Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2003 16:51:42 EST
From: Noburu@aol.com
Subject: IS THIS OUR YOUTH chapter 5

Disclaimer: This story is a work of pure fiction and is not intended to
imply that Hayden Christensen is gay.

If it is illegal for you to be reading this story in your city, state or
country, or you are offended by homosexual activity, then leave now.

The story's time frame is about March/April 2002, the time when Hayden was
in the west-end starring in "This is Our Youth". Remember, this is fiction,
nothing more.

Constructive feedback, good or bad, is much appreciated. I am a novice
writer, so I need to hear this shit.

I had a continuity error in the last two chapters. Try and spot it. Go on,
it'll be fun (though it will probably be obvious after reading this
chapter.)

IS THIS OUR YOUTH?

Chapter 5

The ride on the bus to Joe's place was mostly quiet, but not awkward; at
least it didn't feel that way for Hayden, who had just become fully
acquainted with these people just a few hours ago. He related to the idea
of being so comfortable with your friends that you didn't have to engage in
conversation all the time.

Looking at how Tom and Kelly were sitting next to each other, Hayden
wondered on the intricacies of their own relationship. They were both
deeply connected to Joe, but they seemed to have their own separate
bond. Kelly had her head resting on Tom's shoulder, while Tom had his left
arm around her. Hayden made a mental note not to ask Joe about Tom and
Kelly's relationship. He had too much respect for them.

Hayden also noticed that Alex seemed to be lost in his own world. He was
sitting across from him and Joe, with his back on the wall and his feet on
the seat. Although he was looking in Joe's direction, to Hayden it seemed
more like he was looking into empty air. There were also times when Alex
would just stare at the phone in his hand, as though trying to make it
ring.

Walking into Joe's home, a flurry of words came into Hayden's mind; small,
cosy, welcoming, warm. He wondered how Joe's parents managed to raise three
lads in such a tiny house, and keep it in such a beautiful state. The
hallway seemed tiny with the five of them just standing about.

"Coffee, anyone?" offered Joe. With that, Kelly and Tom just walked into
the kitchen to get the stuff ready. Joe followed, motioning for Alex and
Hayden to sit at the table.

It was amazing to watch the three of them work in unison to make five cops
of coffee in a very short amount of time. Joe explained that his family
prefers to use a percolator and freshly grounded beans when it came to
making coffee, and not that instant crap. `Nothing but the best for guests'
was his mother's motto.

"It's like living in a cafe," commented Hayden.

"You haven't seen anything yet. These three go all out!" replied Alex,
heavily anticipating the aroma that awaits them.

"Hey! We're not coffee fiends, Alex! We're really not!" barked Kelly, her
eyes blazing as she frothed some milk.

Alex and Hayden exploded with laughter. It looked like she really needed
her fix. What was even funnier was that she didn't even react to their
reaction, but just continued to froth. Tom and Joe didn't notice the
commotion. They were too busy in their own activities. After adding a
second percolator to the stove, Joe turned around to see Alex and Hayden
exhausted.

"What's going on?" asked Joe, now turning to face Kelly. "Have you been
doing the `Stepford Wife' thing again? Please don't! It freaks me out."

"I don't know what you're talking about, dear. I don't even know where
Stepford is," replied Kelly, with a creepy, distorted grin. That was enough
to get Hayden and Alex going again.


#


The conversations went on through most of the night, over six rounds of
coffee. Kelly and Alex were fascinated by Hayden's story of how he
auditioned for "George", and what it was like to film in locations such as
Sydney and Tunisia. They were also keen to find out what it feels like to
perform on stage; both Kelly and Alex were keen drama students in their
respective high schools, and both still entertain the idea of taking up the
art as their profession.

"It's quite draining to put yourself in a character for two-and-a-half
hours straight. But I find it very natural to project myself as something
different. Most actors define themselves through the characters they play,
and so in a way its like finding myself."

"But how does Jake and Anna feel but the "process"; you must of asked them
about their opinions on the subject, right?" asked Kelly, not realising
that she was referring to them in the familiar.

"Actually, I haven't talked to them on that particular subject. It's more
like `so how's your boyfriend, Anna?' or `your fly's undone, Jake!"

Something less important clicked in Joe's brain. "Oh yeah, I thought that
Jake was ill. Earlier today, you said that you had to rehearse with his
understudy."

"He came in just as we were going on stage. He said he didn't want to let
down the group due to a little cold. Personally, I thought that his runny
nose and slurred words actually improved on his performance."

Tom's straightened to attention. "Do I sense a little rivalry between the
two male leads?"

 "No...not at all. I simply mean that it added to the effect of his
character. Jake's a very competent actor, and I respect him for that."

Alex leaned back on his chair. "Sounds like a very automated response to
me!" This was Alex's way of saying that he thought Hayden was full of shit.

Hayden just let that last comment slide of his back. He really didn't want
to get into a heated argument, especially with someone who kept
interrupting his concentration on stage. Joe buried his head in his folded
arms, wishing that Alex had kept his mouth shut. The five of them stayed
silent for at least a minute. It felt like ten.

