DISCLAIMER: This story is pure fiction coming from a mind that has been warped with finals and work and the excitement of the new *NSYNC cd and tour. I DO NOT in any form, shape, or way believe that any member of *NSYNC is gay, and they best not be because I am female and after spending thousands of dollars on them I would at least like to get laid.

This story deals with homosexuality and if you are not old enough to be in here then I suggest you leave if you are and you don't like it then feel free to email me and tell me what you think also if you like this work of fiction tell me that also. My address is whathehell33@hotmail.com. I welcome any suggestions comments a simple hello would be great also.

I guess I should point out that this is my first attempt at I don't know the correct term so I will say slash fiction.


Until Now


2 years from today

I guess I have always known I was gay, I have known since I was a child but as I got older I just became more and more ashamed of it, and I am sure that if it hadn't been for Jake then I would probably be married with two kids by now. But there was a Jake and well...

Sorry, I am probably confusing you. Sometimes I get sidetracked by all the memories. That is why I am telling this story, they say it is part of the healing process and I hope they are right because I don't know how much I can take. See, I am even doing it now, getting ahead of myself. I should start at the beginning when everything started the night I met Jake...

Chapter One

Present day

"Hey Joe, check that one out," Justin said eyeing a statuesque blonde, I turned my head and gave her an appreciative eye because it was expected of me. I had overcompensated at an early age for what I deemed as my abnormality by sleeping with as many woman as possible. Chris would have told me I was acting out on one of Freud's 8 stages you know, the one where you do the opposite of what you really feel. But of course Chris didn't know I was gay hell no one did.

"Look there is JC and Ryanna," I replied as I hurried towards them, grateful for the change of subject, lately I was finding it harder and harder to hide my true self.

"Yes they are and Ryanna looking especially hot tonight," Justin commented running his hands through his hair.

"Calm down there Romeo," Lance replied with a laugh as he stepped up beside us. I looked over at Lance and smiled he was probably the only one in the group I would feel safe enough to tell my secret too, but I knew I never would. I looked past Lance and smiled at his latest love a lady by the name of Jeannie. She smiled back briefly and turned her attention back to Lance. I had to smile again they just seemed to fit. I turned my attention to the table and that is when I saw him...I stiffened but continued to walk, he had to be the best looking male I had possible seen and for the first time in my life I...

"Joey, Justin, everyone over here!" Ryanna called out standing up and beckoning us towards her. I really liked Ryanna she was different from most girls that JC went with. For one thing she was blonde. Also, she was nice.

I walked over to them trying to avoid any contact with the man sitting to her right, "Yeah," I asked nonchalantly.

"I want you all to meet my best friend, Jake," she told us wrapping her arm around his slender shoulders. I looked over at him, taking a good look. His dirty blonde hair was spiky, like Lance's but shorter and he had dark midnight blue eyes. His lips were a soft pink, the bottom one slightly larger than the top and he had a smile that could light up a room.

"Hi," he said softly glancing at all of us, but his eyes seemed to rest oh mine. Inwardly I groaned did his voice have to be so nice also. "Yeah he is probably as straight as a pole," I thought to myself, then I shook my head. I shouldn't...no couldn't be thinking like this. Not when my whole career was based on making girls think I loved them, too bad it wasn't the girls I wanted to sing too.. I shook my head and then realized everyone was staring at me.

"Ya, gonna sit down Joe?" Jeannie asked me, I looked over noticing every chair was filled except for the one by Jake, figures. I went and sat down next to him wondering how much more I could take of this torture, not long it turned out.

"Excuse me I need to use the restroom," Jake said quietly, I watched him get up and walk towards the back of the club before I realized their was a conversation taking place.

"You would leave me for him admit it," JC asked Ryanna sounding hurt.

"Hell yeah I would, but honey he would never have me," Ryanna told JC.

"Yeah and why is that you not good enough for him?" JC asked hotly.

"No dumbass, he is gay," Ryanna told JC hitting his head lightly.

"Really he doesn't look gay," Justin commented

"Well Justin, not all gay men walk around in denim cut off shorty shorts, and a knotted tank top," Ryanna replied.

"Yeah Justin, just the ones you know," Lance exclaimed with a deep laugh.

I knew they were still talking but I tuned them out the second I heard Ryanna tell us he was gay. That was all I could think about. He was gay...Jake was gay, and for maybe the first time in my life I knew what I wanted. I wanted Jake. How I was going to get him...well that is a completely different story.