Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 20:37:01 WST From: Boogie Boy Subject: Ryan's Intentions VI *This story is fictional and isn't meant to imply that Ryan Phillippe is gay. If you are too young to read this, or if this material offends you, please leave. If not, read on and I hope you enjoy the story (it's fictional- I'm not even in my own country)! Any comments and suggestions, please send them to: boy_boogie@hotmail.com Thank you for all the mail I have received so far, I really appreciate it. *In this chapter I've decided to write add Ryan's perspective to the story. It is going to be written in a 3rd Person POV and will be distinguished from Justin's by a blank line between the paragraph. If it works out well than I'll keep writing for both views. RYAN'S INTENTIONS VI It was such an amazing feeling. So confident, overpowering and secure. Walking with Ryan while holding his warm right hand with my left, fingers clasped between them, made me feel so special and wanted. I just craved to jump up, run around and scream loudly `Hey everyone! I am holding hands with the most beautiful person on the planet, and you aren't!'. I smirked as I imagined myself doing just that and thinking of the reaction people would have had, being woken up by a guy who was yelling about holding Ryan's hand. I let out a small giggle. Ryan looked at me inquisitively. "What are you laughing at?" he asked. "Nothing. You know, I don't think that breakfast in the food hall would be actually serving at the moment." I informed as I held my watch up to Ryan, showing it was only 6:45 am. "Hmmm, I think you're right about that" "Well, why don't we go to your room and see if there is any breakfast in bed available?" I asked flirtatiously. "Besides, I'm cold wearing this robe." Ryan looked at me surprised. `Uh-oh', I thought, maybe I shouldn't have been so flirty and obvious. Ryan seemed to contemplate my request before agreeing. "Sure, come on, it's this way." I glanced around quickly and silently thanked the people asleep who left their curtains drawn for the night. I grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled him towards me quickly. He lost some of his balance and I helped him stay still as I put my hands on his face and drew him in for a kiss. Again, I felt a jolt as our lips met. I suddenly heard a click. Ryan pushed me away from him and looked around quickly and worriedly. "Did you hear that?" he asked me desperately, taking hold of my shoulders while glancing the surroundings. `Why is he acting so edgy?' I thought as I answered him. "Yes, it sounded like a--" I trailed, realising what it was, "a camera. Oh Ryan, I'm sorry, I mean-" "It's okay, we just better go to my room now -- without holding hands." I nodded knowing it was the best thing to do, but I looked up at the sky and the gathering storm clouds matched my mood impeccably. I was angry, or frustrated at least. I wanted to hold Ryan's hand, but doing so in public is not what he needs, for his career. That sounds so ridiculous. Holding a hand can ruin someone's job! I don't wanna do that though. But I want to show him my affection, unlike anyone before. Come on Justin, you're blowing this way out of proportion! It probably wasn't even a camera! Maybe it was just a window, but it is quite early though, and who would want to wake up early on a cruise ship. Especially one this comfortable. I followed the fence on the edge of the ship with my eyes all the way up to it's disappearance behind the bridge of the ship. The floor was made of wooden boards which surprisingly didn't creak. The outer walls to the first class on this top deck were a nice cream colour, with large windows in the place of portholes like the rest of the ship. There was even a red and white buoy hanging between every three windows. A slight wind blew past me suddenly. I shivered. I glanced up towards the clouds and thought that soon it would rain. Thank God we were under cover. Ryan suddenly turned right and into a wood framed doorway. I followed him and realised that this hall was adjacent to he hall where my room was, and I saw the hallway between the halls. The carpet was green while the wall was a pale lime green. Ryan and I walked quietly so we wouldn't wake up any of the other passengers. We got to Ryan's room and he opened the door, stood back, and gestured for me to enter. What a gentleman! "Why thank you Mr Phillippe, that is very hospitable of you." I said as he closed the door behind him softly. I looked around and noticed Ryan's room was almost identical to mine, except the walls were a different colour. "Of course," Ryan began in a terrible French accent, "It is expected of us Mr--" Well, it was pretty cute of Ryan to speak sexily. I grinned thinking about that. Ryan sat down on the couch. "Justin? What is your last name?" "My surname? Why? It's kinda dumb." I stated feeling myself blush. "C'mon, tell