Date: Sat, 08 May 2004 20:13:44 +0200
From: jerichoholic #1 <beer4myhorses@hotmail.com>
Subject: Paul & Josh / chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: The following story is completely FICTIONAL is
does not imply anything concerning the private life of Paul
walker or Josh Hartnett. I don't know them and I don't know
anything about their lives. This story is only meant as
fiction an does in no way describe real occurrences,
situations or facts. All other persons mentioned in this
story are fictional. Any resemblance to an existing person,
business or brand is purely coincidental.


Paul & Josh chapter 5:


The evening had fallen over NY. Josh had been at his
apartment for most of the day thinking about Paul. He had
thought about how supportive, caring and friendly he had
been to him. Earlier in the day the notion had crept in his
mind that there might be more to it then met the eye. He
played the past week over in his mind and there were moments
he started thinking Paul's interest in him went further then
just friendship. But he couldn't find anything that really
proved this notion...He wondered whether his intuition was
right on the money or if he was just seeing things that
weren't there.
While he was lost in his thoughts his eyes fell on the
clock. "Oh shit, I'm going to be late" he thought as he
remembered he was supposed to meet Paul tonight. They had
agreed to get together to rehears the scenes they were
filming tomorrow. They both agreed it was a good idea since
the scenes were quite important in the movie and demanded
their best performances. Josh decided to ignore his doubts
about Paul for the moment cause there was no way he could be
sure and he didn't want to do anything that would ruin their
friendship over nothing. Since they had agreed it was best
for Josh to spend the night in Paul's guestroom he started
packing some clothes and stuff. He agreed this was the best
idea since there was no way they would get their
performances right the first time and it would probably turn
out to be a long night of rehearsing. After he had gathered
his stuff he left his hotel room.
Paul meanwhile, had come home after the filming had been
cancelled and had immediately called his manager. He wanted
to make sure he would never do an interview or anything else
for the tabloid that had ruined the day today. Paul had
always been someone that would take drastic measures when it
was necessary. After having talked to his manager for some
time he had spend the rest of the day memorizing his lines.
From time to time he would think back and remember how hurt
Josh had been earlier in the day. He was glad he had managed
to raise Josh's spirit a bit. When Paul was alone in his
apartment with no-one to talk to he often longed for someone
who he could talk to, someone that would help him out when
he was down, someone that would console him or that he could
help out...someone to love basically. He knew Josh would
never be that person but he was happy he was able to help
out his friend when he was troubled.
Soon the evening had fallen and Paul prepared for Josh to
arrive. When he heard the bell ring he opened the door and
after a few minutes both guys sat down on the sofa and
started reading their lines. The scene they would
film the next day was one of the key scenes in the movie.
Paul's character would open up and tell his best friend,
played by Josh, how he felt for him. Josh's character, still
struggling with being gay, would turn him down the first
time. They read their lines several times from the page but
after a while started focusing on other parts of their
performances such as expression, mimics, gestures, etc...
They used Paul's living-room to perform the scene several
times. Finally they decided to act out the scene one more
time and then call it a night. Paul was relieved cause he
was getting really exhausted, plus acting out the scene was
taking its toll on him emotionally. It seemed his characters
lines were exactly what he wanted to say to Josh if he
could. He wanted nothing more then tell Josh right now how
he felt about him, but he knew Josh wouldn't understand and
end their friendship on the spot. He didn't want to risk
that.

"So you're ready?" Josh asked, referring to acting out the
scene.

"Yes I am" Paul answered. They started their final
rehearsal.

Josh: ...Listen man, you know I'm your friend, but it seems
that every time I turn around...there you are. Why are you
always following me around? What is it with you?...and I see
the way you look at me, what's the matter with you?

Paul: I don't want to talk about it...not yet.

Josh: But we're going to talk about it...We are going to
talk right now. I need to know what is going on with you the
last couple of weeks. I know there's something you're not
telling me, now what is it?

Paul:...you're not going to like this...

Josh:...Tell me anyway, I need to know what it is right
now...

Paul:...Well, we've been friends for quite some time
now...You know I'm very fond of you, and I like you...a
lot...I guess there's no other way to say this then just say
it, I...

Josh:...Don't tell me this is going where this is going..

Paul:...love you

Josh:...What are you thinking...Fuck!...I so NOT need this
right now. Come on man, where's your head. What are you
thinking!

Paul:..It's the way I feel. I can't help it...

Josh:...You have got to be kidding me...Jesus!...Well stop
feeling that way. You can't love me! You just can't!...I
don't need this!...I don't want this...It can't happen...It
just CAN'T!...fuck...

Paul was sweating when they finished their scene. He was
exhausted. Josh was spent as well. They had put everything
they had in this one and it seemed it had paid off.

"Man, you were awesome!" Josh complimented to Paul, "for a
moment I thought it was real man...that was great acting."

