Date: Sat, 6 May 2006 23:14:19 -0700 From: christopher. Subject: breaking through part 17 This is fiction. I don't know Jake Gyllenhaal and my little story doesn't imply anything about his sexuality, but I'd do just about anything to have Jake all to myself. Feedback is greatly appreciated and any writer will tell you that they live for it; I'll answer every single one you send. Usually, I'm quite prompt about it, too. Author's Note: Thanks for reading and writing, as always. New fans are popping up all the time and I love getting mail from new voices as well as keeping in touch with fans that have been there since the beginning. Words of encouragement are great, but so are the critiques and comments that go with them. I'm not made of paper, I can take it. So keep those e-mails with questions/concerns/ideas coming to christopherrluu@gmail.com. I'll be waiting. This chapter is dedicated to Carter, self-confessed #1 fan and hopeless romantic. I hope this does what you wanted justice. On with the show: Part XVII Chris grabbed Jake's hand, his other reaching up to wipe away a stray tear. Feeling Jake grip his hand, he looked back up into Jake's eyes, warm even though they were a little misty. The sun was bright and the smell of grass and flowers perfumed the entire garden. Chris was holding his breath, too happy to think about anything but love. "And with the power vested in me by the state of California..." Chris' tears fell freely now, he couldn't even hear the officiate finish. He wasn't sobbing, but his entire body seemed to just swell with emotion. Looking around, he saw that wasn't the only one. Jake grabbed his other hand, bringing him to his feet, the sound of applause filling the air. Through his tears, Chris saw Peter lean over and lift Maggie's short veil, their lips coming together in a kiss. Chris felt Jake throw an arm over his shoulder, both of their faces streaked with tears. Jake's thumbs wiped Chris' away, before they both watched Maggie and Peter walk down the aisle again, arm in arm, smiles on both of their faces. The warm sun shone down on the entire scene, rice flying through the air as the cheers and clapping kept going so long Chris thought it'd never stop. "Geez, I'm crying because I saw you. You just set me off," Jake said, grinning through the tears. "Your sister just got married," Chris said, surprised Jake would be embarrassed about something like that, "you should be crying." "You're such a softy," Jake said, pulling him into a hug, "you and me both." Chris felt his body sink into Jake's, glad that Seattle, with all its memories and rain, was behind them. Jake's hand ran up his back as he pressed their foreheads together, "Sometimes I feel like 'I love you' isn't enough, especially when I see things like this." The crowd was starting to scatter, the afternoon reception in a glass conservatory somewhere else on the grounds, most of the guests glad to get out of the direct sunlight. Chris reveled in it though, the warm rays washing over the skin of his neck as he and Jake stood still, "It's enough for me," Chris said, "and I'm not just saying that." "I can't believe they're married," Jake said, sighing, "four years together and now it's forever." Forever was a word Chris didn't think about too much, so much had happened to him that made sure that there wasn't the possibility of forever, everything seemed to be cut short, interrupted by fate. He didn't think much about fate either, but he wrote about it, whether he named it directly or not. Chris pulled off his white tie, rolling it up and shoving it into his pocket. He stopped and yanked Jake's off too, fingers trailing over Jake's trimmed beard, neat and tidy for Maggie's wedding, but not clean-shaven because he knew it Chris liked the feel and look of it. "Save a dance for me tonight?" "What are you talking about? You're not leaving my side," Jake said, pulling him into a kiss, Chris' fingers still running over his scratchy beard. Maggie would have too much on her mind to worry about their lingering tardiness. Chris felt Jake unbutton the top of his shirt, hands running over his shoulders and down to his waist. Their foreheads pressed together, Chris smiling wide as his fingers tangled in Jake's. "How do I look? Puffy and red?" Chris asked, shaking his head and straightening his jacket. Jake smiled, "You look great," he said, back of his fingers grazing Chris' cheek. They rushed the rest of the way to the reception, everyone already seated and talking when they found their table, Maggie and Peter walking in and waving to everyone just as they sat down. She blew Chris and Jake a kiss, her simple white dress and little gloves looked vintage, the details of Peter's classic tuxedo matching it perfectly. Chris felt Jake's hand on his shoulder, lips leaning to his ear, "I love you." *** "Looks like we got stiffed, Christopher," Peter said, sitting down in Jake's empty chair. He was going to correct him, but Maggie seemed to be calling him Christopher more often than not and it probably rubbed off onto Peter. Chris looked over to where he was pointing and saw Jake and Maggie slow dancing on the floor, their bodies swaying to the music before Jake dipped her dramatically, both of them erupting with laughter. "Having fun tonight?" "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Chris said, watching Peter reach for a bottle of champagne to refill his glass. He waved his hand when it was half-full and Peter kept going, grinning. "Maybe soon we'll be seeing you and Jake tie the knot," Peter said, sitting back in the chair. Chris looked over to him and raised an eyebrow. "You've been wearing that ring for a while." Chris glanced down at his hand, the shiny square of silver on his middle finger sparkling in the flickering candlelight. It was scratched and dull, but still something he was proud of. "It got stuck," Chris said, "and it's just a ring. It's nothing." He'd just picked it up off of Jake's dresser one day, but it seemed to be something people were drawn to, Topher had asked about it, tabloids threw rumors around its existence, but Jake seemed to be ignorant to its presence. "Not to you it isn't," Peter said, "otherwise, you'd have gotten it off." "It's nothing." "It's not nothing," Peter said. Chris looked up at him, his face serious. "Let me see." He grabbed Chris' hand and examined it, attempting to spin the ring around and trying to gently slide it off. He and Chris had grown a lot closer, but they didn't see much of each other, didn't get a chance to acclimate to each other's idiosyncrasies. Chris liked Peter's easygoing attitude, his deadpan delivery of even the most hilarious jokes, and more than anything, the way he made Maggie happy. "It's stuck?" "I've tried soap and lotion, it's not going anywhere." "How long has it been?" "A few months," Chris said. "No, how long have you and Jake been together?" Chris thought about it, his attention focused on the bubbles rising through the gold of his champagne. "Over a year." "And Jake hasn't seduced you with the idea of lifelong, eternal, never-ending commitment?" Peter's choice of words was ridiculous, but Chris owed it to the champagne and the almost dreamlike situation they were both surrounded by. "We're not like that. I guess neither of us really thinks about that sort of thing. I don't, at least." "Let me see it again," Peter said, grabbing Chris' hand. Chris offered it and Peter examined it more closely, "I got it. Stay calm." Chris watched as Peter opened his mouth and slid his finger into it, teeth settling behind the band and slowly wriggling it off. It hurt at first, but when Chris tried to pull away, Peter held him steady, grip firm on his wrist. "No, Peter, it's okay, really" Chris said, a