W h a t   I   S e e
C h a p t e r    3 6 

 by r (y) @ n [windang@softhome.net]


Only a week was left in the tour. Everyone was excited for its end because they were all tired from the traveling. The guys were already tired with the performances and you can sometimes notice it in their shows. They were drained. The staff members were tired as well. Even I was tired. I didn’t expect the tour to be very draining.

Matt was very satisfied with my work. He even gave me a 2-week vacation after the tour. I was ahead of schedule and I deserved a little break and some time, according to him. I was so grateful because Josh and I needed some alone time as well. No work. No issues. It would be just the two of us.

Justin and Josh’s relationship seems to be caught in a stalemate. They are still aloof with each other. Well, Justin was avoiding him while Josh seems to make his life miserable when he’s around me. The time off between the two should mend the wounds and eventually, they could learn to co-exist peacefully or be friends once again.

The only way I could salvage my relationship with Josh was to ignore the issue with Justin. He felt threatened by Justin and I could sense a little bit of history there but I didn’t want to pry so much. Justin and I still talk with each other but it only occurs when Josh is away or something. But that appeased us even if we felt like fugitives sometimes.

“What are you thinking about?” Josh asked me. We were laid down on the bed spooning each other. I spaced out and started to think about the things that were happening.

“Nothing.” I told him.

Josh didn’t push the issue anymore. We learned to accept what was said to us. We didn’t pry because we knew that it would just lead to conflicts and we were happy with this.

“ Are you excited about the break?”

“Yes. Matt gave me 2 weeks off so I can spend my time with you.”

“Yeah, that’s great. We can plan out a trip or something.”

“Whatever you want. It’s all about you.”

“No, it’s about you too.” He said as he nuzzled closer to me.

“Strangely, Matt mentioned that I should relax and be concerned with myself.”

“You’ve been stressing with your projects lately.”

“I guess so but it’s a good distraction.”

“Why? Is something bothering you?” Josh asked with a little bit of concern in his voice. I looked at him trying to weigh if I should tell him honestly that I felt a little bit uncomfortable with how things were going on with Justin at that moment or just make a white lie that it’s not the case. Seeing the crease of concern forming in his forehead as he looked at me like a mother hen would, the process became harder.

“I’m just a little tired with the tour.” I lied. I tried not to look into his eyes because I knew that he would discover my lie.

“Kyle, you should have said something to me. I could have done something.” Josh said as a frown formed in his face.

“I choose to be here with you. I take full responsibility whether I’m tired or not. And I’ve been doing my work as well so being tired is justifiable. I have work. I have the other guys who I talk to every time.” I tried to reason out with him but knowing Josh, he already made up his mind. He would be badgering his self about this issue for quite some time.

“I know that but I don’t want you to be tired or feel bored or out of place in here. I want you to have a good time here.”

“Josh, I am. Whatever you do, I am not part of this tour professionally.”


“Nothing. I love you and I’ll do anything just to be with you.” I said giving him a kiss. He just sighed because he knew that I’m stubborn as hell – like him.


The next few days made me suspicious. I knew that something was up. All the whispering with different people and also the phone calls he was frequently making were driving me nuts. I was curious as hell. I already asked around but their lips are sealed. Justin could have squealed or hinted somehow but they weren’t talking so he was out of the question. The others were just too damn loyal.

When we landed in Florida, I had enough. Once we entered our hotel room, I locked the door and pushed him on the bed and straddled him.

“What’s up?” I asked him forcefully.

“That’s the same question in my head. What’s up?”

“I can’t stand all the secret calls and whispering. I know you too well Josh and I know that you’re brewing something and you know how I hate surprises.”

Josh just smiled that annoyed me more.

“See! I know that you are planning something.”

“Okay, okay! I am planning something for our break but that’s the only bit of information that you’ll now. Everything is settled so there won’t be phone calls or whispering.” Josh said and rolled me so he was on top now. “There will be just more loving.” He said and kissed me.

Someone knocked at the door. Josh groaned out of frustration. “Better answer that.” I told him. Josh walked to the door to see what it was while I tried to look decent and not like a ravaged beast.

The next thing I knew Lance and Joey were in the room. “Hi!” I greeted them when I walked out to see who it was as well.

They greeted me as well but gauging with their moves, they didn’t want me to hear what they’re about to talk about so I made a lame excuse to go to the bathroom. I took a longer time using the facilities and when I exited the bathroom, the two were gone. “What was that all about?” I asked him nonchalantly.

“Oh, nothing. Some business stuff.” JC answered. I shrugged it off not really caring about his professional affairs. As much as possible, I tried to push myself away from his professional life. I felt like I’m a fixture in his personal life and the whole world shouldn’t really care about me. Even if he’s a public figure, he has the right to have privacy. And I respect those two sides of Josh. I am grateful that I can be with the professional and personal of him and also the other guys.

I plopped myself on the couch and just stretched my body. “I wish everyday could be like this. Nothing to do except lounge around.”

“I wish I can say the same thing.” Josh sighed as he grabbed his blue leather jacket. “I have another radio station to go to with the guys.”

“Come on! Cheer up! I’ll be listening here so you should be really happy in there or I’ll make sure that someone is not gonna be happy later this evening.” I threatened him jokingly. All jokes are half meant as they say. I knew that Josh was nearly burned out in this tour. I could see it in his eyes. The bright and cheerful pair of blue orbs looked so tired and jaded, and sometimes glassy. The others were the same except Justin who was enjoying his time meeting with new people (mostly in the r&b/hip-hop world) for his solo album. Everything seemed to be new for Justin.

“Fine, fine!” Josh grumbled as he stalked to the door.

“I think you’re forgetting something.” I told him. He spun around and I acted like a lost child.

“I really don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. You’re the one who gives me the strength to be sane.” He told me lovingly as he jogged to where I was and gave me a mind-blowing kiss that made my dick swell. “That’s just a prelude for later.” He whispered that made me shiver in excitement.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you too. I’ll see you later.” He gave me a final kiss and walked out of the room leaving me alone with nothing to do.



This is the 36th installment of my series, What I See. Again, I apologize for any typographical or grammatical errors because English is not my primary language. Please email me your thoughts about the story or just about anything.

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A big big "HI" to all my new friends in the Nifty Boyband chatroom, Nifty Writers room, and Crazy!!! There are too many names to mention but I guess Dru, Duckie and CJ are my frequent chatmates! So a big "hello" to the three of you! I wanna give a big shout out to my Danish pals, Chris and Danny. They have always given nice bits of advice to me especially when I felt low. I hope you two won't ever break up! :-) And finally, David!!!! Thank you very much for maintaining the Nifty archives. Without him, we won't be able to read any of the best slash stories.