Date: Thu, 28 Apr 2005 03:44:16 -0700 (PDT) From: gabriel leven Subject: ricky ullman in love-16 Ricky Ullman In Love Chapter 16 DISCLAIMER: Guess what! This story has absolutely nothing to do with reality. This is a completely fictional story. The words that make the story that follows is not intended to imply anything about Ricky Ullman's or Max Thieriot's true sexuality in any way shape or form. I do not personally know either celebrity or know of any details of their personal lives. This story is completely fictional. Oh yes and if it is illegal to read such material as a factor of age, law, or ordinance....discontinue reading. Please send all feedback to degobln@yahoo.com. ***Okay people....my next story is going to be titled "Justin Searching" It is going to be a sexually graphic story involving Justin Berfield with a different person each chapter...start sending in your requests with who you want me to pair him up with and I will do my best to fulfill it. *FINAL CHAPTER "We are just good friends," I lied through my teeth in response to the questions asked by the man in the khaki jacket. With words still flying in from all departures, we continued our walk to my car. On arrival, we both got in on the same side again, safety in numbers I guess. Driving off slowly, their was nothing I had to say to Max. I almost felt as if I had betrayed him in lying about our relationship. I felt quite low, in not stepping up and claiming what was mine. "I'm sorry," I apologized at an almost whisper. He did not respond right away, instead he just looked out the window at the rain that had barely begun to fall. "It's okay," he said with a shrug of his shoulders, still with a view of the world outside. "No, it's really not, I denied the one thing to me that makes me whole," I sort of argued. Again, from him only silence, and a view of the streets passing by. I completely understood where he would be upset, I would be to an extent. "I'm not mad at you," he said looking to me, "It just bothers me a lot that because of them you had to deny what we have." "I shouldn't have," I stated with strong remorse. He looked forward a moment, seeming to pay his attention to the street while saying, "you just did what you had to do." I did not say anything after this. I got what he meant, he understood where I was coming from, and no other words were necessary. Thoughts however, always come standard with everything. I could not stand the thought of everything that has happened. Love is supposed to be a beautiful thing, and so far it is behind closed doors. In the whole wide world outside closed doors however, it became a stigma, a vicious thought, something to fear and run from, and I hate that feeling now more then ever. I guess the bottom line of the things that bother me comes to this conclusion, I am not doing anything wrong, so should not have this guilty feeling of having done so. "Now what?" Max asked this question for the hundredth time. At this, a small smile crept across my face. With these two simple words that is a phrase as common as common itself, I was reminded of the little things that make this all worth it. "Now I say we go back to my place," I suggested. "I guess," Max agreed in a reluctant sigh. "I'm sick of hiding out too," I stated knowing the cause of Max's disappointment. "I really want to go out today," Max said. "If you want to, we can," I made it aware of my willingness to do anything. He thought about it a moment. A moment to long, but lost and never again found. "Even if we do beat the press, I don't want to walk into a room full of whispers," Max admitted to me. "Okay, then what should we do at home?" I asked. "I don't know, play cards, monopoly, watch movies," he threw a few ideas into the air. "Whatever, anything sounds good to me," I lied in attempting to make things easier for him. Instead of speaking, he replied with a nod and returned to his observation of the storm that had picked up quite a bit since the start of this car ride. Rain fell as if the stage were set for the story of this week. Turmoil, like a mud puddle, has grown with each drop gathered. You know things are bad when you begin to compare your relationship to a mud puddle. Pulling into the garage, the rain stopped to fall as shelter was provided to my car. "Did you see that?" Max asked "Yeah, I sighed. What we both had noticed was starting to become the norm for our every public move. Outside the entrance of my building, their were camped a group of photographers, paparzi, I think. Without any planning, and never prepared we got out of the car and started our short, but long journey to the front yard. My driveway, having been years after being initially paved, was wet with puddles, almost unavoidable as were the photographers. With our first steps upon the slippery grass, we were instantly mobbed. Again questions came from all around, but with no doubt, the number one question I heard repeated was about me, and my "relation" to Max. Again, no answers would be, or could be afforded to the intrusion of these questions. This all is to say, I wasted enough thoughts on these people, I'm not going to waste my words as well. No words, or explanations offered by either Max or myself, we made it inside with as little incident as we could possibly muster. I quickly put myself to work closing the vertical blinds, Max being more relaxed plopped himself on the couch in front of the t.v. "They know," I said to Max, closing the last shade and looking to