Date: Fri, 10 Dec 1999 13:58:54 -0800 (PST) From: Francis O'Ratigan Subject: From out of the Ashes Chapters 18, 19, 20 Hello everyone, Remember this is fiction and in no way reflects the actual sexual orientation of any of the BSB or Nsync. If you are a minor than you know you shouldn't be reading this so scat!! Come back when you are legal. If you are legal than enjoy the story. Hey every body, what did you think of the last three chapters? I decided to put Jason through some mental promblems. Due to all of the tragedies that have befallen him I figured it was time to have it affect him. Let me know what you think. ************SPECIAL NOTE PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ****************** On July 23, 1999 an author came into our lives to bless us with his story. "When U say Nothing at all" During that time he kept us captivated and inticed waiting for the next chapter to be released. Some of us waited rather impatiently some times sending him urgent e-mails urging him to hurry. But we should have realized that perfection could not be rushed. We watched and waited as Tonny's love for Justin grew. We shouted and cried at Justin when he didn't trust Tonny's love time and time again wondering when Tonny would finally tell Justin where to go. We waited for Tonny to get his day when all would be set straight. We pleaded with the Author when he told us that the story would end with Tonny's death. As Tonny was raped for his love of Justin we cried again. We were shocked beyond belief of Tonny's love for Justin when he gave his Kidney to Justin so that the love of his life would live. Many of us would not have done the same. But Tonny showed us that his love was an unconditional Love a Love without bounds or limits. We shouted out in anger when Brian used his love for Justin to hurt Tonny. We were happy when Tonny fell into Kevin's caring hands. Than we cried in outrage, as Kevin would use that love for his selfish interest and we were forced to watch Kevin rape our beloved Tonny. We waited on pins and needles when Tonny tried to take his own life to end the suffering his soul was going through. We forgave Kevin although Tonny did not. We shed a few tears of joy when Kevin proclaimed his love for Tonny. Than we read on in sorrow as Tonny lay on his deathbed and Justin finally learned the truth. We would have jumped for joy as we watch Justin fall apart but Tonny would have none of that. We read on in tears as Brian finally realized what a complete ass he had been and when Tonny instructed his rival to take care of his true love Justin and love him, as he deserved. We waited beyond hope for a miracle cure. But it wasn't to be. A man created out of fiction the man that touched our lives for such a brief moment in time slipped the bounds of this earth to meet his eternal reward. To the author of When U say nothing at all, Tonny, I say well done. Your story has truly blessed us. It has shown that love, unconditional love should be the love that we should all strive for. Thank you for blessing us with your talent. I truly hope that we have not heard the last of "Tonny the Author," Please do us the honor of writing for us again. God Bless you Tonny NOW ON WITH THE STORY. Chapter 18 (From Kevin's point of view) I walked out of the room and leaned against the wall. I was mentally exhausted. Brian came up behind me and pulled in a hug. "I don't know if I can go on like this," I sobbed into his shoulder. He took my face into his hands and looked into my eyes. "Do you love him?" he asked. "Of course I love him. What kind of question is that?" I asked angry at him for him even asking me that. "A very valid question Kevin. Because this isn't going to end tomorrow. It could take weeks even months before he is back to normal," he explained. "Well I do love him and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get him back to normal," I said stubbornly. "Even it that means walking away from him?" he asked. Tears came to my eyes and I quietly nodded my head. "You might have to do that you know?" he asked me. