Date: Thu, 5 Feb 2004 09:56:59 EST
From: Noburu@aol.com
Subject: IS THIS OUR YOUTH chapter 6

Disclaimer: This story is a work of pure fiction and is not
intended to imply that Hayden Christensen is gay.

If it is illegal for you to be reading this story in your
city, state or country, or you are offended by homosexual
activity, then leave now.

This story time frame starts about March/April 2002, the
time when Hayden was in the west-end starring in "This is
Our Youth". Remember, this is fiction, nothing more.

Though I've had this chapter written for some time now, I
wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with it. I changed my
mind. An artist has a right to do so, right? Anyway, enjoy
and as always, constructive feedback is much appreciated.

IS THIS OUR YOUTH

Chapter 6

Waking up in someone's arms was new, different, and strange.
Joe felt like he was in a romance film. It all seemed so
constructed. The unusual sun-light was streaming in from the
window and partially drawn curtains, and falling on their
half naked bodies. Hayden was cuddling him from behind, his
nose nuzzled in Joe's shoulder.  Not that Joe was
complaining. It gave him an internal light that he hadn't
felt in years.

"Are you awake yet?" asked Hayden huskily, his eyes still
closed.

Joe shifted his body so that he could face Hayden. "I've
been awake for a while now. I didn't want to get up though.
I just feel like staying here."

"If you're like this when we just kiss and cuddle, then
you're never gonna want to leave when we take things
further."

"You have an extraordinarily high opinion of yourself, Mr.
Christensen," teased Joe, moving in to make contact with
Hayden's sweet smile. Hayden moved his head so that no
contact was made.

"I seriously need to brush my teeth, and have a shower. You
got any spare clothes that I can use?"

"Um.I think I can find some stuff for you to wear. You sure
you don't want to stay in my bed a little longer."

"As tempting as that sounds, I think we should get this day
going. I want to see more of the city, and you would make
the perfect guide."  Hayden moved in to attempt a kiss on
Joe's lips.

"Sorry.I seriously need to brush my teeth, and have a
shower!" Joe swiftly got out of the bed, and exited the
room. He quickly came back and chucked a towel at Hayden.
"Bathroom's down the hall. There should be a new toothbrush
behind the mirror."

While Hayden was having his amazingly long shower, Joe was
trying to pick out some clothes for Hayden to wear, but
found the task very difficult. They were about the same size
and build, so there was no problem of whether or not they
will fit, but Joe worried that Hayden wouldn't like his
style. He managed to get the task done, and threw in
something extra for good measure. That little something
brought pride to Joe's heart.

"That looks like a nice sweater." Hayden re-entered the
room, his body glistening from the water. He came over to
Joe's side of the bed and bent over to look through the
clothes. Joe's couldn't take his eyes of Hayden's butt. The
tightly wrapped towel showed every contour of his firm rear.

"Seen something you like?" asked Hayden, catching Joe off-
guard.

"Yeah.definitely," replied Joe, as though mesmerised by
Hayden's lean body.

Hayden was on a high. He was used to having people lust over
him, but not by anyone he truly cared about. He didn't think
he could fall for a person in such a small amount of time,
especially with another man. However, he knew that he
couldn't say it, not yet anyway. He needed to know how Joe
felt about him, and not to mention in which direction his
career will go if he did come out. But the next thing that
happened made him forget all his worries in an instant, and
created confusion, and then laughter.

"What's this doing here?" asked Hayden, picking up and
Toronto Maple Leaf's hockey jersey that was hiding
underneath the pile of clothes.

"I have family in Canada. They take me and my brothers to
hockey games whenever we go there. I always buy a jersey for
myself."

Discarding the stylish sweater that Joe had placed on top,
Hayden proudly put on the jersey, and gave Joe a smile that
could only be interpreted as gratitude.

As Joe was taking his shower, Hayden finished getting
dressed. The room looked extraordinarily different in the
daylight. A lot less cluttered and more calm. Hayden slumped
onto the comfy armchair by the desk, absorbing the serenity
that was now evident in the air. Looking over the desk, he
saw a thick black work-journal. It surprised him that he
hadn't noticed it before. Thinking that it was a book for
Joe to workout his creative ideas, Hayden decided to pick it
up and have a look through.

