Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2007 16:47:23 -0800 (PST) From: L meehan Subject: Roman's Customizing - Chapter 20 Jim didn't have good news for Matt. He informed him that legally he lived in Pennsylvania and would need to return home and file his petition there. Most likely because there were no mitigating circumstances, his mother would have to consent to emancipation. He went on to explain to him that Matt would have to prove he was able to support himself. By the time Matt got off the phone with Jim, he was more depressed than ever. >From what he understood he fit none of the criteria for successfully gaining his emancipation. He couldn't see having to wait two years to legally move out and be with Joe. Staying in Indianapolis would just make trouble for himself and his brother. Jim had promised to help make arrangements for Joe to come back to Philly and find a physical therapy facility nearby. Matt went to his job distracted. As much as Joe had protested, he knew he'd be disappointed to hear he was leaving. It felt to Matt like if he left, somehow he'd never see Joe again. By the time he made it to the hospital, Matt put on his game face and tried to give a positive spin to the dismal news he'd been contemplating all day long. He started with Jim's offer to help. Since Joe knew nothing about his plans to become independent, Matt didn't bother to share the bad news. "I'll be going home at the end of the week. I told my manager and I think she's going to give me something extra as a going away present." Matt attempted to sound cheery. Joe smiled and reached his hand out to him. "You know I don't want you to go, right?" Matt nodded his answer for fear he'd break down trying to get the one tiny word out. "We'll be together again real soon, I promise." Matt forced a smile and tried to believe his brother's words. The rest of the evening they sat in silence, holding hands, breaking only when a nurse of some other hospital staffer needed access to Joe. Matt returned to the empty apartment Jim paid for and collapsed on the sofa. He needed to start packing, buy a souvenir or two for Andy, Lou and Lloyd. He needed to gear himself up to face his mother and deal with the reasons he'd been sent away in the first place. He needed to think of his future, a future he couldn't imagine without Joe. The weight of everything, Joe's accident, his own mistakes with his friend Jim, returning home, began to suffocate him. He wondered if Joe had been bearing all the weight of their relationship all this time and had felt the same way. He felt selfish for never considering what all this was doing to his brother. He'd been so concerned with his own feelings, it never occurred to him that Joe had feelings too. Perhaps, he thought, a separation was in order. Matt fell into a restless sleep right there on the sofa; his subconscious mind pondering painful realities that his conscious mind wouldn't dare. He woke to the distant sound of the alarm clock ringing in his bedroom. He stumbled to the room and turned the thing off. He didn't know why, but he dialed his mom. Claire was stunned to say the least to hear from her son. He sounded weary and at that moment she wished she were there to hold him and care for him. He was still her baby. "Mom, I'm sorry," he broke down and cried. "I messed up." "I'm sorry too," was Claire's tearful reply. "I'm not angry at you for being gay. It was just the shock and the way I found out was..." "I know, I know," Matt rushed to cut her off. He didn't want to relive that nightmare again. "I didn't mean for you to...I don't love Jim and I can't face him." Matt knew that was only partly true. He didn't love the boy but he could deal if he had to see him again. "I've been thinking," Claire began. "Me too," Matt answered, summoning the courage to ask one more time to stay with Joe. "Joe's going to need help during his recovery," Claire began. "The garage is doing well and for once we have a little extra so..." For the first time since Joe's accident, Matt was feeling hopeful. "I was thinking of granting Joe temporary guardianship." Claire paused while her son thanked her profusely. "There are a few conditions." Matt held his breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he listened to his mom speak. "I'm coming out there with your school transcripts and getting you into a high school nearby. Joe's friend Jim called me and we talked at length about the ways you could stay with your brother. I think he was right when he suggested that until he could be moved, Joe needs to be with family." Matt was ecstatic that Jim had intervened for him. He wanted to shower the man he'd once been jealous of with a thousand kisses. Matt tried to concentrate, his mom was still talking. "He told me he secured and apartment for you and I insisted on paying him back. My conditions are, if grant Joe temporary custody, you stay in school, get good grades and make arrangements to pay back the money I paid Jim. I know you have a job but I don't want it to interfere with your school work. I want you to learn to be responsible. Joe is going to need someone who can take care of themself and him at the same time. Do you think you're up to it?" "Yes," Matt said enthusiastically, nodding his head wildly even though Claire couldn't see him. "I'm coming on Friday and bringing Andy with me. Jim has drawn up the papers and is going to meet me. Make arrangements with your boss to take the day off because we have several schools to visit." Matt couldn't stop thanking his mother. He didn't stop to wonder how much of her decision was based on not being able to deal with him no matter how much she said she understood and accepted his lifestyle. It didn't matter. He was going to be with Joe. He hurried and got ready for work. His first order of business was to see if he could secure a spot in the evenings after school. He had a learner's permit but he needed a license. He was happily making plans in his head. Joe was going to be his guardian but more importantly, he was going to be Joe's.