By Mouudy contact me atMichiganmark26@yahoo.com
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trademarks of the WB and the CW Networks, David Greenwalt, Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox, and
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Lucian the Vampire Slayer
Chapter 8- Sins of the Father, Sins of the Son
That is when the vision began, my heart froze in terror, I saw the world, as it would become, and I saw the evil that would be unleashed.
Dear God what have I done!
The next thing I knew I was back outside the castle, everyone still outside, my mother crying on my fathers shoulder.
"Lucian! Oh Lucian!" Buffy shouted as she ran over to me and held me tight.
I stood there frozen, my eyes looking around at all the innocent faces that I just gave a death sentence too.
"Lucian? Lucian, what's wrong?" Buffy asked.
The pain inside my heart was too much to bare, what had I done? What have I done?
I fell to my knees, and began crying, the tears flowing, as if floodgates had opened.
I started to hypervenilate; I could not take the pain. They all had no idea of what has to come, what will be, what I have done.
I finally blacked out.
I awoke in Angel's arms, everything that had happened flashing through my mind. My heart began pounding in my chest, harder than ever before. I could hear the voices of concern all around me, but I could not find my voice to speak.
The horror of what the original Watchers had shown me, made my body tremble with terror. Angel could feel me trembling hard; he pulled me close to his chest, and held me tightly.
I could hear them asking me questions, but I could not even move, I could not do anything.
I was in shock.
I was drained, the day's events were too much to handle.
"Lucian, talk to us, tell us what happened?" Buffy asked, running a hand down the side of my face.
I moved my mouth, but no words came out. The harder I tried to speak, the more nothing happened, the more nothing happened, the more I began panicking. I was trembling harder than before, so much so that Angel began shaking hard. Tears rolled down his face, dripping onto my face.
"Your okay Lucian, your okay son, I'm here I've got you and I'm never going to let anything happen to you, I promise." he cried, holding me tighter.
"Let's get him inside Angel, we can find out what happened later." Buffy said, wiping tears from his eyes.
Angel lifted me up, as he began carrying me toward the doors, I wrapped my arms tightly around, burying my head in his shoulder, and began crying uncontrollably.
They took me to my room and laid me down on my bed, each taking a seat on either side of me. I looked into each of their eyes, and saw the fear, the pain, the suffering they were feeling. I tried to speak, my mouth moved, but only jumbled words came out. The more I spoke, the more I sounded like a babbling buffoon.
"Lucian, slow down, just take your time. Your not making any sense, just breathe, relax, we'll get through this, together as a family." Angel said, taking my hand in his.
Get through this! As if! Life is not supposed to be this way, this is not right. There isn't supposed to be monsters, and evil trying to destroy the world, is there? Aren't you suppose to be born, raised by loving parents who try to teach you wrong from right. Building a moral compass in which we make choices, that helps shape who we are to become. Go to school, make friends, find lovers, join fraternities, become doctors, layers, or anything else are hearts desire. Find the perfect house, with a white picket fence, a dog, all the while planning a retirement. Then finally spending your golden years, sitting on a rocking chair, thinking back on all the right and wrong choices we made in life.
It has all been a façade, a fairytale embedded in our heads from when we were born. The reality, the harsh truth is that demons, evil, monsters do walk the world. They do everything to bring destructions, and mayhem into the world. That is the true reality, horror, nightmares, that is what life is about, that is my reality.
"I hate my life!" I screamed. I had not realized at first that I had spoken aloud, but when I saw the look on their faces I knew that I had finally spoke.
"I hate this life for you too, Lucian. I sometimes that about having children, what it would be like, would I be a good mother, what my child would grow up to be like. Then the horror of the very life I have led, reminded me, no, snapped me out of the fantasy of having a child brought up in a world filled with such horrible things.
Lucian finding out that you are my son, that I actually had a baby...it floored me; I was overwhelmed with a million different emotions. Shock, fear, happiness, but most of all pain. Before you let your imagination run wild, let me explain. The pain I felt was that I knew that being the child of Angel, and me, could only mean one thing...that without a shadow of a doubt, you would be destined to live out the same life as we do. The thought of that, sent a pain through my heart that astounded me.
After the Powers that Be explained everything. I stepped out to go to the bathroom. I cried uncontrollably, more of it was tears of happiness, because as a slayer, most never live to see past 25, and I have only ever learned of one Slayer that ever had a child. To learn that I had one, and with...well...with my greatest love Angel, it took my breath away, it was a dream I've had a million times over, to find out it was real...well, it was the truest moment of happiness I'd ever felt.
Once again, the reality of what Angel and my life are like, and what that would mean for you, sent chills up and down my spine.
Lucian, I know what its like, to have your life abruptly altered, to find out you are a Slayer with superhuman abilities, when all you want to be is a normal kid, with a normal life, doing normal things. I wish I could give you that, I wish more than anything, that you could finish high school, go to prom; get that scholarship to all those Ivy League schools that accepted you. Go to collage, party with your frat brothers, while cramming late into the night, to get straight A's, all the while finding your collage sweetheart, fall in love, and do all the things collage kids do. To be the Football player you dreamed of being, with so many friends, and fans following you as you reach all your dreams.
I am sorry though, that is just not a possibility anymore, as much as I wish it were. Lucian your destiny, much like mine, much like Angel has is far greater than any one wish we have, for a normal life.
I want to protect you, I want to keep you from this life, but the best thing I can do, that we as your parents can do, is work together to fight these battles together, together as a family.
To do that, to help each other, there is only one way we can do this, you have to accept the reality that is your life, and you have to tell us what happened." she not only spoke as a mother in pain, she spoke as the Slayer. As the true Warrior, she really was, and I could not have been prouder to call her my Mother.
I hugged her as if I had never hugged her before, and then turned to Angel giving him just as strong a hug as I did her.
"I know I've never said this before, although I've dreamed of saying this to you both since the moment I found out you were my real parents. I know I've given you a hard time since the moment we met, I know I haven't made being my parents easy, but I've been scared to say these three words, scared because I didn't know what it all meant. I did not know what having real parents would be like, did not know how you guys would feel about me, would you want me, would you care for me, would you hate me. I was scared for so many more reasons, this life that the two of you lead; you could die at any moment. You could be taken from me, right when I just found you, no matter the how, or why, I found my real parents. That's all I've ever wanted my whole entire life, the only hope I ever had growing up in the abusive household, in my ugly abusive life, thinking of my parents was the only strength I had to endure everything that was thrown at me.
I'm still scared, sometimes I wake up screaming at night, waking up in a cold sweat, from watching the two of you be killed right in front of me, and there was nothing I could do about it, nothing.
I will not let my fear control me any longer, I will not let another moment go by without saying the three most important words ever, the three most important words in the world to me, because I've never been able to say them.
I'm not going to waste another moment of my life hiding behind my fear, I'm not going to take the chance that I never have another chance to say those words, especially to the two most important people in my life.
Mom, Dad, I...oh, God...I love you guys, more than words could ever describe. I have waited my whole life, hoped my whole life, just to look into your eyes, and tell you how much I love you. I love you...I love you...I Lucian Summers, love you Buffy Ann Summers my mother, and you Angel my father.
God, it feels so amazing...so...so freeing, liberating, to finally say those words. I can't promise to be the best son, I can't even promise to be perfect, but I can promise you that I will always love and cherish both of you, all the days of my life, no matter how short it might be." I smiled, as the three of us hugged tightly together.
I never wanted that moment to end, that one true moment of pure perfect happiness.
Suddenly Angel wrapped his arm around his abdomen, clutching it tightly. He began groaning, as he fell to his hands and knees on the floor.
"Dad? Dad, what is it, what's wrong?" I asked frantically.
"Angel, oh God Angel, no...no...no...this can't be happening, not know." Buffy stood terrified.
"Ugh...go...Buffy get him out of here...ugh...oh God...Buffy hurry, I can't back much longer. GO!" Angel said groaningly.
"Lucian, run, we have to run, now!" Buffy screamed.
"What? I don't understand, what's happening to dad?" I looked from her to him.
"Lucian, please if there was ever a time to trust me, now would be the time." she said grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the door.
We took off running down the hall, with her pulling me hard behind her.
"What's happening to him, why is he in pain? Why were his eyes turning red, please tell me." I begged.
"One true moment of happiness and the curse the gypsies cursed him with takes over. That's not your father any more, it's Angelus." tears rolling down her cheeks as she was barley able to speak the words.
I stumbled at hearing what she just said, falling flat on my face. She grabbed me lifting me up, with her super strength. I was on my feet before I could even feel the breath, rush out of me. My mind was reeling with everything she just said, knowing as much as Conner had told me, the worst part of this was that I knew I was the cause of this, I just gave him a moment of true happiness, and now I have freed the monster trapped inside him.
This was my entire fault.
"I did this, I did this to him. I am a curse I hurt everyone I love. If I lose him, or if anyone gets hurt because of what I've done, I'll never forgive myself." I said.
"No, no Lucian, you can't think that way, this isn't your fault. Lucian, I am not sure what you know, and I really do not think now is the time to tell you, but the reason behind the curse is a long hard story. It is not fair, it is not right, it is the reason your father has such a tortured soul. It is the reason he has dedicated his life, to fighting on the side of good. Please, no matter what you much know that this is not your fault, and that no matter what happens, we will get your father back. I promise you, now lets get to Willow; she's the only one that's ever been able to restore Angel's soul." Buffy said frantically.
As we turned the next corner, we slid to floor landing on our asses, and sliding to a stop. Standing at the end of the dark hall, was none other than Angel, or rather Angelus.
"Tisk, Tisk, Tisk, I person's feelings could be truly hurt, when he see's his one true love taking their son away, before I had a chance to meet him. Now, be a good little boy, and come give daddy a hug." he said sarcastically.
"He's not your son, he's Angel's son, and for the record, I've never been your lover, you could only dream of ever having a woman like me. Now, stay back or I'll be forced to send you back to hell, again." Buffy said angrily.
"You are just so damned adorable when you're being snippy; gosh I miss that about you. In addition, you son, talk about taking after the old man. The power you were wielding earlier, now that was something. The way you took down the Scooby gang, without breaking a sweat, gosh that got my juices flowing. Though do not take that the wrong way, I know what is running through your naughty head, thinking about my juices flowing. Ah, but the things I can teach you, we could be a force to be reckoned with, bring the world to its needs." Angel gloated.
Juices flowing, did he really just say what I thought he said? Does he know I am into men, could he know? I mean if he knows, than doesn't that mean that Angel would have to know? I could not breathe; my heart was pounding in my chest, my hands all clammy. I knew I should fear Angelus, more so than my secret, but I could not help myself.
"What's the matter son, cat got your tongue? Do not worry your secret is safe with me, for now that is. Just to make you feel a little better, I will fill you in on a little secret. You're a chip off the old block, I have a few stories I could tell you, as well as a few things I could teach you, and it all revolves around the same blonde, that makes your...well you get the picture...Like I said, it's our little secret. Just come to me, and we can be on our way. Showing you the true meaning of life, I could show you how to really live it up. So let's leave the little Debbie downer, and let daddy show you the world." Angel asked, holding his hand out.
"You'll take him over my dead body, and believe me; Angel would want me to kill you, before you even tried to lay a finger on him." Buffy said heatedly.
"So the hard way it is, as you've seemed to forgotten, Buffy. I have over two hundred years of life on this earth; I know things you could never begin to comprehend. I know the dark arts, all books of magic, some that are not even around anymore, but with my photographic memory, it is all up here. Not to mention, I am always there in Angel's mind, hearing everything that happens, watching all the boring details, and paying attention to all the subtle things you all seem to miss. Right son?" he taunted me again.
"I don't know what you're talking about, but quite frankly I don't care, you will not hurt Angel and my son. Now, Lucian you get the hell out of here, go find Willow, Spike, and the others. Now, go find them, tell them what's happen, I'll deal with Angelus." it was an order, not a request.
"I'm not leaving you here, alone with him. We're a family, we fight together, and I won't lose you too." I tried standing my ground, but she turned and gave me a look that made me shake in my boots. I turned to run the other way, but before I moved an inch, Angel spoke.
"Don't go far son, I'm not through with you yet. We have a lot to look forward to together; it is going to be an exciting ride. Plus, this wont take long, lover girl and I, have done this dance before, plenty of times." he taunted.
