Date: Sat, 17 Mar 2018 21:46:38 -0700
From: christopher <breakingthroughstory@gmail.com>
Subject: Breaking Through 12

A very big thank you to all of the readers who have taken the time to send
kind messages for the first chapters of the story. I very much appreciate
it. Please send any feedback, complaints, and correspondence to
breakingthroughstory@gmail.com.

The usual disclaimers apply. This is fiction.

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Chapter 12

"Armie Hammer." It took everything inside him to not mention that his last
name was on a building at the other side of campus. "I'm with the band,
that sort of thing," he added.

"It's a safety precaution," the young woman said, her eyes scanning up and
down an iPad. "I know who you are, but we can't let you backstage."

Armie felt a hand grab his and he turned around, a slightly flustered Chris
somehow made it through the crowd. "All done."

"Thanks for trying," Armie told the ersatz gatekeeper. "I guess my work
here is done."

"Sorry about that," Chris said. "I got out as fast as I could."

Armie gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry about it. Let's get
out of here."

Chris had just spoken on a guest panel at UCLA. It wasn't his first time,
but it was the first time Armie had actually seen him do it. Knowing him
better than most, Armie could tell Chris was nervous, his toe tapping the
stage and his knuckles white as he gripped the microphone. But as he and
the other writers got rolling, Armie watched him relax, delivering a few
anecdotes about working with actors and then explaining his decision to
adapt his own books. Personal connection or not, Armie was rapt, feeling
the passion radiating off the stage as Chris spoke. "It's important to
inspire the youth of America," Chris had joked. "Right before you tell them
all that being a dentist is a better idea." He was a pro at combining
actual advice with some humor.

"What a way to celebrate our anniversary," Chris said as they walked down
the steps at Royce Hall. Armie had reminded him that morning, though each
of them assured the other that they hadn't made any actual plans. Chris'
speaking engagement made any sort of celebration impossible.

"It could be worse," Armie said. "At least we're together."

"Always looking for the positive," Chris said. "When I was in school, I'd
go to these things because I had to for class. Now, the kids just want to
hear about the movies. Creative writing and screenwriting aren't the same,
but for them, it might as well be."

"You could have inspired the next Nora Ephron. Maybe a new Joan Didion or
Cheryl Strayed."

"Nope. I'm sure they all thought I was some old guy that's completely out
of touch. They were probably looking for you the entire time," Chris
said. It had certainly been the case when he'd done these things with
Jake. It was easy for Jake to look inconspicuous, however. For Armie, with
his perfect posture and imposing frame, it was nearly impossible. It was
like that no matter where they went. Even if people couldn't actually
identify him, Armie stood out and drew attention to himself. Chris wondered
if he took advantage of the fact, dressing like James Dean in leather
jackets and blue jeans one day and channeling Steve McQueen the next. He
didn't ever attempt to go incognito.

"People aren't asking for my autograph," Armie said.

"Because people want selfies now, not signatures."

"They want you to sign books," Armie clarified. "So, some things do stay
old school."

A short drive later, they were sharing a pizza and Armie was looking over a
wine list. Chris watched the cars speed by outside, Armie's free hand
rubbing his thigh under the table. "I should just get a beer," Armie
decided before gesturing for the server. "This is nice. Finally getting
some time together."

"I appreciate you promoting the movie," Chris said. "I won't complain about
that. But I know it's exhausting."

"Peroni, please," Armie told the server, subtly rolled the "R" before
flashing his mega-watt smile.

"Can I get a Pellegrino with that?" Chris asked. He held Armie's hand still
under the table as it inched up his leg. Jake had always preferred sitting
across from each other. Armie always insisted that they sit side-by-side,
always ending their meals with an arm around Chris' shoulders.

"I do have something for you," Armie said. "But it's just a gift, not an
anniversary gift."

"We agreed on no gifts," Chris said.

"Just take it," Armie said as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling
out a key on a black ribbon.

Chris didn't have a response to that. Somewhat shocked, he held the key
looked up at Armie's blue eyes. "Key to The Castle?"

"I want you to move in. It'll cut down on my commute." Thankfully for
Chris, the pizza and drinks arrived before he could respond. "I can take
care of it," Armie said as the server started to divvy up the pizza. "Thank
you."

"I need to think about it," Chris said. "I have a house. I like my house."

Armie took a long sip of his beer. "Keep it. You can rent it out. I've
wanted you in my castle for months. It's taken all my willpower to wait
until now."

