Date: Wed, 24 May 2000 18:49:33 -0500
From: Angel Lenoir <angel_lenoir@angelfire.com>
Subject: Re: What is love?  4

Sorry for the delay guys.  I've been without Internet access.  I still
don't have it back, but I decided that I owed it to some people to get this
story out.  Any way a couple of shout outs.  Clive, I'm glad that I met
you.  Thanks for some awesome ideas.  Austin, man what can I say?  You got
to see them and I didn't! :( That's okay though, you're still cool.  Thanks
for the conversations.  Henry, man I know I haven't been around for a
while.  I apologize for that.  Give me a just a bit longer, and I'll be
back online.  Thanks for all the support that you've given me.  I know that
if I ever need a shrink, then I can come to you! :)

Now for those of you who aren't of age, live somewhere where it's illegal
for you to read this type of material, or just don't agree with it, I ask
you to hit the back button on your browser now.  However, since I can't
make sure that you do that, if you do choose to read on then sit back and
enjoy.  Who knows, maybe you'll end up knowing something new!


			       What is Love?
				     4

Last time:

I don't remember getting back to the hotel.  The next thing that I knew I
woke up the next morning with a body next to me.  Expecting it to be Kim or
Mike, I looked over and got a surprise.  Sleeping in the bed next to me was
Justin.

Now:

	As I sat up in bed, I was shocked.  "What was Justin doing in my
room?  Why was he in my bed?  What had I done?"  As all these thoughts ran
through my head, I panicked.  Jumping out of bed as quickly and quietly as
I could, I realized that all I had on was my boxers.  Going to the closet,
I pulled out a pair of slacks and a shirt.  As I put them on, thoughts kept
running through my head.  I was shocked that half of me enjoyed the
knowledge that it was Justin that was in my bed.  The other half was
appalled.  I'd just got Justin back as a friend and now this happened.
What was going to happen?  As I finished getting dressed, I grabbed my keys
and walked out the door.  As the elevator opened, I heard someone call my
name.  As I got into it, I looked back to see Justin hurrying down the hall
toward me.  I didn't notice that there was someone else in the elevator
with me.  It was only as I felt a presence behind me that I started to turn
around.  Then everything went black.
	I don't know how long I was out.  Judging from the stiffness in my
back and neck though, it'd been awhile.  As I tried to sit up, I felt a
hand push me back down.  "Just take it easy," a familiar voice said.  "You
got quite a bump on your head.  I didn't mean to hit you that hard."
	Before I had even opened my eyes, I knew who it was.  To make sure
though, I opened my eyes to see a face that was as familiar to me as my
own.  "Tony." I said with bitterness dripping in my voice. "What in the
hell is going on here?"
	"Tony?  Is that anyway to talk to your own father?"
	"Father?" I shouted and then winced as a blinding pain went through
my head.  "I told you the last time I saw you that you were no father of
mine.  Sure, you provided the necessary fluids to make me, but were you
ever there for me?  Did you ever do anything for me?  Did you ever play the
part of the father?  David was more of a father than you were!"
	"Yeah and look where that got you," Tony sneered, "If everything
that I've heard is true then you're one of them little fag boys.  Who was
the guy following you?  Was that your boyfriend?"
	"Justin?"
	"So that's his name.  It's good to have a name to put to a face.
After all it was such a pretty face.  Too bad that it didn't stay that
way." Tony said with anger dripping in his voice.
	"What did you do to him?  If you hurt him in anyway," I started
before Tony interrupted with a shout.
	"Hurt him?  What about what he did to me?" Tony said as he stepped
over next to me.  I winced a little as I saw one side of his face
completely bruised. "The little bastard tried to stop me.  I had to put him
in his place.  Don't worry though, I didn't kill him.  I just roughed him
up a little bit.  Now that I have you though, I'm going to make sure that
no son of mine ever thinks about touching another man in his life."
	"Oh?  What are you going to do to me that hasn't been done already?