hint of panic in his voice, "don't." His voice trailed off as Peter kept pulling. It slipped off and Peter dropped it from his mouth into Chris' open hand. Both of them sat transfixed on the overarching simplicity of it all. Chris had the means all along, he just didn't think to use them. "You just have to open your mouth," Peter said, "for that," he said, motioning to the ring, "and for that." He motioned over to Jake, who was coming over to them now, a grin on his face. "Just think about it. You know how words work, you know what they can do." Chris slipped the ring quickly into the pocket of his shirt, leaning up for a kiss as Jake sat down. Jake gave Peter's shoulder a hearty slap, "Great party." "We're brothers now, man," Peter said, getting up. Chris stayed seated, sliding the ring onto his thinner index finger, feeling how easily it spun around. Chris wasn't sure what to think as Peter's words sunk into his head, commitment wasn't something he thought about often--ever, really. He woke up and there was Jake, he fell asleep to the steady beats of his heart, he trusted Jake with his life, and that was enough for him. "I have to make sure everyone's got enough booze, so I'll see you guys around. Get up and dance, make sure you eat your fill, have a good time. That's all we're asking." Peter gave Chris a wink before heading around to the other tables, a huge smile on his face. "You looked great out there," Chris said, leaning his head against Jake's shoulder. "They're going to be happy together," Jake said, "and soon we'll be uncles and have to hear about joint checking accounts and tax breaks. We'll baby sit and spoil the kid rotten." He pulled Chris' hand into his own, eyes still fixed on Maggie on the dance floor, dancing with an uncle or a family friend, her expression happy to say the least, blissful a more accurate description. Jake's words mixed together with Peter's, Chris' mind spinning with the onslaught of ideas and opinions. The wedding ordeal wasn't helping either, his entire body emotionally drained from the crying this morning and the happiness he felt when Jake grabbed his hand. "Do you remember what was playing when we first met?" "What do you mean?" "Already too much champagne for you tonight, Chris?" Jake asked, smiling. "But the first time we met, it was for like thirty seconds. I was buying coffee. I didn't know who you were," Chris said, "It was a long time ago." "And we were at Starbuck's. One of their CDs was playing," Jake explained, pulling Chris up to his feet. The band was just finishing a song, Jake leading Chris to the dance floor as they started the next one, "and after you walked out on me, all I had was the music." Jake's hands pulled Chris' to his shoulders, his hands sliding down to Chris' waist. "And this is what was playing when I turned my back on you?" Chris asked, his ears searching for something familiar. It was Frank Sinatra, that much he knew. Jake pulled their bodies together, both of them swaying with the slow beat of the music. "I knew there was something about you the minute I saw you," Jake said, "you were too marvelous for words." "Is that what's playing? Did you ask them to play it?" Chris asked, hearing the change in Jake's voice as they moved to the music. Feeling Jake nod, Chris wrapped his arms around Jake's neck, resting his head on Jake's shoulder as they rocked together. Jake rested his cheek against Chris' hair, everything fading away so that it was just the two of them and the music, their bodies moving smoothly and effortlessly as the song went on. "I didn't know you were so sentimental," Chris whispered. "I'm full of surprises," Jake said, pulling their bodies tighter, "weddings always make me all sappy." "I can't believe you remembered the song," Chris said, relaxing in Jake's arms. "I remember that, I remember the first movie we saw together, the things we talked about, what you wore, what you smelled like," Jake said. Chris closed his eyes, just listening to what Jake was saying, trusting that he wouldn't let them collide with anyone else on the floor. Chris was sure he had it all written down somewhere, not the straight facts like Jake may have had memorized, but he had it all in one way or another. "You are full of surprises," Chris said, lifting his head to face Jake again, a lazy smile on his face, eyes warm. "Do you ever think..." Chris started, not knowing where he was headed, Peter's voice still ringing in the back of his mind. "What?" Jake asked, grinning. "You're not all there tonight." "Too much excitement in one night," Chris said, pushing everything Peter said out of his head. His mind flashed to the Oprah show, other interviews that asked both he and Jake about relationships. They were in one, that was clear enough to him, but they were so much more than just boyfriends. What they had, Chris didn't know how to describe it, there wasn't a word for it. Jake was everything. Jake had been there through book tours, losing his publisher, finding another one, his movie, the crazy accusations of plagiarism, everything. He'd been with Jake on set, off set, during publicity tours, photo shoots, everything. They did everything together and when they were apart, they thought about being together. They were somewhere in limbo between boyfriends and something more. That's the only way he could explain it, but he knew that he was the only one who understood what that meant. The song ended and Chris pulled away to clap, leading the way back to their table. He needed time to think. Maggie jumped in front of him, breathtaking in her strapless white dress. "You're the only one left, Christopher," she said, smiling. Jake gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, "Careful with him," Jake said to her, "we've got to get home in one piece." Chris turned around, leading Maggie to the floor, "What did he mean by that?" she asked. Chris only shrugged, hands on Maggie's waist. The song was faster, both their bodies moving with the steady beat. "I'm proud of you two. At first you know, I didn't know what Jake was getting into, but seeing you so happy together, what was I thinking?" "Come on, tonight's about you, not us," Chris said, "Peter's such a great guy." "He adores you," Maggie said, "everyone does." Chris could feel himself blush, "Your entire family--everyone--is just too nice to me." "It's not hard when Jake picked one of the greatest guys out there," Maggie said, "and someone who could deal with him. Not everyone can." "Stop it, he's just...he's not like anyone I've ever met," Chris said, looking over to the table. He was talking to Peter again, both of them laughing and joking. "You should hear the way he talks about you. He's convinced you hung the moon, you're the reason the sun comes up," Maggie said. "I already said that tonight's about you, right?" Chris said, "Enough about us. You got married." "We've been together for four years. When we wake up tomorrow, the only thing different is this ring on my finger. Commitment's commitment," Maggie said, "now we just have an excuse to get a divorce." Chris pulled Maggie into a hug, "You're the best." One more spin and the song was over, Chris giving Maggie a kiss on the cheek before taking his seat next to Jake again. "You guys looked good out there," Jake said, his arm over Chris' shoulder. "Peter and I traded Gyllenhaals," Chris said, "I saw you while I was dancing." "Too bad he got the good one," Jake joked, "you're stuck with me." If that was all the commitment talk he was going to get that night, Chris would take it. After all, the night wasn't about him and Jake. It was about love though, and they had plenty of that. *** "Why do you look so sad in these pictures?" "Because I was tired, I was in New