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that," I said giving him a small smile. I glanced at my watch and decided that I needed to get to the bank so I left Brian at the hospital. (From Brian's point of view) I watched my cousin walk down the hall on his way out of the hospital. His shoulders were slumped over and his head was bowed. He had a lot on his shoulders. I glanced at my watch and decided to go back into Jason's room and visit with him for a little while longer. I opened the door and peeked my head in. He glanced up from the T.V. screen and smiled. "Hey Brian!" he said cheerfully. "You come here to bust me loose?" he asked joking. I laughed and shook my head no. "What good are you?" he grumbled. I looked up angry and bit my tongue before I said something I would regret. "So how are you feeling?" I asked hoping to change the subject. "A little confused," he said scrunching up his nose. "Can't remember the last couple of days real well. I was kinda hoping you would be able to feel in the blanks for me," he said hopefully. "I don't know if that is such a good idea," I said frowning. "Come on please?" he begged. "You are my friend aren't you?" he asked with a grin. "Boy you are a little manipulator aren't you?" I asked laughing. "Come on Brian, I have to know if I am going to get any better," he pleaded with me. Thank God the door opened and in stepped the Doctor. "Good morning Jason," he said smiling at Jason. "So are you ready to get rid of those restraints?" he asked. Jason brightened up at once. "You bet I am. I was starting to feel like a trapped animal in these things," he said eagerly. "Do you think that is such a good ideal?" I asked concerned. Jason shot me a glare that burned with hate. "Yea I think the danger is past. Besides we monitor him 24/7 any way," replied the Doctor removing the restraints. I could tell that Jason was happy to be some what free. "Uhh Doc?" asked Jason. "Yes Jason?" inquired Dr. Rodrigues. "Is it alright if Brian fills in the blanks on what happened to me?" he asked. Dr. Rodriques shook his head no. "Why?" asked Jason getting angry. "Why wont any one tell me what happened and why I am here?" he asked sobbing. "We will tell you when you are ready to talk about it," replied the Doctor patiently. "You've been through a lot these last 6 weeks. You need to rest. And that means your mind as well as your body," he explained. The Doctor left and Jason buried his head in his pillow and sobbed, "what's wrong with me?" he sobbed. "Why can't I go home?" I sat down at on his bed and rubbed his back until he stopped crying. "I don't pretend to know what you are going through Jason. But I'm here for you buddy," I assured him. "I am so fucking tired of everybody saying that they are here for me. Nobody ever tells me what is wrong with me," he complained loudly. "You know something Jason?" I asked him. "You are absolutely right." He looked up at me shocked. "You mean you actually agree with me?" he asked shocked. "Yes Jason, I am agreeing with you," I replied smiling at him. We talked some more than I left him alone to rest and I went off to visit my lover. I snuck into his room and heard the shower running. I sat down in the chair to wait for him to appear. After about fifteen minutes he walked out of the bathroom wearing just a towel around his waist. My heart skipped a beat as I beheld him. He wasn't over built but he was very well defined he was so hot his hair was still damp and water droplets still clung to is skin. "WOW!" I exclaimed. He looked up and the expression on his face sent me into a fit of laughter. He blushed and grabbed his clothes and rushed back into the bathroom. A few moments later I heard some muffled swearing. I walked to the door and softly rapped on it. "WHAT!!" he shouted aggravated. "Do you want some help?" I asked. "Please?" came a small voice. I opened the door and started laughing. Poor Justin had gotten tangled up in his shirt because he had forgotten about his sling. "Hey stop laughing and help me with this thing," he pleaded. I obeyed him and reined in my laughter and helped him get dressed. After he was dressed he plopped back on his bed. I pounced on him pressing my lips to his driving my tongue down his throat. He ground his crotch against mine and we moaned into each others mouths. A loud knocking pulled us apart. I went to the chair and Justin straighten up his clothes. The door opened and Nick stuck his head in. "Hey guys, what's up?" he asked Justin gestured him to come in. "I stopped by to see how Jason was doing," he announced. "What's wrong with Jason?" asked Justin. "He almost had a breakdown and he is in the hospital," blurted out Nick. "What!" shouted Justin. