"I Just Know When You Put Your Hands On Me, I Feel Sexy...And My Body Turns To Gold."
"I Just Know When You Put Your Hands On Me, I Feel Ready...And I Lose My Self Control."
"When You Put Your Hands On Me...Oh Oh Oh" -- Christina Aguilera
by JT Poole
Today things don't look so good for me. We, as in the Backstreet Boys are going back into the studio for the first time in over five years. I wonder will I survive this or will it cause me to have another fucking breakdown? You're probably wondering why, me going into the studio again would cause me to ask such a question of myself. To answer the question, plain and simple, I'm in love with Brian Littrell and I've always have been.
Oh God, I've been in love with Brian for so long that I don't know how to not be in love with him. I've done just about everything I can to forget about him, but nothing has worked. When he married Leighanne, the vain of my fucking existence, I thought that would have been the straw that broke the camels back for me, but it didn't do it. Hell it only made my love for him grow stronger.
Trying to get over him, I had too many strange relationships and sexual encounters that would probably drive any normal guy insane. First Mandah (Willa Ford, for all of you people that don't really know her, fucking tramp), the fling with Christina Aguilera, the side fling with Justin Timberlake, hell the threesome with Lance Bass and JC Chasez that really warped me in some way and now this crazy bitch Paris Hilton (Purris Hipbone to all the friends of JT Poole). I don't think any normal person in their right mind would subject themselves to this kind of treatment and people I have endured over the last few years. Something's got to change and I still don't think that would work in my favor unless...
There are times when I actually thought if I killed myself, things would be better off for me and everyone else around me. When I normally have those thoughts of death and suicide, a thought of Brian or some memory of the two of us hanging out having fun would enter my mind and I would forget about death for a short while. Brian is the only person that I live for. When I think of him, everything seems right with me and the rest of the world. It's like all the bad things in the world don't exist for me. Now when I look at things, all I see is my empty life, a life without Brian in it the way I want.
Maybe one fine day things will be different. Maybe I'll find someone that can make me happy, a person that looks good enough like Brian and has his heart. I'll find the other piece to my heart one day and things will do a full 360 for me. A man can dream can't he...
TO BE CONTINUED...
I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.