York by myself, and you were partying with your actor friends. I read about it on Page Six," Chris said, pulling on a sweater. "I was talking on the phone with you the whole time, I was all sad, remember?" "It's weird seeing you without a smile on your face," Jake said, shutting the laptop. "Why are you even looking at pictures of me online?" "Did you know there are entire message boards dedicated to you? Pictures and everything, stuff I've never seen before. Lots of pictures, of us together even. Most of them are us together." "And there are probably dozens for you," Chris said. "I don't want to think about people looking at pictures of us. It's creepy." "No, you look cute in the pictures. When you're smiling, I mean," Jake said, snapping his watch on his wrist. "Especially those pictures of you on the beach." "I've seen those, you're in them too. On the other side of the shower, I thought." "But I'm not looking at myself," Jake said, pulling Chris into a hug, "I'm looking at the sexiest writer there is." He punctuated the last four words with kisses, Chris smiling at the gesture. "I still can't believe you're looking at paparazzi pictures," Chris said, "but we've got to get going." "We're already late, what's the point in rushing now?" "This is serious, Jake, I'm getting announced with Knopf. I never go to these book things and it's a big deal they're even having it in LA." "Are you even pronouncing that right?" "I don't actually know. It's part of Random House, that's easy enough to say," Chris said, pulling the sweater off. He fiddled with a tie instead, finger clumsy he was so nervous, realizing that he might just be in the same company as Toni Morrison and John Updike. "It means a lot to me, even if it's not a big deal to you." "I know it does," Jake said, "and it is a big deal to me. I'm ready, just give me the word and we're off." Chris leaned down, Jake's hands pulling him down, lips softly grazing each other, Chris' eyes shutting and his pulse instantly slowing. Jake knew exactly how to calm him down, how to make him relax, even if it would make them late. An hour later, Chris was grateful that Jake had redlined it all the way to Los Angeles, tossing the keys to the valet as they walked into the building together. Their was only one press stop for pictures and they were inside, no frills, no problems for either of them. Vivian pulled Chris aside, Jake following, "They have a table of the new book and you have another photo op there." "Okay," Chris said, already nervous, "should Jake head inside or can he come too?" "Don't worry about me, I'm going to get something to drink," Jake said, "but I'll be right there." He gave Chris' shoulder a squeeze before braving the crowd; almost sure nobody there knew what he was doing there. Chris nodded and followed Vivian to a table covered with the new book, Nothing Precious/Ikebana. He held the book in his hand, his shortest yet, flipping it over and over to see both covers. He glanced around at the other writers' tables; he was situated with some other newcomers, the more established authors on the other side of the room. Vivian was talking to the photographers; motioning to Chris that everything was ready. Chris held the book and posed, a slight smile on his face, turning to face the cameras that surrounded him. Jake watched from the crowd, Chris was handling the entire thing like a professional. He'd have been terrified if this was just a few months earlier, but he smiled and flipped the book over, making sure both covers got attention. Jake sipped his mineral water, feeling just slightly out of place, knowing that this was exactly how Chris still felt at movie premieres and charity benefits. They were part of the industry, but Chris wasn't, even if people treated him like he was. If the paparazzi pictures Jake looked at earlier today said anything, Chris still didn't like it, was still surprised and almost shocked every time he saw a photographer following him, ducking into just about anywhere to get out of the way. As the photographers stopped clicking, the fans started moving in, looking for autographs and handshakes. Jake smiled, this was the part that he knew Chris liked. He could talk anyone's ear off about his books, it was where he was most comfortable. "Joseph Trask," Chris looked up and shook his hand, "I'm just two tables over. I just wanted to say that I love your work." "I read your book, too," Chris said, excited, "I loved that it was about someone going to Hong Kong, I sort of did that with Ikebana, Japan instead though." Joseph Trask was a younger version of Lewis and Clark, he basically went places and wrote about them. Chris read somewhere that he'd managed to create a fan base of hip college travelers that seemed to want to go anywhere he wrote about. Chris had only read some of his work, but he came out with about two books a year, his latest being on Hong Kong. Chris liked the exotic locales, the fact that Joe got lost every other chapter, and how language barriers were more of a hindrance than lack of money. Chris figured all the other books would be the same, so he didn't read any of the other ones. "I can't wait to read it then," he said, "you can call me Joe. If Ikebana is about Japan, what is the other story about?" "Choosing one thing over another," Chris said, "it's hard to explain." "I have all night for you to explain it, my friends didn't want to make the drive down." "Where do you live?" "Santa Cruz," Joe said, "you live in Santa Barbara, right?" Joe knew all about Chris, it was really hard not to, interviews splashed across magazine pages every month. "Yeah, just a bit little closer than you. I'd love to sit and talk but I have some stuff to do tonight," Chris said, searching the crowd for Jake. He didn't see him right away, but more often, Jake found him in a crowd, not the other way around. "But let me get you my info and maybe we could meet up. I love Santa Cruz, I saw it when I went up to Big Sur." "Your interviews have been sort of standoffish lately, is something up? I figured that magazines got cheap thrills out of making you sound like a bitch." It caught Chris off guard, he didn't re-read any interviews, really just getting the magazine to look at the pictures and making sure he didn't look like a complete fool. "Stress," Chris said, convincing himself that was the reason, though inside he knew it was more than that. "Moving publishers was a big deal." Joe nodded, his wavy hair showing glints of gold in the dirty blonde. Chris shook his hand again and ventured into the crowd, hoping Jake wasn't standing somewhere, asleep on his feet. "Hey," Chris said quietly, subtly running his hand over Jake's. Jake seemed to fill with a new energy when Chris came up next to him, "we can get going now, I think I've had enough of this crowd." "We've only been here for forty-five minutes," Jake said, "are you sure?" "I signed a few books, I don't know what else I need to be here for," Chris said, "don't you want to get home and you know, just relax?" Chris said, leaning in closer to Jake. They had a sort of ritual at these sort of events, neither discussed it, but both knew that at some point in the evening, Chris would be on his knees in the bathroom, Jake's fingers doing their best not to mess Chris' hair up too much. It didn't happen at the Oscars because cameras were on the both of them all night, Chris sometimes thought of it as a lost opportunity. "Or we could go to Urth, maybe go to that bookstore you were talking about?" Jake's hand grabbed Chris', the room crowded enough that nobody was paying any attention to them. John Updike was getting most of the attention, writers like Chris, young and still trying to establish themselves as more than