"If you remember correctly, I beat you each and every time, now go Lucian, now!" She shouted.
As I started to make my getaway, I heard a loud crash, and stopped to turn around, only to see Buffy spin kick Angelus hard in the stomach, sending him crashing into a table breaking it to pieces. I wanted to run back and help her, but I had never seen that look before in her eyes. The look of a mothers fears, for her child. I felt way to compelled to obey, I had no choice I ran as fast as I could.
In all the chaos, I had completely forgotten that I could call Willow telepathically, rather than run around a castle searching for her.
(Willow! Willow, please hear me, this is an emergency.) I shouted in my mind.
(Bring it down a notch Lucian, I can hear you loud and clear.) She said.
(Willow we've got big trouble, I've made a big mistake, I've...I've given Angel a moment of true happiness, and now I've set the devil free. Angel is now Angelus again, and he and mom are fighting in the hallway near my room. Please hurry; I do not know what to do! I do not want either of them to get hurt.) I said panicking.
Before I knew it, I was running back towards my mother, to see those fighting moves I have never seen before. He brought his fists together and down on her back, bending her forward on her hands, she in turn brought her foot up kicking him hard in the face, staggering him back.
She continued with flipping forward, coming face to face with him, and began giving him a beat down. Punching, while ducking his return attacks. I could tell by the way she was moving, that she was not going for the kill, but going for the hurt.
I knew she was doing what she needed to do to save Angel, but keep Angelus from killing anyone.
"Mom look out!" I shouted, when he was about to bring a piece of the table leg across her head. She ducked, and turned around backhanding him.
"Lucian, I said get out of here!" she shouted, distracted for a moment.
That moment was all it took; he had her around the neck, with the sharp piece of the table leg pointed at her neck. Just then, Willow, Spike, Faith, and Illyria were the first to approach.
"Don't you hurt her, or I swear I will break every bone in your body slowly, keeping you conscious the whole time, making sure you feel every bit of torture I can cause you." I promised.
He kissed Buffy's cheek, and then licked up the side of her face.
"Oh baby, did we ever do good work. Our son is already talking about torture, and just how to make it last long...mmm...intoxicating.
Willow, Faith, how nice to see the two of you again. Faith, Faith, Faith, I owe you some major payback. If it was not for that little stunt you and Willow pulled, I would still be free. I am going to make sure the two of you suffer sweetly, in ways you could never begin to imagine. Spike, you were always such a weak link; I should have killed you the first time I laid eyes on your pathetic ass.
Now, this really is not the time, or the place for this, for you really do have me at a disadvantage. So I'll be leaving now, with my son of course." he said confidently.
"The hell you will, there is no where for you to go, and no way of escape. The whole castle is surrounded with Slayers, your not going anywhere. So give up now, or I'll put you down myself." Faith said.
"No! Nobody is going to hurt anyone, he is still my father, and I do not want to lose him. Please just let my mother go, and I promise will leave you alone." I begged.
"You called me father; it's like music to my ears. Not like that whinny, bratty Conner...Waaa, I want my daddy, waaa, I want Cordy, waaa, and I am a monster. That boy was such a lost cause, I wanted to kill him myself, just to get him to stop whinnying all the time.
However, you Lucian, I have been waiting for you for centenaries...Yes, you heard me right, I once met a Seer, and she showed me the birth of my true heir, the one who would rule by my side. She should me the power we would be, how together we would bring this world to its knees. You have gifts, you are hardly even aware of, I know all about them. What they do, what they are for, and just what you are meant to do with them. I can help you in ways, these clowns could only dream of helping you.
Now be a good little boy, and come to daddy!" I hardly had a choice in the matter, he did not sound like he wanted to hurt me, but he obviously did not have a problem hurting my mother. I could not let that happen, they would just have to find a way to save me later.
I started walking towards him, when Spike grabbed me, and turned me around.
"Spike, please, I have no choice that's my mother he's got. Tell me you wouldn't risk your life for her, and I swear I won't go." I asked.
"Lucian, she wouldn't want you giving in to him, you have to trust me, we know him, and he would never kill her. Whether he is Angel, or Angelus, there has only been one thing he was fixated on, and that was Buffy. He won't hurt her, I promise." Spike swore, but still did not answer the real question that I asked, and that said it all to me. He would gladly die to save my mother, as would anyone in this room.
I could do no less, I was her son, and I should be the first in line.
"I'm going, I have to, she is my mother. Willow, mom said you knew what you needed to do to bring my father back. Don't waste anytime, do whatever it takes, I'll buy as much time as I can." I said to her, she merely nodded.
I started walking slowly towards them, Buffy eyes were wide with fear, I knew it was fear for me, and nothing to do with her.
"Lucian, please listen to me, don't do this, I'm your mother. I order you to get out of here, hide, anything, just don't go with him." she begged.
"I won't let you die, not over me. He will not hurt me; he needs me for whatever his true plans are. I have to do this mother, please forgive me." I begged.
As soon as I was close enough, he pushed Buffy sending her flying against the wall, and grabbed onto me. He rushed moving backward, and took us both crashing through the window.
He landed on his feet, holding onto me, to keep me from getting hurt, not that it would have.
Next thing I knew, he was pushing a pressure point at the back of my neck, and I was out before I could think what he was doing.
A man walks to Lila's door, and tentatively knocks on the door.
"It better be important, or I'll have you sent down to the basement!" Lila shouted.
"Mistress Lila, it's important, something I think would really make you happy to know." the man said.
"Then what are you waiting for, get your ass in here already." Lila shouted.
He slowly walked through the door, fearing to make a wrong move. Workers were known to walk into Lila's office, and later found to be dragged out with there necks broken. Knowing how easy it was to turn her angry, the workers feared bringing her any kind of news, be it good or bad.
"What is it, I'm busy, speak already." Lila spoke without lifting her head up.
"The Seers Mistress, they have sensed a soul being taken back to the ether." he began, his voice cracking.
"What of it? That's not a very uncommon thing to happen." Lila said, still not looking up.
"One that was stolen from the ether realm?" he said.
Lila froze, her mind making the connection instantaneously.
"Angelus!" she said, more to herself, a smile crept on her face.
"Yes Mistress, it would seem that Angel has had a moment of true happiness, one that ripped the soul out of him, free Angelus." he said, excited that Lila was now smiling.
"That changes everything, if Angelus is free, we can use that to our advantage. The good guys have lost one of their most valuable players, and with him out, they are blind to most of what they are up against when it comes to us. In addition, we have something Angelus wants, and he is going to need someone on his side. Moreover, if Angelus knows about Lucian, then he knows the value having that boy under control, and what that would mean to him. Angelus is one of the original cunningly, violent, torturer of his time. In the world today, that can go a long way, if you play by the new rules of today, and not those of the past in which he ran a rampage through continents.
Now quit standing around gloating, you have earned another day to live, make it count. Find Angelus, it is time we meet again. If I know him, he already has Lucian with him, he will be ready to use Lucian to get what he really wants, and if he knows the secret of the Orb. Then he'll needs the means to use the power...That would be us...We hold the key, he holds the power...He'll be heading this way, find him, and let him walk right into here...If you give him any trouble, he will kill anyone that gets in his way. So leave the front door open to him...Now, Go you fool!" She gloated.
"Yes Mistress, I'll find him myself..." he bowed as he left.
"Finally, Angelus eating out of the palms of my hands, and bringing Lucian to me. Having a second chance at life, has been the luckiest thing to ever happen to me...Everything is falling right into place, and I am going to be ruling this pathetic world before I know it. Come to me Angelus, I'm waiting for you lover boy..." Lila smiled evilly to herself...
Pushing a button on her desk phone...
"Yes Lila, how may I service you?" the female voice answered.
"Harmony, send the Dream Walkers a message, tell them Lila Morgan said, it's time for them to pay in full. Give the Scooby gang exactly the horror we talked about, and make it as brutal as possible. I want them to fear closing their eyes, I want them sleep deprived. I want them seeing doubles, monsters every which way they turn. I want them so distracted by real live walking nightmares, that by the time they try to find Lucian they will be so lost and confused, scared and troubled, that they would not be able to put one foot in front of the other. I need enough time to persuade Angelus to join us, and he is already not to be trusted, so I have my work cut out for me. However, if I know Angelus the way I think I do, he is headed this way now.
It's only matter of time, till I have everything I want, the revenge I deserve, and the ultimate power on earth." Lila said laughing a throaty laugh.
"As you wish, Lila." the voice answered.
"Spike, can't you use your vampire senses to track Lucian's scent?" Buffy asked.
"I've followed the scent as far as I could, but where the spell concealing the Castle begins the scent ends. Buffy, Angelus has Lucian, and it would seem he knows more about the Orb, and whatever super baddy is behind everything that is going on. Angelus is more dangerous to Lucian, then any of the rest as far as I am concerned. Bloody hell, for that matter, why is it that Angel doesn't have all the memories that Angel has, the same way Angelus knows everything that's in Angel's memories?" Spike asked.
"Wesley, didn't you guys run into this kind of situation with Angel before? Where you freed Angelus, to find out what deal Angel couldn't remember Angelus making?" Buffy asked.
"Yes we did, and if it wasn't for Faith we would never have been able to get Angel back. Angelus was the key to remembering the encounter with the Beast, that Angel could not remember what so ever. It was would seem there is a lot many more secrets that Angel is not aware of, that only Angelus knows.
Lucian is in more trouble than just a dangerous Angelus, whatever the Gem is supposed to be used for, Angelus knows the answer, and that means a whole world of trouble of for Lucian." Wesley said urgently.
"Then you need to step it up Wesley, figure out what's in those scrolls Lucian brought back from Lila's office. Willow, how is it possible that you cannot do a locator to find Lucian? I mean Angelus was just set free, how is it possible that he knows how to shield Lucian from Magical powers? How is it he knows about the Gem, and what Lucian is capable of doing? Moreover, what does he plan to use him for?
We also know that Lucian is safe for now; Angelus needs him for whatever his master plan is, but as for how much time...that is the problem. So who has idea's, who has any kinds of answers, who has anything?" Buffy asked, trying to put her motherly fears away, and approach this as any supernatural case as possible.
"Angel, or rather Angelus has lived a long, long time, there is no telling what he's learned over all that time. Not to mention what he learned dealing with the gypsies, especially the ones that cursed him. He did torture them for a long time, before he finally killed the girl. Not to mention Drusilla, she had powers well out of the scope of our knowledge. There is no telling what she could have told him, or what Darla, or the Master you killed Buffy when you first came to Sunnydale. We have many players, some dead to ask, and others that we have no clue where they are, of if they could even be of any help. What about you Spike, you were apart of Darla's family, you knew Angelus better than anyone we know." Willow said throwing out any idea's she had.
"Angelus and Darla ran the show, were they went, Drew and I followed, and everything ended in mayhem and nothing more. We lived for the excitement of them time, killing, bringing ruins to towns, burning them down. I had a one-track mind, find every slayer, and bring on the one fight that was truly life or death for me. It is all I lived for, the sweet powerful taste of a Slayers blood. Angelus hated that about me, amongst other things, but most of all he could never bring him self to kill a Slayer, he respected them to much. As sick a bastard as Angelus was, when it came to Slayers he only ever saw them as a symbol for a cause worthy of respect. It is truly ironic, that in the end, as bizarre a chance as a vampire getting his soul back, the first and only true love he would ever find would be a Slayer. No less father one, I truly believe with all my heart, he will never hurt you, and most of all he would never hurt Lucian.
Why do you think the first time he changed back into Angelus, his one and only fixation was you, the same way the only thing he has ever thought about since the moment he laid eyes on you, before you ever even met him, was you. It has always been you, it will always be you.
Buffy you changed me in ways that I will never be able to thank you for, I did not want you to spite Angel, and I wanted you for the man you showed me I could be. The man I wanted, and needed to be. You gave me a second chance at life, a second chance to do the right thing, and make up for what was done to me. You know the truth of what I was before I was bitten. I was a loser, a git, a piss-on. I was filled with love, passion for life, a not so very good poet. The world I lived in mocked me, the woman I loved I hated me, but you should me love respect, dignity, after the hate, disgust, the utter desire to kill me. However, you for some reason could not bring yourself to kill me, no matter how much as I deserved it Buffy; you could never bring yourself to kill me. You saw something inside me, which I had been trying to burry since I was turned by Drew. You saved me, without having a reason to, I did nothing but cause you trouble since the moment I met you, until...well until I saw that you were the one who could bring out the man in me I used to be, and I wanted that more than anything. I went about it the wrong way, and hurt you more than I can ever forgive myself for, but no matter what you still stuck by my side. I do not care if it was for pity, or your love for lost causes, but you stayed by my side. Therefore, I tried to do everything, albeit most times in the wrong way, to do anything and everything I could to protect you and Dawn, and now Lucian.
