Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 03:20:18 -0800
From: musicfan@fiberia.com
Subject: Where Do We Go #41

Disclaimer:

   While there may be rumours about the possible break up of Stephen and
Eloy, as this story takes place in the past, I will continue to write my
chapters, regardless of what future news brings the fans.  Chapter 41 is
the next chapter in an ongoing story about Stephen Gately from Boyzone and
Eloy de Jong, formerly of Caught in the Act.  I have no contact, alas with
either gentleman or group, so these chapters exist within the imagination
of the author's mind, combined with public events that happened during this
time.

   Cheers,

   Musicfan


###


     Eloy snapped out of his reverie when Ben shook his shoulder.  The
older man looked down at him with a concerned look on his face.

     "You okay?" Ben asked, thinking that Eloy wasn't looking too well on
this promotional tour.  He always seemed a bit distracted, like his mind
wasn't on what it should be.

     "What?  Ja, ja, I'm fine," Eloy said, mentally shaking himself back to
the present.  He stared at the dressing room mirror, trying to remember
where they were.  They had flown in from Stockholm that afternoon and he
knew they were in Norway somewhere.  When all you saw on a tour was the
inside of vans, radio and television stations, it all began to look the
same.  He picked up his comb and ran it through his hair as Ben turned
around to grab a shirt off the rack.  Taking another down, he handed it to
Eloy, who obediently put it on.

     "We only have a few moments before we're on, you know.  I'll meet you
outside, okay?  Just don't take too long," Ben warned him as he headed
towards the door.

     "On my way," Eloy said as the door closed behind him.  He stared at
the man in the mirror, looking critically at himself.  After a couple of
moments, aware of the passing time, he shrugged.  Running his hand through
his hair he headed out the door and into the wings behind the stage where
the rest of the group was.  Lee nodded to him while Bas paced like a
restless tiger behind the curtain.  Any moment now they were going to be
announced and would have to perform.  Eloy closed his eyes and tried to
focus on giving a good performance.  He could hear the voice of the host
talking in Norwegian and in the next moment, they were introduced.  The
curtain opened in front of them, the backing track started playing and he
put aside his problems for the moment as he danced under the bright lights
of the stage.

     From the television station they headed back to their hotel, each of
them rung out from the work.  They had touched down early in the morning
and had been running non-stop ever since.  In the morning they were to head
to Zurich, promoting their album, Vibe. They were all too tired to even
talk to each other in the van as it pulled up to the front of the hotel.
Fans immediately accosted them and they dutifully signed autographs and
posted for pictures as they made their way through the lobby.

    It was a blessed relief to find the lift doors closing out the
cacophony of sound from the fans as they made their way up to their rooms.
Their security led them to their rooms and Eloy gratefully closed the door
to his room after saying goodnight to his bandmates.  A lamp dimly lighted
the room by the bed and he pulled off his clothes as he headed to the
bathroom.  He felt like he stank and all he wanted at the moment was a hot
shower to sooth his aching muscles.  His knee was bothering him again and
he was looking forward to giving it a good soak.  He stayed in the shower a
long time, enjoying the spray splashing over his body.  When he got out, he
wrapped a towel around his waist and headed back into the bedroom.

     He picked up his mobile and turned it on, using the television remote
to turn on the tv and see if anything worthwhile was on.  After flipping
the channels, he shut it off.  He wasn't really interested in watching
television.  He noticed that the message light was flashing on his phone so
he called to check on who had called.

    The first message was from his sister, telling him that she had been by
to water the plants and make sure that everything was all right.  Another
message was from his accountant, wanting to set up a meeting the next time
he was in town.  The third was Stephen.

    "Hey baby," Stephen said, his voice surprisingly deep on the phone. It
always amazed Eloy that someone with such a sexy deep voice could sing the
high notes the way he did. "Thank you for that wonderful message earlier.
I wish I had been able to take it in person.

