Date: Wed, 6 Nov 2002 12:30:33 EST
From: Faradhi269@aol.com
Subject: My Life at Hogwarts 18

	*This story is a work of fiction.  The sexuality of the characters
is not certain, and my view is not the view of the original author and/or
spokesmen for the characters.  Harry Potter, etc., are copyrighted by J. K
Rowling, Scholastic Books and Warner Brothers.  If you are underage, so are
the characters, so who really cares.  If you object to stories involving
homosexual sex between consenting teenagers, you're in the wrong archive.
Thanks to all who've been giving me their support.  As usual, flames will
be ignored, and comments are greatly appreciated.*

	I opened my eyes to feel Dumbledore's wand poking me in the chest.
"Enervate," he commanded.  My eyes fluttered, and he prodded me again.
"Enervate," he repeated.  I shook my head and tried to stand up.  He held
out a hand and I grabbed it.
	"That was a challenge, Mr. Arico," he told me as he helped me to my
feet.  "I needed nearly a dozen tries before you woke up."
	I shrugged my shoulders.  "At least it worked.  Thank you, sir."
	He nodded and looked over towards where Harry and Ron were facing
down Sirius.  I slowly walked over to them listening.  Their faces showed
distress, and I heard Sirius say, "...expecting this."
	"Sirius, you can't be upset with them.  In a way, it's really my
fault."
	"What?"
	I held up a hand to forestall him.  "Look.  They were both raised
not to think this way, but I wasn't.  I saw their feelings for each other
and encouraged them to explore those feelings, rather than shrug them off
as some sort of phase.  If you want to blame someone, blame me."
	He looked shocked.  Then he began to laugh, a deep rich chuckle.
"No, Matthew, I said considering how they've been with each other, I
probably should have been expecting this."
	I looked at Harry and Ron, who were blushing.  "Oh," I said simply.
I looked to Professor McGonagall, who looked distinctly unhappy.  "I trust,
Professor, that this will be kept a secret?"
	She looked outraged.
	"After all, we don't want Professor Snape to find out, do we?
Imagine what he'd do, and think what it might do to the reputation of
Gryffindor."
	She frowned, apparently trying to figure out what to say.
	"Of course, the fact that six of the seven of us are from
Gryffindor's House, that should be pleasing.  Gryffindor: The House that
takes on the Dark Lord."  She smiled weakly.
	"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to get some
fresh air and go to bed.  Being a focus is tiring."  That drew a few feeble
chuckles, and I walked back out the plumbing, through the bathroom, and out
the doors, heading for the Haunted Forest.
	Once there, I summoned my wands to me, and pulled out the fire
wand.  I set it onto the empty air, where it waited patiently.  I gulped
and took a deep breath.  "Moonlight's glow against the snow, form up now
and through me flow!"  I held out my hand and a blue-white hilt, cold to
the touch, solidified.  As normal for me when holding a weapon, I felt my
own power flux and grow, pulsing more strongly with each passing moment.
At each peak, a blade began to form from the hilt, shimmering and growing
in brightness until I finally held a blade of pure light, glowing with a
plethora of colors until it finally grew too bright for the eyes to look at
directly.
	Once it reached that point, I held out my left hand.  "Blood my
blood.  Flesh my flesh.  Bone my bone."  With one quick flick of the
exquisitely sharp blade, my left hand came off at the wrist.  I hissed in
pain, and the blood boiled where it struck the blade.  I nearly passed out
from the pain, and darkness overtook me.  I thought I heard a voice.  "He
has split.  This is foolishness.  He will be unable to contain it."
	"Nonsense," another voice said, quietly.  "There is still hope."
	"It must be ended before he causes more harm."
	"NO!  My Lord, it is not yet time for such action."
	"Have you Foreseen something?"
	A sigh.  "No, my Lord.  He is beyond any Foresight of mine.  Let us
only wait and watch."
	"So be it."  The first voice had a note of finality.  "For now."
	My vision returned, and I tried to staunch the flow of blood and
grow a new wrist.  But my attempt at healing closed the wound so that the
blood loss was cut in half, no more.
	Meanwhile, from the stump of the hand, a glow had emerged, and that
glow expanded into the shape of a human form.  The light flared and filled,
becoming solid.  Even the hand grew and thickened.  When the glow faded,
Michael D'Angelius stood naked before me, wincing in pain and clutching his
left hand.
	"Michael," I croaked.
	He looked up and his eyes widened when he saw the sheer amount of
blood in a puddle in front of me.  He rushed over and closed his hands over
my wrist.  They glowed a gentle blue for a moment and the pain vanished.
The cold that had been creeping up my arm slowed and became warm.  From
that warmth, a new hand exploded in pieces of gore.
	"Oops," he grinned, wiping reddish chunks off his face.  "That was
a little messy.  Rush jobs often are."  He grinned, and I had to smile
back.
	"You just aren't up for more magic tonight, so I suppose I'll deal
with clothes," he snorted.  Raising his hands, he brought them down
sharply.  In the blink of an eye, he had on warm clothing and a cloak.
With a snap of his fingers, the red wand floated to his hand.  He took a
deep breath.  "It's nice to be back."
	"You'll be back forever now," I grated, still feeling weak.
	"What do you mean?"
	"The ritual I used.  It's permanent.  Your will is separate now.
You can go as you please.  You just can't use your power against me for any
reason.  We are still one in that way."
	He nodded.  "You're in a rather dangerous profession.  What if you
die?"
	"If I die, you'll still live, unless I die in a manner that erases
me or who I did, or something like that.  Then you'll go, too."
	He nodded.  "I hope, for many reasons, that doesn't happen."
	"There's one more thing: your magic will be more normal now."
	"More normal?"
	"More like that of the regular teachers at the school.  You have
abilities they don't, but it's not the same magic.  Not completely.  That
couldn't survive the complete separation I made."
	He took my arm and supported me to the castle.  "I understand.  Now
get upstairs and get some rest.  If your memories serve me correctly,
classes start tomorrow."
	I nodded glumly and stifled a yawn.  He smirked at me.  "Still
stubborn.  Now get going."
	"Yessir."