Kelly and Tom suddenly started to get out of their chairs. "Right, I think
it's time for us to go to bed."

"Where do you think your going?" questioned Joe, becoming suspicious of
their motives.

"To mike's room, where you usually put us," replied Kelly.

"Oh, no you don't! Kelly, your sleeping in my folk's room. Tom, you're on
the couch, with Alex. These are my rules for tonight. I will not have a
repeat performance of what happened last time."

Tom and Kelly didn't argue, and decided to take their seats back at the
table.

"Wait, they're staying here?" Hayden was more curious than annoyed. He
wanted to get some time alone with Joe, but he understood that Joe's
loyalties would be to his oldest friends.

"You all are," replied Joe, turning his attention to Hayden. "It's one of
our routines. If we end up here after staying out, and it's late, then they
stay over. Alex lives in a really rough neighbourhood..."

"People get mugged as soon as they get off the bus," interrupted
Alex. "That's what happened to Lucas...and it was five o'clock in the
evening."

"...It's far too late for Kelly to go home now; she lives on the far side
of London, and Tom practically lives here anyway."

"That's true," Tom added.

Joe continued to focus on Hayden. "I can call a cab for you if you want,
but I would like you to stay. Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"No, I'm not. The theatre's closed, so I am free."

"Then it's decided. You're spending the day with me."


#


It took a while to get everyone settled. Kelly was no trouble; she helped
Joe to change the sheets in his parent's bedroom, and conked out on the bed
as soon they were finished. Alex and Tom were a pain, as Tom was very
resistant to the idea of sharing the couch. He didn't mind sharing with
another guy, but he was very opposed to the idea of sharing with
Alex. Apparently, they had been forced to share a bed before while staying
at Aidan's place. Tom claimed that Alex snores like the sirens of a fire
truck. He demanded that Alex sleep in the kitchen. All Alex could do was
make jokes about how he's been wanting to get Tom into bed for years. Joe
laughed at the joke, but the image of his best friend and past lust object
was too much. Simply Alex just being under the same roof as Joe was already
more than he can take.

After all that, Joe retreated to his room, where Hayden was waiting. He had
stowed him there while he tended to his friends. Hayden had a good look
around while he was left alone. The room reflected the house; small, yet
cosy, and just enough room to fit all the essentials, although Joe's
essentials were different to that of other people his age. There wasn't a
games console or even a TV, but there was a sound system for all
formats. There was also an impressive collection of music...everywhere; on
the floor, in boxes under the bed, stuffed in various drawers. On one wall,
there was a collection of photographs, not haphazardly stuck on, but
properly mounted and aligned. The arrangement was perfect, like a mini art
gallery. The photographs themselves were quite amazing; definitely personal
to Joe (Hayden recognised Tom, Kelly and Alex in a lot of them) but they
were technically very mature, and rather artistic. Hayden also noticed a
shelf with lots of different cameras and equipment.

"You work in a cinema?" asked Hayden, just as Joe was walking into the
room.

"I used to work in a cinema. I quit that job just a few weeks ago. I see
you found that out from my pictures."

"Yeah, I really like them. Why did you quit. I would have loved to work in
a cinema."

Joe came over to look at the pictures with Hayden. "I loved working
there. I loved the people I worked with. They're real characters.  I just
had to share the experience of working in that cinema, so I got jobs there
for two of my closest friends, Lucas and Sarah." He pointed to two people
in a staff group photo. Hayden recognised them from other photos.  It
wasn't like one of those bland shots of the staff standing rigidly, waiting
for the flash to go. It looked like all of them were really close.

"I stayed there for three years and six months, and only hated it during
the last three weeks I was there." Joe moved to a chair by his desk, and
stared out of the window.

Hayden could feel Joe closing up. "So what happened?"

He felt reluctant to tell Hayden some of his problems, but he knew that he
could trust him. "Everything just changed. I had been in a depression for
nearly three years, but I had kept that separate from how I was feeling at
work. It was my alternate life, a place where I can forget and be
happy. The fact that Sarah and Lucas were there didn't even remind me of
what I was like outside the workplace. They just thought it was good that
we had something away from our other friends.

"About two months ago, Lucas went missing. He just didn't show up for work,
or for Sarah and Kelly's joint birthday celebration. We all knew that Lucas
had problems, one of which is a drug habit, and so Sarah and I would cover
up for him at work; as much as we could without getting ourselves into
trouble, anyway. He was actually getting better. We had got him on a
clean-up program, and he hadn't used for six months.

"After he went missing, Sarah and I couldn't take working there
anymore. There were too many good memories. We felt like we had just got
him back from hell, and know he's gone. He's the youngest out of all of us,
only by a few months, but he will always be `our little brother.'"

Hayden looked at a picture of Joe, Sarah and Lucas. They were all wearing
sunglasses, and Lucas was wearing a sombrero. "Where was this taken? It
looks far too sunny to be London."

