Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 20:24:54 -0700 (PDT) From: Joshua Williams Subject: The Shape of My Heart 6 Disclaimer This is a work of fiction. Although the story does involve characters from the Backstreet Boys, it is by no means a reflection on their lives or sexuality. Any similarities to them or other stories is purely coincidental. If you are under the legal age to be reading this or are offended by homosexual relationships please do not continue. Thank you. ____________________________________________________________________ Sorry about this coming in a bit late, but I've been so busy with work! A big thank you to everyone again who's written to me. Your emails really do keep me going. Knowing that there are people out there who like my story - its a big boost of encouragement. This is my second go at a nifty story...which means I'm all down with the erotic fiction writing, but I'm trying. So be patient, and all will come in good time. -------------------------------------------- The Shape of My Heart - Chapter 6 Brian was in shock. "Did Josh just tell me he loves me?" he asked himself. He had been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since he met Josh, but the last 30 seconds had been the most heart wrenching. "First he tells me he loves me, then says he never wants to see me again," "Josh NEVER wants to see me, never wants to see, never wants to see me again...." Brian kept on repeating. It was just begining to sink in, the one man he hated him and never wanted to see him again..no..he loved him, just didn't want to be with him. Brian just stood there, trying to understand. "I won't cry...what's the point, it's over but it never really even began....what did I do? what did I do? He didn't even give me a chance. I mean....aren't we all supposed to have a little love?" Brian was talking to himself. Kevin tried to talk to Brian but was stopped by Nick. "What went on with you and Josh? Why did you stop Brian?" asked Nick clearly enraged. "I thought you'd be happy? or are you blind?" replied Kevin confused and angry over Nick reaction. "Happy? You are sordid! Brian's my best friend, do you think I like to see him like that?" said Nick pointing to Brian who was now shaking and crying. "Nick! Josh did this for you, I'm sure of it! He didn't...." "For me? what are you on about?" "They obviously have feeling for each other and if Josh stayed on something was sure to happen! You can't be that naive!" shot back Kevin. "I know!!! Brian's in love with him. If you have a problem with that and he being gay then...aargh....I don't know what going on in your head, but don't use me as an excuse.....What the hell did you say to Josh you prejudice bastard? Just because you're lonely that doesn't give you the right to stop everyone else from finding love!" screamed Nick. "You knew? then.....you mean...you and Brian aren't?" stammered Kevin. "Wha...me and Brian?" laughed Nick. "You mean you thought me and Brian were involved?" "Aren't you?" asked Kevin. "Kev, Bri and me and best friends and that's where it ends," said Nick laughing, "oh my god, is that why....you didn't tell Josh that did you?" "No, that's what Josh said," said Kevin "Oh my god, Josh, bless him. He's such an angel. He thought that he'd be coming in between me and Bri....that's why he told us to leave. Kev, we have to sort this out. Where's Brian?" said Nick scanning the carpark for Brian. "He was here a minute ago....shit he's done a runner," said Kevin. "Go look for him and I'll talk to Josh," "No, I think it would be better if I spoke to Josh. I think if it came from me, it would look better." said Nick. "alright, but hurry!" ***** Nick hurried back into the hospital. He made his way up to Josh's floor, but was stopped immediately at reception by the nurse. "Sir, I have very strict order not to let you near Mr Williams. I know who you are and don't want to call security, but I will if I have to." said the nurse sternly. "I know....I know...but you don't understand. He'll want to see me, it's really important. I promise I'll only be a minute," said Nick pleadingly. "I'm sorry, but you will have to leave." she replied very curtly. "Right, can I see his doctor then? You can do me that much can't you? Let me explain it to her, if I can't get through to you!" said Nick very annoyed. "She's left for the evening. If you want to see her I suggest you come back tomorrow. Good night." Nick knew he couldn't reason with her, so he just made a dash for Josh's room. Nick knew he had to rush. She would have called security by now, so he was short on time. "Oh shit! Just great. I'm lost.....217's over there, 204 over there, right....." Just as he got to the door, he saw two burly men right behind him. He slammed Josh's