Comments:-
This is Clive again... you may recognise my work such as Grand Encounter,
First Impression and other nifty associated stories (omg sounds like a
simpsons episode!) Any waz I am back with another short story, infact this
is a one parter. So I hope you all like this and I am dedicating this to
several of my friends as listed below. Thanks to y'all :)
Tonny, Yuli, Billy_Burrew, Kyle, Zak, Andrew, Dru, Adam, Abi, Rachel,
Richard, Tom, Steven, Chris, Anthoney, Dayse, Jade, James, Eric
and Many many more
Finally once again I would appreciate any comments (good or bad) to:
bigc79_uk@yahoo.com Thanks and hope you enjoy the story :) Thanks and hope
you enjoy the story :)
Disclaimer:-
This story is fiction and does not imply anything about the group * Nsync or
any other person involved in full or in part. If you are under the legal age
to read such material in your area please leave immediately. The author
takes no responsibility for anyone's actions based upon this work of
fiction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Truth Behind Tear Glazed Eyes
By Clive
The
wind was howling around the small candle that sat
on its own on the table by the open window. Cold
chilling air moved forward and swung around the
room with an ease and grace and fluidity that
became a dancer. The sound and the ice cold
feeling was only made visible by the single sheets
of white silk that acted as curtains in the young
man's room. They were not there to block out
light, more so they were decorative and in the
chilling air they moved and floated into the
center of the room towards the bed upon which he
lay. His body lay lifelessly at ease whilst he
slept, the only indication that he was even alive
the fact that a small mist was formed every time
the air escaped his almost closed and glossed
lips. A small almost frozen tear drop was evident
by the side of his right tear duct, but apart from
that his face showed no other emotion at all, and
yet he was aching inside, he was yearning for
companionship for love for peace in his non-stop
life style. For months now he had spent nights
like these withdrawn from the outside world (to an
even greater extent than normal) to the extent
that he wasn't even communicating with his family,
his friends or even his colleagues. But tonight
was different, he had told his closest and dearest
friend only hours before the one secret that he
had held within himself and the one thing that he
was scared would push the others in the group away
from him. Ironically the one thing he had been
worried about came true...
***
Justin sat quietly contemplating the
evenings events and the toll they had taken on
him, the group and his life in general. To an
outsider his life seemed perfect, he was set high
upon a pedestal, idolised, for all and sundry to
praise and adore. But when the music stopped at
night and the cheers from the fans had died down,
the silence in his life started to settle in. Who
would have guessed that someone who outwardly,
appeared to have everything, could also have so
little. No love, no life long soulmate... wasn't
this what all the hard work and effort really came
down to? Each and every human being was placed on
the earth with the soul purpose to find their
partner and to settle down, and in most cases
start a family? Justin wasn't looking for this,
well not all of it. He was looking for
companionship. Someone to share his glory with,
someone who understood him. But that person seemed
to be miles away and out of reach for the youth
who, even at such a young age, was forced publicly
to act more mature and adult like than most
persons of equal age.
"Yo... Curly, you
coming out?" the voice outside the door to
Justin's room bellowed through strongly with a
force and a deep set tone that could only be one
of his friends, well not just any old friend, more
specifically one of his closest, Lance Bass.
Justin disentangled himself from his bed
covers which he had covered his legs with to keep
himself warm, and after a few seconds of
re-arranging himself and making himself look a
little more pleasing to the eyes he lethargically
made his way to the door. He grabbed hold of the
door handle with a firm but yet not too forceful
grip and opened the oak door infront of him to
come face to face with not only Lance but Chris as
well.
"What'cha doing guys?" Justin asked
in his normal off stage dull tone, but not because
he wasn't exciting... god no... the thing is, he
was the most energetic and active guy in the group
when on stage or performing, even more than Josh
who came a close second. And it was all this
activity that just hammered the life out of Justin
when out of the public lime light.
Chris
stepped forward and placed his hand on Justin's
right shoulder and turned the younger performer
around and started to walk into the room with him,
"We", there was a pause as Chris contemplated his
words (as he normally did), "Lance, Joey and me
were thinking of doing something... fun. You know
like hang out and chill. You wanna join us?" by
the time that Chris had finished asking Justin
both the men were in the center of his room
closely followed by Lance who visibly shuddered at
the temperature in and surrounding the room but
said nothing, knowing that the slightly younger
male had a liking for the cold for some unknown
reason.