"You'd be surprised by how hot London gets in summer!" Joe's smiled at
Hayden's jibe, but it didn't last long. "That was taken in Spain. The eight
of us, because I hadn't met Kelly yet, were supposed to go on a tour of
Europe after we finished Sixth Form. The other couldn't go, either they
couldn't afford it, or some other thing was standing their way. We were
supposed to postpone it for the next summer, but the three of us decided to
go ahead. It was one of the happiest times of my life.

"The others weren't too happy about what we did, especially Tom. It was
originally our plan to do the tour, but it was on a more global scale. He
tried so hard not to speak to us when we got back, but we know how to pull
his strings. Once Tom had forgiven us, it wasn't long for the others to
follow."

"How old were you when you started to get into photography?" Hayden asked,
moving over to the camera shelf and picking up an old SLR camera.

"I was fourteen. It came about from a challenge from my father. He takes
horrible pictures because he doesn't know how to use that camera," said
Joe, pointing to the camera that Hayden was holding. "He told me that if I
produce 100% quality photographs on our next visit to the Philippines, then
that camera would be mine, and so it is. That camera's been in my family
for years. My dad bought it the day he left the Philippines for London,
thirty years ago."

Hayden placed the camera back in its original spot on the shelf. "One of
your cameras is missing."

Joe was shocked. He didn't tell anyone about that. "How'd you know that?"

"The shelf is pretty full of cameras, but there's an empty space, left of
the middle, just enough for another camera."

"If you weren't a good actor, you'd make a good cop...There should be a Lomo
Holga medium-format camera in that spot. I've got a spare, but the one
that's gone has sentimental value. It went missing around about the same
time Lucas was last here."

Hayden moved to sit on the bed so that he could be level with Joe. "So is
this what you want to be, a photographer?"

"Oh, the big question...what do I want to be when I grow up? What about you?
Can you say that being an actor is definitely it for you?"

"Yeah, I can. Well, this is what I want to be doing now and in the future,
but when I was younger, I wanted to be an architect. And I still entertain
the idea of being a pro Tennis or Hockey player. My family's heavily into
sports so that's what I was going for as my dream profession...wait, you
still haven't answered my question!"

"Damn, I thought I got away with it," cursed Joe, a crooked smile spreading
on his face. "I'll have to say that photography is a big part of my
life... and I can't see me not doing it for a living, but I really don't
want to limit myself to just that. I had originally wanted to be a
filmmaker, and I still want to do that, but I'm still figuring a lot of
things out."

Hayden collapsed backwards on the bed. He realised that there was a poster
on the ceiling. He couldn't believe that he didn't notice it before when he
first walked in. It was a framed original Star Wars poster. It brought a
smile to Hayden's face, knowing that the London premiere was just more than
a month away. He was so transfixed on the framed poster, that he didn't
notice Joe walking over to the camera shelf and picking up his Holga
medium-format. He walked over slowly to the bed, and started to snap away.

"Hey, what are you doing," asked Hayden, doing that classic celebrity
versus paparazzi shot, sticking his hand out to cover the lens. "You
know...I'm gonna have to sign a model-release form, and if you don't have
any, well, we're gonna have to cut this photo-shoot short."

The devilish grin was back, on both their faces, but Hayden's faded away
when Joe turned around and got a piece of paper and a pen out of his
desk. He then placed it on the bed for Hayden to examine.

Hayden gave in and signed it. With a defeated look, Hayden asked, "So where
do you want me?"

"Just stay on the bed."

"Am, I gonna have to strip?"

"Save it for after the session. I don't like to sex up my art."

The first roll of film was finished in two minutes. While Joe turned to get
more film, Hayden got of the bed and walked over. As Joe was turning back,
his lips were met with Hayden's. As first kisses go, this one was perfect;
for Joe, at least. Joe was so engrossed in Hayden that his camera fell out
of his hand, the back cover breaking as it hit the floor. Hayden wrapped
his arms around Joe's waist, and guided him to the bed. They collapsed in
each other onto the bed, Hayden on top. Joe slipped his hand underneath
Hayden's shirt, feeling the toned skin of his back.

Joe broke of the heavy make-out session that went on for 15 minutes. "I
think we should stop before we go too far."

"What do you mean? I thought you wanted this?"

"But not on the first date. All these things are `firsts' for me. You've
just given me my first kiss and my first make-out. I want to save that
other first for another time."

"I understand... Then let's do something else."

"What?" asked Joe.

"Let's just lay down, together."

That was all Joe needed to get up, take off his jeans and shirt, and go
under the covers. Hayden responded immediately and did the same. They got
closer together, and just started to softly kiss. They become lost in each
other, and soon Joe forgot that Alex was sleeping down stairs.


#


Through the sliver of the door, the Voyeur could see all that was going on
in the dimly lit room. The Voyeur saw Joe sensitively kissing Hayden on the
lips, while his hand touched the skin of Hayden stomach. The Voyeur saw
Hayden reciprocating with his hand rubbing Joe's back. The Voyeur had seen
enough, and decided leave.


TO BE CONTINUED