Date: Tue, 5 Jun 2001 02:15:30 +1000 (EST) From: Corey Taylor Subject: The more you ignore me (chapter one) new story OK Everyone, for those of you who haven't met me (and that would be most of you) my name is Corey and this is my first posted fic, about Lance and JC. I have written them before but never posted them, however constant harassment from Aaron and Mel (co-authors of the excellent "Curly and Josh"), which included threats against my job and my life (which is laughable you angry little midgets) as well as me being asked by Penelope, the author of "Not until you love me" to post just one of my stories so she could see how well I wrote, mean that I have posted the first chapter of this story. If you hate it then blame them. If you like it, or have any ideas for me, then please email me at Lances_leather_pants@yahoo.com.au . Just a quick note if the "advertising gurus" at Mazda are reading this (yeah likely huh?) could you please stop playing that advert with the seriously irritating soundtrack? You know exactly which one I mean too, the one that constantly goes "Zoom, Zoom, Zoom" I'll buy a car off you if you just stop playing that freaking song! It has been going around in my head for weeks now. Oh, and by the way, I'm Australian too (yeah another one) so you will have to excuse any "misspellings" they are intentional. Disclaimer: I am not really, as suggested by my email address, Lances leather pants, so I was not present when Lance admitted he was gay. I do not know any of the guys, nor do I know of their sexual preference. I will say this, however, I just saw the shots of NSYNC in the July issue of TV HITS and if JC isn't gay then the boy wants to have an image overhaul, because silver/gold snakeskin pants with black shoes and a horizontally striped, brown, black and grey turtleneck sweater set off with a lime-green vinyl jacket with flared sleeves is not exactly an outfit that screams "I'm a masculine hetero guy". In fact he looks like an extra from a "Where's Waldo" book. From this picture you would believe that Lance and Chris were the only straight ones in the group, and that's sad! Enough said. Stories I recommend: Curly and Josh: Aaron is a great writer and super-cute too (sorry Mel). Not until you love me -- Because Dawn is ace, and listens to my whine a lot Lance JC and the astral fan -- because it is really different and has Lance and JC "doing stuff" NSYNC Lance n JC -- Although I've only just started it, but it has Lance and JC in it and sounds promising. OK, on with the story. "I don't mind I don't mind if you forget me Having learned my lesson I never leave and impression on anyone The pressure to change, to move on Was strange And very strong So this is why I tell you I really do understand I DON'T MIND IF YOU FORGET ME" Lance sat inconspicuously in the reclined leather seat of the plane, the loud humming of the engine audible over the music from his Discman. His face was turned toward the window so that none of the other passengers could see the tears spilling down his cheeks. He needn't have bothered hiding, however, as it seemed that the entire plane was full of middle-aged business people who not only failed to recognise him as famous, but neglected to notice him at all. Normally he would have been glad of the anonymity, being unaccustomed to fame it made him nervous when people he didn't know came up to speak to him. But now he wanted to stand up from his first class seat and declare to the entire plane "I'm Lance Bass from NSYNC". Just in the hope that someone, a fan, a boy-band hater, anybody, would sit next to him and start a meaningless conversation, to tear him away from the cocktail of mixed emotions and thoughts stirring through his mind. It had only been 2 years since the day he realised he loved JC, but the scenario repeated every time they had a break from touring. JC and Justin would go home to their respective families before meeting up again in Orlando. Joey and Chris would go back to their shared apartment and their respective girlfriends, and Lance would go back to his parents home, alone, to take care of his various business concerns, forgotten by the rest of the group until touring resumed. He would then spend the vacation time growing more and more miserable by the day, before making the promise to himself to tell JC during the next time the saw each other. Now here he was, at the close of another tour, the familiar trip back to Tennessee, his promise to himself broken, his emotions in tatters and the words "I love you" unsaid. "Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am home again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again." It wasn't as though he hadn't had ample opportunity to tell JC how he felt. They were together a lot, JC had even become his hotel "room mate" on the last 2 tours because Britney's recurring presence made it inconvenient for Justin to share a room. Lance lied to himself, telling himself that he wasn't sure why he left his feelings unexpressed, but deep down he knew exactly why. It was what he currently shared with JC that made him so apprehensive. The friendly smile when he woke in the morning. The "in-jokes" that only the two of them understood. The nightly ritual of sharing their opinions and thoughts with each other, from their separate beds in a dark motel room, as children at a pyjama party would. JC standing behind him as he completed work on his computer after dinner, asking questions about his life outside NSYNC, actually taking an interest in him. The wrestling matches JC often started with him for no apparent reason. The secret glances he took of JC sleeping. The full on views of exposed flesh as JC walked from the shower to his suitcase to dress, the perfectly formed chest and muscular stomach he often dreamed of running his hands over, the lightly haired "runway" from his navel disappearing into the towel wrapped around his waist, the well-defined and flawlessly bronzed arms he longed to have wrapped around him. All of these things were so sacred to him now that he was afraid to reveal his true feelings lest it all go awry and spoil what little he held dear. Even if that silence meant he would spend the entire vacation is misery, crying every time a love-song played on the radio, falling asleep every night alone in a cold bed while the object of his affection was miles away, Lance the furthest thing from his mind. Despite his best efforts he could not even have the kind of friendship with JC that Justin shared, let alone a passionate relationship, because once NSYNC took a break Lance ceased to be part of a group and went back to being alone. "You can only be strong for so long It might not eat you but it would be too.. So this is why I tell you I really don't understand this time And I DO mind if you forget me." OK Folks, there it was. I know the first chapter wasn't the best, but I promise it will get better. If you think the story is worth going on with, then let me know. If you don't think I should continue, or you have some suggestions to make the story better, then let me know. Don't hold back I'm not fragile, I need the truth. Thanks, Corey T. P.S. Aaron, Mel and Dawn, I did it, are you proud? LOL.