Pictures. Lots of them spread all over his bed. No, there was no clock, he didn't know what time was it.

Nick kept looking at them. Frick and Frack. The Backstreet Boys. The good old times. The very beginning.

He looked at Brian's face and couldn't understand how it happened. If someone had told him that one day he would be crying because of his eighteen years old friend Brian Littrell's wedding, he would have surely had a good laughter out of it. Brian was the best friend he ever had. And he also turned out to be his true love. Funny? Disgusting? The world could never understand it. It would be so hard to tell everyone how it began! If only they could explain to someone and make them see they didn't mean this to happen! That they aren't perverts, that they had made only one mistake. They took curiosity as an excuse to fool around. And something went wrong, or right... Wrong? Something made them cross the line without realizing it. And Brian and Nick fell in love.

Leighanne in the pictures. He hated that face. She was nothing before meeting Brian. Actually she looked ten years younger after what Brian and his money did to her. Brian should really love her to marry such a woman...

Nick cried again. He didn't know it was now completing a whole day since Brian's wedding. He didn't care. Time stopped to him. He refused to go on, to follow up, to move ahead. He stopped, and the only place he was going to was the past. Nick wanted to change the clock, to make it go back, back to when he had Brian. Back to when life was perfect. Just one more day... Just one! Just one more kiss... Just one more touch...

His vision was blurry. He didn't know it was because he completed thirty six hours of no sleep and thirty two of neither eating nor drinking. For sure he was bad, but funny how he didn't miss any of the above.

Fortunately or unfortunately, he wasn't living alone in this world. At nine o'clock AJ knocked on his door again.


He jumped on his bed. His reflections were quite slow due to his conditions.

"I'm coming!" - he yelled only now remembering he had promised AJ he would join them tonight.

Nick threw the pics back inside his bag quickly, got up and looked at himself in the mirror. He ran a hand through his hair. He looked awful but he couldn't bother to do anything about it.

"AJ!" - Nick exclaimed.

The blond had deep shadows around his eyes. They were almost closing by now.

"Nick! What the hell! I knew I shouldn've let you alone today!" - AJ screamed.

Nick almost fell hearing him speak so loud. His mind was slow, his eyes sore, his ears couldn't bear with the speed and tone AJ was using in his speech. Nick couldn't follow him.

"Wh-wha-what talkin about?" - Nick asked rubbing his eyes and trying to keep them open.

"Jesus, Nick! You're still wearing the same cloths!"

"I've already had dinner." - Nick said still trying to look into his friend's eyes.

"What? I don't care if you had dinner, you look like shit!" - AJ exclaimed.

"Fuck you!" - Nick yelled feeling the tears pop up again.

He let go of the door and was falling to the floor when AJ caught him in his arms.

"Whats up with you Nicky?" - he asked as the blond hid his head into his chest.

"Nuffin." - Nick muttered.

He wasn't crying, he was just leaning against AJ because he was too damn tired to stand on his feet.

AJ took a deep sigh.

"C'mon, Nick. I'm taking you to my room. Howie and I will take care of you."

"I don't need to be taken care of." - Nick said in a whisper, childishly.

"Yes you do, buddy!"

AJ managed to put Nick on his feet and as the blond leaned against him AJ carried him out of his room into his and Howie's one.

When he put his eyes on their younger brother, Howie was also in shock.

"Oh my God, Nick! You are still in the wedding outfit!" - he exclaimed.

"Who cares?" - Nick whispered.

"AJ! Whats wrong with him?"

AJ dropped Nick on the sofa, looked at his best friend and shrugged.

"Hell, man! I don't know!"

"We need to help him! He seems to be an undead sitting and gazing at nowhere!"

"Thank you Howie." - Nick said in a husky voice, not really looking at any of them.

"I know, this guy needs to take a shower and change cloths. I'll go to his room, take some new ones and you keep him busy AND alive until I come back." - AJ said.

"Ha ha ha. Ha." - Nick said slowly in his lost stare.

"What are you? A retarded?" - AJ exclaimed surprised.

Nick didn't take his look away, but suddenly he began to laugh. At first a slight grin, and soon he was laughing loudly as some crazy guy. His eyes gazing nowhere, his body shaking with the laughter.

"" - he began panting. - "You are so funny AJ!" - Nick said before bursting out laughing again.

Howie's mouth dropped open.

"Man, go get his cloths right now or we'll have to call the funny farm."

"I can't take a shower in my own room." - Nick said wiping the tears forming in his eyes.

"No you can't. There is no way you are gonna be alone in that hole for one more second, hear me?" - AJ yelled, frustrated with the situation.

As Nick kept crying silently Howie approached AJ with a baffled look.

"I hate myself!" - AJ exclaimed in a low voice. - "I should have never let Nick alone in that room! Its all dark, no windows opened, its scary man!" - AJ said looking straight into Howie's eyes.

Howie touched his friend's shoulder.

"Listen, its not your fault if Nick wanted to be locked in his own world. You tried to help him, I saw it! The important is that we are with him right now. Go and get his cloths. We'll make him take a shower and later we can talk with him. Go AJ... Don't worry, man. Everything is gonna be ok." - Howie said with an encouraging smile. - "I know he is happy away, but right now I wish Brian was back here to help us with whatever got into this kid."

AJ stared at him and thought for a while.

"Honestly? I think this wouldn't be happening if Brian was here now. But I'm sure its gonna get worse when he comes back."

"What you mean?"

"Whatever, Howie. Let me go, Nick needs help." - AJ took Howie's hand from his shoulder friendly and moved away.

Howie closed the door and turned around to look at Nick.

He couldn't tell if he was still crying. His hand was softly rubbing his face and Nick looked like everything but someone that was alive.

"Nick, man..." - Howie said sitting beside him.

Without saying a word Nick leaned his head against his shoulder and sighed, pouting unconsciously.

Howie sighed too and put his hand on Nick's cheek.

"Why is life such a bitch?" - Nick asked.

"Why? What? What you mean?"

"Life is a bitch, Howie." - Nick said looking at him. - "And she has puppies."

AJ entered the bedroom Nick had been occupying for a looooong time now. The place smelled like loneliness. The air there was heavy, it was hard to breath. AJ was in shock when he began to feel pain only by being there. For sure his little friend had been suffering quite a lot in there.

He opened the wardrobe looking for clean cloths. AJ took blue jeans and a white shirt. He also picked underwear and was about to leave when something caught his attention.

A single picture above Nick's bed.

Slowly he approached the bed and leaned down to see it better.

It was Nick and Brian. Brian was the one actually looking at the picture. Nick was looking at someone else away. Brian was in light yellow and Nick with a black shirt, a yellow waistcoat covering his chest. They were sat somewhere. Nick had his arm around Brian. And Brian took Nick's hand, linking fingers with him. They were both wearing those black caps saying Frack and Frick.

AJ smiled but suddenly a thought crossed his mind and made him frown.

Whatever got to Nick was about to begin.

just updated again to say one of my Brian/Nick slash stories won the Take Time to dream award as best All Around slash, if you guys wanna read it, its on my site.