Date: Fri, 17 Jun 2005 20:58:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ronnie Gilmore <rfgboy85@yahoo.com>
Subject: True Love With Justin Timberlake- 17

This is just a story - This in no means implies that
Justin Timberlake is gay. If he is, thats his
business, but once again - it is just a story.


CHAPTER 17


     Rogers wasn't a little town like I had expected.
Though it was occupied with old buildings and not alot
of people could be seen.. so far.

     "I've lived right here in Rogers all my life,"
Ray was telling me. "Don't know nuthing outside the
county, cept' for a couple of smaller towns nearby."

     I smiled as I looked out the passenger window,
just in time to see what looked like a couple of
parents sitting on a blanket watching their kids feed
the ducks some bread. It seemed so peaceful here.

     It wasn't long before Ray pulled into a small
little feed box that was called "Ma's Kitchen." He
hopped out out of the truck and motioned for me to
follow him.

     "Ma has the best cookin' round these parts." Ray
said as he entered the diner. "If I ever don't feel
like cooking, I just come here."

     I followed him inside and was instantly hit with
the aromas off all kinds of food. My stomach made a
noise and I instantly felt hungry. I looked around,
observing the surroundings.

    No one seemed to be here at this hour.  Wooden
tables were placed throughout the room; each table
covered with the old fashioned red and white checkered
table cloth. Salt and pepper shakers, and age old
mustard and ketchup bottles were placed on top of
them. Walking across the wooden floor, I heard Tammy
Wynettes, Stand By Your Man coming from an old
jukebox. I thought about how long it had been since I
had been any place like this... too long.

     Ray picked a table near a window, in view of his
truck. I shyly sat across from him, suddenly not
knowing how to act or what to say.

     "Well hey there, Bubba Ray Higgings!" I heard.

     I turned to find a dark haired woman making her
way past the tables from the kitchen to our table. She
was a large woman, wearing a Brooks and Dunn T- Shirt
and some blue jeans. She had a friendly smile and kind
eyes.

     Ray greeted her as she finally approached us.
"Hey there, Annamae! How you doin'?"

     "Not bad, not bad" Annamae answered. "Just
helpin' Mama out, ya know. The usual."

     "I know how that goes," Ray said. "Gotta do what
ya gotta do, ain't that right?"

     "That's sure as hell right!" Annamae exclaimed.
Her eyes then fell upon me. "Well hey there! Didn't
even see ya there!"

     "Hi," I said suddenly feeling my face go red.

     "Oh Annamae, this here is RJ." Ray said
introducing me. "He had a little car trouble so I
figure'd I'd help him out."

     "Car trouble eh," She said looking at me. "I know
how that goes. My Ford just about went out on me last
week. Jed's thinking of gettin' us a new one on the
'count of that thing is so old."

     "How is Jed?" Ray asked Annamae. "I haven't seen
that husband of yours for a while now."

     "Oh you know how Jed is," She said waving her
hand. "Since we got that cable, his ass ain't been off
that couch. All he does all day long is watch them
race cars on that SPEED channel."

     Ray laughed. "Well I was sort of going out there
to see ya'll in a little bit. I thought maybe Jed
might be able to help Rj out with the car and all.
Kind of like a favor. He does kind of owe me since we
had that ropin' contest down at the ol' rodeo."

     Annamae chuckled. "Jed's still pissed that you
won. He still want's a rematch to this day."

     "Hey, you just tell him that ya can't win'em all,
alright?" Ray said still laughing.

     "Keep up the braggin'  Bubba Ray," Annamae said
smiling. "Jed swears up and down he's gonna beat you
one day."

     "Alright," Ray said. "We'll see... So you think
he might help Rj out?"

     "I don't know," She said looking at me. "Jed's
thinkin' bout closing the mechanic place soon. He says
we ain't makin' enough down at the shop. He keeps
tellin' me he might be going to work for his daddy on
his farm instead. He hasn't been much for fixin' cars
these days."

     "Well I guess I'll drive down their later and see
what he can do," Ray said. "For now, Im'a get RJ and
me something to eat."

     Annamae pulled out a little notepad and a pen.
"Alright, what can I get you boys?"

     "Imma have your Chicken Fried Steak smothered in
your finest gravy, some mashed potatoes, macaroni and
cheese, and your homemade sweet rolls." Ray exclaimed.

     I had been too busy listening to their
conversation that I didn't even think to look at the
menu.

     "What bout' you sugar?" Annamae asked.

     "I guess I will have the same," I responded.

