I looked at him statical. Did I actually hear that?
"Nick, please forgive me, I know you wanted to forget everything, but I can't... Everytime I see you I hate myself because I fall even harder for you. I love you! I love like I never loved before!"
"Its not true, Brian. You love Leighanne." - I said sadly.
"No, I love you! Is that so hard to understand?!"
I faced Brian and he was crying now. My head was spinning a thousand miles per second. So, I guess Brian DID feel the same way... But, what do I do now?!
"Yes, it is hard... Everything is so hard... We can't be in love, Brian..."
"Sorry but I'm already in and can't fall out."
Oh, God... these tears on Brian's cheeks are driving me insane. I can't help it, I can't!
I stand up and walk towards him.
"Don't cry, baby... I love you too! I've never stopped loving you..." - I was wiping Brian's tears as his eyes watched me carefully. - "I know we can't be together but don't you think its being easy to accept coz it is not. I want you, I need you..."
Catching me totally out of guard Brian pressed his lips against mine holding me desperaly and forcing his tongue's way inside my mouth. Not that I could be complaining... hehehe. Not at all, its just that... Everytime we are kissing it feels so right I can forget about the world and forgeting about the world is wrong... So wrong...
We kissed during some seconds and he was the one to pull apart looking me in the eyes.
"Why are you pushing me away, Nick? Don't you feel it when we kiss? Don't you feel we are meant to be?!"
"Brian... its not that simple, we have to talk..."
I was still very, VERY close to him when Kevin walked in on us. He gave me and Brian this weird look before saying it was time to take some promotional photos and leaving.
"All right." - I answered for both of us.
As soon as he left me and Brian stood up.
"Nine o'clock, Bri. Wait the guys leave and we talk after the show."
It took me a wonderful willpower to leave Brian with those amazing puppy eyes and walk away from him. It hurt, it hurt terribly.
I was waiting for him sitting around in the coutch and already I regreted it so much. What did I have in mind asking Brian to come talk to me? I couldn't face him, I couldn't! I knew it was just Brian say he loves me and that was it. It would totally ruin the Backstreet and probably our lives. I can't, ok? I'm just not the kind of person to keep his feelings down. If Brian touches me I know I won't stop...
Er..., ok you smartass, now I have a hard on... Thats just what I fucking needed! How in hell am I supposed to talk to Brian with a growing hard on inside my pants?!
Ok, ok... All I need to do is concentrate and it will go away. Think about something, anything!
... No, not Brian you dumbass!
Oh, just great! Now I got it worst. Hm... lemme think... yeah, think about your parents! Totally grossssssss!!! Hm... its working!
Yeah... down boy, down... Hm... Brian shoud be here already. Oh God I could still remember the way his lips felt pressed against mine today! Oh, man, oh, no! The way he begged me when he was about to... oh, well. Fine! I can't think with the right head now.
Oh, oh! The the door being forced? Brian? Yeah, probably.
I stood up to open the door and Brian gave me a sheepish 'hey' before coming in and sitting on the coutch with me.
"So, what are we gonna talk about?" - he asked.
"The reason why we can't be together." - I said.
"Ok. Go on and explain me coz I don't understand."
"Brian! You are married... would you break up with Leighanne to be with me?"
Brian took my hand. I was sweating cold already.
"Nick, I would do anything for you. I just don't udnerstand why are you making it so difficult!"
"Ok, ok... lets pretend you do split up with her. What about it? What if the boys don't accept me and you, ya know... being together... as a couple? What if we ruin the Backstreet?"
"Nick! This would never happen! Those boys, Kevin, J and Howie, they love us! They would always want what is better for us! Don't you agree?"
I thought for a while. Brian was right.
"What about your family?" - I asked. - "What are your parents gonna say?"
"Nick..." - Brian sighed. - "Suppose your parents tell you that if we want to be with one another they won't love you anymore..."
"This would never happen!"
"Thats my point, Nick! Neither your parents nor mine would ever stop loving us, I mean, being with you makes me the happiest person in this world, do you really think our family would do anything to spoil it?"
I looked down. Brian had still my hand between his. I know we were talking about serious stuff, but hey, I was getting hard! He is just so gentle, so loving... How can I spend the rest of my life without him?
"I don't know... I just fear for you coz your family is all religious, ya know. You are too. The Bible says..."
"The Bible and the religion says God gave us life for us to be happy, for us to love. Loving you ain't a sin, its the best thing that has ever happened to me!"
Oh, my God... This was so hard...
"But, Brian! Have you ever thought what it will be like when you break up with Leigh? The whole world will know about us! Can you handle walking on the street hearing people call you faggot behind your back or even in front of you?!"
"We are not that, Nick! And its not like some people don't do that already!"
We couldn't help but giggling. It was true.
"You are saying you''d go through all this to be with me?" - I had to ask that.
"Yes, Nick." - Brian ran his hand through my hair. - "You know me, I'm a good boy, I always do what is right and loving you couldn't feel more right!"
That is it. Enough for me.
The next second I melt inside his arms and began to kiss him furiously, giving in to all those feelings trapped inside my heart. And I could feel Brian had been just as needed of this touch as me.
Soon I pressed Brian against the couch and got myself on top of him, kssing Brian deeply, running my hands over his face and ripping his shirt. Just as I thought I knew nothing could stop me now.
"Oh, God, Nick... Thats just what I want from life..." - Brian said lifting my head and looking at me. "You are everything I've ever asked for..."
"God, Brian! Stop this or I'm gonna cry." - I smiled. I didn't feel like crying, at least not untill something was done about the bulge in my pants.
Brian pulled me close and kissed me, it was one of those rare times when he is dominating the kiss. His tongue is actually fighting with mine as his hand travels down my body cupping my aching cock through my pants.
"Hm!... I love you..." - I moaned as I buried my head on his neck, kissing and licking the soft skin. I wanted Brian, I wanted him more than anything else. I needed him to breath, how could I ever consider living without him?
As I felt Brian's hand working up and down my hard on through my pants I captured his mouth again and immediatly forced my tongue in, kissing him slowly, teasing him by licking wet spots inside his warm mouth.
My breath was increasing and I could feel Brian moaning inside my mouth. We loved each other and right now nothing could stop us from making this love real once again.
Well, at least I thought so...
Neither of us had heard the noise of the door being opened, but we sure heard the person that came in.
"Oh, my God, Brian! What the hell are you doing?!"
Brian stopped kissing me to look at the person yelling at him. I had still my arms wrapped around him and I could feel Brian getting weak. That was the last thing we needed.
"Fucking answer me! Why the hell are you making out with Nick?!"
Me and Brian shivered. Leighanne looked furious.
hm.... so know the story will catch on fire! What will Brian's wife do now?
:: wonders ::
Wanna know the answer? Please tell me your comments, this will make me write faster! :o)