That boy means just as much to me, as the rest of you Summers, you Summers have a power over me I'll never understand, and don't ever want to, because it's given me the chance to make up as best as I can, to make up for all the wrong I've ever done.
Angelus and Darla, they kept their secrets, maybe Drew knew what they were up too, but I, I had a one-track mind, and that was to find a Slayer to fight and kill, that was all that mattered to me, well that parties, and shagging.
The point is, I love you Buffy, as the best friend, I never knew I could ever have or want, and I love your sister, cause I've watched her grow into a beautiful young woman, and Lucian, he means everything to me. You asked me to watch over him, train him, and protect him. I have failed. However, I swear to you, with my very last unneeded breath, I will do everything, and anything, go to hell and back, to get Lucian back here were he belongs, safe with his mother, and his family.
I will try to think of anything I can, and my next step is to find Drusilla and find out what she knows. Even if I have to kill her to find out, I swear to you Buffy we will get him back, and I promise you, I will do it without killing Angel. Just to prove that I want you to be happy, in every way, with your son back, and your...well...Angel back...You really are everything to me Buffy, and I know not in that way, and I know it was never in that way, I now understand what you were trying to make me understand all those years. Sorry, I'm emotional, and I had to get this off my chest, and I needed you to know..." Spike rambled uncontrollably.
He wondered to himself, did he say what he said for her benefit, for his benefit, or for the confusing feelings, he was having for Lucian.
He knew it could never be, he was a rebel without a cause. Sure he was fighting the good fight, but that didn't change the fact although his Angelus and the unnamed foursome that lead to some very hot nights, of man to man sex, that blew his mind away, and gave Angelus a run for his money. However, never for a second did he think of himself gay, nor did he have a desire to find out. That was until the newest of the Summers clan appeared, throwing Spike for a loop.
Spike remembered Lucian's words, as if he just spoke them. "I can have anyone I want, even you Spike. I could ride you at a gallop, until you're legs buckled, and you're eyes rolled up into the back of your head. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of, I could squeeze you till you pop like warm champagne, and have you begging me to hurt you just a little bit more...the explosion would be mind blowing, leaving you weak, and yet begging for more...That's the kind of fire I have..." Lucian said in the most seductive voice ever.
Spike's cock began to lengthen in his tight jeans; he quickly put his hands in his pockets, hoping no one would notice. What was this kid doing to him? But most importantly, the old Spike would be the first to see, want, take...No questions asked...But that's not him anymore, sure he's still a bad boy, working to do good things, not for redemption like Angel, but merely because he wanted to be a better person, no more, no less.
However, the million-dollar question is, does Spike want Lucian for Lucian, or does he want Lucian, to take the place of Buffy. The one who got away, the girl that changed his world. Made him want to change whom he was, and become the kind of man that she could respect. Who could hold his head, with pride, and dignity.
Spike never thought of himself as gay, nor did he think about himself being straight. He simply thought of himself as a sexual creature, one who was into sexual adventures. Someone filled with passion, someone who did want love, who knew how to love one person, and only one person at a time. He always went about things the wrong way, Drusilla messed him up in so many ways, showing him that love was pain.
She messed him up so bad, that when Buffy, (of course being hurt herself at the time. Being messed up, with being ripped out of heaven the way she was. Used Spike, used his love for her to get what she thought she needed at the time. She did seek forgiveness, and she did truly come to love Spike, not in the same way as he did her, but nonetheless it was a love, the love of friendship.) However, Drusilla messed him up so bad, he thought hurting Buffy, was showing her love, that forcing her, almost raping her was showing her love. He learned the most important lesson of his life, and that moment, that single horrible act, forever changed his life. He was a new man, in the important ways that counted, in ways of love, honor and respect.
That was one of the hardest parts of this, his and Angel's "Friendship" was as good as it ever was going to be, while Buffy and Spike were closer than he ever thought they would ever be.
Lucian was having an effect of Spike, which was confusing him, in so many different ways. Spike was used to chasing his tail trying to force someone to love him, force someone to feel for him what his, whether or not anyone believed it, what his huge heart felt for them. His heart may not beat, but he was so full of love, so filled with passion, he wanted to finally find someone to give himself too completely, to have someone want to give themselves to him.
Lucian treats Spike with respect, with dignity, with honor, with lust. Lucian looks at Spike with eyes filled with love, filled with longing, filled with need, and desire. Lucian wants Spike, not just Spike's unbelievably sexy body, not for his stunning blue eyes, or sexy accent, not even his great sense of style. Lucian wants Spike to love him, because Lucian is in love with Spike. Spike knows this; he knows that Lucian feels the strong connection between them. Lucian makes Spike laugh, in a way no one has ever. Lucian never looks at Spike as pathetic, he looks at Spike like a man, a man he respects, counts on, trusts. He does not see him for who he was, but for what he was now.
To Spike this was priceless, this is all Spike has wanted since he was born, before he even became a Vampire.
However, it takes us back to the original problem, what would Buffy and Angel do to him, if anything were to happen between Lucian and Spike? Buffy would be sure to stake him, while Angel would tare him to shreds. Spike could not blame them, he was their newly found son, a son in more danger than either of them had ever faced. Lucian has led a horrific life, of abuse, and pain. Buffy and Angel would never see anything but Spike hurting Lucian, with no good ever coming of it.
Spike had no choice, he could not, does not want to lose Buffy's friendship, nor whatever you would call his and Angel's compromising.
Spike finally found the one that could truly bring the happiness he had been searching for his whole life, yet he was so far away from ever being able to have it, and now more than ever did he think it would be impossible to have anything together.
Not only did Spike fear for Lucian right now, his heart was breaking at the loss of what could never be.
"Spike? Hello, are you listening?" Buffy asked a dazed looking Spike.
"What, I'm sorry...I was...thinking of Lucian...I mean wondering where Angel would take him, or wants to use him for." Spike said clearing his throat.
"It's okay William, I understand just how much you care for us Summers, and I know how fond of Lucian you are, how fond he's become of you. Spike whether anyone understands it or not, I trust you, with my life, with my sister's life, and now with my only child. William, you have become the man you have fought to become, and been through so much to reach this point. So no matter what anyone thinks of you, I know you, and I love the man you are now. I love the man you have become, the way you have fought to change yourself. Spike you know me in a way, no one else ever has, nor will anyone ever know me. I will always cherish that, and respect you for that. Some people might call me crazy, but I understand you, and I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago. We are connected in a way, that can never be broken, and I do not ever want it to be broken. I call you William for a reason, because I have respect for you, because I know the man you are.
You risked your life repeatedly, to save my sister, to save me, to save my son. You even had a relationship with my mother, and she saw you for the man you are, before I ever did. I trust my mother's judgment more than I trust my own.
You went to hell and back, to get your soul, and when you realized you still could not be with me, soul, or no soul, you still choose to be the kind of man I could respect, who could respect his self.
William, facing Drusilla is not going to be easy, she is going to try to kill you, and I have no idea what you would want to do after seeing her. It will not be easy, you might be killed, I will not ask you to do it, but I know you have made up your mind to do it.
William, please watch your back, take anyone you need, a Slayer to have your back. Most of all be careful, I still need you, and Lucian needs you more than ever.
William, help bring my son home, please help bring him home, and do it without killing Angel, because we can still save him, and I want to save him. I know it is a sore subject, but I love Angel, I always have, and always will. So please, help me bring my family back together." Buffy said in tears, Spike held her tightly, telling her it would all be okay. He let go, and looked into her eyes, intently.
"Buffy, we will find him, if I have to kill every Demon on earth, I will find him. I will give you all of me, my life, and my soul, to bring that special Summers boy home. You have brought out a better me; he has taken it to the next level. I need him too, just as much as I need any of you too, I need him too. I better be going, and since Wesley will be studying, I will take Illyria with me, between both of our powers, we can find answers out quicker, than taken a Slayer. If that's alright with you two love birds?" Spike said.
"Thanks William, I love you, I truly do." Buffy said hugging him again.
"Why does the blond one, continue you to call us love birds, Wesley? Neither of us has wings, nor feathers, nor beaks. I do not understand, but I do know that it causes heat to rise in my face. I feel little prickles of heat, radiating off my cheeks. I do not understand these sensations, will you tell me?" Illyria asked Wesley confused.
Wesley turned red, with anger, frustration, and confusion.
"Spike tends to open his mouth without thinking, sometimes when people see a man and a woman, or in your case a Goddess, together so much, they awesome they are having a romantic relationship. That is why he said lovers, when referring to us. Just ignore him, I do." Wesley said, adjusting his collar.
"So are you saying you do not feel anything for me, am I ugly to your eyes? Does my presence bring nothing but pain, and suffering to you? Tell me Wesley, I must know, I need to know. For I am unused to the human emotions that are soaring through my body, that are coursing through my veins. You confuse me; by the way, you pull me in, but push me away all at the same time. I need to know, you must tell me the truth?" Illyria asked, her emotions, emotions she is not used to having, confusing her.
"Illyria...this is not the time, or the place. We have a lot to talk about, we have been through a lot, and we have shared a lot. I have confusing emotions when it comes to you, and coming back from the dead, has given me much to think about. It is hard knowing that Fred is dead, yet you are in her body. However, when I died in your arms, and I saw your face, and the tears you cried over me, something changed something that I can hardly explain. But I've kept you at arms length since I've returned, because I'm scared, scared of what it means, scared of how we...forget it, like I said, we have much to talk about, but right now, our first priority is saving Lucian, and turning Angelus, back into Angel. Please, forgive me, forgive me for being scared, forgive me for wasting time, for I know better than most how quickly one second your alive, then the next I was dead. You ran as fast as you could, to reach me before I was killed, you came because whether or not you want to admit it, and you have human emotions. You were worried about me, you wanted me safe, and you wanted to help me. I will never forget that, and I want to talk more about it, I am finally ready to talk more. Please Illyria, after we help Lucian, and Angel, we'll take sometime to talk, and work out what's happening between us." Wesley said, putting his hands on each side of Illyria's shoulders, and staring deeply into her eyes.
"Yes, you will talk when the mission is complete. That is what I prefer, no more games, I expect the truth Wesley." Illyria said, trying to regain composure.
"I need to go to my room, I want to pick up a few extra weapons, be ready in five Illyria." Spike said, taking off running to his room.
Spike arrived in his room, searching for his Dacra, a round knife, which opens into the form of a Triquetra, with sharp points on three ends, which could slice through virtually anything, from wood, metal, bone, and return to Spike like a Boomerang would return.
As he found it in the drawer next to his bed, as he was kneeling there, he noticed a letter sitting on his bed pillow. Picking it up, he could smell Lucian's scent all over the envelope. He could smell Lucian's blood, but noticed none on the envelop. Growing hungry, his craving for blood almost overwhelming him. He slowly opened up the envelope, if he had a heart, it would be pounding in his chest.
Unfolding the letter, the smell of the blood became stronger; he noticed at the bottom of the letter, it was signed Lucian Summers, written in his own blood.
Spike began to read...
My dearest Spike,
A lot has happened since I have come to learn who I really am, who my parents are, and what our role in this world. I have not been the easiest person to get along with, while dealing with the truth, of what my life is truly about. I have given my parents a hard time, as well as all their friends, and anyone having to do with them. Therefore, while I was being an ass, and being a typical teenage brat, there was something I was not prepared for, that would be you. You came into my life, like a storm out of hell, throwing me for a loop I was not ready for. You did not take any crap from me; you gave me back ten fold, anything I shot at you. That only gave me more respect for you, but it did even more than that, a whole lot more. You awoken sensations in me, I never knew I would ever know. You have opened up my heart, my soul, my mind, my emotions, even my sexual nature. I have closed out any chance at love, or any other kind of relationship that would ever try to enter into my life. I closed myself off to any kind of human emotion, because I was afraid of the pain that other humans could cause me. I spent all my life being abused, being beaten, tortured, made fun of, and all kinds of physical, mental, and emotional abuse.
