Brian stood still on the sofa wondering if it was just him or Nick was actually crying in that bedroom. What right did he have to cry? It was him the one who ruined it all! Nick played with him, with his feelings, the deepest he had ever felt. It wasn't fair he was there crying.
Nick was sobbing extremely quiet and Brian knew he was trying his best not to be heard by him. But again, Nick could never hide his sorrows from Brian. He had always been there comforting Nick when he was homesick, helding his best friend, making Nick feel that although his family wasn't there he was loved.
Brian shook his head. 'Why am I even remembering this stuff? I have to bury Nick. Thats what we do to dead people.'
This constant whining coming from the bedroom was driving Brian insane. He was angry. Brian had been protecting himself, and this was getting to him. And by this time Brian hated everything that got to him.
He finally stood up and walked to the room. As he knew there were tears rolling down Nick's face, his hands running through his hair making it messy. And always the same habit of cewing on his lower lip.
Brian walked in so smoothly Nick didn't even turn around, he didn't realize Brian was there until he talked.
"What right do you have to be crying like a baby? I didn't hurt you! You hurt me!" - Brian yelled. His anger coming up from his chest and pratically slapping Nick, cutting him with its harsh tone.
Nick's heart jumped and he faced Brian as a kid caught up in the act of doing something wrong, like sneaking out of home or something.
"Brian... I'm sorry..." - Nick didn't want to fight. It was as if his heart was opened up bleeding and talking, arguing with Brian would make it even worse.
"You are sorry? But you didn't seem to be sorry when we did it! You convinced me you loved me, that was the only reason why I allowed myself to go for it!"
"So, you just did it because you thought I loved you? You didn't do it because YOU loved me?" - Nick teased. He was so hurt he no longer cared about Brian seeing him cry.
"Fuck you, Nick!"
Now it was Brian's turn to cry.
"I loved you! For heaven's sake, you know I did! I wanted to give it all up to be with you, I would've done that if you hadn't been fooling me all the time!"
Nick sighed. Could Brian please play a different song? This was getting annoying.
"I didn't fool you, I thought I was in love, ok? You are just being childish not wanting to be friends again."
The way Nick was talking had nothing to do with the tears rolling down his cheeks, and Brian noticed that.
"Nick, you talk as if you didn't care and here you are crying! I heard you!"
"Thats just coz you are being a total asshole with me! I care about you, I really do."
"I don't need your care. Nick I don't need and I don't want anything from you. After all those years of being together you allowed me to fall in love with you when all you felt was lust. You know how love changes a friendship, there is no way back! And you also knew what a friendship we used to have! It was the greatest! And now... now we have nothing..." - Brian was crying, but in no way he was weak.
The more Brian looked at Nick's beautiful and sad face the more he hated him for what he did.
"You disappointed me, you betrayled me. Nick, you did something I don't wish to anyone, something I'd never ever expect from you! You played with me! I'll never forgive you, Nick! Thank God this break up was this way because it has made me hate you. And its the best thing I can do now. After all those years all I feel for you is hate. I'm sure you are happy with the turn out of your little joke on me, aren't you Nick?"
Nick let the tears block up his view and he couldn't say a word. This pain, this guilt, this world was too heavy above his shoulders. It was when Nick did something he didn't expect to. Something that neither Brian did.
Nick sobbed burying his head on his hands, crying almost convulsively, his whole body shaking, he was beaking down. The pain had finally got the best of him.
Brian only looked at him with wide opened eyes, waiting for Nick to say something. He didn't. Nick just couldn't say anything, he was only crying. He didn't care about Brian being there, he didn't care about what Brian was saying or thinking, all he could do was hate himself for this situation. He was the only responsible for losing Brian.
"Nick..." - Brian asked.
Nick was shaking even more, Brian could see the tears dropping from between his fingers as his hands covered up his face.
"I'M SO SORRY!" - Nick half yelled half sobbed.
He was in such a deep break down he couldn't even look at Brian. It was over. He gave in. He couldn't handle this situation. He didn't want to handle it anymore.
"Nick, why are you doing that?" - Brian asked trying his best to be calm seeing Nick crying so desperaly. - "Why are you acting like this?"
"I LAY TO YOU!" - Nick cried loudly, his voice suffocated in his hands.
"I know you did!" - Brian shouted angry.
Nick slowly took his hands away but still didn't look at Brian.
"Its not this. I lay when I said I didn't love you."
Brian stopped to watch Nick crying for long minutes. No one saying anything.
"Leighanne would ruin your life, I'm so sorry!"
Brian wacthed in awe as Nick crawled up to where he was standing and got on his knees, lifting his head to face Brian, his heart opened and bleeding right in front of him, his eyes suffering in pain, the truth escaping through his lips.
"What you mean...?"
"That night Leighanne came to my house, I shouldn't...'ve let her in..." - Nick was sobbing and gasping, the uncried tears finally running freely. - "She forced, she did... Made me lie to you... say I didn't love you, Brian. I do, God... I love you, I always did! Please, forgive me!"
"Nick, say it all. Calm down, breath and tell me everything." - Brian said looking down at Nick's face.
"Leighanne said she'd ruin your life!" - Nick was whining, crying, pleading... he was in such a way anyone could shock. He couldn't remember a time he had been so bad, but so relieved at the same time. He needed to spit it out, for his own sake. - "She told me that... if we got to... together she'd make your life hell... Everyday, magazines, she'd say nasty lies bout you, bout us... She'd humiliate you, to your friends..."