me. You know mine! I won't laugh!" Ryan said smirking, his curiosity being heard in his voice. "Its Tyme." I murmured quietly. "What?" He asked holding his hand up to his ear and smiling so cutely. "Tyme." Ryan began to laugh wildly. "Time? Justin Time?" He asked grinning from ear to ear. "No, it's Time with a `Y', not an `I' it's just pronounced like time." I told him, looking down and feeling really embarrassed. "Just-in Tyme." Ryan giggled. My eyes looked up at him while I kept my head down, wishing my face would lose it's redness. "You are so cute when you blush Justin, you know? You're so sexy!" I couldn't believe it. Ryan Phillippe, was complimenting me on my looks. He called me cute and sexy! This only caused me to blush even further. I must have been as red as a tomato. "You know Ryan, you should give yourself some credit too. Look at yourself. You don't know how many people would die to be in my position right now. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, on the inside too." Ryan seemed surprised by the last part of my remark. He smiled, genuinely. God what a beautiful smile he had! Ryan held out his hand gestured me to come sit next to him. I walked over to him and as soon as I was in range, he grabbed my hand and pulled me down. I fell on top of Ryan and slid off of him right next to him. Ryan placed his right hand on my leg and moved his mouth towards my ear. "Sweet nothing." He whispered. "So that's what they mean when they say you want to whisper sweet nothings into your ear." I laughed before he then nibbled ever so gently my lobe. My mouth was wide open and I shuddered. Ryan then kissed me. Our kiss was passionate yet calm, exhausting yet relaxing. His hand began to move up leg and onto my thigh, before it slipped under my robe and again moved along my thigh on my skin. I responded by moving my hands over his hard chest and stomach, and lifting up his jumper so I could get my hands to touch his smooth and well defined abs. I could tell by the moans he was letting out that he was liking it so far. His hand slowly moved over my boxer shorts and grabbed my hardening dick. I moaned as he broke the kiss. My hands were still under his jumper. He looked at me for a moment with such a beautifully innocent face that was asking if it was okay. I simply smiled and squeezed his nipples. He shivered for a moment and just as he seemed to recover I circled them slowly and ran my finger over them. Again, he succumbed to his pleasure. Ryan leaned in toward me again, while my hands played with his nipples and his hand was brushing my cock, and kissed my neck. I stopped all my movement. There was nothing I could do. My neck was my weak spot. I let out a moan of pleasure which I had never even heard come out of myself before! Ryan moved his right hand from my dick and with both of his hands pushed me down so I was laying on the couch and he was leaning on me, passionately kissing and biting my neck. His tongue flicked around it then he would kiss it, slowly bite it and then suck it. I swear, that was pure ecstasy. My dick was now as hard as ever and my hands were hanging by my sides. Ryan leaned his head back for a minute. "You really have a sensitive neck, don't you?" He asked, "It looks like I have given you a bit of a hickey!" grinning that sexy grin of his. I tried to say something but his head suddenly went down and I felt it on my dick. I took a deep breath of surprise and pleasure. Ryan had the head of my cock in his mouth through the boxer shorts. Slowly, he was sucking it and just moving his tongue around in hie mouth and over my head. With his mouth he undid the button, and my throbbing dick stood through the hole. He then leant forward towards my face again and I thought it should be my turn to do something for him now. I leaned up and forward, holding my hands against Ryan's shoulders. "Ryan," I began trying to stop him but he felt so good. `Should I be doing this?' I thought to myself. `On a couch?' I springed up like a lever but I went up too fast. I leant forward too much and I lost balance, bringing Ryan and I onto the floor with a loud THUD. God, I can be a klutz at the worst times! But maybe this time it was good. What were we thinking? "Shit, sorry about that!" I said as we both stood up and straightened ourselves out, breathing heavily. "That's okay, we probably should make a move for breakfast." Ryan said half heartedly. "You mean lunch! I just fell on my breakfast!", Ryan laughed at me before I continued, "Anyway, since it's almost lunch time now, in about an hour, why don't we go down to the pool? There is a café thing there that would have some meals." "Sure, that sounds like a good idea." Ryan agreed. "Great, meet me at my room! I'll see you then!" I said before I wrapped my arms around Ryan's shoulders and kissed him quickly. I then thought to myself maybe it was good that I was a klutz, because