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Darkness blankets the city as 50 Cent turns on his bed because he cannot sleep. As hard as he tries to rest his body, his mind is in turmoil. Seeing Lloyd Banks, Ludacris, and his son together at the album release party triggers something inside him. It is pure jealously. The way Banks was smiling and the way Marquise was playing with the southern rapper sets his mood off and he cannot concentrate on anything else. He is jealous. There is no use for him to deny it or lie to himself. The superstar rapper clutches a pillow close to his body as he gazes up at the ceiling, wondering what he is going to do and what he truly wants from his best friend. Emotions are becoming too involved and 50 finds himself more vulnerable the past few weeks than ever in his life. Everything is so raw inside him that it burns. Sleepless nights overwhelm him on a daily basis and his mind torments him during every waking moment. Relief is neither way nor nowhere in sight. The G-Unit founder sits up on his lonely bed and rubs his bare chest; his heart is beating faster than normal.
It is aching for that night. It is aching for that night again. He gets up and walks over to the beautifully lit city he has access to. Lights suck on the naked ebony skin of his chest as he peers out into Central Park and wishes his mind would be wiped from all the conquering thoughts present there. The jaded rapper contemplates going to the gym to give his mind a break but he does not want to force himself to do something he knows he does not want to do at the moment. He wants Banks. He wants his friend back. 50 Cent thinks of Olivia; everything in their relationship is going fine because he is lying to himself. She does not suspect a thing and he suddenly feels so guilty because his girl does not deserve to be treated like that. He does not love her the way he should though. The G-Unit rapper's eyes follow oblivious cars many floors below him while he greatly tries not to be broken inside. It is so fragile within 50 at the moment though that there is no possibility that he can be whole. Frustration, anger, hurt, and overpowering anxiety stabs him.
The next few days are spent in the recording studio with Young Buck because, once again, he is put in charge of the other G-Unit member's album. This serves as a positive though because if he can keep his mind busy enough with work, all the other thoughts will not have lives of their own or be able to keep him awake at night. 50 and Buck work into the early hours of the morning on several occasions but the record is still not close to being complete. Olivia is on a total of three tracks and the rappers decide to go with twenty songs to put on it. The top twenty songs. It is around eleven on a Saturday night and they are working nonstop to produce at least two more songs. It is a more than realistic goal 50 Cent thinks and it will get done. They finally wrap the session at twelve, having completed three more songs to the twelve already laced down. The duo hug before parting ways; the buff rapper heads off to his suite to rest his mind. All the lights are off when he enters but few candles offer light. He turns the light on and looks around the room.
"Hi Curtis," Olivia makes herself know in his room by coming out and greeting him. She is in a black lace see-through negligee with matching bra and panties on underneath.
"What's going on?" 50 asks, surprised. He cannot stop staring because she looks so good.
"Just thought I'd do something for my overworked and stressed out man."
"I like that thought," he slowly admits as he drops his hat on a nearby chair and walks up to her before taking her lips in his. Why won't he allow things to be this simple for him?
"Yea well, I know you've been so busy and all. It's about time someone do something to help relax you."
"Will that come later?" the rapper asks as he grins.
"Yes. But after the dinner I made you."
"You made me dinner?"
She flicks the light back off and the candles come back to life as she helps her strong man out of his jacket and holds his hand tightly as they walk into the dining room. Olivia's dinner consists of spaghetti and meatballs that look irresistible, a small salad, and a dark red wine. 50 winces as she massages his shoulders temporarily before taking her seat across from him in the lowly lit dining room; two brave candles are the only source of light. She begins serving him as he looks at her, extremely appreciative that someone thought so much of him to do this. The ebony rapper does feel special. The food tastes magnificent and he eats everything and drinks two gasses of wine to help calm and relax him. He really wants to enjoy this evening without any mind games. It is a promise that will have unknown results to him however. 50 Cent gets up and walks over to his girlfriend, takes her hand, and kisses her when she gets up. The dinner is excellent. The surprise is excellent. Just the thing he needs to forget everything else. Even if the results are momentary.