door open and screamed, Startled from the bang, Josh jumped out of bed, He rubbed his eyes and saw Nick standing here, gasping, "You got it wrong. Brian loves you.....there nothing with ..." The two security guards then grabbed Nick and started to pull him out of the room, "End of the road buddy," said one of them. "Josh....go to him!!" screamed Nick. Still a but dazed, Josh wasn't quite sure what Nick had said, he it was something about being wrong, and did Nick say go to him? ***** Kevin started to scower the carpark thinking that Brian had maybe found some corner to hide in. He did that alot when he needed to think. "Brian!! Brian Litterel. Where are you?" Kevin wanted to shout out what he and Nick had just discovered, but if someone heard him, it would have been the end of the BSB. He then heard a voice call out to him, "Kev!! Kev!! where are you?" It sounded like Nick. He turned around to see Nick running towards him. "God, he looks amazing," said Kevin to himself. Nick's now spikey blond hair was wet drenched in sweat, and it looked a bit floppy. The shirt he was wearing had lost of few buttons, and Kevin could see his chest. There was nothing about Nick that Kevin didn't find attractive about Nick. He started to picture Nick feeling as strongly about him and Brian did Josh. Having Nick in his arms, feeling his breath against his neck... "Kev...Kev....Kev....Kevin Richardson!" "huh?" said Kevin. Kevin had been thinking about Nick for so long that he didn't see Nick standing right in front of him. "What you thinking about? You've got a funny smirk on your face...and it's usually when you've just gotten laid!!" screamed Nick laughing. Kevin blushed. Nick wasn't far off, even though it was all in his head, the emotions that followed were very real. Kevin's feelings for Nick had grown strong over the years, and the only way he could have Nick was in his dreams, so that's what Kevin did. He did have a few flings, but they didn't satisfy him. Kevin always lied saying that he pulled in a club to throw them off track. Looking at Nick, Kevin suddenly realised something. Brian and Nick weren't going out. He was estatic, but along with that realisation was that he now didn't know if Nick was gay. Nick never gave off any gay vibes, and was always talking about girls like Britney, Christina, Sarah Michelle Geller.....Kevin's heart sank once again. Nick noticed Kevin's big smile dissapear, and a tired, dissapointed look appear. "Kev, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" asked Nick taking Kevin's hand. Kevin was once again brought back to reality, and replied, "It's nothing. I couldn't find Brian. I spoke to the driver and he hasn't seem anything either." Nick didn't let go of Kevin's hand. Kevin had longed for a proper relationship....for intimacy, and Nick's small gesture temporarily filled the gap in Kevin's life. For a fleeting moment, Kevin's was filled with happiness, so much so that a tear of joy trickled down his cheek. "Kevin, are you okay?" asked Nick wiping the stray tear from Kevin's face. It was too much for Kevin to bear. He grabbed Nick into his arms and just held him. Nick was a little confused, but reciprocated the hug. "Okay you big lug, I know it's been a rough day, but we need to find Brian, and pronto!!" "Okay," said Kevin sheepishly. He felt a bit embarrased over his emotional outbreak. Kevin's was usually so calm and composed, always taking charge of everything. Nick on the other hand was more emotional, sensitive, and quite a scatter brain. Nick had never seen Kevin so emotional before, but thought to himself, "I wonder what's bugging Kev....he's never lost it like this before, but then again he does look really cute so vulnerable. I knew there was little lost puppy outside that macho exterior....oh lord what I am thinking. Kevin cute, macho.....he does look good in those jeans though....Nicholas Gene Carter what is up with you?" Nick caught up with Kevin, "So...what are we going to do? I managed to say a little to Josh, but seriously not enough. I hope he got the gist of it though. We have to do something. I've never seen Bri so hooked on a guy....on anyone for that matter so....though I don't know what we need to do, we need to do something!!!" said Nick. Nick always had a tendency to waffle on, but Kevin didn't mind. He loved to hear Nick's angelic voice. "We'll come back first thing tomorrow before Josh gets a chance to leave, and for now we keep looking for Brian. He can't have gotten far." to be continued.................... ------------------------ Don't say it - crap ending for this chapter. I kinda rushed through this one, wanted to add a little more in, but thought I'd save that for the next chapter. Please keep those emails rolling in. I'm an email junkie!!