Date: Sun, 26 May 2002 16:08:21 +0000 From: Moon Dancer Subject: Secret Love Disclaimer: This story is fiction, there's no relationship between Ville Valo & Taylor Hanson. Mail your comments/feedback/whatever to tirith_minas@hotmail.com Hope you like it! ~*~Moondancer~*~ -Secret Love- ~Scene 1~ A garden in Helsinki. Tired and a bit tipsy I flopped myself down at a bench outside. I just had to get away from all those people inside. I hated to be in those huge crows of smoking and drinking people with loud music at the background, plus everybody was talking Finnish which I didn't understand, and it became very annoying. Yes, I was in Finland, at some kind of party. My brothers and me seemed the only international artist here, and there were lots of Finnish people who told me they had so many number one hits in Finland, but I didn't know any of them. I placed my elbows at my knees, and buried my face in my hands. I wished I drank a little less so my body wouldn't feel so though. I heard footsteps coming closer, but I didn't look up. Probably it was Ike or Zac. "Hello." I heard an unfamiliar voice saying. It was a low, but also deep, almost sexy voice with a Finnish accent, but not as worse as most other people had. I looked up, and saw a guy I had seen before that evening. He had black hair, it looked like it was supposed to be a mullet, but his hair was too wavy for it, and his piercing blue eyes stared into mine. He had angelic features, but they didn't fit with his eyes, hair, voice and clothes. The look on his face seemed a bit arrogant as he took a drag of his cigarette. I felt his eyes wander over me, and I coughed. Immediate his eyes bored into mine again, and I asked: "Um, can I help you?" He smiled. For some reason that smile sent shivers down my spine. "I'm just hanging around." He said, and again I noticed how deep and charming his voice sounded. He sat down next to me, and pointed his hand into my direction. I took it, and he shook mine firm. "I'm Ville Valo." He introduced himself. I stared at him, feeling his fingers folded around mine, and I just stared into his eyes. He smiled, again, that charming, yet a bit arrogant smile. "Oh, eh, Taylor Hanson." I recovered quickly, and I felt myself blush. Hopefully the darkness would cover it. I let his hand go, and I felt his fingers brush mine. He took another drag of his cigarette, and I watched the smoke leaving his lips. He stared into the darkness, and then he said: "So, Taylor Hanson. You seemed so familiar to me, but I didn't recognize you." "You know me?" "Everybody knows the three blondes singing Mmmbop with their high-pitched voices." He must have seen my face fall, and he said: "Ah well, you can't help it your voice was so high-pitched." I smiled. "Hmm. Are you in a band too?" "Yeah. Ever heard of the band HIM?" I shook my head. "Well, we're not popular in the states." He smiled his beautiful smile again. "So, what you're doing here? You looked quite miserable when I came to you." "I'm just tired and tipsy. I just had to get away from all those people inside." "Inside it's so crowded, eh?" "Yeah." He stubbed his cigarette out, and reached into the pockets of his tight leather pants, took a package of cigarettes out of it, took one, and lighted it. "Do you want one too?" He asked. "No, thanks." It was silent for a moment, and I watched him smoking. For some reason I couldn't watch anything else like him. "So, what kind of music does your band make?" I asked. "Well, I like to describe it as "Lover-rock". It's a bit like black metal, but more rock with poppy influences. I think myself it's very romantic. I hate materialistic music." "Sounds cool to me." "If you want I can get you a copy of our newest album, Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights." "I'd love to." I smiled. "TAY???" I heard Zac yell. "Yeah?" "We're going back to the hotel." He yelled, and made a gesture with his hand I had to come. Then he disappeared back in the house. I sighed. "Well, I have to go. It was nice talking to you." "The same here." I climbed to my feet, and he did too. He wasn't much taller then me. "Bye." I said, nervous because his eyes were staring into mine, and then he said with his deep voice: "Bye Taylor." He took a step forward, and before I knew what he was doing, he pressed his lips at mine, kissing me gently. He smiled, and walked