	I woke up the next morning well-rested, but a little annoyed at how
easily I'd let myself get bullied by my own self.  I wasn't particularly
looking forward to classes, either, especially having a double potions
first thing that morning.
	I dressed and joined the others for breakfast.  Ron's brothers were
asking him about his break and though he tried to fend them off, his
telltale blush let them know that SOMETHING interesting had happened.
	I shrugged.  He'd tell them or he wouldn't.  Didn't matter to me.
I began munching on some bacon when the mail came in.  Though owls are
silent fliers, the amount of mail fluttering through the air and the noise
of the recipients covered the sound of my mirror ringing.
	It wasn't until it began to buzz against my chest (I keep it in a
small pocket inside my cloak now) that I realized I was getting a phone
call.  I slipped it out, and immediately, the surface began to glow.
	"Hey, Matt," Will said once he saw my face.  "How are things at
school?"
	"I've been better," I muttered.
	"Why?"
	"Nothing.  Just not ready for this class.  The teacher's something
of a prig."
	He laughed.  "I know what you mean.  One or two of mine are rather
difficult, as well."
	I snorted.  "So, were there any incidents?"
	"It was difficult to leave everyone after being gone so long, but
the return trip was uneventful."
	"Good.  How's Harry?"
	"He's well.  I already got a ring from him.  It appears he's
already found a possible interest."
	"Really?" I added a roguish lilt to my question.
	"Not much information yet.  He just returned, after all."
	"That's still rather fast."
	"I gather there was interest before, but he wasn't sure what to do
about it."
	"Well, he certainly filled out in your time at Avalon, I can say
that much.  He's gotten to be quite the hunk."
	He looked offended.
	"You're still cuter, though," I added with a wink.
	He smiled.  "Good.  As long as that's still set, then we're fine."
	"Yup."
	He lost his smile, and his face grew otherwise very serious.
"Actually, Matt, I wanted to talk with you about...you know.  What we did."
	I lifted an eyebrow.
	He looked away from the phone for a moment.  "Blast.  That's my
warning for class.  I'll call you later, all right?"
	I sighed.  "Sure Will.  Have fun."
	My good mood from his call dissipated.  I HATE not knowing,
especially about something so important.  Why did he seem so uncomfortable
discussing it??  What's wrong?  Has he found someone else?  Or maybe he
regrets the kiss in the first place?