    "Eloy, I love you. Don't ever forget that.  We knew this wasn't going
to be easy, and we're both going to keep on working at this so that it
turns out okay.  I can't think of anything better than lying in your arms
every night.  Some day I know we're going to be able to do that, and the
hell with everyone else, yeah?"  Stephen paused as he tried to find the
right words to continue.  "I love you. I need you. I can't imagine living
another day without hearing your wonderful voice. Which simply means that
we'll just have to have a lot of phone sex to keep ourselves in line.  How
does that sound, darling?"  A rich chuckle echoed through the phone and
Eloy grinned, delighted with Stephen's suggestion.

    "Right now I'm hiding up in my room from everyone so I can talk dirty
to you," Stephen said, lowering his voice so it wouldn't carry too far.
"I'd love to see your face right now, because if you knew what I was
contemplating doing to your body right now, you'd be scandalised.  Or maybe
not. You seem to have better ideas than I do for this kind of thing.  I
guess I'll just have to practise more.  Want to help me?"  A child's voice
called out and Stephen gave an exasperated sigh as he was interrupted.
"Unfortunately, I'll have to save that part for later, for obvious reasons.
But think of something appropriate and I'll be doing the same.  Love you."
The phone clicked as it ended the message and Eloy sat back before
replaying it so he could hear Stephen talk to him again.  The automated
message system then gave him the menu again and he saved the message,
moving onto the next.

    "Oh, I almost forgot." Stephen voice came back.  Eloy chuckled,
figuring he must have rung right back.  "I have to know one thing.  Did you
buy that horse for Jordan before or after you planned the soup?  Bye now!"
Eloy laughed outright as he went onto the next message.

    It was Stephen again.  "Hey love, it's me again.  It's about 11 o'clock
and I'm just heading to my room for the night.  I know you're probably
bushed, but if you get a sec, give me a ring, okay?  I think I finally came
up with something dirty to say."  He gave an embarrassed laugh. "Oh what
the hell... might as well leave it now.

    "Eloy, imagine we're back in your bed right now. You're lying on your
back and I'm giving you a full body massage. Oh, darling!" Stephen said
into the phone, his voice dropping an octave as he imagined the scene
himself and responded to it. "That's quite a reaction! Thank you.  Is that
present meant for me?  Mmmm, I think it is.  Let me see what it feels like
to touch it.  Oooooh, nice. Hard. Silky smooth. God, I love touching you
like this.  Your chest, your stomach. Lower. I'm going to have to get me
some more of that massage oil, you know.  There's so much of you to cover,
that if I'm going to do it right, I need a lot more than what we had.

      "Can you feel my lips on you, baby?  My tongue, stroking along your
stomach?" Eloy twitched in reaction as he listened to the silky voice on
the other end of the phone.  "Oh, I want to suck you right now.  Mmmmm, you
taste so good."  Stephen paused, breathing a bit heavily into the phone for
a few seconds.  "Oh, I better leave it there or I'll start making noises on
this end.  Keep on imagining me doing that, love and give me a call back
when you can.  It doesn't matter what time it is. I'm going to set the
phone on vibrate and leave it in a sensitive place so I'll be sure to wake
up when you call.  Now, let me go back to my fantasy.  Mmmmmm, tasty."

      The call ended and Eloy was left staring into space with a silly grin
on his face.  He knew how hard that must have been for Stephen to do, and
he was delighted that he felt comfortable enough to call and leave a
message like that.  He replayed Stephen's voice in his mind, imagining him
doing the things he had talked about.  Shifting uncomfortably, he was
reminded of the lateness of the hour and debated about whether he should
call Stephen back.  But he knew if he didn't, Stephen would be
disappointed.  He shut off the lights as he moved from the sofa to the bed
where he lay down, the mobile still clutched in his hand.

      He searched for Stephen's number, the light from the phone
illuminating his face with a greenish glow. He waited patiently as he rang,
imagining Stephen waking up.

      A sleepy voice answered on the 4th ring. "Hello, is that you E?"

