CHAPTER 23 -
The boys made an appearance at MTV, a long interview with Carson Daley where they talked about their new album, sang some songs, made quizzes about each other and had a hell of a good time with the fans. Everything was perfect. Since when did life become so flawless, so beautiful, so... loving?
There was just a little detail called Leighanne, but it was like she didn't even exist. How could Nick care about her when he knew all the love Brian felt for him? They were soul mates. Thats why friendship wasn't enough to show their feelings for each other. And it was deep... to be sure someone is your soul mate, to do the total giving in, not only physical, but mental... this was something only a few people would a have a taste in life.
The promotional part with the media and press was done. Now, to go on with Millennium they would begin the tour first in the US, when it was finished they would have some vacations before starting it abroad.
Right now they were in New York City, the adrenaline rushing through their veins, they would be performing in a few minutes. The arena was set in a big stadium and the tickets had been sold out. That was it. The Backstreet Boys were a phenomena.
"Wow, can you hear the screams?" - Nick asked while they were getting dressed and being covered up with the usual make up.
"Yeah, this is gonna be huge, man." - Howie said.
"We're gonna rock all night long, I can't wait!" - Brian rubbed his hands together.
It had been some months they were out of stage, and they could feel the same thrill building up as the screams could be heard.
"Yeah, hell shake it, Nick!" - AJ exclaimed mocking most of the banners the fans held during their shows.
"Yeah, just don't forget. We have to be on stage in fifteen minutes." - Kevin warned.
"Howie, can you please get tha' hell out of the mirror?" - Nick asked grinning.
"Sorry, bud. I came here first." - Howie said combing his adorable hair. (lol)
Nick grunted and giggled slightly.
"Come here, Bri, lets go to the other room. If Howie is gonna stay here till he fixes his hair, I'm gonna wait forever for my turn to use the mirror." - Nick teased.
Howie punched his shoulder slightly and they all laughed.
"Remember, don't be late!"
Kevin was slightly embarrassed because although he meant that only to Nick and Brian they all answered very loudly.
Nick and Brian walked into the other room. It wasn't that comfortable to move with the outfits they got for this new tour, they felt like three times bigger. But they knew they would be used to it soon.
"Oh, my! I'm so excited!"
"Me too, Nick." - Brian looked around confused. - "Hey, where is the mirror of this room?" - his met Nick's eyes.
The blond gave him an evil grin.
"Which room needs a mirror when it has Brian inside?"
Brian giggled back, understanding what Nick's plan was.
"Come here, baby... I love you." - Brian opened his arms and smiled.
Nick smiled too before crushing into those lips. The blond pressed Brian against the wall and they began to make out. Nick's tongue began to slide in and out of Brian's mouth, teasingly. Slowly he licked the tip of his tongue before sucking it into his mouth.
"Hm..." - Brian moaned. How could Nick kiss like that?!
He went on locking Brian's tongue inside his mouth and using the tip of his to draw circular spots at the tip of Brian's. Brian pulled Nick closer, slamming his body against his own as his hands traveled to the back of his head to kiss him deeper. Brian licked his lips, already swollen from the pressure, he sucked on them too. He nibbled softly on Nick's lips, kissing him as if there was no world around. As if it would never end.
Brian was still licking Nick's tongue when he broke the kiss and buried his head on Brian's neck. He shivered.
Nick let his warm lips travel up and down the skin on Brian's neck, licking it sometimes, till he found his earlobe, where he bit softly. He knew just how crazy it could drive Brian when someone whispered in his ear, licked or bit it. And just by doing this he could now feel Brian pressing hard against his hips.
"Nick no..." - Brian realized what he was doing. - "We can't do this here... we have no time..." - Brian giggled slightly.
"There is always time..." - Nick said smoothly pressing his hips into Brian's and rocking it, letting him feel how hard he was too.
"Hm..." - Brian rolled his eyes at the back of his head. - "God, Nick..."