Then you came into my life, you opened up my eyes to a completely new world. A world that I was never familiar with, nor did I ever think I would open myself up to this world. You came into my life like a whirlwind, treating me with respect, dignity, playfulness and so on. You taught me how to smile, how to laugh, a laugh I never knew existed inside me. For I had never heard myself laugh before.
You made me strong, when I have only ever thought of myself as weak, weak and unloved. I am writing you this letter, not because I think I stand a chance in hell with being with someone like you, hell you are not even gay. I write you this letter...well, because things keep getting more and more complicated, scarier, and I can't help but wondering if I might die before I even reach my 18th birthday. For that reason alone, I wanted you to know what you meant to me, how much you mean to me, how much you have given me, shown me, taught me.
Although, it is a one-way love, which is usually the way it goes. One person is head over heals, with the one that would not even look twice at the other. Nonetheless, I am okay with that, because what you mean to me is so far beyond special, so far beyond words, it surpasses time and space. In addition, well, I am so grateful for the opportunity to have felt all the emotions, all the beauty, all the feelings you have offered me, probably without even realizing it.
You are an enigma to me, a wonderful enigma that leaves me wondering, thinking, confused, flushed, overwhelmed, happy, but most of all human. I have never been able to feel the things you have made me feel; you have made me feel whole, in a way that fills my very soul. I have been feeling empty my whole life, lost, lonely, scared, alone. I have even cried myself to sleep many nights, wishing for nothing more than to never wake up.
Being awake meant pain, it meant suffering, it meant heartache. However, meeting you, knowing you, having you in my life has given me meaning where there has been none, life, where there has only been death, life, where there has only been emptiness. For that, I can never thank you enough, I can never tell you, show you, return to you, anything to repay you for what you have done with me, or for me.
My point is, you mean everything to me, in a way I can never express, and I will never expect anything in return from you, I just needed you to know.
I Love you Spike, in a way I have never loved anyone before, so much so it scares me, scares me to the very depths of my soul. I want to give myself to you completely, mentally, emotionally, physically, but I know you could never return those same things to me. Please know I am not mad, for we are what we are, and can be no less that that we are.
I Love you for all the things you are, not for what I wish you to be. You were once an innocent man, with passion, heart, and so much more, but that was taken away. Leaving you as William the Bloody, becoming soulless, empty, with the only desire in you being that of causing torture, pain, and the essence off life, blood. You became a monster, not by choice, but because your humanity was taken away, ripped out of you, leaving only the animalistic beast, the Vampire you became.
However, after over hundreds of years, you fought that rage inside, at first thinking it simply to please a woman, to have a woman, to deserve the only woman that gave you something beautiful, Respect. You were in such need for human emotion, in such need for the pain to go away, that when Buffy offered you a semblance of humanity, but being tainted, jaded, you went about it in all the wrong ways. I do not blame you, you knew no better, you did what you did because you were empty, searching, and you latched onto the first hand that was held out to you.
I understand, and hold no ill feelings towards you, no; I completely understand that need, I need it myself. Finding out that Buffy merely respected you, merely cared for you, and saw you as the man she knew you could one day be, you still fought, you still struggled to become the man you are now.
You could have easily gone back to what you were, the monster you were, but you chose to fight, to become a better man. That is why I have such high respect for you, which is why I have such a strong feeling of love for you. That in spite of everything, every setback, every loss you faced, and never getting what you were fighting for, you never gave up trying to be a better man. You were willing to die, to end the HELLMOUTH. For nothing more, than it was the right thing to do, and I respect you for that. You have inspired me to face my demons, to face my destiny, to face the darkness ahead of me, behind me, inside me. You have given me nothing but a standard to which I wish to arise too, and though I do not believe I will make it out of this alive, I could not bare to know that I never said anything to you. That I died without you knowing the truth, the truth of what I thought of you, the respect I have for you, and most of all the love I have for you.
I never knew the true meaning of love, I never knew what love would, or could ever feel like. However, knowing you, gosh, knowing you has shown me, has allowed me to feel what true love really is, what true love really means. You are the first, and you will be the last, the always and the forever.
I know you do not feel the same, and I do not expect you too. I just needed you to know how I felt, and what you have done for me. Please, take care of my mother, and although you do not like my father, please watch out for them both. Help them to find happiness together. Help them to find the way to break the curse, that's all I could ever ask of you, especially since I have no right to ask anything of you, you've done enough already.
I love you William, I love you more than life itself. Thank you for being the sun that rises in the east, lighting up my world for me. Thank you for being a warm summer breeze, embracing me in the shelter of your arms. A forest of trees, giving me the strength to move mountains. A running river, which has allowed my love to run freely. Like floodgates, opening and everything pouring out of me.
I love you; I love you more than words could ever truly express, or than you would ever have allowed me to show you.
Please take care of yourself, stay true to yourself, and continue this fight of being the man I know and love, and reach levels even you never thought possible...
Thank you Spike, for giving meaning to my life, and filling me with love...
Yours, always and forever,
Lucian Angelus Summers
Spike did something he had not done in so long, even he could hardly remember. He began crying, the tears flowing in a way that caused Spike's body to tremble uncontrollably. He fell to his knees, clutching the letter to his heart. Everything that he ever held in before was suddenly bubbling over the edge. His sobs turned to screaming sobs of pain, pain unlike anything he has ever felt before, unlike anything he ever thought he could feel in his life.
Drusilla turned his world upside down, but it was a world of pain, and darkness. Buffy gave him a newfound understanding of himself, a new struggle to become the kind of man she could love. However, deep down he knew she would never love him; there was only one man for her, Angel.
She crushed him, crushed him in a way that nearly broke him, but gave him something far more important that anything he could have ever hoped for, Respect and most importantly, a Soul.
Lucian, Lucian has changed everything, he is different from Drusilla, and Buffy, where they could never truly love him, nor did he even understand how to love them. Lucian, Lucian has shown him the meaning of true love, the meaning of two people wanting to come together, for the right reason.
No matter how hard Spike tried to be a badass in front of Lucian, the way he is in front of everyone else, Lucian saw through it, Lucian found it endearing, even laughable.
No matter how much Spike pushed Lucian away, trying to keep him from falling for an unattainable person, Lucian still continued to push every button Spike has, and most of the time it worked. The only thing that saved Spike was that someone always found a way of walking in, and saving him by the bell.
As confused as Spike was, as scared as he was, as many obstacles as there were between them, Spike did not know if he could be with another man that way. Even if he could, how could he allow Lucian to be with someone as Horrible as Spike, with everything he's done, all the people he's killed, as many times as he's tried to kill Angel, Buffy, even almost raping Buffy. How could Lucian ever be with someone as Dark, and dirty, as monstrous as Spike has been.
Illyria came walking through the door, Buffy right on her heals.
They stopped dead in their tracks, seeing Spike on his knees crying, holding a letter to his heart.
"Spike, what is it, what's wrong?" Buffy asked frantically.
Spike rose to his feet, turning away from them and shoving the letter in his pocket, and wiping his tears away as quickly as possible, trying to regain composure.
"Nothing, I found my Dacra, let's go." Spike answered his voice hoarse from sobbing.
"Spike I know you, and I know something is wrong. Please tell me what has happened, what was that letter you are trying to hide? Is it from Lucian, Angelus, what is it, what's going on, talk to me Spike?" Buffy begged.
"Buffy, please, it's nothing; it's something personal, something private. The most important thing right now, is that we do not waste anymore time, that we find Drusilla. She may have answers, and we're not going to find them out standing here arguing." Spike said, walking towards the door.
"You reek of emotions, of pain and sorrow. You feel loss, guilty, confused. Why do you feel these things, I must understand these human emotions." Illyria asked.
"Now I know how Lucian feels, that can be quite annoying Illyria, truly. Ugh, Woman, look, Buffy means the world to me, and I would do anything for her, anything. Angel, well, Angel and I have a sorted past, filled with anger, fighting, and learning to work together. They have a son, and Buffy trusted her son to me, to teach, to protect, to help easy his way into his new families life, and learn the way of fighting the war his parents have been fighting all their lives. I feel guilty because, well because I feel like I did not train him hard enough. I did not give him the right preparation to fight the battles we were not expecting, ones that come from us, from his own family, and the friends of his parents. I should have covered all bases; I should not have left anything out. I failed Lucian, in everyway, I failed him in more ways than I could ever explain, or you could ever understand. I don't want to waste any more time talking about my feelings, or anything else, I think it's time we leave to find Drusilla, don't you think?" Spike said averting his eyes.
"Your right, please speak, finding out what you can. I can't imagine, nor do I want to imagine, what Angel, I mean Angelus is doing with Lucian." Buffy spoke in barley a whisper.
Spike walked over to her, and embraced her in a hug.
"Don't worry Buffy, we've been through a lot, and we've always made it through. We will find him, I know Angelus, and he will bide his time with Lucian, to cause you suffering, to play with you, before he will actually do anything to truly hurt the only Ace up his sleeve. As scary as that sounds, it is what will work in our favor. We will get him back Buffy, I swear on the very soul I went to hell and back to find, we will bring him back." a tear ran down Spike's cheek as he kissed Buffy on her forehead and headed for the door, with Illyria on his heels.
"Even when I thought you were a monster, even when I didn't trust you, ever when I hated you, I always knew that when it came down to protecting someone in my family, I could always count on you Spike. William, as long as I live and breathe, I will never have more faith or trust, for my family, then I do knowing you are trying to protect them. You will never believe me, but I told you I loved you the day we destroyed the Hellmouth, because I know the man you are, and know your heart and soul. When I said those words, I meant them with every fiber of my being. I need you to know, though I know you, and know you'll never believe me, but I respect you, and love you, more than words could ever say." Buffy said, tears streaming down her face. Spike looked back, giving her a half smile, while his eyes said all things unspoken. Then turned around and left, Illyria beside him.
I awoke with a start, cold, and sweat covering the whole of my body. I was in a bed, my head spinning, as if I had been drinking all-night long. The room was completely dark, if not for the full moon outside; I would not have the moonlight shinning slightly through the window shade.
Trying desperately to clear the cobwebs from my head, trying to remember how I came to be here. The horror of what had happened came slamming through my mind, in a single torrent. My heart pounding in my chest, my stomach queasy with the thoughts of what took place.
My mouth was dry, my tongue feeling like sandpaper. I needed water, needed it bad. Trying to regain control of myself, forcing myself to sit up my legs felt like dead weight. I fought desperately against the weight pressing down on me, keeping me from moving. Finally, after much effort, I was able to move my legs off the bed. They landed on the ground with a thud, the noise was deafening in the silence of the room. I pushed with all my might, trying to sit up. If Angelus had left me alone, I am sure it would not be for a long time, he would be sure to be back at any moment. I needed to escape right now, if I could just force myself to take control of my body.
I saw a cup of water on the side of the bed, nervously I brought it up to my face, smelling for anything, not sure what poison would smell like, but I desperately needed something to drink.
I gulped the water down as fast as I could; water running down the corners of my mouth and onto my shirt. I could have drunk a gallon more, but that would have to do. I forced myself up, trying desperately to stand on my own two feet, as wobbly as my legs were; I balanced myself. Putting one foot in front of the other, I made my long and torturous journey to the door. Turning the doorknob, I found myself locked in. Which under normal circumstances wouldn't have been a big deal, but in the weaken state I was in, I was really going to have to work to get out.
I moved back, and trying to lift my right leg up, I kicked the door as hard as I could, nothing happened. I had not mustered enough strength; I needed to focus.
I tried to clear my mind of the pain I was in, trying to feel as if my body was light as a feather. Time was of the essence, I had no idea when father dearest would return, I could not afford to waste time.
With as powerful a kick I could muster, I kicked the door out, sending it flying off its hinges.
I leaned against the doorframe, catching my breath. Looking around, I realized I was in a musty old home, cobwebs everywhere, rotted wooden table and chairs sat in what once was a dinning room. Furniture looking to be out of the 1800's filled the room, broken down, dirtied with dust.
Where am I?