"I need to think about it," Chris said again. "I love you. I really do." He
dropped his slice and held onto Armie's hand. "It's not a 'no.'"

"Think about it," Armie said. "You never make things easy."

"Pizza's real good," Chris said, letting out a soft laugh. "If everything
was easy, what would I even write about?"

Armie held his glass up for that, feigning a toast. "Here's to you making
the smart move." Chris leaned on Armie, getting even closer to him. "I do
have something else."

"Don't push it."

Chuckling, Armie squeezed Chris' knee under the table. "Fine. I'll save
it."

For the next week, they saw each other every day, but Armie didn't bring up
any mention of the move. Instead of dwelling on it, he reveled in the
domesticity of cooking Chris' pre-packed delivery meals, taking nightly
walks along the canals and just doing nothing at all. It wasn't a trip to
Grand Cayman, but to Armie, it was just as good. Chris hadn't brought up
anything about the big move, but Armie wasn't going to push it. Without the
movie looming over them, things seemed easier, more relaxed. Plus, they
didn't have to hide anything about their relationship anymore. That alone
made things easier.

Ever since the incident with Jake, Armie had waited for Chris to bring it
up. He didn't. Armie casually asked Chris about his day, wondering if he
and Jake ever had the talk Chris had wanted so desperately that day. There
was no mention of it. It left Armie feeling unsettled, but he didn't want
to shatter the bliss by bringing it up himself. It seemed like Chris had
compartmentalized two of the biggest things in his life at the moment,
ignoring them completely.

Armie had always been social, the kind of person who went out every night
for a drink or for dinner, someone who talked to strangers at the farmers'
market. With Chris, he was content to stay in, perfectly happy to have
Chris' head in his lap as the two of them read--he a script and Chris on
his Kindle--or hardly working on a 1000-piece puzzle Armie found tucked in
a closet. Chris insisted it was for one of Jake's nieces, nieces that he
still called his own, but Armie tore it open and started it anyway. It had
taken up residence on one end of the dining room table, ignored except for
a few minutes a week when Armie tried to piece together an inch or two.

Back at his house, Armie almost always felt lonely. There were memories
there, specters of his ex-wife and the conflicts that they had along with
the happier family nostalgia, but the space was too big for just one
person. He'd hoped that Chris would jump at the chance to join him, but he
also understood the trepidation that came with taking that next step. Armie
considered redecorating, somehow getting rid of any evidence that Elizabeth
had ever been there. It could work. Armie realized as he straightened up
his bed that he was starting to feel more comfortable at Chris' house. It
was neutral territory for everyone, Armie included. Sighing, he wiped his
face with his hands. Hopefully, things would get easier as soon as Chris
made up his mind.

"Nick, sell my house," Armie said into his phone, his eyes aimed at the
ceiling of his living room.

"Can't do that," was the only response. "Really. Your parents would kill
me." Armie had known Nick his whole life. He was based in New York, but
Armie knew that his real estate agency had offices everywhere. He could
sell The Castle if he wanted to.

"He doesn't want to move in. I don't want to be here anymore. There's no
reason to keep it."

"You're exaggerating," Nick said. "The Hammer charm hasn't ever
failed. This guy must be broken."

"He's definitely broken," Armies said. "But it's not that."

"When am I going to get to meet him? You're keeping him from everyone."

"You're never out here."

"I could say the same for you."

There was a pause. It wasn't often that Armie actually called Nick on the
phone, but it seemed right to actually speak. Texting wouldn't have gotten
the emotions across. "Divorce, man."

"Tell me about it," Armie groaned. "There's no rulebook for what to do the
second time."

"You seem happier," Nick said. "Up until now, at least."

"I thought I was doing everything right. I thought he'd want to move in
here." It wasn't that Armie was unaccustomed to not getting his way--things
had just seemed to be heading in that direction. Sure, Chris was stubborn,
but he seemed to enjoy himself at the house.

"I don't know what to say. It looks like you found the one person that can
actually resist your charm."

"You can be such an asshole," Armie said. "I'll talk to you later. You're
no help." He hung up after he heard Nick chuckle. Getting up off the sofa,
Armie walked through the living room, shutting off the lights. The house
seemed empty and too quiet. It was definitely too big for one person and
even with two people it would be overkill. But alone, everything seemed
magnified. Armie had never felt so alone in his own house and he didn't
like it. As he headed up to the bedroom, he let out a long sigh. There was
nobody to hear him, which only exaggerated the fact that he was by
himself. As the lights shut off, he wondered just how much longer he'd have
to make this solitary trek. Chris would be here tomorrow, which gave Armie
one more chance to plead his case.

