Date: Sun, 07 Oct 2001 03:52:21 +0200 From: Dannii Ree Subject: "the love we have" chapter 22 Disclaimer: Don't know, don't want to imply... don't read if you're not at least 18 or if it is not allowed to view such material in your area... this is fiction!!! Chapter 22 by Dannii Later that day, when JC was asleep on the couch in the livingroom and Lynn was back from shopping, Justin went upstairs into his room to see what classes he had the next day. His gaze roamed over the schedule, and suddenly he noticed something. "Oh no. Shit!" He shouted when he realized what he had forgotten. "Shit, shit, shit!" "Justin, honey? Is something wrong?" He heard his mother call from downstairs, and he called back "No mom, everything's fine, I just forgot something. Nothing bad." , a small voice inside his head said. He sat down on his bed heavily and thought hard, and then, the next moment, he remembered something. "That's it!" He called and looked at his watch. "Quarter past five, perfect." He put his purse and a sweatshirt in his shoulder bag, since he didn't know how long he would stay out, and jumped down the stairs to search for his mother. He found her in the kitchen, making dinner. "Mom, can I borrow the car for a while?" He asked while stealing one of the carrots she was preparing. She looked at him curiously. "The car? Where do you want to go, honey?" She wanted to know. "I have to drive to college, I forgot something really important. I really need to go, mom, please. I'll drive safe, I promise, and the way to school is really easy to drive and to find. Please?" He looked at her with puppy eyes, and she sighed. "Fine. But drive carefully, okay? And don't stay out too long!" He smiled brightly and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks mom. I promise to be careful, and I won't be out too long, I think. When Josh wakes up, can you tell him that I'll be back soon?" He waited for Lynn's nod before he went out of the kitchen and grabbed the keys for the car from the shelf in the hall. "See you later, mom!" He called and left the house to drive to college. ********** It was ten minutes to six when Justin arrived at the parking lot in front of the college. Normally it was cramped with cars, but now it was nearly empty, just a few lonely cars were standing there. He climbed out of the car and looked around, trying to figure out where he had to go. After a few seconds of thinking, he went to the main building and entered it. He went straight to the notice-board and found what he was looking for. "Room 116" he said to himself and went to search for it. Just one minutes later he was where he wanted to be. He peeked inside the room and saw that some people were already standing around, waiting. He looked for the blond-haired boy he was searching for and saw him sitting in a corner of the room, alone, reading a book. Justin smiled and walked over to him. "Hey", he said softly when he was standing in front of the boy. Lance looked up and his eyes became big as saucers when he saw who was standing there. "Justin? What- what are you doing here?" he stuttered. His face became red instantly. Justin smiled at him. "Can I sit down?", he asked and took the seat next to Lance when he nodded. There was a moment of silence, then Lance asked "Are you here to join the chorus?" "No", Justin answered and laughed slightly. "No. I came here to say that I'm sorry that I wasn't in class today. I know you promised to reserve me a seat, and I'm really sorry that I couldn't make it. But first I overslept, and then my mom said that she had to go out, and asked me if I could stay home to look out for Josh, cause he still doesn't feel to good..." he took a deep breath, "and well, I didn't want to leave him home alone, so.. I'm really sorry." Lance looked at him in disbelief. "You came here just to tell me you're sorry? You're kidding me, right?" Justin shook his head. "No! I'm not kidding you! I'm really sorry, and I hope you accept my apology." Lance still didn't look very convinced, and Justin sighed. "Why don't you believe me, Lance? Why should I lie to you?" He sighed again as Lance bowed his head. "Lance?" "Because nobody wants to have something to do with me. And why should you be different? Especially when you are so popular?" "Popular?" Justin shouted and smiled apologetically when the other people in the room looked at him critically. "I'm not popular. Why would you think that?" He heard Lance snort. "But you *are* popular, Justin. I mean, you're friends with JC Chasez, one of the best looking and nicest guys here at college. And you're so nice, too, and very good looking..." he broke up, flushing even more than before, and Justin grinned slightly. "You think I'm good looking?" "Yes, Justin. I think so. And I'm not the only one." Lance closed his eyes and waited for the next question he was sure would come. "Are you... you know..." Justin hesitated. "Gay? Is that the word you're searching for?" Lance wanted to know. "Yes", Justin answered, now blushing like Lance. "Yes, I am gay." Lance admitted. "So, now you know it, and you can run away and tell your friends. Or wait, I bet they know already, cause everybody seems to know it. I'm surprised that you didn't know before." Justin shook his head slowly. "No, I didn't know. And why should I run away? This is stupid!" Lance looked at him incredulous. He couldn't believe that Justin wasn't disgusted with him. "That's all you have to say?" he asked. "You aren't disgusted?" Justin swallowed hard. He didn't really know how to say what he wanted to say, so he just began. "Lance... I... I'm... I mean... Shit, why is this so hard?" He looked Lance in the eyes and cleared his throat. "I think I'm gay, too." This was the last thing Lance had expected Justin to say, and he was so surprised that his book fell on the floor with a loud *bang*. He couldn't believe what he just had heard. "You are... you... too? And what do you mean with *I think*?" Justin smiled at Lance's confusion. Now that he had said it out aloud, for the first time ever, he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. "Well... I'm pretty sure that I am gay. I mean, before I came here, I never was attracted to a boy, but now..." He stopped as Lance interrupted him. "You're in love with JC, right?" Now it was his turn to smile when he saw the face Justin made. "Don't worry, it's not so obvious. It's just, that, well, the way you talked to him when I was at your home, and how your face lit up when you saw him... At first I thought it was just like a brotherly love, you know? That you are best friends. But now as you say it... And I mean, he's really good looking. You two would make a sweet pair." "You think so?" Justin beamed. "Really?" He sighed dreamily. "He says that he likes me, too. *That* way, I mean. And... well, we're not together, not yet. But soon..." He looked at Lance and saw that he was listening intensively. "Listen, Lance. I don't know why I tell you this all. I mean, I don't know you very good. But I think you are very nice, I like you, and I have the feeling that I can trust you. But promise me that you won't tell anybody, okay? Because, I haven't really figured out everything for myself until now, and I want to talk to my mom before and so on..." Lance nodded. "Of course I won't tell anybody. - Can I ask you something?" When Justin smiled at him encouragingly, he continued "You said that JC likes you the way you like him - why aren't you together then?" "Well, it's a bit complicated", Justin answered. "Do you want to hear the whole story? It might take a while." Lance stood up and picked up his book from the floor. "Sure. I can skip chorus today. Maybe we can go somewhere where we can talk." Justin smiled brightly at him. "I'd love that. We could grab something to eat and go to the park, what do you say?" "That sounds good", Lance answered, and when Justin turned around and walked out of the room, he followed him, a happy smile on his face. It seemed as if for the first time since he was at college there was somebody who could become a real friend. TBC...