Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2003 13:22:06 +0000
From: Clifton Brubaker <scandalsheets@hotmail.com>
Subject: Do you remember Russell

Do you remember Russell
By Clifton Brubaker
scandalsheets@hotmail.com

This story is fiction and does not imply anything about the true sexuality
of Russell Crowe.

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a rolling stones fan, but that's
not important right now. For a long time I have only ever told close
friends what I am about to tell you, but fuck it. What ever I write here
will be passed of as another fantasy. I could tell you it's all true, every
word of it but that doesn't make any difference now does it? As soon as you
go to nifty's celebrity section you expect fantasy, but even the best
fantasy has a ring of truth to it. Russell if you read this I hope you're
not pissed off at me. But I'm a bit pissed off at you. When you said you
loved me it made me feel important, special.  But I guess that didn't
matter to you. If you read this and remember me in that special way I
remember you, my e-mail is at the top of this document. I do miss you.

The first time I met Russell Crowe was in 1998 on an evening train from
Sydney to Campbelltown. The compartment I was in was empty. Then the train
stopped at Redfern and a woman in her late forties sat 2 seats in front of
me and stunk up the place with the smell of tuna. I mean it was bad. How
she could stand to be around herself was a mystery to me. I picked up the
handle of my guitar case and got up walked up the stairs and made my way
into the next compartment, and there he was sitting on the platform level
seats. I even have to admit myself it sounded kind of hokey.

I'd seen him in a few movies I best remembered him from the movie "The Sum
of Us" where he played a gay guy living with his father. I was surprised to
see him to downplay it, but I wanted to keep my cool. I mean I didn't want
to come across as some kind of star fucker. My cool lasted all of 3
seconds. It's strange when you meet someone you've only ever seen on film
or TV it's like there a different species or operating on a different
plane. That you should watch them, not the other way around. Russell
glanced up to see who had entered and saw me, what was the first thing he
thought. I'd like to know. Was it "This kids a little porky" or "That kids
kind of cute" or.. I don't know.. There I was a kinda heavy 18 year old
with a beat-up old guitar case, and clothes that were bought from Vinnies
for five bucks.

I didn't know what to say then he said it for me.

"You play?"

"No, I keep my dialysis machine in here." Sarcasm always a good way to show
what an arse you are. But he smiled as if he very much appreciated the pun.

"Where are you heading?"

"Campbelltown, You?"

"To the end of the line and back."

I didn't get it. "What's the point of that?"

"I do my best thinking when I'm on the train."

"Oh... your nuts, I'm Cliff"

His smile broadened "You know who I am." He shook my hand. I was surprised
how easy it was to talk to him.

"Well how do you know I know who you are?"

"You haven't sat down yet."

"Well maybe I like standing."

"Fine then."

I sat down opposite him on the bench before I could blush.

His hair was long and he was unshaven. If it wasn't for the fact I knew who
he was he could have passed as a laborer on his way home, wearing blue and
white flannelette and old jeans.

"Hey, I though you were real cool in Virtuosity."

"Yeah it's always fun to be the villain."

The conversation that followed was the kind of stuff that would transpire
between any strangers talking for the first time. What do you do? Where do
you live?  What are you into? I think we became very at ease with each
other very quickly.

Then he pointed to my guitar.

"Do you mind if I have a crack with that?"

"Not at all" I said as I undid the clasps and handed him the guitar.

"So are you in a band?" Russell asked me.

"No, I just like to muck around a bit. But I do write some of my own
stuff."

"Yeah. I write my own stuff too."

"Well why don't you play me something."

"Uh... Alright this one is kind of new."

To be honest I can't remember a word of the song he sung, but I do remember
that it was beautiful. In the simple melody I could hear longing and need.
And despite the fact he was playing for an audience of one, he put his
total heart and soul into the song. When he finished I gave him a small
round of applause.

"That was really nice."

"Well I need to work on it some more."

"No, I think it's fantastic. You have a lot of talent."

Although I think he liked the praise, he was still brushing it off a
little, smiling the whole time.

"Well you've heard mine, now lets hear yours." Russell said as he passed me
the guitar.

"This is one of my older songs, it's called Taken away. Be kind"

"The floor is yours sir."

Slowly I began to play, the song was a little cryptic, but was about
unrequited love.

