Date: Sat, 18 Aug 2001 02:22:36 EDT
From: MrClean290@aol.com
Subject: The Thing With Nick 8

Its been a while huh?  sorry about that.  my life has been stressful x10.
anyway, ill be sending out the rest of the chappies that i have this week.
enjoy this part.  dislaimer: yup uh huh, if this is true then im dating
lance bass!

The thing with Nick
8

The thing with Nick is, even when his mind's made up, he still changes his
mind.

I woke up the next morning wrapped in a strong hold.  Fair skinned arms
held my naked chest against his.  My arms wrapped tightly around his strong
frame.  Bliss.  His head rested just slightly above mine.  I felt his heavy
breath in my hair.  My breath hit his chest and bounced back to my face.

I gently twisted out of Nick's grasp and walked to the bathroom.  I turned
back to Nick, and then back to the bathroom.  It was real.  This was real.
We had confessed, and we had cried, and we had woken up next to each other.
This was the real thing.

As real as it was, my heart still didn't feel right.  I finished washing up
and sat down next to Nick and I let my hands rub his back as he slept on.
He was what I was waiting for.  My one true love.  My hopes and my dreams.
My passion and compassion.  My lust and my love.  He was my reason.

It was time.

	" It's time.  it's now or never."

	" You talking to yourself again D?"
	" Again?"

I turned to Nick with a grin on my face.

	" Yeah, again, I sure you've done it before!"
	" Yeah, well, I was just thinking aloud."
	" What's it time for?"
	" What?"
	" You said it's time.  Time for what?"
	" It's time for me to be me."
	" Huh?"
	" I've been hiding a very important part of my life from a lot of
people.  And I can't do it anymore."
	" What?"
	" Who I am.  I'm gay Nicky, and I'm tired of hiding."
	" So we'll tell them."
	" We?"
	" We."

We got dressed and walked to Kevin's room, together.  Upon entering the
room, we found everyone we had called.  Brian, Kevin, management, Denise,
Leighanne, Kristin, Pollyanna and AJ who smiled at us knowingly.  Nick took
a seat next AJ.  I stood in front of my friends and family with more
courage and more fear at the same time than I had ever had.

	" I called you all here, to tell you something I have been hiding
for many years."

I took a deep breath.

	" I'm gay."

No sugar coating or long explanations.

I looked around the room.

I looked to Nick.

	" D.  don't worry man, we all still love you."

No, 'me too,' no ' By the way, I'm gay and in love with his as well.'  Just
a simple 'we still love you.'

AJ looked from Nick, to me and back to Nick.

Brian and Kevin nodded in agreement.

	" Howie, your sexuality has nothing to do with how we love you."
	" Howie, you're family, family sticks together."
	" Howie, of course we still love you."
	" Howie, my darling brother, you should have known you never have
to keep secrets from me."

Howie this, and Howie that.

No 'I love you's' from the one man I needed to hear it from.

	" Howie, you okay there buddy?"

I looked around the room.  AJ stood in front of me, Nick behind him.  the
others must have already left.

	" Huh?  Yeah, I'm fine.  Excuse me, I'm feeling rather tired this
morning."

I could hear the yelling as I closed the door.

	" You asshole!  How could you let him do that alone?"
	" I wasn't ready."
	" Please, you were more than ready.  You love him for Christ's
sake!  If we had been ready, or willing back in the day I would never have
done that to him!"
	" Oh no, you would have just fucked someone else!"

I even heard the sound of skin on skin as AJ's hand swiped across Nick's
cheek.

	" Don't you pull that shit with me.  Howie can give me that shit
because its his business, and mine, not yours, never yours!"
	" If it's Howie's business, than it's mine!"
	" Then what the fuck happened in here today?  You just decided that
this part, this extremely important part of your boyfriend's life didn't
fit your schedule today?"
	" I wasn't ready!  Okay!"
	" No, it's not okay.  Why didn't you come out today Nick, why?"
	" Because I don't know what I am!"
	" Excuse me?"
	" I don't know what I am.  Am I gay?  Am I bi?  Is it just Howie?"
	" Obviously not, cuz as I remember it was I who fucked your brains
out."

Skin against skin as Nick's hand swiped across AJ's cheek.

	" You swore you'd never bring that up!  You promised!"
	" And you promised to be true to Howie."
	" I am."
	" No, you're not.  You weren't there for him today.  That's not
being true.  Look, Nick, we could fight forever over this, and over Howie,
because I'm sure this is not our last fight over the man.  But for today.
For Howie's sake, please, just suck it up and admit you were wrong!"
	" I love him."
	" I know."

The thing with Nick is, I know too.
~~~~~
~Elisheva
MrClean290@aol.com