      "Ja, it is, honing." Eloy said, feeling guilty about waking Stephen
up. "Sorry it's so late, but you did want me to call."

      "No, its okay, sweetie.  Just a bit foggy, hold on."  Stephen rubbed
the sleep out of his eyes as he gradually became more awake. "How are you,
love?"

      "Beat," Eloy admitted, unable to say otherwise in the face of his
exhaustion.  "It's been a long day."  He knuckled his eye as he tried to
suppress a yawn.  The lack of sleep the night before was catching up to him
now that he had laid down.

     "Oh, honey, you should just go to sleep then," Stephen said, keeping
his voice low so that he didn't disturb anyone else.  The house was silent,
everyone else having gone to bed.  "You didn't have to ring me, you know."

     "Ja, I did," Eloy said, rousing himself out of his stupour. "I needed
to hear your voice."  He heard Stephen's soft sigh echo through the
phone. "Thank you for your message earlier."

     "Did you like it?" Stephen asked, a bit shy at the reference to his
audacious voicemail.  He had stayed in his room a long time before going to
the bathroom to wash up for the night after leaving that message.  He had
felt so embarrassed about it he had been sure that if his sister had seen
him she would have known that he had been up to something.  Consequently it
had been a while before he had finally gotten to sleep, his thoughts had
been so turbulent.  Hearing Eloy's voice had brought back the memory of
what he said and he blushed furiously, happy that Eloy couldn't see him at
this moment.

     "Ja, honing.  I liked it very much." Eloy admitted. "And it was just
what I needed to hear right now."

     "Rough day?" Stephen asked sympathetically.  He knew what it was to go
all out on a promotional run, and based on what he had seen of Eloy's
schedule, he was going to be constantly on the go for the next several
weeks.

     "Long," Eloy sighed. "I don't know what it was, I just couldn't get
into it today.  Got Bas pissed at hell at me at the moment, too."

     "E, you've got to focus, otherwise you're going to be miserable.  Come
on, baby.  It's not anything you haven't done a million times before,
right?" Stephen urged him.  "So get some rest tonight, start tomorrow anew,
and before you know it, I'll be back again. Just stay focused."

     "It's so hard, zusje." Eloy whispered, desperately tired.  His soul
weary sigh echoed through the phone and Stephen closed his eyes at Eloy's
tone.

     "Maybe you need to take up something like meditation, you know,
something that you can center yourself with.  I've done it in the past and
it helps a lot." Stephen said encouragingly.

     "You have?" Eloy asked, sceptical.  Stephen went on to tell him about
a book he had on meditation, and how he used it to keep himself centered
when it seemed like things could get out of hand.  The more he explained
it, the more sense it made to Eloy.  "I will try it.  But later.  Right now
I want to hear what you've been up to.  Besides talking dirty into my
phone."  He deliberately changed the subject, not wanting to waste their
time talking about things that he couldn't change.

     "What have I been up to?" Stephen mused, listening to Eloy chuckle as
he mused.  "Well, unlike you, I have been sleeping a lot.  I think our
break together tuckered me out.  My sister grilled me as soon as she picked
me up, my nephew has been bouncing off the walls since I got here.. let's
see, what else?  Oh!  Where did you get that horse?"

      Eloy laughed.  "Liked it, did he?"

      "He adores it! He's been horse mad for ages.  Michelle still wants to
know why I had such a funny expression on my face when he unwrapped it.
Not that I'm going to tell her the reason why, naturally." Stephen
said. That made Eloy laugh all the more, and finally he was able to say
that he had just made an educated guess that Jordan would like it and
picked it up when he picked up the other gifts.

     "It was a fantastic choice you know," Stephen said.  "Made me look
good, for which I thank you.  Michelle knows that they came from you, but
Alan and Jordan don't. She told me to thank you the next time we chatted."

     "I'm happy they liked them," Eloy said, delighted to know that his
gifts had been well received.  "So what other mischief have you two been up
to?"

