Date: Sat, 05 Jan 2002 05:13:12 -0800
From: musicfan@fiberia.com
Subject: Where Do We Go #40

Disclaimer:

   As this is chapter 40 and you've been probably been reading all along by
now, I'm sure you realise that this is the next chapter in an ongoing story
about Stephen Gately from Boyzone and Eloy de Jong, formerly of Caught in
the Act. With the new year, my resolution is to get more to you in a timely
fashion, so you don't have to wait as long.  Please continue you let me
know what you think. All writers abhor a vacuum, and this one in particular
would be pleased to know what you think whether good or bad.  Hopefully
good.

   Cheers!

   Musicfan


###


     By the time Stephen woke up, Jordan was gone and the sky outside the
window was dark.  He could hear Jordan chattering downstairs to his father
and the noise told him it was close to dinnertime.  He stayed where he was
for a moment, enjoying the peace and quiet before getting up and spending
time with his family.

      After a few moments, he sat back up, stifling a groan as sore muscles
protested.  He grinned ruefully as he felt aches in places he hadn't
thought could ache, reminding him of his Amsterdam exertions.  Massaging
his leg, he stood up and tried to stretch the muscles in his thighs.
Walking gingerly to the door, he went to the bathroom to freshen up.  Once
he was finished, he went back to find some clothes that didn't appear too
wrinkled and put them on.  Barefoot, he made his way down the stairs and
through the living room into the kitchen, where Jordan was sitting on his
father's lap and telling him about his day.

      Alan looked up and grinned at his brother-in-law.  Stephen still
looked like he should be sleeping, but he knew well enough how hard it was
to get any sleep with Jordan around.  Michelle had told him of the minor
miracle earlier that day that Jordan had even gone to take a nap after the
excitement of finding his uncle here.

     "'Lo, Stephen." Alan called in a greeting as Stephen took a seat at
the table.  Jordan waved but didn't stop his narrative about what had gone
on that day.  Stephen wiggled his fingers back at Jordan, which caused a
giggle.  Arms encircled his neck from behind and he accepted a hug from his
sister.

     "Feeling better?" She murmured softly into his ear.  He nodded as he
turned to smile up at her.  "Good.  Hungry?"

     "Mmm, getting there."  Stephen admitted. He sniffed appreciatively,
knowing she was cooking a roast.  "And that's helping!"

     "Good," she said with satisfaction. "Because you're too scrawny for
your own good."

     "Please!" He protested with a laugh.  "I could only wish."  The one
drawback of staying at his sister's was this need of hers to fatten him up.
He shared an amused glance with Alan as he shook his head. Jordan crawled
off his father's lap and headed off to the den to watch one of his
cartoons.  "Enough of that, Shel.  What can I do to help?"

     "Absolutely nothing!" She said, shaking a spoon at him from where she
stood at the stove.  "This is your time to relax.  Don't even think of
doing any work!"

     "Wish she'd say that to me sometimes," Alan said in a low voice to
Stephen.  Obviously not low enough, because he had to duck her blow.
Stephen grinned as Alan pulled her into his lap and stopped her with a
kiss.  "None of that in my household, missy!"

     "Oh, you!" She said laughingly admitting defeat. "Sometimes, I don't
know what I'm going to do with you."

     "Exactly what you're doing right now, love." Alan grinned down at
her. She made a face before looking over his shoulder and seeing her pot
about to bubble over.  With an exclamation, she got out of his embrace and
ran to the stove, barely catching it from spilling onto the stove.  Alan
good-naturedly took her abuse from the other side of the kitchen,
undermining what she said each time by telling Stephen something funny so
that he laughed. Michelle brought the present Stephen had brought with him
over to Alan to open and Alan obediently unwrapped the package as she
watched from the stove, tapping her foot impatiently.  She had been dying
to find out what was in the box, since it felt so heavy when she picked it
up.

    Alan opened the box and pulled out a glass paperweight with a windmill
etched inside.  He held it up and moved it about, letting the facets
refract the light.  "Oh, that's lovely.  Thank you, Stephen." He said
turning to smile at his brother-in-law.  Stephen smiled at his obvious
delight, silently taking credit for Eloy's present. Michelle showed off her
glass blown flower and vase, which Alan admired.  A hiss from the oven
grabbed her attention and she went back to make sure that nothing was
burning.

   "So I hear you're in town for a while," Alan said to Stephen as he sat
back in his chair.  He had taken off his tie and his suit jacket was slung
across the back of the chair.

