Date: Sun, 27 May 2018 11:22:23 -0700
From: christopher <breakingthroughstory@gmail.com>
Subject: Breaking Through 22

A very big thank you to all of the readers who have taken the time to send
kind messages for the story. I very much appreciate it.  Please send any
feedback, complaints, and correspondence to breakingthroughstory@gmail.com.

The usual disclaimers apply. This is fiction.

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Chapter 22

"I've read all your books. Seen all the movies. I think it's required at
this point."

"I don't think so," Chris said. "I'm not there yet, but I appreciate it."

"I drove through Carmel after reading one of your books."

"Did you also go to Japan? I don't think most people got through that
book," Chris said.

"Can't say that your book compelled me to go there, but I have been. For
work."

"There you are," Armie said, his arm coming around Chris' waist.

"This is my husband, Armie," Chris said. "Armie, this is Oscar."

"Oscar Isaac. Nice to finally meet you," Oscar said as he extended his
hand. "I've heard so much about you. About the both of you."

"Likewise," Armie said, offering a firm handshake. He pulled Chris closer
to him, kissing him on the temple. "Dessert's coming."

Chris reached up and felt Armie's stubbly cheek, "I'll be right
there. Oscar was saying that he actually read all of my second book, which
deserves some sort of commendation."

"Yeah, it's weird that nobody really got into short stories of modernized
Japanese mythology," Armie said.

"You get cocky and you try to experiment," Chris explained, reaching out to
grab at Oscar's forearm. "But honestly, I really appreciate it. You really
made my night."

"No, no. You deserve it," Oscar said, smiling. "You've written so many
good, amazing books."

"Stop, stop. We should be getting back to our table. It was nice meeting
you, I hope that whole 'Star Wars' thing works out for you," Chris said,
chucking softly.

"Were you flirting with him just to make me mad?" Armie asked, his lips
grazing Chris' ear as they walked away from the bar, forgetting to grab
their drinks.

"Did it work?"

"Maybe if you learned to flirt, it'd work a little better," Armie said,
kissing Chris' cheek. He got an elbow in the side, but managed to get Chris
into a proper hug, kissing him just a few feet from their chairs. Armie
pulled them in a different direction. "He was really laying it on."

"Some people like my books! Imagine that," Chris said. "He's cute. Very
debonair."

"I can do debonair," Armie said, squeezing Chris' ass.

"Is someone jealous? Looks like I can be flirty after all."

"Who's cum is inside you right now? His or mine?" Armie said, his hand
creeping around to Chris' groin, his breath hot against Chris' neck. They
were inappropriately close to one another for a formal dinner, especially
one celebrating the museum that bore both of their names, but Armie didn't
seem concerned. He pushed Chris against the wall, having managed to find a
dim area away from the crowd.

"You're going to kill me," Chris said. He gripped at Armie's shoulders,
gasping when he felt lips at his jaw.

"You're mine," Armie said, his voice bordering on a growl. "All mine."

"We have to stop," Chris said, his hands sliding down Armie's chest.

"Fine," Armie said, taking a deep breath. He willed his erection to go
down, even though Chris' kisses at his jaw weren't helping the
cause. "Let's get through this. Thank god this only happens once a year."

Chris pressed his forehead against Armie's chest. "It's an honor," Chris
said. "and the fact that your mom raised $3 million is insane."

"She's good at things like that," Armie said. He reached down to hold
Chris' hand. "Did the menu say chocolate cake?"

"Does it matter? I'm going to eat it no matter what it is." Chris reached
out to straighten Armie's tie and smooth his suit jacket down. Armie
brought Chris' hands to his lips, kissing his knuckles before leading him
back to their table. Just as Armie had recalled, there were two perfect
pieces of chocolate cake waiting for them.

"Mom," Armie said, noticing his mother approaching them. He could almost
see Chris bristle.

"I noticed you two were late," Dru said as they both stood up. Neither even
had the chance to start on their dessert.