I remember writing it for a guy I knew who was hopelessly straight, but
whom I was madly in love with. I never got with him, and never told him of
my feelings, and one day I wrote that song for him.

I played the whole thing and to my pleasure, I didn't foul up
once. Although I never looked up at Russell's face.

"Well what's the verdict?"

"That was crap. I've never heard something that sounded so awful." His face
was hard and my heart sank. I guess he could see the anguish on my face and
a smile crept onto his lips, I knew then he was lying through his teeth.

"I am such a bastard." Russell said as his smile came through full force.

"You mother fucker. I was about to run away and cry like a bitch."

"I bet you would have to. So what was their name?"

"Whose name?"

"The person in the song that you couldn't get."

"It doesn't matter, I'm over it anyway."

"Onto bigger and better things then."

"Hopefully."

Silence. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. We both had things to say that
could have filled it, but we didn't. I studied his face. His eyes were
green. His face for some reason reminded me of a lion noble and firm; yet
deep inside those green eyes was something I had never seen before in eyes
looking at me. Tenderness.

Suddenly the train lurched as we stopped in Blacktown. The doors opened and
our moment was ruined by two drunken women.

In a previous life I guess these two were car alarms. It looked like they
had had a heavy night on the piss. Despite the way they were dressed they
were both completely graceless. Time has made me forget there names so for
the sake of flow lets call them Helen and Tiffany.

"Oh, My god!" Said the redhead (read: Bad dye job). She was in her mid
thirties and appeared to have spent the last 8 years starving herself, her
eyes has sunk into her head and skin hung from her face.

"Your Russell Crowe aren't you?"

"Yes, Hello"

"Oh you are so great, I've seen all your movies. I'm Helen and this is my
friend Tiffany."

Tiffany was I must say, a very attractive woman, early thirties and long
brown curly hair. She looked like she was part Indian and had deep intense
eyes that were looking a little glassed over.

"Hi Mr. Crowe."

"Russell is fine."

"Hi Russell" She was beet red.

"You can look." Said Helen "But you can't touch Mr. Movie star she's
getting married next week aren't you love."

Tiffany nodded.

"Oh, congratulations." Said Russell being as nice as pie.

"As for me." Said Helen "I'm more than available." She tried to give a
girly smile, but it came out all wrong.

"Well I'll keep that in mind."

The two ladies sat either side of Russell. Helen then for the first time
noticed me.

"So, who are you?" She squawked.

"This is my lover, Cliff." Russell answered for me. There were three gob
smacked people. Russell threw me a quick wink.

"Ewww, You're a fag?" Helen said.

"Not till I met him. Now I can't get enough."

I was still in a mild state of shock. Finally I found my voice.

"Yeah honey, I'm like Pringles once you pop you can't stop, now take those
cheap fake nails off my man before I bitch slap you into the next state." I
felt like a Ricky Lake guest.

Helen gave Russell a look of mild disgust "What a waste."

The train lurched to a stop as we approached Liverpool station.

"Come on Tiff, this is our stop."

"Bye Bye." Said Russell "See you in the movies."

The doors opened and the two ladies got off the train. Both of us waved as
the train pulled away from the platform. Almost on cue we both started
laughing.

Soon tears were in both our eyes and my tummy hurt from laughing.

"Oh my god, did you see her face?"

"I was trying to avoid it."

Russell put on a falsetto "What a waist, what a waist" this brought on a
new wave of laughing fits.

Russell got up reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

Sat down next to me opened the packet and took out a cigarette.

"Smoke?"

"Ok." He passed it to me and I put it in my mouth he fished around his top
pocket for a lighter and lit my smoke. I took one drag and knew right away.

"This is pot!"

Russell just smiled.

"What if a guard comes in?"

"That ok I brought enough for everyone."


I took two deep hits and passed it to Russell who in 2 breaths sucked back
nearly half the joint. The effect hit me right away and I noticed that the
fluorescent lighting hitting Russell's face made him even more beautiful
than I could remember from any of his movies.

"Fuck, this is good shit."

"This is what the celebrities smoke." Russell said as I inhaled another
hit.

"Well where can I sign up? I don't care who I have to fuck on the casting
couch."

"Roseanne." Said Russ as serious as possible.