     Ray smiled. "Good choice. Like I told you, Ma has
the best cookin' round these parts."

     Annamae turned a bit red. "Bubba Ray, stop! Mama
just cooks from the heart, you know that!"

     "Where is Ma, anyhow?" Ray asked.

     "She's in the kitchen, want me to go fetch her
for ya?"

     "Nah, not if shes busy," Ray told her.

     "You know Mama ain't never too busy to see lil'
Bubba Ray!" Annamae said. "Imma go put these orders in
and got get Mama for ya." With that she walked off.

     "That's Annamae," Ray told me. I smiled. I kind
of figured that already. "She lives on the outskirts
of Rogers, with her husband Jed and they have a lil'
girl named Wendell. Nicest people you ever wanna meet.
Jed owns the mechanic shop. He was the friend I was
tellin' you about. Oh, and if you haven't guess it by
now, Mama is Annamae's mother. Annamae helps Mama out
sometimes here at this place."

     "Oh okay," I said to him. I couldn't help but
notice that he had beautiful brown puppy dog eyes. I
shook my head as soon as that thought entered my head.


     He isn't gay for all you know! This guy could be
straight, and if he ever found out you like guys, you
could get your ass kicked.

     "I used to go to school with Annamae," Ray
continued. "Then when she married Jed when she was
fifteen, she dropped out and became one of them,
whatchacallits, stay-at-home-wives? I guess thats how
you put it. Anyways, Mama wasn't too happy about that
but of course she didn't say nothin' bout it. Annamae
is all she got. See, Mamas husband died when Annamae
was twelve, and then shortly after her son, and
Annamaes brother, Charlie died in a bullridin'
incident. So that just leaves Mama with Annamae."

     I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was so
sad. "Oh my goodness."

     "Yea, but Mama is strong. And if Mama ever needs
a mans help, she can rely on Jed. She has grown to
like him over the years."

     A much larger woman suddenly appeared at our
table. She had white hair, with blue eyes. She seemed
to give off a pleasant, down to earth nature, just
from looking at her. She wore a white T-Shirt with
what seemed to be ketchup and mustard stains, some
blue jeans and some house slippers. She smiled when
she looked at Ray.

     "Well if it isn't my lil' Bubba Ray!" She said,
then looking at me. "And company! Well who is this?!"

     "This is -" Ray started to say, but Mama cut him
off.

     "Now, I think he has a voice to speak with Bubba
Ray," She said smiling, still looking at me. She held
out her hand for me to shake. "And who might you be?"

     "I'm Rj" I told her placing my hand in hers. For
some reason, I wasn't shy around this lady. I
instantly liked her.

     "Nice to meet ya, Rj," Mama said after we shook
hands. "I don't take it that you are from around these
parts?"

     "No ma'am." I responded. "I am originally from
Texas but moved to Los Angeles. I kind of decided to
take a last minute road trip, and I ended up here."

     Mama laughed. "Honey, don't no one just end up
here. I take it there was some car trouble, I reckon?"

     "Yes, there was."

     "Well I guess I can talk Jed into fixin' it for
ya," Mama told me. "He don't like doin' much these
days, all on the 'count of Annamae getting that cable,
But I am sure I can get his butt off the couch for
just a lil' bit."

     "I was going to head up there, after we had a
bite to eat," Ray told Mama. "I figured Rj might want
to be back on the road as soon as possible."

     "Yeah, I reckon" Mama replied. "But you boys let
me talk to him. Lord knows you two would be there all
night beggin' that boy."

     "True." Ray said.

     "So Bubba Ray," Mama said suddenly changing the
conversation. "How you been? The ranch holdin' up
alright?"

     "Oh yes Mama. You know that ranch will be doing
just fine as long as I am around."

     "Good," Mama answered. "Your father would roll
over in his grave if he found out you wasn't taking
care of his land."

     "Hey, I learned from Daddy," Ray responded.
"Ain't nothing going to happen to that ranch."

     "Yeah, Butch was the best ranchhand and cattle
herder around these parts." Mama told him. "You would
have made him proud Bubba Ray."

     Ray grew quiet.

     "Well, Imma go and help Annamae with those
orders. You two take it easy. Nice to meet ya Rj."

     "Nice to meet you as well." I said silently.

     Mama walked away and we were left at the table. I
stared at Ray for a moment. He seemed lost in a daze.
I suddenly had the urge to ask him what had happened
to his father, but I felt that would be rude. Maybe he
didn't want to talk about it.

