WE WENT CRAZY 4
I was shocked as soon as I heard that words. I didn't know what to make of that, for sure I'd need days or even months to figure it out, but that moment I didn't really care about what to say. All I knew was that I had to get Nick back into that room before he had the chance to escape me.
I ran a little and managed to catch him in the hallway.
I grabbed Nick's arms and he looked at me. I was gotten a little by surprise over his expression. In two years I had got used to Nick being the "bad popstar", always drinking, clubbing, going out with lots of girls, doing whatever he would never have done when he was younger. That Nick had changed, and I couldn't remember the last time I had seen this look on Nick's eyes. I could tell he was afraid. The new Nick was never afraid. The new Nick didn't give a shit about what people was thinking of him, the new Nick was careless and self confident. The new Nick had said he loved me. And now that was the first thing I could say when I found that touching look in his eyes. Touching because it remind me of my old friend. The Nick I watched growing up. The Nick that needed me. The Nick that I loved.
"You... love me?" - I asked. Silly question, but I just needed to say something to make him stay.
I saw Nick sighing deeply before answering.
"Yes, Brian. I do. Can you let me go now? I need to go. I don't wanna stay here. I don't want to hear what you have to say. I just wanna go home."
As Nick tried to move I held his other arm and pointed to the dressing room we were in.
"Let's talk a little, Nick. Please."
I looked into his eyes and he didn't have how to say no.
"Ok." - he whispered.
Just when we got back I realized I didn't know what to say. Where to sart?? What to do???
We didn't want to sit. We stood still, facing each other in the dressing room. I was still thinking of what to say when Nick began.
"I'm sorry, Brian. I'm sorry that happened. I don't know why, I never wanted... I..." - his voice faded.
Nick was crying. It had been almost four years since I had seen him cry and that got to me. Without thinking of anything I reached my hand to dry his tears. Nick didn't stop me, but he looked at his feet while I had my hand on his cheeks.
"Is that the reason why you slowly moved away from me?"
"Yeah. I didn't want that to ruin our friendship."
"Nick, you did ruin our friendship. But it had nothing to do with what you are telling me now. You just began to avoid me. You have any idea how much I needed you by side? To talk, to hang out, to be my best friend?!" - I was a little out of my mind, getting carried away with emotions I had been keeping built up inside of me for years now.
"I'm so sorry... I couldn't be close to you. It was hard. It is hard." - Nick never let go of looking to his feet, he wouldn't look me in the eyes. - "Besides, you always had Leigh by your side."
"Nick, she has nothing to do with this!"
"What are you saying? She has everything to do with this!" - Nick looked at me now. - "You know how much I hate her. I've never actually liked her, and then you married her. Everytime I was alone with you she would come around. Everythime we'd play video game she was around you. Whenever I wanted to hang out you had something else to do with her. And you can't lie, you avoided me too by pushing her between us!"
I thought for a while. He was right. But the reason I turned to Leigh was because I didn't want to... Oh, God. I just realized that. If today I'm with Leighanne is because she makes me not think about that night. Not that I forget it, its just that with her around I don't have time to think... To think about Nick. And I married her because I didn't want to think about Nick...
"Nick, how was I supposed to know how you felt? You never said anything about that night!"
"I never said anything. And I avoided you. Because I didn't want to give in to this. And later because it just hurt too much seeing you with her."
I realized I was still holding Nick's arms and then I let go of him.
"Nick, about Leigh..."
"I don't wanna hear. I'm sorry, Brian. I don't want to hear about Leighanne, I don't want you to do anything but let me go right now. You don't ever need to talk to me again, I won't bother you. I'm living my life, you live yours. I'll never forget our friendship." - Nick had stopped crying and was staring at me.
I don't even know why that made me angry. I mean, what he had just said.
"How can you say you'll go away after you said you love me?!"
"I didn't want to say that. Never! But you were just asking me and rubbing in the fact that I broke my promise. I just needed to say why I did I break it."
"Then if its about this I should say I also broke my promise."
I saw his confused look at me.
"I love you too, Nick."
Yay! Thanks to Kevin for helping me out with the grammar... i'm brazilian, ya know. I don't speak english,. Oh, please e-mail me and tell me what you think of the story so far ok? Thanks!!!!!!