nonchalant away. Confused and bewildered I touched my lips, not believing it really happened. But it did happen. This man, who seemed ten years older then me, with Angelic but also devilish features, had really kissed me. I heard Zac yell again, and with shaky legs I walked to the house. Before I went inside I turned around, to catch a glimpse of Ville, but it was too dark to see him. Everything I could see was the small burning dot of his cigarette. Quickly I went inside where Ike and Zac were waiting for me. I went to them, and Ike asked: "Are you okay? It seems like you've seen a ghost." "I'm okay." I said, hearing my own voice quiver. "Okay, let's go." Ike said, and we went back to the hotel. ~Scene 2~ A few days later, in the streets of Helsinki. I was shopping with Zac, trying to get my thoughts on something else then the mysterious man that had kissed me. I hadn't told anyone because I didn't know myself what to think about it. I was very confused, but I had to admit I had liked it. It was very hard for me to be honest to myself, and admitting I liked it. I had been dreaming about Ville a few times, and now I wanted to see him again. But, did I really want to see him? Or did I just want to forget Ville? Probably I had no choice, and I would never see him again. "Hey, let's go there!" Zac's voice startled me from my thoughts. "Where?" I asked tiredly, expecting to be dragged to another clothing shop, to find that special t-shirt Zac wanted. I was surprised to when I saw him pointing to another shop. "A sex shop?" I asked surprised. "Yeah, I need condoms." He said, and started to walk to the shop. "Zac!" I called, but he ignored me, so I followed my little brother to the sex-shop. "What if any fans see us?" I whispered as we were inside. "Shut up Tay, we're just living our life." I protested some more, but I did follow him through the shop. "I would love to work here." Zac grinned. "I think you'll get used to it." I answered. "Ah, condoms." Zac yelled happily and walked to a shelf with them. "Yeah, you get used to it. Perhaps that's the reason why I like males too." I heard a voice behind me, and before I had turned around I had already recognized the deep, sexy voice. "Ville?" I asked my eyes meeting his piercing ones. His lips curled into a smile. "Taylor." I felt myself grow hard, and I knew for sure it wasn't because of all the pictures of naked chicks around me, but because of him. "You work here?" I heard myself saying. "Well, I'm helping my father. It's his shop." He explained. "You know each other?" I heard Zac ask. "We met a few days ago at a party." Ville answered. I stared at him, at his beauty, not able to stare at something else, even if I wanted to. "The party where Taylor left like he had seen a ghost?" Zac asked. "Guess so." Ville said, his eyes not leaving mine. "Well, I like to pay for this." Zac handed him the condoms, and we followed Ville to the pay desk. Zac paid for the condoms, and we wanted to leave, but by the door I heard Ville call my name. Zac had already left the shop. It felt like an electric shock was running through my body, and slowly I turned around. "Yes?" I asked. "Wait a second." He went to another room, and a while later he came back, and handed me a CD. It had a picture of Ville at the cover, holding a cigarette, and his hair was longer as it was now. His slender fingers brushed against mine as I took it, and as I stared at him, he said: "I promised you our CD." He smiled. I remembered our conversation about music, and I nodded. "Thanks. What do I owe you?" "Nothing. It's a present." "Thanks. Well, I have to go." "Bye Tay." He said, and he reached up to my face, and I felt his cool fingers stroking my hot cheek, and quickly he kissed me again. I felt his fingers running through my hair, and then I hear Zac calling. "I... Uh..." My voice faltered, and my tongue got numb, so I wasn't able to say anything. "Bye Taylor." He smiled, and I nodded. "Bye." I whispered, and left the shop. "Man, what took you so long?" Zac asked. "I...um..." I tried to find an excuse, and I looked at my hands, seeing the CD I was holding. "He promised me this CD." I said, and held it up. "Right." Zac said. That afternoon we shopped some more, and then we went back to the hotel. ~Scene 3~ The afternoon the next day, in Tay's hotel room. Hugging a pillow to my chest and with my headphones on I