Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2000 20:17:21 PST
From: Justin's Boy <justins_boy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ryan's Love 19

     ****This story is completely fictional. It is not meant to imply
anything about the sexuality of the real Ryan Phillippe or about any
of the other people mentioned. Nor is it meant to be representative
of the relationship of the real Ryan and Reese.


     "Are you okay?" Ryan's voice was filled with so much concern and love
that I smiled in spite of myself and suffered the consequences immediately
as pain shot throughout my head, centered in the general area of my left
cheek.
     "Hey! Be careful," Ryan warned, noticing the look of pain on my face.
"Just lie still. Here, I got you an ice pack."
     "Thanks," I mumbled as Ryan gently placed it on my face. As he leaned
over me I inhaled the warm, familiar scent of his skin and felt a sudden
rush of love for this amazing man. I reached up and softly touched the side
of his face.
     "What?" he asked, looking down at me with a mixture of worry and love
filling his crystal blue eyes.
     "Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were real," I said softly,
smiling again in spite of the pain it caused.
     "I should be the one making sure you're real," Ryan grinned. "I do, in
fact. Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is look over to make
sure you weren't just some wonderful dream I was having."
     "Well, I won't be a pretty sight when you look at me tomorrow morning,"
I laughed softly.
     "Who said you ever were?" Ryan asked, the familiar sparkle of humor in
his eyes.
     "Oh, thanks. Way to bolster my wounded ego," I sighed in mock despair.
Ryan laughed and leaned forward to kiss me softly on the forehead. The feel
of his warm, soft lips pressing against my skin sent a shiver along the back
of my spine.
     "You don't need an ego boost, and you know it," Ryan said softly. "I
still can't believe that son of a bitch hit you. If I'd have been there..."
     "You'd have done something stupid that would have landed all of us on
the cover of every tabloid in the country," I finished for him.
     Ryan laughed. "Okay, yeah. But I'd have done it out of love."
     "I know. It's over now, though. And I think it's probably safe to say
that Scott Wolf is going to stay out of our lives from now on," I said.

     The night had started out so well. Ryan and I had gone out to a club
and had been enjoying an evening alone when Scott Wolf had arrived and
started to play his usual head games with us. This time, though, he'd
involved Scott Foley.
     I'd felt my spirits sink the moment I'd seen Scott Wolf put his arm
around Scott Foley. After all my friend had been through with his break up
with Simon Rex, the last thing he'd needed was a snake like Scott Wolf using
him.
     "Listen, babe, these two lovebirds really want to be alone right now.
What do you say we head back to my place for awhile?" I'd felt my skin crawl
as Scott Wolf turned on the incredible charm that, despite his personality,
he did possess.
     "Scott, I need to talk to you, right now." I said, jumping up and
taking him by the arm.
     "What? Is something wrong?" Scott Foley asked, a mixture of worry and
surprise on his face.
     "Of course something is wrong. Seth here wants all the guys for
himself, isn't that right golden boy?" Scott Wolf's face broke into an
unpleasant sneer as he looked at me.
     "I need to talk to you, Scott. It's important," I said, ignoring Scott
Wolf as best I could.
     "Go on, you two. I'd like a moment or two alone with Scott," Ryan said.
     "Alone with me? Seth, shouldn't you be worried? I mean, given our past,
it's probably not a wise idea to leave us together like this," Scott Wolf
grinned as he sat down next to Ryan.
     "In your dreams," I'd muttered as I led Scott Foley across the room to
a semi quiet corner of the club.
     "What the hell is going on here?" he'd asked as soon as we were alone.
     "A lot of history and bad blood. You've been caught in the middle,
Scott, and I'm really sorry. He's not interested in you, he's just trying to
hurt me because I'm with Ryan and it drives him crazy."
     "I thought something was a little off. He was all over me the minute I
walked in the door tonight," Scott said. "It was pretty intense."
     "I'm really sorry, Scott. He's an asshole, though. I'm glad we showed
up when we did, otherwise things might have gotten out of control."
     "Seth, I can think for myself, you know. I wasn't going to sleep with
him. I barely know the guy and besides, I've been around long enough to
recognize a player when I see one," Scott grinned.
     "Oh. I.... feel incredibly stupid," I laughed. "Sorry for
underestimating you like that."
     "No problem. Given everything that happened after Simon, I guess I was
kind of putting out a 'I need protecting' vibe. But I'm a big boy, and I'm
going to be just fine. I've learned a lot in the past few months," Scott
smiled.
     Before I could answer I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around,
expecting to see Ryan. Instead all I saw was a fist flying at my face.
Initially I didn't feel any pain, just surprise as I felt myself falling
backwards into Scott Foley and looking up at Scott Wolf, his handsome face
twisted in anger.
     "You son of a bitch! I fucking hate you!" Scott's bitter voice was low
enough not to attract the attention of anyone around us, thankfully. I stood
back up to face him and looked him squarely in the eyes.
     "Are you finished? Or would you like to take this someplace else, where
I can fight back without having to worry about the tabloid headlines?" I
asked, controlling with great difficulty both my voice and my overwhelming
desire to hit him back. "Either way, it won't change anything, Scott. You'll
still be the same transparent person, bitter over screwing up your own life
and trying to blame everyone else for it."
     "Fuck you! I love him. Do you understand that? I love him!" For the
first time, I felt I was seeing the real Scott Wolf, the broken and lonely
person beneath the cocky facade.
     "Then let him go, Scott. You messed up, you hurt him a lot. But he's
moved on now, and he's happy. If you love him as much as you say you do,
that should mean everything to you."
     "I made a mistake. It was just a mistake," Scott's voice was almost
inaudible over the music and the voices filling the club.
     "Well you can't go back. So learn from that mistake and don't repeat it
the next time you fall in love with someone," I said. "And if you come near
either of us again, I'll press charges for assault, do you understand? I've
got a witness, too."
     Scott shot a look at Scott Foley and then back at me. He opened his
mouth to speak, and then seemed to change his mind. He turned and made his
way through the crowd without another word.

