Date: Fri, 06 Sep 2002 02:15:54 GMT From: Music_fan Subject: Where Do We Go #58 Disclaimer: Here is chapter 58, the next chapter in an ongoing story about Stephen Gately from Boyzone and Eloy de Jong, formerly of Caught in the Act. I do hope you like this one, and please write and tell me what you think. I have no contact with either of the gentlemen in question and such literature is the product of the author's imagination. That being stated, I also wish to say that there is explicit sex in this chapter. If you are not of an age to be reading this, please stop reading. Cheers, Musicfan P.S. Sorry for the delay in getting this up. My time was not my own this summer, unfortunately. ### The others were a little nonplussed at the sight of Stephen and Eloy coming out into the dining area. They were holding hands and both of them looked like they had just come out of the shower. Stephen's hair was still damp and there were wet spots on Eloy's t-shirt. They remained silent as the two men sat down at the table, their hands still clasped. "I was wondering if you two were coming up for air today," Keith said with a jovial grin. He picked up their cups and poured each of them a cup of coffee. Eloy took his without sugar while Stephen put one teaspoon in his before drinking. "Hungry?" "Mmm, not really," Stephen said, ignoring Keith's earlier comment. Eloy nodded and was handed the basket of breads that was still on the table. He let go of Stephen's hand so he could put some jam on a muffin and started eating. He offered some to Stephen who shook his head, indicating that the coffee would be enough for him. Shane watched them quietly as they chatted with the others, making no comment as they joshed with the others at the table. At one point, Stephen looked his way, then down again to the coffee cup in his hand. Eloy was chatting with Ronan about the football game that had happened the previous day. Stephen lost focus of the conversation. Sport was never really his thing. He let the conversation drift around him as his friends chatted. He wasn't really paying attention to what was going on until the subject changed to what they were going to do for their last day. "Steo, what do you want to do?" Ronan asked, his chin resting on one hand. "What?" Stephen asked, startled out of his reverie. His thoughts had been a million miles away and he had to shake himself to recall what they had been talking about. "What'd you want to do today?" Ronan repeated his question. Stephen shrugged, not really caring what they did. He glanced at Eloy who gave a shrug of his own. "Honestly? Stay in bed all day," he said with a small grin on his face. Keith laughed while Ronan rolled his eyes in response. "Well, if you want me to be honest, that's what it would be." Shane shook his head and made a comment about rabbits, to which the others snickered. "What about you, Eloy? You should have a say in this too," Ronan asked, looking at Stephen's lover. Eloy slanted a glance at the man beside him while considering his answer. "The first choice has some merits, I'd have to agree." That produced a chuckle around the table. They were delighted with the fact that the two were relaxed enough to joke about it with them. "But honestly, its not like we can go out at all. I think I'd prefer a quiet day just watching television or something." Stephen nodded at his comment, his face briefly clouding over before he made a concerted effort to push away the possibility of them being found together. "Okay, next question," Ronan said, looking serious. "Would you two rather be alone? Cause if so, we'll just make ourselves scarce." "You don't have to do that," Stephen protested. He glanced at Eloy and seeing his nod, continued. "But don't feel like you have to stay inside if you don't want to." Eloy nodded as he poured them more coffee. "Just want to be certain, because I know if it were Yve and me in the same situation, well, we never would have left the bed in the first place," Ronan said with a grin as he endured the laughter of his friends. Stephen looked down at his coffee mug, still smiling at the antics of his friends. Eloy rested his arm on the back of Stephen's chair and unconsciously he moved into Eloy's embrace. He enjoyed the feeling of Eloy's arm around him as the talk bantered around the table. Shane shared a glance with Keith before looking back to the couple on the other side of the table. While he was happy to see Stephen so content, he knew that the future for his friend wasn't going to be easy. He was the first one to leave the table, saying he needed to go pack his belongings. That got the rest of them up from the table and they drifted into