Author's Disclaimer: Ok, so now it will be the first time I'll describe such scene, so bear with me! I don't usually write it, I confess I didn't feel very comfortable writing it, but the thing is: live and learn. I just felt this story demanded such a strong scene of sharing love. So I wrote it. :o)



TRUST X FEAR

It was so good... waking up in Brian's arms. It was so right... nothing could be wrong, it was meant to be perfect.

Nick and Brian spent a week in heaven with each other. They met the other fellows so that Brian could tell everything he DIDN'T know about his wife's death. Brian remembered Leighanne telling him she'd go swimming but he was too tired to go with her. So Brian slept and didn't hear anything. When he woke up again he panicked not seeing her, so it occured to him to look out of the window at the pool. And there had been her... His wife. Not his love, but his friend.

For all that mattered Leighanne was buried and they had heard all of this.

Nick and Brian were having breakfast in bed, playing that little cute games loverbirds usually do. Only the TV was on, and suddently something caught their attention.

"Hey... Brian, they are talking about Leighanne." - Nick said turning up the volume.

Brian sat on the bed and followed Nick's eyes to the TV.

"Stunning news on the Leighanne W. Littrell's case. The Backstreet Boy's wife. What at first seemed to be an accident may be much more complex than police expected it to be. After hearing the testify of the eldery couple hosted in the same country hotel, it is now known the victim had something like a conversation with a person before dying. The couple afirm having heard this chat, they say it sounded as if Leighanne was talking to a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, something like that. The police has no idea who could it be, they've already heard Brian Littrell, and as far as we know Brian is completely torn with his wife's death. What its gonna be now ladies and gentlemen? A world where you can't feel safe! A place where you can't trust, you only fear..."

Brian turned off the TV and looked at an almost shaken Nick.

"Nick, it was an accident! I didn't kill Leighanne! I didn't kill my wife!" - Brian yelled almost crying.

"Calm down, baby... please... Brian!" - Nick held him tight.

Brian sobbed into his neck for long minutes.

"Nick, I didn't take Leighanne there to kill her! I swear I didn't, I... I don't know what happened. If someone killed her then I can't understand it! Just because I'm not crying her death doesn't mean I did this! I'm glad Leighanne is no longer here! I'm glad she won't hurt neither me nor you anymore! I just wanted to be with you and I asked for it so bad... I guess I got my wish coming true."

Nick looked into Brian's eyes. For all these years of friendship he searched into that blue ocean. For the eighteen years old Nick knew and loved. For Frick, Brian, the one who held him in his arms. The one who kept him sane. Brian, the one who kept him a good person. He owned it all to Brian.

Nick looked into his eyes and relieved washed him all over. Brian wasn't lying. He could bet his life Brian was telling the truth! He didn't kill Leighanne!

(or at least he didn't know he did.)

"Brian, its ok... Lets just wait. Things will be fine. I love you and you love me... no matter what we'll always be together. I trust you."

Brian's eyes shone in happiness.

"Thank you, Nick... I need you, you know that!"

Brian hugged him tightly and Nick comforted him. In each other's arms. The way it should always be.


That night it happened for the first time. During all the day Brian and Nick hadn't got out of his apartment and neither did they answer the phone. They had began the process of living into their own world. Out there it was too harsh. Out there it was too cold. Actually it was freezing.

Brian and Nick had been kissing into each other's arms. For a pretty long time now. Enough to make them bear with hard ons inside their boxers, the only piece of clothing they were wearing. They hadn't even touched each other, they were only making out.

Brian stopped the kissing and looked at his lover.

"Nick... I want you to take me."

Brian said seriously and Nick's eyes widened.

"Really?" - Nick asked innocently.

"Yes... I want to feel loved, I want to feel how much you want and need me, just like I want and need you."

Nick smiled. His voice was husky. He didn't know if from joy or the tears. Maybe tears of joy.

"Thats ok, Brian... I love you, I always will! But I'm afraid to do that... I don't wanna hurt you. We actually... we don't need to do that. I mean, never! What we do is already... already good enough."

"Nick..." - Brian ran his hand over his angelical face. - "I want this. I want to belong to you. I wanna be yours in a way I've never been before. Never thought I would. I want everything we can have. I want you."

Brian smiled and they kissed again.

Nick laid him on bed and kissed his neck and face, very gentle. Slowly he moved on top of Brian, pressing their bodies together, making both of them even more needed of a deeper touch.

Brian softly got rid of their boxers. Nick grinned and they kissed again.

"Er... Brian?"

"What?"

"There is just one thing. I don't know how to do that! I've never done it with.. ya know. A guy."

Brian giggled at how sweet Nick could be. Always insecure, childish and - Lord! - sexy as hell.

"Oh, well. I'm not quite sure either... I just know I want it!" - Brian shrugged.

Nick laughed.

"Jesus... I love you, man... I love you Brian..."

Nick's mouth met his again and at the same time Nick took his hand to Brian's hard on, loving the sounds he could get from him.