     I looked out the window. The sun was setting, it
would be completely dark soon. I felt bad about not
calling Lana or anyone. I was beginning to miss them.

     "Is there a payphone around here?" I asked Ray.

     He shook his head. I must have broken him out of
his thoughts. "Oh.. yea. There is one right outside
the door there."

     I excused myself and walked outside. Indeed,
there was a small payphone right beside the entrance
to the restaurant. I dug in my pockets for some
change. After finding fifty cents, I put them in the
slot and dialed Lana's number. It began to ring.

    She picked up on the third ring.

     "Hello?"

     "Hello, Lana? It's me, Rj."

     "Oh my - " I heard from the other end of the
line. "I have been trying to call you. You had me
worried sick!"

     "Well I am fine."

     "Where the hell are you? You have been gone for
almost four days."

     "Really, that long?"

     "Yeah, that long! I called everyone. Your job,
your mom, Justin..."

     "Justin?" I interrupted.

     "Yeah, Justin Timberlake. I had his number from
the photo shoot."

      I didn't know what to say. I had totally forgot
that Lana would have Justin's contacts. She was after
all, the person who would be taking his pictures for
the next few weeks.

     "I'm sorry I didn't call you," I told her trying
to change the subject. "Just been really stressed."

     "I figured that since you hadn't been home. Where
are you anyways?"

     "Rogers, Arkansas." I said weakly, knowing what
her response was going to be.

     "Arkansas! Rogers Arkansas?! As in, i'm almost to
Tennessee, Arkansas?!"

     "I'm almost to Tennessee?" I said. I had no idea
where Rogers was located on the map.

     "Holy mother of- Okay, so you have no clue where
you are at. You just hopped in your car and started
driving?"

     "Yeah, thats exactly what I did."

     "What the hell made you do this? Wait, no. I
think I know. From what Justin said, this makes
perfect sense."

     This peaked my curiousity. "What did Justin say?"

     "Well when I called him, he was reluctant to tell
me anything. So I had to break the ice and let him
know that I knew about you two and how you two had
been lovers way back when. After that he kind of went
soft on me. Told me how you two were in the studio and
were talking, then things just kind of took a turn for
the worst."

     "Tell me about it," I breathed into the phone.
"That was the worst interview ever."

     "Doesn't sound like it," I heard Lana tell me. "I
wish I would have been there. That's some good stuff
right there. I can tell he still likes you."

     "What?"

     "He still likes you."

     "And how exactly would you know that?"

     "Just the way he was acting. He seemed so sad.
And when I told him that I had no idea where you were,
he seemed concerned. He was even willing to come over
here and help me look for you."

     I was shocked. Justin was the last person I
thought would go looking for me if I had to of come up
missing. Did he really still have feelings for me?

     "Yeah well, he may still like me, but he has
Cameron." I told her, realising that my defense
mechanisms were going up. "There is no way in hell we
would ever be together again."

     "Hello, Justin is not the only guy in the world
Rj!" Lana told me. "Anyways... when are you coming
home?"

     "As soon as the car gets fixed."

     "Fixed... honey, what do you mean, fixed?"

     "As in, I can't go anywhere until my car is
fixed."

     "Screw the car... I am coming to get you."

     My mouth dropped. "Lana, I don't know-"

     "Look, you stay there in Rogers Arkansas. I will
be there in.. oh hell, I'll be there when I get
there." She hung up before I could say anything else.

**              **        **               **

     The food was just as good as Ray had described
it. I had never tasted anything that good, except for
my own mothers cooking.

     I silently watched Ray as he ate. He was so cute.
He may have licked the plate clean if he hadn't of
been any hungrier. I found myself looking at him more
than once. At first, I wasn't noticing I was doing
this, until Ray had looked up at me innocently while
he was eating.

     "Oh," He said with his thick southern accent. "I
am sorry, its just this food is so good."

     "No, no its fine."

     He wiped his hands with his napkin. "Are you
sure?"

     "Yeah."

     He chuckled. "I just haven't had anyone to
entertain in a while. It's been just myself to
entertain these last couple of years. Course' every
now and then I get offered to go into a bar or
something. I might get a few drinks... I don't know."

     "Are you old enough to be drinking?" I asked.

     "Hell no," He said with a grin. "I got one more
year then I am legal though."

     "So you are 20?"

     "Guilty," He told me. "But I have friends that
buy me a few rounds."

     "I see."

     "Its something we don't speak of round' here." He
laughed. "But hey, its getting late."