the next room. Mikey suggested going to rent a movie or two, since the suite had a full entertainment console available for their use and Keith decided to join him. Ronan wanted to take the opportunity to find a gift for his sister's birthday, which was coming up, so he left with them. That left Stephen and Eloy alone by themselves in the parlour. Stephen smiled, knowing his friends were giving him some time alone with Eloy. He tugged on the other man's hand and pulled him down onto the sofa. There they sat close together, talking softly about little things, not really conscious of the passing time. Stephen reached up a hand to brush the hair out of Eloy's eyes and they shared a quiet moment before kissing. At this point Shane came to the doorway and saw them seated with the heads together. Rather than disturb them, he went back to his room and put his Walkman on to listen to some rap music. By the time the others had come back from their shopping trip, they found the couple seated on the sofa, Stephen's head tucked against Eloy's shoulder. Shane heard them come in and finally came out of his room, the headphones draped around his neck. "I was wondering if you fellas got lost," he commented dryly. Stephen chuckled, and when he tried to move away from Eloy's embrace, Eloy held him in place. There was no need to pretend here amongst Stephen's friends and after a moment Stephen relaxed when none of the other lads made a comment. Shane took a seat next to Stephen and held out his hand for the choices of movies. Mikey handed over the bag and Shane pulled the selections out to pick something to watch. "Roro got lost in the lady's section of the lingerie department," Keith said with a laugh, and they all looked at Ronan who held a bag in his hands. "Not for me, mind!" Ronan said as the rest of them laughed. "For my sister!" He paused before putting the bag down. "And for Yve, of course." "Of course!" They all chorused in unison, then cracked up laughing as they realised they were all saying the same thing. Ronan blushed and hurried out of the room to put his purchases away before they started the movie. Shane showed Stephen his choice, who nodded in agreement. He honestly didn't care what they watched, to be truthful. Everyone took a seat and once Ro returned, they started the movie. It was "That Thing You Do," which they all thought was a funny movie to watch. Following that, Keith put in Toy Story for Stephen, who grinned at his choice of animation. From the corner of the room, Ronan watched his friend thoughtfully. Stephen remained in the shelter of Eloy's arm, never moving that far away from him when they took breaks to get drinks or to go to the loo. Often during the movies, he caught them looking at each other more than the films and he smiled to himself. His friend was truly hooked, and he was glad he had gotten them together. When the second movie was over, they decided they needed to stretch their legs. Eloy made a comment about having to pack, and Stephen trailed out of the room after him. When they got to their room, Eloy put his overnight bag on the bed and started putting his discarded clothing into it. Stephen sat down on the bed and watched him silently. Eloy glanced at him, trying to judge his mood, but didn't get any clues from the way Stephen was watching him. "I really don't want to do this, but at least this will give us more time later," Eloy admitted, pausing to touch Stephen's hand which was resting on the bed. Stephen smiled up at him and he was happy to see that there didn't seem to be the pain of their parting like there had been in the past. A picture of Stephen standing on the stairs in the London hotel flashed through his mind and his heart constricted at the image. "E, I've always known that we would have to do this. Its not like either of us wants it, but its something we both have to deal with. Every time you walk out the door, you take my heart with you, but I'm happy about that, because I'd rather that than nothing at all." Stephen said seriously, his hand holding onto Eloy's as he stared up at him soberly. "Let's just accept that we're going in different directions, and that hopefully soon, we can get together again, yeah?" "Ja," Eloy said softly, staring down into Stephen eyes. Stephen always surprised him like this, by saying something totally opposite from what he expected. "And you always have a large part of mine, too." He sat down beside Stephen on the bed and wrapped his arm around him, Stephen leaning into his embrace. "Zusje, I love you so much. I can't tell you how much – just being here with you, I feel..." He trailed off, at a loss for words. Stephen didn't need