"Come to think of it retail doesn't seem that bad." We both shared a little
laugh.

"Mind you. I bet she goes off like a fire cracker in the sack."

There was no silence then, just his lips pressed on mine. No tongue just
two lips, his eyes stayed open while he kissed me. Our heads moved back a
little and we were once again looking into each other's eyes. This time I
took the initiative and kissed him, mouth slightly open exchanging
breath. It's surprises me how my mind was so singular in its thoughts, I
wasn't thinking, "I'm kissing Russell Crowe the movie star.

Oh my god!" I was thinking of how beautiful this man in front of me
was. The world slipped away for a moment and nothing penetrated my
mind. All there was was me and him kissing, as far as I knew the world
didn't exist. He brought his hands up to my face and cradled it as he
licked where my lips parted lightly. My breath became stilted and I began
to shudder. I didn't want to do anything that would break this perfect
moment in time. At that point I realized the joint I was holding had burned
through my trousers and was burning my leg.

I pulled back threw the joint on the floor and beat the burning material
with my hands.

"Shit, drugs really do cause damage."

"Are you ok?" Russell said concerned about my welfare.

"No permanent damage."

"Good. You know you could take someone's eye out with that."

"Huh?" His eyes darted to my crotch, which I then saw was tenting rather
obviously.

I sat back down. He reached out his hand and traced down my jaw line.

"Your beautiful." He told me. It was the first time anyone had ever said
that to me.

"Please don't fuck with me."

"I wish you could know how beautiful you are." By the look he was giving me
there was no doubt in him mind that what he was saying was the truth.

He then kissed me again. I didn't want for him to look at me like I was a
little girl and tried my hardest not to let any tears escape.

"You're the one that's beautiful." I took my hand and ran it through his
hair and let it rest on the back of his neck.

The train lurched again.

"Want to go back to my place?" I said praying he would say yes. Then he
said one word.

"Yes."

The doors opened in Minto station and we got out. We didn't talk at all.

This wasn't the time for idol chitchat.

There were 2 taxies in the Taxi bay and the two of us got in be both sat in
the back with my guitar between us as we drove to my flat.

Luckily the driver had no idea who the man I was in the back with was. We
drove as we walked... in silence.

The cab ride took a little under 10 minutes. I was about to pay for the
fare when Russell pulled out his wallet and paid giving the driver a
twenty-dollar tip.

My flat was on the first floor of a block of flats. Not much there buts
it's home.

As we entered Russell kicked off his shoes and made his way to the living
room where he sat down on my second hand leather couch.  He opened up his
cigarette packet and took out another joint that he lit and drew back on
contentedly.

"How long have you been here?" It almost startled me to hear him talk again
after so much silence.

"About 3 months, not long I still have to fix some things up." He handed me
the joint.

"Try not to burn yourself this time." He said with a smile as he scanned
the living room.

I took a few small puffs of the weed and set it down in the ask tray. The
tension in the room was so think you could have cut it with a knife.

Then I thought he's here, he wants to fuck... to hell with it. And placed
my hand on his crotch.

He didn't say anything, his body relaxed and he parted his legs. I undid
his belt and popped the button, all the time thinking he was going to say
stop. I played with his cock through the denim of his pants. He was at full
mast. I couldn't wait any longer to see what I had fantasized about. I
pulled down his zipper. His cock was stretching the fabric of his green
underpants; a small point of moisture had moistened where his cock head
was.  He shifted his body weight onto his arms so I could pull down him
pants.

In one move I took off his jeans and his briefs. His cock was about 6
inches long and quite fat he was uncircumcised. And his purple head was
pocking out from the sheath.

Grooming mustn't have been a priority to him as his bush was full and his
balls were hairy. I got down on my knees between his legs and licked from
his balls, up the shaft to the tip. I looked up and I caught his gaze. I
opened my mouth and took him whole.

My mind was racing. For brief second I actually thought "Oh my god. I'm
blowing Russell Crowe in my flat." I went to town on his cock, sucking it
in deep, and then letting it slip out. I used my hand to pull back his
foreskin and used my tongue to massage the underside of his cock head. His
breathing came in satisfied mummers. I used a free hand to play with his
balls then used both hands to caress the cheeks of his arse. Once again he
lifted himself onto his arms to grant me better access to his butt. I
squeezed it and stroked it as I sucked his cock deeper into my throat. I
used my index finger to rub his asshole, and from the gyration of his hips
I could tell he enjoyed it and wanted more. I took out my right hand and
placed it on Russell's lips.