I moved ever so slowly, my body trying to regain its strength. As I tried making it towards the door in the front of the room, I could not help notice old painted portraits half hanging on the walls. Stopping in front of them on my way towards the door, I noticed the picture frame in the middle was a family portrait. Taking a good look, I could not believe my eyes. There standing behind his parents, stood Angel, looking the same as he looked today, minus the old clothes. Not only were his parents sitting in chairs in front of him, sitting on his fathers lap was a little blond haired girl. I gasped noticing just how much she looked like Angel, could this be my grandparents, my aunt, and my father from before he became a vampire?
The craziness of it all overwhelmed me; this was not something one could truly ever get used too. Angel, once a real live person, with a mother and father, a sister, all so...so beautiful. A tear formed in my eye, as I realized this was my family, a family I would never know. A family that lived hundreds of years ago, long since dead and buried.
How many people has my father lost? How many loved ones has he had to bury? I never truly understood the meaning of a tortured soul, doomed to be alive for eternity, watching everyone you come to love, die. No wonder he was always brooding, no wonder he was so concerned for Conner and I, for Buffy. He has spent his life losing everyone he ever loved, how do you live with that how do you go on?
I had never felt sorrier for anyone, not even myself, than I did for my father in this very moment. I thought I hated my life; I hate my parent's life more. My mother living in fear of dying before she ever reached the age of 25, while my father outliving everyone he held dear.
I realized I was crying, and reprimanded myself, I was in trouble, this was not a time for this, and I need to escape. I realized I must be in Ireland, at the house my father grew up in; it is hard to believe he still owned it. However, not at all surprising that he never came here, even if he did own it, the pain must be too much.
I made it to the front door, turning the handle the door opened, my heart jumped for joy at luck finally finding me. He must not have thought I could get out of the bedroom, and left the front door unlocked.
I pulled the door open, and my heart stopped, I fell backward on my backside.
"Lucian, daddies' home!" Angelus said in his best Jack Nicholson impersonation.
I pushed with my legs, trying frantically to push back and away from him. Laughingly, he walked in and closed the door, paying me no mind. As if to say, ha...ha...ha, escape is impossible, try as you might, you are not going anywhere.
I was his captive.
There was no hope.
"I brought you some food, growing boy and all; you need to keep up your strength. So what do you think of the place, did you have a good look around?" he asked, talking to me as if we were old friends.
"Let me go please, you obviously seem to not want to kill me. You would have done so already if you were going to kill me, so please, let me go." I begged.
He walked toward me, resting his legs on opposite sides of my body, he grabbed me by my collar, lifting me up part way, and back handed me so hard, I could hear a ringing in my ear. I felt blood dripping down the corner of my mouth. I groaned, as he pushed me back hard against the floor, knocking the wind right out of me.
"Now Son, I asked you a question, politely I might add, answer the question." he demanded, while still standing over me, glaring down at me.
"I haven't been able to see much, but what I did see was very...intriguing." I said, through gritted teeth, while wiping the blood off the side of my mouth.
"Now see, that wasn't so hard, was it? The place is a dump, but it used to be Angel's home. Since I had some business to take of here, I thought what better place to show you were your father came from. Where he grew up, giving you a little history lesson on the man you call dad. So you can chose for yourself, who you would want more to be your father, Angel, or me." he looked like the cat that swallowed the canary as he spoke. A chill ran down my spine at what he could mean, what he was about to let me know about my real father. I knew enough to know that Angel was not the greatest person in the world, before he was cursed with the return of his soul. However, it seemed Angelus planned on sharing information on Angel. Information I really did not want to know. However, one thing I was sure of, Angel is the one I want to call dad, it would never be Angelus, I would rather die. However, I kept quiet, fearing what he would do next if I spoke.
"Curious yet, or are you going to be a big baby, crying because I slapped you?" he asked, pulling food out of a brown sack and setting it on the dirty table. At this point, the only thing I could do was play along, appease him, rather than incur his wrath. He seemed to be so violent, losing his temper easily, I do not know if that was his way, or just the fact that I was his, or Angel's son, that brought on his anger.
"Those pictures on the wall, is that Ang...my Grandparents, and aunt?" I asked. I figured it best not to differentiate Angel and him.
"I was hoping you noticed those pictures, don't they look like the picture perfect family. Rich, happy, two good looking children, wouldn't you say?" he asked coyly, he was baiting me, I felt like I was standing over a trapdoor, and he was waiting for me to fall through.
"Yes they do, but looks can be deceiving. There is an evil in grandfather's eyes, looks of pain in grandmothers, while Ange...I mean you look sort of drunk, and your sister looks scared out of her mind sitting on grandfather's lap." I answered, tentatively. I kicked myself, trying to remember not to separate Angel from Angelus.
"Very perceptive, you truly are my son. To be able to read that all from a picture, shows me you really do have my brain, not the brainless blond you call mom..." he started.
I opened my mouth to defend my mother, but than caught myself just before I incurred his wrath. Things were still going calmly; I wanted to keep it that way, until I regained my strength enough, to escape him.
"See, father was a Religious man, preaching the word of God every chance he could get. Rich beyond belief, with more servants that needed for a family of four. However, he had his reasons for that, father has a problem, a sick, sick, sick, problem, he loved sex, nasty, dirty, raunchy, kinky, painful, sex. The more servants that worked for him, the more pleasure he sought. Will get to the other part of that later, were father is concerned there is much to explain, or rather to show." he said with an evil grin forming on his face. My heart pounded in my chest, my mind raced trying to figure out a way out this. I had no idea what he had in store for me, but I did not like the devilish look in his eyes.
Please, Mom, Spike, if you are going to do anything to save me, now would be the time.
All right, think Lucian, think...
Okay, keep him talking, the longer he rambles, he must really love the sound of his own voice. As Angel, he really is not much of a talker, but now that I think about it, I do not know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
"Why don't you eat up, while I talk? I killed a great chef, after he made that delicious food. He was actually quite tasty himself, like a sweet onion soup. Now start eating or I'll force it down your throat." he ordered.
Knowing what he did to get the soup that he actually killed a man, made me want to throw up. I had to hold back the bile the rose in my throat, to force myself to eat. I needed to buy as much time as possible, to either regain my full power, or wait for the Scooby gang to come to the rescue.
"Thanks, I am really hungry now that you've mentioned it. So you were saying?" I tried not to give away the sick feeling in my face, wearing an expressionless mask.
"The beginning is usually the best place to start, so we'll start there. Ireland has changed in the last few hundred years, more people, more laws, more blood. I had better stop that, before I want to get a taste of my son.
Anyway, you would think growing up in a rich family, would make one happy. Not where my father was concerned, he could never have too much money, too many women, and never enough of his only son..." he began.
I almost spit up my food, hearing the last words he spoke. Could he really be saying what I thought he said?
Dysfunctional family much!
"See, mother was a quite woman, beautiful, smart, charming, daughter of royalty. So she was forced to marry a bastard, to bring two prominent families together. I remember her so fondly; she was so full of life, laughter, her hair, much like yours in color, long thick blond wavy hair. She was beautiful in everyway that counts, inside, and out, you remind me of her so much. Her full pouty lips, shaped like a bow, just like yours.
She used to show me so much love, hugging, and kissing, and loving me, as if I was the most important person in the world to her. She would tell me I was going to grow up and change the world that I would surpass anything my father could ever dream to be. Was right in one way, I surpassed my father in so many ways.
See he would beat her silly on a daily basis, sometimes for smiling too much, for loving me to much, for babying me to much. Most times for the way she lit up every room when she walked in, everyman envied him, they wanted her, and they lusted for. They saw the pain she was in being with father; they wanted to rescue her, to give her the life she deserved.
Hell, they even treated my sister and me, as if we were their own. Bringing us gifts, talking to us, treating us with love and respect. Only that enraged father even more, enraged him so much that as soon as he got us home alone, he began his beating on mother. He would be so drunk, calling her slut, a whore, telling her, she was a bitch that he would treat her like the bitch she was. That is when he would start beating her to bloody pulp, after the first hit, no matter how hard he hit her, no matter how much pain she was in. She would rush and put me in the closet, my sister was a baby at the time, and it was not until later when she was a little older that he started in on her too.
See, when Angel was about 12, there was a big gala held in honor of his bastard father. He was loved by the town, being that he owned most of the town, and made many men very, very rich. He had beaten Angel's mother badly the night before, so she had to cake on the make-up to cover the bruises on her face. After all that, she still looked as stunning as ever.
The men were drooling over her, complementing her, asking her to dance. Angel's father was so drunk, he told her to go ahead. One after the other, she dance and laughed, and looked like the bell of the ball. I watched in awe, in awe of her beauty, the way she moved, the musical sound of her sweet laugh. It was the first time in all Angel's life, that he saw his mother looking like an Angel, floating on wings. The first time she looked completely free, free of the abuse, free of the evil of her husband. She would constantly look over at Angel and smile her special smile, which she only ever gave to him. It filled his heart, with happiness, peace, hope, but that was soon to explode in a horrible way. Far worse than any nightmare, he had ever had in his entire life.
His father was so angry, his mother was a prized possession, he had no love for her, and she was merely his property, nothing more. There was nothing worse to that bastard, than to see someone coveting anything that belonged to him. Well, his mom, he and now his sister all belonged to him, his property to do with as pleased, when he pleased, how he pleased.
That night, the party was unlike any party they had ever thrown. The who's who, the top dogs, every city official, every important, beyond rich, beyond the law was there.
One man in particular, the richest of the rich, the man who put Angel's father where he was, giving him all the power, to control everyones lives, to allow him the power to protect him from anything shady the he might do, like having people killed, rape, amongst many more gruesome things.
He was a much-desired bachlor, women threw themselves at him, Politian's offered their daughters to him, and I mean beautiful woman, woman men would cut off their right arm for.
However, Sebastiaan, that was his name had a secret, a secret Angel's father found out about. Therefore, Sebatiaan had only one choice, being desperate to not have his secret come out, he had to do the only thing he could do to regain control.
He found out everything he could on Angel's father, starting with all the servants, he was having an affair with, and the ones that would not give in, he would wind up raping them. Sebastiaan wanted every piece of dirt he could get on Angel's father he could.
Well, Angel's father happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Sebastiaan's men found him in a brawthal, but not just any brawthal, see this brawthal catering to rich men with special fetishes. Fetishes, beyond spankings, whips, ropes, nipple clamps and so much more. No, the good religious father was into none other than raping young boys.
That is right; he enjoyed toturing young boys, in ways that made them scream until they lost their voices, cry until there were no more tears left to cry. He would brutilize their bodies, raping their holes until they would bleed, leaving their holes gaping open. Whipping their backs, with a whip that had a metal bolt tied to the ends. Their backs left with welts, bleeding perfusely, brusied and battered, until they completely submitted to his will. However, he longed for the screams of agony, the pleasure of the begging. That turned him on the most, the way I see it, he was tired of beating his wife, and hearing no sounds come from her, no pleasure it for him. He needed another outlet, another way to fulfill this sexual desire, his dominance over another, which was what he truly lusted for. The only time he could get his wife to beg, or scream, would be in defense of Angel, for protecting him from his father's wrath.
So as I was saying, Sebastian found him in one of the worse acts possible, not only had he savagely abused this boy, raping both his holes, whipping the boy in such a gruesome fashion, that he had gotten so carried away, that when he began the whipping, he was calling out Angel's name. Telling him what a pathetic little mommas boy he was, how he would never become a man, always hiding behind his mother's skirt.
How she was not there now to protect him, and he was going to make him a man even if it killed him. His eyes were gone, fixed in the heat of overwhelming lust, for the anger he had for Angel. Sebastian's men watched from the doorway, Angel's father was so caught up in what he was doing, the world could have been watching and he wouldn't have noticed.
He used his extremely large manhood, which runs in the family by the way; hope it did not skip a generation with you. Ha, ha, ha..." he teased.
I was about to open my mouth, but once again thought better of doing so. Eating was building my strength; I was starting to feel stronger. I just needed to buy more time, let him keep talking, so I could regain as much of my powers as possible.
"It didn't skip a generation, you'll be pleased to know Conner and I both take after you." I wanted to kick myself in my ass that was way too much information.
"Really, and just how do you know how big Conner's magic stick is?" he asked, with total excitement.