to hear them; the same words were inside his own heart, also. "I know," Stephen said softly, reaching up to touch Eloy's lips. "You don't have to say it. I know," he reiterated. "I know, honey. And I love you more than I can say." He leaned into Eloy's arms and felt them close around him. Lifting his face up, he gave Eloy a sweet kiss, full of promise for the future. He had no intention of going back to their prior arrangement of not spending time together. He was determined that even with the threat of Louis in front of him; he wouldn't put his relationship with Eloy aside again. A feeling of peace suffused him at this decision. He knew it was the right one. "We'll work this out. I don't know how, or when, but we will. The idea of spending a lifetime without you," he hesitated as he envisioned that. "I can't imagine a future without you by my side, in my arms, loving you." His throat closed up and he could barely finish what he was saying. Eloy held him close, also at a loss for words. After a moment he pulled back so that he could look down at the younger man. Stephen was smiling up at him, eyes shining and it touched Eloy when he saw the need within them. He also couldn't imagine a life without this man by his side and vowed to do everything he could to make sure that they would have more time in the future together. The silence stretched out between them until Stephen laughed softly, acknowledging to himself that left to their own devices they would sit there all day, staring into each other's eyes. "Darling, are we going to spend the rest of the day in here, or go back out?" Eloy considered his question seriously, a slow smile creeping across his face. "Do I really have a choice?" He asked. "Yeah, of course you do!" Stephen laughed, looking at the little boy grin on his lover's face. "What do you want to do?" He grinned as he watched the emotions flit over Eloy's face as he considered their options. "I want to go back to bed with you, liefste." Eloy admitted in almost a shy tone, his admission embarrassing him. Stephen didn't say a word for a moment, thoughts whirling through his head. He jutted his chin towards the bag on the bed. "You need to move that," he said, not showing his thoughts. Eloy looked at him uncertainly before moving the bag to the floor. As he moved back to sit next to Stephen, Stephen put an arm across his chest and pushed him back against the bed. Eloy felt a sigh of relief escape him as Stephen leaned over him, a smile on his face. They stared at one another for a long moment, neither saying a word. Stephen stretched his hand out to stroke Eloy's lips, feeling the soft texture beneath his fingertips. Eloy kissed the fingers that lightly stroked his face before reaching out with his arms and pulling Stephen close. Stephen collapsed with a sigh and rested his head against Eloy's chest. Neither said a word as they lay on the bed, listening to the sounds outside the room. * * * When it became apparent that the two men weren't going to return, the others turned back to their movies and put another selection into the vcr. The sound of their laughter could be heard throughout the suite as they laughed at the antics of the movie. Back in their room, Stephen and Eloy lay curled together on the bed. Stephen listened to the strong heartbeat under his cheek and sighed softly. "What, kindje?" Eloy asked. He was stroking his hand lightly over Stephen's back, running his fingers up and down Stephen's spine. "I should pack myself. But damn, this is so comfortable, I can't get up." Stephen said, his lips curving into a smile. "Would you like some help?" Eloy asked. Stephen shrugged, loath to get up at all. A moment later found him squirming across the bed and away from Eloy as he tried to get out of the way of Eloy's tickling fingers. "Hey!" Stephen complained, trying to slap Eloy's hands away without much success. "Stop that!" His complaints went unheard by his lover who relentlessly pursued him out of the bed with a grin. Stephen fell to the floor with a thud and pouted up at Eloy. "Brat!" "Ja," Eloy said with a grin, resting his head on one hand as he regarded Stephen. "But now you're that much closer to packing your stuff." "Oh, thanks," Stephen said, giving Eloy a look that spoke volumes. Eloy couldn't help himself when he started howling with laughter. Stephen attempted to wrap his dignity around himself and act like he was going to pack his stuff all along as if it were his idea to get out of the bed. "Would you like some help?" Eloy asked again. Stephen just gave him a look. "No, you've already helped enough!" Stephen muttered. He had to turn his back so that Eloy wouldn't see the