"Thank you baby girl," he says earnestly as he leads them to the sofa in the dark room. They sit together and begin to cuddle.
"I know you needed it."
"I really appreciate it."
"You're a good man Curtis. Regardless. I wish everyone could see who I see."
"No. No. I only show this side to people I care about," he informs her. "I'm fine with the media's image of me."
"So what's been bothering you then baby? Tell me so I can help you. You've been out of it ever since Chris' party. Even before that."
Lloyd Banks' image is inside his head again. They will never stop. Ever. "Nothing. Nothing. I'm good. Everything's good."
She smiles sadly while looking away. "You're a beautiful liar."
"It's the truth. Really."
"I just don't want to see you like this. I'm worried about you," Olivia places her hand on his chin and guides his eyes to hers. "I want you to be happy."
"I am happy. Now that you're here with me."
"Are you sure?"
"How is Marquise?"
Another series of nails pierce into his flesh. "I dunno. I mean he tells me he's good but I know he's lying. And---"
"You don't want to pressure him?"
"Yea but don't I have a right to know? I am his father."
"Maybe he's scared to tell you because he knows it'll hurt you," the first lady of G-Unit tries to reason with her boyfriend.
"I've always told him that he can tell me anything. I want him to. He's my heart. I don't know how to feel knowing that he can't come and talk to me." 50 Cent breaks. His son manages to break him inside once again.
"Just give him time honey. He'll talk to you when he's ready."
"I want him to talk to me right now."
"Getting upset or pressuring him won't solve anything though."
"I can't be upset at him. That little boy has so much control over me."
"You're a good father. He'll come around eventually."
"Maybe," the tired rapper gets up and walks over to the balcony. Frost is on the sliding door because outside is chilly. He stares into the black oblivion; it sucks him in for temporary relief.
"Everything okay with G-Unit? David? Chris?" she asks as she gets up and follows him. She hugs him from behind in hopes that it will relieve the rapper somehow.
"Yea. Everything's good. Buck and I are almost done with his album now."
"And Chris?" she probes. It is somehow different between them.
"What about him?"
"You two okay?"
"Why wouldn't we be?"
"Just asking. You gotta let some stuff go baby. You're holding on to too much and it's killing you."
The ebony rapper's skin glistens in the light. He sighs. "I know. It's just so hard."
"Come with me. Let's go to bed. I want you to touch me."
She holds on tightly to her rapper boyfriend's hand as he follows her into his room. The sex will make him forget it all. That will be its purpose. Olivia carefully guides him to sit on the edge of the bed as she stands in between his legs; she picks both his hands up and rest one on her waist while placing the other one on her stomach. Their eyes are trapped in each others' as she slowly takes off the outer piece of her ensemble and tosses it on the floor. 50 Cent's fingertips rub pure, smooth skin as he closes his eyes and takes it all in. They trace over every curve of his girlfriend's thighs and flat stomach as he begins to get aroused. The first lady of G-Unit guides one of the buff rapper's hands up to her breasts; he sensually fondles them and she shudders because he knows how to touch her. No one can ever see this gentle side of him. They are not worthy. She tenderly takes 50's hands off her body and pushes him back on the bed before crawling on top of him and meeting his lips at the end of her pilgrimage. Is this what he wants or what he thinks he wants?
The skilled rapper wastes no time grabbing his girlfriend's slim body and running his hands up and down the already explored territory. He starts to unhook the mesmerizing black bra while her hands find their way under his shirt and begins to pull it up over his head. The shirt and bra are tossed on the floor while their tongues continue to swap hits against each other. It is erotic and pure bliss and the medicine he needs. 50 Cent fiddles with the buckle of his belt and when it finally breaks, he wiggles his body out of the pair of pants. Their bodies press together, hot flesh on hot flesh, as their night begins. As their emotions are lost to them. As floods of passion crashes and ripples through their needing bodies. Olivia pulls the last article of clothing away from her lover's body and his already hard dick springs to life under her. It is excited and wants to be released into heaven. 50's index fingers tangle into the fabric of his girlfriend's panties and slowly remove them from her now naked body. It too is tossed away without another thought. It's right.