   "Yeah, a while for me, I guess." Stephen said with a grin.  "Though I
have a side trip or two planned to stay with friends."

   "Well you know you're always welcome here.  Anyone who can get Jordie to
take a nap as quick as you did would be welcome as a permanent house
guest!" Alan said with a laugh.

   "Aww, that was nothing." Stephen said, dismissing his accomplishment
with a laugh of his own.  "He was just wound up and once he settled down,
he dropped right off."

   "Ooh, Alan, tell him about that house." Michelle said eagerly as she
took the roast out of the oven and moved it to a platter.  "Stephen, you
have got to see this place.  It's absolutely fantastic!"

   Stephen turned back to Alan, who rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far.  It needs a bit of work, but it's something
I think you might like.  I actually have a few leads on places, but this
one is at the top of the wife's list."

   "Oh?  What's it like?" Stephen asked, leaning on the table.  Alan
described the mill house in Wicklow, talking about the potential it had.
He also went on to mention three other places that he and Michelle had
driven by and had checked out as potential homes.

   "Stephen, I think you'd love it!" Michelle said excitedly. "They're all
lovely, but the first one just has the right personality, if you know what
I mean."  Stephen nodded dutifully. He didn't know the first thing about
having a house, but figured that it was high time he had one of his own.
His accountant had been telling him for some time that he needed to invest
his money in property of some kind, so he thought that this would just
serve to kill a couple of birds with one stone.  Plus, it would provide him
some privacy from his family when he needed it.  Gone were the days of
sharing a room with his brother, or living at home.  He just felt like he
had passed that threshold of his life.

   "I'm sure Michelle will take you by to look at them at the first
opportunity," Alan said with a twinkle in his eye.  "She hasn't been
talking about much else lately!"

   "Oh, stop it, you!" She said as she swatted him with the tea towel. They
both laughed at her and for revenge she put them to work carrying the food
to the dining room table. In the meantime, she went into the den to collect
Jordan and make sure he was cleaned up for dinner.  Alan and Stephen
carried the various dishes into the other room as Alan continued to tell
him about the houses.

     "Hopefully you'll find one you like and from there, if it needs any
kind of modifications, I can come up with something for you." Alan assured
him.  "Mark has already volunteered to do any work that needs doing, so
you're all set there."

     "Mark knows you've been looking for a house for me?" Stephen asked in
surprise.  He supposed he shouldn't be surprised, knowing the way his
sister could talk.

     "I think half the known world knows, actually." Alan said with a grin
as they set the table.  "Though I will give you a heads up that Margaret
didn't seem too thrilled with the idea."  He gave his brother-in-law a
sympathetic look as Stephen groaned.  "Probably because any of the choices
are outside the city."

     "Oh God, do you remember how bad she was when Shel moved out? With
Mark she was the same.  I was kind of hoping to break it to her gently.
After all, it's not like I'm home that much, anyway." Stephen said, wincing
at the thought of having to have that conversation with his mother.  At
that point, Michelle entered with Jordan.

     "What?" She asked, looking from one to the other of them, feeling like
she had just walked into something.

     "Nothing," Alan assured her.  "Just talking about the houses is all."
He took Jordan from her and dropped him down into a seat next to Stephen.
Jordan crowed with delight, effectively distracting his mother from
questioning what else they had been talking about. Stephen was grateful for
the distraction.  He knew better than to say something to his sister, who
had been so excited with the idea of finding him a home. And the more that
he thought about it, it was probably better that his family found out that
way and got used to the idea before seeing him.

      They had a nice quiet meal together, enjoying some time catching up
with each other and making plans for Michelle to take him around to the
different property they had found.  Jordan kept on interrupting with
questions, asking Stephen different things all the way through to dessert.
Stephen enjoyed the cake that his sister had baked, teasing Jordan by
putting some frosting on his nose.  When they had finished, they went into
the den to relax.  Jordan pulled Stephen over to the throw pillows on the
floor where they sat down together and watched cartoons.  Alan sat back on
the loveseat with Michelle and watched them indulgently.

      It wasn't long before Jordan had drifted off, lulled by the sound of
the television.  Michelle was amused to see that Stephen wasn't that far
behind him and roused the two of them by shutting off the television and
telling them to go to bed.  They both complained loudly, to which she
sighed in exasperation, sending them both off to bed with a swat to their
butts.  Stephen winked at her as he followed his nephew out the door and up
the steps to the second floor.  Together, she and Alan could hear Stephen
encouraging Jordan to wash up and brush his teeth.  They stayed on the
loveseat for some time, quietly talking about Alan's day and how his latest
project was going.