	My head was still a fog when we descended into the dungeon for our
Potions lesson.  "Mr. Arico!"  I didn't realize that Professor Snape had
been calling my name until he slammed his hand down on my desk, making
everyone in the room (including me, though I hated myself for it
afterwards) to jump.  I looked at him, and he had a wicked smirk on his
face.
	"So, our resident hero thinks he's too important to pay attention
in my class?"
	"What's the matter Professor," I bit back acidly.  "Upset that you
had to give me a perfect score on my last assignment?"
	"You'll watch yourself with me, Arico."
	"Or what?"
	He hissed, and the rest of the class drew in a breath.
	"Or I will personally see to it that you are expelled."
	"You can't do that, and you know it.  Only Professor McGonagall can
do that, and somehow, I doubt she'll listen to you about me.  She knows you
don't like me."
	His voice grew even quieter.  "You DARE speak to me like this?
Detention.  And fifty points from Gryffindor."
	I shrugged.  "Might as well make it an even hundred, Snape."
	He looked ready to spit acid.  So I did it for him.  He flinched
back, trying to stop the holes that appeared in his robes from growing
larger.
	"GET OUT!" he roared.  The class fled.
	"See you next week, Professor," I grinned as I strode out the door.
	"Matt," Hermione hissed, "what are you doing?  Snape is going to
kill you!"
	"Yeah," Ron agreed.  "That was pushing it a little, don't you
think?"
	"Whatever.  Snape can kiss my ass."
	A low voice hissed, "I can do WHAT, Mr. Arico?"
	I spun and lashed out instinctively.  Harry found himself slammed
into the wall with his arms and legs pinned.  I knew I was glowing
brightly, an aura of power flowing around me.  "Oops, sorry Harry."  I let
him down.
	He rubbed his head.  "My fault.  I should've known better."
	I punched him on the shoulder.  "Yup.  You should have."

	The rest of the day passed by rather nicely, but the next morning,
I received notification of my detention.  I read the note and chuckled.
"Looks like Snape wants to get rid of me."
	"What," Harry asked.
	"I'm supposed to gather him some fresh Nightshade from the Forest."
	"Nightshade," Hermione gasped.  "But-"
	"It's dangerous," I completed for her.  "I know, I know.  I won't
be hurt.  But I wonder if he knows I know not to touch its leaves.  Anyway,
let's go see how Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class is going."
	"Hey, Matt, I just remembered.  Professor Trelawney asked about
you."
	Hermione sniffed disdainfully.  "What's she want?"
	"I dunno," Ron said.  "Just that she asked us to tell you that you
made a mistake."
	I snorted.  "It seems I've made many.  Come on."