     "Hmmm, other than her dragging almost every detail of our time
together out of me, not much else." Stephen said with a laugh.  "Though
there are some things I won't tell her, no matter how much she begs."

     "How mean of you," Eloy remonstrated. Stephen snorted into the phone
and they both shared a laugh.

     "Oh, we did see some houses today," Stephen said, going on to describe
the three houses they had driven past during the earlier part of the day.
Eloy got the sense that he was only looking because Michelle wanted him to,
but that he didn't really have any big interest in having a house.  When
Eloy questioned him on it, Stephen paused, thinking over the question.

     "I don't know, actually," he admitted. "Its just that I'm home so
little, that while I like the idea of having a place of my own, I can't see
myself spending a lot of time in any one place."  He didn't mention that
the more he thought of their relationship together, the less likely it
seemed that they could spend any of their time in Ireland together.  It was
a close knit community, where everyone knew what each other was up to, and
he just couldn't see him entertaining Eloy at a home there.  "Though if it
makes Michelle happy, I'll do it.  My accountant has been driving me batty
about doing it for a tax benefit, so I guess it doesn't matter where I get
something."

     Eloy nodded as he listened to Stephen talking.  Stephen told him about
one place that he thought he would like, but that it was a bit off the
beaten path, though not too far from his sister. From there, Eloy described
his day.  Tomorrow was going to be more of the same.

    "Oh, hon, you really should try to get some rest." Stephen said,
concerned.  Apparently the group's management had added in more commitments
than had originally been on the schedule, and it was much worse than he had
thought.

    "I don't think I can sleep," Eloy said, blinking tiredly up at the
ceiling. "I've been wound up so much I can't relax enough to sleep."

    "Eloy, are you lying down?" Stephen asked. When Eloy gave him an
affirmative, he started speaking to him softly, talking about giving him
another massage, and proceeded to verbally act out what he was doing. When
Eloy tried to make a comment about what he was doing, Stephen ordered him
to be quiet, and to enjoy the massage.

    Stephen closed his eyes as he pictured them in Eloy's bedroom again,
describing what it felt like to kneel over Eloy and lean into the tight
muscles on his back, kneading the tautness away.  Eloy gradually grew more
silent as he pictured Stephen doing exactly what he said. He could almost
feel Stephen's fingers caressing his neck before stroking his back and he
sighed as his muscles responded to the verbal description.

    "You know, you're quite good at this," Eloy murmured softly, lulled
despite himself into relaxing.  "I think you've found yourself another
career."

    "You think?" Stephen said with a soft laugh.  "Shall I become your
personal assistant and follow you around, just being there to melt all your
muscle aches away?"

    "Don't tempt me, liefste," Eloy growled, imagining what it would be
like to have Stephen there by his side on a regular basis.  He interrupted
himself with a yawn, which made Stephen laugh.

    "Okay, mission accomplished.  Time for bed, sweetheart." He said.  When
Eloy protested, he told him that if he were good, he'd give him a very nice
phone session the following night, but that he had to behave in the
meantime.  Stephen knew better than to get into that mode tonight when Eloy
was so tired and feeling rather frustrated.

    Eloy sighed, knowing that Stephen was right.  He did feel a lot better,
and knew that it was probably wise to try and get some sleep. "Have I ever
said I hate it when you're right?"

    "No, but I'm sure it won't be the first time," Stephen said with a
laugh. "Go to sleep, baby.  I don't want you falling off a stage somewhere
because of me."

    "I won't, liefste," Eloy promised.  They said their goodnights and rung
off.  Eloy lay back staring at the ceiling with the mobile in his hand
before rolling over with a sigh.  He closed his eyes, imagining Stephen's
voice as he described his massage again.  As Eloy started to relax he
slowly drifted off to sleep, a smile on his face.