just a flash in the pan, were relegated to the sidelines, singing books for younger readers and, in Chris' case, the Hollywood crowd. Jake didn't know if it hurt Chris' reputation in the literary world to be so involved with something like celebrities and Hollywood, but he did know that Chris didn't think about it much, except when he was slipping down the bestseller's list or a critic gave him a particularly scathing review. Chris pulled Jake towards the main door, the process entirely too difficult because of how crowded the room was. "Christopher!" Chris ignored it, but Jake spun him around, both of them surveying the crowd for whoever yelled. Chris didn't recognize anyone, he never did, but Jake was looking for anyone who was heading towards them, concentrating on bodies, not faces. "I'm so happy for you," Chris felt arms wrap around his neck connected to a girl he vaguely recognized. "Thanks so much," Chris said, intentionally avoiding proper nouns. "The Natalie Portman posters are everywhere, in every magazine, and you're the new blood at Knopf." "It's really exciting," Chris said, feeling Jake's hand on his lower back. "But I've got to get going, long ride ahead." "You don't remember me, do you?" Chris was embarrassed and nodded nervously, "I'm no good at this, sorry." Jake recalled how many times Chris had been right where he was, standing idly as Jake caught up with an actor he'd worked with years ago, someone he'd seen at an awards show way back when, or someone he'd heard about from someone else. Chris was a good sport though; shaking hands after Jake introduced him as a good friend, a best friend sometimes. "This is Jake Gyllenhaal, best friend, partner in crime, same thing." Jake shook her hand, her expression unfazed, surprising both Jake and Chris. "We went to grad school together. You'd think that with ten people in class, you'd remember me." She smiled, her red hair and soft features still only vaguely familiar. "I wrote the stories about girls stuck in their houses." That flash brought back everything. Chris remembered the stories, one after another, of girls, adolescents or younger, only sometimes dabbling in characters that were older, stuck in their homes because of overprotective parents or inexplicable illnesses. Chris hated them, but he remembered that she'd been really nice, always having good things to say about his own writing. "Oh wow. Are you signed with Random too?" "Yeah, I write children's books now. Well, more young adults. No more trapped girls, I'm all about rich girls with too much time and money on their hands now. Weird how we went in completely different directions." Jake raised an eyebrow, not quite connecting the two genres together. "That's great for you," Chris said. He thought he could almost feel Jake's body slouch with boredom, "But we've got to get going. It was really nice seeing you again." Jake was grateful that they were finally leaving, the fresh air surrounding them a welcome change from the stuffiness of the party. "I can't stand my own crowd," Chris said, hand reaching over for Jake's. He was sure that there wasn't a single crowd Chris could stand, people of all sorts making him nervous, putting him on edge. "I think I can get us to that bookshop," Jake said, glad to be away from the entire situation. Books weren't really something he got into until Chris. Maggie would throw a few things his way once in a while, but with scripts flying at him all the time, he didn't get around to them most of the time. Chris took to the Hollywood scene though, Jake noticed, Topher probably helping because he was so cool about it, same with Natalie. Jake was glad he didn't get in with the wrong crowd. "Thanks for this, really, I know you were probably miserable..." Chris said, his voice apologetic. "No. Stop," Jake interrupted, "it means a lot to you." Jake rocked from his heels to his toes as they waited for the valet to bring their car, wanting more than anything to kiss Chris but not knowing when the headlights would turn the corner, "so it means a lot to me, too." *** Chris walked right past the magazines as soon as they got to the bookstore, his steps determined. He didn't know if Joe Trask's books were in biography or nonfiction or even somewhere else, but he had to take a look. He looked like a sort of intellectual surfer in person, but when Chris found a book and flipped it over, he saw that the publishers played up the surfer aspect of him. Chris skimmed the short biography and opened the book, this one on Thailand, to the first few pages, almost forgetting that Jake was somewhere in the store. "Do you have the new Lewis?" Jake asked the clerk, he recognized that it was Charles, the same clerk that was always there, but he didn't want to mention anything. "Front table," Charles said, "you're like the Lewis police. It must be nice having you out there patrolling the bookstores for him." "No, I just wanted him to see the store. Chris is actually here somewhere, we came from some book thing." Charles eye's grew wide, "Are you fucking kidding me?" He lifted his hands and Jake saw that he was reading the Ikebana side of the book behind the counter. "This story is awesome, I've got to tell him. I've got to get him to sign these, all of these." "He'll do it, you don't have to worry about that," Jake said, smiling. "He's not in the gossip rags this week," Charles said, "and neither are you." "I'm sure that's a nice change," Jake said, straightening up the stack of Chris' books, "I make it a point to be as boring as possible so that they ignore me." "Good plan," Charles said, "if you two were together, you'd be the hottest thing going. I mean, we're sick of reading about the other ones. We need some real news." Jake threw him a questioning glance, "Jake, this guy Joe is a one-trick pony," Chris said, walking up to the counter. He smiled at Charles as he loosened his tie, "How many times can you write about getting lost and not being able to ask where you are?" "I'm a big fan," Charles said, his pale skin blushing. Chris looked at the books on the front display, surprised that his own was front and center. He didn't react at all to what Charles said, figuring that it was directed to Jake. After all, it usually was. Charles looked shocked, figuring he'd gone too far and looked like a crazed fan. Jake pulled Chris back to the counter, "He was talking to you." "Oh shit, sorry. For the 'shit' and for ignoring you, actually," Chris said, surprised, "still sort of new the whole thing. Nobody recognizes me." "But you went to Japan, right? You're huge over there," Charles said, "it must have been crazy." "No, there are a lot of people, but they're tame. And I don't know what they're saying, so they could be shouting crazy stuff while I smile and wave at them," Chris said, shaking Charles' hand. "Are you reading it already? It came out on Tuesday." "We had boxes of them for a week, some of us snuck some copies to read in the back." Chris and Jake both smiled, imagining clandestine copies of Chris' book floating around storerooms, exchanged in private meetings and dead-drops in employee lockers. "Could you sign the ones we have out? The customers would love it. And by customers, I mean the employees will snatch them all up." Chris reached for his pen, always in his pocket, and turned to the books. Charles bounded out from behind the counter to help him open them up to the title page. "Jake, can you believe it? Third one's done." "This one better hold them over for a while," Jake said. "What do you mean, are you taking time off?" Charles asked, watching intently as Chris signed his name: Christopher. No "Lewis," a bold period right after the last stroke. Eleven letters was long enough, no need for