Nick stopped kissing to face Brian, but he let his fingers still playing with the wet tip of his cock.

"Won't we... er... need... stuff?" - Nick asked and again Brian smiled.

"Don't you have a cream or something?"

"I'm not a girl. The only cream you'll find here is ice cream." - Nick joked.

"Oh, no! That no!" - Brian grinned. - "Hm... Nick... God!" - Brian rolled his eyes as Nick was stroking him.

Nick placed some butterflies kisses over his cheast until his head found Brian's cock and surrounded it with warmth.

"Hm... yes!" - Brian played with Nick's hair. - "Ya know, Nick... what you say we do it without... stuff?"

"You sure?" - Nick asked letting go of his member and causing Brian to whine in protest.

"Yes, I am. We have no rush... we can go slowly."

"Hm... For me its fine."

Brian looked at Nick and he was blushed.

"Whats up, Nick?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid to hurt you."

"Nick... you can trust me. You know that." - Brian smiled.

"Ok..." - Nick whispered before going back at sucking on his cock.

Brian closed his eyes and threw his head backwards. He was enjoying the feeling of the most sensitive part of his body being in such a wonderful place until he felt something more. At first he gasped when he felt one finger entering him, soon followed by another.

"Are you ok?" - Nick asked .

"Yes... go on..." - Brian closed his eyes again trying to get used to the feeling.

Slowly it got more comfortable and Brian could even feel pleasure from that. Actually, he felt A LOT of pleasure when all of sudden he felt Nick's fingers hitting something inside of him.

"Oh, God, Nick! I need you now..."

"Ok, fine... I can't bear with it any longer..." - Nick was trying his best to control his throbbing hard on and not come only with the sight of Brian moaning.

Carefuly Nick lifted Brian's hips to position himself between his legs and placed a pillow under him.

"Brian, its gonna hurt like a bitch!" - Nick warned. He had done it with girls two times. He didn't do it again because they said it hurt. Coz honestly Nick knew it was amazing for who was doing it.

"Its ok, Nick... It'll be fine."

Nick closed his hand around Brian's cock, massaging the tip of him at the same time he pushed himself slowly into him.

"Hmpf!" - Brian's moan was a mixture of pain and pleasure from the conflicting situations happening to his body.

Nick stopped and didn't move until Brian asked him too. It was being hard. Damn hard, but he would wait the necessary time.

"Nick, you can move..."

Nick thrusted again, slowly as Brian still winced in pain.

"Oh, God, Brian... it feels so good..." - Nick closed his eyes and opened his mouth to whine in pleasure.

"Yes, Nick... please, you can move faster..."

He didn't have to say it again. Slowly at first and increasing the rhythm Nick began to thurst himself in and out of Brian, always looking into his eyes. Soon Nick found that magical place capable of making Brian see stars, and he hit it again and again, until they were both screaming loudly.

Sweat covered their bodies as Brian asked Nick to move harder.

"Oh, God, Brian! I'm almost... almost there, its so good..." - Nick moaned.

"Make me cum, Nick, please... I need it!"

Nick stroke Brian's cock and thrusted harder, hitting his prostate and sending them over the edge at the same time.

"Oh, God!" - Brian gasped.

"Hmmmm!!" - Nick moaned one last time before collapsing on top of him.

Immediatly they kissed. They had made love... for the first time...

"Nick, I love you. We'll always be together, right?"

"Always." - Nick repeated wrapping his arms around Brian and falling alseep with him.


Nick and Brian were waken by the insistent ring of the phone. Both guys opened their eyes and Nick was who picked it up, once the phone was closer to him.

"Hello?" - Nick asked in a sleepy voice.

"Turn on the damn the TV and watch the news, Nick. I'm scared as hell."


Mute.

"Who was it?" - Brian asked.

"Kevin." - Nick answered. - "He told us to turn on the TV."

"Well... lets do it." - Brian grabbed the control remote and turned it on.

The news. THE news.

"The eldery couple makes the Leighanne W. Littrell's case catch on fire. These two people had just reckon one of Brian's pictures as being the man Leighanne was talking to. Sooner than we can predict, Brian Littrell, the backstreet boy, will be back to the delegacy, face to face with the police officer. More news on the case after a small break."

"They are old! What could have they seen! I bet they need their eyes checked." - Brian said turning the TV off. He was shivering.

Nick kept quiet. His head spinning too fast with images from everything that had happened these last days. Including yesterday's night.

"Nick, I'm afraid! They will come after me!"

His head was throbbing painfully. Nick was dizzy. Slowly he grabbed Brian's hand and looked at him. The most deep look they've ever shared.

"Brian, did you kill Leighanne?"

He didn't answer immediatly. And when he did he said the truth. Brian said the whole truth.

"I don't remember, Nick."


WHOA! THINGS GETTING HOT, HUH? WHAT YOU ALL THINK?

Honestly, I want to know what you people think is gonna happen next. Who knows? Maybe I can use some ideas... ;o)

Please e-mail me! LUCIANAPOPSTAR@HOTMAIL.COM