grin on his face. He couldn't help it. He couldn't stay mad at Eloy even if he had wanted to. But he kept up the pretense of being angry, just to keep his lover guessing if he was really affronted by what had happened. What he didn't know was that Eloy had already caught his reflection in the mirror and had seen the smile on Stephen's face as he turned away. He was amused at Stephen's act and let him stalk around the room as he gathered his possessions and packed them into his bag. While his back was turned, Eloy got up from the bed and moved over to where he was standing with his bag on the luggage rack against the wall. He put his hands on Stephen's shoulders and pulled him back to lean against his chest. "Still mad at me, zusje?" He murmured, lips against Stephen's ear. He felt Stephen shiver in reaction to his touch and he pressed his advantage. "I'm sorry, honing. Please don't be mad at me." "I'm not mad at you," Stephen said, leaning his head back against Eloy's shoulder. "I could never be mad at you." He pulled himself away and zipped up his bag before turning around and back into Eloy's embrace. "How much time do we have?" Eloy glanced down at his watch. "Time enough." He waited for Stephen to make the next move. Stephen wrapped his arms around Eloy's waist and hugged him hard. "Good, let's go back to bed," he suggested, pushing Eloy back towards the bed. Eloy didn't protest at all as he lay back down on the bed with Stephen on top of him. Stephen grinned, pinning him down on the bed. "Mmmm, now this, I like." "Ja?" Eloy asked, laughing up at him. "I like this, too." They shared a kiss. Stephen started nibbling off the side of Eloy's lips along his cheek until he got to the enticing earlobe. He burrowed down against Eloy's neck before circling around the edge of the collar to the opening at the front. Slipping his hand inside, he stroked Eloy's chest. Eloy made a sound low in his throat as Stephen explored, enjoying his touch. When Stephen reached his nipple and tweaked the ring piercing it he inhaled sharply, senses attuned to every touch his lover made. "Honing, we don't have much time." "I know that," Stephen said as he slid off to one side and cuddled against Eloy's chest. "I just wanted to give you something to think about for the next time." He sucked on Eloy's nipple through the cloth of his shirt, causing another sharp inhalation at his action. "Oh, don't think I won't think about it," Eloy promised him, smiling down at Stephen. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and held him close, not saying another word as they both lapsed into their own thoughts. Sounds from the others drifted to them as Stephen's band mates gathered their things. A door slamming signified Mikey leaving to return the video rentals and Stephen sighed. He felt like time was slipping through his fingers. How or when he would meet Eloy again was a question, and a part of him longed to cling to the man by his side, never wanting to let go. He had to make an effort not to get upset about it, despite his words earlier. It still broke his heart to leave, knowing that Eloy was once again going to get on a different plane and head off in another direction. He closed his eyes, willing him back to the peace he had known earlier. A knock on the door broke them out of their quiet time together and before either of them could move the door was opened by Keith, who looked inside as he called out, "You two better be decent!" "What would you do if we weren't?" Stephen asked with a laugh, still cuddled up against Eloy's chest. "Run?" "Probably," Keith admitted with a grin as he observed the two men entwined on the bed. "Steo, it's getting on and we're going to have to go soon. You've got a few more minutes, but we have our ride coming at half past. You'll be ready, yeah?" "I'm ready now," Stephen said with a nod towards the bags sitting on the floor next to the bed. "Just spending some quiet time together." "No problem then. I'll holler when its time," Keith promised before closing the door. He could be heard calling to the others, letting them know how much time they had left. "I suppose we should get up," Stephen said after a moment. Eloy leaned his chin against Stephen's head before nodding. "Ja, I would like to thank them again for inviting me here," he said in agreement. He urged Stephen to look up at him, staring into the crystal blue gaze for a long moment before giving Stephen a kiss. "Danke, kindje." "Thank you for coming here, honey. It meant so much for me to see you standing there – I can't really begin to tell you. This was special," Stephen said, smiling up at Eloy. "Ja, it was." Eloy gave him a hug before