     "Yeah," I agreed. "I guess I can go and rent a
room for the night, and find out tomorrow if my car is
going to be fixed."

     Ray looked at me with puzzled look.

     "What?" I asked.

     "Did you really think I was going to let you
check into a motel room? What kind of boy would I be
if I did that?"

* *                 **           **                **

     I ended up telling Ray on the way to his home
about Lana coming to get me. I left the part about
Justin out.

     "Well, I'll still see if I can get Jed to fix
it." Ray told me peering out of the windshield. "That
way you can just follow her home... She sounds like a
nice girl."

     "She is," I smiled. "She has been good to me."

     Ray pulled onto a dirt road. It was dark, but
from what I could see, there was nothing but fields
around. We were definately away from downtown Rogers.
The dirt road was a bumpy one, and it seemed to
stretch on for miles. After a good five minutes, Ray
turned the truck to the right and past a gate that was
marked HIGGINS RANCH. All around us, there seemed to
be nothing but grass.

     "There is my home, right there." Ray said
pointing to a dark outline not too far ahead.

     We reached his house a few moments later. His
porch light was on, so I was able to see that it was a
two story home. It looked like one of them classic
houses you saw in those old western shows.

     When I got out of the truck, I took a deep breath
and inhaled the nighttime air. The air smelled so
fresh. Once again, I was reminded of Texas. I really
was beginning to miss it.

     "This is my ranch," Ray said coming to my side of
the truck. "Been in my family for years."

     I just smiled, and followed him up onto the
porch.

     "Don't think I am a messy person," Ray told me as
he opened the door. "I just... well alright I am
messy. But I didn't think I would be having company."

     I laughed as I entered the house. We stood in the
living room. I looked around in awe. It didn't seem as
old as it did on the outside. In fact, it looked like
it had just been redone. New hardwood floors, the
walls were painted and off white... and the furniture
even looked new.

     "I had to fix the place up," Ray told me as if he
read my mind. "The place was fallin' apart. I almost
didn't want to for the fact that my daddy's stuff was
all here. But it was just so messed up and everything.
I almost couldn't part with it."

     "I see." I said. "It looks good though."

     "Let me give you a tour then." Ray said.

     He gave me a tour of his three bedroom, two and a
half bath home. I liked it. It had a cozy feel to it.

     When we were back in the living room, I noticed
some pictures on the fireplace. Ray stood beside me.
He got quiet.

     There was a picture of a man, maybe about in his
mid thirties, standing out in a lake and he was
holding up a fish with a boy. I took the boy to be
Ray. They were smiling.

     "That was my first fish," Ray finally said. "My
daddy was so happy. Him, my momma and I went out
fishing for the first time. My daddy was teachin' me
how to cast out into the water - and what do ya know?
As soon as that worm was in the water a fish snagged
it. My daddy was telling me to reel it in... Reel it
in, he screamed.  My momma just stood by watching and
smilin'... She took that picture as soon as we pulled
that fish out of the water..."

     I kept staring at the picture. I couldn't seem to
tear my eyes away from it.

     "Anyways," Ray said turning away and walking to
the kitchen. "I figured you might wanna take a shower,
seein' how you probably haven't had one in a while."

     "Okay," I said following him into the kitchen. He
was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of milk.
"I just don't have any clothes."

     "Thats alright," Ray said. "I'll let you wear
some of mine." He looked me over a bit and then
smiled. "You are a bit shorter than me, but I think
it'll be alright."

     I laughed and turned and made my way to the
bathroom.

     "Towels are in the closet there behind the
bathroom door," Ray called from the kitchen.

     I enjoyed the shower. Feeling the hot water run
over my body. It felt good to be getting clean again.

     I turned the shower off when I was done and took
my time drying off. I wiped the steam off of the
mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked so tired.


     Well duh, Rj.

     Just as I wrapped a towel around my waiste, Ray
knocked on the bathroom door.

     "Here are those clothes." He said from the other
side. "I hope they ain't too big on ya."

     I opened the door just enough for me to reach my
arm around and grab the clothes. I quickly shut the
door. I don't know why, but I felt so self- consience
at that moment.

     I looked at the clothes he handed me. A blue
flannel shirt and a pair of wranglers. I laughed
realising I hadn't worn wranglers since I was a kid.

     I slowly put the clothes on and looked once again
in the mirror. The clothes were big on me. The sleeves
hung down over my hands, and the jeans, though they
fit in the waiste, were too long for my legs. I rolled
the pant legs up to my ankles. I decided I didn't care
about the shirt. It was comfortable. Grabbing my dirty
clothes, I walked out of the bathroom.

