Date: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 01:30:10 +0200 From: Dimitris Nikolopoulos Subject: Slutty X-Men Chapter 1 Disclaimer: This story contains (or will contain in the next chapters) consenting gay sex, and even when there is no hardcore sex described the plot and story will generally be about gay or gay-friendly characters, so if you're not interested in those kind of stuff you should stop reading now. The story is a complete piece of fiction and doesn't imply anything about the sexuality of the bunch of merry mutants, whose copyright belongs to Marvel and Fox (for the movie version). This is a story set in the X-men Movies Universe (aka Movieverse). However, I might use X-Men characters that hadn't been seen in the movies, but only in the comics. If you haven't read the comics there's no need to worry about not understanding stuff, since I will re-introduce those characters and won't use traits that they had on the comics. The story is about a new bunch of mutants in the Xavier Institute and their crazy and horny adventures, but the real X-Men will also be used a lot. I intend to write this story in soap-opera style but there won't necessarily be angsty and all about sad and tragic events, since I'm mostly oriented at writing comedy. I mean, there already many stories about new, gay mutants that join the X-Men here in Nifty Archives and I liked them all, but they also inspired me to write a similar kind of story with a whole new, less serious perspective! The story is set a couple of months after the events in X2, so Jean Grey is dead, Nightcrawler's in the team, etc. It will be narrated from the main character's point of view. The POV might change in later chapters if I think it's necessary for the plot to unfold. Any comments, criticism and suggestions about new subplots and characters are totally welcome! Just e-mail me at: Mitsaso_X@hotmail.com or Mitsaso@gmail.com SLUTTY X-MEN Chapter 1: Burning Down The House I was having a very naughty dream. It involved a hunky, mysterious stranger with a big cock and my seriously eager and motivated tongue. My tongue traveled all the way from the gorgeous, square jaw of the aforementioned mysterious stud, all the way down to the valley between his bulging pecs, even souther to his rippling abs and hairy, defined treasure trail...all the way down to my special treat for tonight: a big uncut schlong that could only rise up by the magical touch of my ever-hungry tongue and its special, patented nourishment. Of course I realized it was only a dream. Only in dreams you can meet perfect, square-jawed strangers and get down and nasty with them without even exchanging a couple of very-much needed words such as "hello", "what's your sign" or at least a "Wanna fuck?" that could logically make the progression to the current raging cock-sucking. But hey, nobody tries to look for logical continuity in the horny dreams of someone who seriously needs to get really laid. I deep-throated the guy with such eagerness that his pubic hair were getting in my nostrils, making it hard to breath through them, considering that my mouth was already too busy to be used for breath. But since it was a unrealistic dream I wasn't gonna die from choking on a big cock, right? So I just kept sucking with added pleasure, as I traced the stranger's anal entrance with my sneaky little index finger. I found out that his asshole was already relaxed and lubed up, so I looked up and smiled to him with an evil gleam in my eye. It's really cool when the unrealistic nature of someone's dreams gets used to make the dream more convenient. I pulled the stranger's sculpted legs and placed them on my shoulders, as I made sure that the tip of my enraged cock was touching the entrance of his pink, gaping little asshole that soon wouldn't be that little anymore. I prepared myself to push all my cock in at once and make the manly little square-jawed bitch scream like a not-manly-at-all little girl. But noooo, it seemed like this was the perfect moment for a screech-like voice to wake me up. Darn. "BURN THE MUTIE!!!!!" I opened my eyes and found myself tied up like a salami on a big wooden pole that was protruding from a big pile of chopped wood. A large, angry crowd was gathered around me and screamed obscenities of all kind. My current situation made it apparent that they had much bloodier plans ahead than just lynching me and get it over with. I looked down on myself in order to appraise the situation. My hands were tied behind the pole and a big rope was snaked around me all the way from my neck to my ankles, covering my whole body. That was actually good, because it was hiding the hard-on that my filthy little dream had just caused. There's no use in getting humiliated on top of being