loosening his arms so that Stephen could sit up. Stephen did, stifling a sigh. He didn't want anything to mar their last moments together. They could hear the sounds of suitcases thumping down the corridor. "I guess we should get our things," he said as he held out his hand to help Eloy up. Eloy took the proffered hand and got out of the bed. He stared down at Stephen for a moment before reaching down and picking both of their bags up. "After you," Eloy said. He watched as Stephen opened the door and he stepped out into the hall. He made his way down the corridor to the parlour, leaving Stephen to give the room one last regretful glance before he closed the door on their time together. Stephen trailed him into the parlour where the others were waiting for their ride. "Eloy, your flight isn't for another hour after ours, right?" Ronan asked him, trying to remember what Eloy had told him on the mobile before. When Eloy nodded, he told him that another taxi had been arranged so that he could get his flight. Eloy gave his thanks as he took a seat on the loveseat. Stephen looked around the room uncertainly, not sure what he should do until Eloy held out a hand to him. He walked over to the loveseat and was pulled down to shelter in Eloy's embrace for a few more minutes. "I wanted to thank you all for inviting me to spend time with Stephen. It was very sweet of you to think of us," Eloy said quietly. The rest of the lads smiled at him in response. Individually, they had all noticed the change in Stephen over the last few days. Tenseness had disappeared in his demeanor, and as they looked at the couple, seeing their fingers threaded together, they saw Stephen more relaxed and happy than he had been in months. "I'm glad it worked out," Ronan said, silently admitting his fear that it all might have backfired on them. "And remember what we said before – don't hold back from us. We can help, if only you'd let us." Stephen ducked his head in acknowledgement. The ring of the telephone distracted them, and Mikey leaned over to pick up the receiver. "That's our ride, they're downstairs. I guess we should head down," he said after hanging up the phone. He glanced at Stephen, who looked resigned to their departure. "Look, we'll head down and take the bags. That will give you two time to say goodbye, yeah?" "Yeah, thanks," Stephen said as they stood up. Shane gave them a nod and patted Eloy on the back before heading out the door with his and Stephen's bags. Keith waved and picked his own bag up before leaving, shortly followed by Mikey. That left Ronan alone in the room with them. "Thanks, Ro. You don't know how much this meant to me," Stephen said as he moved over to give Ronan a hug. Eloy joined them and gave Ronan a hug also, with his heartfelt thanks. "I'm just glad you're not mad at me!" Ronan laughed. He reached over and picked up his bag. "Take some time up here, okay? We still have a little time, so you don't have to hurry down." "Thanks, Ro." Stephen said past the lump in his throat at his friend's gesture. As the door closed behind him, they were left alone in the suite. Stephen looked up at Eloy and gave him an odd half-smile while he tried to stifle a sigh. "Until the next time, yeah?" He said quietly, listening to his voice reverberate through the empty room. "Ja, next time." Eloy agreed. Then he reached out and tilted Stephen's face up to look at him. "And there will be a next time, zusje. Because there is no way on this earth I will ever be able to keep away from you like I have the past few months." Stephen glanced down, struck by Eloy's honesty. All the regret he felt was mirrored in his face as he thought back to the missed chances, and most importantly, the gap that had opened between them, even if only briefly. "Eloy, I am so sorry," he began. "So am I. But what's done is done, and we can look forward, ja?" Eloy stopped him with a touch. Now wasn't the time for self- recriminations. "Hopefully soon things will get slower for both of us and we can spend more time together. I know that's what I'm looking forward to." "Me, too." Stephen said. He glanced down at their clasped hands before looking up at his lover. "Hopefully soon. E, I have to go, they're probably waiting." "Ja," Eloy said, not wanting their moment to end, but knowing they didn't have much choice. He leaned down to give Stephen a kiss. As their lips touched, he felt Stephen's arms wrap around his neck. Deepening the kiss, he enveloped Stephen in his arms and held him tightly for a moment before pulling back with a sigh of regret. "I'll give you a call tonight, alright?" "Yeah, you do that, hon." Stephen said, a tiny smile on his face. "I'll