Beat me?  Hell, I've been in so many fights that I'm not worried about
being hit anymore.  Going to try to scare me into submission?  You tried
that once remember?  It didn't work then, so what makes you think it's
going to work now?  Or are you going to try to rip out all of my thoughts?
You tried that also, and it didn't work.  I don't think there's anything
left that you can do."
	"You might have been beat, but son I guarantee you that you've
never been beat like I'm going to.  See this place is far enough away from
anywhere that I don't have to worry about your screams.  No one is going to
hear you at all.  By the time that I'm through with you then you're going
to be begging me to stop."
	"Tony, you can hit me all you want.  You can do whatever you
fucking please, but I'll promise you this right now.  I will never beg you
to stop.  You'll have to kill me before you do." I whispered with venom in
my voice after I'd spit in his face.
	"You'll pay for that one.  Maybe when I'm through, you'll
understand that daddy loves you and this is for your own good.  After all
son, this is going to hurt you a lot more that it's going to hurt me," He
snarled as he brought up his arm for the first blow.  I'm not sure how long
the beating lasted.  I do remember that at sometime, he stopped beating me
on the front and turned me over to where he could reach my back.  As my
stomach and ribs touched the bed, I remember feeling pain unlike anything
I'd ever felt before.  Right before I passed out, I felt the first blow on
my back.  I don't remember how long I'd been out of it, but when I came too
Tony wasn't there.  As I rolled over onto my back, I cried out at the pain
that wracked my body.  After Tony didn't come to check up on me, I realized
that either I was alone, or he was in another room.  I didn't know how big
this place was, but I was hoping there would be a way for me to escape.
After sitting up in the bed for a couple of minutes to let the dizziness go
away, I tried to stand.  Immediately the room spun, and I had to grab a
hold of the wall to steady myself.  As I looked around the room, I noticed
a window.  As I slowly made my way over to it, it felt like pain was
shooting through every nerve in my body.  I finally made it over to the
window and looked out.  I was about two stories from the ground.  Under
normal circumstances I could have made the jump without any problem.
However I knew in the condition that I was in, if I tried to go out of the
window then I would just hurt myself even more.  Realizing this, I walked
over to the door and checked it.  Just as I thought it was locked.  As I
looked back at the window again, and idea hit me.  As I slowly made my way
around the room, I looked for any extra bed sheets or covers that might be
there.  Finding only one, I hoped that it would make do.  As I tied the
sheets together though, I heard a noise outside of the door.  As fast as I
could, I put the blankets under the bed and pretended that I was still
knocked out as the room to the door bust open.  I heard several sets of
footsteps and some unfamiliar voices entering the room.  As they came
closer to the bed, I got ready to jump someone.  As I opened my eyes and
prepared to jump though, I was once again treated to a surprise.  There
standing over me was a guy in a police uniform.  As he realized that I was
still alive, he said something in Spanish to his partner who quickly pulled
out his radio and rattled something off into it.  Then turning back to me
one of them said in English, "It'll be okay now.  We have an ambulance
coming."  And that was the last thing I remember before I passed out again.
	When I awoke again, I was in a bright room.  Looking around the
side of the room that I was facing, I noticed several people in the room,
all of which were in various places to sleep.  As I stirred though, I could
tell that someone was still awake behind me.  As I tried to turn toward
them, I heard Justin's voice.  "Don't try to move Angel."
	"Justin?"
	"Yeah it's me.  How are you feeling?" he asked as he came over
toward the side of bed so that I could see him.
	"Like a Mac truck ran over me.  Did anyone get its license plate
number?" I tried to joke.  "How about you?  Are you okay?  Tony said that
he roughed you up a bit?"
	"I'm fine.  He knocked me out.  Luckily I have a hard head, or I
would have had a major concussion.  Luckily I got by with just a mild one."
	"I'm sorry.  It's all my fault." I cried as tears started to
trickle down my cheeks.
	"How's it your fault?" Justin asked in a confused voice.
	"Tony's my father.  He wanted me.  You just got in his way."
	"What?  He's your father?  How could a father do this to you?"
Justin shouted waking up the others.