He sucked it for a moment as if it was a cock. It turned me on no end to
watch him do this.  When I pulled out my finger I rough it back to his
arsehole and newly lubricated I used it to grant myself small access inside
him. I kept up the constant fellatio as my finger probed deeper and deeper.

"Do you want to fuck me for a bit?" I was blown away by the request. I
pulled my mouth off his penis to respond.

"Ok"

I don't like my body, didn't then, don't now. I wasn't enormously fat, but
I was carrying around a bit of weight. I stayed kneeling as I pulled off my
burnt trousers.

My own 5 and a half incher was already saluting the flag. I took my wallet
form my pants and pulled out a condom and a sachet of lube. Russell
hunkered down on the couch and pulled off his flannelette shirt. Revealing
his mildly hairy chest and snail trail.

He pulled me forward and kissed me on the mouth. Letting his tongue probe
my mouth.

Then with drawing so I could taste his mouth. He tasted like peppermint and
pot. And I found it intoxicating. He reached to pull my shirt off. And I
stopped him.

I guess he could sense my insecurity and pulled me into an embrace, the he
whispered into my ear "You're beautiful." And I didn't fight him when he
tried to take off my shirt again. I felt a little exposed. But he took his
hands and played with my body and used his tongue and lips to excite it.

"I want to suck you." He said in a tone that could almost have passed for
pleading. As if I'd say no. I stood up and presented my erection to him. I
was also uncircumcised and Russell wasted no time in putting his mouth
around it. I was so turned on by the look of Russell going down on my cock;
seeing that beautiful ruggedly handsome face filled with cock I almost blew
my load. But I had to restrain myself 'cause I wanted this to last as long
as possible. He pulled me with his hand as he tongued my balls working his
way back to the area between my balls and arse. He pulled away and looked
into my eyes as he said. "Ok now, fuck me."

I grabbed the condom and ripped the package open. Russell grabbed the Dom
from me and placed it on my hard dick.

Then he slobbered on it to make it slippery.

I got back down on my knees as Russell positioned himself on the edge of
the couch.

He lifted his hairy legs so they were resting on my shoulders.

"Take it slow and easy... it's been a while."

I nodded and rubbed to tip of my cock into his entrance. With a free hand
he stroked himself.

I pushed about an inch into him and saw his face flinch a little.

"Are you alright bud?"

"Yeah, great."

"Just tell me if I'm hurting you."

"Don't worry your not hurting me." He said and smiled.

I pushed a bit more of myself into him, he moaned as the rest of my dick
slipped into him.

"Oh god." I moaned. He was so tight.

I could see in his face that I was hurting him a little. But he didn't want
me to stop.

Always being careful and slow I pulled out of him till I got to the head of
my cock then pushed it back into him. After 2 minutes of this I head him
say in a voice so quiet it could have been a whisper, "Faster."

I sped up my pace a little.

"Faster"

I started to buck my hips back and forth, he was so hot and tight I had
never felt that much pleasure before.

"Harder. Fuck me harder." I began to fuck him like an animal. Hard and deep
in, fast our, hard and deep in, fast out.

The couch began to move slowly across the floor.

"Oh god." Russell was moaning as he quickened the speed of his jerking. I
couldn't hold back any longer.

"I'm gonna blow!"

"Cum on me." Russell said.

I breathed out as I pulled out from him ripped off the condom and shot my
load over his chest. The orgasm was so intence I was seeing stars. Not the
least of which was the man that was now covered in my semen.

"I'm gonna cum soon" Russell told me, so I took his cock into my mouth and
bobbed up and down for about 30 seconds before he shot his hot cum into my
mouth. I did something then I never do. I swallowed. Then said something
I'd never said.

"I love you." And I meant it.

"I love you." Russell replied as he stroked my hair then kissed me.

Naked we sat on the couch and smoked another joint and watched some
letterman.

We fell asleep holding each other.

The next morning I blew him before breakfast and gave him my phone number
before he had to go.

Russell if your reading this you promised you'd call me, you lied. I want
to hate you but I can't I miss you too much. Cliff