"You remember, well Angel remembers, a while back, Conner was trying to kill me. At the same time Demons were after us, we were soaked, bleeding, and dirty. We were forced to take a shower, it was no big deal. Times have changed since you were in high school, in these days guys take showers together all the time. Don't make something out nothing, but while were on the subject, what's the story between Spike and you?" I asked, the curiosity eating away at me for so long now.
"I know how much you're dying to know about that secret, but you going to have to wait just a little bit longer. I'm still not done with our little family history, so let's get back to that, shall we?" he asked, determined to finish telling our horrible family history.
"If you really need to continue with your therapy, then go ahead, get it all off your chest." before I had a chance to blink, he backhanded me so hard, I actually flew off my chair landing on my back with a thud. I grunted with the pain in my back, but bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from showing any more weakness.
"Next time you decide to get flippant, I'll do a lot more than backhand you. Understand me boy?" he asked.
"Yes sir, I'm sorry sir, please continue with the family history." I tried to sound as respectful as possible.
"Now that's better, Son. Sir, I like the sound of that, I like it a lot. Now, where was I...ah...that's right, so he had beaten the boy to a bloody pulp, blood running down the welts in his back. The boy could barley see through his eyes, he had beaten the boys eyes shut. His entire face swollen, his mouth bleeding, his eyes bleeding and then some.
I myself would have done far worse, but the old man had no imagination if you ask me. So when of the men went to get Sebastian at once, as he arrived, Angel's father used a knife to slice off what was left of the kids clothes. He flipped him over so his ass was hanging over the side of the bed, as he ripped through his jeans with the knife. The boy screamed as he cut through his skin, with the knife. Angel's father just laughed, the more pain he inflicted, the more pleasure he found.
The boy begged, sure it was more mumbles, but he begged nonetheless. The more he begged, and squirmed, the more pleasure Angel's father found. He took is belt off and began beating the boys ass, until it was as red as a shinny new red fire truck. The boy continued to scream, until his voice had gone hoarse. Angel's father took off his trousers, revealing his large nine and half inch long, four and half inch width. One look and the boy began to pass out, but Angel's father was not having that. He grabbed a glass of water, and threw it on his face, shocking him awake. The boy gasped, and coughed, and moaned in pain.
Angel's father smacked his burning red ass a little more, before he spread them apart, spitting on his hole, getting it nice and wet. He began working his fingers in and out, first one, then another, and another. Until the boy was begging, and squirming, struggling to get out from under his touch.
Angel's father spat on his hand, moistened his cock, and in one quick motion, rammed his cock all the way into the boy's ass, down to the base. The boy yelped, grabbing fists full of the bed sheets. He struggled to pull away, to Angel's father's satisfaction. He punched him hard in the center of his back, causing the boy to arch his back, and push his ass further back onto Angel's father's cock.
Sebastian watched from the doorway, his own manhood growing with the sight before him. Not only from the act of sex, that was taking place before him, but also with the lust of knowing, he had Angel's father right where he wanted him.
Angel's father grabbed the back of the boys head, pulling his head back hard by his hair. Pulling him back hard, to meet his forward thrust. Ramming his cock in and out, and the whole time calling him Angel, telling him how this is what he should have been doing this to him long ago. How his mother has made him weak, pathetic, that he would never amount to anything in his life. Angel would ruin the family name, the name that has stood for centuries, as royalty, as strength, power, prestige. His mother ruined Angel, and his anger boiled over, taking over every part of him, he began pounding his cock in out of the boys aching hole. The boy crying, tears flowing freely, every thrust of his think long cock, tore the boy's hole apart. Angel's father kept him conscious, and now with his anger boiling over, he took out every bit of anger for Angel, out on the boy's ass. He pulled his hair so hard, yanking his head back, and started pounding his cock faster, deeper, harder than even he could have imagined. He moved his cock in and out, so hard; it was as if he would split the boy's body apart.
With a roar, louder than a grizzly bear, he began to call the boy Angel, and every name in the book, telling him everything he deserved, what a disgraced he is, and how maybe burying his seed deep down inside his hole, it might change Angel into the man he should be.
Finally letting out a throaty grunt, he began shooting his load deep into the boy, as he held his head back by the hair; he used the knife to slice his neck. The boy clenched his ass cheeks so hard around Angel's father's cock, milking him for every drop of one of the largest loads he had ever shot. He had never imagined his prey to be his son Angel, until that moment, so he had never experienced that kind of ecstasy before, that he felt higher than he had ever felt in his life.
Sebastian and his men left as quickly as they could, but not before making a noise, to be sure Angel's father knew he had been caught, just not knowing by who." he spoke gloating.
I was disgusted, disgusted to the point the I was fighting back every bit of bile, which was threatening to come up. Trying to keep a calm face, not to show him any fear, or anguish that I was feeling
"So what's the point of the story? To show me how you take after my bastard grandfather, instead of my sweet grandmother?" I asked sarcastically.
"I haven't finished the story yet, I've only just begun. Interrupt like that again, being a smartass, and I am going to show you how I tortured people, before high-tech tortured devices were created. This is the study of our family history, of who you are, where you come from, and what you have buried inside you. You will have a better understanding of who you are, and what you are capable of doing. I have been caged like a rat, inside Angel for a very long time now. I have managed to escape a few times, mostly due to mistakes on their parts.
However, this time, this time it was planned out a long time ago. I was shown the day in your bedroom, the conversation you would have with Buffy and I, and the effect it would have on Angel. I have been waiting patiently for you to arrive, we have much to do, together son, and we will do great things.
Now, back to the history listen, and no interruptions. Next time I will not be so gentle, if you know what I mean. Now this will be a conversation that needs to be demonstrated. Please, please, please, feel free to struggle and cry out, it will only make that much more exciting for me." he spoke with the wickedest grin on his face. His eyes hungry, like a wolf that had not eaten in weeks. My stomach began doing flips, and it was then that I realized how foolish I had been, eating his food. He could have put anything in my food; with all the time that has passed, I should have regained my strength, but nothing, if anything I was feeling worse.
I do not understand, absorbing the Orb should have given me more strength, my power, more abilities. If anything, although I do not exactly know what the powers I have are, or how they work. But I do remember when I first received the powers, I felt the strength searing through me, I felt this new power coursing through my veins, what was the point of gaining all these powers if I wasn't able to use them when I wanted them, when I needed them most?
"I know what you're thinking, what you wondering. Your wondering why your powers are not working? Why you're in such a weakened state, why I'm able to do this..." he lifted me up by the collar of my shirt, and through me hard against the wall, falling face first to the ground. My nose slamming hard, I could feel the blood running down my face. The pain searing through my skull, caused my head to begin spinning. He came over and kicked my hard in the ribs, flipping me in the air landing on the musty bed.
I wanted to vomit, my ribs felt like they were broken, and each breath I took, felt like a sharp saw cutting up and down my insides.
From the little I knew of Angelus, he was living up to his reputation. My heart was pounding in my chest; I had never felt more scared in my life. I was feeling two emotions at that moment, the first being please let someone come save me, or secondly please let him kill me before he does what I think he's about to do to me.
As I lay there on the bed, clutching my rips, Angelus hopped up on the bed, straddling my crotch. His ass rubbing back and forth, over my cock and balls. He leaved down folding his arms, and resting them on my chest as he stared into my wide with fear eyes.
"Now, back to the story. Therefore, the party continued, Angel's mother continued to be the bell of the ball, while the guests gushed over the handsome young man Angel was growing to be.
Sebastian saw Angel from across the room, as he saw Angel's father glowering over the men swooning over his wife, and pawning over his son, his two most coveted possessions.
Sebastian took the opportunity to make his move towards Angel, while making his move, he made sure to go unnoticed. He was not ready for Angel's dad to see him yet.
Therefore, he approached Angel, glaring at the men and woman standing around him. It only took one look for them to turn and leave the two of them alone.
Angel didn't mind the company, his mother was happy for a change, which in turn left him feeling like he was soaring on the clouds. Loving the good attention, he was getting, rather than the beatings he was used to receiving.
`Why aren't you just growing up into a fine handsome young man, you look more and more like your mother every day, which is lucky for you, your dad's not really a nice guy, nor very attractive. Wouldn't you agree, Angel?" Sebastian talked to him in the sweetest voice, running a hand down his face. Angel was so proud in that moment, proud that someone outside the family took notice how evil his father really was. Angel became all too eager to find a sympathetic ear, all too eager to trust a kind adult.
`So you see him for the monster he really is, Sebastian?' Angel asked him with eager eyes.
`Oh yes, I see him for the monster he is, for the pain he causes your beautiful mother. Mostly for the pain he causes you, I have seen the bruises on your face. The broken arms, missing school days, because he beat you so badly, you were in to much pain to go to school the next day. Why don't you come walk with me onto the terrace, we can talk more privately. I'd really like to be your friend, someone you can trust and go to, when your father does these terrible things to your mother and you.' He put his hand on Angel's back and gently ushered him onto the terrace, this time being sure Angel's father saw them leave together.
"Angelus, do you really have to tell me this? I don't like where this is going, please, do what you want with me, but don't finish this story." I begged. I knew what was coming, or at least I thought I knew where the story was going. I could not bare to hear it, if it is what I think, I would rather die than know that the same things that happened to me, happened to my father only worse.
He began slapping me, repeatedly, each time harder than the last. I was getting close to blacking out, I was welcoming it, hoping for it, begging, needing it, anything but having to hear what he had to say.
"I think you like being hit, I think you like that all your life, and you've had men abusing you. Mentally, physically, emotionally, it is no wonder you keep forcing me to beat you silly. Now, you will listen to this story, and you will hear it from beginning, to end.
Slowly Angel's father made his way over to the terrace, guests stopping him along the way. Nonetheless, his eyes never left the small view of the two of them standing there talking. Sebastian hugged Angel tightly to him, running his hand down the back of his head.
`I promise you Angel, from this moment forward I will be there for you. I will watch out for you, listen to you, help you in anyway I can. You must trust me, I will do anything I can to help you. Do we understand each other, Angel?'
`Why are you being so nice to me, why do you care?'
`Because Angel, I grew up with the same kind of father as yours. He did evil, cruel things to me, abused me in many ways, ways I wish I could forget, ways...ways no boy should ever have to go through. I had to do it alone, and now I have the chance to help a wonderful boy like you, so please let me do for you, what no one would do for me.'
Angel started crying, the tears flowing endlessly. It felt so good to finally be free to release the burden he had been carrying alone, all alone. He hugged Sebastian as hard as he ever could, never wanting to let go, never wanting the moment to end.
`Oh Sebastian, thank you, thank you so much. I have had to carry this all alone, not being able to talk to anyone about anything. Always having to be brave for mother, finally standing up to father when he would attack her. Only to have him beat me, only to have broken my bones. Beat me, curse the day I was born, curse the day he ever laid eyes on me. Please Sebastian, please be telling me the truth, please tell me you will help me, that you will be there for my mother and me? Please I am not big enough, I am not strong enough, I need help, I will do anything, anything you want whatsoever. Please Sebastian, say you will?' Angel begged.
Sebastian hugged Angel again, only this time, while noticing that Angel's father was watching through the window. He began kissing Angel tenderly on his cheeks, on his eyes, then on his lips. Angel did not realize why he was doing that, he was thinking that maybe he was just trying to comfort him. His father before had never comforted him, so he thought this was the normal way to be comforted, so he allowed him to kiss him. Sebastian ran his hands up and down his back, pulling Angel's body tighter to his, and began whispering into his ear.
`Angel, everyone knows your father is evil that he should be sent to hell, where his soul is burned a thousand times over. The same way my father is now burning in the fire pits of hell, that he is forever being punished for what he did to me.
I wont let you be hurt anymore, I'll be her to comfort you in anyway I can. I will help to protect your mother, the best that I can. Your going to have to trust me, we are going to have to work together. You are going to have trust me, and I am going to have to trust you. Anything we say, anything we do, must be kept between one another. We cannot ever let anyone know what we are doing; your father can never know anything we talk about, for forewarned is foretold. If he were to catch wind of our relationship, he will rain down wrath on your mother and you, the likes of what you have never seen. Therefore, from this moment forward, we have to be a team. A secret team, understand Angel?'
`Oh yes, oh yes, I do understand. I can trust you, I know I can, you are just like me. You have been through the same things; you have gone through the same things. If anyone can help my mother and me, it is you. Thank you Sebastian, than you so much.
