think Mr. Johnston needs some help here. His oxygen supply seems to be low already. I may need your assistance if I have to change it."

"Mr. Littrel, why don't you go in first." She motioned me. "I will go in a while later."

"Is it safe to go in there?" I asked cautiously, after all this is a hospital.

"Of course, it's safe. Leukemia isn't contagious." She urged me. "And besides, I think a visit from a celebrity like you might just lift up his spirits.

I knocked at the door, and entered the room. Inside, there were two beds, separated by a heavy green silk curtain. A sleeping young blonde man occupied the first bed, although I could not see the occupant of the other bed. The curtain blocked my view.

The young man couldn't be older than twenty-five but due to his poor health conditions, his body had deteriorated and handsome face had became pale and was drained of all life. There were several machines and cables hooked and pasted all over his body. Indeed, he was a pitiful sight. I approached him and touched his arm. I stooped down beside his ear and inquired, in a very small voice. "Are you Tevyn Winters?"

There was no respond.

"He's probably sleeping." I thought. "He does look so exhausted."

I looked around and examined the machines carefully. As I observed the various equipments, I realized that one of the machines is displaying a flat line. I looked back at him, the guy was not breathing. Though my heart was beating like a thousand drums, I tried to be as calm as possible and I promptly sprang into action. As briskly and placidly as I possibly could, I walked towards the nurses' station.


"Sir, please calm down. I will send a doctor a immediately." One of them told me, while another one went over to one of the shelves to retrieve some files. Another nurse lifted the microphone and announced over the P.A. system. "Dr. Macmillan, Code Red, Room 552. Dr. Macmillan, Code Red, Room 552."

"The Doctor will be on his way." She told me as she stood up to get some medical equipment. "Please, remain calm, sir. We will do our best."

Together with a couple of nurses, she went out of the counter and walked hastily but silently towards Tevyn's room. I followed behind them, walking anxiously and with fear. I don't really understand what was happening but I am sure that something horribly wrong has happened. By the time I reached room, there were a team of doctors and nurses, inside.

"WE DEFINITELY HAVE A FLATLINER HERE..." I heard someone shouted from inside the room. "FLATLINER..."








After hearing that, I decided to push my way into the frantic and frenetic crowd. But before I could even enter the doorway someone pulled me out of the sea of people. Puzzled, I looked behind me who it was who drag me from the mob.

"Mrs. Lawrence??!!!" I was surprised to see her. "Let me go I have to go in, I have to see him."

"Mr. Littrel, it's best that you stay outside." She advised me. "The people inside the room are already tense, they don't need one more to freak everyone. Please, don't go in."

"But he might..."

"They will try their best, believe me." She squeezed my hand for encouragement. "They will not let him go without a fight!"

"But I need..."

"Please, Bryan, I don't think it would best if you go in there."

Sadly, I have to stay outside. "Will he live? Will he be okay?" I asked myself, however, I can not answer the question.

After a 15 minutes, the nurses and doctors came out. Their faces where not exactly encouraging. One by one, they came out of the room, without too much gusto on their part. Frantic, I approached the Doctor. "Dr. Macmillan, how is he?"

The doctor took one look at me and bowed down and shook his head wearily. "I'm sorry, sir, we tried our best, it was just his time. It's such a shame for someone so young." He looked at me regretfully and asked. "I am really sorry. Are you a relative?"

I didn't answer Dr. MacMillan. I couldn't answer him. I was way too much in shock to do anything, much less answer any of his questions. Dazed and spent, I walked passed the doctor and the nurses. I entered the room, only to be welcomed by even more sad and broken faces of the medical team. The doctor must have presumed that I was relation or a friend because he motioned the nurses to leave me alone as I approached the bed.

I walked in the room only to find a sheet-covered body lying on the bed. Losing all my controls, I cried and cried. There was still so much I wanted to ask him, to get to know him. Now, I am left in the darkness with his death. I have no more chance to find out about my dreams. I will never get my answers.

I helplessly looked down on the bed and cried my heart out. I have never felt so powerless in my life. I have never thought that life could be so meaningless and futile. As cruel and selfish as this may sound, I was not really mourning the death of the person. I mean I barely had the time to get to know him, to start with. I was, however, grieving over the fact that I will never understand his role on my dreams. Fate can be so cruel, just when I thought I would get the answers, Death comes knocking on Tevyn Winters' life.

I heard the bathroom door swing open behind me. "I'm so sorry for his death." A gentle, soft but rather rough young manly male voice said to me, giving me his sympathies for my loss. "That guy over there, was he a close friend of yours?"

I didn't turned around because I was too shocked and too tired to do anything. I just stood there and shook my head. "No,.." With a small and exhausted voice, I replied emotionlessly. "He was the one who could have help find the truth. He was the key to my dreams."

"What?" The boy asked, obviously confused with what I said.

"Oh, nothing. Just blabbing something." I murmured as wiped the tears off my eyes and approached the bed. I sat on the bed, beside the body and stared at the sheet-covered cadaver. "It's just he could have done so much."

"Well, maybe he would have, but quite frankly, I don't personally know the guy, so..." The boy voice trailed off as he walked towards the next bed behind the curtain. "I mean, he was already like this when I arrived here three days ago."

He paused, and added, thoughtfully though quietly. "If it's any consolation, I think he's better off that way, I've heard he had been in a coma for almost four months already. Better this way, than living like a vegetable."

I didn't listen to the guy anymore as he just continued blabbering. I just silently stared at his mortal remains. "Why did this had to happen? Is Fate teasing me? Is this how Fate takes her revenge? She must be laughing her butt off right now." I thought remorsefully and bitterly. "Why do I feel like Kevin right now?"

"Well, the guy was right, though." I though deeply for a second. "I mean why should he suffer like a vegetable. It's better this way."

I decided that I could do nothing more in this place, after all, Tevyn is already dead. And it is true that dead men tell no tales. I stood up and was ready to leave the door. Midway towards the exit, I stopped and decided to take one more look on Tevyn Winters, just for my memory.

"I should take one last look at him." I thought silently. "I just want to remember him, in one way or the other."

I walked back to the bed and lifted the covers. There, Tevyn had lain. The blond guy who claimed to be my soul mate in my dreams. He changed a little bit from the little kid in my dream, though there were some present characteristics: the cat-like eyes, the straight blond hair. Then I realized something significant was missing.

"WAIT A MINUTE!!! WHERE'S THE DEEP SCAR ON HIS FOREHEAD???!!!" I thought with eyes wide shocked and opened. Intensely I searched all over his forehead, there was none. "WHERE'S THE DEEP SCAR???!!! WHERE'S THE DEEP FUCKING SCAR???!!! THIS ISN'T TEVYN WINTERS!!!"

"This isn't Tevyn Winters..." I whispered in confusion. "He's not the one..."

I felt faint and tired. My mouth got drier than cotton and my breath became shallow. My mind, suddenly, was getting vague and cloudy. I realized that this guy isn't the one. He isn't Tevyn Winters. "DAMNED." I shouted. "HOLY FUCK!!! THIS IS NOT TEVYN WINTERS!!! DAMNED, THIS ISN'T TEVYN WINTERS!!!"

As I finished my sentence, the guy on the other side of the room quickly shoved the curtain aside and asked. "Somebody called me?"

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