"Umm... is Josh going?" Justin
asked as he started to get his stuff together,
picking up this and that, basically just making
the room more hospitable for guest. "I mean I am
up for it, I was just wondering like... kinda"
Justin continued to move and put things from one
side of the room to the other in a fidgety kind of
way.
"We were just going to ask him
actually. Meet you in my room in 10 'k' " Lance
said as he turned on his heals and pulled Chris
backwards with him almost pulling the eldest
member over off his feet. And with that Justin was
left in his room on his own.
The ten
minutes had passed with agonizing speed, it wasn't
that time had flown for Justin, infact he felt it
was the complete opposite. He had literally spent
the last ten minutes of his life asking himself
why he always got so worked up when he came into
contact, or found himself sitting in the same room
as his best friend in the world. After all it
hadn't always been that way, he could remember the
first time that he met Joshua Chasez at his
audition for the television show on Disney. They
just seemed to click there and then, it didn't
matter to Josh that Justin was younger, most
people Josh's age treated Justin as a kid but he
didn't he always made a point of involving the
younger kid in everything and they seemed to form
an inseparable bond. Maybe that was the problem,
Justin felt this bond for JC and had done for a
long time, but he never really knew when his
feelings started to change. The big question that
took up most of his time was whether the changes
he was feeling were for the better or not, and it
tore him up inside.
***
It had been ten plus minutes since
Lance and Chris had stopped by everyone's rooms to
find out if they were up for some fun and as it
turned out (this being a first in a long time) all
five of the guys were in a mood that meant that
they could do something as a group. Lance and
Chris sat on the end of the bed talking to Josh
about this and that, basically nothing of
importance just business stuff that each of them
had their fingers in. Whilst at the same time Joey
walked back and forward slowly, talking to his
brother on the phone about his Christmas break and
the possibility of the two of them getting
together for a while back home in NY. So there
they were the four of them waiting for the fifth,
none of them really worried about his lack of time
keeping, after all it had been a long time since
he had been out or even socialized with the others
'out of work hours' as it was. And it hadn't gone
unnoticed by Josh that Justin was becoming more
and more of a recluse like himself in some
ways.
Justin walked into the grand opening
that was Lances' bedroom suit and the activities
that were taking place in the room meant that he
was able to move in without anyone making a
comment or such like, in fact he simply moved into
the main room and sat down on the sofa and started
to watch Joey going about talking to his brother
(or so Justin assumed because of the friendly
banter that Joey was using) and it was only after
a few minutes of him sitting there that anyone
took any notice of him, the thing is it wasn't
anyone it was Josh... his Josh.
"So... umm,
how you doing?" JC asked with an edge of
nervousness in his voice as he took the seat next
to Justin
"Not to shabby, got some things I
want to deal with C but that is all. You?" Justin
asked with honest enthusiasm in his voice, not
like some of the people that JC had been around in
the past.
"Not too bad either, but I've got
things to deal with too."
"Well you know
that my door is always open to you... in a
friendly kinda way", and at that Justin blushed
the deepest shade of red imaginable... but then so
did JC, 'weird' was all that Justin could think as
he looked into the blue pools that were JC's eyes
at that moment in time... but his gaze was averted
when Chris and Lance came crashing into the two
others sitting side by side and then out of
seemingly no where Joey ended up throwing himself
completely ontop of the group, whilst tossing his
phone to the side with a loud thud.
"Get
your fat ass off me Joey I can't breath," came the
high pitched squeal of Chris as Joey sat
victoriously ontop of all the other members in the
band. But he made no move to get of the others
instead he bounced up and down like a little kid
on a bouncy castle...
"Who you calling
fat?" Joey continued to bounce.
"No one..
I'm sorry... no please will you get of
me?"
"Tell me that i'm the best, then I'll
get off."
"Ewww... Joey"
"And not
like that Justin... now say it Chris... I know you
want to"
"Please will you get off
'us' Joey your the best... happy
now?"
"I suppose" and with that Joey made
his way off the others till his feet were touching
the ground and at that the others all fell to the
respective positions on the floor.
"So what
we doing then?" Joey posed the question to the
others as they slowly made their way to their feet
until all of them were standing in a small huddle
like position.
"I say we go clubbing, it's
been like forever since we did that."