     Ray was sitting on the couch as if waiting for
me. He stood up as I entered the room.

     "Hey, that ain't too bad if I say so myself." He
said once he saw me.

     My face turned red and I couldn't help but smile.
"They are a bit big though."

     "Well, maybe you will grow into em'" Ray laughed.
"Maybe not."

     I laughed too. "I don't think I am going to be
growing too much."

     I sat down on the couch, Ray sitting next to me.
He picked up his remote and turned on the television.

     "I really don't watch the television. But I am
sure you do." Ray said. "Is there anything you wanna
watch? I don't have cable, but I do get a few
channels."

     I shrugged. "It's no big deal.I'm up for
anything."

     Ray flicked through the channels and finally left
it on FRIENDS. "Them New Yorkers sure are funny."

     I laughed at the comment. He was too adorable.

     It was maybe ten minutes later that I felt my
eyelids begin to grow heavy. I can't tell you how many
more minutes afterwards that I fell asleep.


**               **        **            **


     I awoke the next morning to find myself in Ray's
bed covered in thick quilted blankets. Rubbing my
eyes, I sat up in bed. Looking around, Ray was nowhere
to be found in his room. Slowly getting out of his
bed, I walked out into the hallway and down the stairs
to the living room.

     Ray wasn't in there either. Puzzled, I made my
way back upstairs. Going into his bathroom, I closed
the door, and did the morning ritual... (going to the
bathroom people) I walked back out when I was done.

     I heard something outside. Walking to the window,
I peered out into the pastures to find a whole bunch
of cows being herded out into the field. Ray was
behind them on a horse along side with a good sized
black and white dog. The dog seemed to be the one
keeping the cows in the herd. I smiled. I had never
actually seen anything like that before.

     I watched a little bit longer as the cows were
finally brought into the field. Ray had hopped off of
his horse and began walking him to the gate near the
house. The dog, waving its tail followed Ray happily.

     I strode away from the window and walked
downstairs and outside, just as Ray and the dog were
walking up.

     "Good mornin' Rj," Ray said. "You sleep well last
night?"

     "Yeah, I would have to say that I did." I said. I
glanced down at the dog.

     "Oh," Ray said when he saw what I was looking at.
He knelt down beside the dog and began petting it.
"This here is Ashe. I didn't get a chance to introduce
you two seeing how Ashe decided she wanted to sleep
outside last night."

     I walked over to Ashe and began petting her. She
happily kept wagging her tail.

     "I think she likes ya," Ray told me. I looked at
him to find that he was looking at me. For a moment,
we just stared at one another, finally I broke away.

     "I saw you on your horse with the cows." I said.
Trying to steer us away from what just happened. "It
was amazing."

     "Naw, just somethin' ya have to do round' here."
Ray responded with a smirk. "Just a lil' somethin' my
daddy taught me before he went."

     The more his father was brought up, the more I
had wanted to know what happened to him. I didn't dare
ask Ray what happened. I still felt now wasn't the
time.

     "Anyways," He said walking onto the porch. "I
hope you didn't mind sleepin' in my bed. I just looked
over last night and you was dead asleep. It wouldn't
have felt right if I had left ya on the couch. So I
took you to my room and I slept in the guest bedroom."

     "Ray," I said. "Why didn't you just put me in the
guest bedroom. I am not the type to put somebody out
of their own bed."

     "Well," He responded, taking off his hat once
more revealing his matted down blonde hair, "It might
be a lil' too late for all that talk now don't ya
think?"

     **       **            **         **

     I asked Ray to give me a tour of his ranch, which
he gladly accepted to do. He began talking about how
his great great great grandparents had bought this
land so long ago and how it managed to thrive through
many centuries. I noticed he talked about his ranch
with pride and happiness.

     We walked around to the gate to the field where I
had seen the cows being herded into earlier. Ray
explained to me that the cows seemed to love to eat
the grass in that part of the field, which was why he
chose to herd them there, then on the other side of
the pasture where he kept the sheep.

     "Sheep will eat anything, but I swear, I have the
pickiest bunch of cows." He said with a laugh.

     "The cows, do you actually ship them off to the
meat market?" I asked. I looked at the cows. From here
they looked so cute.

     "Sometimes," He told me. "Mostly during the
winter, when they don't have really anything to eat."
He pointed to a big huge white and black spotted cow.
"See that one there? Thats Unice. She is my milking
cow. She's been on this ranch for five years."

