Date: Wed, 04 Oct 2000 18:49:59 GMT From: Kevin Michael Subject: the-real-nick-1 Hi! I'm Kevin and you may remember me from such stories as JandJC and Two Out Of Five. Yeah - I know - I left those hanging in mid-air a long while back - and I contemplating re-visiting them - but then thought, "No one will remember them anyway." Well - back to the point - I was laying in bed and this story line just sort of popped into my mind. (Get your mind out of the gutter - I was just laying there - nothing else!) SO anyway - here is a little Nick tale. I'm not saying he's gay - this is 100% fiction. We can all hope - but nothing from this point on is the truth, got it? Oh yeah - and if you're too young, weak of heart, forbidden to read this, or are straight - go away. Otherwise read on! The-Real-Nick **SLAM** Everyone stood in silence as Nick stormed into his room, slamming the door. AJ finally broke the silence, "I'm sorry. I didn't think suggesting that he could ride with Brian to dinner would upset him that much." "Don't worry Alex. I don't think it was anything you said. He's been really moody lately." Kevin consoled his band-mate. "Why don't you guys head out and I'll talk to Nick and we'll meet up with you." The other three left and Kevin let out a sigh as he headed for Nick's door. 'Why do I get to solve all of these dramatic moments? Oh well - here goes the bitch session.' "Go away." "Nick, it's me. Open up." "Did I not say 'go away.'?" Kevin pulled a copy of the room key out of his pocket and let himself into Nick's room. "So not only do you ignore my wishes, but now you are invading my privacy too?" Nick sneered. "Fuck you Nick. Now you're going to tell me what's up and then we're going to dinner." "Go without me. No one will miss me anyway." Kevin walked over and sat next to Nick. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder, but Nick quickly shrugged it off. "Come on Nick, what's up? You haven't been yourself lately." "And exactly how is that supposed to be?" "You lost me there. What do you mean?" "You said I haven't been myself lately, and I asked you who "I" was supposed to be, because I don't know anymore." "What do you mean." Nick's face started to turn red as he turned towards Kevin and said, "What I mean is who EXACTLY is it you want me to be? God knows I have to be someone different for everyone. 'Walk this way.' 'Dance like this.' 'Look more like this.' 'Say this. Don't say that.' Everyone is always telling us what to do, what to say, how to act. How the hell are any of us supposed to know who we are anymore." "Nick, I didn't realize you felt like that." "Well I do and if anyone listened to me, maybe they'd know it too." "I'm sorry. I guess I haven't been paying much attention to things since the wedding." Nick cringed at the word 'wedding' as Kevin continued, "but you and I were never that close and whenever I spent time with you I felt like I was infringing on yours and Brian's friendship. I mean you two are inseparable." "Were inseparable." Nick said almost inaudibly. "What was that Nick?" Nick jumped up from the bed. "I said we WERE inseparable. Now he could give a fuck about me or anything other than 'her'." "Nick I don't think you're being fair. He is married and of course LeighAnn is going to take some of his time, but you have to understand that he loves her and you can't get in the way of that. There is something very special between them." "YEAH, WELL THERE WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL BETWEEN US TOO." Nick yelled before collapsing onto the floor crying. Kevin went over and hugged Nick. "It's okay. I know it's tough feeling like you have been replaced, but you haven't. And you have to understand that what they have is very different than what you two have. He loves her very much. You are a friend, a best friend. She is his soul mate." "You don't understand. He wasn't supposed to be hers. He was supposed to be mine." "Nick you're talking crazy now." Nick just shook his head 'no' and buried his face in Kevin's shoulder. After a while he calmed down a little and looked Kevin in the eyes. "I have to tell you something. Something you may not understand or believe or like, but I have to tell someone so it might as well be you. It all happened a long time ago. It was my 16th birthday. I had never been away from my family on my birthday and I hated it. To top things off you guys all wanted to go to a club." "I think I remember. We were in Europe, right?" Nick nodded. "Well Brian stayed with me that night because he knew how upset I was. Any NORMAL kid would have been running around, opening presents and getting his drivers permit. I was stuck in a hotel in a strange country, alone, and being forced to put on shows like a trained monkey. Anyway, Brian and I ordered room service and he got them to bring me up a slice of cake with a candle on it. Then he gave me this." Nick pulled out a gold chain from under his shirt and showed it to Kevin. Kevin had seen Nick wear it a million times, but this was the first time he had really looked at it. It was a standard gold link chain, but the in the front, the links turned into two hands holding one another. "That night he told me he loved me and that he would never leave me. He said we would be together forever." "Nick, maybe you misunderstood what he meant. I'm sure he meant together forever as friends." "NO!" Nick yelled. "No, that's not it. That night he also told me that I was different from everyone else; that I was special. And then it happened." "What happened?" Nick looked at the floor for a moment. "He kissed me." "On the cheek, right?" Kevin asked, becoming uncomfortable. "Um, no. Kevin, I know you may not understand this or accept it or even believe it. Just let me finish, okay?" Kevin nodded. "Brian said he had feelings for me. Feelings that some might say are wrong, but he had them anyway. You have to understand. He made me feel safe and loved and wanted." Nick paused for a moment, looking at the ground. "He took my virginity that night." Okay - now I know you all LOVE cliff-hangers, BUT I know how everyone likes series, so I figured leaving and ending like this guarantees a second chapter, right?! So stay tuned. And in case you want to yell at me or whatever - you can send it to studat25@hotmail.com . Bye!!