      "I suppose I should see how Jordan's doing," Michelle said with a
sigh.  Alan kept her from getting up with his arm around her shoulders.

      "I'm sure Stephen's gotten him settled.  Your brother is great with
kids.  Some day he's going to make a great dad," Alan said as he brushed
her temple with his lips.  He felt her sigh at the comment and he looked at
her curiously. "What?"

      "I just hope you're right, honey.  He loves kids so, I think it would
be criminal for him not to have any. But the way his life is these days,
I'm not sure when he's ever going to find time."  Michelle said, sitting
back into his embrace again.

      "Because he's gay?" Alan asked, trying to figure out which way his
wife's thoughts were going. He knew she fretted about her brother a lot,
and it pained him to see her so pensive where he was concerned.  Stephen
was a great guy, and he would also like to see him happy.

      "Well, that's part of it.  How many gay Irish men are allowed to
adopt children?" She asked softly. "Never mind the fact that he doesn't
allow himself to have any sort of life at all.  He just doesn't realise it
can't be all work."

      "I'm sure he knows that," Alan assured her.  "He also knows that any
day the whole thing can disappear on him.  I think he just wants to take
advantage of things while he can.  Eventually he'll have time to sit back
and enjoy himself.  And Michelle, I wouldn't be so hasty about saying he
won't have a family of his own someday.  Ireland isn't the only place where
one can adopt.  And with science the way it is, it's not unlikely that he
could have a child of his own, too."

      "I guess that's what I'm afraid of," she said softly, admitting her
fears for the first time to her husband.  "That he's going to settle down
elsewhere and start a family that I won't be able to be a part of."

      "Do you think he'd honestly do that?" Alan asked, seeing the root of
her concern.  "Is that why you're so eager for him to have a house here?
To put down roots?"

      "I guess so," she said in an odd tone of voice.  In actuality, until
that moment she hadn't really thought of why it was so important for him to
be in a house of his own.  "Oh, Alan, I love him so.  I just want him to be
happy."

      "He seemed happy enough to me, though a bit tired," Alan said with a
chuckle.  "Though he would do with hiding that love bite before your mother
sees it." He muffled gasp told him that she hadn't even noticed it and he
laughed at her reaction.  "What, you don't think I don't know that your
brother has sex occasionally?"

      "Oh my God!" She said, giggling.  "He'd be mortified if anyone saw
that.  I didn't even see it!  Oh Lord, we'll have to do something about
that before taking him home, I'm sure!"  Quietly, she shared the news with
her husband that her brother was in love, and that she was determined to
make sure that it all worked out for them.

      "Michelle, you can't run your brother's life," Alan admonished her
softly.  "If it's meant to work out, it will or it won't.  With luck, it
will work out.  But you know what that means if it does, don't you?"

      She turned in his arms and stared up at him, nodding.  "Yeah, I do.
I'll see even less of him than I do now.  I know that, but Alan, I'm so
thrilled to see him happy for a change that I know that it will be worth
it.  And who knows?  Maybe some day he can live here with Eloy and people
will accept it."

      "Yeah, someday," Alan said, trying to reassure her.  But he also knew
his in-laws and that when the news of this finally got out, that it would
be a rough road to hoe.  He didn't mention any of his thoughts to his wife,
and after a while, they headed up to bed.  Alan looked in on Jordan and saw
him fast asleep, clutching the new stuffed animal that Stephen had brought
him.  It was a horse, and Alan smiled as he tucked his son in and closed
the door over.  Michelle was just coming out of Stephen's room and he
waggled his finger at his wife.  She stuck her tongue out at him and headed
for the bedroom.  He trailed after her, knowing that nothing he would say
would ever change her mind about things.  Not that he wanted it any other
way.


* * *

     Morning brought the sounds of giggles from the hall and Michelle
rolled over, smiling at the sounds of her brother and son playing.
Occasionally she could hear Stephen whisper that they had to be quiet and
Jordan would whisper loudly that he was being quiet. Eventually, she heard
them go downstairs and she knew that Stephen was trying to let her and Alan
sleep in.  She rolled over and snuggled against Alan, who wrapped his arm
around her waist, muttering in his sleep.