     "Neat," I said. "But can I ask a question?"

     "Shoot."

     "If this is a ranch, where are your ranchhands?
You know, the people who help you?"

     "Oh the hell with that," He said. "I can manage
this damn ranch here by myself. I don't need no one
comin' round here messing things up!"

     I smiled. He was stubborn just as he was sweet.

     We began walking around. He showed me the sheep,
and one little pig he kept in a little pin.

     "This here is Minnie. The weirdest pig in the
world."

      "Why is that?"

     "Have you ever met a pig that doesn't like to get
dirty?"

     "No."

     "Well," Ray laughed. "You just did."

     Finally we came to the horse stables. Ray opened
the door, and motioned me to go inside. I stepped
inside and instantly took in a foul smell. I knew it
well. Manuer. I kept walking though, the hay stems
crunching under my feet. There were two horses to my
right, and one to my left.

     "These are the horses as you can see," Ray said.
He stopped at the first stable to pet the horse. It
was a pure black horse; its mane seemed to look silky
and soft to the touch. "This here was my Daddys horse.
This here is Tiger."

     "Tiger?"

     "Yeah, when my daddy got him, he wasn't trained.
He was wild, and I mean buck wild. He'd buck you off
faster than a bull at a rodeo. My daddy said he would
have been a pure bread tiger horse if he had teeth."

     "Well he seems calm now." I said watching Jay pet
him.

     "That's cuz he is trained now. Though, he does
get edgy if he is saddled up and rode on too long...
You wanna touch him?"

      I just stood there.

     "It's alright, he don't bite."

      I made my way slowly to Tiger, raising my hand
slowly, I gently went to touch him. Soon I was
stroking Tiger on his long nose.

      "He likes ya," Ray told me. Once again he was
staring at me. Was it my imagination or was it a look
of someone that was starting to like someone?

     Nah, hes straight. No one this good looking and
this straight acting is gay. Then my mind went to
Justin. Ok, nevermind...

      "What are the others called?" I asked. My heart
once again doing its ritual of beating heavily in my
chest.

     "This here is Chance," He said walking over to
the horse right beside Tiger. This horse was a white
one, and it seemed to be trying to get out of the
stable.

     "Whats wrong with him?" I asked.

     "Chance doesn't like to be contained. He seems to
think hes a wild mustang. Always gotta be on tha
loose. But he ain't no mustang... just a regular
ridin' horse."

     I watched as Ray tried to get Chance to stay
still, but it was no use. Chance seemed to be
determined to get out of his confinement.

     "Why won't you let him out?"

     Ray laughed. "You kiddin' me? I would never see
this damn horse again. I learned the hard way. I once
let him out, and ended up having to chase this horse
down with my truck out on Route 9. It was hell gettin'
him back here."

     The horse that stood alone on the other side of
the stables made a noise. I turned around to find a
brown horse staring back at me.

     "That there's Lucky. She is the sweetest horse I
got... If you haven't noticed already, she likes all
the attention to be on her."

     I walked up to Lucky and began nuzzling her nose.
She was so cute. I instantly found her to be my
favorite.

     "You know, she ain't gonna want ya to go once you
start steppin' out this barn." Ray said walking over
beside me. "You done and made a friend for life, I
tell ya what."

     I stood there for what seemed like five minutes
giving her all the attention. I loved her.

     "Would ya like to go for a ride with Miss Lucky
here?" Ray suddenly asked me.

     "You mean, ride Lucky?" I asked. I smiled. I
hadn't been on a horse since I was two. I couldn't
even remember that experience.

     "Sure." Ray said. "Let me go get the saddle and
reins." He walked over to the other end of the
stables.

     I stood there with Lucky petting her. I started
to step away figuring Lucky would probably grow tired
of the attention, but she stomped her hoof and made a
noise, so I ended up having to nuzzle her some more.

     Ray came back over with a small blanket looking
thing, a saddle and the reins. I watched patiently as
he pulled her out of the stable and saddled her up. He
looked so cute.

     Today he was wearing just a white tank top, some
wranglers, his brown boots, and his straw cowboy hat.
I found myself staring a little too hard. This boy was
sexy!
But then, my mind went to Justin. I rolled my eyes. I
just couldn't get him out of my head, no matter how
hard I tried.

     "All set," Ray said. "Here hop on."

     I walked slowly over to Lucky. "I don't know how
to ride. The only time I have ever been on a horse was
when I was two."

     "It's alright. I can just walk Lucky with you on
the saddle. Hows that sound?" Ray asked.