So what is the plan, what are we going to do to stop him. How are we going to make him go away? Please, I will do anything, I cannot take watching him beat my mother anymore, or the beatings he gives me. Next, he will start on my sister when she is old enough, I know he will. Please, we have to stop him, we have to stop him.' Angel begged, tears in his eyes.
Sebastian wiped the tears away from Angel's cheeks, pulling him close to him. Angel could feel his breath on his face, their mouths so close together. Angel did not know any better, he just assumed Sebastian was comforting him, and he felt safe, that was all that mattered to him.
Sebastian kissed Angel on the lips, pulling his head tight to his own, Angel resisted a little, not fully feeling right, but at the same time, the touch of comfort felt better than the beatings he had been receiving.
`Angel it's time to be a man, it's time to make the hard choices, the choices you as the man of the house can make.
It is time to get rid of your father, to make him disappear once and for all. Therefore, he can no longer hurt your mother, your sister, and most of all you. Angel, you have to understand, it is the only way, and it is the only way to save your family. Do you understand, Angel?' he asked.
Angel turned away from him, looking over the terrace, in a trance, thinking about what Sebastian just said. Thinking about what it meant, was it something he could live with, could he really kill his father to save his family? Could he live with himself, if he did it?
Angel turned and ran to Sebastian, he jumped up into his arms, Sebastian turning him around and around, hugging him tightly.
`So you've decided to poison my son, tried to trick him into betraying him family. You have gone to far Sebastian, way to far, I am going to make you rue the day you were born. As for you Angelus, for you are no longer an Angel. I saw you kissing a man, hugging him, touching him, you are an abomination. Your punishment will be the likes of your worst nightmares; your worst fears will come to life now. By the time I am done with you, you will no longer have those Angelic features; you will look like the devil himself. You will be to hideous, no one will dare look at you and see the beauty you once had, they will only see the horror of what you truly are.
Men, take Sebastian to the holding cells, keep him there with no water, heat, food, and make him as uncomfortable as possible. I'll deal with him in the morning; right now I have family matters to deal with.' Angel's father gloated, finally having Sebastian for the last time.
`Under what crimes are you charging me with, I've done nothing?' Sebastian asked, giving Angel a wink.
`Plotting my death with my son, for starters. Touching my son in a way no man should ever touch a boy, it goes against church and state. You tried to use my son to plot against me, you will pay.' Angel's father laughed.
`He did no such thing, he never touched me, and he never spoke of killing you. We were...we were talking about my future. We were talking about what I wanted to do when I grew up, you cannot do this father. He did none of the things you said, none! I swear it on my life, I will stand in court, and I will swear an oath that he did none of the crimes you have accused him of, Father.' Angel stood up for the first time in his life; he had never felt so empowered. He finally found a friend to help him, he was not about to lose him.
The guests of the party were all standing around, hearing all that was said, all the crimes Sebastian was accused of, and Angel's oaths that the crimes were false. Angel's father's smile withered away, as quickly as it came. Sebastian had thought of everything, he planned this all out. Knowing Angel would trust him, stand up for him. He knew the crowd of guests would come out to watch, that they would bare witness to what Angel and Sebastian had to say.
He had lost the upper hand on Sebastian, and it was all Angel's fault, Angel would now pay.
`This party is over, everybody out. I want Sebastian taken away, he will be questioned tomorrow morning, and tonight I need to deal with my family issues. My son has been traumatized, we need a family moment. I apologize ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming.'
A chill ran down Angel's spine, fear welled through his body. His father saw and heard more than he would have ever imagined, Sebastian could not rescue him this time. His mother would be beat first, then, and then there was no telling what his father would do to him.
Everyone left, leaving Angel's family alone, with an outraged father. Angel's sister was already put to sleep, while Angel's mother pulled him behind her back.
Angel's father began beating his mother into unconsciousness. After which, he grabbed Angel, who was hidden under the table his mother threw him at, right before she was hit, she threw him underneath a table, trying to protect him from what she knew was coming next. Tears flowed down her face, as she completely forgetting about the pain her husband had caused her. Her only care was for what her bastard husband was about to inflict on Angel, her light, her life. She fought the darkness that threaten to take her over, but the blow to the head against the table knocked her out, she saw her sons fear filled face, and then blacked out, with her heart aching at the final waking sight of her son.
Angel's whole body shook his mouth so dry he could not even swallow. A part of his mind told him it was time to man up, time to do what he and Sebastian had already begun to talk about. He hit his mother for the last time; he would hit him for the time.
Angel's hands trembled, his heart pounding in his chest, the hairs on the back of his neck stood. He was going to do what had never done before; he was going to stand up against his father. He knew standing up to him was not going to be enough; he was going to have to kill him. With or without Sebastian, Angel would have to end his father's reign of terror. For the sake of his Mother, for the sake of his Sister, for the sake of himself.
It would end tonight.
Angel's father walked towards Angel, he looked to be breathing fire, and his anger was an inferno waiting to explode. This was unlike any anger Angel had ever seen before, this was far from what Angel felt he was ready for, but Sebastian made him a man today.
It was time.
Angel's father grabbed Angel's medium long hair, and dragged him by the hair down the hall. Angel began kicking his feet, and waving his hands trying to loosen his father's grip on his hair. He began pulling him up the stairs, Angel had to use his feet to push himself up the steps. Angel prayed to the good spirits to help him, to give him strength, to stop this madness. However, they did not answer, they never answered his prayers before, why should they now.
Damn the good Spirits, Damn them to hell, Angel began to change his fear to anger, his fear to rage. He became blinded with a power inside he's never seen before, a power so stronger, begging to come out.
He began knocking down tables, stands, trying to knock down anything he can, to use so he could help himself. A silver envelope cutter fell off the table, Angel grasped for it, with barley a second to spare. His father dragged him to his Angel's bedroom, while Angel hid the silver blade waiting for the right movement, waiting for the right amount of courage to do what he knew he had to do, the only thing he could do to save his family.
Angel tried desperately to control his breathing, to control his panic, he wanted to be ready, he needy to be ready. He had one chance, and one chance only, he could not afford to miss.
His father pulled him up by the hair and through him on the bed. He straddled Angel, keeping his knees locked under his knees. Angel could not move his arms, he reprimanded himself for not using the knife quicker, but he was waiting for the right moment, he needed to be sure, he had to be sure.
`So now it all makes sense, my little Angel is looking for a man's love, a man's affection. No less, my only son is looking to kill his father, looking to kill the man who raised him, fed him, clothed him, and gave him the best of everything, trying to make him into a real man.
Well, now as I have witnessed tonight, you enjoyed kissing a man, hugging a man, feeling his body touching you closely.
It all makes sense now that is why my son has been such a pansy, such a little fairy. Do you think I am going to let you ruin our family name, let you ruin everything I have built with my bare hands. Destroy your destiny, your future, all that I have laid out for you, all I have planned for you. You dare think to taint our family name, by being touched by a man, no less my mortal enemy. The man hell bent on taking everything I have built for you, our family dynasty.
Have you learned nothing from me, haven't you been listening to anything I have said to you? Everyone is your enemy; everyone is out to get what rightfully belongs to us, to you. He was playing you, and you were falling for it. Do you know what would have happened if you killed me? Do you? Sebastian would have gotten everything, your mother would have been left on the street, your sister unable to be fed, and everything destroyed.
You are a fool, a selfish fool, and I am going to teach you a lesson, a lesson you will never forget. This time you let it settle into that thick skull of yours, and realize the consequences of your actions.
This will be your final lesson, and if you do not learn anything, I will kill you myself.
If you think your going to do something with this little blade, you've got another thing coming.' he said pulled the letter opener and throwing it at the wall, where it stuck right in the wall.
Angel's fears went to a completely new level, a level he was not even prepared for. What he thought to be having the upper hand was now out of his hand. What he thought he knew and learned from Sebastian, was nothing more than a lie. Angel was lost, and now he was about to get a lesson he would never forget.
His father began beating him, slapping him; backhanding him, to blood splattered everywhere.
However, that was not as scary as what came next, what Angel was dreading most of all.
His father began tarring off his clothes, with each item he removed, a laid another punch in on Angel, knocking the breath right out of him. Tears ran down his face, as he begged his father not to do this, to please stop. His father just laughed as he finished stripping off Angel's clothes.
"Please Angelus stop, please I'm begging you stop! I do not want to hear this; I do not want to know. I beg of you please, please, please don't tell me anymore." I begged, tears running down my face.
Angelus started laughing; it was a bone-chilling laugh, a laugh that made the hair on the neck of Lucian's head, stand on edge.
"You're such a fool son, such a little fool. Much like my worse half, Angel. See, I started the story to tell let you know how I came to be, where most people think I am the vimpire side of Angel, the soulless part. What they do not know is that, the night that I am telling you about, and what I am about to reenact with you, changed Angel. He partitioned his mind, created another personality within to deal with what happed, with what his father did to him, what I'm about to do to you.
See, I have a theory, if it was not for that one night, for Angel's father doing to him what he did to him, then I never would have been created it. If I do not do the same thing to you, if I do not cause the same with you, I will not have the son I need, the son I want, my son, not that pathetic Angel's son. I need my son, the son of Angelus, the son that will help me have everything I have worked so hard for, suffered so long for. I will have everything I have always wanted, and I will have my son by my side.
So where was I, yes Angel's father had ripped off his clothes, and now it's your turn, I will follow a play by play of what happened to Angel, to you." Angelus gloated.
"Wait, please, you don't have to do this, you don't have to rape me, and I'll do whatever you want. Anything! Just tell me, how do you have power over me? How come I can't move, how are you controlling me?" I asked.
"The million dollar question...well, since it wont hurt for you to know, since there is nothing you can do about it, nothing anyone can do about it, I might as well tell you. Along time ago, before Spike was in the Picture, Darla, Drucilla and I, found a prophecy about the son of a Vampire and a Slayer. My son and what he would mean to the world, what he would do to the world. The power he would have and the Orb that rightfully belonged to him. The Orb that would change the world, change my life. Therefore, we found the Orb, and Drucilla performed a spell, and unbreakable spell, one that would leave me with control over you. Control over you forever and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me, nothing. Now, enough talk, time to show you what your father went through, so I can have the son I need, and deserve." he explained.
He ripped my clothes off my body, leaving me body fully exposed. My muscles flexed, as I struggled to break free. My flaccid seven-inch cock laid down to the left, my long hefty ball sack, lying between my legs.
"I'm impressed, soft your cock still looks very impressive, you really do take after daddy. This is going to be fun, and the best part is, just as Angel was a virgin, so are you. I am going to tare your virgin ass apart, just as Angel's father did. He broke Angel, broke him so badly that I was created, a part of him necessary in order for Angel to stay sane. When Darla bit Angel, changing him into a Vampire, all that happened was I took over completely.
Every part of Angel that was missing was put into me. All his anger, hidden desire to kill his father, all his issues, all the evil sides of a person, mainly Angel, was split into me. Thus, Angelus was created; I took all those sides of Angel, leaving him laying dormant in the back of my head somewhere. I was free to fulfill all those desires he had, the need to kill his own father, to torture him, a long and grewsome tortures death. I made him suffer in everyway possible, for everything he did to Angel.
You could call it my one last gift to Angel, for creating me. However, I killed his mother too, and his poor little sister, she was the one who let me in, had she only listened to father and said no, the would have all been alive, for a time at least.
I mean I was not really after them, only after Angel's father. I wanted him, as if I have never wanted anything in my life. When he came home to find his wife, and daughter dead, and me standing there, he froze.
He knew what I was; he called me a demon comes for him. He did not beg, he did not plead, and he was an evil bastard from beginning to end.
Therefore, I made him pay in pain, torturing him in everway possible, making him scream, though he would never beg me to end it, no he bit his tongue as hard as he could. However, I know, I could see it in his eyes, I could see the pain, and I could see the suffering. That was more than enough. Until I, finnaly ate his heart, while he stared at me. It was the sweetest punishment; I had ever tasted in all my hundreds of years alive.
Now, son it is time, its time to put you through what your father went through, what made your father create me. It's time to fulfill the prophecy." he said adamantly.