	We arrived at the Care of Magical creatures, where Hagrid brought a
Cockatrice.
	"Ever'one stay back," he warned.  "The Cockatrice is a powerful
creature. Yer don' want ter look at its eyes or let it peck yer with its
beak.
	"Now, the Cockatrice is related to the Basilisk, but it's not as
dangerous.  Lookin' at its eyes is still dangerous, and it has a horrible
nasty breath, but as you can see, it's small and easy to handle.  These
'ere creatures become fairly calm when ya cover their eyes, like I done."
	I lifted a hand.  "Hagrid, how do these things get born?"
	"Well, they're a lot like a Basilisk in that, but a Cockatrice
comes from a cock" there were some giggles "er rooster, if ye'd rather,
layin' the egg, which is sat on by a serpent or lizard.  Then you get this.
It's beak can turn yeh to stone, and roosters and weasels'll kill it."
	I looked at the bat-winged, lizard-bodied rooster.  Didn't look
that dangerous to me.  I heard heavy breathing next to me, and Harry was
panting, being almost completely supported by Ron.  His face had an
expression of fear, and his eyes were glazed.
	"Harry?" I asked quietly to avoid drawing anyone's attention.  He
didn't answer.  "Harry?"  No response.Hagrid was extolling the magical
properties of the Cockatrice, talking about how despite being similar, they
and the Basilisk are enemies, and would kill each other without a second
thought.  I watched as Harry drew deeper into himself and my anger flared.
	The foot-long bird-thing in Hagrid's hands exploded, spraying the
class with gory chunks as they screamed.  Everyone turned to look at me.
It was fairly obvious I'd done it.  I glowed a deep, royal purple, and my
eyes flashed purple light.  Harry seemed to be over his panic attack-at
least, that's what I assumed it was.  I aided Ron in taking him to the
infirmary, leaving Hermione to explain what happened to Hagrid, then
returned to give my own explanation.
	"I never thought it'd 'urt 'arry," he said morosely.  "I jis'
thought that getting' an interestin' creature for the class would be a good
way to welcome everyone back from holiday."
	"No one thought it'd hurt Harry, Hagrid.  I'm not angry with you,
and I know Harry knows you'd never want to hurt him." I said quietly.
Apparently, my face didn't agree with my words, and Hagrid looked doubtful.
"I didn't mean to lash out, but Harry was getting so upset, and I didn't
want to draw any more attention to him.  He's had enough, don't you think?"
	"All righ' but now everybody's gonna be blamin' yeh."
	I made a rude noise.  "I really don't care.  I just didn't want you
to be upset, Hagrid.  You're Harry's friend."  My eyes went blank for a
moment.  "He's going to need you."
	He shot me a strange look, but I ignored it.  "Anyway, I've got to
do my detention.  I don't have any more classes today, so I might as well
get it over with.  Later, Hagrid."

	I went into the forest, looking for the distinctive purple stems
and large leaves.  At this time of year, I didn't expect to see any of the
purple-black berries, so I concentrated on the leaves.
	I came across one of the plants, standing a good four feet high and
glistening in the shadowed moonlight.  I decided to pull this one out,
since the root is the most poisonous part of the plant, and Snape would
want the strongest he could find, the rat bastard.  I formed my hand into a
fist, as though grabbing the plant, and lifted.  The air solidified around
the plant and it tugged gently free of the earth.  I turned to figure out
where to put it when I tripped over an exposed tree root.  The plant
dropped to the ground at the same time I did.  I caught myself with my
hands, so I didn't' go down too hard, but I got a few scrapes in the
process.  Nothing major, although I swore about it for a while.
	I heard a footstep behind me, and turned around, wand at the ready.
It was a centaur, armed with a crossbow and staring at me.  "What are you
doing in this forest, boy?  It's forbidden to students," he said
fiercely-but not threateningly.
	I was annoyed.  Annoyed at Snape for making me do this, annoyed
with myself for doing this, annoyed at Voldemort for making me stay at this
damn school so long and for corrupting one of my only friends, annoyed at
this centaur for making me stay out here longer than necessary.  So,
offhand I said, "Just needed to collect some seasoning for the kitchens."
	His eyes narrowed as he noticed the bush behind me, and
immediately, he fired his crossbow.  My left hand came up, catching the
bolt a few inches in front of my face, but another was already en route.  I
dropped my wand and caught that one with my right hand, then crossed the
two bolts and PUSHED.  A ripple followed suit, knocking the centaur back
and slamming him into a great, twisted oak.
	He rose and rushed me.  His charge took me in the chest, and I also
went flying back and landed right on top of the nightshade bush.  I felt my
right hand burning and I screamed.  The centaur stepped back, horror on his
face as I felt my power rise, unchecked and beyond my control, to blast
outward, incinerating the bush beneath me and any of the trees within
twenty feet.  The centaur was knocked back, and his eyes widened as I stood
angrily.
	"Y-you should be dead," he said.
	I smirked.  "Of course I should.  But Mars is exceptionally bright
tonight, isn't it?"
	He jerked up, to stare at the sky.  I rushed forward, a pair of
blades made of living fire appearing in my hands.  A few jarring moments
later, he would look at the sky forevermore.
	I turned away from his headless body and felt a piercing pain in my
shoulder.  I screamed and looked to see the point of an arrow sticking out
of my right side.  With my left hand, I pulled it out, with a hiss of pain,
and turned to see where it came from.
	Another centaur, a look of horror on his face, coupled with
determination was loading another arrow.  I shook my head angrily.  "Idiot.
Even Chiron knew better than to attack me!"  I tried to raise my right arm,
summoning fire to my hand, but the arrow's damage wouldn't let me, and I
shuddered.  The fire flared out as he launched another arrow.
	I snatched this one out of the air again, using my left hand.  My
eyes flared a deep, acid green.  "Now I'm angry," I snarled.  "Ortano for
di'yamar!"  A pair of flaming bolts, burning the same green as my eyes
launched out at the surprised centaur.  He screamed once before the
immolation began, and I averted my eyes.
	I still had work to do, so I continued my harvesting, muttering
angrily under my breath the whole time.  I returned to the school around
midnight and hauled off to Snape's office.
	He looked up in surprise as I kicked his door open.  "Here," I
snarled, hurling the big pile of vegetation onto his desk.
	"What are you-"
	"You wanted your damned Nightshade?  Here!  I was nice enough to
give you some crimsonthorn while I was out there, too.  Watch your hands."
I turned to leave the office, but his voice stopped me.
	"You little fool!  You touched these with your hands!  Don't you
know they're some of the deadliest plants in existence?"
	I snorted without turning.  "You think I didn't see the look in
your eyes when you saw that?  Don't lie to me, Snape.  Three lives were
lost out there tonight, and I hold you responsible."  I left and slammed
the door behind me before he could ask for further explanation.