"We were on time," Armie said, his arm wrapping around Chris'
shoulders. "We just skipped the step and repeat."

"If you're on time, you're late," Dru said automatically. "If you're early,
you're on time."

"This is a beautiful fundraiser," Chris said. "Did Armie tell you that are
working with the Hammer Foundation to put on a performance at the historic
theater inside the Ace Hotel downtown?"

"He did not," she said, looking up at her own son. "That's very good to
hear."

"We're still working things out," Armie said. "Chris is writing a play."

"That is wonderful to hear," Dru said, smiling.

"It's still just starting," Chris added. "Honestly, we're just thinking
about it, working some things out. I don't have anything actually written."

"You could adapt your latest book," Dru suggested. "It's wonderful."

"That's an idea," Chris said.

"We'll figure something out," Armie interrupted. "We always manage."

"Let me know when you've managed. I'll be there," Dru said. She leaned in
to give Armie and Chris a kiss on the cheek before finally walking
away. And just like she'd showed up in their orbit, she disappeared,
leaving them in a cloud of expensive perfume.

Armie could taste chocolate as his tongue ran over Chris'. Most of the
party had moved outside to the courtyard, which made sense for an annual
event called "Gala in the Garden," though Chris noticed that it wasn't
actually a garden, since he only counted four trees in the open
space. Chris felt the cool concrete of the building against his back and
the heat of Armie's body pressed to his front. They'd escaped, finding
themselves just around the corner from everyone else, behind the darkened
gift shop. Chris felt his heartbeat pick up when Armie's mouth moved to his
ear. "I hate when you wear turtlenecks," he said, running his hand over
Chris' chest, feeling soft cashmere and firm muscles under his
fingertips. "I'm telling Ilaria. No more."

"Then stop biting so hard," Chris said. He was up on his tiptoes by now,
Armie's body still pressed against him.

Armie only let out a soft laugh, "Sorry. I know I get carried away. Like we
are right now. I just can't keep my hands off you sometimes."

"I wasn't complaining about what's going on right now," Chris said,
lowering himself back down to his heels. "But we probably should get going
if you want to keep going." He had to admit that it was exciting, even if
the prospect of getting caught by his in-laws or the event photographers
was definitely not exciting.

"I want to get out of here and I want you to out of that turtleneck."

Jake slid his phone back into his pocket and took another sip from of his
latte. Ramona would be bounding down the steps any minute. He needed to
turn off the alerts for Chris for his own sanity, but he couldn't bring
himself to do it just yet. Seeing photos of Chris and Armie together at the
museum, however, had brought up enough emotion to remind him that knowing
every detail of Chris' social life wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"Can we stop by the bookstore on the way home?" Ramona asked as she hugged
her uncle. "Uncle Chris told me that I should read a book called 'James and
the Giant Peach.'"

"Yeah," Jake said, somewhat surprised that she'd bring up Chris right as
Jake was thinking about him. "Did he call you?"

"We FaceTime," Ramona explained.

The two of them walked a few blocks towards Maggie and Peter's brownstone
and Ramona explained that she and her uncle, her ex-uncle, though nobody
would ever call him that, spoke pretty often. He always asked her what she
was reading, recommended a few books, and told her that she was definitely
too young to read any of the books he wrote.

"He also said that I should start the 'Harry Potter' books now, so mom and
dad are going to get me the whole set."

"Those are good," Jake said as they walked hand-in-hand. "So is 'James and
the Giant Peach.'"

"Armie says that I should read them before I watch the movies, but Uncle
Chris said it didn't matter."

Jake almost stumbled at the mention of Armie, but kept walking. He'd been
seeing Dan, the architect that Maggie introduced him to, for a while now,
and Ramona hadn't ever mentioned him, even though they'd met more than a
few times. Dan Barasch was behind a revolutionary idea for an underground
park in Manhattan, hoping to transform the unused trolley station under
Delancey Street into a public space and not just an abandoned memory. It
seemed silly, but he'd gotten a lot of funding from private investors and
the city, which was how Maggie met him. Jake thought he was kind and
genuine. Plus, he was out of the public eye, even in New York City. That
was something Jake could definitely get used to. Chris would like him, Jake
thought.

