W h a t   I   S e e
C h a p t e r    3 1 

 by r (y) @ n [windang@softhome.net]


The hangover was a bitch. No doubt about that. My head was throbbing and the light coming from the window was just too bright for me. I tried to move to my right so I could turn away from the source of the light but I couldn't because of a body barring the way. I tried then to roll to my left side but there was also a body.

Another body?! That thought made me froze.

I sat up abruptly as I looked around me. Josh was curled up beside me at the right while Justin was snoring at my left side. The blankets were all kicked to the floor and we were laying in our birthday suits only. It suddenly clicked in my mind. Something happened with the three of us. "Oh my GOD!" I shrieked.

My shriek woke up the two who seemed to be having major hangovers as well. "Shut your mouth." Justin said annoyed.

"Yeah! Can't you see we're sleeping?" Josh said sleepily while rubbing his eyes.

"On the same bed! The three of us!" I said aghast. Josh's eyes shot open and looked at Justin who has the same expression on his face: shock and awe. The two were not moving. They just kept on staring at each other. "Guys, we're all naked." I said snapping their reverie and looked at their selves and covered their crotches. "And we seriously need to talk about what happened."

I stood up and walked to the bathroom not really phased that I was naked in front of them. I had sex with them so being seen naked by the two was the last thing in my mind. And the fact that my head was throbbing and my ass was sore was adding to my worries. I grabbed two pieces of Advil and swallowed them hoping it could ease the pain. I washed my face and looked at my self in the mirror. "Just great." I stated as I saw a number of red marks on my neck and chest.

Once I felt a little better, I returned to the bedroom and the two didn't move an inch. They just kept staring at each other. "Snap out of it!" I told him warily. "Something happened last night and I want to talk about it now. I'll meet you two in the kitchen." I told them and walked away.

I was hoping that the three of us didn't have sex but the hickies on Justin's neck and chest was proof enough that something did happen. When I reached the kitchen, I activated the coffeemaker at once. My body was dying for some caffeine.

After a few minutes, Justin and Josh walked in the room clothed. They sat down in front of me but not beside each other. We were all maintaining a distance from each other - even me and Josh. It was just too awkward. "So…" I started.


I stood up and poured us cups of coffee. I handed it to them and we sipped from the cup still not saying anything. We weren't even looking at each other. They were just staring at the dark liquid in the cup and smelling the aroma of the coffee. I myself didn't want to talk about what happened but it was inevitable. We were gonna live at each other's noses for a few more weeks and that's just too difficult with this hanging over us.

"It is clear that something happened last night. Agreed?" I said breaking the silence. The two glanced at me and nodded weakly. "Good. And we have to talk about that. Agreed?" I asked. This time, the two didn't give any sign of agreement or even disagreement. They just didn't move.

I slouched sighing. "We're not going anywhere. It appears that you two didn't want to talk about what happened last night. We can't just dismiss it as something that happened when we were drunk. Something happened and we are conscious about that fact. It is true that the alcohol lessened our inhibitions but that's not an excuse." I told them. "If you don't want to talk about it, then fine. But think about the fact that we three are gonna go to your tour and we are gonna live together 24/7. Something will change. Actually, something already changed." I tried to gauge their reaction but they were so used to sport blank faces; unreadable.

Again, silence.

I was getting frustrated. "Kyle," Josh started. "Will this change what we have?" Josh looked at me intently.

"I don't know. I know that I am still in love with you. And I hope that you feel…" I said.

"YES!" Josh ejaculated interrupting me.

I smiled at him warmly. "But we have to talk about it. The three of us have to talk about it. Did that mean anything? Was that a one-thing event? Did you like it? I don't know!" I told them.

"I liked it." Justin said softly. Josh and I were looking at him. His eyes were filled with hope and longing. "It's just been too long that I felt loved and last night was mind-blowing. Even if I knew that you and Josh belonged to each other, I felt the love emanating from you two. Your caresses and kisses were filled with passion and care. It was pure love making." Justin wiped away the tear that has fallen. "I envy the two of you and I envy Josh more because I," Justin paused looking at me. I knew that look. "I love Kyle still."

My mouth hanged open. I was speechless. "And I love Kyle." Josh said. "No offense Jus but I will never share Kyle once again. For me, last night was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened." Josh said adamantly. Justin shrank from Josh's crude words and I couldn't help not to feel pity for Justin. Was it his fault to feel love?

"Justin, I will always be here for you. Maybe not as a lover but I can be your friend. I don't want to say last night was a mistake because something with such passion and love can never be a mistake. Just treat it as a dream fulfilled for you and maybe for me as well." My last words made Josh's gaze snap to me. His eyes were filled with a mixture of surprise, pain, love and anger. "Josh, my body, mind and soul belongs to you already but there's always a part of me for my friends and Justin is one of my closest friends. I hope you understand that."

Josh just nodded unsure but I sensed that we have to delve into our feelings further in the future. This would either keep or break our relationship at that moment. My relationship with Josh was one of the most important things in my life. "Is that it?" Justin asked.

"I don't know what to say anymore. We recognized that we actually had sex last night. We cannot erase it and we just have to move on, I guess." I shared what I thought.

"It is better that the incident remain in the past." Josh stated. I just nodded at him and Justin did the same but weakly. I knew that Justin was hoping for something after that. The thought that he planned it even brushed my mind but I didn't want to think about that. Maybe we did have a rocky start but Justin is good now. He's one of my closest friends and he would never do such a thing.

"What time is our flight?" I asked them trying to change the subject and my dark train of thought.

"11." Justin answered and I looked at the watch in the kitchen. It was already 9:00am.