anything extra. "Sort of, I don't know how long it'll last though. I have a bunch of stuff lined up." "Magazine work," Jake explained. He hoped it didn't seem a little odd that he knew all about Chris' life, but it was more for him and Chris than it was for Charles. He needed to know that Chris knew exactly what he was getting himself into. "Esquire, right?" "A short piece in every issue once a month," Chris explained, "and I have a Allen Ginsberg thing at Carnegie Hall. I'm reading 'Howl' for the fiftieth anniversary." "Whoa, they chose you?" Charles asked, "I mean they could have picked anyone," he corrected himself. Chris wasn't a nobody by any means in the literary world, but for the fiftieth anniversary, they could have had Maya Angelou read, anyone really. It was a huge deal. "Well, I had to sort of fight for it. The literacy campaign helped." "Did you see we put you in the front window?" Charles asked, straightening the books again. Chris hadn't noticed it, too engrossed in finding out more about Joe earlier. He figured it was a healthy competition, he wanted to see what else was out there. "It's so I can spend more time seeing things," Chris said. Jake and Topher's movie was coming out soon and the entire thing was more about spending time with Jake, but he didn't want to hear himself say the words. Work had always been the priority, but with Maggie and Peter planting seeds in his head at the wedding reception, he couldn't think about anything but commitment. Were he and Jake already completely committed to each other and just not saying anything? Exclusivity and commitment blurred together, making it that much harder. That's how Chris felt, but there was no way to know if that's how Jake felt. A year was a long time for anything, Chris thought. It seemed long enough to solidify the idea that they were going to be together for much longer, but Chris tried not to think about it. Every time he saw the meaningless ring on his finger, he wondered if he had attached something to it a long time ago that that it never meant to have. "Spend more time working on new ideas and stuff," Chris said, "without worrying about putting out something I'm not proud of." "Six months is a big commitment," Charles said, "that's actually six chances to put out something you're not proud of." "I won't let him do that," Jake said, "I promised him." *** "He's not an actor, Maggie," Jake said, phone trapped between shoulder and ear, "he doesn't really hide his feelings. When something's wrong, I can tell." "So what's wrong?" "He's not himself. It's like he's always thinking about something he can't tell me about. I don't know how to explain it." "How long has he been like this?" "Not that long, I think maybe a few weeks," Jake said, hearing the front door open. Chris had gone for his morning jog and Jake had called Maggie right after he snuck away from Chris talking to the ocean again, talking to his parents. It was the third or fourth time Jake had eavesdropped, he'd have done it more if he knew when Chris was going to do it, and just like every other time he did it, he felt his heart grow heavy with guilt. He had hoped to gain some sort of insight to what was bothering Chris, but the wind was heavy that morning, throwing his voice in every direction but Jake's. He caught this and that, nothing that explained Chris' sudden change, though. Jake was worried. "I'm going to see what's up. Love you." Jake snapped his phone shut, the sound of the shower running drifting down the hallway. Yanking off his t-shirt, he tossed it onto the bathroom floor with Chris' sweaty t-shirt, his boxer- briefs landing beside it as he slid open the shower curtain. "Made it home in one piece, did you do the whole eight miles?" He shook his head, "Just a slow day, I guess," Chris said, settling into Jake's arms. The hot water poured onto his tired muscles as he felt Jake's scratchy beard rasp against his cheek. "You weren't waiting for me or anything, were you?" "No, but what's going on up here," Jake said, lips grazing Chris' temple, "something bothering you?" Jake jumped straight to the question at hand, he'd already run the gamut of possibilities in his head--everything from book sales and reviews to things he had done. Everything seemed just about perfect, Jake thought, unless he'd done something without realizing it. If that was the case, he was giving Chris the chance to tell him. "My back," Chris said, Jake's hands immediately sliding down the slick skin, feeling for tight muscles. "Lower," Chris said, leaning forward, the spray of the shower shooting droplets of water right off of his head. Jake felt a knot, his thumbs stroking it, doing his best to loosen it up. "Right there." Jake's thumbs ran over the tight knot, his cock growing stiff without him even realizing it. He willed it to soften, biting his lip as he watched the play of muscle under skin on Chris' shoulder blades. "Is something going on that you don't want to talk about?" Jake asked, his voice low. If Chris wasn't thinking hard enough, he'd just go out and say it. He saw the reaction right away, Chris' entire body tensing. "I don't think so," Chris said, turning around, soapy hands running over Jake's chest. His head was so scattered lately he didn't know what Jake was trying to get to. He had been thinking about writing, one long piece broken into six chapters or six short pieces, personal stories or straight fiction, something weird or something accessible, and he'd been thinking about the promotional tour he'd be tagging along on. He didn't want to be a bother, but he didn't think he could stand being away from Jake, especially if Jake was crisscrossing the country, seeing things that he wanted to see himself. "Why?" "You seem sort of, I don't know...distant?" Jake said, fingers pushing Chris' hair back off his forehead. Chris thought about it for a little before looking up into Jake's eyes, hands coming to a stop on Jake's shoulders. Jake looked genuinely worried, his thick eyebrows furrowed as he scanned Chris' face. "I'm sorry. I don't know if it's just work or..." Jake shushed him, their lips connecting and Chris' mind going blank. "No work, not for me or for you," Jake said when they broke apart, "this is different from before. We'll be working together now, that's why you're coming along." Chris let it sink in, not sure what Jake had meant by "distant" before. Chris shut the water off, sliding the curtain open and handing Jake his towel before grabbing his own. He dried himself off quickly and walked into the bedroom, towel draped loosely around his waist. "Whoa, Chris hold on," Jake said, following him, drops of water sprinkling across the floor. Jake reached for Chris' shoulder, feeling how fast Chris' heart was beating as he turned around. Chris looked confused, his eyes darting from Jake's face to a picture they he had tacked on the wall of them together the night of the Oscars, bow ties untied and their faces covered with goofy grins. It had been in People Magazine, the paper slightly yellow now from the sun shining on it day after day. "What are we, Jake?" It was too blunt, "We're more than boyfriends, I know that much," Chris said, trying to soften the blow, "but what is that?" Pulling their bodies together, Jake felt both their towels fall to the floor. Jake wasn't sure what to say, wasn't sure if it was even his place to say anything, if anything he saw it as a mutual decision. It was like he was being slammed with a freight train. "What are we," seemed a simple enough question, but Jake was drawing a blank. He clutched Chris tighter to his body, feeling him relax slightly, lips leaving soft kisses on Jake's neck. Jake's hands slid down to Chris' waist, lips reaching down for Chris', tongue