Words, thoughts, clippings from newspapers, extracts from
poems, sketches and scribbles, but mostly photos.of Alex.
Every photograph was of Alex. There were other people
included in the pictures but all had Alex as the focus. Some
of them were cropped, ripped even, so that Alex was the
subject matter. The words denoted pain and anguish; of love
unrequited. Captions like `thou heart was unjustly ripped"
and "sweet sleep was the only escape" flooded every
available space. Hayden knew exactly what it meant. He
wasn't stupid. He decided to close the book and place it
back on the desk.

Hayden decided to distract his thoughts by looking through
Joe's collection of music. It didn't really work. Being
fully aware that you're falling for a man that was
infatuated with someone else could seriously unsettle a
person.

"No Abba or Madonna Albums?" asked Hayden as Joe re-entered,
already half dressed.

"Only one, Ray of Light, and you're looking in the wrong
place. My feel good stuff I keep on the shelves. Where you
are looking, under the bed, is for all my serious, moody
stuff."

"You have a lot more moody music than you have `feel good'.
Why is that, exactly?"

"I don't know? I just do," replied Joe, while putting on a
jumper. The Last question made him look over to the desk,
realising that the journal was where it shouldn't be. He
walked over to the desk and placed the journal back in its
drawer, and then locked it. "Are you hungry? I think the
others have already started breakfast."

Hayden raised his eyebrows. All he had for sustenance lately
was coffee. "I'm starving. I hope you and your friends make
food as well as you make espressos."

All Joe could do was looked worried. "Um.."

                              #

The smell of pancakes permeated the air as soon as they came
down the stairs. Joe wasn't surprised to see Tom and Kelly
already busy with serving up a feast. He was more confused
as to where they got the food from. The table was full with
different breakfast foods; cereals, spreads for toast, eggs,
bacon, sausages, and bran muffins.

"Where did all this come from?"

"We quickly went to the shops," replied Kelly, slowly
gauging Joe's reaction. "Don't worry; it didn't cost us too
much. I know you don't like us to pay for food while under
your roof, but babe, your cupboards were bare!"

"I, for one, am grateful." Hayden took a seat at the table.
He looked over to Joe to join him, and he reluctantly gave
in.

"Oh yeah, by the way, when Alex and Tom woke up this
morning, they found the back door open."

Joe looked over to Tom, who was concentrating on flipping
pancakes. "What do you mean by open? Was it unlocked, or
wide open?"

"Wide open," replied Tom, while transferring two pancakes to
a dish.

This was strange. Only Joe's family and Tom had keys to the
back door. Then it clicked. There's a spare key hidden in
the garden, and only one other person knew about it.

"Lucas was here," mumbled Joe, shocked that Luke had came
out of hiding, and chosen here as his first stop.

"What did you say?" asked Hayden. All he heard was a mumble.
So did Kelly and Tom, for that matter.

"Luke must have been here looking for a place to crash. I've
got to call Sarah." Joe leapt of his chair, and hustled out
of the kitchen to use the phone in the living room.

"I take it Lucas is really important to Joe." Hayden was
fishing for answers.

"Joe sees all of his friends as important to him," replied
Kelly, realising that Hayden needed to know where he stood.
"You're important to him, regardless of the amount of time
you've known each other."

"How'd you know About Lucas?" Tom knew the answer, he just
wanted verification, and find out how much Joe told Hayden.

"Joe told me about him while I was looking at the photos on
the wall."

"And what else?"

"Just that he went missing." Hayden knew that there was more
to the story, but he wasn't going to push the subject, not
yet anyway. "And that he has a lot of problems."

Kelly took a mouthful of her yogurt and cereal. "Joe feels
responsible for Luke. He feels that if he had looked after
him more, Lucas wouldn't have turned out the way he did. We
told him that Lucas would have turned out the way he did
regardless."

"So, what are you two going to do for the rest of the day?"
Tom interrupted, not liking where the conversation was
going.

"Joe's gonna show me around London, maybe go to some of the
art galleries."

"Boring," chimed Kelly, smiling when she turned to see Tom
glaring at her. "Sorry, I'm an art student, and I love art
galleries. It's just that you don't seem the type. Don't you
want to see a football match?"