     The next time she woke up, it was to giggles that were a lot closer
than before.  Opening her eyes, she focused in on her son on the floor with
his face propped up on his hands as he leaned against the bed.  The smell
of fresh brewed coffee woke up Alan, who rolled over and looked over her
shoulder.

     Stephen had a tray on the table by the window with a pot of coffee and
breakfast.  Jordan was bouncing with excitement as he waited for them to
wake up.

     "Mama, Dada! Uncle Stephen and I made you breakfast!" Jordan beamed at
them.  He reached out and tugged on his mother's hand. "It's getting cold!
Hurry!"

     "Okay, okay!" Michelle laughed, reaching out with her other hand to
ruffle Jordan's hair.  "We're up!"

     "How could anyone sleep through all those giggles?" Alan said wryly as
he sat up in bed.  Stephen grinned, shrugging.

     "All I'll say is this wasn't my idea!" He said, warding off his
sister's look as she got out of bed.  Jordan tugged on her nightgown as she
moved over to the table to inspect breakfast.  Stephen and Jordan had made
French toast and Alan came behind her to snake a hand around and grab a
slice of bacon before kissing her neck.

    "Great job, lads." He said approvingly before sitting down at the chair
provided.  "Are you going to join us?"

    "Nope!" Jordan said, giggling as Stephen held out the other chair for
his sister to sit down.  "We already ate lots and lots while we were making
it."  He pointed to his stomach and rubbed it in satisfaction.  Michelle
laughed at his expression and pulled him onto her lap while Stephen sat
down on the foot of the bed.

    "So I see, little man.  Any more and I think you wouldn't fit into your
shirt anymore!" She tickled him and he giggled some more.  Alan poured
himself a cup of coffee and one for his wife before taking some of the
french toast off the platter and onto his plate.  He added the bacon and
bangers, sniffling appreciatively at the offering.  Michelle laughed at him
before putting some on her plate and trying it.

    "Oh, this is good!" She said, beaming at her son.  "You're a great
cook, Jordan!" She winked at her brother who sat back, watching them enjoy
the meal.  Michelle sent Jordan down for another cup so his uncle could
have some coffee and he came bouncing back into the room with a cup that he
handed to Stephen.  Stephen thanked him before getting up and pouring
himself a cup from the pot.

    "Sugar?" Michelle asked, holding out the bowl.

    "Just a little.  I'm trying to wean myself off of it." Stephen said,
taking a spoonful and dropping it in the cup.

    "Why ever for?" Michelle asked in amazement.

    "Because it's just one more thing that I don't need," Stephen said with
a grin as he returned to the foot of the bed, sitting cross-legged as he
sat down.  "One of eliminating toxins out of the body."

    "Oh really, Stephen! Since when is sugar a toxin?" His sister protested
with a laugh.

    "Actually, he has a point," Alan said as he sat back in his chair. "How
many creatures in the animal kingdom sprinkle sugar on their meals before
eating?"  Michelle laughed at his analogy.

    "We're human, we're not animals!" She protested.  She shook her head at
the two of them and finished with her meal.  When she and Alan were done,
Stephen picked up their dishes onto the tray and took it downstairs to
wash, brushing away their offers to help.

    "This is your day to be together and enjoy yourselves.  No working!" He
said, giving them a wink and asking Jordan to help him with the dishes
downstairs.  Jordan jumped off his mother's lap and followed him down the
stairs.

     "Wow, time to ourselves on a Saturday morning!" Alan said in wonder.
"What are we going to do with ourselves?"

      "I have no idea!" Michelle said, laughing back at him.  "It has been
a while, hasn't it?" She reached forward impulsively and touched her
husband's hand.  "I know one thing I'd love to do that we haven't done in a
while."

      Alan smiled in interest. "And what would that be, love of my life?"

      "Take a nice leisurely shower together," she said with a laugh.
"Would you like to join me?"  She pulled back her hand and stood up,
undoing the ties of her nightgown and flashing him seductively.  Laughing,
he stood up from the table and followed her into the master bathroom, eager
for some time alone together without their son interrupting.

     Downstairs, Stephen was drying off the dishes and looked up as the
water turned on upstairs.  Knowing what his sister was probably up to, he
decided to take his nephew for a walk.  He called out to Soirise, who was
lying down in the den and she came bounding through the door at the sound
of his voice.