Paul smiled nervously. Josh had no idea how 'real' this had
been for him. During the rehearsal their roles and the
acting had slowly faded away and Paul could only think how
much he wanted to let Josh know how he felt about him. But
he knew Josh's reaction would be the same as his
character's. During the scene he had the biggest trouble
fighting his emotions. His love for Josh, his loneliness and
fears all come to the surface during his performance. Josh
thought it was acting but Paul knew it wasn't. He tried to
fight it but he knew he would lose that battle. He
sighed...just loud enough for Josh to hear.

"Hey...are you alright man?" Josh asked.

"I'm fine" Paul answered "just tired, this scene was a bit
too intense"

"I hear ya!" Josh replied "I think it's time to call it a
night, otherwise we're going to regret it in the morning."

Paul showed Josh to the guestroom for the second time. He
walked out to the terrace for one quick smoke before he went
to sleep. The could air felt good on his sweatcovered body.
As he leaned against the railing he thought back to the
evening that had just past. He was emotionally spent and
needed some time to regroup. He knew he was about one step
away of totally giving himself away to Josh. He didn't want
Josh to find out cause he knew he would hate him for it.
Instead he tried to convince himself that at least he had a
good friend in Josh, at least that was something. Paul
couldn't help but feeling alone. Because of his career he
had been to himself for so long now and he was becoming
desperate to end his solitude. He didn't want to be alone
much longer...getting home to his apartment late at night
finding it empty, dark and deserted. But what could he do?
The disadvantages of fame were taking their toll on him.

Meanwhile Josh had prepared to go to sleep. he had made sure
everything he needed in the morning was ready. He was just
about to lay down when he realised he was quite thirsty. He
walked to the kitchen to get something to drink before he
went to sleep. When he opened the fridge he noticed Paul
standing on the terrace.

Since Paul was facing the city skyline he hadn't noticed
Josh entering the kitchen. He was so caught up in his own
thoughts the rest of the world had escaped his attention.
When the cold started to get to him he decided to finish his
cigarette and head back in. While he inhaled the last puffs
of smoke he tried to shake of the loneliness that had been
plaguing him. "Why did I have to fall in love with Josh!" He
sighed.

"What?!"

Paul froze with fear as he heard Josh's voice from behind
him. He turned around to see Josh standing in the doorway
to the balcony. The expression of shock was obvious on
Josh's face.

"You love me?" He stammered.

Paul didn't know what to say. He tried to find some excuse
or explanation to undo what he had just said, but couldn't.
Instead he turned away from Josh. He didn't want to see the
anger in his eyes or hear the disgust in his voice. Slowly
tears started flowing from his eyes. He had feared something
like this would happen and now it had. He waited for Josh to
fall out on him, yell at him...or simply to hear the door
slamming as Josh left. Instead he felt a hand on his
shoulder. Paul was confused. He turned around to see Josh
standing right behind him. Josh kept his hand on Paul's
shoulder as he saw the tears flowing from Paul's eyes. He
looked him strait in the eyes while a little smile formed on
his face. He brought his head down and his lips met Paul's.
he slowly put his arms around Paul as he continued kissing
him.

Paul was shocked. He tried to understand what was happening
but he couldn't. Slowly his confusion faded away as both
guys lost themselves in the kiss that seemed to last for
hours. On that cold NY night, as the wind blew around them,
they had found each-other.

Finally they broke the kiss and Paul looked at Josh who
could help but smile. Paul felt Josh's arms around him, the
warmth of Josh's body but still couldn't understand what
happened.

"What's this?" Was all Paul could say in his confusion.

Josh just looked at him and softly said: "I love you too" as
he lent in for another kiss.

They made their way back in to the living room where they
sat down on the sofa. Josh put has arm around Paul as they
both leaned against one another.

"So...does this mean you're gay to?" Paul asked. He still
had a hard time believing what had just happened on the
balcony. He had expected Josh to lash out on him, to be
infuriated...anything but this.

"Yeah...it does." Josh replied. He couldn't help but smile
when he saw Paul trying to grasp what was happening.

"I had no idea" was all Paul could say.

"Well...in our business it's not something you want to let
the whole world know." Josh replied. He tightened his arm
around Paul pulling him closer to him. Paul was happy to
give in as he leaned closer to Josh. They both looked at
each-other. The love in their eyes was obvious.

"I know we've only known each other for two weeks...and I
know this is soon...but I love you Paul." Josh spoke softly
"I can't think of any other word to describe it. Every
second I've spent with you over the past week has been
awesome and when I was alone in my hotel room, all I could
think about was meeting you again. I like you...I like being
with you."

"I like being with you to" Paul answered, "Ever since we
first met you've been all I could think about...I love you".