	"Tony was never a father to Angel.  He was just a, well to put it
nicely, sperm donor to Angel's mother.  He was never there for Angel.  The
only time that he was there, he tried to make Angel think his mother was
dead.  About a year ago, he showed up in the dorm to talk to Angel.  I've
never seen Angel so pissed off.  He nearly threw him out of the dorm.  If
our dorm administrator hadn't called for security, I'm sure that Angel
would have thrown him out." Kim said from beside me.
	"Oh my god!  How could anyone be so cruel?  Why would you bring
someone into this world if you're not going to care for them?"
	"I don't know.  Ask my mother." I said bitterly.
	"Ask me what?" A voice said from the doorway.
	As everyone's head turned toward the door, I didn't even look.
"Hello mother." I said bitterly, "What are you doing here?"
	"Well the hospital called and said that you'd been in some kind of
trouble.  They said that you'd been beaten pretty badly, and despite our
difference in opinion on your problem I do still care about you. I had to
make sure that you were okay."
	"I see.  In other words you felt guilty for what you'd done to me,
heard that I was in the hospital, and decided to come see me when I'm at my
weakest?  Is that it?"
	"Angel!  I'm still your mother!  You have no way to talk to me like
that!"
	"I have no way to talk to you like that?  Who the hell do you think
you are?  I mean two years ago you tell me to leave your house and life and
never return.  Now you're here trying to waltz back into my life?  What do
you expect me to do?  Welcome you with open arms?  Come running back to
you?  No thanks.  I still love you mom, but you taught me a valuable lesson
that day.  People have to accept you for who you are.  If they don't then
fuck them!  It's their lose.  Mother, you didn't accept me.  Dad didn't
accept me.  Hell you even convinced my sisters I was a spawn of satan
because I didn't follow a heterosexual lifestyle!  Now you expect me to
forget all of that because you showed up to visit me while I'm in the
hospital?  Fuck you!  I don't need you, dad, or my sisters anymore.  I lost
my family that day, but I've got a new family now.  So Denise, if you'll be
so kind as to leave, there's the door, and don't let it bite you in the ass
as you leave."
	"Angel, son, I.."
	"Don't call me son!  I'm not your son!  You made sure of that!  Now
get out of my fucking room!  If you don't leave now, then I'll have someone
call security and have them escort you out."
	"Angel, I'm sorry." She said as she turned around and walked out of
the room leaving the others just staring at me.
	"Just this once, so am I." I said as I buried my head into my
pillow and started to sob.  As I cried into my pillow, I felt a hand reach
out and touch my shoulder.  As I looked up, Justin was standing beside me.
As I looked into his eyes, I saw pain and compassion mirrored in his eyes.
Ignoring the pain, I reached out and buried my face in his shoulder.  As I
cried into his shoulder, he stroked my hair.
	"I'm sorry Angel.  It's okay.  You'll be okay."
	As I finally reached the end of my tears, and got some semblance of
order back to myself, I noticed that everyone else was still in the room.
	"I'm sorry that you had to witness that." I said softly.
	"No Angel, we're sorry." Justin said.
	"Huh?" I asked confused.
	"When Kim told us about your parents, we didn't believe that it
could have been so bad.  We thought that it had been a minor falling out
and that all of you were too proud to admit you were wrong.  After what we
just saw, we realize that wasn't the case.  Would you mind giving us the
story about what happened that day?  You don't have to if you don't want
to."
	"Later," I said as I looked at Justin.
	He nodded and turned to the others.  "Guys, should we get a doctor
in here?  I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to see Angel out of
this hospital.  Maybe if we sweet talk the doc, he'll let him leave
tonight."
	"Tonight?  Oh shit!  What day is it?"
	"Thursday." Kim said.
	"Thursday?  Shit!  That means that I've been out of it for over 3
days!  What about the concert?  What happened to it?"
	"The concert was a success." Mike said, "We had some good help from
some friends of ours.  Besides, I think that they liked having a member of
NSYNC singing with us."