     "Jordan, let's go for a walk on the beach," he suggested, looking on
the back of the door for Soirise's lead.  Jordan eagerly agreed and ran off
to get his shoes.  He came back with his sneakers and Stephen helped him
put them on.  For himself, he decided to go barefoot.  It had been ages
since he had been able to sink his toes in the sand.

     They left out the back door, Stephen nicking the spare key off the
hook and locking the door behind them.  Carefully they made their way down
to the beach, seeing a few people wandering about as they went.  Once on
the sand, Stephen let Soirise off the lead and she went bounding into the
water, barking at the waves.  Jordan led the way along the water, pointing
out interesting rocks and shells that Stephen obediently picked up and put
in his pocket.  He smiled, remembering doing the same when he was a little
boy.

     They ended up on a rocky outcropping, watching a ferry from Dun
Laoghaire making its way across the water. Jordan sat between his uncle's
outstretched legs out of the wind and listened as Stephen told him stories
about the people on the ferry, making him laugh as he described the silly
man with the mustache who had his favourite seat stolen by a naughty little
boy.  Jordan crowed with delight at his stories as they sat there, whiling
away the time.

     From there, they slowly made their way back home, Stephen looking at
his watch and thinking that his sister had more than enough time to
herself.  He had to call Soirise away from where she was playing with some
fish in the tide pool left behind by the receding tide.  They met a few
people walking along the beach and they nodded pleasantly at him as he
walked back the way he had come.

     Eventually Jordan got tired of walking and Stephen hiked him up onto
his shoulders so he could have a break.  They soon reached the house and
Stephen climbed the stairs back up to the porch, which overlooked the
ocean.  There, he sat down at the table and brushed the sand off his feet,
also making sure that Jordan's sneakers were free of anything that would
track into the house.  He went inside briefly and grabbed a napkin to clean
off Soirise's paws.  She obediently lay down and raised her feet up for him
to clean.  Alan had taught her well over the years, neither one of them
wanting to experience Michelle's wrath at having sand tracked into the
house.  When he heard movement about in the kitchen behind him, he figured
it was safe enough to go inside, so he opened the door and told Jordan to
go play for a bit while he talked to his mother.

    Michelle was making another pot of coffee.  She smiled radiantly at him
as he entered through the back door.

    "Thank you, sweetheart.  That was a lovely thing you did." She said,
throwing her arms around her brother who hugged her back enthusiastically.
Soirise snuffled his bare feet for a few moments before heading off to the
other room for a well-deserved rest.

    "It was nothing, Shel.  And I'm sure it's about time that you two had a
nice leisurely morning together." He said, smiling at his sister.

    "Something that doesn't happen much around here," a voice said behind
him with a laugh and he turned to smile at his brother-in-law. Alan was
dressed in a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, quite the contrast to the suit
he was wearing the night before.  "Jordie keeps on asking for a little
brother but he never gives us enough time to make one!"

    "Alan!" Michelle scolded, laughing.  "Please, don't mention sex in
front of my brother.  It makes him blush."  She laughed over Stephen's
protests and they both noticed he did look a bit flushed at her comment.

    "Jordan wants a brother?" He said, trying to draw their attention away
from his discomfort.  Michelle went on to tell him of Jordan's fascination
with the family down the street who had just had a baby, and it was
bringing out all sorts of questions that they had to answer.

    "Already?" Stephen said in surprise.  They had moved out onto the porch
with their coffee, Michelle leaving the door open so she could hear if
Jordan needed them.  "Isn't he a bit young to be asking those kinds of
things?"

    Alan shrugged. "Not really.  He's a sharp lad.  Though he still thinks
you can go to the store and pick one up, like you do anything else you
want."  Michelle laughed at the analogy, telling them a story about Jordan
wanting to be taken to the store where they could find him a baby.

    "I told him they came from hospitals, so now he wants to go there and
pick one out," she said.  "I told him those were already on order with
someone else and we'd have to put an order in for one ourselves."

    "Which made him come to me and ask me to put an order in, so Mama
didn't have to," Alan said with a laugh.  Stephen smiled as he pictured
Jordan walking up to his father and asking.

    "Oh good Lord, that was priceless!" Michelle said with a giggle. "That
was the first time Alan had heard about all this and he didn't know what to
make of it!"

     The object of their discussion came running out the door, chattering
excitedly about one of his cars.  Under his arm was the toy horse that
Stephen had given him the day before.  He climbed into his uncle's lap and
gave him the horse to hold while he played with the car on the table.
Stephen stood the animal on the table and shared a warm glance with his
sister.