Although it is new to him, 50 Cent loves being dominated by Olivia so he lets her stay on top of him and do most of the work; he is enjoying it. The feeling of her strong kisses and her hands tracing all over his body and the intensity present within her eyes takes him into their world. A world he knows all too well. Fingers run through hair and gentle touch and caress quivering skin as their soft lips remain connected and only break when the first female of G-Unit bites his bottom lip. She pulls away and looks at him; it is all part of her game. She preys on the vulnerability she finds in her boyfriend's eyes and kisses his blood-stained lips one quick time before trailing her unimaginably dreamy lips down to his jaw and neck. The buff rapper's skin is so soft; she is in awe of it and him. It is love. It could not be anything less. 50's susceptible neck yields to his lover's aggressiveness and he closes his eyes and just lets her take control of his body. He just sits back and enjoys the ride. Kisses spill everywhere on his toned chest and abs. It manages to keep him sane.
A wet kiss connects with the very tip of his neglected dick before she sucks hard on it, trying to solicit moans from her man. Olivia has trained her throat to accept his dick and she begins to deep-throat the monster. It is still a challenge but it goes down her mouth with greater ease than ever before. She can almost take all of 50 Cent in. Her teeth scratch against the skin of his shaft and he tries to grab anything within range because it feels so damn good. His dick going down so far down her throat is an extremely pleasurable sensation as the superstar rapper continues to grasp for things that are just not there. His girlfriend's tongue flickers out and teases the sensitive, uncircumcised head unmercifully as their own little game of bliss escalates into something so much more. The newest member of G-Unit continues to orally please her boyfriend while running her hands across his balls numerous times. It almost feels too unreal. 50 laughs when she starts kissing his inner thighs because it tickles. Her lips and tongue leaves no spot untouched.
"That tickles," he responds in a slight laughter as his body jolts. "Come here."
"My pleasure," Olivia replies and after licking inside his muscular thighs and the very tip of his rock hard rod one more time, she complies. Their lips crush together.
"Stay on top of me baby. Make me feel good," 50 softly says. "Make me yours."
"You want to be mine?"
"Yes. Yes. You know what to do to get me."
"And don't forget it," she smoothly tells her man as their lips find each others' again.
While they are still kissing, Olivia grabs his dick and begins to stroke it at a steady pace before the real fun can begin. Two tongues intertwine and mate sweetly while she positions her body and gets ready for the ride of her life. 50 Cent is oblivious to this because he is too caught up in the kiss to notice anything else. His dark brown nipples are erect and his hands play with his lover's breasts as they still taste each other. Slowly, she grabs the base of her man's long pole and positions it straight up as she begins to lower herself onto it. The friction of sensitive skin caressing against sensitive skin is an added turn on to both as the ebony rapper finally starts to realize what his happening. She is plowing his dick into her and it feels so damn good. She moans and slightly winces when he thrusts himself up into her because he cannot wait. The teasing and torturing is chipping away at his sanity. The newest G-Unit member shoots him a look but his innocent eyes makes her forgive him on the spot. She resumes lowering herself on him. It is a warm, tight fit.
"How does that feel?" she whispers into his ear.
"Control me! Don't hold anything back!" the buff rapper growls.
"Thrust in me. Make me want you more than I already do baby."