"The library never has 'Harry Potter' or 'James and the Giant Peach,'"
Ramona continued. "And Uncle Chris said that he'd send them to me but I
want them now so I can talk to him about how giant the peach is."

"It's pretty big," Jake said. "There's a big spider in it, too. I know
you're not into that."

"Armie said that spiders are important because they eat other bugs," Ramona
said gleefully.

"He's right," Jake said. They arrived at Word, an independent bookstore
that Jake had been frequenting since he moved out to Brooklyn. Right on the
front display, there was a stack of Chris' new book, its simple, bold cover
standing out from more stylized releases. Jake had one in his apartment,
but he hadn't gotten around to reading it yet. He'd read it through when
Chris had sent him the first draft, but he didn't know exactly what, if
anything, had gotten cut and what had gotten changed. It brought a smile to
his face, even though he'd gone back to his birth name this time around and
Jake was still taken aback every time he saw it. Chris' magazine work bore
his old name, too, but a byline wasn't as bold as seeing it on the cover of
a book.

"Mom and dad have that," Ramona said. "Mom cried when she read it. Does
Uncle Chris only write sad books?"

"They're not all sad," Jake said. "But a lot of them are. He's writing
about very grown-up things."

"Is it true that he writes about you?"

"Not exactly," Jake said. "But let's find those books for you." He followed
Ramona to the back of the store, where the kids' and young adult books were
in a separate alcove.

"Do you miss him? I do."

"All the time," Jake said. "Sometimes, I wonder if we should have stayed
together and it makes me sad, but your uncle is very happy right now."

"Because he gets to go to Disneyland and the beach. He's always at the
beach."

"Yes, that's part of it," Jake said, smiling at the simplicity of it
all. If only happiness relied on Disneyland and the beach. He scanned the
shelves, finding "James and the Giant Peach" in paperback, the same edition
he remembered reading himself when he was younger. He handed it to his
niece, who clutched it to her chest. "Do you want all the 'Harry Potter'
books right now or just the first one?"

"All of them," she said confidently.

"You know, when I was reading these, I had to wait for them one by one. It
was a big deal when a new one came out. They're probably in my house back
in L.A."

He could see the excitement in her eyes, so he looked around for a box set
of the entire series. He was glad that Chris was maintaining his
relationship with Ramona, but part of him wanted to be in on the
conversations, too.

"I found them," Ramona said, showing off a boxed set.

"Perfect," Jake said. "Let's pay and get you home."

"I like when you walk me home," Ramona said. It was something Jake enjoyed,
too. A few times a week, he made the trek from his Williamsburg apartment
to Ramona's school, accompanying her on her walk back home and giving
Maggie and Peter a chance to run errands or have some time to
themselves. Sometimes they'd stop into a cafe and get a snack, sometimes
Ramona would talk about her day at school. Other times, she'd listen as
Jake talked about what was going on in the news or in his own life. If
Chris ever came up, it was because Ramona mentioned him, not Jake.

A few minutes later, they were at the house, sitting at the dining room
table as Maggie was tapping at her phone, sending her little brother money
via Venmo. Ramona was already engrossed in her book, oblivious to the world
around her. "There's a reason you can't commit to Dan," Maggie said. "Don't
lead him on. He's a good guy."

"It's been long enough, I should be ready to date again."

"We can talk about it. I know you want to."

Jake looked over at Ramona, blissfully skimming her paperback. "Not now."

"Ramona, can you read in your bedroom or the living room, please?" She
smiled and nodded, hopping off of the chair and leaving the room without
ever taking her eyes off of the pages. "There. Innocent ears are gone."