Nick smiled at him. He loved this connection. He loved how deep they knew each other and how easy it was to get the responses he wanted. With one touch, sometimes one word they were hot, needing each other. With another word they could kiss their fears away. Their touches always so unsure as if it was the first time.
"I love you..." - Nick whispered kissing Brian's neck and caressing his stomach underneath his shirt.
Suddenly Nick made a very fast moving, surprising Brian and making his gasp. He cupped his cock through his pants forcefully and Brian moaned.
"Nick, we can't do it here... someone can come in, the door can't be locked."
"Are you sure we can't... your body doesn't seem to be wanting to stop..." - Nick said teasingly.
Always Nick. How could someone that for so long had been a virgin, that was still scared as a child, insecure, that wasn't malicious at all, that wasn't nasty, that was the cutest thing alive, how could Nick be this sort of god of lust?
"Hm..." - Brian whimpered as his hand moved further, squeezing his now painful hard on. They hadn't done it in like what? Two weeks? Yeah, they had been busy, so that now it was just impossible not to get hard with the way their bodies were pressing together.
Nick rocked his hips against Brian's and they both moaned.
"Nick, I..." - he could barely speak, so hard he was.
"Shh... do you want me to help you out?" - Nick asked with puppy eyes.
Brian would never understand how sexy, lustful, sweet and innocent Nick could look like at the same time.
Nick got on his knees and pulled Brian's pants down, just a little so that he could do the same to his boxers and stare at his very hard cock, almost begging for him to touch it.
Brian's breath was coming in gasps. He looked at that gorgeous face down on him, they locked eyes. Unconsciously Brian's hands played with Nick hair and he had to bit on his bottom lip not to scream when Nick flicked his tongue from the base to the tip of his cock.
"Hmmm" - Brian moaned and shuddered.
"Shii.... you have to keep it down, Frick..." - Nick grinned and stared at his cock. - "Well, maybe down isn't a word I could use now..."
Brian gave him a lustful grin and ran his fingers through his hair. Nick knew they didn't have much time, so that he took the tip of Brian between his lips and sucked hard, pumping his length and flicking his tongue at the ultra soft skin of his head at the same time he was sucking on it vigorously.
"God, Nick... I...." - Brian's voice cracked, he almost hissed with pain/pleasure as Nick sucked hard and licked his head softly at the same time. - "Please, Nick... I can't... I'm so hard..." - Brian moaned closing his eyes and letting his hands find support in the playing with Nick's soft blond hair.
Nick let the throbbing tip out of his mouth and used his tongue to tease, by licking it slowly in a circumference.
'Wait.' - Nick thought. - 'Cursing? Brian cursing? Brian?!'
He would've had an outburst of laughter if his own cock hadn't twitched and throbbed. Damn he was hard too. But they could take of this later, right now they didn't have much time, and by the way Brian was reacting he was needing it badly.
Nick let all of him in his mouth and Brian began to thrust, his hand at the back of Nick's neck, soft moans escaping his lips every time he touched the back of Nick's throat.
"Nick... God... holy fuck..." - Brian closed his eyes and whimpered.
Nick was still in awe. Wow! Brian swearing was really making him hot.
By the way his cock was pulsating Nick felt he was close, so that he began to thrust into Brian's cock, squeezing his balls with his hand, making humming sounds whenever he touched the back of his throat, sending the vibration to his tip.
"Nick!!!!!!" - Brian yelled as low as he could when he came hard, shooting inside Nick's mouth.
Nick licked everything he could till they were both clean, and when he stood up again Brian's eyes were still closed due to his orgasm.
Nick smiled and kissed him. Their tongues licking a little, tasting together Brian's cum.
"Love you..." - Brian said breathlessly, looking into his eyes.
"I love you too. Let's go, we have no time."
Nick smiled, licked his lips and kissed Brian softly before they left that room.
The days soon turned into weeks that were soon replaced by months. Faster than it seemed they were in vacations. Really short ones though. Only a couple of months. Plans had changed and they would need them to make the videos for their next singles before heading to Europe and going on with the tour.