	"What?  Who? Why? How?" I sputtered.
	"Lance sang with your group because you weren't there, and he just
read it from the music sheets.  Speaking of which, Angel, you and I have
got to get together and work on a song together.  Second Chance was a hell
of a song!" JC said.
	"What?  But I'm not the song writer, Jon is!"
	"Well you could have fooled me.  I mean I know that you're the
brains behind this outfit.  I mean they were running around like chickens
with their heads cut off until I took control for them.  However, if you
ever get tired of running everything, I think that you could have a career
as a songwriter as well." JC finished just as the doctor walked in.
	"Ah, Mr. Lenoir.  How are you feeling today?"
	"Well do you want the truth or should I embellish it a little bit?"
	"Well I've always been told that the truth is a good thing, but you
don't have to answer that question if you don't want to.  So I hear that
you want to get out here.  The food not good enough for you?" the doctor
joked.
	"Well I honestly can't make a comment on the food, as I don't
remember seeing any of it.  However, my friends here seem to think that I'd
do better if I was out of this hospital.  But since you're the doctor, you
have final say."
	"Well tell you what, where are you going to be staying?"
	"The Hilton," I started to say but was interrupted.
	"Actually Angel, we're supposed to be in Orlando by tomorrow." Kim
said with a smile.
	"Uh, that's right.  Sorry, being out of it for a couple of days
makes you lose track with the time."
	"That's okay.  Do you have a doctor or anyone down there that you
can see if you have any problems?"
	"We have one that we can take him to." Lance spoke up.
	"Well his records look good.  There wasn't anything broken,
although I don't see how.  Tell you what young man.  You take it easy for
about a week, go to this doctor of your friends, have him examine you, and
if he pronounces you fit then you can get back on the job."
	"Does that mean that I'm free to go?"
	"Well against my better judgement, yeah.  I know how you young
people are.  Especially people like you guys.  All those concerts to put
on.  All those places to see.  I just don't want to see your face on
anything for over a week, deal?"
	"Deal." I said with a smile.
	"Good, now if you'll sign these, I think we can get you out of
here."
	Thanks, doctor.."
	"Doctor Mitchell." He said with a grin.
	"Well Doctor Mitchell, thanks.  Tell you what if we're ever down
this way again we'll try to get you tickets to our concert."
	"Oh that's alright.  I really don't like your kind of music.  My
kids on the other hand,"
	"Okay, we'll get your kids tickets," I said with a laugh.  "Now if
the rest of you will get out of here, I'll have either the doctor or a
nurse help me get dressed."
	Forty-five minutes later I was through with everything that I had
to do.  As I slowly made my way into the limo, I was glad that there was no
fans around.  I expected us to back to the hotel, so I was surprised when
we instead went to the airport.  "What's going on?  I thought we didn't
have to be in Orlando until tomorrow?"
	"That's what we told the doctor.  I doubt he would have let you get
on a plane as soon as you left the hospital.  We actually have to be there
early tomorrow morning."
	"How early is early?"
	"3 am."
	"3 am?  Dammit, where's my cell phone?"
	"Why?"
	"Because I need to find us a hotel to stay in for the next couple
of days or at least until I can find us a house."
	"A house?" Kim said with surprise.
	"Uh yeah, I forgot to ask you all, but how would all of you like to
live with me in Orlando?"
	"Dude, I knew you had money," Jon said, "After all you basically
paid for everything to get us started, but how are you able to afford a
house?"
	"Well remember about 3 years ago when my grandma died?  Well I
swear the lady was psychic or something.  I remember her telling me
one-day, before I was able to accept the fact that I was bi, that the heart
falls in love with its soulmate.  It doesn't matter who or what they are.
You love them for who they are inside.  I didn't understand her at the
time, but when I did it was too late.  She had already passed away.
However when she did pass away she left me everything but her house, she
left it to a local charity to do what they want with it.  The last I heard
they had made it into an orphanage."
	"Wow.  So if you don't mind me asking, exactly how much are you
worth?" Erin asked.
	"Well the last time I did the math, I was worth $35 million.