50 Cent does not listen and lets her do all the work. Her body moves up and down on top of his as his dick goes into and out of her opening vagina. The warmness inside her is addicting to him; it always teases his rod and pushes him off that cliff. His lover continues to do all the work, thrusting her man's dick deep inside her and then withdrawing it completely before doing it all over again. Olivia's hands are pressed into the bed on either side of her boyfriend's body for the support she needs to keep herself propped up and going. The G-Unit rapper bites his bottom lip so hard that he tastes blood once again as she continues to work him. Every part of him. Everything becomes more intense when he takes the initiative and begins swaying his hips up and down, plowing her at his speed. She leans over and starts kissing his neck in frenzy while his pulsating member opens her up even more. 50 kisses her hand as it caresses and then cups his face and then rub her nipples. Her breasts are jiggling frantically because of their actions and he cups them in his hands.
In a precise moment of time, their bodies become one because Olivia begins to see little spots of bright lights in front of her eyes. Her spot is touched and she can barely contain herself. 50 Cent mimics his previous thrust and when her spot is assaulted once again, she loses it. He continues to force entry into her as she bites his neck hard; she has no idea what she is doing because she is lost in the passion. He jumps at the pain and his dick goes into her all the way and punctures her soft spot and she bites him even harder in almost the same spot. Blood trickles down but is caught on her lips as she continues to bite and nibble on him. The first lady of G-Unit licks the wounds and steals her man's lips in a kiss while she feels herself coming to an orgasm. The experience temporarily blinds her and her body goes into overdrive mode to cope with it all. He brings her to another orgasm almost right away and when she begins to moan loudly and kiss him everywhere she has access to, his dick releases itself deep within her. The thrusts slow down gravely.
She is still on top of him and feels his dick softening inside her. 50 Cent's mind is a blurry mess as he tries to pick up the pieces. His neck burns. His softening dick feels warm. His heart is palpating. After everything is processed in their brains and the natural high begins to dissipate, Olivia crawls off her boyfriend's body and lies next to him; his eyes are closed and his breathing is shallow. He is so adorable and cute and sexy. He's an angel. Her angel. She stares at him and suddenly wants to tell him so much. All the things she could never say to another living soul. All the things she could never say to herself. The strong rapper grunts slowly and does not bother to open his eyes again because he cannot. Sleep grabs his ravaged and abused body into its clutches and there is no fighting it. A nearby clock displays the number four as the first female of G-Unit barely notices it. She is too caught up in 50 to care about the time. It is hard to imagine the hardcore rapper everyone else knows and the sweetest angel she knows as one in the same. It is an enigma.
Olivia's eyes trace every contour of her boyfriend's sleeping body. The steady rise and fall of his powerful chest keep her in a trance. "I love you," she proclaims more to herself than to him. A simple kiss brushes against 50's lips.
The bright and alluring lights of Las Vegas catches Lloyd Banks in its grasp as he is driving through the city to an appearance he is already late for. He cannot remember the last time he visited the magical city. It feels like he has been working so much and so hard that he rarely has time to slow down and enjoy whatever city he is in. The album sticking to the number one spot for the second week in a row does feel great though. The only time the younger rapper feels like he is slowing down and truly enjoying life is when he is around Ludacris. The things the southern rapper says and the way he makes him feel is something the G-Unit rapper feels he will never understand. Maybe it is not meant to be understood; it is just meant to feel so damn special. The party only manages to hold his interest for a short time and once his publicist reluctantly agrees to let him go, a limo pulls up and takes him back to the hotel. She is mad at him but she will get over it because he is tired and needs that elusive alone time. Time alone to take in life and enjoy it for what it is.
He wants to call his man to see what part of the world he is in but a shower beckons to him first. It is time away from the industry, the music, the parties, everything. Banks is finding it extremely hard to let go of the industry sometimes but if he does not, he knows that he will burn himself out trying to do it all every single day. While in the shower, 50 Cent runs on his mind. Then Marquise and how he and Ludacris were getting along the night of his big album release party. He seems to be good with children. It is such a turn on. He wants to call his best friend though. Just to see how he is and hopefully slice all the tension between them once and for all. Warm water soothes the G-Unit member's stained skin as he cleans himself with a bar of soap; it touches him almost as intimately as the southern rapper would. After dinner and calling his publicist to convince her not to stay upset with him, Banks turns off all the lights to his hotel suite and drops onto the comfortable bed and flicks on the lamp next to him. He gets his phone and dials a number he knows well.
