W h a t   I   S e e
C h a p t e r    3 0 

 by r (y) @ n [windang@softhome.net]


It was a tiring few hours. Well, it started well with just going to some nice places around but when we went into the mall, it was pure exhaustion. Josh and Justin were having a ball with buying loads of things from almost all stores in the mall. I, on the other hand settled with just being their critic as they tried different clothes on. They even bought me some clothes. Of course, I protested but I couldn't budge the two of them. They were gang banging me and I couldn't do anything about it.

Nonetheless, it was fun. It was an escape from my usual routine that was usually home and work and nothing else. Actually, it gave me time to reflect on this new course of my life. I was actually setting my normal life to this one. I'll be jumping from place to place for a few weeks with no permanent place to settle in. It was the perfect road trip that a teenage guy would kill for but for a guy like me who has responsibilities… I don't think so.

One more thing that really baffled me is this metanoia of Justin. The last time we met, he wanted to kill me and now, he was showering me with these clothes that I didn't even wear. I could push the limits but this tattered piece of shirts that cost $200 was just too much for me. Back to Justin, what happened? Did he really settle for just being my friend or is there a hidden agenda lurking around? Gah! Me and my twisted mind. Not everyone has a conspiracy.

"We're done!" Josh exclaimed as another bag added to the heap. We were already having a hard time carrying them and I was hoping to all gods and goddesses that we wouldn't get mobbed. Running with these numbers of bags would be really hellish. "What's next?" Josh asked me and Justin.

I shrugged and then looked at Justin. "Eat?" He suggested. I looked at my watch and it was close to 3:30 pm. Perfect time for a snack or something.

"Cool!" Josh said. "Where?" He frowned once again.

"There's McDonalds?" I suggested.

"That's okay." Justin said and Josh nodded. We walked to McDonalds and it wasn't that busy. I volunteered to be the one who would buy the food. They gave me their orders and left them. Feeding them was the best thing I could do. I just hope that they wouldn't catch the fact that I didn't take their money.

After a few minutes, I returned with their food in tow. We ate heartily and the atmosphere was really light. We were laughing and giggling so loud but not to the point that we were attracting attention already. Still, we were having so much fun and it made me wonder if this was the life that they were accustomed while on tour. Is it pure hardships with rehearsals and preparations for a show or just sheer fun with horsing around with your friends? It just made me look into their career in a different light.

"Man, I am so full!" Justin noted as he belched disgustingly.

"Eew." I grimaced. "Well, you ate two big macs and large coke! You ain't human if you aren't full already." I teased.

"Look who's talking?" Josh commented. "You ate the same thing… with sundae." Josh laughed and I just rolled my eyes. What can I do? I have a big appetite. I looked at my watch to see what time it was. 4:45 pm. "Time to go home?" Josh inquired.

"I don't know with you guys. I'm just checking the time." I replied.

"What time is it anyway?" Justin asked.

"4:45 pm." I answered.

"Wow! I didn't know that we were here for so long! This is the first time I had such a great time once again." Josh commented.

"Duh! You were moping the whole time you parted ways with Kyle." Justin retorted rolling his eyes.

"We all know that already. Moving on…" Josh tried to change the subject. I think he was still a little uncomfortable dealing with that part of our relationship. Well, I myself was feeling that too. It was a major trial in our relationship and I am always thankful that we overcame that. Maybe it made us stronger. "I think we should head home. We have a flight to catch tomorrow." He said sedately.

I subtly gave his hand a squeeze that got me one of his amazing grins. We stood up and we all gathered all our bags - mostly theirs - and headed to my car. I just hope that we would fit inside.

It was a little tight but we managed. The radio was blaring even if it has a mediocre sound system. It was nice though. Josh and Justin were singing on top of their lungs with different hits that you wouldn't imagine them sing. They sang songs from Eminem, J.Lo, and a lot others. I even joined in a few songs but I knew that my voice wasn't really that much compared to Justin and JC. "Don't you just love this song and this band?" I asked them when Drowning of the Backstreet Boys began to play.

"Traitor!" Justin gasped as he put on a look of feigned shock.

"Don't pretend you're sorry, no you're not…" I started to sing. Justin lunged to the stereo and shut it off. "Hey! I love that song! It's better than those NSuck!" I said.

"I think NSuck is better than those Backstink Boys." Josh said seriously. "I mean, they are way hotter than those old grumpy men."

"Look who's talking." Justin mumbled close to my ear.

"I heard that!" Josh said glaring at Justin. "And I am not old. I am just mature and sophisticated." Josh haughtily said. I was giggling beside him trying to drive still.