things were getting just a little too hot in there. As I exited his room and smiled and waved him good bye, I suddenly realised that wearing my boxers under a robe wouldn't be a good idea. Especially when the button on my boxers is undone! Luckily, no-one saw me as I finally made it to my room. I walked into the bedroom and layed down, hoping for a bit of a lay down or nap. As I layed down I thought to myself what would have happened if I didn't stop before with Ryan? I don't know that much about him at all, and he only knows a little bit about me. This was going just a bit too quick for me, I mean, I only really kissed him for the first proper time a few hours ago! If I'm going to do this with Ryan, then I am going to have to do this properly. I want to love him, not lust him. I thought to myself as I prepared for a shower. `But can I let myself love him?' Ryan sat on his couch, perplexed and confused with a hand against his forehead, reflecting back on what had happened this morning. `Justin told me about his problem, but that can't be all that's happened to him in the last six months ago! It just can't be. I forgave him, when maybe I should have apologised too. Apologised for being too pushy last night. But why did I kiss him? Out on the deck of the ship in the open! And some asshole took a photo. I must have been recognised for a photo to have been taken. That's all I need at the moment. A scandal by the press saying `PHILLIPPE KISSES MAN ON CRUISE'. Justin could accidentally ruin my career! Wait a minute! How selfish were my thoughts just then? I care about Justin, he's been through something, something more than what he will tell me but I care about him. He cares for me. "beautiful on the inside."' Ryan smiled as he remembered what Justin had told him. `Well, sooner or later it was probably going to be found out that I am gay, but why sooner? Maybe it was just a window or something in the ship.' `Stop worrying so much anyway and stop acting like such a self centred prick!' Ryan then began thinking about what had happened forty minutes earlier. `Maybe I shouldn't have come on to him as much as I did. I mean, it was getting very hot, and I didn't really feel sure enough about it. But he is so fuckin' sexy! Thank God he pushed us both off. I don't know what would have happened come five minutes later. Well, I better start getting ready.' Ryan thought to himself as he walked into his bedroom. Ryan looked outside his bedroom window to check the weather before deciding that he would put on some bright red board shorts even though it seemed to be quite cloudy. He put some blue pants over the bathers and a surprisingly warm red tropical shirt over his chest. He stared at himself in the mirror, thinking to himself that he was on the cruise for taking a break, away from Reese and the celebrity life, just for some fun. But he met Justin, who was so cute and sexy, and had that gorgeous Aussie accent. Ryan enjoyed hanging around him but wasn't sure he could be and do all the emotional aspects with Justin. Justin takes things a lot more seriously than I do, or maybe I am not serious enough? But what if he gets the wrong message about our little session earlier? I'd feel so guilty if I fucked him just for the sake of it. Like he said last night, it has to be for love. Sex just seems so empty after so many people. Ryan left his cabin trying to shake away any thoughts of him and Justin as an item, although he both liked and feared the idea. He was afraid of Justin, and what to do in the relationship. All his past gay relationships had mostly been for sex, Scott Wolf and Breckin Meyer came into mind, but with Justin it was more. That scared Ryan. `What am I supposed to do?' But he liked the idea of him and Justin as a couple because of Justin. He was sweet and funny, foreign and mysterious and damn sexy too, with that beautiful tan of his, but he seemed so--so faithless? So tragically passionate about some aspects in life, probably because of what had happened to him with Krystle. But why did he move to America with his mum in the first place? Why was he so eager to get back? Was his mum even on the cruise? `I'll have to find out about what has happened to him, so I can then find out about him, himself.' Ryan reached Justin's door and knocked on it. "Hello, Justin? It's me. Can I come in?" He could hear the water running and Justin's voice so Ryan decided to quietly come into the room and sit on the couch. Ryan noticed how Justin's room was just like hie except flipped around. A pleasant singing voice broke Ryan's thoughts. "...last time really hurt me. I'm scared to fall in love, afraid to love so fast, `cause every time I fall in love it seems to never last. But every time your love is near, and every time I'm filled with fear. `Cause every time I see your face, my heart does begin to race every time." The water was turned off as Justin continued to