"You mean soccer, right?"

"Yes, but I mean football."

"Kel," Tom interjected. "No one's playing today, and you
wouldn't be able to get tickets even if there were." Tom
shifted his attention to Hayden. "Our friends are having a
gig in Soho. You know where that is, right?"

"Yeah, it's just off Shaftesbury Avenue."

"It's a place called Paradiso. If you and Joe aren't doing
anything later, maybe you could drop by, say around ten
o'clock?"

Hayden just gave a slight nod to the idea.

"Sounds like a plan. I could do with some live music in my
life." They all turned around to see Joe walking back into
the kitchen, considerably more stressed than when he left.
"Lucas went to see Sarah last night. He asked her for some
money, but she refused. She wants me to meet up with her. Is
that all right Hayden? It will be quick."

"Yeah.sure, I don't mind."

Kelly's face switched on. "And she's not the only one. Alex
wants to talk to you about something. I don't know what
about, but he does. I think it's about his relationship
problems."

"Really...Where is Alex anyway?"

Kelly took a swig of her fruit juice. "He had to leave for
another round in the ring with Jen. He'll see you at
Paradiso, if you decide to go. Personally, I think you
should get this out of the way."

"But why would Alex want to talk to me about Jen? We've
never been close. Wouldn't he prefer to talk to Aidan, or
Lucy, or even Tom? I would be the last person he would
choose to confide in."

Hayden understood why. He had experienced some of the power
Joe has over people. Within a matter of minutes of just
talking with him, Hayden felt that he had known Joe for
years, and could trust him with his heart and soul. However,
the thought of Joe wasting his time listening to Alex's
mundane relationship issues infuriated Hayden. It had now
become Hayden's personal mission to remove Alex from the
equation.

                              #

The Prince Charles Cinema off Leicester Square was already a
familiar hangout for Joe and his crew, long before the trio
got jobs there. The dirt cheap tickets were a blessing
amongst the larger mainstream cinemas showing the latest big
features at extortionist prices. The Prince Charles only
showed films that were no longer on general release, and
held world cinema, classics and independent films in equal
regard with American productions.

Sarah had told Joe to meet her here, on familiar ground.
They hadn't talked to one another for more than three weeks,
the last time being the joint send-off party that their co-
workers threw for them. That wasn't exactly a fun night out.
It started of nicely, but it turned nasty when the two of
them got in to a massive argument, ending with Sarah
storming off and calling Joe a "fucking bastard". It was
hard hating someone that you loved like a brother,
especially if the hate was coming from an unknown place.

Her reflection in the window showed exactly how she felt;
distorted, weak, tainted by a glaring light. She had decided
to revert back into her Goth-self; not by much, but enough
to be in mourning for a man who apparently is still alive.
Tears were beginning to stir when she caught something else
in the reflection.

"Hey bunny," Joe gave a weak smile, one that was looking for
forgiveness.

Sarah turned away from the window to face Joe. Her voice was
full of low, grating pain. "Please don't call me that. Not
now."

"When did you dye your hair black?"

"Not long after I last saw you," replied Sarah, pulling a
streak of hair behind her left ear. "Who's your friend? I
thought you were with Tom and Kelly."

"I was, but Tom had to go to Sunday mass with his family,
and Kelly went to have lunch with her brother and sister-in-
law..This is Hayden."

"Hi." Hayden definitely felt awkward around Sarah. She must
have that affect on people that don't know her. He didn't
feel at all awkward around Joe's other friends. "I'm just
gonna go buy some cigarettes, let you two have some privacy.
I'll be back in ten."

As Hayden left, Sarah just had to say loudly, "He looks
familiar," knowing exactly who he was. The smile from her
joke only lasted six seconds, and the internal pain
returned. "How'd you get shacked up with him?"

"Long story. Let's just leave it at that. How are you
holding up?"

"With invisible strings." It was getting increasingly hard
for Sarah to hold back the tears. "Why did I turn him away?
If I gave him the money, he might have stayed."

Joe pulled her into a tight hug. She resisted at first, but
she broke down in his arms, allowing herself to let out all
the tears that she had kept for two months. "He would have
used the money for more drugs, and you wouldn't have been
able to keep him. He would have used every excuse to leave
as soon as he got the cash. You did the right thing."