lynched or whatever these kind people had in mind for me. "BURN THE MUTANT SCUM!!" "YEAH, BURN HIM!" Now that was uncomfortable. I never liked being in the center of attention anyway. And I certainly seemed to have the attention of all these nice, bigoted little people. Wait a minute. Big, wooden pole? Chopped wood? Did these people intended to burn me on the stake? Oh come on, that is such a cliche!!!! "C'mon people, what do you think this is? Fucking Salem?" I yelled at them. They could at least kill me in more original and creative ways. "Actually, this place is called 'Salem Centre'. Just so that you would know...." a kind, middle aged woman form the crowd informed me, before adding: "...you filthy mutie." "Oh, now, why should you all be such hostile individuals? Can't we all sit down and talk about this ina civilized manner while drinking a cup of tea?" mouthed out in exasperation. "No, not really. we'd rather watch you burn down and then go home and watch TV. 'Passions' is on in 15 minutes, there's no time for chit-chat!" Another middle-aged woman informed me with scary sincerity. " "A cup of tea? What the fuck do you think we are, British??" a teenage boy shouted at me with extra venom in his voice. Thank God I wasn't English, or else I would have been really offended by that. "What did we agree about using such filthy language in the presence of strangers, young man?" the teenager's mother scolded him right away. "Sorry Mom." he responded, blushing and looking at the ground. Great. They are about to burn alive a slightly innocent person just because he's a mutant, yet they still care about language rating issues. Fucking Great. Well, at least that gave me an idea. "Fuck you!!! Fuck you all, you stupid humans! I'm gonna rape your mothers and make you eat the shit straight out of a horse's ass! I'm gonna get you cocksucking assholes a reason to fear mutants!!!" A bunch of shocked mothers started putting their hands on their children's ears to make sure that this evening wouldn't be a traumatic experience that would mark their lives for all eternity. "Oh, just burn him already!" a young mother that held a five-year-old yelled at a hooded figure, that was apparently the guy that was supposed to set me on fire. "Quick, before my little boy sees or hears something too heavy for his young, tender age!" she added, as her little boy pointed at me and giggled teasingly. The hooded man grabbed a litre of gasoline in one hand and a handy little torch in the other and approached me. "Any last words?" he said with a smirk (which wasn't visible since the hood was covering it anyway). "Yeah. Your momma sucks cock in Hell!" I screamed hysterically. More mothers gasped in shock and tried to shut the ears of their giggling little brats. "Famous last words." he whispered angrily as he searched his pocket for something. "What the hell are you looking for?" I asked, trying to make some chit-chat and treasure what seemed to be the last few moments of my life. "A lighter" he answered as he kept looking at his pocket. "A lighter? What do you intend to use that for?" "Light the torch." he said indifferently. "What? You're gonna light a torch with a lighter and THEN torch me with it? Why not use the lighter straight away?" I was furious by that moment, furious that I was going to be killed by a bunch of really stupid people. How degrading was that? "The torch makes it more dramatic" he smirked. "More idiotic, you mean! This is the fucking 21st Century! Torches have no fucking place in the 21st Century!!" "Watch it with the language, mutie. You make the ladies upset." "Well, they're gonna get me killed, shouldn't I repay them with some oral violence from my side?" I said, and then yelled to a random old lady in the crowd: "What are you looking at? Go fuck your dog!" The hooded man stood up and grabbed me from the neck: "You know what your problem is? You're not just a mutie, you're also so damn immature! Grow, up, will ya?" "It's not like you guys are giving me ANY chance to actually grow up." I shot back, as I motioned him to the ropes around me. "Voila!" He sang, as he finally found the lighter he was searching for all that time. "Kiss my ass goodbye, mutie-boy" "WAIT...!" I screamed at the hooded man. "There's...there's a mutant ninja Drag Queen right behind you and she's about to strangle you with her feather boa!!!" "Yeah right. And my real father is Elvis." he mumbled as he lighted his torch. That was when the drag queen that was standing right behind him snapped his neck with her killer feather boa, saving my life. "Hello, handsome." she winked at me. "Missed us?" I smiled at her although I tried to pretend that I was mad at her. "Dammit, Lola! What took you guys so long?" "Nu-uh-uh, snugglecakes! Only codenames