	Snape picked up some gloves and gently sorted through the plants.
He stopped in surprise when he saw several of the leaves bore spots or
streaks of dark blood.

	After that, Snape was surprisingly quiet around me.  As were the
Slytherins.  They didn't harass anyone in the halls.  Not if I was anywhere
in sight.  They even played fair in their Quidditch match against Ravenclaw
for fear that I'd be watching.
	I wasn't however.  Most of the rest of the school was there.  I was
in the common room, copying some books to add to the library down in the
Chamber.  The others made a lot of comments about the Slytherins' actions,
but I didn't' have an answer.  Nor did I really care.
	Will hadn't called after that first day.  I assumed he was busy,
but my thoughts ate at me when I was alone, which was growing more and more
frequent.  Harry and Ron were spending a lot of their spare time
together--not that I blame them--and Hermione was studying her tail
off.
	Hermione confused me.  I'd never seen anyone so innately talented
and intuitive, but she still worked harder than anyone I'd ever come
across.  I wondered if she was going to go to college, because if so, she'd
be a nervous wreck long before graduating.

	A few weeks had passed since our return to school, and Easter was
already approaching fast, coupled with an increase at the amount of
homework.  Everyone (save me) spent a great deal of time in the library.
I, on the other hand, took the books to the common room of the tower,
turned one of the chairs around to face the fire, and studied there.
Alone.
	Things drew to a head one Friday night.  I hadn't seen Hermione
since class early that morning, and Harry and Ron were looking a little
grumpy, as well.  They came down the stairs from our dormitory with faces
that looked rather annoyed.
	"All right, you two," I called to them.  "Come here."
	They did so.  Reluctantly, I might add.  Strange....
	"What's going on now?"
	"Well, erm, we just wanted..." Ron's blush gave it all away.
	"Let me guess: Neville's up there right now?"
	"Nope.  Seamus and Dean."
	"Oh.  OK.  Well, I know someplace you can go."  They perked their
ears.  "Go down to the Chamber, and place ONE hand on the base of the
statue.  There's a secret room--an infirmary, really, but as we don't
really have any healers in the group, the room wasn't necessary.  Anyway,
put one hand on the base of the statue and speak the password."
	"Which is?" Harry inquired.
	"Oh yeah.  Sorry.  `To sleep, perchance to dream.'  A stairway
should open up at the base.  There'll be a few beds down there.  The
house-elves don't clean there, though, `cause they can't get in, so please
remember to bring any dirty linens" I gave them a stern look "back up here
for them to get to, OK?"
	They blushed a little.  "All right," Harry agreed.  "Thanks, Matt."
	"Wait.  While you're going down there, can you take some of these
books to the library?"
	"The library's the other way," protested Ron.
	"The Chamber library, you randy idiot," I snapped.
	"Oh."  He flushed.  "Sorry."
	I loaded them with books, and they nearly ran out the portrait.  I
shook my head.  I wish.