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked glaring at me. "Hey I was going to tell you!" I spoke up in my defense. "Yea right," he sneered at me. "Right after you got in my pants, God what an ass!" he shouted turning away from me. "That not is at all Justin," I started. "Just forget it Brian, I can see what you are really interested in!" he shouted. I just stood there for a couple of seconds and than I stormed out of the room. I spent about an hour walking and cooling off. When I headed back to Justin's room to talk to him I was confident that it would work . I swung open the door and stuck my head in. "Hey Justin, I'm sorry that ---," I started but stopped. What I saw nearly tore my heart in two. Chapter 19 There in bed with my Justin was Nick locked in an embrace with their lips locked in an passionate kiss. I quietly closed the door and walked away with my head bowed and tears streaming down my face. I heard the door open but I kept on walking. "Brian wait!" shouted Justin. I kept on walking picking up my pace. I felt his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off and kept walking. He ran infront of me blocking my path. I tried to get around him but he wouldn't me past. So I turned around to head the other way. "Would you stop please?" he pleaded with me. I stopped and stared at the floor. "What do you want?" I asked. "I wanted to explain," he said. "Explain what?" I asked looking at him. Tears were streaming down my face. Justin reached up to wipe the tears away. I swatted his hand away hard. "Like I said Justin, explain what?" I asked again. "I mean it was really clear who you really want in there!" I shouted pointing in the room. Justin grabbed me by the head and pressed his lips to mine driving his tongue down my throat. I pushed him away and took a step back. "Does that tell you how I fell?" he asked with tears in his eyes. "You cant have both!" I said harshly. "I don't want Nick you ass. I want you!" he said sobbing. "Well it sure didn't look like that when I saw you two kissing," I retorted. He just stood there looking at me and shaking his head. "God are you dense or what?" he said. I looked at him like he was nuts. "He was kissing me! I told you, you are the only one I love. I don't give a rat's ass for Nick." I heard the door open and out walked Nick holding his eye. As he passed me he mumbled that he was sorry. "Did you hit Nick?" I asked. Justin looked away. I took him by the chin and gently brought his face around to face mine. "Did you hit Nick?" I gently asked again. Tears were coming to his face. "Please don't hate me," he pleaded. "But he shouldn't have pushed himself on me," he sobbed. I pulled him into a hug. "I could never hate you Justin," I said softly lightly kissing him on the lips. "Come on let's get out of here," I sudgested. "We still need to see J.C." "I don't want to see him," Justin whimpered. My heart went out to him. I pulled him close. "J.C. can't hurt us any more Babe," I consoled him. We made our way to j.C.'s room once there a guard searched us and let us in. Justin stopped just in side the door. I took his hand and gently urged him in. J.C. was lying in bed watching t.v. When we walked in he smiled at us. "Hey guys, what's up?" he asked cheerfully. "What the fuck are you so happy for?" shouted Justin trying to get to him. But I held him back. J.C. looked hurt and surprised at Justin's out burst. "What is wrong Justin?" he asked. That was it Justin lost it. He managed to break away and pounced on poor J.C. and started hitting him with his good hand. "You have the nerve to play dumb?" he shouted at J.C. I jumped in and grabbed Justin and pulled him off of J.C. J.C.'s lip was bleeding. Tears were streaming down his face. "What did I do?" he sobbed. "Why is every one trying to beat the crap out of me? And who is Jason?" he shouted. "You mean you don't know the crap you pulled?" I asked shocked. He shook his head no. I sat down and shook my head. "I have a question to ask you," I started. "Why was Britney hear to see and what did she want and more importantly what was she doing at South Fork?" I asked him. He got this blank look on his face. "Britney was hear to see me?" he asked. "Why would she come to see me? I can't stand the bitch," he said in disgust. "Hey don't talk about me like that!" said a voice behind us. We all looked back and saw Brittney standing there in the door way. "Could you and Justin leave for a while I have to talk to J.C. alone," she asked nicely. Justin sat his back pack down and we walked out of the room. Once we were out of the room Brittney turned on J.C. "Electric Slide," she said. The change was immediate. J.C.'s face got dark with hate. "What do you want Bitch?" he snarled at her. Brittney reached out and slapped him across the face. "Watch your mouth J.C. I am here to set you free. Only thing how do I do that?" she said thoughtfully. "What I will do is this. I will free your fucked up mind and allow you to return to your pathetic pretty boy self. Only problem is you will be convicted for a crime that you committed but have no recall of." "You'll never get away with this!" J.C. shouted at her. "Oh but J.C. sweet heart, I've already have gotten away with it! Electric Slide," she said again and walked out of the room. J.C.'s face went