slipping into his mouth when they met. Chris' lips were frantic on his own, hands clutching at Jake's chest as their cocks grew hard and their bodies moved together. Chris felt Jake push him down, his damp back falling onto their unmade bed, Jake settling on top of him. Warm skin against warm skin, Chris' hands ran up Jake's back to his shoulders, searching for the security he felt whenever his hands were there. His mind spun with unanswered questions, but as Jake's tongue ran over his jaw and his hand wrapped around Chris' dick, he could barely remember his name. Jake stroked him slowly, his practiced hand knowing right where Chris liked his thumb, just how quick to move. Chris' whimpers under him only egged him on, ragged breathing letting him know that he was headed in the right direction. Shuddering at the sensation of Jake's fingers inside him, Chris shut his eyes tight; slow, controlled breaths escaping his mouth. He reached up for Jake's neck, pulling him down for a kiss as Jake's fingers grazed his prostate, drops of pre-cum leaking onto his stomach. Jake knew how to make it slow, drive Chris crazy with anticipation, but he also knew how to boil it down, give it hard and rough when Chris needed it. In a second, Jake had him pulled up on his knees, thighs spreading Chris' legs apart right before Jake slid his hard cock in, one slow and smooth stroke right to the hilt. Chris shuddered, head dropping slack as Jake nibbled on the skin at the back of his neck. His fingers gripped the sheets, knuckles white as Jake pulled out and pushed right back in, a string of grunts punctuating every movement. Jake's finger pressed into the skin of Chris' waist, one hand gripping his shoulder as he slammed his cock in, hard and fast. He felt a sense of urgency for some reason, his movements already frantic and rushed. He heard Chris groan, head thrown back now and he grabbed Chris' hair, pulling his head back so that he could kiss him, tongue penetrating his mouth with the same frenzied pace. He pulled out, Chris glancing over his shoulder questioningly before Jake pushed him forward until his he was gripping the top of the sturdy wooden headboard, Jake's cock sliding back inside him instantly, hitting him at a different angle and sending shocks up his back. Chris' shoulders burned from the strain, his entire body tingling with waves of sensation. His cock was hard, but when he let go of the headboard to stroke it, Jake's thrusts pushed his chest into the cold, stiff wood, so he ignored it, groans of relief falling from his lips when he felt Jake's hand on it again. Chris felt Jake's thrusts get shallow and short, strings of staccato thrusts alternating with groupings of a few slow ones, their lips meeting as Jake stroked his cock and gently pulled on his balls, incoherent mumbles on both their lips. Jake could see the strain in Chris' back, every muscle pronounced and tight as his groans got deeper and longer, head tossing from side to side. Jake felt Chris' body go rigid and then strings of white-hot cum pour over his fist, every stroke spilling more and more over his tight fingers. Jake kept thrusting, his body running on instinct and adrenaline, exhausting himself even if it was Chris who had just gotten back from a run, and when he came, he saw stars, flashes of light on his eyelids before collapsing down on Chris, their bodies settling together in a familiar tangle of limbs as they regained their breath, Chris eyes shutting as his head rested on Jake's chest, the comfort of Jake's arms around him indescribable and as he let sleep overtake him, he had forgotten what had riled them up to begin with. *** "You don't hire people to do that for you?" Topher asked, smiling as Chris shut off the vacuum cleaner. Chris gave him a quick hug before he wrapped up the cord and hung it on the handle of the vacuum. "The studio's maybe...I don't know, ten by ten?" Chris said, looking around, "I can handle it. What are you doing up here?" Chris smoothed his t-shirt and ran his fingers through his hair, still damp from the second shower he'd taken that day. "Visiting some friends," he said, eyes sweeping across the studio. He'd only seen it from the house; never having set foot inside the place he'd heard Jake talk about, Chris' hideaway, his sanctuary. "Jake's out?" "Grocery shopping, I think. Running errands." "Door was unlocked," Topher said, more to say it than anything else. They both knew it was pretty much understood. "So this is where you work? Nice and tidy." "Usually," Chris said, "but sometimes it can get bad. I wanted a mini-fridge in here, but Jake said I'd never leave." Topher nodded, "He's probably right. That's a cool footrest thing, is that what it is?" "It's a skin horse," Chris said, "like from the Velveteen Rabbit. Jake got it for me a long time ago." "And this is a cute picture," Topher said, holding up the frame so he could get a better look at it. Jake and Chris were both wearing heavy coats, both of them smiling widely as they sat on what looked like a snowy stoop. "New York?" "Yeah, Maggie's house," Chris said. Topher sat down on the couch, watching Chris straighten his books and toss some stray notes into the trash. "She got married." "Wow, that's a big deal," Topher said, "did you guys have a good time?" "It was really fun," Chris said almost automatically. He stopped to think about it and realized that yes, it was fun, but there were moments that he'd describe differently. "Actually, yeah, except Peter was saying all this stuff and then Maggie said something and I've just been sort of out of it since." "Since the wedding?" Chris nodded, folding up the gray hoodie he kept in the studio for when it got cold and setting it on the arm of the couch. "What do you mean?" "I asked Jake about where we stood, if we were really serious or if this was just something to pass the time. I mean, I know that it's serious, I just needed to hear it, needed to know just how we are, you know?" Chris couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. It sounded even more psychotic when it wasn't in his head and was rushing out of his incoherent mouth "What did he say?" Chris huffed, "I didn't get a straight answer." "Is there one?" Chris thought about it and realized that Topher had a point, hated that he was almost begging for something that he couldn't even explain to himself. "I fucked up, didn't I?" Chris' voice was quiet, his eyes focused on the patterns the vacuum had made on the rug. "We all need to hear it sometimes," Topher said, "this is nothing." "That's the thing, he tells me he loves me all the time," Chris said, "I just wanted, I don't know, I don't know what I wanted." He let out a long breath, sitting down on the couch next to Topher, a welcome hand wrapping around his shoulder. "You're worrying about something that should be the last thing on your mind," Topher said, "there's a better chance of Jake spontaneously combusting than something happening between the two of you." "I want to hear him say it. I want him to promise me," Chris said, leaning back on the couch, eyes to the ceiling. "Pretend I'm Jake," Topher said, turning to Chris, "what would you say?" "It's not a game, Topher," Chris said, hands covering his face. The room started filling with light, golden and deep as the sun started to set. If Chris had been writing, this would be when he'd shut his laptop, the light hitting him right in the eyes if he sat at his desk. But the couch faced away from the window and Chris and Topher sat and watched the shadows stretch across the room, Topher not wanting to interrupt the quiet reflection he knew was going on in Chris' head. "What's wrong with me? I've got what I want, it should be enough." "I already said it, we