     I nodded in agreement, and began to mount Lucky.
I failed at that attempt. I couldn't get my leg over
Lucky.

     "Here try this," Ray said. He took my by the
hand, and hoisted me over by helping me push my leg
over. I finally settled on the saddle. It wasn't very
comfortable.

     "You might wanna lean back a lil' that way you
don't hurt your... uh," Ray paused. He made a circling
gesture around his crotch area. "You know, those."

     I laughed as he turned red.

     "Well it gets bouncy up there, and sometimes,
well, they get caught up in it if you ain't sittin'
right."

     Ray began to pull on the reins and Lucky started
to walk with him. We were off...

     He walked us out into the open field. I smiled
and breathed in the fresh country air, swaying from
side to side as Lucky walked. It was so much different
here than it was in L.A. No buildings, no cars, no
streets filled with people. It was ... quiet. It was
nice.

     I looked down at Ray. I could only see the top of
his cowboy hat, and his broad tanned shoulders... How
all of a sudden did I find myself attracted to him?

     I couldn't remember liking anyone except for
Justin. Justin had been the only thing my mind had
been on. I started to think maybe I was a fool for
that. Obsessed much?

     "Its beautiful here," I stated before I even
realised what I had just said. Did I sound gay? Would
Ray catch on? How many straight guys have ever said
something was... beautiful?

     "Yea," Ray said. He didn't seem to think my
statement had been a little too femalish. "I think its
nice here too. Course' its all I've ever known."

     "Ray?"

     "Yes sir?"

     I smiled. Now he was calling me Sir. "What
happened to your father?... You don't have to tell me
if you don't want to. It's just I have heard alot
about him since I have been here."

     "No no, its fine." Ray told me.  "My daddy
drowned. He decided to go fishing one morning..."

     I waited for him to continue. But he didn't.
Though I didn't know the whole story, I instantly
found myself feeling sorry for Ray.

    "If it helps," I told him. "I lost someone to."

    "I am sure everyone loses someone," Ray said. "I
am sorry for your loss, whoever it was."

    It was quiet for a moment, then came "You wanna
really ride Lucky."

     I looked down as Ray stopped walking. Lucky
getting the hint, stopped as well. Ray was now turned
and looking up at me... His brown eyes...

     Without me answering, Ray ended up hoisting
himself up on the saddle. He was now sitting behind
me. His arms shot out and grabbed hold of the reins...

     I was instantly in shock. Rays body was now
behind me, pressing against me, his arms almost
wrapped around me as he was taking control of the
reins.

     "I hope you don't mind," Ray said.

     I shook my head. "Not at all."

    With a quick "Hee yaw", we were off. I was
startled for a moment as we ran through the fields on
Lucky. She was pretty fast.

    After a quick run, Ray slowed the horse down.
"How'd ya like that?"

     I didn't say anything. I must have been
speechless at that point. I turned my head around to
face Ray. He was smiling and then his eyes locked
mine. We sat there staring at each other for the
longest time. My heart began beating really fast.
Maybe Ray was...

      I saw him lean in... My heart began beating
faster. He was going to kiss me! He leaned in a bit
closer, his lips almost touching mine. I started to
close my eyes -

     Until I saw something moving in front of the
house.

     I looked past Ray and focused on what I had just
seen out of the corner of my eye. The house was not
too far from where we sat in the field, so I could
still everything from where we were...  It was a white
stretch limo. And it was pulling up in front of Rays
home.

     "Ray," I said, nicely pushing him back. He seemed
a bit taken back by this until I pointed towards the
house. "It looks like theres company."

     Ray looked back to see what I was pointing to.
Then looked back at me, his eyebrows raised. "Looks
like it... Shall we go and see who it is?"

     Ray once more grabbed the reins and steered Lucky
back to his home.

     "Ray, are you sure we should be greeting your
company with both of us on the horse like this?"

    "It's fine." Ray told me with a chuckle. "It's on
my property, and if they have a problem with it, then
they can leave, don't ya reckon?"

     As we came closer, I saw a girl emerge from the
car. I knew who it was instantly.

     Lana!

     Then came another figure.

     With short brown hair, and a handsome face to
match. Blue eyes that you seem to get lost in; a body
to die for - and a voice that seemed blessed with a
musical gift.

     "Oh my..." I managed to say.

     We strode up to them with me beginning to get
uncomfortable. I had not expected this.

     "Hey," Lana said as Ray pulled on the reins of
Lucky, making her come to a stop. "We made it!"