     "So what would you like to do today?" She asked over her son's
chatter.  Stephen shrugged, feeling a bit lazy after his walk and not
particularly motivated to do much of anything. He knew from the way she was
fidgeting that she had something in mind.

     "What did you have in mind?" He asked.  She went on to talk about the
houses and he bit back a smile.  He had a feeling that was what she was
thinking of.  He agreed readily enough and stifled a chuckle.  She was
almost bouncing in her seat with the same kind of excitement her son
showed.  Alan shared an amused glance with him as they both noticed how she
was acting.

     "Hey Jordie, would you like to come and build something with me
today?" Alan asked, tugging on Jordan's car to get his attention.  Jordan
listened as he explained he was going over to help Grandpa Carr and the
little boy jumped off Stephen's lap without a second thought.  Alan had him
pick up his stuff and go put it away before leaving.

     Alan leaned down and kissed his wife before slanting a glance at her
brother.  "Don't let this one talk you into anything, Stephen.  Take a look
at them all, but unless you absolutely love one, don't budge."

     "Oh hush, you!" Michelle protested, spanking him on the rear. "Go on
with you.  What time will we see you back?" She looked up at him with a
twinkle in her eye and Stephen smiled.  They were so good for one another
and he hoped that someday he and Eloy could have such an easy relationship
with one another.

     "Probably late afternoon, since we're getting such a late start," Alan
admitted, looking at his watch.  "Dad knew that Stephen was coming in so
that we wouldn't get started until late, anyhow. Jordan!" He called.  "We
have to go now!"

     "Well be careful, will you?" She asked.  He nodded and gave her a kiss
before clasping Stephen's shoulder in farewell.  "And call Mark if you get
into something you don't think you can handle!"

     "Who do you think it was who taught me how to do this?" Alan said with
a wink.  Stephen laughed.  Jordan came out of the house to give his mother
and uncle a hug and a kiss before heading off with his father to the car.

      After a few minutes of quiet Michelle sat back with a sigh and smiled
at her brother.  He leaned on the table and smiled back at her.  She
stretched, making a comment about how making love in the morning was a good
way to start the day.  He looked down with a grin, shaking his head at his
sister's comment.

      "You're wicked," he said warmly.  He knew she was trying to get a
rise out of him and he was determined not to react to any of her audacious
comments.  "Where are we heading first?"

      "Hmm, south, I imagine," she said, not giving him any ideas. "I
figured we'd drive around and if you do see something you really like then
we can check out the agent's office and see if we can get in."  He nodded
and got up from the table heading upstairs to get his shoes. Up in his room
he put his sneakers on and picked up his mobile where he had left it on the
nightstand.  He made his way outside where Michelle sat in her car waiting
for him.  He locked the front door on his way out and climbed into the
passenger's seat.

      "All set?" She asked, putting her sunglasses on.  He nodded as he put
his own on and turned on his mobile to see if anyone had left messages.  He
had one message waiting for him so he dialed up his answering service and
punched his password in.

      Michelle glanced over, noticing the expression his face as he
listened to the message on his mobile.  She had a good idea who had left
the message and was curious as to what was said.

      "Come on, share!" She demanded, driving down the road and heading
inland towards the mountains.  Stephen glanced at her, weighing his answer
before shrugging and putting his mobile on speaker while pressing the
button to replay the message.  He wanted to gauge her reaction to it.

      "Good morning, honing," Eloy's voice echoed inside the car and
Stephen saw Michelle shiver at the warm velvet quality of his voice again.
"I'm just headed off to the aeroport but wanted to leave you a little
morning message before I got on the plane.  We're headed off to Oslo next."
Michelle could hear the tired sigh he gave as he paused.

      "Zusje, I miss you so damn much right now." Stephen closed his eyes
as he listened to the needy tone of Eloy's voice. "And to answer the
question that I know you're asking, the answer is no.  I couldn't sleep at
all last night. Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is you.  I ache
to hold you in my arms again.  The next two weeks can't move fast enough
for me."  Stephen opened his eyes to see that his sister had pulled over to
the side of the road, unable to drive as she listened to Eloy's message.
This was all he had had a chance to listen to before restarting the message
for his sister.