It rings three times before someone picks up. "Yea?" 50 Cent's voice sounds. "What up Banks man?"
"Chillin' Fifty. What's good with ya?"
"We at this party chillin'."
"We? Who you with? Buck?" Lloyd Banks is curious to know.
"Naw, Olivia. We just hangin' out. She says hi. Where you at? NY?"
"Las Vegas. Had some promo shit to do out here." Why are he and Olivia together?
"It's working kid. I hear you sittin' at number one again."
"Sittin' high at number one baby."
"You good then."
"Couldn't have happened without you C."
"I helped a little. Yo talent is what got you at the top right now."
"Thanks," the younger rapper hears himself softly say. He is pretty sure that he is blushing at the compliment.
His voice sounds so sexy. It is torture. "How's the squirt?"
"He's good. I'm gonna catch up with him tomorrow."
"You think he had fun at the party?"
The buff rapper doesn't know which way to go with that question. There is no use in lying though. "He couldn't stop talking about it."
"Let me ask you---"
"Why'd you take him home so early? I know you said it was late and his mom was gonna trip and shit but he was having fun. You guys left so early."
There is a long silence. "I didn't want to deal with his mom."
"Is that it?" Banks continues to question. He needs the answer to this.
"Yea. What you gettin' at kid?"
"I don't believe you."
"It is what it is."
"You didn't want him around Ludacris did you?"
He leaves Olivia's side and steps outside the club into a dark alley. "Why was he even there in the first place?"
"He's my homie. Just wanted to introduce one of my best friends to one of my new friends."
"Since when are you two homies?" He is almost positive that his jealously is showing in his compromising tone.
"Why you actin' like this for Curtis?"
"Actin' like what? I just asked a question."
"I can't have friends beside you, Buck, Dré , and Em?"
"You can do whatever the hell you want Banks. You a grown man," the superstar rapper tries to state in an unresponsive tone. He cannot because he does care about Lloyd Banks. His curiosity is killing him. They cannot be together. No way.
"So what's up with the third degree?"
"I don't get you nigga," The G-Unit rapper says in a frustrated voice. "One minute you cool and the next I dunno---"
"What you want me to say?"
"Why you actin' this way? Something happen?"
"Fuck it. Shit doesn't matter anymore. Never did."
"Guess so," Banks spits back. He really does not care right now. "Guess this was a mistake like everything else huh?"
"Yep. You makin' a whole lot of mistakes man," the buff rapper plays the game he finds himself in.
The comment is vindictive and mean but Lloyd Banks takes it in stride. "I'm out kid. Later."
"See ya when I see ya."
Lloyd Banks throws his phone down on the bed next to him and rubs the now tense muscles of his shoulders. Talking to 50 always does this to him and he is sick of it. His feelings for the man need to disappear because they do nothing but get in his way. He places each index finger on his temples and rubs it gently because he feels a headache coming on. They are always fighting now; everything starts off innocent but things are said and questions are asked that throws both men off their game and have them going after each other. It all does not seem worth it anymore. The G-Unit rapper closes his eyes and immediately sees himself alone; the cycle will never stop. In the darkness of his mind, he sees himself alone with nothing around him. Everything is blank; a clean slate and it scares him. Banks opens his eyes and comes back to reality with the wish that he had never met 50 Cent. It is harsh but his best friend hurts him so much that he does not care. No one is looking out for him, not even himself and it is frightening. It is lonely.
The hurt rapper sees his phone glowing at the edge of the bed and reaches over to it. He clears his throat. "Hey."