When time came Nick had to spend two months away from Brian. He spent that time with his family. He even saw Willa again and dated her for a couple of weeks, but they soon fought and broke up again. Nick didn't want her anymore, Willa was just insisting. Now... as she said, she was the one to break them up. Whatever she wanted to think, Nick was ok with it.
He talked to Brian almost everyday on the phone and it got them by surprise when sometimes, late at night when Brian called, they whispered their love through the phone and cried... Cried like two babies, cried coz they missed each other. The laughter, the hugs, the smiles, the touches, the jokes, the scent... everything. The warmth, the safety and the love, above these all.
To Nick it was better to think Brian was out with his family. But he knew it wasn't so simple. He knew he was there with Leighanne. Oh, fuck it! He knew Brian loved him, he couldn't be with her for too long, right? Right?!
All he knew was for himself, that he could never be with someone when loving another person. And he loved Brian, and would love him forever. Which necessarily meant he could never be with someone else... right?
Brian was going mad without Nick. He was actually counting the days to see him again, but of course Leighanne didn't even suspect. He was everything to her. And Brian knew she was sort of jealous of Nick, so that he rarely spoke of him. He didn't know why, but most girls are like that. They didn't like to share their boyfriend with his best friends, specially if it was a hell of a close friend. Closer than anyone would ever know.
Brian also saw his family. He did the normal stuff, going to the church on Sunday's mornings, praying for his biggest sin. Have fallen in love with a man. He knew he wasn't gay, but that the truth was he loved his best friend. He loved Nick. Sometimes the guilt of this feeling was just too much.
Brian looked around of him. Leighanne was the promise of a family. Something to make his parents proud. Something that the church and God would approve. Did God hate him? For being in love, for having sex with a male? Would he go to hell for loving someone so desperately? He was cheating on his wife, wasn't him?
The thought of Nick's face was what kept him sane during most of the times. But when he thought about him other things popped up. Nick's family... would they hate him if they knew it? Their fans... They loved Nick! They all knew a great reason why the hit it off with their group was because of Nick. Most of their fans were crazy about him, and the hopes they had in one day dating him, being with Nick Carter was what kept the Backstreet alive.
What if this love they had could ruin the group? Worse, what if it could ruin their lives? Brian would never forgive himself for destroying the dream of his friends, what if the fans hated them? What if everyone else laughed at them? They would be called faggots. But they weren't! First of all, this was a stupid and offensive word. But they weren't gay! They could never be with another man. And besides, after almost two years of being in this relationship they had never done the... the gay making love. They didn't want it. Not at all.
Brian couldn't stand the thought people would look down on them. Specially on Nick. He had always been teased for being the cute blond with blue eyes... They always called him fag, and he isn't! Brian knew how deep it hurt him sometimes. With time Nick learned to just not care. But could he really live his life with people calling him that? With people remembering the Backstreet Boys as the group of the two faggots? The two gays that fell in love? The sissies? What could happen if fans, friends and family turned their back on them?
Brian knew his family would never approve. What about Nick's family? The deception... Nick had told him one of the things that hurt him the most when he was a child was that he had heard some relatives of him talking, suspecting if he wasn't gay. And he wasn't! Just because he didn't have a girlfriend. Just because he was too shy, and whenever he tried the girl would turn him down. What could this do to Nick's brain if the world knew about him and Brian? Yes, because... if they were to be together, sooner or later they would have to tell the world. To tell the other fellows. To tell their families.
Brian didn't want Nick to suffer.
He didn't want his family to look down on him. He didn't want God to hate him. By now he had so many ghosts in his mind that Leighanne had even asked if he was ok.
He was, at least for now. His love for Nick turned out to be the only thing that really mattered in this life. If he lost the fame, the money, the friends, if he lost his family... But if he still had Nick with him the world would always be perfect.
Nick was his soul and Brian abandoned his thoughts. He couldn't think of life without him. He wanted to be with Nick forever, because with Nick everything was perfect.
The question was, could perfection last forever?