However that was before some of my stock split.  So if you add it all up
right now I'm close to $50 million."
	"Dude, I have one question for you then." Mike said.
	"Shoot."
	"Why did you stay at college with us?"
	"Well the main reason was all of you.  You became my family away
from home.  Then when everything happened with my parents, you became my
only family.  I couldn't just walk away from all of you like they did to
me, now could I?"
	"Angel, if you'd even tried we would have hunted you down and
kicked your ass." Kim said with a chuckle.
	"Uh oh, the bitch has returned." I chuckled.
	"That's Mrs. Bitch to you, now get it right!" Kim said in a mock
snarl.
	"Yes mommy!" I whined, "Please don't hurt me."  As I said that
though, I flashed back to scene of Tony standing over me.  With a jolt, I
snapped up and looked around.
	"Angel, what is it?" Joey asked in concern.
	"Nothing," I said as I started to calm down again, "I just had a
bad memory."
	"Well everyone we're here.  Let's get on that plane and get out of
here."
	"Okay," I said as I started to search once again for my phone,
"Someone tell me where my phone is."
	"Oh that's easy, I got it." Justin said with a laugh.
	"Well why didn't you give it to me when I asked for it earlier?"
	"Because we already have places for you to stay."
	"What?"
	"Well you see, I called my mother while you and the doctor were
talking.  She thinks that it'd be a good idea if the two groups stay
together.  You know a since we're going to be touring together we need to
get to know each other type of thing."
	"I see.  Justin just answer one thing for me.  Since when is Second
Chance and NSYNC touring together?" I all but yelled.
	"Well since Monday.  Management thought that we sounded good
together.  Not only that, but this way you get to be known."
	"Why me," I mumbled as I crawled out of the car, "I take three days
off and suddenly everything changes.  Why me?"
	"You know we asked that same question several times when we were
first started up." JC said.
	"Oh, and what answer did you come up with?" I asked.
	"We never came up with an answer.  I don't think there is one." JC
replied
	"There's an answer to everything.  You just have to search for it."
	"Well I guess that we were too lazy to search for it." Justin said
with a laugh as he came up and put a hand on my shoulder.  I winced with
the touch and Justin realized what he'd done.  "Oh shit.  I'm sorry Angel.
I wasn't thinking."
	"That's okay dude.  I understand.  Come one we need to get in there
and on the plane.  If someone will go make sure that it doesn't leave
without me, I'll be there shortly."
	"Where are you going?" Justin asked.
	"Bathroom.  Would you like to hold my hand?" I asked with a laugh.
	"Well I think you're capable of going to the bathroom by yourself,
but since you asked so nicely and I have to go to, then I'll hold your hand
for you."
	"Goody." I said in a little boy's voice and reached out for his
hand.
	I heard a laugh behind us.  As I turned around I noticed everyone
else was trying to hold in his or her laughter.  "What?  Haven't you ever
seen two guys hold hands before?" I asked with a smile.
	"It's not that.  It's just that here you are just returning from
the land of the dead so to speak and you're making jokes.  It's just kind
of funny." Chris said.
	"Well jokes are my specialty," I said with a chuckle, "Now if you
don't mind I have an escort to the bathroom."  Upon saying those words, I
turned around and grabbed Justin's hand.  "Now let's see where were we?  Oh
yeah, you were going to hold my hand and escort me to the bathroom.  Lead
the way kind sir." I said trying for a southern drawl.
	Laughing Justin led me off toward the bathroom as we left the rest
of the group rolling in the lobby.  As we reached the bathroom, I looked at
Justin.  "Thanks." I said with a real serious voice.
	"For what?"
	"For coming with me.  I was kind of scared about going alone.  I
just keep thinking that Tony will show up again."
	"Angel it's okay.  Anything for a friend, now let's hurry up and
get our business done so that we can catch that plane."
	As I walked over to the urinal, I was shocked to see that I was
shaking.  As I moved my arms to try to unbuckle my pants, I winced as pain
shot through them.  As Justin finished up, he looked over toward me to see
me shaking.
