Date: Thu, 9 Dec 1999 20:07:17 EST
From: wesleym2@yahoo.com
Subject: To Love NSYNC

Author's Note: Hello again. This is Wes. It has been a while but I want to
try another story. This story was inspired by some one I used to hold dear
to my heart but... Oh well. Any way, there are some great stories out
there. Some are When You Say Nothing At All, Just Beginning, Brian's Seven
Sea's of Loneliness, and others. If I was to mention all of them then I
wouldn't have time to write.  I'm not quite sure how to title this so if
someone can think of a better title let me know by sending it to
wesleym2@yahoo.com. Who ever sends the best title will get an early edition
to every installment of this story.

Legal Stuff: If you are underage in your state or country to read sexually
explicit material then you should not be here or if you have a problem with
homosexuality then leaves as well. Also this is a pure fiction story, it is
not to imply that any of the guys from NSYNC are bi or gay. (But we all can
dream can't we). Also give NSYNC your support through their tough
time. They are a good bunch of guys and they need the support of their
fans.  Well I'll shut up now so you can read the story.

I can be reached at wesleym2@yahoo.com, all comments and suggestions are
welcome.


Ranger: I have enjoyed talking with over the past months and I don't have
any regrets from it...you have been a perfect gentleman

Lil' Warrior: Ranger what is going on

Lil' Warrior: babe...........have I done something wrong

Ranger: You haven't done anything wrong...It is me, I am perceiving the
rift or distance getting to me.

Lil' Warrior: are you trying to say what I think you are saying

Ranger: I can't cope or handle the distance...I should have never started
anything in the beginning...that is why said that this is my doing or
fault...you have been nothing but wonderful and supportive.

I just can't continue to hold on to what I can't...and I can't.  Yes
talking here and via the phone has helped, but the lack of physical and
true emotional contact has broaden the expanse of loss and

I just don't know anymore

Lil' Warrior: I hope you can find some one to hold you and be with you
since I won't be.

Ranger: Wes I will always love and care for you...my dreams, no, my hopes
and desires keep getting deflated or reduced.  I wanted to do so much with
you, but the chances to do that kept getting knocked down.

I am not sure of what I want now.  And I didn't want you to get hurt more
down the road.  It hurts but I am taking the blunt of it so you won't later

Lil' Warrior: my heart is gone and there is no other, like the poem by Eger
Allen Poe says `never more never more', never more shall I see the light of
love for the that light is gone

Ranger: what are you going to do?

Lil' Warrior: I can't do any thing because my heart that has been broken
and put back together is now shattered beyond repair. and a person can't
live with out a heart

Ranger: what are you going to do

are you going to hurt yourself???

Lil' Warrior: HOW CAN I YOU HAVE HURT ME FAR WORSE THAN ANY DEATH

a promise kept a promise broken

that is a line from my song Broken Promises

Ranger: I have no idea what to tell you, other than I am sorry to have hurt
you...

Night

Lil' Warrior: Good Bye.

	With that I logged off of ICQ and continued to cry. We were due to
be married in a few months. I was at a Internet Cafe talking to my now
ex-boyfriend. As I walked out I ran into someone.

"S--s--sorry" I said.

"That's okay I saw you crying and was coming to ask if everything was
okay."

"I just found out that I'm single again, my boyfriend just dumped me." I
couldn't see very well because of the tears that stung my eyes.

"How about we go some where and talk and get you calmed down."

"Okay I guess." Was all I said. I wouldn't look up at this man. I heard him
dial a number on his cell phone.

"Hey is Justin there or J.C.? Hey Just, could you come pick me up, I'm at
the Internet Cafe in the mall?... Yeah there is some one here with me, he
just got some very bad news with his relationship, and he ran into me and I
want to see if we could cheer him up... Ok see ya in a few." Who is this
man.

"Ex--excuse me but you don't kn--know me and I don't know you."

"Well my name is James, and a friend of mine is coming to pick us up, his
name is Justin."

"My name is Wes." After that I went silent. I wouldn't talk, just quietly
cry. We waited for about 30 min. when I was helped to a car. The two guys
in the front talked to each other about me. James told Justin what he
knew. Except that I was gay. 30 min. later we pulled up in front of a house
that was pretty large. I really didn't care. James and Justin got me out of
the car and headed to the house.

	Upon entering a woman with blonde hair met us and greeted me. She
was told the situation and she expressed her concern. They showed me to the
guest room some I could get some rest. I was physically and emotionally
drained. I didn't know what I was going to do. But for now sleep was the
only comfort.

**Out in the living room**

"I hope Wes will be okay. He seems to be a really nice man, I wonder how
old he is?"  Lynn said to Lance and Justin.