"Crap, absolute crap Chris, you were out
partying only 2 days ago", Lance interjected.
"Yeah well I meant as a group. I mean I'm
kewl with whatever, its been ages since we've done
anything as a group. How about Junior over here
decides" and with that the floor was passed to
Justin allowing him to make up the groups choice.
So what would it be? should they just chill or
were they up for some partying? Looking around the
room at the guys he could see the answer of three
of them with it written across their faces, Joey,
Chris and Josh all wanted to party but Justin knew
that Lance wasn't as much of a party animal as the
others but then again he enjoyed dancing the night
away just like the others. It was no good he
couldn't say clubbing without knowing that Lance
was ok with it so he did the next best thing.
"I'd rather not choose, let Lance make the
decision after all it was him that got us all out
of our rooms." 'Good thinking Justin you passed
the buck to Lance who would just want to watch a
film' and that was the same sort of thing the
other two partyers were thinking as they looked on
at Lance who just stared back at them with almost
no expression on his face at all.
"Clubbing it is then boys" was all Lance
had to say as the other let out hoots and jumped
up and down like children all except Justin who
looked on at Lance with a puzzled
face.
"umm Lance, why did you choose
clubbing? After all you don't exactly like to do
that kinda stuff?" Justin asked him on the quiet
whilst the others were busy rushing around jumping
up and down and getting ready.
"Simple my
dear boy. You all wanted to go" and with that
Lance made his way into his room to get
dressed.
***
The noise in the club was almost
deafening, none of the guys could really hear each
other when they were at the bar or on the dance
floor, so they decided to take a break and head
over to the seating areas that were few and far
between. They finally managed to find one that
they all sat down at and just took in the sight of
the room infront of them. All of them lost in
their own thoughts, wondering if this was what it
was like for the audiences at their concerts.
"I'm going to get a drink you guys want
something?" Joey rose to his feet and the others
nodded their heads in approval of the idea all
except Chris who stood up at the same time and
gestured with his head that we was going that way
so he would help Joey with the
drinks.
"Guess that leaves the three of
us"
"Make that two, I spy with my little
eye something begging for me to dance with her"
and with that Josh made his way back out to the
dance floor and started to set his thing in motion
as he made his way towards this scantily clad
'girl' dressed as if she was out to get some and
she knew it. As Josh started to move gingerly but
yet gracefully towards the girl Justin just sat
there and looked on but not saying anything less
he might make the mistake of outing himself
infront of Lance. Well at least outing his
feelings towards Josh at least.
Lance too
watched on as Josh did his thing on the dance
floor with the woman infront of him, but he was
watching for a different reason. Over three months
ago Josh had sought out Lance's shoulder and ear
to help come to terms with the things that he was
feeling deep down inside. And that was the reason
that Lance was more than perplexed at Josh's
actions. For, three months ago, Josh had come to
Lance with the news that he (of all the members in
the group) was gay, or at least he thought he was.
Lance had given him support and someone to talk to
about his so called confused state and after three
weeks Josh had finally decided that he was gay and
was going to tell the others soon, the thing is
that he never did, or to date hadn't, thought
Lance, and here he is parading around the dance
floor as if he wants to get this woman to bed
a.s.a.p. He just didn't understand what Josh was
playing at...
"Earth to Lance, Justin,
anybody there?" Chris said as he sat down infront
of the other two breaking their line of vision and
thus making is almost impossible for them to see
Josh.
"Say what?" was all Justin could say
as he craned his neck in an attempt to see more of
what was going on.
"Spill it guys what
going on?"
"Nothing, I was just looking at
that girl that JC's dancing with, she's fairly
young don't you think?" Lance said in an attempt
to hide the fact that he had been looking at
Josh... but then again how come Justin hadn't said
anything, maybe he himself liked the look of her.
'Damn I always put my foot in it' Lance thought as
he attempted to apologize to Justin saying that he
didn't think she was that young looking, at which
Justin gave Lance the brush off saying she wasn't
all that.
"Ok... whatever!" was all Chris
said as he once again got up to go and make his
own way back onto the dance floor not to far away
from JC
"So what you thinking?" Lance asked
Justin who was still mesmerised by the way that
Josh seemed to move with ease and fluidity that no
other member of the group seemed to posess unless
their moves were set out in stone and they were
run over and over again."
"Nothing
much."
"So what you looking
at?"
