CHAPTER 16 -
They woke up at five o'clock. Outside that room the sun was rising and people were already waking up to begin their day. Inside that hotel, though, Brian and Nick were slowly opening their eyes.
"Hm..." - Nick groaned trying to open his swollen eyes.
He looked at where his head had been lying and found Brian's chest. Immediately his heart began to beat a thousand times per second and his hands trembled slightly. He looked up and found Brian's blue eyes wide open staring at him, a gorgeous smile playing on his lips.
Without even thinking Nick mirrored his smile and Brian played with his hair.
"I love you." - Brian said feeling his heart jump unsteadily inside his chest.
"I love you too."
Nick touched Brian's lips softly with his own and laid his head on Brian's neck. Together they sighed and kept trying to wake up completely.
"Oh, God, you know what time is it, Nick?" - Brian whispered lifting his arm from around Nick's body and checking his wrist clock.
"Five past five. We have to go to our room, if someone from the hotel or even the guys catch us here..."
"Oh, my God, Brian, you realize the door was never locked and someone could have walked in on us?"
Nick smiled in shock.
Brian took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Let's get out of here. We can still sleep a few more hours."
Slowly they stood up and climbed the stairs to their rooms. When they found the door to Nick's room they stopped.
"Can I stay with you?" - Brian asked.
Nick smiled and without saying a word grabbed Brian's hand and walked in with him. Once inside they closed the door and stood still, looking at each other.
"I have so much to tell you but right I now I can't even find the words..." - Nick said.
Brian. His best friend. Yeah, that cool and funny speaking dude he met years ago. His buddy... Frick! They play basketball together. And now... Oh, God... now he was in love with him. In love!
"Most of what you want to say I already feel, believe me."
Brian kissed his nose and lips softly. Their tongues met briefly and touched a little, just to feel again the tenderness and warmth they could share.
When they pulled apart Nick headed to his bed and Brian slept in the bed beside Nick's.
"I love you." - Brian babbled.
"I love you..." - Nick whispered.
They woke up again at ten o'clock with Kevin calling Nick for him to go down to have breakfast with them. Oh, and yes, where was Brian? No need to worry, Nick would tell him to get ready too. Yeah, they stayed up that night playing video game and fell asleep in Nick's room...
When they were dressed they smiled to each other and went to meet the other fellows.
"Tsup?" - Kevin said.
"I'm tired..." - he sighed.
"Tired of what?" - Howie asked in awe. - "Sleeping?"
"Oh, man... I love France!" - Brian exclaimed happily.
Nick and the guys giggled as they sat at the table. He sat right in front of Brian and as they began to talk and laugh they couldn't help but almost gasping when their eyes met. It was the most thrilling thing they had ever felt. Brian could not look at Nick without his heart almost escaping his chest. He had known him for years, but right now it seemed as if Nick was shinning every time he put his eyes on him.
And to Nick it was the same. After so many years he was now blushing slightly every time their hands touched accidentally. He couldn't help the extremely large smile playing on his lips. Nick just couldn't wipe it away.
"Hey, Nick, whats so funny?" - AJ asked noticing the blond wouldn't stop giggling and smiling to himself.
Nick tried to avoid Brian's look but he couldn't. Their eyes met and both him and Brian blushed and grinned slightly.
"Hm!!!!!!" - Howie gave him and accusatory look.
"What?" - he asked laughing and blushing now totally out of control.
"I know what it is." - AJ began. - "Don't you guys see it? He got some last night!"
Four boys laughed hysterically, but Brian blushed so hard he had to fight hard not to spit what he was chewing in shock.
"I wish it had been this..." - Nick said sadly but still smiling.
Brian got over the shock and was now staring at his plate. Actually it was very interesting. It had this white color and some food spread on it, adding a bit of life to the scenario...
Nick almost burst out laughing again at the way Brian was trying to concentrate on his plate.
"So, Nick? Won't you tell us what it is?" - Kevin asked.
Nick smiled widely and covered his face with his hands.
"Oh, oh! C'mon, tell us!" - Howie exclaimed.
Nick looked at them, he couldn't stop giggling. He completely forgot of Brian's eyes, he didn't want to make him embarrassed as he said that.
"I'm in love."
"AWWWWWW!!!!" - the guys exclaimed in union, including Brian.
"Really, Nick?" - AJ asked.
"And who is it?" - Kevin asked.
"Oh, I can't say!" - Nick rolled his eyes.
"Oh, now you'll have to!" - Howie said.
"I won't tell anyone. Only Brian knows who's it."
Nick looked at him and they grinned. Brian's heart seemed to be three times bigger than its normal size. Actually it seemed like the only thing inside his chest, inside his body. Even his brain was gone.
"Rok does? You do?" - AJ asked.
"Yes, Nick told me. He can't keep secrets from me."
"Oh, tell us!" - AJ begged.
"I can't! I promised Nick I wouldn't tell anyone."
"Wait!" - Howie screamed and everyone looked at him. - "What about Mandy?"
Nick swallowed hard and looked secretly at Brian. Their eyes locked and the next second they burst out laughing. Yeah, Mandy. How did he forget her?
"Oh, well... things change." - Nick said.
"Will you break up with her?" - AJ asked.
"This is something I still don't know. Maybe. We'll see."
"What you mean?" - Kevin asked.
Nick looked at the table and the words left his mouth.
"Its just that this person is complicated stuff. Things aren't that easy, I don't know. I know I'm in love but maybe I won't like... live it."
Brian stared at him. He didn't want Nick to suffer! He wanted to live with him forever! He wanted to love him, he wanted to spend the rest of his life breathing the same air and... Leighanne. What the hell would he do? Brian frowned. He didn't love her, no he did. He loved her, but he wasn't in love anymore. She had been just a passion... lust? He didn't know, everything was too confuse he didn't want to think about it.