blank for a couple of seconds. During this time Justin and I walked back into the room. I noticed the bland look on J.C.'s face. He shook his head and looked around. "Hey where did she go?" J.C. asked. I looked at Justin and he went to is back pack and pulled out a pocket recorder. "What is that?" J.C. asked. "This is our insurance ass whole," Justin said pushing the rewind button and than hitting the play button. We all sat there listening to the conversation. By the end of it we were all in a state of shock. J.C. sat there looking at his feet with tears streaming down his face. They were of not of sorrow but of joy. "What the hell is that bitch up to?" whispered Justin. "It looks like she was setting up J.C. this whole time," I said going over to J.C. and rubbed his back. "But I really did those horrible things to you and Justin. And oh God, did I --Did I uh rape this Jason person like he said I did?" asked J.C. in a shaky voice. Justin nodded his head. "No No it's not possible. I could never force myself on another person like that. It's not in my nature," sobbed J.C. burying his face in his hands. He was sobbing uncontrollably now. I pulled him into a hug. Justin just sat there staring at us. We didn't hear the door open and we also didn't see Kevin and Nick walk in. "What the fuck is going on?" yelled Kevin storming over to where I was. "J.C. been brainwashed or something," I said. Kevin looked confused. "Justin has the proof. It is all on tape," I said reaching to the tape player. We took the tape player out side and into a conference room and played it. "What did she mean by electric slide?" asked Nick "I think that is the key word that throws J.C. into his alter state," I spoke up. "Only question is what do we do now that we know the truth?" I asked. Every eye was on Kevin. He was the one who took control of situations like these. He took a deep breath and said the words that I never thought he would say. "You handle it Brian," he said. "I have to much to deal with, with Jason's problems right now." After he said that he got up and left the room. I was in shock. What was I supposed to do? I looked around the room for help but found none. Chapter 20 (From Jason's point of view.) It was to quiet. It was like the calm before the storm. My thoughts were clearer now. I remembered the mean things I said to Kevin and I was ashamed. I knew that I was not in my right mind when I said them but it did not make the guilt go away. The door opened and in walked Kevin with a huge smile on his face. I looked away in shame. He came to me and sat down beside me and pulled me into a hug. "What's wrong Babe?" he asked wiping my tears away. "I'm so sorry I said those things to you," I sobbed. "Oh Babe it's alright, you weren't yourself when you said those things to me," he comforted me. I looked up at him and saw nothing but love and forgiveness. I smiled and kissed him on the lips. This brought tears to his eyes. "I to must apologize to you, for I should have known something was wrong and gotten you help alot sooner. But no I was to caught in the selfish thought that you loved me and I wanted that feeling to last and to hell with anyone elses feelings," he sobbed into my shoulder. I was shocked. I never once thought that Kevin was being selfish. I rubbed his back until he stopped crying. I took his chin in my hand and brought his face up to mine. "But don't you realize Kevin. Your love wasn't a selfish love. I hung on to your love when I needed you the most. You were there when I needed you the most. Don't dare apologies for being in love. Because I sure the hell don't expect you to," I told him. He nodded that he understood. "So how was your day? Did you get the blue prints I asked you to? And when can I see the rest of the gang?" I fired at him. He looked at me and laughed. I stuck out my bottom lip in a pout and he laughed harder. Finally he got himself under control. "I'm sorry for laughing at you babe but you fired to many questions at me to handle," he giggled leaning in for a quick kiss. "Well out with it buster!" I commanded. He grinned at me and walked to the window looking out it knowing that it would drive me nuts. Ok so it had the desired affect. I promptly picked up my pillow and threw it at him and hit him square in the face. He picked up the pillow and tossed it back. "In answer to your first question, my day went fine. I missed you something terrible. In answer to your second question yes I got the Blue prints and I spent the rest of the day linning up contracters for you. And I missed you something terrible. In anser to your third question, tomorrow, and did I mention that I missed you something terrible?" he finished. I