The light mood went on as we traveled to my house. We joked and shared some more stories. Most were funny even if they were embarrassing. We survived and when we reached my house, it was like we already knew each other because of the different stories we told about ourselves. I parked my car and shut off the engine.

We carried the bags inside and nothing seemed to have changed while we were gone. "Did you fix your luggage already?" I asked them. They both shook their heads. "Fix your bags. You do know that we have an early flight tomorrow."

"Jeez, you sound like Lance." Justin said as he climbed the flight of stairs next to Josh who was having a hard time balancing the number of bags that he was holding.

"Yeah, yeah." I said as I followed them upstairs. I wanted to help Josh pack because I knew that we were gonna have to talk about things to bring and things to leave behind like the time when he left for this tour. Justin walked to the guestroom while we walked into my room. "Are you gonna bring all of those?" I asked pointing at the bags he was carrying and to the clothes that I placed inside my closet. I moved some of my clothes to give him space.

"I'm actually thinking of leaving some." Josh replied that made me smile brightly. "It's just logical since we practically live at each other's homes!" Josh chuckled.

"And I'm helping you packing! We don't want stuff that we won't need in tour." I said walking to him and gave him a peck at the lips.

"Aaaw, you're gonna spoil my style! The next thing I know, I'm dressing up like Lance or you!" Josh teased.

"Hey! I have an impeccable fashion sense!" I said in one of those foreign accents that most designers have. It just made him laugh and I was laughing with him as well. Once we settled down, we proceeded to the arduous task of packing Mr. Joshua Scott Chasez's luggage and it's a tough one.

We debated on lots of articles of clothes. He kept on reasoning that it looked great on him. Even if everything looks great on him in our point of view, I know that the world has a different one and from their point of view, it's not happening. We settled in some compromises with some outlandish clothes and it was actually fun. I have no idea if it was an hour or so but we were finished. "All done!" I exclaimed as I zipped up his second bag. "Only two bags! The others will be delighted." I added. That remark gave me a smack at the arm.

"I wonder what happened to Justin." Josh wondered. I grabbed his hand and led him out of the room and into the guestroom where Justin was zipping his luggage as well. "Done too?" Josh asked.

"Duh." Justin replied rolling his eyes.

"What do you wanna do now?" I asked them.

"Have sex?" I heard Josh whisper that made me blush a little bit. I was eyeing Justin as well hoping that he didn't hear that. Well, I knew that the sexual tension between Josh and I was a little bit high since we haven't had sex since Justin arrived. We were too busy entertaining Justin.

"I don't know really. There's just nothing to do anymore." Justin said sitting down on the bed.

"I know, I know! Truth or dare!" Josh suggested enthusiastically.

"I think we are too old for those kind of games." I dismissed as I rolled my eyes. "And I'm not that crazy or drunk enough to do any dares."

"You are no fun." Josh said pouting.

"You two think of something while I call my brother to tell him what time he should come here tomorrow." I told them as I walked out of the room. I called Paul from my bedroom and told him that he should be here around 9:00 am. He sounded a little bit off still but he sounded cheerier than yesterday which was great.

When I returned in Justin's room, they were on the same spot where I left them. "Well?" I asked.

"There's really nothing to do!" Justin whined.

"Yeah!" Josh added.

"You popstars are just big whiners." I informed them. I looked at my watch and it read 7:00pm. "Do you want to eat dinner now? I'm gonna order pizza."

"Pizza!" The two exclaimed enthusiastically. I looked at them weirdly and left them shaking my head. I walked to the kitchen because the telephone number for pizza was there. "I want pepperoni!" Justin said happily.

"I want everything in mine!" Josh said.

"Are you sure that it's okay for you to eat this? It seems that you haven't eaten pizza for weeks." I chuckled and the two just looked guilty. I stopped. "Care to share that bit of information with me?" I asked them.

"Wade forbade us to eat those kind of food because we weren't performing well." Justin told him.

"So we can't order pizza?" I asked them and they nodded slowly. "And that meant that McDonalds are not allowed too?"

"Yeah." Josh answered. "But we know why we weren't performing well. I was just lovesick! Can we now eat pizza? Please!!!" Josh pleaded.

"I don't want to get you guys in trouble." I told them.

"Nonsense! What Wade doesn't know won't kill him." Justin answered with a cheesy grin. I sighed and just gave them the phone. They cheered. "What do you want?"

"I just want a basic cheese pizza with extra cheese." I informed them and they raised their eyebrows. "What?" I asked exasperated.