     "Ik hou van jou, Ik hou van jou, Ik hou van jou." Eloy repeated over
and over again, his voice breaking down a bit before he cleared his throat
and tried again. "I want to be able to say that every morning to you, baby.
Every night. I want to wake you up with kisses, to see those beautiful eyes
of yours open up and look at me that way that you do.

     "Come back to me baby. It's only been a day and I feel as if I've lost
a part of my soul when you got on that plane. I miss you." Eloy's voice
trailed off into a whisper as he paused, murmuring in Dutch again.

     "Oh Stephen," Michelle whispered, moved by Eloy's message. Stephen
held up a trembling hand to forestall her and in a moment Eloy continued.

     "I'm sorry," Eloy said softly, having switched back to English again.
"This is not the message I wanted to leave you, honing. Ah, I don't have
time to say it. But I love you. I want you here with me, always.  I pray
that the days pass quickly until I can hold you in my arms again,
liefste. Zusje. My baby. Hold me in your thoughts as I keep you in mine." A
knocking on the door could be heard in the background and Eloy sighed
again. "Verdomme," he cursed softly. "I have to go, zusje. But I'll try to
call again tonight when I get back to the hotel. Love you."  With a click
he hung up.  Silence filled the car in the wake of his message and Stephen
shut off his mobile with a sigh.

     Michelle's eyes were filled with tears as the echoes of Eloy's voice
filled her head. She silently cursed the world that kept them apart and
reached out to grab her brother's hand.  He squeezed her hand, afraid to
look at her reaction.  He had only gotten through a small bit of the
message before hitting the replay and hadn't known that Eloy was going to
go on the way he did.

     They sat silently in the car, neither saying a word for a long time.
Stephen rested his head back against the seat and stared up at the roof,
tears blurring his vision.  He couldn't help but respond to the raw tone in
Eloy's voice, and his own heart ached with the need to hold the other man
again in his arms.  The upcoming weeks loomed ahead as an almost
insurmountable barrier and he had to deliberately push it aside.  If he
thought about it long enough, it would be the only thing he thought of and
he didn't want it to spoil the time he had with his family.

      With a bone weary sigh he wiped his eyes with his free hand and
looked over at his sister.  It had taken her a bit of time to get her own
reaction under control and she looked at him soberly.

     "Stephen, whatever it takes, however you need to, don't lose hold of
him." She said. "It's too special to let separation get in the way, to have
someone love you like that."

     "I know," he said in a low voice, trying to keep his voice from
trembling. "Michelle, I love him so damn much.  I think I would do anything
to be with him.  Damn, I wish he didn't have this promotion right now!" He
cried in frustration.  "I have the whole month free and all I want to do is
spend it with him.  I know that's not practical, but it seems like anytime
we do see each other, it's like its bits and pieces snatched where we can
get them.  Then on the other hand, it seems so damn greedy to ask for more
than we can get right now."

     "I think you have a right to be greedy, love." Michelle
responded. "Its not like you've ever had enough time for yourself, you
know. It's about time you did."

     "Then why can't our schedules work out?" Stephen said, a smile
trembling on his lips.

     "Because, dear heart, if it were easy, it wouldn't be worth it." She
leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her brother. "And I think that
he's definitely worth it."  She rested her forehead against her brother's
shoulder as she hugged him.

     "Oh, you do, do you?" He asked, knowing she was right.

     "And do you know what else I'm thinking?" She asked.  He shook his
head.  "I think you should leave him a message on his phone for him to
listen to for when he gets in later.  You don't have to leave one now, but
think of what you want to say to him and then leave him a message."  She
felt him nod slowly as he considered her suggestion.

     "I think I might just do that." He said, looking down at her.  He
brushed his lips against her forehead as he hugged her back.  "Well, you
wanted to know about us, you're finding out big time, aren't you?"

     "I am," she smiled tremulously up at him.  "And you know what?  I
think it's a grand thing that you've found someone to love who loves you
like that."  She pulled back out of his arms and turned so that she was
facing forward.  "Oh my, what an act to follow!"

     Stephen laughed at her sudden change of direction, the tension inside
of him loosening a bit.  He knew it wasn't going to be easy, and was
resolved to make it work.  But messages like that were the type to make him
break down.  He thought about his sister's suggestion that he leave a
message of his own for his lover and as she started up the car and pulled
away from the side of the road, he mulled over possible things he could say
that might make Eloy feel a bit better.  As they drove down the road he
decided to put it out of his mind, not wanting to spoil the day he had
planned with his sister.