* * *

    The next few days sped by, Eloy calling in from the road to chat with
Stephen when he had the chance.  They both cherished the little time they
had together, and Stephen made certain that he was by himself any time he
knew Eloy was likely to call.  His sister quite understood and for once
didn't pry.  She also offered to let him stay with her rather than go home
to Dublin, which he gratefully accepted.  He just felt stifled by the idea
of going home and staying there. He knew his mother would be disappointed
when she found out, but he needed this time to himself, and was quite
thankful that his sister was willing to let him stay.

    They spent their days together simply enough, wandering around shopping
and generally relaxing.  Jordan was delighted that his uncle was staying
longer, and ran into his room every morning to wake him up so that they
could play together.  Alan took a few days off so that he and Michelle
could have some time for themselves, since Stephen had so generously
offered to take care of Jordan while they spent some time together.  Alan
took Michelle off for a getaway into the mountains so that they could have
some quiet time.  He was appreciative that his brother-in-law had made the
suggestion, and made sure that they were well stocked before driving off in
the car with Michelle.

    Jordan and his uncle had a great time together, Stephen letting his
nephew stay up a little later than was normally allowed as a treat. They
took long walks on the beach together, and had fun making stuff in the
kitchen as Jordan helped Stephen make their meals.  By the time Alan and
Michelle returned, they found the house empty.  Stephen showed up a short
time later, having walked into the town with Jordan.  He came walking up
the drive with his nephew on his shoulders, pretending to be a horse.  Alan
smiled as he saw them together, and thought back to his conversation with
his wife.  He still thought that things would work out, despite his wife's
doubts.  He opened the door to let them in and Jordan scrambled off of
Stephen to greet his father.  Michelle came down the stairs where she had
been unpacking their overnight bags and gave her brother a hug.

    "Did you have a good time?" He asked, grinning as he saw her radiant
smile.  "I guess I can take that for a yes."

    "Stephen, have I ever told you what a wanton hussy your sister can be?"
Alan said as he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist.  She made a face
at him.

    "I thought that was a given," Stephen said with a grin, straddling the
kitchen chair and watching his sister and brother-in-law.

    "Stop it, both of you!" She said, shaking her finger at them as they
laughed. "I'm not in this house two minutes and already the two of you are
ganging up on me!"

    Alan and Stephen shared a look of amusement to which Michelle let out a
frustrated sigh.  "Listen mister, you don't behave, I'm shipping you off to
Dublin."  Immediately Stephen acted contrite, hanging his head and giving
her a puppy dog look.  It made her laugh, which was what he had intended.

    She wandered around the house, making sure that they hadn't trashed it
while she was gone.  Alan told Stephen about their trip to a small inn that
they liked to go to and when she came back he was just winding down from
it.

    "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" She asked, sitting in
Alan's lap.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her.

    "Well, Mam called." Stephen gave her a crooked grin at her start of
surprise.  He went on, answering her questions before she could ask them.
"So she knows I'm here. And no, she's not happy that I'm not staying at
home.  I told her I'd be coming over though."

    "Oh Stephen," Michelle said softly.  She knew how well their mother
could guilt trip, and she was sure that she did a number on him over the
phone.  He shrugged, not seeming to be upset.

    "Well, it's about time I went home, isn't it?" He said with a wry
smile.  "I can't stay with you the whole time I'm off, anyhow.  It's only
for another week, after all, then I'm off again, so it's not too bad."

    "Did you tell her that you weren't going to be around for long?"
Michelle asked, curious as to what was said.

    "I told her I had some other commitments coming up, but now that I had
a chance to unwind, I would be over."  Stephen didn't seem to be
particularly upset, so she relaxed a bit.  "Would you mind taking me over?"

    "Not at all, but not tonight," Michelle said firmly.  "Alan and I want
to take you out to dinner as a thank you for our holiday.  So we can go
over tomorrow, which will be soon enough."  He nodded and smiled at his
sister.  "Now, how do you feel about Chinese?"  She knew he loved it, and
would be happy to go out for a meal.

   "Adore it," he said with a grin.