"Eeeeeeeeew!" They both said annoyingly. I just rolled my eyes. Justin talked/flirted with the guy/girl from the pizza house. "Are you excited?" Josh asked me as we sat down on one of the chairs.

"Excited for what?" I asked back.

"The tour!" Josh replied.

"Not really." I answered.

"Why? You should be! We'll be going around the country meeting new people and seeing new things. And to top that, you are gonna spend that with me." Josh told me with a big smile.

"Oh yeah, that's sad." I kidded. "I'm trying not to see this as a big thing. All I'm thinking is that I'm spending a few weeks with you and not the going-to-new-places part of that." I told him. He cooed and gave me a kiss.

"I love you so so much!" Josh said.

"I love you much much more." I answered back with a giggle.

"No! I love you the most." Josh shot back.

"You're disgusting. Both of you." Justin said blandly who has this sour expression. "I don't think I can finish my pizza later on because of this. Eeew, I now know where you get all of your cheesiness." Justin said. I just rolled my eyes.

We all returned to the den and watched some MTV waiting for our pizza to arrive. "Do you have beer or something to drink?" Justin asked. I have a hunch that Justin wanted us drunk tonight even if we were gonna fly out tomorrow to God knows where.

"I think there are a few cans in the fridge. It's in the farthest corner because I seldom drink." I informed him. He nodded and stood up.

"I'm gonna go to the kitchen so better tell me what you want." Justin offered.

"Water for me." I said plainly.

"Too bad. I'm the one getting and I say we all get something to buzz us." Justin told us with a grin and left us.

"Why did he bother to ask us then?" I asked to no one in particular.

"He's just being polite." Josh defended. I just rolled my eyes and stared at the television. Justin returned shortly with three cans of Bud and gave us each.

"When I went to Cali, I told myself that I won't get myself drunk again because of the horrible hangover." I told them.

"Don't be a sissy. Drink up! I think there's more there." Justin said.

After a few more minutes, we heard a knock at the door. I was about to get it but Justin was already running like a toddler chanting 'pizza, pizza.' I hope that he wouldn't scare the pizza boy or girl. Who am I kidding? The pizza person won't even be scared with Justin; they're gonna fall in his charm!

Justin returned with the pizza and handed us ours. I could already smell the cheese. "Don't you love cheese?" I asked as I smelled the fragrance of the melted cheese on the pizza.

"NO." They both answered me and then we all laughed.

"How can't you not love them? You sing them songs like that all the time!" I joked that garnered glares and pillows flying to my face. I knew I deserved that but it was all for the glory of having fun. I just laughed some more and ate my ultra-favorite cheese pizza with extra cheese.

We were having a little buzz already after a few more drinks. I relented with the alcohol drinking by bringing out the JD that I kept (in case of emergencies). I thought that fun was fun and there's no pure fun without a little influence of alcohol. Our inhibitions were practically gone as we told stories from our past that shouldn't even been talked about. Mostly, they're embarrassing stories that you wanna bury.

"The only hot thing I did was in one of those glory holes." Josh told us as he drank the shot of JD.

"Glory holes?! My uni was filled with those. If I could just make the bathroom as my classroom, I would have done it with all the cocks and asses that was being offered freely." I said. "But I think my wildest was a threesome."

"You had a threesome before?" Justin and Josh said at the same time.

"It was in college! My then boyfriend, Ken and me were in one of those moods and we just picked up a guy in a bar and brought him home. Man, it was one hot night. 3 pairs of hands moving and groping." I told them.

"Man, that's totally hot." Josh said as he laid back.

"You can tell me about it." Justin added. Silence then covered the room. Food was finished. We were drunk already. The next thing I got was Josh's lips on mine as he groped Justin who was nuzzling at my ear and groping my crotch.

The feeling was intense and that's the last thing I remembered until everything went blurry and mixed up.



Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and EMAILED me! I truly appreciate it very much. It's really nice to know if there are people who are actually reading what I write.

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EMAIL ADDRESS: windang@softhome.net


A big big "HI" to all my new friends in the Nifty Boyband chatroom, Nifty Writers room, and Crazy!!! There are too many names to mention but I guess Dru, Duckie and CJ are my frequent chatmates! So a big "hello" to the three of you! I wanna give a big shout out to my Danish pals, Chris and Danny. They have always given nice bits of advice to me especially when I felt low. I hope you two won't ever break up! :-) And finally, David!!!! Thank you very much for maintaining the Nifty archives. Without him, we won't be able to read any of the best slash stories.