"What's going on baby boy?" Ludacris' strong southern accent fills the phone.
"At the hotel. `Bout to go to sleep."
"You aight? You sound mad."
"I fucking hate Fifty Cent right about now. Fucking cocky bastard!"
"What happened? What you two fight about now?"
"I dunno. Fuck him! I'm so damn tired of his shit. One minute we're close then the next he says fucked up shit to me," Banks rants.
"Close? What's going on baby?"
"Fuck it! I don't care about the shit anymore."
"Chris! Calm down and talk to me. What did he say?"
"Don't worry `bout that selfish nigga. What's good with you baby?" he changes the topic completely and tries his best to relax.
"I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about you Chris. This shit isn't healthy."
"I can't exactly avoid him kid. We fuckin' work together. He's my boss."
"That nigga ain't shit to you! Just a damn control freak that always has to know what you doing."
"Fuck. Don't say shit like that about him. No matter what, he's me best friend. He believed in me when no one else did Bri."
The DTP rapper sighs before saying, "I hate the shit he puttin' you through."
"I ain't exactly innocent in all of this either. I dunno."
"Why you picking up for him for?"
"Because I'm to blame too. Not just him."
"Fuck Fifty! That nigga's a lil' insecure bitch that think he know shit when he don't."
"Stop. Don't talk shit like that---"
"You still ain't over him yet?"
Lloyd Banks is taken aback by this and does not know how to respond. He sees it as condescending and a malicious attack on his feelings. "That shit's fucked up!"
"Why? It's either you are or you not right? Which one is it?"
"I'm not gonna answer that. The person I thought I knew wouldn't say shit like that to me."
How does his anger towards 50 Cent turn into them getting into a fight? The southern rapper is confused but angry at the whole situation in general. "I hate being second best to anyone."
"I told you how I felt from the beginning. I'm trying to work through it. You know that. Why you fighting with me?"
"Because I have feelings too Chris. And you screw them over whenever it comes to him."
"That how you feel?"
"Why would I say it if I didn't? I don't think this shit is gonna work."
The G-Unit rapper stays still. He does not even know if he can breathe or not. "What?" he asks completely lost now. This is not happening.
"It's too complicated. He means more to you. I get it."
He gets mad. "What about all that shit you said? You just gonna take it back now? I thought you said you liked me?"
"I do! A lot! But I can't compete with your fucking perfect image of Fifty Chris. And I'm getting tired of trying. It's either me or him and you chose."
"I chose someone who doesn't want me?"
Ludacris comes to the painful realization that he has been trying to avoid ever since he found out the two G-Unit rappers were intimate with one another. "So I am your second choice then? I can't do that. Not anymore. I thought I could handle it for you but I guess I couldn't," he recites in an obviously hurt and saddened voice.
"Just forget it! You right. It wasn't gonna work anyway."
"Right. Got nothing left to say then."
"That how you want it?"
"Whatever you want," the southern rapper comes back quickly. He keeps telling himself to be ice and keep cold because he cannot afford to be doubtful right now.
"Yea I'm straight. See ya around kid."
"Whatever you say."
Lloyd Banks' head is spinning as he clicks his phone and stares at it in the dim light of the table lamp on his nightstand. The night takes another turn for the worse and his anger gets the best of him. He throws his phone and doesn't even bother to look when he hears it crashing into the wall and breaking apart into pieces. His emotions cannot control themselves and he is hurt, angry, tired, and everything else. How much longer can he go on like this? It is all so overwhelming and stressful. The G-Unit rapper turns off the illuminating light next to him and stares at nothing in the dark as everything truly starts to sink into him. Everything is no more. He is no longer on top of the world. The album sales don't mean anything. The music videos are insignificant. The many business meetings cannot even begin to make him happy. Banks tears off his tank top and pulls off his pants and boxers and throws them all in the general direction of the now shards of his former cell phone. He sniffles but does not cry because tough rappers do not cry. He is strong.