lay in my bed, listening to Ville's band. I was not really into rock music, but this was really good. I listened to the ninth track, called 'beautiful'. Ville's sexy voice sang close to my ears, making shivers run down my spine, and I closed my eyes, seeing images of Ville kissing me again. Quietly tears ran over my cheeks, and I wiped them away. What was going on? Why was I longing to feel the lips of that mysterious man at mine again? And what if Zac had seen him kissing me? Suddenly I felt someone jerking the headphones off my head, and I let out a surprised yelp. It was Zac, staring at me with a worried look in his chocolate brown eyes. Quickly I wiped all the tears away, and asked: "What?" "I don't know what's going on, but it seems you've got some serious problems." All I did was shrug. "Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. "You have to do something. I hate to see my brother crying." "I'll try to get rid of my problem." "Great." I sat up, and he patted me gently at my back. "See you later." He said, and left the room. I put my shoes on, and left the room. I grabbed my coat, and not answering my father's questions about where I was going, I left the room. I went down with the elevator, and left the hotel. ~Scene 4~ In Ville's father's sex shop. After a couple of hours wandering through the streets of Helsinki I found myself in front of the sex shop. Probably the people passing by would think I didn't dare to enter, but that was not my problem. I took a deep breath, walked the few steps to the door, and pushed it open. I hadn't expected any other people there, but there was a guy. I gasped as I saw Ville, and waited until he was ready helping the guy. While I was waiting I started to think. What was I doing here, and what was I going to tell him? I found Ville very attractive, and I had never fallen in love before, but now I knew I was falling in love with him. He was so beautiful, but wasn't it wrong to fall in love with him? Was I gay? And did he like me, or was it just a game to him, kissing me? I kept staring at my feet as the guy left, and I desperately tried to find the answer to these questions. "Taylor? What can I do for you?" I heard his voice close to me. I looked up, making eye contact. "I... I don't know..." I whispered, not able to say more, and I felt my cheeks getting wet. Fuck, I was crying in front of him. I heard him gasp, and he walked quickly to the door. I was thinking he was going to leave, because I was acting like a baby, but he locked it, and came back. Ashamed I buried my face in my hands, but he gently pulled them away, and took one in his, leading me through the other door, and led me upstairs, to a room. He flashed the lights on, and I looked around. "Sorry, but my old room is the only place we have some privacy." He said. I nodded and looked around me. It was exactly a room I imagined Ville to have. It was dark, and the bed had black satin sheets. There wasn't much furniture in it, only a closet and an empty desk. Ville sat down at the bed, and patted at the spot next to him. I sat down, sobbing quietly. "What's wrong, honey?" Ville asked softly. "It's just, I don't know what to do..." I mumbled. I looked up, and although my vision was blurred by tears, I could see him very clearly, and the sympathy at his face too. He took a hanky, and wiped my tears away. "Tell me please." "Well..." I let out a shaky sigh. "I think I...I..." Ville looked at me, patiently waiting until I found the words to translate my thoughts. "I really like you..." I thought for a moment, and sighted again. "No, I think I'm falling in love with you. You're so beautiful and sexy, but I'mafraidtofallinlovewithyouandIdon'tknowifyoulikemeandI..." I rambled. And then the tears started to flow again. Ville wrapped his arms around me, embracing me tight. A bit unsure I putted my arms around his slender waist too and cried softly against his chest. I was aware of every single thing. Of his chest rising when he took a breath, his heart beating in a fast rhythm, his breath in my neck and his lovely smell. "I'm so scared." I whispered softly. I felt his slender fingers running through my hair, and he whispered: "There's nothing to be scared off." Slowly I calmed down, and the tears stopped. I didn't pull our of Ville's warm embrace. It felt so save and warm in his eyes. "Tay?" I heard him ask. I