"I got the steaks," Armie heard Chris from the entryway, followed by the
sound of Chris' boots on the hardwood floor. It was enough to make Armie
forget all about the emotions from last night. The two of them met in the
kitchen and Armie smiled at the sigh of Chris here in his house. To Armie
at least, he looked like he belonged there.

"T-Bone?" Armie asked, already knowing the answer.

"What else?" Chris said, unloading the groceries onto the counter. "You
want me to start the grill?"

"Come here," Armie said, pulling Chris into his arms. His hands slid down
Chris' back and he felt their bodies relaxing against each other. "I'll
take care of dinner. You take it easy."

Chris gave a soft laugh, "I haven't done anything all day. I only drove
over here and got food. You're the one that needs a break. You take it
easy."

Armie kissed Chris softly, pressing their foreheads together and giving a
tiny nod, "I'll take a break." Chris gave him a playful poke on the side
and finished putting away the groceries. Armie watched from the family
room, lying back with his feet up on the couch.

"Jake told me that we made a mistake," Chris said, crossing his arms over
his chest and leaning against the counter. "I think he wants to try again."

"Say that again?" Armie said, sitting straight up. His eyes were wide and
his heart thumped up into his throat. He couldn't believe Chris had tossed
that statement out with such nonchalance.

Sighing, Chris made his way to Armie, sitting right by his feet on the
sofa. He rubbed at Armie's arches, all size 14 of them and met his
eyes. "He told me that the divorce was a mistake. That we could get back
together. But I'm here with you."

"Why would he do that?" Armie asked, adjusting himself on the couch so that
they were side by side. He rubbed Chris' thigh, willing his heart and his
breathing to slow down. "He's crazy."

"Don't say that," Chris said, holding onto Armie's hand. He rested his head
on Armie's shoulder and let out a long sigh. "You don't know him like I
do. Nobody does."

"You're with me now."

"I'm with you now," Chris repeated. "He hurt me. I can't do that again."

"I won't hurt you," Armie said. "Never."

"We'll hurt each other," Chris said. "That's part of it."

"I thought there'd be a huge blowup," Armie admitted. "I thought you'd
choose him."

That was the first crack Chris saw in Armie's veneer. Always confident and
sure, there was nothing that broke his composure. Even when Chris saw him
with a broken bone, he was smiling and cracking jokes.

"Do you still love him?" Armie asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Of course I do," Chris said. "But it takes more than that." He turned to
nuzzle at Armie's neck. "I love you and I'm here with you."

Armie let out another long breath. Here for how long? In love for how long?
That new uncertainty was worse than what he'd been thinking about before.

"I'll make dinner. You can stop worrying." Chris straddled Armie's lap and
cupped his cheeks, kissing him one more time.

"I would have fought for you."

"You didn't have to."

Chris did make dinner, albeit with some supervision. As Armie let the
information settle in his mind, however, he counted it as a victory. As
Chris watched the steaks on the grill, keeping his tongs off of them but
his eyes focused on the searing meat, Armie wrapped his hands around his
waist. "What if I move into the Venice Beach house?" he asked.

"You're crazy," Chris said. He reached to flip the steaks, but Armie
stopped him.

"Flip them one time. Steaks aren't toys."

"You can't give this place up. I would never ask you to do that."

"You're not. I am asking you to let me into your house. I want to live our
lives together."

"But I like the pool here," Chris said. "You can't make me choose."

"I'm serious," Armie said. "If I can triumph over Jake Gyllenhaal, I can
convince you to move in somewhere."

"It wasn't a competition," Chris said, finally flipping the steaks,
revealing the perfect dark grill marks he'd been hoping for. "You had me
that first night."

Armie blushed, feeling color rise not only on his face but his chest,
too. Part of him was glad that Chris wasn't turned around to see it for
himself. "This isn't the only place I have with a pool," Armie said. "My
parents' place in Dallas has a pool. You saw the Cayman pool. Your house
has the Pacific Ocean."

"You practically live at my house already," Chris said. "Did you have this
planned all along?"

"Give me two for two tonight, Chris. You know you want to."

"Food first, then we can make grown-up decisions."

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