	"Angel are you alright?"
	"Yeah, I just can't move my hands far enough."
	"Would you like me to help."
	"No that's okay.  I really didn't need to go any way.  Justin can I
have you do me a favor though?"
	"Sure, what do you need?"
	"I need to see what he did to me."
	"Angel, are you sure?  It's not a pretty sight."
	"Justin, quit trying to baby me!  I need to see what the bastard
did to me." I shouted.
	"Okay," he said quietly.
	As we walked over toward the mirror, I prepared myself for the pain
that I knew was going to follow.  As we stopped in front of the sink,
Justin looked at me.  "Ready?" he asked.  My only reply was a nod of my
head.  Gently Justin reached for my shirt, and lifted it up over my head.
Stopping every time that I winced, it took close to a minute for him to get
my shirt off of me.  As I looked at my reflection, I couldn't help but to
stare in horror.  My normally tan skin had gone to almost black from the
bruises on my rib area.  As I tried to turn so that I could see my back, I
realized that I didn't need to.  I was sick enough from just what I'd seen.
	"How could he?" I whispered savagely.  "How could he?  If I ever
fucking see him again then I'll kill him myself!"
	"Angel it's okay." Justin said as he handed me my shirt.  "You
won't ever see him again.  He's gonna be in jail for a long time.  Angel,
we need to get going if we're going to catch the plane."
	"Okay," I said as I started toward the door.
	"Uh Angel?"
	"Yeah?"
	"You might want to put your shirt back on.  Your back is even worse
than the front."  Justin said with a whisper.  "Here let me help."
	As Justin came over to me he noticed how much I was trembling.
After putting the shirt back on me, he gently brought me into his arms and
gave me a hug.  "Don't worry, I'll never let anyone hurt you again," he
whispered into my ear.
	With a nod, I stepped back from the hug, and turned around toward
the door too choked up to say anything for once.  As we walked toward the
plane I kept stealing glances in Justin's direction.  I couldn't figure it
out.  When we'd first met, I knew that there was something special about
Justin.  He just seemed so perfect.  Then I'd let him know them my secret,
and I thought that I'd lost him forever.  Then we meet again, and things
seemed like they had before I'd said anything.  As all of these thoughts
ran through my head another one kept popping up also.  I kept noticing how
cute Justin was.  "If only he was bi or gay," I thought. And then "Whoa,
where'd that come from?  I like Justin as a friend, nothing more right?"
Suddenly all of the confusion that I'd felt Monday morning when I'd woken
up with Justin in my bed returned. Before I could actually think about it
though, I noticed the group sitting out in the lobby waiting for us.
	"Come on guys, let's get on this plane.  I'm ready to get to
Orlando." I said as I walked up to them.
	Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Justin go over to JC and
start whispering something to him.  I wasn't sure what he told him, but JC
got visibly upset.  As Justin kept whispering to him, I noticed that JC
seemed to get even more upset.  Deciding that it wasn't any of my business,
I turned around and started to walk toward the plane only to be stopped by
JC.
	"Angel, come here for a minute." JC said with a quite voice.
	"Okay, what's up?" I asked as I made my way over to him.
	"Let me see you lift up your shirt."
	"What?"
	"You heard me."
	As I started to lift up my shirt, I got to about my rib cage before
I couldn't go any further due to the pain.
	"See what I told you?" Justin said to JC.  "He worse than any of us
thought.  He shouldn't have left the hospital so early."
	"Guys, I'm fine." I said.
	"Angel, you are not fine.  I'm going to show the others what I saw.
Is that okay with you?"
	I nodded as Justin came over and once again took off my shirt.  As
my upper torso was exposed I heard gasps of surprise and anger coming from
everyone else.
	"Angel, why didn't you tell us that you were this bad?" JC asked
quietly.
	"Well it's not everyday that you get hit by a Mac and live to tell
about it." I said.  As I looked around I noticed that this was the wrong
time to try to joke, "Okay, the reason for it is that I don't like
hospitals.  I didn't want to stay there a minute longer than I had to.