during X-Missions, okay? So that makes it Glitter Princess to you!" she said and flashed me her Colgate-child smile. "You look quite hot in all this bondage stuff, you know". "Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes as I used my own mutant powers to escape from my bonds. My hands above the elbow instantly turned into katana swords, slashing away all the ropes that held me hostage within seconds. I looked around me and I saw that my teammates were already taking care of the lynch-mob that had been gathered around me. "I wonder why you didn't do that from the instant you came to your senses, Dave!" another one of my teammates, Monique, asked as she used her telekinesis to give wedgies to all the dangerous-looking people in the crowd. At least twenty bulky males from the crowd had their underwear mysteriously pulled up until it covered their faces...all at the same time! "My random knowledge power informs me that he simply wanted to buy us some time so that we would get to kick some bigoted human ass too!" Frank enlightened her as he bashed in the head of a Uzi-wielding old lady that had apparently escaped Monique's attention. "You all is a bunch of show-offs!" was all that Jerry could comment with his hideous usage of the English language. He had joined us straight from his homeland in Greece, and let's just say that his knowledge of any other languages than Greek was somewhat minimal...but he was getting better every day. I think. He was chasing away a bunch of women and children from the crowd, scaring them away with his nakedness; you see, his X-uniform is only a skimpy little G-string with an "X" imprinted on it. But I'll explain that later. I looked around to see if there was any possible danger that was yet missing our attention. The Glitter Princess was already taking care of our escape route by creating a sparkling cloud of glitter dust in the air that would blind everyone and cover our escape. Then I saw it. That kid that had been pointing at me and laughing at me all the time. The little bastard was still there and giggling. Now, if there was something that really pissed me off, that was having people laughing at me with no possible explanation. I leapt all the way from the spot I was supposed to burn on to the little brat laughing at me and turned my right hand into a very cool looking scythe while mid-air. As I reached the little bastard, I made sure I was positioned in such a way that I wouldn't spoil my uniform with the blood that would gush from the brat's decapitated body. "--END SIMULATION!--" The scene around me instantly turned back into the empty walls and floor of the Danger Room, where we were being tested through a very high-tech Virtual Reality Simulation Program at the time. No need to mention that instead of decapitating the boy, I just landed on my butt on the cold metal floor of the Danger Room. The fact that our teacher Cyclops had interrupted the session in the middle of the battle surely didn't make me very hopeful for a future raise of my grades here in the Xavier Institute For Gifted Children. "What the hell?" Was all that an enraged Monique could ask. My teammates were all really surprised from that interruption, so that probably meant that it was my mistake...again. "Dave!! What were you thinking this time?" Mr. Summers yelled at me. I wore my most innocent and sarcastic smile and turned to face him. "What, Mr. Summers? What did I do again?" "What DIDN'T you do, you mean. First of all, you fell asleep during the simulation! They were about to torch you, dammit! How could you fall asleep?" That reminded my of my little filthy dream during the simulation. I grinned, but Cyke surely didn't know what caused this grin, so he just gave me a harsh look that informed me that he still expected me to answer. "Well, I got bored. How could I not fall asleep? We've been through this very simulation five times already! I would have preferred some variety, please! Wasn't Mr. McCoy able to programme a couple of different programme routines for us to go through? Why do we have to visit that bigoted town of prudes every time? And why do I always have to be the one on the big pole thingy and about to get roasted every time, since I can escape it every time? Frank over there has the most passive mutant power, he should be the 'damsel in distress'!!" "Hey!!" Frank protested. "It's not about the power Dave. It's about being able to handle an angry crowd by yourself while your teammates are still on their way to assist you." "But it's not realistic! Since those people knew I was a mutie, it meant that they had seen me using my power of turning my limbs in sharp melee weapons! And if they knew I could turn my hands in swords, why would they tie me up like this on the pole? It's