Last night was rough on him. The clouds form together and throws water at the unaware city as the stressed out rapper is getting the rest his body needs. How could he have fought with both 50 Cent and Ludacris on the same night? It cannot be possible nor is it logical. He slightly turns in his bed and a pillow loses its balance and falls to the floor. Rain downpours from the skies and most begin their wet day of hard work. The southern rapper is starting to get under Banks' skin; a place he isn't sure he wants him to be because he is scared of what he could truly start feeling because of this man. He is scared about abandoning his feelings for his fellow G-Unit member. Everything new and uncharted is unwelcome and despised because it is not understood. It cannot be this way. Lloyd Banks manages to push away both the men that mean something to him in the span of only one night. All because of his selfish, childish attitude. How can he face 50 again? What words can he say to the DTP rapper to get him back? His wounds know no threshold for pain.
Fixing things with 50 Cent will be easier because they work together. Both men will put aside their differences for the good of the group, and this way, they ease back into how things used to be between them. It has always happened this way before. Dealing with the Atlanta rapper will prove to be a more difficult task however. Banks understands where he is coming from in the things he says because it is true. He is second best to the ebony rapper. As much as he does not want it to be this way, it cannot be helped but he does have real feelings for Ludacris. He feels them inside. The next few days are excruciatingly tough on the G-Unit member as he tries to go on with normal life, whatever that may be he does not know. Everything is still fresh in his mind and he can still feel it on his skin. He stands alone in the world. It is still raining in Las Vegas as Lloyd Banks looks outside and tries to make sense of his life. He sabotages everything he has going for him; it is unintentional but still real and unbearably painful. His body is numb.
The only way to avoid it all is to submerge himself in work. His publicist is happy with the new change and schedules many appearances and parties and shows to do in order to get himself out there and to not just be known as a part of 50 Cent's G-Unit group. After a while, it all becomes the same. The same party with the same faces but Banks does not complain because it is helping him get over his feelings for Ludacris and his once best friend. It is welcomed and greatly appreciated. There are no more outlets because he is sure that he has been to every club and done every radio show in the Las Vegas area. Six o'clock hovers over the horizon on a Friday night as the worn out rapper finds his way back to his suite; he has not spoken to either man since their falling out over the phone. A shower gets the best of him and dinner revitalizes him but the energy will not be spent. Lloyd Banks has a party to attend later but it will not happen. It is enough. He has been thinking about it for a while now and finally gathers the courage for it. He needs to talk to him badly.
The rapper finds his phone and recalls a number that was given to him not too long ago. He saves it before dialing. "Hello?" a woman asks after two rings.
"Hi. It's Chris," Lloyd Banks says uncertainly. He is not sure if Marquise's mother remembers him.
"Chris? Chris. Hi Chris. How are you?" she asks sincerely.
"I'm doing good. What about you?"
"Busy trying to do everything. You should know how that goes."
"Oh yea. A little too well," he trails off.
"So why are you calling?"
"I would like to talk to Marquise. If that's okay with you?"
"Of course it is Chris. He can't stop talking about your party," she positively says. "Let me get him."
"Hello?" Marquise's small voice asks.
"What up squirt?"
"Chris! Hi Chris! How is one of my best friends?"
The G-Unit rapper smiles. "Good. And how's my best friend?"
"I'm good. I went to school today and then had to go to the doctor's after."
"I had to get two shots."
"Ouch! Shots hurt. I hated getting them."
"They only a little you big baby!" the six-year-old teases him.
"Hey! I'm gonna tell your mom on you."
"She already knows that you're a baby."
"Okay fine! Whenever I have another party I guess someone won't be coming---" he fires back to defend himself.
"Okay okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry," he laughs. It is something the young rapper wants to hear.
"Yea. You better watch yourself squirt."
"I'll be good."
"Good boy. So did you like the party?" Lloyd Banks asks. He has to be sure.