him. "I know," he agreed putting the remote down and looking at me. I walked over to him, and sat down next to him. Placing my hands to rub my eyes, I yawned and said, "what should I do." I was caught by surprise, with my eyes covered, by Max wrapping his arm around my side and placing his head on my chest. He was silent, but only for a moment then said, "there's not much of anything you can do, just let things happen." With his words, his voice vibrated my inner body, mostly my heart, metaphorically as well as physically. "I love you so much," I said before kissing the back of his head, with the sweet smell of his fruitful shampoo complimenting his softness. "I know, I can hear it with your heart beating," he said with his ear to my chest. "I love you to Ricky." He then, grabbed my hand in his that was free, and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his. Though his head was hard as bones, I found enough comfort in the warmth of the owner it belonged to. It almost seems as if every moment that I touch him, is a great moment indeed. As if in that moment, nothing matters, time or space, I seem to not grow or age. It seems in these moments, I have no time for anything but love. I did not know it until I woke up, but we both fell asleep. On the couch. "Max," I at first softly whispered in his ear. With no response, I resorted to getting a bit louder, and used some shaking. "Hmm?" He asked through a hum as he apparently still seemed to be asleep. "Wake up," I tried again to regain his total attention. After saying this, he opened his blood shot, and very tired eyes to squinting them from the lack of being adjusted to the light. "You should go to sleep in my bed," I requested of him to find comfort. No words as words barely seemed needed for our communication. He just got up off of my tingling leg, and walked his shoes to the door. I walked with him to the end of the hall, and the dark room. Not turning the light on to arouse suspicion, we just lye down, cuddled into our usual form, and quickly fell asleep in the comfort and warmth of each other. I knew his mother said no spending the night on weekday nights, but it's sort of true what they say, what most people are not aware of won't hurt them. ............................................................................................................................................................ I woke up in a cold sweat, my pillow wet, and so was the sheet that draped over me. It was still dark out and I felt Max sitting up, leaning over me with his hand on my head. "Are you okay?" Max asked me. "I just had a weird nightmare," I explained. "Tell me," Max requested. I paused for a moment before explaining my plight, "Before I decided to move here, I looked at an apartment in an old Victorian building downtown. In my dream, this was a whole house, and not an apartment building. I walked inside to see that instead of stairs or floors, their was this huge, dark spiral ramp going up to the top with individual rooms at random spots. For some reason I was looking for you, in the first room, I found the rabbi for my synagogue, preaching against homosexuality. In the next room was my mother, crying for all the lies I told her, in the third room, their was the man in the khaki jacket, looking at me with an evil smile and holding a wad of cash. At the end of this spiral, and at the top of the building, I came out to a balcony. It wasn't night, but very dark, and the balcony was made of what seemed like very old marble. I was alone, and everything seemed cold, and dry. I called your name but the only response was that of my own echo. I felt so alone Max, somehow, in this dream, I lost you and had nothing left worth searching for." In hearing this he immediately had something to say. "I don't ever want to leave you Ricky," He said running his fingers through my rough hair. "I don't ever want to live without you Max," I responded. I got up and threw my pillow to the floor before grabbing another one. I removed the sheet from the bed, the shirt from my back, grabbed another sheet and lay down next to Max. After doing this I had full intentions of going back to sleep, but intentions aside, he had other designs. "Ricky," Max softly attempted at my attention through the shadows. "Yeah," I made obvious my coherence and attention to him. "I always say that I'm to young to think about forever," he started to say but waited for a response from me. "Yeah," I repeated but in a more sincere tone. "Well it's a total lie," he admitted. I tossed and turned until I was facing him, then said, "go on." "Well, when I first fell in love with you, I didn't know what it was that I was feeling, but did know that forever would not exist without you. "I began to say, "so you're saying..." "I'm saying you are my forever, and it's all I've ever been able to think about," he admitted interrupting me. "Max, you are not just my forever, you are that compliment, that idea that makes me whole," I explained to him these thoughts I held in for so long. "I only want to be with you until it is completely impossible to do so." He was silent a moment before asking, "you mean like death?" "No, something more serious!" I said with much emphasis. "Something more serious then death?" he asked with a laugh. "Oh no doubt, death is not enough to keep me from you," I said with a smile not knowing I had this thought until it came expressed through words. "It would have to be the death of my soul, that would stop