	I was still musing when I walked upstairs toward the dormitory.  I
was about to enter the room when I heard a moaning sound.
	"No fucking way," I murmured.  I opened the door slightly so I
could look inside.  Seamus was lying on his bed, wanking away.  The room
was empty otherwise.  I watched as he pulled at his six-incher for a while,
then quietly closed the door and returned to the common room, trying to
stifle my laughter.

	Classes continued.  In Transfiguration, we had to change a desk
into a pig (something I'm told McGonagall did on the first day of class for
first-years).  It was more challenging than I thought, and only Hermione
and I got it right.  To be honest, I only got it right because I got
frustrated and cheated-using my powers instead of those the school teaches.
	Potions was still annoying, since Snape now had access to very
nasty poisons, which he doled out to the students in very modified amounts
for our next potion experiment.  I used gloves, the same as everyone else
there.  No reason to let anyone suspect anything.
	Arithmancy was great, though I'm not a big math fan, I was working
with Hermione when I realized that the formulae to the basic Arithmetic
magics were similar to the formulae for my innate magics, though on a
lesser degree.  She and I spent months trying to figure out the exact
correlation, but couldn't do any more than that.  It was frustrating.
	Care of Magical Creatures was always amusing.  I generally
preferred to sit back during that class and let Hagrid interact with his
students.  I'd already interfered with Harry's relationships throughout the
shool, no reason I should with Hagrid, too.

	Basically, things progressed normally, but my irritation grew.  I
continued to transpose books for the library, constantly bullying Harry and
Ron and Hermione into lugging them down to the Chamber.
	Otherwise, I avoided even mentioning the place to them when we were
alone.  They didn't feel the same compunctions, however, and told me of the
rules they'd managed to write, how Lupin had been added to the Order by
Dumbledore, and that there were five students they were ready to admit.
Two from Gryffindor and one from each of the other Houses.
	I nearly coughed up a lung when I heard they were going to admit
someone from Slytherin.  "Are you sure about that?"
	"Michael had him on the list.  And Dumbledore asked the Sorting
Hat.  The boy got into Slytherin because he wants to prove himself very
badly.  But he's also a very gentle person, so the hat thought of putting
him into Hufflepuff," Hermione explained.
	I shrugged.  "It's your Order.  Admit who you like."  I carefully
began writing another page.
	She hesitated, looking around at the others.  "It's the full moon
at the end of the week, Matt," she began.
	"Yeah?"
	"And we're going to initiate them then."
	"Sounds good."  I kept writing in my book.
	"We'd like you to be there.  You created the Order."  The others
voiced their agreement.
	"Sorry.  Can't make it," I said shortly.
	"Matt, you're important!  You MADE the Chamber!  The least you can
do is be there to admit the first new members to the Order," she hissed,
making sure no one else could hear us.
	"Seriously, Matt, why won't you go there any more," Ron asked.
	"You used to spend hours a day there," Harry added.
	"I'm done with it.  I don't need to go there all the time any
more," I defended myself angrily.
	"'Done with it?'" Hermione mocked.  "You're still filling its
bookshelves.  You're still explaining its secrets to us.  How can you say
you're done with it?"
	"Because I am."  I sanded the page, waiting for the ink to dry.
"This is the final book.  I wrote it myself.  It's all I know about powers
like mine.  That way, in the future, if someone else develops them...well,
he'll know what to do.  Here."  I gave her the book and put away my
supplies.
	"Why don't you put it there yourself, Matt," she pestered.
	My anger snapped.
	"Because I CAN'T" I roared.  There was a blinding flash of light
and a push of wind.  Tables and chairs were knocked over, as were my
companions.  I stood in the center of the maelstrom, with my eyes and aura
both a deep blood red.  "Are you happy now?  I cannot go into the Chamber!
So leave me in PEACE!"  They stared at me in horror as the red light grew
and grew until it filled the room.  Then it vanished, and I with it.
	The three friends looked at each other.  "I'll get Dumbledore,"
Harry said worriedly.
	Ron and Hermione could only stare at the place I'd stood and nod
dumbly.  Unconsciously, Hermione clutched the book I'd given her close
against her breast.