"Yep! I had so much fun."
"What did you like?"
"Hanging out with daddy and you and Olivia." He remembers all their names extremely well. "Oh and Ludacris. I saw him on TV a few days ago."
The G-Unit rapper takes a breath. The three of them hanging out that night comes back to him hard. Everything was so right. "Really? What was he doing?"
"Just talking. He had on a really nice shirt."
"Really? What color was it?"
"Blue. I like blue."
"I do too."
"What happened?" the boy questions.
"No nothing buddy. I'm just tired."
"You and my dad need to take a vacation."
"Wish it was that easy. Gotta keep working squirt. How's your dad?" he gives in to his feelings and asks.
"Um, good. He called me yesterday before he left."
"Yea. He went somewhere far but I forgot. You haven't talked to him?"
"Been too been too busy kiddo. Remember what we were talking about at the party?"
"No. What?" Marquise asks. He does not remember.
"About your dad. You remember now?"
There is a long silence. "Yea. I remember."
"You still feel that way?"
"Yes. I know something's bothering him."
"Yep but he keeps saying everything is good so I just stop. He's been different the last few days."
"Different? How?" the younger rapper continues to dig. He does feel guilty but he has to know where 50 Cent stands.
"I dunno. He doesn't smile a lot. We were hanging out and he didn't smile or laugh or anything. I got mad because something is making him mad."
Now he really feels guilty. "Sorry buddy. I dunno what to say."
"It's okay I guess. He's not talking to you either?"
"Yea---" he starts to trail off and lie. He doesn't want to hurt Marquise.
"Did he tell you what's wrong with him?"
"No buddy. But remember what I told you? He'll talk when he's ready."
"Yea. I don't wanna see him sad."
"I know. So when are we gonna hang out again?" Banks changes the topic completely. He selfish desires are clouding his judgment.
"I dunno. I wanna though. I like hanging out with you."
"Really? I like hanging out with you lil' man. You my best friend after all."
"I'll try okay squirt?"
"I know it's late over there so I'm gonna let you go buddy."
"Okay Chris. Talk to my daddy. Maybe he'll talk to you."
His insides crunch up. It is an impossible task. "I'll try okay?"
"Okay. Bye Chris."
Hearing Marquise's voice numbs some of the pain for him because there is at least one person he can still trust, even if he is only six years old. The rain is finally letting up for the night as the young rapper relaxes on his bed and turns on the TV. After flipping through the channels, his fingers stop and the remote falls on the bed. The television shows him, and 50 Cent. It is an interview they did together, before everything happened between them. It was so relaxed and natural back then. They are laughing and joking around with each other as Lloyd Banks watches it attentively, watching their body movements and his best friend's lips move as he talks. It is sensual. His smile is so sexy and smooth. When it is over, the G-Unit member's trance is broken and reality sets back in. It never should have gotten to this point. The pair truly was best friends once. The night is still young so Banks calls and informs his publicist that he will be attending the party after all. He cannot stay home; his mind wants to be occupied and he needs a drink. It will do him good.
After dressing himself in a blue t-shirt, shorts, and a pair of white Air Force Ones, the rapper finds a light blue du-rag and a white hat to place on top of his head. His ride in on the way and he finds an appropriate cologne to smell like. A drink sounds so good right about now. Maybe it will drown out all the guilty thoughts his mind is making him feel. Will he ever be able to get 50 Cent out from under his skin? Seeing the interview does bring back so many good memories he and the buff rapper once shared. Lloyd Banks seals it all away because he does not want it to override him and grabs his wallet and brand new cell phone and puts them in their respective places before turning off the lights and leaving the room. Where did 50 go? How far? Things really are different between them. The G-Unit rapper gets into the SUV and informs the driver of their destination and relaxes on the ride there. His body is yearning for that drink and he figures that the getting out will do him some good after the unexpected trip down memory lane. The fresh air is nice.