    I glanced down at Justin. He just seemed to stand
there looking at me. Then his eyes shot to Ray.

     "Can I help you?" Ray asked.

     "Oh, Ray," I said trying not to stammer. "This is
Lana, the girl I told you was coming to get me."

     I felt Ray shift in the saddle. He held out his
hand for Lana to shake. "Sorry, I am Ray. Rj told me
you was comin' but I didn't think that you'd be here
this soon."

     Lana smiled and instantly shook his hand. "Nice
to meet you Ray..."

     Justin silently walked over and stood beside
Lana.

     "This is Justin, Ray. " I said as I shot Lana a
"What the hell?" look.

     Ray once again held out his hand for Justin to
shake. "Nice to meet ya man."

     Justin stood there for a moment as if debating if
he wanted to shake Rays hand or not. Finally, he
stepped up and did it.

    "Nice place you got here," Justin suddenly said as
he stood back. His face was had no expression on it. I
noted to myself that Justin seemed to state that
comment with a bit of distaste.

     "Thanks!" Ray said. He hopped off Lucky. "Not
much, but its home."

     I didn't know what to think when Ray held out his
arms motioning for me to get off Lucky. Hesitant, I
threw myself in Rays arms and let him take me off the
horse.

     "Man Rj," Lana said. "I cannot believe you came
all the way out here."

     "How'd you find this place?" Ray suddenly asked.

     "We ended up pulling into a little diner and
asked someone if they had seen someone fitting Rj's
description," Justin stated. He slowly made his way
and stood beside me. "They told us we could find him
here."

     "A'ight," Ray said. He looked at me. He wasn't
smiling now. "So I guess you are goin' home now eh?...
What 'bout your car?"

     I opened my mouth to say something but Lana cut
in. "Justin is having it towed back."

     I glanced at Justin. He still had a strange look
on his face as he looked at Ray. Almost as if he was
studying him.

     "Oh, okay." Ray said. He sounded kind of sad.

     "Do you have anything to drink?" Lana asked Ray.

     "Uh, yeah... come on inside, I'll get ya
something."

     Lana began to follow Ray inside. I started to
follow them, but Justin stopped me.

     "What?"

     "What the hell made you decide to just drive to
Arkansas?" Justin asked me.

     "Hmm, let me think." I said sarcastically.

     "Don't do that Rj," Justin said. "I am serious. I
can't believe you did this."

     "Did what?"

     "Rj... don't play stupid. You know what I am
talking about!" Justin said. "I was worried sick!"

    "You were worried sick?" I said. "About me? Why?"

     Justin looked at me. His blue eyes looked
worried. Lost. I had never seen that in them before.

     "I shouldn't have to explain why, and now is not
the time." He told me.

     I sighed.

     "What?" Justin asked.

     "When is the time Justin?" I asked. "When is a
good time to actually talk to you?"

     "I don't know..." He said. "Not here."

     I rolled my eyes. "Of course. Nevermind. I don't
know why I try. I assume its always going to be like
this talking to you. I am going inside."

     I turned to go.

     "Oh, yea Rj," I heard him say. "That's right. I
am incapable of communicating with you! Just like you
always run away from everything."

     My mouth dropped and I turned to face him, angry.
" I run away from everything?! I do not!"

     Justin stretched his arms out with a look of
shock. "Look where you are! You didn't run away?! Okay
Rj, thats why you are here in Rogers Arkansas!
Rogers!"

     "Don't talk to me about running from my
problems!" I shouted at him. "At least I am being who
I want to be and I don't have to pretend to be someone
I am not!"

      I instantly felt bad for saying that.

     "What do you mean?" He asked, his voice coming
out in almost a whisper.

     "Nevermind."

     "No Rj, tell me."

    "What do you think I mean? I am talking about
Cameron."

    I saw the tears begin to fill up in his eyes, and
then his face turned red.

    "Leave her out of this," He said. "She hasn't done
anything."

     I stared at him. "Why are you even here?"

    "Why do you think? I care about you."

     "Excuse me?" I heard. I turned around to find
Lana and Ray standing on the porch. It was Ray who had
said something.

     "Are you two alright?" He asked.

     I looked at Justin. Justin stared at Ray and Lana
for a moment and then shook his head. "Yeah, we are
good."

     Somehow, I couldn't help but wonder at that
moment why Justin was there. Did he really care? What
were his intentions with me, now that he was with
Cameron?

     I shook my head. This was all just too much to
deal with...


There ya go! Please feel free to email me your
comments... would love to hear from you