They both turned their heads to see if anyone was paying
them any attention. David, a former co-worker, was behind
the kiosk, trying his best to look as though he was doing
something else. He was definitely cute.a bit too boyish for
Joe's liking, though he was the same age. He could see why
Luke took a liking to him.

Joe just had to unsettle him a bit. "You all right, David?"

"Um." David was unsettled as it is. "Not really. I was
wondering if there was any news about Lucas."

"Not really," replied Joe. He didn't like getting others
involved in their affairs. This was a family problem. He
placed his head back on Sarah's shoulder. They stayed that
way for a few minutes.

Sarah pulled away, her arms still locked around his waist.
"How can I be in love a man who hurts me so much? Who allows
himself to spiral out of control? I thought he was dead,
Joe! And he shows up on my front door, casually asking for a
loan! Now he's gone again."

"Don't worry. At least we know he's alive. I think he might
show up at the gig tonight."

"What makes you think that?"

"Just a hunch. Are you gonna put in an appearance? It would
be good for the others to know that you're still with us,
and not drifting away."

Sarah's expression turned cold in an instant. She pushed
away from the embrace. "What like how you `drifted away'
last year? When you `ran away' to Art College and cut
yourself off from all of us. When Lucas and me only saw you
here, in the Prince Charles and you didn't even talk to us."

Joe's anger was rising, but curbed it out of love. "I had to
work through some shit. Dealing with yours and Luke's
problems at the same time wasn't exactly going to do me
good."

"We didn't ask for you to deal with our shit. We just needed
for you to be there. But instead, you did exactly what Lucas
is doing right now, just in a different way."

"Look, can you take it outside."

Simultaneously, Joe and Sarah shouted, "SHUT UP, DAVID!" to
which David frustratingly scratched the back of his head,
and turned to rearrange the chocolate packets.

Joe had to back down. Sarah was right about all of it, and
some of the lies in his head were corrected. "Look, are you
gonna be at Paradiso later, or what?"

"I don't know. I guess...We'll see, okay?"

"Okay. I'll pay for your drinks if you do." Joe waited for
her to react.

A slight devious smile came over Sarah's delicate features.
"That sounds very tempting. I might take you up on that
offer."

                              #

The two of them sitting on the floor of the Millennium
Bridge eating their late lunch must have been a strange
sight for passers-by. Joe had been taking pictures of Hayden
all day at various spots all over London, having the model-
release forms ready at each location. Hayden kept saying
that it wasn't necessary but Joe insisted, joking that if he
wanted to sell them to a cheesy fashion mag, Hayden couldn't
do anything about it.

"Do you think I can bring my friends to the club?"

Joe looked up from his Chicken burger to meet Hayden's eyes.
"Sure... Who? I didn't think that you knew anyone in
London."

"Well, I don't. Not really, anyway. What I should have said
was `work colleagues'."

"Oh..Well if you think they'd like to come, then you should
give them a call and invite them out. We can swing by their
places before we hit the club." Joe handed Hayden his mobile
phone.

"Hey Jake, its Hayden..Yeah, I'm good..Is Anna with
you..That's good, it means I only have to give this message
only once...Would you two like to go to a cub
tonight?......Cool...Um, hold on." as Hayden turned to ask a
question, Joe pulled a Franken monster face.

"Cut it out," Hayden's face barely able to stay straight.
"Stop, please? I need to know what time we should be there."

"Tell them we'll pick them up at 8 o'clock. If we get to the
club early, we can hang out at the bar."

Hayden relayed the message and said his farewells. He then
leaned in to kiss Joe. Just as they were really getting into
it, a snobbish office gentleman walked by and mumbled,
"Disgraceful".

Yeah.Definitely.." replied Joe loudly. "..That suit you're
wearing is ATROCIOUS!"

The snobbish gentleman's final reaction caused both Hayden
and Joe to collapse on each other, laughing their arses off.

"Come on, let's go!" Hayden got up and offered his hand to
help Joe up. "Tonight, I think we gotta at least be decent."

"Being decent is the last thing on my mind."

"That devil grin is gonna get me into a whole lot of
trouble!"


TO BE CONTINUED