"He got married," Jake said, slumping forward, elbows on the table. "I
didn't think I would care, but it hurts."

Maggie sighed. "He's in a very good place. You need to see that he's found
someone else. He wouldn't have stayed with him this long if he didn't
really love him."

"He loved me. I love him. I thought things were okay and then when I read
that he got married, I felt angry and then I felt like a goddamn failure."

"I get that, but you need to understand that you're not a failure. You've
got a guy who's crazy for you right now. Dan can't stop gushing about your
dates."

"And you let the girls get close to Armie, too? That's rough."

"He's a part of Chris' life, so he's going to be a part of their lives, too
-- just like anyone in your life will be."

"I hate when you're so rational. Let me freak out."

"There's nothing to freak out about. It's been long enough for both of you
to move on. That's what you said you wanted."

"I was wrong. I didn't want him to move on. I thought I could and I'm
trying, but I think about him and compare Dan to everything that we went
through."

"I'm sure he did that, too," Maggie said. "He probably still does. You're
not doing yourself any favors if you keep dwelling on it. Look at
me. You've got to stop chasing something that you can't have anymore."

"We've been through this."

"And we're right back here. You're so damn stubborn."

Armie stepped into the office to find Chris at the desk, the California
sunshine beaming in through the windows as he typed away. Much to his
relief, married life didn't involve that much change for either of
them. Now, Armie was deciding between acting gigs and working on getting
some more experience directing. Chris' support had paid off. Armie's
confidence was at an all-time high and he credited everything to Chris'
urging him to branch out into more than just acting. As cliche as it might
have seemed at first, the directing bug had bitten Armie hard and he was
thinking more about telling stories than starring in them. Then, a package
arrived and Armie felt his heart sink. "My mom sent us brand-new
dishes. She's trying to make us into what she thinks a traditional family
should be."

"That'll be tough. I'm past my childbearing years," Chris said, not looking
up from his computer. He tapped a few more keys and finally met Armie's
eyes. "Your dad is amazing. Why can't she be more like him?"

"Nobody knows. It's a mystery to everyone," Armie said as he made his way
to the loveseat across from the desk.

"We still have to send her a thank-you card."

"I love her, but she's delusional. Give her time. Please. I promise she'll
come around."

"Not worried about her," Chris said.

"She imagined babies and baking and I couldn't give that to her. I tried."

Chris shut his laptop and looked over at Armie. "Don't look at it like
that. You just said she'd come around. What's going on?"

"Moms just have a way of hurting you more than anyone else. I was feeling
great and then the dishes got here and it felt like a backhanded
compliment."

"Forget it."

Armie only grunted. His relationship with his mom had been strained at best
since the divorce, but he'd forged ahead, hoping that she'd catch up. It
was taking longer than he'd anticipated. "Forget it," Chris said
again. "It's up to her, not you and not me."

"What are you working on? The play?"

"How did you convince me to write a play?"

"You're adapting it," Armie clarified. "Don't get too worked up."

"It's still something. Good thing the source material is so good."

"I'm packing a bag. Let's get out of here," Armie said as he got back
up. The emotions were getting to him. "I don't care where. Just book
something."

"I'm working."

"You can work from anywhere. I don't know why you even try that."

"You can't run away from this."

"I'm not. We're driving and you'll be a captive audience for all of my
issues."

True to form, Armie had packed two bags in no time at all. It was so fast,
in fact, that Chris wondered if Armie had them at the ready, just in
case. Before he could even think of a sarcastic remark, they were zooming
up the 5. Armie's held Chris' hand over the center console and just like he
promised, he let everything come out. He'd never fallen for anyone so fast,
he explained. He threw common sense aside and actually followed his heart
for once and this is where he ended up. He thought his friends and family
would support him, and most did, but now he was coming to the realization
that not everyone -- his mother included -- was genuine about it.

"We're not going to Santa Barbara," Chris said as Armie took their usual
route. "But get on the 101. Can't miss the beach views."