pulled out of his embrace, and made eye contact. "Yeah?" "Are you okay?" "I guess so. I'm sorry, I'm such a baby." I apologized ashamed. "No need to feel sorry or to be ashamed, you just showed me some of your emotions." He was a while silent, and then he spoke again. "I really like you too, Tay. More than liking. I never have felt so much for a person I met just a few days ago, and it scares me too." His fingers stroke my face tenderly. "But I really want to start something with you..." I looked questioning at him. "A relationship, honey." He smiled. I smiled too, and closed my eyes slightly as I felt his fingers running through my hair, tenderly stroking it. "So, what do you think?" He asked. "I love to." I opened my eyes again, staring into his. I moved a bit closer to him, and he to me. For the third time our lips met, but this time wasn't it just Ville kissing me, I kissed him too. A bit unsure my lips moved against his, gently kissing. I moved my hands up to his face, tenderly stroking it. The skin on his chin felt a bit shaggy, but I loved it. I felt his tongue licking my lips, and I opened them slightly, giving him access to my mouth. Gently his warm, soft and wet tongue slid inside, first teasing mine a bit, but then kissing me passionate. I lost all my worries, my shyness and pushed my body close to his. He wrapped his arms around me, almost pulling me at his lap. Then he pushed me slowly and gently down at the bed, still kissing me. My fingers were tangled in his hair, and I couldn't stop kissing him. I felt his hard member pressing against my thigh, and I knew for sure he could my hardness too. I moved my hands from his hair to his back, rubbing it gently. "Oh Tay." I heard him moan. "We have to stop." He whispered between kisses. "Tay?" He asked, his lips disconnecting from mine. "Yeah?" I asked, not really understanding why he wanted to stop. He sat up, and straightened his clothes a bit. I sat up too. "It's amazing how you can change. First so miserable, and then so... horny." I blushed. He stroke my hot cheeks, and I pushed my head a closer to his hand. "You're cute when you blush, you know that?" "No." I blushed again. Ville smiled. "You're cute when you smile, you know that?" I asked and grinned. "Why did you want to stop?" I asked. "Well, I didn't really WANT to stop, it was better if we stopped. We need to talk about stuff, Taylor." I nodded. "There's nothing wrong with being gay, Taylor." I nodded slightly. "You're afraid about your parent's reaction, right?" "Yeah. They think being gay is wrong." Ville shrugged. "Stupid people. I really like you..." He said, and reached up to my face again. "God, you're so beautiful. I wouldn't be surprised if you were an angel." He said, and I felt my cheeks get red again. "I think I have to go back to the shop. I have a free day tomorrow. Feel like doing something?" "Yeah, sure." "Meet me tomorrow at 10 o'clock in front of the shop, okay?" "I'll be there." "Okay." He smiled, and we went downstairs. We kissed one quick time, and I left, feeling happier then I had in a long time, and really looking forward to the next day. ~Scene 5~ The next evening in Ville's apartment. We had spent that day together, and Ville had taken me to his apartment. We sat close to each other at his couch, watching TV. I slid my arm around his waist, and he smiled sweetly. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I didn't dare... So I waited for him. There wasn't any thing nice on the TV, so he turned it off, and looked at me. He slid his arms around me, and pinched in my side, which felt very ticklish, and I jumped. "Ah, you're ticklish." He grinned devilish. "No... Ville, No!" I laughed as he tickled me. Laughing I felt at the floor, pulling Ville with me. He landed on top of me. "Hi there." He said smiling. "Hi yourself." I replied, and he bent his head, and finally he kissed me. I loved to feel his lips at mine, and I pressed his head closer to mine. I tangled my fingers in his hair, and then I slid my hands lower, over his back, and snaked under his shirt. I ran my hands over his warm back, and I felt his hands roaming over my chest too. "I don't think I showed you the bedroom yet, eh?" He asked. "No." "Interested?" "Oh yeah." I grinned, and Ville climbed to his feet. He helped me to get up too, and I followed him to his bedroom. "Wow, nice." I said as I entered it. "Thanks." Ville smiled. He took a lighter, and lighted some candles. He turned the lights off, and I ran to him. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him passionate. "You're such a good kisser." I gasped as we pulled away. "So are you." He smiled, and then he leaded me to the bed. He sat down at my lap, and licked his lips sexily. "You already look sexy without doing that." I grinned. He took the hem of my shirt, and pulled it off. "Why are you wearing so many clothes?" He pouted as he saw my black wife beater. "It was cold this morning. I replied, and took my wife-beater off too. "Oe, sexy!" Ville yelled childish, and pushed me down at the bed, pressing soft kisses at my chest. I moaned softly, and my fingers moved to the buttons off his shirt, slowly unbuttoning them one by one. Finally I had unbuttoned them all, and Ville sat up. He threw his shirt to the floor, and said with a hoarse voice: "Touch me." I moved my hand to his chest, gently touching his warm skin. "Nice tattoo." I said. I knew his left arm was covered by a tattoo, and the little heart at his right wrist, but I hadn't seen the one at his abdomen and the one around his nipple yet. He flopped himself down next to me at the queen sized bed, and asked: "Have you done anything like this before?" I turned my body a bit, so I could face him. "No. You?" "No. Only some kissing... Want to..." He looked deep into my eyes, and I nodded. "Yes. I want to." I said, being really sure about it, more sure then I had ever been in my life. I didn't know what it was, but I felt so much for Ville that I wanted to have sex with him. "How about you?" "I want to do it too, my beautiful." He answered. I smiled, and moved my hand to his chest, tenderly stroking the skin. I traced the tattoo around his nipple, and asked: "What does this tattoo mean?" "Well, it's a key, and I love music, and it looks like an 'S', which reminds me of the word 'sex'." He smiled. I kissed his nipple, and ran my tongue over it. Ville moaned, and his beautiful voice excited me more. I continued to kiss him, and I lowered my tongue, making a wet trace over his chest. "And what does this one mean?" I asked while kissing the tattoo at his abdomen. "It's the logo of our band, and it's a bit a decoration for what's beneath." I blushed as I glanced at the lump in his pants. I was curious how Ville would look like naked. I felt Ville's hand at my back, and it slid slowly down, gently rubbing my ass. I lay on top of him, my lips finding his again, and I let him feel how excited I was. He moved his lips to my neck, gently sucking at the skin. I moaned softly, and I knew there would be a hicky the next day, but I didn't care. He gently scraped his teeth across the tender flesh, and I felt his hands at my back, sliding down to my ass, and then his finger slipped under the waistband of my pants and boxers, laying his hands at my ass. I moaned again, pressing the lower half of my body closer to Ville's, and nuzzled my face into his neck and soft hair. One of Ville's hands left my pants, and slid between us. It moved to my pants, and he unbuttoned and unzipped it. Then his hand moved back and started to massage my ass. "Oh Ville." I moaned, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him as I grew more excited. He pushed me off him, and pulled my jeans off. He stared at the lump in my boxers, and stroke it gently. I moaned loud, and reached my hand to his crotch, grabbing it. He let out a moan, and tumbled on top of me, our hands at each others crotches. Ville's lips kissed me passionate, and just like he had done to me before, I pushed him off me, and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He wasn't wearing any underwear I noticed as his large, beautiful cock appeared. He raised his hips, and roughly I pulled his pants off, and then I wrapped, gently and careful, my hand around his throbbing, erect dick. I felt his body starting to tremble under my touch, and he let out a loud moan. He rolled his head back in the pillow, heavily breathing. I moved my head to his dick, pressing a kiss upon his cock. Then I slid my tongue out of my mouth, gently licking. I tasted the pre-cum coming out of the slit, and then I took him in my mouth, wanting to give my baby the ultimate pleasure. And it seemed I did, because only seconds later I felt all his muscles tense, and