"We better start cleaning up then." Josh said standing up. Justin and I followed his lead and grabbed our cups. We brought it to the sink where I volunteered to wash it while shooing them to clean up since I knew that they took the longest time to make their selves beautiful, even if they're beautiful already.

I finished my chore in a jiffy and just inspected my kitchen. It would be only used occasionally since Paul wasn't really a kitchen person. "Oh shit." I said as I realized that I haven't talked to Paul yet. I rushed to the phone and dialed home.

"Hello." My mom answered the phone after the third ring.

"Hi mom! Can I talk to Paul for a sec?" I asked.

"For awhile dear." She told me sweetly and hollered for Paul to answer the phone. "He'll be coming down. You're gonna go today right?" She asked.

"Yeah, I am. That's why I called. I forgot to ask Paul to watch the house." I explained.

"I see. I know that Paul will agree on that. He loves staying at your place." Mom told me. "Here he comes." Mom said and passed the phone to Paul.

"Hello." Paul said.

"Paul! Can you watch the house while I'm gone?" I asked.

"Um, sure. When are you leaving?" Paul asked.

"11 today! So please go here now, okay? I need to take a bath and finalize some stuff. Bye!" I said and hung up. I walked upstairs and noticed that the showers weren't running already. The must have finished already. I entered my room and Josh was there dripping wet with only a towel wrapped around his waist concealing his genitalia. I gulped seeing how hot Josh was. "I'm, I'm gonna go take a bath now." I stammered as I rushed to the bathroom. I didn't see Josh's expression because I didn't even look at him when I walked to the bathroom.

I removed my clothes and placed them in the hamper. I thought that Paul could do the laundry. I proceeded to the shower area and turned the knobs for the shower trying to control the temperature of the water splashing on my face. Once I found the most comfortable temperature, I relaxed a bit and started lathering my body.

Snippets of last night's activities permeated my mind and gradually, my penis rose and the feeling of lust built up. Justin's lips were in contact to mine as his tongue tried to enter my mouth. My cock was being serviced by Josh who was also massaging my chest. Justin's hard cock was being stroked sensually by my hands.

Another scene entered my mind. Josh's cock was in me with mine in Justin's. I was sucking at Justin's left nipple while Justin and Josh were lost in a kissing fervor. I could still feel Justin's tightness knowing that I was the first one in that place. I took Justin's virginity and that shook my out of my fantasy. A wave of guilt washed over me. I shut off the shower and stepped out grabbing the towel hanging.

When I opened the door, Josh was still there but properly dressed in one of his pop star ensembles. He was wearing a sleeveless bright yellow shirt with tight brown pants and his flip-flops. "What time is it?" I inquired.

"It's just 9:45. You have a lot of time. Don't worry." Josh answered with a smile. I nodded and grabbed a pair of boxers from the closet. I wore it and inspected my closet on what I should wear. I didn't notice Josh stand up and it startled me a bit when he grabbed a button shirt and slacks for me. "This will good on you." He commented.

I smiled weakly still feeling the guilt inside me. I wore the clothes Josh handed and once done, we walked out of the room and into the lounge room to wait for Justin to be done and Paul to arrive. When we reached the lounge room, Paul was already laid down on the couch watching the television. Justin was still absent.

"Any instructions?" Paul inquired without averting his attention from the cartoons being shown in the TV. Those were the magic words and I started spewing out do's and don'ts for Paul to follow. I gave him instructions in how to handle bills and other basic stuff. "I should not have asked that." Paul said wryly once I was done.

"Knowing you, half of those are gonna be ignored." I commented.

"True." Paul said with a grin. Justin then walked down wearing a green shirt and jeans.

"Drive us to the airport?" I asked Paul sweetly.

"Do I have a choice?" He answered sarcastically because he was right, he didn't have a choice. We grabbed our bags and placed them in my car. Paul drove us to the airport and we were all silent. The fun atmosphere that the car witnessed for a few days was gone. We were all sullen and maintaining a distance from each other. Paul was glancing at my direction from time to time probably thinking what was wrong with the three of us.

Once we reach the airport, we took our bags out and placed them in one of the trolleys available. I bade goodbye to Paul with a tight hug. "Stay strong." He whispered to me. I will try, I thought.

We entered the airport and subjected ourselves with the airport protocols of inspection and other stuff. It didn't really take a long time and the most tensed moment was when they were checking Josh and Justin's passports but that was solved quickly with Josh and Justin removing their caps and glasses for a few seconds.

We entered First Class and I was seated beside Josh while Justin was at the other side of the plane. He was wearing his earphones and looking out the small window. I wasn't beside the window and Josh was doing the same thing. It was getting on my nerve. Everything seemed so awkward for the three of us and I didn't know how to deal with this because I was uncomfortable with them as well, especially with Justin where I felt guilt.

After a few minutes of waiting, the plane began its ascent. I was going to the NSYNC tour carrying this baggage and I hoped that nothing worse would happen with Josh and Justin having this tensed relationship.



Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and EMAILED me! I truly appreciate it very much. It's really nice to know if there are people who are actually reading what I write.

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on, hopefully you can catch me.
AIM : pseud0ry
Yahoo! : yr_ry
MSN : yr_ry_@hotmail.com

Also, I'm usually in the boyband chatroom.

EMAIL ADDRESS: windang@softhome.net


A big big "HI" to all my new friends in the Nifty Boyband chatroom, Nifty Writers room, and Crazy!!! There are too many names to mention but I guess Dru, Duckie and CJ are my frequent chatmates! So a big "hello" to the three of you! I wanna give a big shout out to my Danish pals, Chris and Danny. They have always given nice bits of advice to me especially when I felt low. I hope you two won't ever break up! :-) And finally, David!!!! Thank you very much for maintaining the Nifty archives. Without him, we won't be able to read any of the best slash stories.