be waiting for that." He reached up on last time to stroke an errant hair back from Eloy's face. "You have a good flight." "You too," Eloy said, gradually releasing his hold on Stephen. "You better go." "Yeah," Stephen agreed. He let his arms fall down off Eloy's shoulders. Unable to help himself, he reached one more time for Eloy's hands. Giving them a tight squeeze, he leaned in for one last kiss and pulled away. "They're probably swearing at me right now. I talk to you tonight." "Ja," Eloy agreed, his voice gruff with held back emotion. "Go on, or you'll miss your flight." He let go of Stephen's hands and stepped back to give them both some room. "Bye now." Stephen walked towards the door but hesitated once his hand was on the latch. "Love you." "Love you right back, Stephen." Eloy smiled. "Go!" "I'm going, I'm going!" Stephen protested with a laugh. With one last lingering look, he passed through the doorway and closed the door behind him. As the latch clicked, Eloy slumped down into the chair and sighed. It seemed like he had barely arrived before their time together was already over. Though it had felt that the clock had swept past them in their time together, now the minute hand on his watch seemed to drag now that he was alone. For a distraction, he turned on the television for something to watch until it was his turn to leave. Though there was an engaging show on at the moment, Eloy couldn't focus his thoughts long enough to pay attention... # # # Stephen was grateful for the tactful silence from his friends as they made their way to the airport. As soon as he had reached the lobby he had put his dark sunglasses on. If anyone looked at him, they would know the whole story by just looking into his eyes. He felt rather vulnerable amongst his friends. Fortunately, they sensed his mood and chattered on about other topics than their recent stop here in Sweden. Time seemed to fly by for Stephen, for the next thing he knew, they were getting out of the taxicab and headed off for their flight back home. They had no problem checking in, other than a few fans who had heard that they might be in the area. Stephen was grateful to get past them without too much trouble and he sat down at the waiting area for their flight. Shane sat down next to him, providing a buffer from the other people waiting at the gate. Stephen rummaged in his carry on bag until he found his walkman. Putting it on, he tried to lose himself in the music that played. It wasn't working, but it kept anyone else from talking to him, for which he was grateful. He stared out the window and watched the plane pull up to the gate, his thoughts going over the last week. Away from Eloy's magnetism, all of his doubts came to the fore again, and he chewed on a thumbnail as he thought about how they were going to make their relationship work. The threat that Louis had made still loomed above them, but he knew that with the help of his friends, he could work around Louis finding out anything. He would just have to be careful. The thought of anyone finding out about his relationship with Eloy scared the hell out of him, but knew he couldn't let that hold him back anymore. The few months had shown him how miserable they were without each other, and he didn't want to repeat that experience again. While Stephen sat deep in thought, Keith and Mikey were discussing their band mate's situation. "You know, when I think of what happened, I just want to shove Louis up the wall and tell him what for!" Keith muttered angrily, wanting to be able to do something constructive about his anger. "I know what you mean, mate, but its not for us to do, but for Stephen to do. As much as we want to, we can't do it for him," Mikey said softly. He had his own grievances against Louis for other reasons, and he tried to bury them back down before they could bubble over. "What we can do is make sure that Louis doesn't get to him again like that." Keith nodded in agreement, glancing over at this friend. They'd been through too much together for him to let someone push his little brother around. He was about to say something else when their flight was called and it was time to board. Stifling his comment he made himself a promise to make sure that Louis didn't have the opportunity again to lean on Stephen. Shane had to nudge Stephen to get his attention. Startled out of his reverie, he stared at Shane blankly for a moment before realizing that it was time to go home. His thoughts still whirling, he picked up his carry on and followed his friend onto the plane. One thing that he had determined was that as soon as he got home, he'd give Eloy a ring. He was done with hiding.