all just want to hear someone say it," Topher said, "I'm sure if you just said something, he'd say exactly what you wanted to hear. It'd just be 'Chris, you're the best, I'll love you forever.' Then you'll make out and you'll have everything." Chris stood up, squinting because of the bright light, but the house still looked empty, his studio went from bright to dark in no time at all, the house blocking the sun's natural light as soon as the sun sunk below it. The light made Chris' white t-shirt almost glow, his skin tanned, and his eyes sparkling as the light shifted. It looked like something out of a movie, but Topher pushed that all out of his head. He wasn't one to take advantage of the vulnerable. "If you were Jake," Chris said, "that probably wouldn't be what he'd say." "Let me try again," Topher said, "I'm just getting warmed up. It's Method Acting 101 for you. It's a practice run for when you tell Jake what you want." He pulled Chris up off the couch so that they were facing each other. "Ok, I'm not an actor," Chris said, "I said, 'Jake, I don't know if it's just work or something' and then he well, he wasn't wearing a shirt." "Does he take his shirt off from the front or the back?" Topher asked. Before Chris could answer, Topher had grabbed his collar, pulling his t-shirt up off over his head. Jake didn't do that, usually he pulled at it from the back, but Chris didn't say anything as Topher's lean chest came into view, golden sunlight defining every long muscle. "What happened next?" "What happened or what would I say?" "What did you say?" "He just grabbed me," Chris said, grabbing Topher's forearms, he didn't know if he was steadying himself or stopping Topher, "and that was the end of it." "You should have told him that you wanted a promise," Topher said, green eyes sparkling in the light. They were so different from Jake's, the were narrower, less expressive but still speaking volumes, "I can make you happy for the rest of your life, Chris. Just you and me, together forever." "Yeah," Chris said, "that's sort of what he'd say." "And then he'd kiss you, right?" Topher said, leaning in closer, voice barely a whisper, "to seal the deal." Chris nodded slowly, feeling Topher pull away. "So yeah, that's what it was supposed to be like," Chris said, swallowing hard, "but that's not what happened." Topher didn't know what to say. He didn't mean to take it so far. He could feel that Chris was uncomfortable, so he had to back off. He didn't want to, but he pulled away and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it over his head quickly. "Fuck, I forgot to ask if you wanted anything to drink," Chris said, "and you've been listening to my bitching. I'm such an asshole." "No, it's okay," Topher said, "you've got a lot on your mind. I'm good. Your studio's really cool." "Come on inside," Chris said, "Jake should be back soon with food and stuff, I swear I'm not usually like this. If you're hungry, there might be some crackers or something, some leftovers from last night." "It's fine, I know you've got a lot on your mind. And I'm fine," Topher said, but Chris insisted. He looked around the studio one last time, deciding it was clean enough. Before Topher knew it, he was following Chris out of the studio. Chris slid the back door open, surprised to find the entire house smelling like flowers. He looked around and saw candles lit in clusters all over the place: on the coffee table, the kitchen counter, the mantle, the shelves, the end tables, the dining room table, even some scattered on the floor. They were all different sizes, but they were all white, Chris didn't recall Jake ever mentioning anything about candles before, except that he liked to light a few for the dinner table sometimes. Chris walked slowly through the house, his steps unhurried as he tried to take it all in, ears focused and listening for some sign of life other than he and Topher, the flickering light casting shadows on every wall, eerie, amazing, and enchanting all at once. He wandered into the kitchen, finding Jake leaning against the kitchen counter, a smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest. Topher stayed in the living room, still taking in all the candles and the overpowering love that seemed to permeate the entire house. He knew what it felt like to be the third wheel, but right now, he felt like he was intruding on something truly sacred. He didn't think that Jake had it in him to be so romantic, but here he was sitting in the middle of it all. There was no denying it. "Chris," Jake said, his voice low. Chris fell into Jake's arms, not even trying to hold in the emotions welling up inside him. "I love you." "Jake, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to just throw that out there earlier, it's just that Peter and Maggie's wedding sort of hit me," Chris said, his words rushed and tumbling over each other, "I don't care as long as you keep saying that you love me, I don't care." Jake held Chris tight, rocking his body gently, "Shhhhhh, me and you are in it for the long haul, I promise." The words rung in his ear, it was all Chris needed to hear, the promise he'd been waiting for. The more he had thought about it, the more he realized that Jake wasn't the sort of person who just said things out loud, he mulled things over in his head before doing anything, Chris just wanted to break his skull open and get to the thoughts. "We're more than just boyfriends," Jake said, "you know that and I know that. The only thing that makes what we have different from Maggie and Peter is a piece of paper and a ring." Chris felt his body settle into Jake's as he kept talking, everything falling into place. Jake smelled like laundry, his skin warm against Chris', the familiar feeling of his scratchy beard on his cheek all adding up to the same Jake he fell in love with. Chris pulled Jake down for a kiss, his fingers tangling in Jake's coarse hair, eyes shut tight, "I love you, Jake, I love you so much. I've never loved someone like I love you." "So I don't know if we can get a piece of paper, but I do have this," Jake said, reaching to pull something out of his pocket. Chris leaned back, his arms still clutching at Jake's shoulders, watching as Jake slowly opened his hand to reveal a silver band, simple and clean. "Read what it says inside." Chris picked it up, surprised to find that it was heavier than it looked, and squinted to read the inscription in the flickering candlelight. "I can't read it," he said through misty eyes, a weak chuckle coming from his mouth as he wiped at his tears with the hem of his t-shirt. "It's what you do to me and what you say that I do for you," Jake whispered, slipping the ring onto the little finger of Chris' right hand, "inspire." Jake's hands moved up to frame Chris' face, thumbs wiping away the stray tears that glistened in the candlelight. "I've got one too," Jake said as he lifted up his hand, Chris' eyes drawn to the identical ring on Jake's pinky, "I'm going to love you forever." Chris smiled through his tears, Jake never did anything the way other people did, he was always setting himself apart. Jake leaned down for a kiss, slow and deep, Chris' body practically melting into his. "You two just passed the line from cute to mushy," Topher said from the doorway, both Chris and Jake's heads snapping over to him, "I think a congratulations is in order." "Did you know the whole time?" Chris asked, his forehead furrowed. "Someone needed to keep you out of the house, right?" Jake whispered, "Grace is the guy for the job, any job." Chris saw Topher nod, a single tear falling down his face before he wiped it away. "You guys mean the world to me," Topher said, "I'd do anything for you." "A table for