Nick swallowed and went on, this time the words were flooding.
"Your family too. Leighanne said I had to save you, spare the pain she'd cause you if you left her. She would tell the world lies about me and you being girly and saying girly stuff whenever we did it, coz everyone heard us... And... She also said he'd make you sound like a faggot to the whole world. She would do this everyday, lying to magazines, making you suffer, destroying not only yours but the group's image, torturing you till the point you'd..." - Nick gasped and wiped his own tears away. - "Leighanne said you would... would try and kill youself so much she'd pressure you! I didn't want that, I'm so sorry... Please, you have to believe me..." - Nick was crying his whole life through those tears.
How could Brian not believe him? He knew Nick just too much to almost die seeing him like that.
"I... I should've told you this right... when... you... came... to tell me... But I couldn't, I had to do what she said, I'm so sorry! Please, Brian, don't hate me! I know I was so damn stupid..."
"Yes you were! Nick you should've told me everything she said to you! You could have spared us both this pain! Nothing Leighanne could ever do would be worst than living without you!"
"I hate me! I shouldn't've lied to you... Brian, my love is real! My love is true! I'm so sorry, if I could go back on time I'd've never listened to her, I swear! Please forgive me, please don't hate me!"
Brian threw his head backwards crying silently right before falling to his knees too, in front of Nick, taking his face between his hands and wiping his tears away.
"I don't hate you. I had to because I needed to protect myself! I needed to protect me against the most powerful love I have ever felt. The only love I have ever felt... I love you, Nick... you know that!"
He didn't say a word. Nick only threw his arms around Brian and buried his head on his shoulder. Relief washed his trembling body as Brian held him tight.
"Stop sobbing, Nick... God, I love you! And there is nothing to be forgiven! You lay because she made up your mind. You lay to protect me, oh my God! I didn't know you loved me so much..."
"I love you more than life itself! I just can't live without you. And you saying you hated me was killing me..."
Brian ran a hand through his back.
"I'm so sorry, Nick... I was such a dickhead... Please, I'm the one asking for forgiveness. How could I not see that you loved me? Oh, God... I'm so sorry for what she did to you... My skin crawls at the thought I was about to have children with her."
"Please, Brian... don't leave me... I need you in my life... It doesn't matter how, as long as you are here for me. Understand?"
"Shiii... Its ok, Nick. It's gonna be fine now. Leighanne is over. Lemme take care of her. Its only about me and you now. God, I missed you!"
Brian brought Nick's face to his and kissed him, allowing his tongue to finally search over those soft lips.
Nick let out a moan as he pulled Brian closer and deepened the kiss. He was asking for safty, he was claiming the love that belonged to him. And he was finally being able to give Brian his love.
Brian was running his hands through his hair as Nick passionatly began to kiss his jawline moving to his neck, where he could feel the salty taste of his own tears.
"Promise we will be together forever, just promise it, Bri..." - Nick pleaded.
Brian giggled. He opened a wide smile at Nick.
"Yes, I promise. But only if you promise you'll always love me... Coz I can't live without this love, Nick..."
Nick smiled too biting on his lower lip.
Brian smiled and kissed him again, slowly conducting them to the bed.
They just couldn't get their hands off each other, running their fingertips all over the soft skin, making them shudder in desire. Softly caressing each other's body. A love beyond human. It wasn't a matter of what they were, or who they were, all the mattered as that it was right, this feeling was right and it fullfilled their hearts with love, giving a meaning to the so called life.
Too much time waisted... months in denial. Every minute away is a waste when you are in love. And to be with this person can make you own time. And this time was perfect.
Brian took off his and Nick's shirt, letting his fingers run over his body as Nick did the same, making they lay onto the bed with Brian atop. Brian kissed his neck softly, knowing how it could tickle Nick.
"Hm... I can't believe this is happening, Brian..." - Nick smiled widely shaking his head. - "God! I never thought I would have you again... I never thought you would want me still..."
Brian kissed his lips and whispered into his ear.
"I only want you because I love you. I'm only with you because there is no me without you, Nick. Please understand that... I don't wanna breath if you are not around. I need you."
Nick felt Brian working on taking off their last cloths and now he was moving on top of him.
"I can't believe this is happening!" - Nick whined in pleasure with tears in his eyes.
Slowly they rolled over and Nick was the one on top now.
"I love you, Brian..."
"I love you too. Please don't cry, baby..."
Brian smiled at him caressing the back of his neck. Brian had just the way to deal with him.
Nick smiled too and went kissing from his mouth to his neck and lowering his head, placing butterfly kisses on his chest. He could feel Brian's arousal. Softly Nick took him in his mouth and Brian cried out in pleasure.
"Oh, God..." - he gasped.
Nick let go and went all the way up again to look at Brian.
"I'll take care of everything, Nick. I promise."
"I know you will."
Brian pulled him to a passionate kiss and the world was again only the two of them. Nothing else mattered when they had find their way back to each other's arms.
Hm... did you like it?
Just hope you people keep reading this, coz the story is about to begin. Hehehe :: evil grin ::
****** I promise you're gonna love it!*******
You don't think I'm gonna let Leighanne get away, do you? Tsc-tsc. For now no more angst... Geez! Happy now? You were flaming me so much, but hey! I just needed to prove their love was real, deep and true. I did this now and i can go on with the story. Please tell me what you think, i need some kind of support, i've been getting so many flames!"