He stood up and took off his shirt, revealing extremely large, bulging, flexing mucsles. I now knew where I got my body from, though his was far more tight, lined, ripped than mine was. Where I was halfway there, he was well there and beyond.
He slid his pants down, revealing his tight bulging G-string Bikini underwear.
If I did not fear for what was coming next, if it wasn't my father, or the evil part of my father, I would have been excited. Actually if it was Spike standing there before me, I would be more than a hard, I would be filled with complete extacsy right now.
Instead, my insides were in complete disary, I wanted to vomit, I could not stop shaking. I have been through enough sexual torture with my stepmothers boyfriends. However, nothing could compare to having a man in your fathers body, about to take away the most scared thing from you. I have dreamed a million dreams, masterbated a million times, to the fantasy of this very moment, and none of it was this horrible reality.
I wanted to die; I wanted the eart to open up and swallow me whole.
He slid down his sexy underwear, realiving the most amazingly beautiful 12 in cock. It was standing erect, straight up, hard as a rock. He knew what he was doing, he knew what he wanted, and there was no one to stand in his way, no one to stop him, he was going to have me, and I was powerless to do anything about it, to do anything to stop him. He was right, the only was I would get through this, would be to separate myself, my mind. He was going to get everything he wanted, he would break me in two, and have the evil version of me to control.
"I'm hurt son; you're not even hard at seeing my bodacious body. I have one of the sexiest bodies, and you are not even a little turned on. What, is it that I am not Spike? Please, he does not even have the mounds of muscles that I do, he does not even light a candle to me. Sure, he has a ripped body, sexy in its own way I suppose, if you are into that sort of thing.
I have had a foursome with Spike before, I would not say he was the best, and I know I have shown him more than a thing or two. That was one fine night, Darla, Drusilla, Spike and I, we were in ecstasy.
Well, maybe if daddy starts to do some tricks, some special things I know how to do, to finally get your juices running. Let the games begin, you're in for the ride of your life son." he said excitedly.
He crawled onto the bed, and got between my legs; he took my cock in his mouth, and began working it up and down. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, thinking off everything else but what was happening, my cock betrayed me. It grew to its full nine inches, my cock head glistening with precum, as he continued to work his tongue on the tip of my cock head. He ran his hands up and down my body, twisting my nipples, softly at first, then harder, and harder, until moan escaped my lips. He was not lying when he said he knew tricks, tricks to make your toes curl up, and your body tingles in sensations of pure lust. Without realizing it, I wanted more, and more. I began begging him for more, I had no idea I was even doing it, all I knew was my lust was taking over, I was beyond horny. The only difference is, I was thinking of Spike. I looked up and I saw Spikes face before me, it was no longer Angelus, it was Spike, and I knew there was nothing I wanted more that Spike, nothing more than Spike inside me.
Spike, Mom, where are you?
Spike and Illyria finally found Club Rage, after beating one of Drucillas men to finding out where she was, the Vampire gave up the name Club Rage.
"Are you sure she's here, Spike?" Illyria asked.
"I can smell her, its Vampire thing. At least you will fit in, in that outfit. You best be prepared, she won't be easy to sneak up on, and she'll have enough body gaurds protecting her." Spike explained.
"After what happened with Luican, I am hungry for a good battle. Let them come, I Illyria will bring them all to their knees." she said angrily.
"Just remember, don't kill Drucilla, we need her if we're going to get any information." Spike said.
Then entered the club, the music pounding beats in the background, and demons of every kind dancing to the beats. Spike sniffed the air, searching out Drucilla's scent. They made their way to the center of the club, when the suddenly began being surrounded by demons and monsters. Spike knew they were surrounding them on purpose, Drucilla knew they were here.
"Get ready Illyria, it's time to fight." Spike said.
"Well, well, well, look who we have here. If it isn't William the Bloody himself, and look, he's brought a Smurf with him. You're not welcomed here, so I'll give you two seconds to turn around and leave, or you'll never have the chance to leave again." the Vampire said.
"Well, I guess your about to find out why they call me William the Blood." Spike said, as he spun quickly knocking the Vampire into the air, knocking some of the men over. Illyria punched some kind of creature sending him flying through the crowd, taking others down with him.
Spike and Illyria fought through the gang of men, with Spike sniffing the air, making his way toward Drucilla. They finally reached the upper level of the club, until he finally came face to face with Drucilla.
"Hello Lover, it's so nice to see you again. Please, do have a seat, why don't I pour you a glass of blood. It is quite freash, truly. So what is this blue beastly woman doing with you, were you afraid to come alone?" Drucilla asked.
"You know why I'm here Drew, you know what I need. Now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way, but one way or another you're going to tell me what I need to know." Spike threatened.
"So we're dispencing with the pleasantries, you've lost the fun side of yourself, the second you gained your filthy sould." she mocked.
"May I do violence now; I really wish to do violence to this one." Illyria asked.
"I like her, you've picked well Spike. She's so willing to fight for what she wants, no run crying with his tail between his legs, like you did when you left me for Buffy." she said.
"Ah, so your still bitter about Buffy, after all these years. Well, get over it, she is with Angel again, as they were always meant to be. Drew, please, I am asking you, no I am begging you for old times sake, help me please. I know you know what's happening, I know you know where Angelus has taken Lucian, so please tell me where, tell me why?" he asked.
"I owe you nothing; you've betrayed me more times than I care to remember. You left me for a Slayer, a Slayer, do you know how embarrassing that was, and do you know how many shun me now because of that. When you still had that chip in your head, I came to help you, and what do you do, you trick me, hang me up, and chose the Slayer to save and run after, rather than me. Me the one who Sired you, the one who took care of you, who gave you eternal life, who gave you a family to love, to be with, when you had no one, no one to love you, no one to care about you. You dare come here, beat my men up, and ask me for information. Who do you think you are, and what makes you think I would do anything to help you?" She said angrily.
"Drucilla, I've done everything you've ever asked for, I've sacrificed everything in the name of my love for you. Please I beg of you, tell me what's going on, and tell me what's happened to Lucian?" Spike begged.
"Sacrificed, you speak of sacrifice to me? I will tell you, on one condition. You must drink human blood, kill a human, and I'll give you what you want, what do you say?" with a smirk on her face, she asked.
"Blonde one, you know it's a trick, you have a soul, you know what will happen if you drink the life blood of a human. You can't, Spike, you just can't." Illyria said.
"Damn you Drew, how can you ask me to do that? You know what it will do to me, I have a soul now, killing someone, drinking their blood, it will kill me, drive me insane, please." he begged.
"You never did have the balls to do what it takes to save someone you love, it's why I let you go, you're pathetic. I have known you have been coming for some time now; I have known what has been happening for over a hundred years now. Darla, Angelus and I, knew much more than we ever shared with you. You knew I had powers, that I was not a normal Vampire, but one with the ability to see the future, ability to see into things no one else can. Why, it fills my head, it fills my mind to know my vision has come to pass.
You can't even begin to comprehend what Angelus is doing to Lucian as we speak, the horrors of what happened to Angel before Darla changed him, Angelus is doing what Angel's father did to him. The Lucian you know is not going to be the Lucian you knew, Angelus would see to that. He's going to destroy everything good inside him, everything that makes him who he is, your to late no matter what you, your to late. Ha, ha, ha...ha, ha, ha..." She laughed.
"Can I do violence now; can I do violence now, to her, finally?" Illyria asked excitedly.
"Just don't kill her, but feel free to make her suffer untill she tells us what we need to know." Spike said, hoping his bluff would work.
Illryia grabbed Drucilla by the neck lifting her up, and holding her tightly by the throat. Drucilla kicked, and tried to pry Illyria's hands off her neck.
"Shall I do more; maybe start by breaking her fingers?" Illyria asked.
"No...no...I'll talk, I'll talk." Drucilla begged.
"If you lie, I swear to you, I won't stop her from hurting you, till she's ripped you until every part of your body is ripped apart." Spike threatened.
"We came across the Orb, and through my powers I was able to see what its purpose was for, and whose destiny it belonged to, and what must be done to ensure the future we wanted to happen.
I saw Lucian, and knew how he would come to be. However, I also saw that Lucian would be a source of good, a pure, unadulterated sourse of good. One that would use the Orb to stop some of the most dangerous Evil to ever walk the earth.
However, I also saw what happened to Angel, before Darla changed him, before he was ever Angelus. I saw the good, pure, scared, abused boy he was. I saw what his father did to him, the pain, the torture, the sexual abuse. I saw the monster he was creating, and how it created another personality within Angel...namely Angelus.
Angelus was born before Darla came along, he was set free the moment she turned him.
After seeing what the Orb would do to Lucian, I also saw that if Angelus did to Lucian, what Angel's father did to him, he would create another personality in him. The same way it happened to Angel, it would happen to Lucian. Luciano would be created, Angelus's son. One so evil, with the power to bring the world to its knees. He is going to rape, and torture his son. He is going to turn him into his own prodigy, and use him to control the world. He is going to do it, where it all began.
The Orb was created to be used to help in a battle that I could not see Lucian win, but I also could not see him lose.
If you plan to save him, which I truly think you are to late...would be to get to Angelus now, before he does to Lucian what he plans to do.
The true reason I am telling you this, is that if Angelus creates this alter ego Luciano, then he will be in control of us all. Meaning we will be serving him, and only him. We will have no free will, none what so ever.
We all lose, if you lose in stopping him.
It has already begun, Angelus has complete control over Lucian, and Lucian is powerless against him. We created a spell that gives Angelus control over Lucian, he powerless against him in everyway. Time is running out Spike, you must do something now, or you will forever lose Lucian to Angelus. We will all be his slave, he will control the world.
Though I doubt you will make it, there is no way for you to be in two places at one time. I will not be under the contrl, since I cast the spell. I would not mind him winning, but everyone will be a slave to his power, mindless, drones. I would be left with fools around me, with no one to play with, no one to chase, to put up a fight when I am hungry.
So go now, find a way, or you lose Lucian, and the rest of the world.
One last thing Spike, if I ever see you again, I will kill you. I will rip out your soul, and eat it. Don't ever come looking for me again, I've told you all I can, now be gone, before he wins." she explained, turing around and jumping off the balcony before disappearing into the darkness.
Spike picked up his cell phone and called Buffy.
"Buffy, is Willow with you?" he asked frantically.
"Yes, she's right here. Did you find out what you were looking for, do you know anything?" Buffy asked in a rush.
"More than I ever wanted to know. Can Willow bring you to my location at once, we haven't got much time." no sooner had he spoke the words, when Willow, Buffy, and Faith had appeared.
"Lucian is in my trouble than we could have ever imagined, Angelus is going to do to him, what Angel's father did to him. He is going to create Luciano, just as Angelus was created out of Angel. If we don't find him now, Angelus will control the world, and nothing, I mean nothing will ever be able to stop him." Spike said.
"I don't understand, what did Angel's father to do him, and what does all this have to do with the Orb?" Buffy asked.
"I'll tell you on the way, its and ugly story, I'm not even sure your going to want to hear it, but I don't have a choice." he answered.
"How do you know where Angelus has taken him, how do you know where Lucian is?" Buffy asked.
"Somethind Drew said, he's taken him to the place where it all began. That can only mean one place, he taken Lucian home, to Angel's real home in Ireland, where it all began. Where Angel's father did horrible things to him, and thus created Angelus. We have to get there, and we have to get there now. He has already started; we might already be too late. Buffy, he is going to rape and torture Lucian, turn him into a monster only he can control. We will not just have Angelus to worry about; we will have Luciano to deal with too. Willow please tell me you can take us there, please tell me you can do this?" Spike begged.
"If I concentrate hard enough, I just might be able to. Especially since, you gave me a location, Ireland. That should help, a lot." Willow answered.
"Then let's do this, Lucian is counting on us, the world is counting on us." Buffy said.
They took hands, as Willow closed her eyes, and then opened them to find them completely black. With her hair blowing back, she summoned powers, stronger than ever before.
This was their only chance, Lucian's only chance.
They could not fail.
No body said it, but they all felt the weight of the world on the shoulders yet again.
No less the weight of the horror, Lucian was going through, helpless and alone.
Fear was the only driving force, behind everything they did now.
Spike wondered, would it be enough.
Could they save Lucian?
Could he save the one he loved?
Spike could not believe it, but he said it, the one he loved.
Lucian, I love you. Spike said to himself.