     "So, what did you say to him?" I asked Ryan as he sat down on the bed
next to me in our room, his arm around my shoulder, my head resting on his
chest.
     "I told him that he was being an asshole, that I loved you and nothing
was going to change that. And then I told him that I thought he should think
about getting some professional help, if he ever wanted to have a healthy
adult relationship with anyone," Ryan explained, running his fingers through
my hair as he did so.
     "I guess you hit a nerve," I said.
     "If I'd known he was going to take it out on your face...."
     "Don't worry about it. It's over and done with and we've got much more
important things to think of now, remember?"
     "Yeah. We've got a movie to make. It's going to make you a star, you
know. Pretty soon, the name Seth Barnes will be on everyone's lips. I'll be
yesterday's news," Ryan sighed playfully.
     "I know, but don't worry. I'll always remember good old... um....
what's your name again?" I asked, looking up at him quizzically.
     "Shut up!" Ryan laughed. "I'm serious, though. Are you prepared to give
up you anonymity? Because that's what's going to happen."
     "Writers are at the bottom of the Hollywood totem pole, Ry. I won't be
mobbed everywhere I go!"
     "Maybe not, but you won't be invisible, either. It's going to change
your life. Our life."
     "Ryan, are you seriously worried about this?" I asked, sitting up in
surprise.
     "A little," Ryan sighed. "I know it's kind of silly, but I don't like
the idea of sharing you with the whole world."
     "You won't have to. I guess in a way I share you with the whole world,
but it's never felt that way. The guy up there on the screen, the guy that
people sit and watch in the dark, it's not you. You're the guy who's right
here, with me. Everything else is just a public image. My writing is just
like you're acting, it's something I do. It's not who I am. THIS is who I
am," I said, leaning in to kiss him.
     "I love who you are, you know. I think I loved you from the first
moment I saw you," Ryan said when we pulled apart.
     "Ryan, the first moment you saw me I was lying on the ground and you
were standing on my head!" I laughed.
     "Not true! I saw you before we ran into each other. While I was dancing
with Reese. I looked over and there was this angel, right there, standing
across the room from me. I never wanted anything more in my life than I
wanted to walk up to you and ask you to dance," Ryan said.
     "Ryan! You never told me that before," I whispered.
     "It's true, Seth. But you know what? That was just a first impression.
The real love came later, when I realized what an amazing person you were."
     "I love you so much, Ryan. I never thought I'd find anything half as
wonderful as we have. I didn't think it existed outside of fairy tales." I
said.
     "It does, though. We're living examples. And it's only going to get
better. It's going to be fantastic working with you every day."
     "Even when we're grouchy and feeling stressed out over the movie?" I
asked.
     "Especially then, because that's when we'll be able to look at each
other and think 'Wow. Even when I'm in the worst possible mood, I still love
this guy more than life itself.'" Ryan said.
     "For better or for worse," I said, looking into his eyes.
     "Don't forget Happily Ever After," Ryan smiled.


   ****Three and a half months is an inexcusably long time to have kept
everyone waiting for this chapter, and I'm very sorry. I've decided that
this will most likely be the final chapter in Ryan and Seth's story. It's
been over a year since I wrote the first chapter and I've loved every minute
of writing this story. They've become such a real part of my life, and each
and every email I've gotten from all of you has meant more to me than you
could ever know. Thank you all so much for reading Ryan's Love and sharing
with me the experience of creating something that will always be very
special to me.
Send any comments to justins_boy@hotmail.com or justinsboy@yahoo.com