Armie gripped Chris' hand tighter, grateful that Chris was a good at
listening. Was he filing it away to use for a story? Armie didn't care. He
needed to talk and his husband was cheaper than a therapist. Maybe Dru felt
left out, Chris suggested. Maybe their unconventional courtship and
nontraditional wedding rubbed her the wrong way. It wasn't something that
"Vogue" or "Town & Country" would have featured, though Chris pointed out
that they had gotten plenty of attention afterwards. It was the wrong kind
of attention, maybe, for a Dallas doyenne.

"Take this exit," Chris said, sitting up straight in his seat. He ran his
fingertips over the back of Armie's hand and tapped on his phone. "We're
not there yet, but we can stop in a few miles."

"Where are you taking me?" Armie asked.

"You said you didn't care."

"I know you're not going to throw me off a cliff," Armie joked. "But we've
been driving for four hours. We're not going to San Francisco."

"We're in Big Sur. The Steinbeck Museum is a few miles away."

Armie raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. I always imagined this place was for
hippies."

"You've never been?"

"No," Armie said, his eyes focused on the winding highway. "Never got
around to it."

"It's Kerouac country. Steinbeck. There's lots of history here. Big trees,
big ideas, lots of stuff."

"So, you've been before"

"Lots of times," Chris said. "I finished a few books up here. It's all very
inspiring. Plus, there's barely any reception. No interruptions."

An hour later, the two of them were in the shadows of the redwoods, Armie's
eyes fixed up towards the canopy, taking in the trees, which all looked
like they touched the sky, almost blocking out all the light. The sunshine
that did make it through seemed shot with gold and green, making everything
look even more vibrant, exaggerating everything with an almost unreal
vibrancy.

"I would rent a cabin out here and just lock myself away to polish up a
novel," Chris said as they walked hand in hand down a sun-dappled path. He
held his free hand out, trying to catch a sunbeam, watching the beams of
brighter light play on his skin.

"It's beautiful," Armie said. "I've seen pictures, but this is real."

Chris got up on his tiptoes and gave Armie a kiss. "All real. It just looks
like a Disney movie."

He couldn't help but smile. Away from home, from their responsibilities and
the stresses of everyday life, Chris seemed lighter and happier, filled
with an infectious effervescence that Armie couldn't help but share. "It's
all very green," he said, genuinely fascinated with the combination of surf
spray and old growth forest. It was so different from Texas and the Cayman
Islands. It was vastly different from L.A., even though they were just a
few hours away.

"It's just a stop, though, so take it all in. We've still got more highway
to take on."

"Are you going to fall asleep?" Armie asked as his arm wrapped around
Chris' waist.

"I'll stay up," Chris said, chuckling. "I'll do my best, I mean. It's only
an hour."

"It's harder than I thought it would be," Armie said, pressing his forehead
to Chris'. "I thought she'd love you like I love you. I honestly thought
it'd be easier. We were going through everything by ourselves, I sort of
forgot about it."

"What if she never accepts it?" Chris asked, running his hand over Armie's
cheek, smoothing down the scratchy hair of his beard.

"Then I'll be grateful that she lives in Texas. Can't do anything about it
if she's not open to change."

"See? The fresh air and open space really makes you see things clearly."

Another kiss from Armie and they headed back to the car. Just like he
promised, Chris stayed awake the entire drive to Monterey. Chris pulled on
a hoodie as soon as he stepped out of the car. The cold, damp, briny ocean
air blew in as Armie grabbed their bags from the trunk. "I guess we're not
going to check out the views tonight," he said, motioning to the dark gray
clouds coming in.

"Yeah, the weather isn't cooperating, is it?"

Inside their suite, Chris held the door open as the bellhop pushed a cart
in, a full coffee service atop the white tablecloth. "Thanks," Armie said,
handing him a $20 bill and pouring out two coffees as Chris opened all the
drapes, letting the hazy, early evening light in.