me from loving you," I tried my best to explain it. He thought a moment in strict silence. "If you're soul dies then mine would die with it." "Really" "Yes Ricky, Really. You are my purpose for living, and if my purpose is lost, then so am I." Sometimes it's hard to believe this charming man was not to long ago simply a curious boy. ............................................................................................................................................................ "Well I'm sorry also," I apologized to my caller then hung up the phone. "What was that all about?" Max asked returning from the bathroom just in time to here my apologize. "My agent," I vaguely answered his inquiry. "Oh yeah?" He said in a questioning manner. "Yeah, he asked me to cut off all contact with you," I bluntly explained the details of the conversation just had. "Really?" He further questioned me. "Yeah, actually he's been telling me to do this since the story first broke on you," I explained further details. "So, what did you tell him?" Max came out and boldly asked. "I fired him," I replied. "No way!" Max exclaimed through disbelief and a bit of sorrow. "I know, but you should know, this was a last resort, I just could not in good nature keep someone's services who repeatedly and selfishly had no respect of my wishes," I explained my drastic action as best as I could. "Well, whatever you think is right," Max agreed. I got up from the bed and walked to my dresser, and opened the drawer. "I'm going to take a shower," I announced to Max. "Are we doing anything today? Max asked me. "Of course," I answered him as if he asked a ridiculous question. "What would that be," Max teased my being a jerk. "We are going to go to a nice restaurant, we're gonna sit down, and we are going to have a nice meal even if it kills us," I made our plans before disappearing into the bathroom. ............................................................................................................................................................ Upon exit of the front entranceway, we were attacked by the press that had stayed all night in the rain. I thought; how unfortunate for them, these poor horrible people have to stand in the rain to make their ill-begotten money. Good! We made it to the garage, unleashing the car down the driveway and to the city streets, leaving behind an embittered mob. "What are we going to eat?" Max asked me. "Are you up for Italian, again?" I answered his question with a question. "Always!" He exclaimed with great enthusiasm. "Quick, get excited about something again," I almost demanded of him. "What," he laughed at this request. "You're so damn cute when you're excited," I winked at him taking my eyes from the road only for a brief moment. He rolled his eyes and pinched my nose while saying, "Not as cute as you." Arriving at the restaurant, it seemed as if the rain was never going to stop. I parked in the back and we walked around the block in hopes of not being noticed, being well covered for purpose of the rain. "Two non-smoking," Max said to the hostess when she asked of our seating preference. This was the best meal I had with Max in what seemed quite some time. The best time out actually. Despite the growing crowd of the usual haunts at the door of the restaurant, we payed no attention and conducted ourselves as if it did not bother us. It seemed we came to a sub-conscious decision to ignore what problems waited on us and only live for that moment. A good moment it was. Conversation was great, and addictive. I could not get enough of talking to him. We talked for what seemed to me only to be minutes, but with the rest of space and time the clock had ticked a good hour. "Ready?" I asked Max after getting the bill. "As ever," he quickly responded. After paying the bill we stood at the door preparing ourselves for what we were already becoming used to. Opening the door, I walked out before Max to the darkness caused by enough flashes to put a Las Vegas casino to shame. Again came the same questions, but this time was very different then all others. The press was getting violent, and this small crowd seemed to surge a bit. I noticed that I became caught up with it, and lost sight of Max. I felt a hand tugging tightly on my shirt from the other side, and just before I was ready to fight it off, I saw that it was Max reaching out for me. I had no choice, and I admit it came so natural that I was not aware of what I did until days later. I grabbed Max's hand, pulled him towards me, and protected him all the way to the car, as cameras began to flash as violently as the crowd surged. In the car, we could not get out, no one was moving out of the way. "Maybe if I just fucking run them all over," I said out of complete anger. Max, knowing the complete idleness of this threat, said nothing and had a look on his face that I've only seen on him when acting in movies. Rage! Pure rage, was almost insanely taking over his face. I could feel immense heat rising from him as his negative energy reached me like an unforseen lightning bolt. It seemed right before he was on the verge of exploding into who knows what, cops appeared and were taking control of the scene. Having cleared a driving path, I nodded at the cop looking at me and drove slowly off. The ride home was just terrible. I felt so damn terrible. I think there are very few things in this world that would make me feel this absolute ugliness that seemed to flow through