"Josh" Justin said it all too quickly
before thinking what was even coming out of his
mouth.
"Umm ok... what about JC?"
"I
suppose this and that, nothing much really" but
Lance could tell he was lying and for the rest of
the night he watched Justin like a hawk, and the
more he saw the more he realised that the slightly
younger member of the group was in love. It seemed
all so clear now, he was in love with
JC.
***
The guys had all been out partying
away, Chris and Joey hitting on girl after girl,
Josh dancing the night away with the young woman
he had spied earlier, Justin watching the scene
unfolding infront of him and growing more and more
envious of that girl that had JC's undivided
attention and lastly there was Lance, who after
his new understanding of the situation spent the
whole night trying to work out JC and
Justin.
Lance couldn't take it anymore, he
had to know what was up with JC so he silently
made his way across the hallway over to Josh's
bedroom. He knocked ever so lightly on the door
and only entered after he hear a faint and obvious
teary reply from Josh inside his
room.
"Josh what's the
matter?"
"Nothing, everything is just
peachy thanks."
"That is bollocks and you
know it!" Lance's choice of words took JC aback,
after all it wasn't often that Lance used that
kinda language and this was one of those times
that he really wasn't expecting it. "Lets start by
talking about that child you were dancing with
tonight"
"I don't even want to go
there."
"I think it's a little late, what
was all that stuff, let me get this right... umm
I spy with my little eye something begging for
me to dance with her'?"
"That's what
straight guys do all the time"
"Yeah right,
if you say so Josh"
"Fine if I tell you
this you have to promise to not say a word 'k'?"
Josh's voice was authoritative and yet at the same
time had a pleading tone to it.
"Josh I
know things about you that none of the others do
right." Lance paused for a second waiting for a
reply but when he got none he just continued on,
"I haven't told them that and trust me that what
you say to me here says between
us."
Neither of the two in the room heard
the door open between the connecting rooms, like
so many night Justin was in need of his Josh. Ever
since he had been in the group it was an unspoken
and understood thing that Justin would go to JC's
room at night out of being lonely or just in need
of company no matter what the time of night or
day. And this was no different, except this time
he heard JC talking in a quiet and heart
shattering voice with the sound of sniffs and
tears coming through in his voice. But it wasn't
Justin that he was talking to it was Lance. At
first this enraged Justin but then as he moved
through his emotions he stayed silent listening to
Lance's compassion and any anger or betrayal that
he felt went out the window. But still he stood
there unable to move as he listened to Josh pour
his heart out to Lance.
"Ok... that girl
meant nothing to me, I just couldn't sit at that
table any more with you and Justin... it just got
to me ok. She was the first thing I saw and once I
started I couldn't just stop. I saw you and Justin
looking at me and that was that."
"That
kinda explains why you did those things... but why
couldn't you sit with Justin and me? I just don't
get it"
"Ok... here goes I
guess."
"Spill already"
"I kinda
have a thing for Justin, you have got to swear to
me you won't tell him please" but before Lance
could answer Josh they heard a faint gasp come
from the corner of the room by the connecting
doors and it was then that it hit both Lance and
Josh like a lead weight that Justin had
accidentally overheard what Josh had told Lance
and before anything else could be said Josh
shouted for both Lance and Justin to leave his
room right away. Lance made it to his feet pretty
sharpish considering the look that Josh was giving
him and made his was over to the connecting door
to Justin's room and moved through the the door
pulling Justin along with him.
***
Both Justin
and Josh spent the evening in the rooms crying
over what was said, Justin because he was
over-joyed that he had found out that JC felt the
same way but that he didn't want to talk to him
right now, and Josh because he felt that he had
pushed the others away and especially
Justin.
It wasn't till the early hours of
the morning that Justin crept into JC's bedroom
and it immediately hit him, the coldness of the
room, and seeing Josh lying there on the bed with
still cold wet tears on his face Justin felt his
heart breaking. He moved closer to where Josh lay
and sat down on the side of the bed, leaning over
he gently placed a single sweat kiss on Josh's
lips and was rewarded by the kiss being returned
with tenderness. The two held each other that
night and talked to each other explaining how they
each felt, and it was then that JC realized that
maybe his worries hadn't come true and that he and
Justin would continue to be happy for a long time
to come.
Thanks for reading my work...
Author_Clive
This story is owned and copyrighted by
Author_Clive