just not believable! You should fire the guy that made up that unrealistic routine!" I grumbled. "Ehm, that would be me." Mr. Summers said with a soft, dead-cold voice. "Urr, whatever", I mumbled as I looked away. That damned empty room had nothing to pretend you were looking at! "Dave. Let's say that you're justified about the falling asleep part. What about the immense swearing that escaped your little mouth? You were supposed to slow the crowd down until your teammates arrived, not anger them into burning you faster than what they were supposed to!" "Well, they just kept saying the same thing every time I went through that simulation, the same freaking lines. I just wanted to see if they were programmed to say something different if our little chat was taken to more extreme heights. Boy these humans were surely programmed to be prude like nuns!" I answered with an innocent, sheepish grin. "Actually, this VR system is very intricate, and can randomly create very complex virtual characters before planting them into every simulation. That's the information my powers can pick up." Frank interfered in order to show-off his weird mutant power again. You see, he wasn't a psychic, but he could pick up random information, even the most personal kind of information that can't be picked up even by telepaths, and store it in the enormous special storage room that his mutant brain was. Well, that power was kind of a wildcard. He could know the score of a friendly neighborhood baseball game in Australia from a century ago, and at the same time he might not know the title of the new Brad Pitt movie. And that's exactly why he's such a little smartass...He likes to be the broody, silent one that only speaks when he has something sarcastic, funny or impressive to say, based on his random knowledge. For example, he did know that I was gay (although I never actually told him), but he didn't know that our teammate Monique had a huge crush on him! What a waste of good knowledge, huh? That's why the codename "Random" was perfectly fitting for him. Although I still believe we should call him something that would also describe the strange but sexy pastel blue color that covered all of his body. Yeah, his skin has a soft, whitish blue complexion. I wonder if his cock is also blue... Mr. Summers looked back at me, pulling me off my slutty reverie. "Okay, Dave. Explain that last one thing to me; What's with all the bloodlust? You tried to decapitate a five-year-old boy!" "Well that irritating little bunch of pixels was laughing me through four simulated practice tests! Don't I get to kill the little bastard, just this one time? It's not fair!" "But the last time you chopped off the legs of a nun, and the time before you stabbed a man in a wheelchair 65 times...with a tiny dagger!" I pretended that I was paying special attention at my nails..."Yeah, well. They're just pixels. And what do you expect me to do, anyway? My mutant power is all about melee weapons, such as swords and axes and stuff. I can't possibly avoid a little bloodshed. Wolverine has his big pointy claws and nobody expects him to avoid slashing people open with them! " "That's MR. Wolverine to you, kid." The man in question answered from the shadows where he had been watching us all the time. He sure seemed to enjoy our whacky quarrel with our professor. Cyclops gave him a brief nod and then turned his attention to us. "But you dragged your teammates in your own bloodlust! In this simulation alone, The Glitter Princess snapped the neck of a civilian that could have easily been dealt with non-violently, and Random bashed in the head of a 70-year old lady!! What if you go on a real mission? I can't have you killing 70-year old ladies, it won't make humans like us any better!" "Well maybe you shouldn't have her programmed to have a bloody Uzi on her then!" Frank whispered. "And snapping the guy's neck was really inevitable. The last time I just punched him, and, alas, I broke a nail!" Lola protested in turn. "But it was a VR simulation! It didn't break for real!!" Mr. Summers shouted in exasperation. "Yeah but imagine the shock I went through until I realized that! Oh, my poor heart...!" she said, putting her palm over her chest like Ingrid Bergman would do...! No wonder she's so amazing. She's the diva of our little team. She's also kinda older, and she often complains that she shouldn't be in a school-like educational system with us and the other kiddies, but deep down we know she loves us like we do and just says this in order to play her 'Joan Collins' moment... The fact that she's the first mutant drag queen in the institute hasn't provoked any racism problems from others...I mean, what problem would you have with a glitter-generating mutant cross-dresser with