sing, while Ryan listened intently. "One half wants me to go, other half wants me to stay, I just get so all confused. I'm scared to fall in love, afraid to love so fast, `cause every time I fall in love it seems to never last." Justin stopped singing then but Ryan wanted him to continue. The song was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't remember the artist. Was Justin singing the song about himself? If he was, then Justin was just as confused about them as he was. The way Justin sang that song was so emotional, so honest, Ryan could hear it in his beautiful voice. So Justin is afraid to fall in love so fast? Ryan was sitting on the couch and saw Justin through the bedroom door which was open. Justin had a towel wrapped around his waist and Ryan just stared in awe at Justin's beautifully tanned physique. From his broad and strong shoulders, down to his waist, Ryan was tracing down the muscular lines across his back and sides, his wondering all over the place. `Fuck he is hot!' Ryan thought to himself as he continued to stare. "It is considered rude to stare you know." Justin stated jokingly as he turned to face Ryan. Ryan was embarrassed and began to blush. "I'm sorry. Um, I did knock before I came in, but I was listening to you sing, and it was so beautiful." "You were listening to me? PS, you're blushing." Justin asked, worriedly. "Yeah, um, Justin that was beautiful. You have a wonderful voice. You really should consider a career in music. What song was it?" "It was Every Time, by Janet Jackson." Justin replied, blushing. "Anyway, I did try to get a career in music, and I even had a couple of songs I wrote but they wanted the songs, not me." "Really? What exactly do you mean?" "They said that there were hundreds of people like me, and they said that they were trying to get rid of all the people like me. Then they said `But we really love your songs'. I told them I wanted to sing them myself, not to sell them, but they wouldn't agree to it, so I left." "What place was that Justin?" Ryan asked. "Sony Music." Justin replied grimly. "Did you try anywhere else? I'm sure that there would have been a record company willing to pick you up, I mean, you have the most voice I have ever heard!" "I didn't try anywhere else, and `most voice?'" Justin quizzed, smirking, changing his tone. "I mean, uh, you know what I mean!" "Can I get changed now?" Justin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." Ryan said as he turned around. Justin turned his back to him and Ryan waited a minute before turning around but Justin was just sliding his black board shorts on. `Damn!' Ryan thought to himself as he missed an opportunity to check out Justin's fine looking ass. Those bathers sure look tight on Justin. Hmmmm. "Come on Ryan, we better go to that café and get some lunch or pretty soon it will be dinner time!" "Sure, okay." Ryan replied as Justin took a towel and a t-shirt in his hand. They quickly exited Justin's room and walked down the nice carpeted and classy hallway, out of the double door that lead to the outside area which had two sets of stairs going down to a large pool, and a separate spa too. The café was in a place so that a line drawn from the pool to the spa to the café to the pool would have made a triangle. The wooden floor boards were a little wet and the umbrellas over the tables at the café were open. It was lucky that some of the early cloud had cleared, although there were only about seven people in the area anyway. Justin placed his stuff on a table and told Ryan that he was gonna go up to the counter and get some lunch. As he told Ryan that, he reached for his wallet. "Shit! Justin, I forgot my wallet!" Ryan yelled. "Hey, I can pay for you, don't worry!" Justin said earnestly. "No, I'll get it." "Sure?" "Yeah." "Well, I won't order until you get back then." Ryan simply nodded before walking briskly away! `How could I forget?' `Well, Justin sure seems to like to pay for his stuff! Wait a minute - I'm complaining?' I thought to myself laughing. Since being with Ryan., I had actually laughed! `I could get used to this', I thought as I looked around the boat and leaned on the fence, and saw the sparkling reflection of the sun on the water. "The view is nice, isn't it?" a vaguely familiar voice asked. I nodded my head in agreement until I turned to face the stranger. "What are YOU doing here!?" To be continued... I'm sorry this part took a while to come (and that it also isn't properly indented), but I've started school stuff again. Well, any positive or negative comments, please send them to: boy_boogie@hotmail.com and I hope that integrating Ryan's perspective worked well! I put it in to give a different view on what was happening, but I will still make Justin's POV real, so you (the reader) can be able to tell when he's wrong and stuff. Well, I hope you enjoy it, cause the next part is gonna get interesting!