Besides I didn't want to worry you all."
	"Angel, we're your family and friends.  Of course we're going to
worry about you." Kim said with tears in her eyes, "But Angel, you really
shouldn't be up and about babe."
	"Kim, when have I ever listened to what people had to say?  When
everyone told me that we'd never amount to anything, what'd I do?  When the
dean tried to stop our group from forming, what I'd do?  When my parents
said that I'd never amount to anything, what'd I do?  Did I listen to any
of them?  No!  Sure it would have been so easy to listen to everyone and
not done half of the shit that I've done for this group.  Then we wouldn't
have made it.  I could have listened to the dean and never even formed the
group, then where would each of us have been?  I could have listened to my
parents, and where would that have put me?  Kim, I didn't become the person
that I am today from listening to someone tell me how to run my life.  When
someone told me I couldn't do something, I did it.  When someone said it
was impossible, I make it possible.  Don't get me wrong, I still listen to
people.  It's just that I have to make the decision on how to run my life.
If I say that I'm good enough to be up and about then you have to trust me.
I don't want any of you mad at me though, so when we get to Orlando if you
want me to I'll just stay lounging around for the rest of the week."
	"No work at all?" Mike asked.
	"No work at all." I promised.
	"Then give me your cell phone right now?"
	"What?"
	"Give me your cell phone.  You can have it back after this week is
up."
	"Okay, here.  Now we really need to get on the plane or we're going
to be late.  Oh yeah, and could I have my shirt back now?"
	Fifteen minutes later we were in the air.  Justin was sitting next
to me so I turned to him.  "So since I won't be playing an basketball for a
little while, how about you telling me the rules and the object of the
game?" I said with a slight smile.
	As Justin immediately launched into a lecture on the fundamentals
of basketball, I studied his face.  "How can he be so cute? What am I
feeling for him?  Why does just being near him make me so happy?" was the
last thought that ran through my mind as I fell asleep.

"I'm doing this for your own good boy." A voice said from the darkness.  As
I looked for the source, Tony stepped out.  "But you're in jail!  You can't
be here!"  "Oh but I can.  See, you're my son and now I have to discipline
you for what you've done."  "No, no, no." I sobbed as he kept getting
closer and closer.  Suddenly he had disappeared only to reappear behind me.
The next thing that I knew I was thrown to the ground and my pants were
ripped from my body.  "No daddy, please don't do it.  I don't like that." I
pleaded as I felt something press against my ass.  "Daddy's going to
discipline you real good this time." He grunted as he shoved his dick up my
ass.  "NO!  Get it out! It hurts!"

	"No, stop.  Don't touch me anymore!  Please don't!  Please don't
touch me anymore." I screamed in my sleep waking everyone up.
	"Angel, wake up.  It's okay.  It's only a dream." I heard as I
jolted awake.  "Are you okay?" Justin asked me as he stroked my hair.
	"No." I said as tears started to roll from my eyes.
	"Want to talk about it?"  I shook my head no, and Justin replied,
"My mom always says that if you talk about them then it'll make them
better."
	As I looked up at him, I noticed that everyone else was standing
around our seats.  "It's okay," I said, "I just had a bad dream.  Please go
back to sleep."
	"Are you sure?" Kim asked.
	"Yeah, I'm sure."
	"Well okay, but if you need to talk to someone, you know that I'm
right here."
	"I know." I said with a sad smile.
	For ten minutes I just sat their trembling slightly as Justin kept
stroking my hair.  Finally when I'd calmed down enough, he looked at me.
"Want to talk about it now?"
	With a sigh, I looked at him.  Seeing the sincerity in his eyes, I
decided to tell him.  "Justin the dream that I had was a memory.  You see
when I was about six years old, Tony kidnapped me.  He nearly had me
convinced that my mother was dead.  During that time I was submitted to all
kinds of abuse.  The mental I could deal with, but the physical was too
much for my brain to handle.  It blocked out a lot of memories.  Some were
so bad that it couldn't block them out though.  You see the beating that I
got this week was just minor compared to some that he gave me when I was a
kid, but his favorite thing was to beat me and when I was too weak to move
he'd.."