my veins. Pulling in my driveway, Max sighed through his nose, shook his head and looked away from the crowd approaching my car. In the garage I shut the car off and we sat their for a moment. "Max, you need to calm down," I said to him in a futile attempt of taking control of a situation that was obviously his for the controlling. "No, I don't," He protested looking into my eyes. I could have died from that feeling alone. I could have died from the way he looked at me, to see all this ugliness becoming a sense of being for him. "Okay, at least make me a promise." I asked again. "What?" He sternly asked. "Tell me that you won't say anything you might regret?" I asked him. For a moment I thought he would let up, and not be so angry anymore. For this moment, I was very wrong. "I'm sorry, but I can't make that promise, Ricky," Max apologized. Though he could not adhere to my request, I have to admit my respect for his honesty. In admitting to me that he could not be held back from his next actions he proved to be the better person, though flawed in actions. "Okay, just stay by me," I said to Max as we both opened the doors, getting out of the car. As came the questions I was expecting, I felt Max's anger grow. The rain fell violently immediately soaking us from head to toe, adding much more confusion to this situation then was desired. "Ricky, are you Max's gay lover?" One reporter asked. "Ricky, was that you on the beach kissing him?" Another asked. We continued to fight our way through the crowd, with me in severe hopes of all of this ending soon. I fought with Max all the way to my front porch, all the while I could feel his control slipping as if it were a shared thought. "Max, who was in the picture with you," the asshole in that tired khaki jacket asked again. Max stopped dead in his tracks, silencing the crowd, scaring me. I saw that look in his eyes, as it had worsened into an anger I don't think I've ever had to deal with. He was about to snap, in a way that I've never seen. He opened his mouth, took in a deep breath and almost seemed as if he was going to start yelling when... "ME!" I almost shouted, "he was kissing me." All of a sudden, it seemed every camera in the world was taking our picture, and the questions started flying out of nowhere. I looked at Max who was looking at me with a totally different emotion then the one before. He seemed to be in awe of what I had just done. I on the other hand, was not damaged goods by this situation, I was no longer scared, I no longer cared. A tremendous weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The rain fell from Max's nose and down his face, as a simultaneous smile crept onto both of our faces. We turned for the door, I escorting him by the arm and disappeared behind closed doors. "Why did you just do that?" Max asked with an unreadable laugh. "I don't know," I answered honestly being deep in thought and trying to make total sense of what had just happened. "You do know what you did right?" Max asked of my awareness of what I've done. "Yeah," I smiled. "Then why are you smiling?" Max asked seeming to be a bit in disbelief as to my demeanor and reactions of the situation. "Because, the damage was already done Max, they knew who I was well before I even said a word," I explained to him. "Yes, but I thought we were not going to grant them the privilege of giving them anything to hold against us?" Max further inquired into one of our previous pacts. "I did just that," I said with a nod that was so sure of myself. "How?" He continued to question me. I looked into his eyes, his beautiful, haunting, comforting, perfect eyes and said, "the worse is over, and if the worse is done, they have no more moves, and no longer have anything against us," I said to him with a great smile coming across my face. He stood still for a moment, seeming to make sense of what I just said. I took his hands in mine and rubbed them with my fingers and brought him in for a long hug. We stood their leaning against the wall in my kitchen for a few minutes not saying anything. "So now what?" Max asked that question that spoke to me, louder then words ever could. "Now that I'm in love, we're in love, and there is nothing wrong with it, I think we should just wait for forever to come. "For forever to come?" He repeated in a questioning manner. "For forever to come," I echoed back what I just said. With these words spoken, I kissed Max Thieriot, the other half of this once incomplete soul, as if it were the first time all over again. I kissed him in a manner that made the heavens sing, the earth stop crying, and us, as two people, became one. THE END... IS THE BEGINNING Dear Readers, First I must ask, can anyone properly pronounce "Thieriot"? Had it been up to me and my life depended on it I would be doomed! Second I must apologize for the great many inaccuracies, spelling/grammar errors and scenes where the story just drags on rather then get to a point. I am well aware that my biggest flaw in writing is the constant repeat of phrases. But I guess this has been quite the learning experience. Finally, I have been a fan of Nifty Archive for seven years now. Grown up and 23, I am very glad to have had finally wrote my first Nifty story. The best part of it all is the great response I got from all of you. Thanks for making this a great and memorable experience, and I very much look forward to writing for you all in the near future. Grateful and Sincere, Gabriel Leven degobln@yahoo.com