knowledge of martial arts when you also share the same home with demon-looking mutants or people with transparent skin and horns and any kind of different appearance that a mutant gene can give you? Racism is not an issue in this school. That's why I'm kinda open about being gay too. Where I used to live before nobody knew about my tendencies to cock-loving. Not that here in the institute I'm open for all to know, but most of the people close to me are aware of my sexuality. On the other hand, it's a little difficult for the other residents on the mansion to find out, since I'm not 'femme' or campy even in the slightest! (although I like musicals! That should have made them suspect something!) Plus my best friend is a drag queen, so it's a little difficult for them to pick me up with their gaydar when I'm hanging around her...! "Mr. Summers, we can go now?" asked Gerry, making the poor man wince. You see, Mr. Summers was also our English Professor. "Yes, Stalker, you can go now." he said as he placed his hand over his forehead and scooped up some sweat in exasperation. "We'll repeat the test some other day. Oh, and don't forget to put something on, okay?" Gerry just nodded. He knew that his English left a lot to be desired yet, so he used as much body language as possible. I personally think that his awful use of English is really cute. He gives the impression of an exotic lover that you use for other things than talking, so knowledge of English isn't really needed. I watched his ass wiggling as he walked over to put some cloths over his G-string. Damn hot! Gerry is a very unique mutant guy. He is able to turn invisible and intangible at the same time, but that stands only for his own self. You see, there other people in the school who can turn either invisible or intangible (our schoolmate Kitty Pride strucks to mind), but they can use it on other people or objects too. If Kitty is holding someone's hand while she turns intangible then that someone will become intangible too. But poor Gerry can't do that for anyone. He can't even do that for his clothing. When he turns invisible, his clothing is still visible so even an old lady without her glasses can trace him. And when he turns intangible, all of his clothing just falls off. So Professor Xavier and our resident scientist Mr. McCoy designed a special G-string for him to use on missions, that can blend in when he turns invisible and will stay in place when he goes intangible. They said they can't do any better than that, because only a g-string can work for Gerry's powers. That's because the 'string' part of the g-string is hidden between his asscheeks and they worked some high-tech mojo on the front part that covers his bits...so Gerry's sweet asscheeks have to be in plain sight every time we go on a "mission". Personally, I could never object to that!! As we exited the Danger Room, Monique approached me and whispered scoldingly in my ear. "You shouldn't give him such a hard time...he's still grieving over the death of Miss Grey." "Oh yeah. I always forget about that dammit! It's easy to forget that they were dating...I never even got to meet her." "Yeah, but you arrived here only a few weeks after her death...you can still remember all the moodiness and the grieving, non?" "Okay, I'll give Mr. Summers a break. It's just that I love teasing him...!" I grinned. "Watch it, if he knew that you were gay he might have thought that you were coming on to him...!" Lola commented as she tucked her man-killing feather boa in her Prada bag. "What? Mr. Summers is gay?" Gerry asked in shock. He probably didn't get what Lola had just said, so she put an arm over his shoulders (It was easy! She's a foot taller than him!) and pulled away from the rest of the group as we all walked in the corridors in order to explain to him. "Well, why did I always have the impression that it was Mr. Wolverine that was dating Miss Grey and not Summers?" I said, trying to get back into our previous topic. "Actually, my powers inform me that you weren't that far from the truth...!" Frank interrupted again, as Monique shot him one of her patented evil looks. "Oh please...! Like anybody believes that story you so obviously made up...!" she started arguing with him again, and her wonderfully bitchy attitude resurfaced again. Their debates were always fun to listen to, especially when it came to Frank-generated gossip...Those kids are so blind to not notice how much they are into each other...! "Another typical day of living in The Mutie School...oh life is so wonderful" I thought to myself and grinned to nobody in particular as I kept walking besides the arguing lovebird-wannabes... Well, how was I supposed to know that things would soon become a lot more interesting? To Be Continued...