	"He'd what Angel?"
	"He'd molest me." I said quietly, "No one knows about it because he
convinced me that it was my fault he had to do it.  It was his way of
punishing me.  Even after my mother found me and got me back I thought that
he was in the right to punish me the way he did.  I could never understand
why my step-father didn't punish me properly."
	"Oh Angel, I'm so sorry.  What kind of parent can do that to their
kid?"  Justin said as he hugged me gently.
	"I don't know.  Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm not meant to be
loved by anyone.  Every time I love someone then it goes to shit.  Maybe I
don't know what love is." I cried into his shoulder.
	"Angel, it's okay.  It's okay.  You'll find love.  Love is out
there for everyone if they only know where to look for it."  Justin said as
he stroked my hair.  As Justin continued to mutter encouraging words, I
soon fell asleep.
	"Uh guys, you need to wake up.  We're here."  A voice said through
the darkness that was my dream.
	"Just a couple of more minutes," I muttered as I buried deeper into
my pillow.
	"Uh Angel, you can sleep a couple of more minutes, but I really
need to go to the bathroom before we get off this plane." My pillow said.
	Looking up I was shocked to see that my pillow had been Justin.
"Justin?  What happened?"
	"Well you fell asleep and I didn't have the heart to try and move
you." Justin said with a smile, "Now will you please let me up."
	"Oh yeah, sure." I said as I slowly got up.
	"Don't worry about.  Besides it was nice waking up next to a warm
body for a change." Justin said with a smile.
	"Huh?"
	"Oh I guess you didn't know. When we first started out we had to
share rooms.  Sometimes there was only one bed to a room, so JC and I would
have to share a bed.  Don't tell him that I told you, but man he makes a
frigid woman seem warm!" Justin said before he started toward the bathroom.
	Still chuckling I got up to grab my stuff.  As I was reaching for
them, an arm reached over mine and a Joey said, "Here allow me."
	"Thanks," I said as he grabbed my carry-on.
	"No problem." He said with a smile.  Then his face got serious.
"Angel, I want you to know that I heard what you told Justin earlier. I
didn't mean to ease drop, but I was worried about you and couldn't sleep.
I heard you and Justin talking.  I'm sorry for what happened, but I also
want you to know that it wasn't your fault.  You were just a child and he
should have known better.  I'm just sorry that you had to go through all of
that."
	"So am I," I replied sadly.
	"Go through what?" Justin asked as he got back to the seat.
	"What I told you earlier.  Joey heard me talking to you."
	"Oh." Justin said with a frown.
	"It's okay Justin, I was eventually going to tell everyone else." I
said mistaking what the frown was for.
	"No it's not that. It's just that if I'd known any of this sooner,
then I wouldn't have pressed charges against him.  I would have killed him
for you myself." Justin said angrily.
	"Justin, thanks for your concern. I really do appreciate it.  The
thing is if you harm him in anyway it'll ruin your career.  Mine is just
starting, so I don't have a career to worry about.  I don't want you
jeopardizing your career for me."  I said as I followed Joey toward the
exit.  It was for this reason that I didn't hear Justin's reply as he
grabbed his bags.
	"Angel, I'd jeopardize a lot more than my career for you." He
whispered to himself as he got his stuff and followed behind us.



Okay guys, what'd you think?  Now before you all start pointing out
problems with this chapter, please understand one thing.  A lot of this
chapter is true.  The order that it happened is not.  I had to help a
friend of mine through the trauma of mental and physical abuse.  When I
asked him if I could use his story as part of my chapter, he was leary at
first, but then decided to allow it.  He just hopes that by letting others
see what happened to him that he can discourage it from happening to
others.

As always there are several ways to get a hold of me.


Email:  angel_lenoir@angelfire.com
ICQ:  64742298
AIM:  angellenoir
Microsoft Instant Messenger: angel_lenoir