Again they couldn't help but look in each others eyes. Josh
flashed his beautiful smile as he saw the spark in Paul's
eyes. Again their lips were drawn to each other as they
kissed. Both guys enjoyed the feeling of finally be so close
together, feeling each others body heat and being able to
let all bottled up feelings loose. Josh slowly leant back,
lying down on the couch. Still locked in a kiss he pulled
Paul with him. Paul adjusted himself placing himself over
Josh who was now laying down on the couch. Paul ran his hand
through Josh's hair, from the first day he had seen josh he
had wondered what it would feel like. The hair-gel had worn
out returning Josh's hair to its natural light-brown color.
Josh couldn't help but smile. Paul moved his attention from
Josh's head to his upper-body. He remembered seeing Josh's
exposed chest in the hotel-room. He looked at josh, just to
make sure they both wanted the same think. Josh smiled as he
stretched his arms allowing Paul to pull the black T-shirt
he was wearing over his head. In-between two kisses Paul
absorbed the site of Josh's exposed torso. 'perfection' was
the only word that came to his mind as he let his eyes gaze
over Josh's well defined chest and the strong outlines of
his abs. After letting go of Josh's lips he slowly kissed
his way down Josh's chest; He tasted the little sweat that
had formed on Josh's smooth skin. He gently kissed Josh's
nipples enjoying to feel them harden between his lips. Josh
softly moaned as he felt Paul's lips explore his chest. Paul
made his way to Josh's abs, covered with a trail of raven
black pubes, which contrasted beautifully with his tanned
skin, leading down to his blue jeans. Paul looked up to Josh
who simply nodded as to give permission. A smile formed on
his face as he raised his hips a little to allow Paul to
pull his jeans off. He raised himself to steal one quick
kiss from Paul. Meanwhile he pulled Paul's shirt over his
head. He admired the well sculpted chest he remembered so
well from 'joy-ride'. Slowly he fell back in the couch as
his eyes met Paul's. Both guys noticed the shine in each
others eyes. Paul turned his attention back to Josh who was
now only wearing his black boxers. The bulge was more then
obvious. Paul brought his hand down and began massaging
Josh's package through the fabric of his boxers. Josh let
out a soft moan as he felt Paul's hand on his crotch. Paul
could feel Josh's member harden under the palm of his hand.
He kissed Josh while his hand kept rubbing the bulge that
had taken his attention. Carefully he let his fingers slip
under the elastic of Josh's boxers, feeling Josh's pubes
against his fingertips. His fingers went further until they
found the head of Josh's hard cock. Josh was leaning back
against the couch. He had his eyes closed while he was
enjoying Paul's attention. Paul slowly pulled down Josh's
boxers, revealing his erect cock. Paul took his time to
appreciate the view. Josh's naked body was even more perfect
than he had imagined. He let his eyes glide over Josh's hard
uncut dick nested in a subtle bush of black pubes. He let
his fingers slide down over the shaft. As he brought his
head down he used one hand to further explore Josh's body.
He had been longing for this ever since he first met Josh
but had never held any hope he'd find himself in the moment
he was in now. Even though he
had never done anything like this before he seemed to know
exactly what he was doing. Encouraged by Josh's soft moans
he brought his head down and closed his lips around the head
of Josh's cock. Josh gasped as he felt the warmth of Paul's
mouth around his dick. Paul ran his tongue down the shaft,
tasting every bit of skin in his mouth. He was lost in the
moment but it seemed his body knew where to go. He put one
hand around Josh's balls, slowly rubbing them while he took
more of Josh's dick in his mouth, gently sucking it as he
went deeper. Josh's breathing intensified as he felt Paul's
tongue and lips work his cock.

For Josh it was the first time as well and it was everything
he imagined it to be. For weeks fantasies about Paul had
plagued him, and now those fantasies were coming true. He
enjoyed every second of it. Meanwhile Paul intensified his
assault on Josh's member. Josh's moans encouraged him even
more to increase the rhythm in which he was sucking Josh's
dick. Soon enough he felt Josh's cock tense up in his mouth.
Josh's let out a louder moan this time warning Paul he was
about to come. Paul closed his lips tighter as Josh blew his
first of five shots into Paul's eager mouth. Paul felt the
warm fluid fill his mouth, sending a wave of warmth over his
body. He tasted Josh's cum before swallowing it down. He let
Josh's softening cock slide out of his mouth as he gently
laid down on Josh's naked body. Josh looked at him, flashing
his bright smile. Both guys still couldn't grasp completely
what had happened between them but they both felt an intense
happiness. Something they had never felt before, but
something they knew was right. Their lips met again and as
the warmth of each-others body spread over their skin they
realized they had found what they had been looking for for
so long.

~ to be continued ~



That's it for this one. Hope y'all enjoyed. Let me know what
you think and keep tuned for the next chapter. Greetz,
beer4myhorses@hotmail.com