Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2001 18:33:19 -0400 From: Nina Finley Subject: Till Death Do Us Part Title : Till Death Do Us Part Part : 1 Rating : PG Hosted at : http://www.superlative.ca/daydream Feedback : nina@superlative.ca Disclaimer : I don't know *NSYNC or anyone who does. I do not assume to know anything about their lives or sexuality. They are real people, with real lives, I just like to play with them once in a while. Till Death Do Us Part... Prologue Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off if I had never answered that ad. I know my life would have been totally different if I hadn't. What if I had just skimmed over it and never even seen it there? I play the 'what if?' game a lot these days. What would have happened to him if I had never entered his life? Would that have been better for him? Part of me thinks so, but my heart hope that's not true. Somewhere deep inside myself, the part I haven't let out in quite sometime, knows that we were both better for meeting each other. Without him I would have missed something that I maybe never would have known I was missing, but without it part of me would never have lived. Without me, he never would have known the beauty of true love... Part One Wanted : Live-In Male Nurse The ad was so small Lance barely noticed in nestled among the ads for jobs, houses and cars, but it stood out to him. Just out of college, and looking for a way to pay for med school, he needed a job. Badly. He read the rest of the ad: Wanted : Live-In Male Nurse for cancer patient $300/week, 2 days off Must give medicine, drive to appointments and have a strong stomach. Lance smiled, that was an odd thing to put in an ad, but 300 dollars a week? That was more then he made at the restaurant in a month! How hard could it be? It'll be good for me, good experience. **** "Hello? Is anyone here?" Lance peeked around the open door, looking for Justin, the man who'd placed the ad. They'd talked on the phone and arranged to meet at Justin's home today, but it didn't look like he was here. Lance ventured a little further into the house. Around the corner he noticed a man he assumed was Justin, sleeping on the couch, a book laying across his chest. Lance could tell he was tall, even though he was laying down, about 6'0 or 6'1. *He doesn't look sick* Lance thought, noting the strength of his chest and arm muscles. His head was covered by a blue bandanna, Lance assumed he was bald as he had mentioned chemotherapy on the phone. Lance was just contemplating how to wake him when he stirred. "Justin?" He whipped his head around, "you must be Lance," he said, his tone unwelcoming. "Yes, I am." "Well, if you'd like the job it's yours." "That's it? Just like that? You don't wanna ask me anything?" Justin shook his head, "no, since you here I'd assume you can handle the work and truthfully, there aren't that many people who want to take care of a dying man." Lance wasn't so sure about this job anymore. Justin had sounded nice enough over the phone, but seeing him was different. His eyes were cold, hard ice blue. Lance was scared to look him in the eye. "You do want the job, don't you?" "Yes, of course I do. I'm sure it'll be fine." "Good, then you'll be moving in soon? There's a room upstairs next to mine you can have, I hope you like it." Justin's eyes softened just a little. "I'm sure I will, I thought I'd move in this weekend, I don't have much so packing my apartment won't be hard." Justin nodded, "that's fine. Now, I need to tell you the...details of my illness. I've been sick for 5 years, since I was 16. I've been to every doctor and healer you could imagine, nothing is helping. The chemo has slowed it a little, but I'm going to die, it's just a question of when. The doctors haven't said as much, but I know that there's no hope." "There's always hope," Lance whispered. "No, not anymore and I'll thank you to not try and tell me different, I don't want to hear it. Frankly, I'd welcome death with open arms right about now." Justin sighed and ran his hand over his head as if he thought maybe there would be hair there this time. A picture on the mantle caught Lance's eye, a young man with blue eyes and a full head of curly brown hair. "That's me, a couple of years ago," Justin said, following Lance's eyes to the picture, "back before I lost all my hair. I used to say I was glad it was gone, those damn curls, but now I'd give my left arm to have them back." Justin sighed and Lance thought for just a second he might cry or something, but just as quickly as it came the moment passed. "Maybe it'll grow back," Lance said, he wanted to be friends with this man if they'd be living together, but he didn't see that happening. Justin laughed, a sad, sarcastic sound, "not likely, unless a miracle occurs and they stop the chemo, but they'll never have a reason to do that." Lance's heart ached Justin, he was still so young, younger then Lance himself, he could have so much to live for yet he just wouldn't try. "Well, I guess I'll come back tomorrow with some of my things and start moving in." Lance said standing up. "Yes, shall I send someone over to help?" Justin asked, standing to walk Lance to the door. Lance noted the extra effort it took for him to stand up. "Yes, thank you." "Tomorrow then," Justin said, sticking out his hand. "Tomorrow," Lance shook his hand and hurried from the house and the chill it left him with.