"Well I had been walking around the mall and decided to check my e-mail. I
walked in and saw Wes at a computer crying. Before I could go over to him
he logged out and ran out of the store and ran into me."

"We all know how you are with seeing someone crying, you can't stand it."
Lance just giggled.

"Well it is getting late and I think everyone should get some rest. Lance
you can stay in the room next to J.C.'s" With that they all headed to bed.

**The Next morning**

	I awoke to find myself in a strange bed, a strange house. I started
to panic, and then I realized what had happened the night before. I then
started to cry like a baby. I didn't know but the blonde lady was already
up along with the rest of the people I met last night. Justin heard me
crying and came running to me. When he entered the room I was in the floor
in an open corner in a ball. He sat down next to me and pulled me in his
arms. I buried my face in his chest. Softly I heard him humming a song. It
kind of sounded familiar but I didn't know what it was. He started to rock
back and forth, humming softly. He then began to sing softly. The song
wasn't one I had heard before, but it was his voice that really calmed me
down, he had a very beautiful voice. It was like that of an angel. As he
continued to sing I slowly stopped crying and just listened to the song,
and his voice. After a little while he stopped and I then looked up in his
eyes. They were the bluest eyes I had ever seen. He had angelic smile on
his face as he saw that he had helped me quit crying.

"You want some breakfast Wes?"

"Yeah I guess, but afterward I have to get to my apartment to get changed
and freshened up."

"Okay I have the day off so I will take ya." I nodded and he stood and
helped me up.  When I entered the dinning room there were more people here
than there was last night or that I could remember. "Wes, I would like to
formally introduce you to the guys. Okay starting with the guy over by the
counter, that is J.C., the one with the flaming red hair is Joey, the one
with the braids is Chris, and the other blonde is James as you know, and I
Justin. The old guy that just come in is Paul my step dad, and the woman at
the head of the table is my mom Lynn Harlis."

"Hi every one. My name is Wesley Cook Wes for short." I looked at every one
and they nodded. "I guess you want to know what is going on huh?" They all
nodded yes and so I began the long tail of my relationship with Scott and
how it ended. I looked at Justin and he had tears in his eyes. Well all of
them did but still. J.C. was the first to speak.

"I can't believe he just gave up, quit fighting." Then Joey.

"Well my opinion is that he is a jerk, my reason being is that it seems
that all he wanted was a piece of meat and then throw it away for a new
one."

"Well Joey, I don't think that, he was very good to me but he did hurt me
and that is that." Justin then decided to speak.

"I want you to know that I--I mean we will be here for you. Okay?"

"Okay" I smiled and finished my breakfast. When I was done Justin took my
dishes and went to the kitchen. Then came back out.

"You ready Wes?" Everyone looked at me wanting to know what was going on.

"Justin is taking me by my house so I can change into some nice clothes for
a meeting I have today."

"Wes, what is this meeting about?" Lynn asked.

"Oh I'm supposed to meet with a few people from a record company called
Jive. They called me a week ago telling me that they wanted to sign me on
as a singer." As I finished saying that I looked around the room and every
one had this surprise look on their face.  "What did I say?" With that they
snapped out of it.

"Wes did you get the names of the people who you are to meet?"

"Well yeah, one of the men is David Bryceman and the other I can't think of
and then was a group that is called NSYNC that is supposed to be
there. Why?" Again I get this shocked look. "You act as if I should know
you... it can't be... J--James is your name also Lance?" He dropped his
head and I knew then who I was with. Truthfully I wasn't really
surprised. I doubt that anything could surprise me. I sat down and tried to
think. These guys work for Jive who might be my new employer and they know
I'm gay and my life history. My heart sank because there would be no way I
could get signed on with Jive if they told them about me. "Is there a music
studio around here?"

"Why?" Joey asked.

"Well when I have problems I play the piano. It helps me think." Then Lynn
jumped in.

"We have a baby grand in the studio down stairs, you are more than welcome
to use it." I thanked her and Justin lead the way with the rest of the guys
following me. The studio was like one you would find at a recording
company. I went to the piano and started playing a song I had heard on the
radio some where. The guys just watched as I played. I finished the song
and decided to sing a song that I like very much. It was by Michael
Bolton. I looked up when I finished that song to see Justin in tears and
the other guys with very shocked faces. I needed to talk to Justin alone so
I can see what is wrong with him.

"Guys can I talk to Justin alone please." They shook their heads yes and
left me and Justin alone. "Justin what's wrong man, is there something
bothering you?"

"Well..it's just..."

"Justin don't be afraid of it or me."