laughed at him and patted the bed and he hopped in beside me and put his arm around me. "So are you back to normal?" he asked. "I don't know Kevin, what do you think?" I asked. He thought about it for a while and than grinned. "Hmmm, let me think about that one. Jason normal, hmm no not possible," he giggled. I laughed to, it felt good to laugh. Kevin got up and walked to the window again looking out it. He brought his hand to his chin like he does when he is trying to work up some nerve to tell me something. "Ok Babe, out with it. What is bothering you?" I asked gently. He turned around and sat back down. He looked at his feet and folded his hands and looked me in the eyes. "We have some disturbing news about J.C.," he said pausing. I nodded for him to continue. "Well we found out that Brittney Spears was involved in this mess, as a matter of fact you could say that she was the master behind the scenes. It seems that she has been brainwashing J.C. for the past 7 months," he finished letting the news sink in. "What is this? Some kind of sick joke or something?" I asked. Kevin shook his head no. "So what you are telling me is that J.C. is going to get off. Are you OK with this?" "Babe you have to understand, he wasn't responsible for any of this. He doesn't even remember doing any of it," he explained to me calmly. It should have calmed me down but it didn't. "Bull shit Kevin!" I shouted at him. "Maybe you can buy that crap but I am not. He did horrible things to all of us. He has to pay for what he did!" I sobbed. Kevin looked at me with pity in his eyes. I only got madder. I stared up at the ceiling avoiding Kevin's glances. "Please look at me," he begged. I looked at him and he pulled me into a hug. "You know that you don't mean that?" he asked. I nodded. "He wants to talk to you," Kevin stated. I looked up at him with fear in my eyes. "I'll be right here with you when he does meet with you," he promised. "I don't know if I am ready for that," I whimpered. The door opens and in walks Dr. Rodrigues. We broke apart and smiled up at him. "Did I interupt anything?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Kevin want's me to talk to J.C. about what he did to me," I informed him. Dr. Rodrigues nodded for a few moments and than turned to me. "I think that you are ready to move to an outpatient status. I am recommending a discharge provided that you continue to see me on a outpatient basis. I was in shock. Tonight I would be able to sleep in my own bed. "Thank you Doctor, but why the sudden change?" I asked. "I've been watching you and I believe that you would benefit better if you are surrounded by friends and family. Your desire to move along is an example of that. Kevin told me of your plans to rebuild your house. Your willingness to confront one of your attackers is also a sign that you are starting to face reality again," he said. So that was it, I was going home. In five minutes I was packed and ready to go. We soon found ourselves outside J.C.'s door. I opened it and stepped in. J.C. looked up and smiled at me. Justin got up and hugged me. I sat down beside J.C. and I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked up and saw Kevin standing there beside me. "Kevin here tells me that you want to see me?" I asked J.C. "Yes that is true, I wanted to meet the man whom everyone has been talking about," J.C. Started. He stuck out his hand and I shook it "You can call me J.C., it is good to finally meet you," he said smiling. His grip was firm and confident. I looked into his eyes and saw only honesty in them and tears in them too. I pulled him into a hug and he let it out. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea I did those things to you. Can you ever forgive me?" he sobbed. "There is nothing to forgive. The J.C. that did those things to me no longer excists. You had no control over what you were doing," I consoled him. He looked up at me and smiled. "Now it is time to move on and develop a friendship," I said. "I would like that very much," he said laughing. He had a nice laugh. He also had nice eyes and a good body too. Oh Oh was I falling for him. No it couldn't be. I loved Kevin and only Kevin. I got up and turned to Kevin and asked him to take me home. We headed out of the room and home. In an office 200 miles away. A hand reaches and takes hold of a telephone. "Yea this is Brittney, I want my plane fueled and ready for take off in an hour," she ordered. Reaching into a desk door she pulled out a syringe. "Sorry Jason, but your date with insanity is still on," Well that is it. Please people, Input I need Input. Let me know if you like where the story is headed. E-mail me at frnceso@yahoo.com