while he screamed my name, he shot his load into my mouth. I choked, and Ville just lied there, recovering, completely relaxed, breathing heavily. He looked up, and with a beautiful smile on his lips he reached for me. He pulled me next to him, embracing me tightly, his naked body against mine. "That felt so good." He whispered. I felt his slender fingers running over my body, touching me everywhere, while he whispered sweet things into my ear. I didn't know he had pulled my boxers off until I felt my dick pressed against his naked skin in our close embrace. His fingers were at my ass, pressing me closer against him. Our tongues found each other again, playing a passionate game together. I was rock hard, and Ville's dick was stiff again. "Hmm." I moaned softly. "Tell me what you want, I'll give it to you." He whispered hotly. "I wanna..." I hesitated. "What?" He asked with his lips against mine. "Fuck me." He stopped kissing me, and looked at me with a fire of lust, and maybe some love burning in his eyes. "Are you sure? That might hurt..." I nodded. He looked surprised, and lay his warm hands at my cheeks. I closed my eyes, and took one of his hands, and pressed a kiss against it. "Yes, I want you to fuck me." I said loud, and opened my eyes again. Ville smiled, and reached to the nightstand next to his bed, and took something out of it. It was Vaseline. "Let me do that." I said as he wanted to rub it on his dick. I took the Vaseline, and rubbed it on his dick. When I finished he sat up, and sat down behind me. I got on all fours, and I felt him putting the Vaseline at my asshole, slowly entering it and lubricating my tight tunnel with one finger at first, and then he let another finger join. Then Ville started to push his dick inside me, and I patiently waited until he had filled me totally. It felt a bit painful, but also really good. He was gasping, and reached for my dick. I let out a moan as he touched the tender flesh of my hot and stiff prick. Then he started to move in a steady rhythm in and out of me, while his hand worked in the same slow rhythm. I moaned loud, feeling I got closer to my climax, and not expecting a dick in my ass would feel this good. Ville's moves sped up and more and more, obeying to my whimpers 'more' 'faster' and 'harder'. I moved with him, loving the feeling of his balls slamming against my ass, and the soft dark pubic hair against my ass. I came just a few seconds before he let out a cry, and collapsed on top of me. I collapsed too, falling down at the bed. I pulled his hot, sweaty body close to me, embracing him as tight as possible with my exhausted limbs, and so did he. He kissed my lips tenderly and like that we fell asleep. ~Scene 6~ The next morning in Ville's bedroom. I woke up by the sound of a phone ringing. Sleepy I opened my eyes, and felt I was lying closely against Ville with my arms around him, and he with his arms around me, and I smiled as I remembered that night. Ville reached his hand to the phone, keeping his eyes closed, and answered it. He started to talk in Finnish, and opened his eyes. He smiled to me, and started to ran his fingers through my hair. I nuzzled my face in his neck as he called, inhaling his smell. He smelled a bit like aftershave, and sweat. Not much later Ville finished calling. He kissed me, and said: "That was my dad, calling from the shop. Your brother was there, asking if you were with me. He was worried about you, ya know. I told him you were here." "Oh." I kissed him, and then I remembered we had to leave Finland today, and had to go to the states again. It hurt very much, knowing I had to leave Ville. I didn't know him very long, but I loved him very much with whole my heart. "Ville honey, I have to leave today. We have to go back to the States" His smile fell. "Really?" "Yeah. I wish I could stay longer." We embraced each other tightly, and kissed. "Oh, I wish you could stay with me forever. Tay, I love you." He said, and I reached to his face, stroking it tenderly. "I love you too honey. I wish I could stay too." I said, wishing again that I would be a normal person, not a celebrity, that could be gay and have a relationship without someone caring about it. We embraced each other tightly, enjoying the last moments we spent together. We both knew we wouldn't see each other again, and that our would be our secret forever. END