"Satisfied?" Chris asked before taking a mug and settling down on the
couch.

"Definitely," Armie said, sitting close beside him. "We should get away
more."

"There's usually not a lot to get away from," Chris said, letting his head
fall to Armie's shoulder. He cupped his coffee in his hand, feeling the
warmth spread through his fingers.

"Mom's one thing. The whole foundation fundraiser is another thing. And I
know that you sold your book to Jake. You could have told me about that
right away. I don't want to get my news from 'Variety.'"

"The contract wasn't done yet," Chris said.

"C'mon. Give me more credit than that. You should have told me from the
beginning."

"I didn't know how you'd react."

"Chris, I don't know exactly how you're running your career, but you have
to know that I'll support it."

"Even if it involves my ex?"

"If there is something rational behind all of the madness, then I still
don't see it. But I'm not threatened, if that's what you're getting at."

Chris ran his hand over Armie's stomach, cuddling and getting as much
contact as possible. Armie let out a sigh, running his hand over Chris'
back. By the time they got back to Southern California, the air would be
clear in more ways than one. Contracts would be signed and, hopefully, the
play would be closer to being finished. It wasn't going to be a movie, but
a play wasn't out of the question. Armie rubbed his eyes, letting out a
yawn, even though he'd just downed his coffee in record time.

"There's a really good sushi place I know that's really close," Chris said.

"Would it be in poor taste for us to have sushi and then go to the
aquarium?"

"I won't tell if you don't."

A quick shower gave Armie life again. He'd sat still for too long and the
too-quick stop in Big Sur, while nice, didn't help much. Having such a long
frame meant that even the biggest cars seemed cramped. His Telsa may have
been well appointed, but it wasn't much different in terms of
legroom. Armie's hamstrings felt tight, even after the steamy 20 minutes in
the bathroom. They decided to skip out on the sushi, opting for ramen
instead, the warm broth warming their bodies from the inside out, steeling
them both against the damp Monterey air. It was always like this, Chris
explained. Even during the summer, nights were cool and the air was always
wet. They were, quite literally, just steps from the ocean, only there were
cliffs here, not the sandy beaches they were used to back at home. The
water was way too cold to swim in, anyway, so it was more for looks than
anything else.

"This might be the best perk I didn't know about," Armie said, resting his
chin on Chris' shoulder. His arms were wrapped around his waist as they
both watched the fish swim around behind thick glass. All it took was a
phone call, but Chris got the aquarium to let them in after hours. They had
the whole place to themselves, save a few maintenance workers and the one
administrator that stayed behind to let them in. The tanks teemed with fish
and glowed with their soft, slightly eerie blue light.

"Maybe your mom can donate a ton of money to the aquarium and we can do
this all the time," Chris said, his eyes following the various fish swim
around the rocks and coral. Armie smiled, soaking in the quiet. His life
had never been like this before. Everything was so planned out, even his
time off. The impromptu trip felt like a new experience and it was great to
see Chris enjoying himself, too.

"When I was younger, my grandparents would take me here and I'd make
stories up about the fish. Like, the clownfish would be a family and the
surgeonfish would be their long-lost relatives or something," Chris
explained. "I guess that hasn't changed much. I'm still making up
stories. They said I talked nonstop. I was weird like that."

"So, what's going on with that octopus?"

"Villain. Definitely. But in a way that he's still likable, because they're
really smart."

"And that turtle?"

"Doles out sage advice, like an older sister. This is all very unoriginal,
sorry."

Armie chuckled softly, his thumb running over Chris' fingers, grazing his
wedding band before their hands tangled together. "See how you went right
to family issues? It's the people closest to us that really know how to
stir things up."

"You married someone with very established family issues. Of course that's
what I'd go to first," Chris said.

"It's not easy, is it?"

"I wouldn't know. But I do know that it's easier with someone. And I'm
someone."

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