"Ok, I need to go now." - Nick said leaving the table.
He didn't want to answer anymore questions. He himself already had lots to answer. Yeah, what about Mandy? Nick wanted nothing more than to dump her and be with Brian. But would it be that easy? No, deep inside he knew it wouldn't.
Fifteen minutes after he left Brian stood up. He needed to talk to him. They needed to think of everything that happened and changed after that night in France.
Brian knocked on the door and Nick invited him in.
"Hey..." - he said entering the room and closing the door.
He looked at Nick and was in shock. God... what was it that he could affect him so much? A look at him and Brian got weak... And it was the weirdest thing in this world that his best friend, his almost brother was making him feel this way now.
As soon as he saw Brian his eyes shone. Nick stood up from the bed and walked to him. They stood face to face without moving, just looking at each other. Their feelings had been changing secretly, smoothly probably during several years. But to deal with them now, to face all this change was still something that scared them. It felt right, it felt complete, but the human being fears this kind of love. Together they were one, what was Nick was also Brian and they were the same. Different.... very different from each other in many ways, but together in this feeling they were everything they needed. And it was scary. Imagine that in one simple look someone can know how you feel? Imagine that with one word this person can know what you think? You may feel a little unsure to be known by someone so deeply. There is nothing so amazing and so thrilling as what they were feeling right now after this love was finally set free from their hearts.
Nick felt his knees getting weak only in standing up next to Brian. It was like Brian knew him... Nick's every secret, every thought. They looked at each other and it felt as if they had known those faces forever. In lives before... it felt just so right and this love was so overwhelming!
Nick took Brian's right hand and placed it on his chest.
"Feel it." - they kept quiet for a minute. - "My heart is beating so fast I honestly think its gonna explode!" - Nick smiled and his eyes were glowing.
Brian pulled him in a hug and they held each other tightly. Slowly and without breaking their hug they headed to the bed, sitting on it and keeping cuddled to each other.
"Nick, I just wanted to tell you some things..." - Brian said caressing his hair. God, he loved that long golden hair on Nick's cheeks. - "Last night... the things that happened got to me in a way nothing has ever done. Nothing, Nick! I never felt like that in my whole life, and I don't mean a part of the night, I mean everything that happened. It was so strong that even now I find my hands shaking and my heart almost escapes my mouth just looking at you. And I don't feel ashamed to say that because you are Nick!" - Brian laughed slightly. - "You are my best friend and I've always loved you. But now things changed, and I realized they have been changing secretly inside of me. I swear I didn't see it before, I never meant this to happen! Never! Falling in love with a guy... Oh, God. I don't like guys. But I love you... You are a guy, you are my best friend. You are Nick, Nick Carter and I love you. You mean so much to me you have no idea... I guess love is the only word to fit in what we have."
Nick linked fingers with Brian without breaking the stare.
"I know what people say about me. I've never liked guys in my whole life. I swear it too. I don't, I just don't feel attracted to this. I love women and I really mean it! I never meant this to happen either! The kissing we did... All I wanted this to be was friendship. We've always been closer than most friends and I thought it would be ok. It was something I really liked to do. Although I wasn't in love or anything I liked to be able to know you deeper, to share something with you, with my best friend, the one I've always looked up to and loved as an older brother. I wanted to be a part of your life the more I could. But I never meant it to be this way! Brian, I fell in love with you and I keep falling harder and harder... Right now I feel like I'm twelve years old again and I have this huge crush on the cutest girl from my classroom. This is how strong this love is burning within me. As if it was all that I had inside. And at the same time its something so deep... We've already shared so much, we've been through so much thing too... I could never picture life without you. And now its just impossible. I love you. I don't know what to do not even what to think. But I love you, Brian."
They smiled and Brian kissed him softly. Their lips kept close brushing against the other when Nick finally deepened it, using his tongue to explore Brian's mouth, and when he did that chills ran up and down his body with the memories of what they had done last night.
The same happened to Brian. He felt Nick's tongue touching his and his head span. Thoughts struggling with feelings, mind giving in to heart.
They broke the kiss smoothly. Nick was the first to smile. God, he could never get tired of Brian. He was everything! Just everything he wanted.
"Do you think I should break up with Mandy?" - Nick asked cheerfully.
Brian sighed. This was hard. Being in love was something, now acting about it was another completely different and much more difficult. Well, at least for him.
"I don't think so, Nick... Its all so fresh... Let's wait some time, see what happens. I don't wanna break up with Leighanne. Even because we can't let people suspect. We are not gay, we can have our girls. You know I love you with all my heart and now, even if I wanted I couldn't forget it, I couldn't let it go."
"I just want you in my life, Brian, but I agree with what you said. You mean we can still be with our girlfriends... Just like something extra? Its cool. But as you said, I love you. And I'll never let it go."
Brian hugged him. He knew a lot about Nick, and even now from the very beginning he could tell something Nick would only realize years later.
Nick Carter was special. He was the kind of person that falls in love just once in a lifetime. And it will be forever. His head was spinning and his heart overwhelmed, but even though Brian could feel Nick had chosen him. And Brian's heart didn't ask before picking the same for him. To fall in love with your best friend is something hard to deal with.
But in their case it was almost... impossible.
Ok, so in last chapter I wrote the longest chapter ever! I think the story reached a climax, and I was dying to know what would people think of it. I got NO e-mail. NO e-mail. I don't give a fuck anymore. This is the last chapter I'm sending, and if I don't get e-mails I'll just stop sending, I'm nobody's fool.