three is waiting for us," Jake said, "let's blow out these candles and celebrate." *** Topher watched Jake's expertise with the chopsticks and Chris' dreamy eyes looking at his pinky, a lazy smile on his face. "You guys know every good restaurant in town." "If Jake could make sushi, then we wouldn't have to leave the house," Chris said, picking up a piece. When Jake had called him and asked for his help, he felt his heart crack and crumble. He hated himself for what he wanted, hated that Jake and Chris trusted him with just about their entire lives. He swirled his chopsticks in his soy sauce, watching the ripples move across the tiny plate. He'd sacrifice his happiness if it meant Chris would have it, it was the least he could do. "You two better not screw this up," Topher said, "I didn't make the drive up here for have you just fizzle out." "Thanks, Topher," Chris said, smiling, "for just being there. For everything." "A toast," Jake said, lifting up his tiny cup of sake, "to us, to this promo tour, to this movie, and more than anything, to what we've got. Not just what Chris and I have, but this friendship that I thought we'd never have." "Here, here," Chris said, smiling, "to us!" "To us," Topher said, grin on his face. It was so well-practiced that he almost convinced himself. *** Topher drove home that same night, knowing that if he stayed, he'd hear things that would only make him crazy. Jake had told him that he'd pay him back, make it up to him somehow, but the only thing Jake had that Topher wanted had just been cemented as something he'd never be able to have. If he didn't have a chance before, this just proved that Chris was gone. He didn't know if he was sad or angry, but he had a long two hours to think about it. The only thing he was sure about was his heart. It was broken and he'd have to go back and try to pick up the pieces. Chris couldn't keep his hands off of Jake the entire time at the restaurant, his entire body tingling every time he saw his ring or Jake's. As soon as the door shut behind them, Chris' lips were on Jake's neck, hands reaching up to unbutton Jake's shirt, shaky fingers feeling Jake's warm skin under his hands and Jake's chest rising and falling with every breath. Chris pulled his sweater off, throwing it onto the couch as Jake's shirt fell to the ground. Jake took a deep breath and slammed him into the wall, a shock going through his back as Jake's tongue crept in to his mouth. He grabbed Jake's shoulders and flipped them around, Jake's back on the wall as he kissed down Jake's chest, lifting his own t-shirt up over his head before his fingers worked at Jake's jeans. They fell from Jake's waist, crumpled denim around his ankles and warm fingers on his thighs as he kneaded Chris' shoulders. He bit his lip as the cool air rushed around his cock, quickly replaced by Chris' warm tongue. Long, slow licks on his shaft, Chris' eyes fluttering shut as he pulled gently as Jake's balls. He lapped at the head of Jake's cock, grunting and taking as much of the shaft into his mouth. Jake threw his head back as the slick warmth surrounded his shaft, pulling his t-shirt off and tossing it to the floor as Chris' tongue moved to his balls. Chris lapped at Jake's shaft, pulling his pants off, his hand reaching down for his own cock. Jake looked down, Chris' eyes shut tight as he licked at Jake's shaft, hand stroking up and down his cock; he could feel his cock swell, his breathing ragged as Chris sucked at the head of his cock. Panting, he gripped at Chris' hair, moving his lips up and down his shaft in the dim hallway, pulling Chris up to kiss him. "Fuck, Jake," Chris groaned, feeling Jake's hand on his cock. Chris felt himself being pulled into the bedroom, sheets still messy from that morning. Chris laid back, feeling Jake's body slide over his own, hairy chest and stomach tickling his skin, goose bumps spreading across his body. He felt Jake's lips on his neck, "Jake, I...oh," he panted, Jake's hands running down Chris' chest. Jake's knee spread Chris' legs apart, hearing Chris gasp as Jake's finger slid inside him, slick with pre-cum and saliva. His back arching, Chris let out a long hiss, Jake's finger right at his prostate, a tingle shooting up his spine and spreading across his body. Jake pulled Chris' leg over his shoulder, running his hand over the skin, lips nipping at Chris' ankle as he shuffled forward, the head of his cock inching inside of Chris' tight channel. He froze and Chris' eyes shot open, expectant and questioning. Chris licked his lips, his mind spinning. If today was about anything, it was about asking for what he wanted. "Fuck me, Jake," he said, his voice raspy and dry. He was breathing heavily, trying to get more of Jake inside him, but Jake held him steady. It felt strange, hearing the words coming out of his own mouth. Hands resting on Jake's flexed biceps, he said it again, "Fuck me." Jake's eyes were intense and concentration masked his face, but when he slid in the rest of his cock and saw Chris' eyes shut and his neck strain, Jake's own mouth dropped slack and he bit his lip, thrusting hard and steady. Chris grunted, reaching to kiss Jake's neck, lips going right to where it drove Jake crazy, feeling Jake's thrusts get faster and shorter, his own cock rigid and leaking pre-cum onto his stomach, a repeat performance he could go through over and over again. Gripping the sheets, Chris couldn't feel his hands anymore, couldn't feel anything except Jake's cock inside him one minute and pulling out another just to slam back inside. Jake's mouth attached to his, both of their breathing heavy and hot as the room filled with a searing heat. Jake's hips moved faster and Chris let out a long groan, his hand franticly stroking his cock. Jake pulled his hand away, gripping Chris' shoulder and flipping them over, Chris groaning as Jake's cock sunk that much deeper. He ran his fingers through his sweaty hair, legs flexing as he moved up and down, Jake's cock hitting him deeper, the angle slightly different and sending new shocks of feeling through his entire body. He swore he could feel it in his fingertips and toes. Jake groaned, watching Chris' lean body move over his own, eyes shut and face determined. He stroked Chris' cock, feeling it throb and leak as he thrust up, toes curling. Shuddering, he felt a warm gush on his chest and his eyes shot open, watching as Chris' cock sent a long ribbon of cum onto his heaving chest, Chris' entire body flexed in knots of muscle. His mouth hung open, silent but conveying everything Jake felt in his own body. His jaw tensing, he tried to hold Chris steady, but his body seemed unaware of its own climax, shuddering but still moving up and down on Jake's cock. Seconds felt like forever, Jake's back straining into a smooth arch as he grabbed Chris' hips and shot, hot searing cum flying into Chris' ass, Chris' forehead pressing against his own as he winced, both bodies shuddering as they clutched at each other, lips hungry for a connection. Chris slowed his movements and felt himself fall down, body melding to Jake's as they kissed, lust insatiable even after all that. Chris' hands ran over Jake's neck, fingers feeling the rough hair of his trimmed beard, Jake's hands running up his back as their breathing slowed, bodies growing calm together as they settled into the folds of the sheets. Chris rested his head on Jake's chest, feeling and hearing the steady heartbeat. Jake threw his arm over Chris' body, feeling the weight of the day on his body and his heart. "Here's to us," Jake whispered, "until death do us part." He felt Chris nod, not sure if he was falling asleep or if he heard, it was good enough either way. --- Feedback? christopherrluu@gmail.com