"Well it's ...I think I am in love with someone but it is wrong." He looked
in my eyes to see nothing but love and caring. I looked in his eyes and saw
compassion and love. We leaned in and then we felt the spark of something
in side us. It's that spark when you find your true love. I put my hand
behind him and pulled him closer to me to deepen the kiss.  I heard someone
knock at the door and I broke the kiss. Justin just looked at me a little
hurt but that disappeared when he heard the knock at the door.

"Yeah..."

"Wes what time did you say your appointment was?" I looked down at my watch
and I had only 30 min. to get ready and get there.

"Shit, I'm sorry Just."

"Don't worry about it I understand, you should be able to wear some of
J.C. clothes lets go see. Or maybe mine." With that we headed upstairs. I
looked at the sizes and saw that J.C.'s clothes were too tight for me. I
then looked trough some of Justin's and found the clothes that could fit
me. I grabbed a pair of black pants and a two tone blue sweater. I took a
quick shower and he gave me a pair of silk boxers. I put them on and
removed the towel. I put on the rest of my clothes that was his and fixed
my hair and then went down stairs. The guys approved and so we all head out
to my appointment.

**Jive**

"Hello Mr. Cook, My name is David Bryceman."

"Hello, Mr. Bryceman." I said as I shook his hand.

"Please call me David, now first of all I guess you have met the guys of
NSYNC, so now lets get on with this meeting." I was nervous needless to
say. He told me the history of Jive and a bunch of bull shit. Then he got
to the point. "What I am trying to say is that we can't sign you on at this
time." I wasn't the only one pissed.

"Hey wait a minute here." J.C. said a little loud. "What are ..."

"J.C. if you would let me finish, but the reason NSYNC is here is because
they are in need of a personal assistant. When we did the back ground check
on you we discovered that you have worked in that type of work before. So
we think for now it is best for you.  Then when it is time we will sign you
on as a singer." I felt better that I would still get to work for Jive and
still will be able to get signed on. But that also gave me time to become
friends with Justin and maybe with time get together. We finished the rest
of the meeting by me signing contracts. One of the contracts I had to sign
was one that said I had to keep my sexual preference away from the media. I
understood that perfectly. After David left we NSYNC and me did more
talking about our new situation.

"Well I think it is a good thing, for Wes and all." Justin chimed. Lance
agreed with him.

"It is gonna be different that is for sure, we never had some one who knows
us as normal human beings before." Was Joey's answer.

"Welcome to the group Wes." Chris said. But J.C. kept quiet. I just brushed
off and got my things together. The guys did the same and we all headed
out. Once in the limo everybody wanted to do different things.

"Hey guys it is late but I want to go for a walk on the beach." That got a
few stares and one laugh. Justin though thought it was a great idea.

"Okay you and Justin will be at the beach, I'm going to a club, anyone want
to join me."  J.C. asked. Joey and Chris said they wanted to go. Lance
wanted to get some things done at home so he was going home. So the first
stop was the beach since it was the closest.  Me and Justin got out and the
guys all headed out.

"Justin, when you kissed me today, what did you feel?" There was a silence
and then he spoke.

"Well, when I first saw you, you looked so alone and my heart went to
you. And then you cried in my arms. I wanted to take the pain away from you
and from me. Then when I kissed you I felt like...I don't know it just felt
right ya know." The answer was one of thought.

"I felt the same way as you did when we kissed, but it really is too soon
for me to start a new relationship right now, I just got dumped yesterday,
but...I don't know." We had stopped. I turned to look at the sky and watch
the sun sink behind the water. I sat down and so did Justin. I don't know
why but this feels so right to be with him why can't I just allow him in. I
let a tear fall as the last bit of the sun disappeared under the water. I
was still watching the horizon when I felt a hand wipe the tear from my
eye. I turned to Justin.

"It's okay Wes, I'm not going to hurt you. I never thought it possible but
I do love you, yes we only met yesterday but, I heard some where that love
will find you not you find it and when it does it is like being hit with a
bunch of bricks." I knew what he was saying because I felt it too. When I'm
with him I feel complete. I let another tear fall but it is not a tear of
sadness but a tear of joy. I thought that when I lost Scott, I would never
be able to love again. But I am. I looked in to those sapphire blue eyes. I
could see his very soul.  I could see the worlds move around us. The stars
light up with joy. At that moment nothing could hurt us. We slowly leaned
in to feel the power of love flow between to people in a kiss. The image
that came to mind was that one scene of Beauty and the Beast, where Belle
kisses the prince and the curse is removed. I could feel it deep in the
very center of my soul.  I knew then that there was no turning back.

	When we broke the stars had all come out and the moon was shining
brightly. We got up and walked up to where the guys had dropped us off. I
was surprised to see Lance there. Waiting on us with a grin on his face.

TBC... Don't ya just hate those, well Let's see what happens in the next
installment.